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m0ssybox · 2 months

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Day 1: Trope Subversion Bad Boy trope cuz I though it would be funny

@mcyt-aro-week

"Y'know, this is a bit pathetic of you, dont you agree?" Grians voice broke his train of though, though it wasnt much of a train and more of one cart going around and around in never ending loop of nothingness, and that analogy was quickly getting away from him. "No, Grain, I don't think pining from Mr. Goodytwo shoes is pathetic, totally don't, where could you ever get that idea?" That sounded like it had more venom than it needed to, but then again maybe he really needed that much venom, or maybe even more, who knows?

"Hey! No need to get bitchy, Im just saying, your trying to keep your 'bad boy' appearance while also going for someone who is the complete opposite." Grian shrugged, and Joel knew Grian thought it was pathetic, but grian didnt have much to say with whatever he had going on with the tall lanky kid, Mumbo or something, not important anyways. This time Joel didn't reply, instead just groaning and hiding his hands in his face. "This is terrible" He mumble into his hand. He could hear Grain laugh at this, but he mostly tried to tune it out.

Jimmy groan, flopping down face first on his, Tango, and Scotts bed, right next to the others. "I don't know what to do guysss" he practically whined, though it was muffled by him shoving his face in the bed. Jim felt a hand start to mess with his hair and groaned louder.

"I mean, I think the best thing to do it tell him?" Tango suggested, though it sounded more like a question, like he himself wasnt sure that was a good idea.

"Well yeah, but I don't even know if he likes me like that or is intrest in that!" He finally pulled his head away from the bed so they could hear him better.

"You'll never know untill you ask, Sweetie. Amd even if he isn't interested I'm sure he'll still want to be friends, mostly because he isnt that dumb." God, Scott always knew what to say in situations like this, because no offense to Tango but his advice is horrible.

"I guess thats true...when should I tell him?" Jimmy asked, rolling over to stare at the celling. Honestly he didn't even know how he would go about it, he really isnt sure how Joel feels about him, because sure they talk and Joel isnt particularly mean, hes actually quite nice to him, but that doesn't automatically mean Joel would be interested in a qpr.

"You could always met him today?" Scott suggested, though it didn't make much sense because last he knew, Joel spends his weekend with Grian, being 'bad boys' whatever that could mean for them, noone really knows anyways.

"I really couldn't, hes usually busy with Grian."

"Maybe hes not..?" Scott definitely did something, hes not sure but he didnt something to get Joel away from Grain.

Joel felt his phone buzz in his pocket and then heard a ringtone, indicating that it was infact Scott texting him this time, gosh what could that man what today. He rolled his eyes and grabbed his phone, quickly unlocking it and going to his messages with Scott.

Scotty boy: joel, are you prehaps busy right now?

Joel: Not really what do want now.

Scotty boy: how would you feel about meeting up? Like right now at the cafe near your house.

Joel: ig i could, why

Scotty boy: well mr.bad boy, I have something important to tell you, but if you reallyyy dont want to, Ig it could wait

Joel: ugh ill be there in 5.

Scotty boy: perfect!

"Bloody hell, what could he want now" He mumble under his breath, pocketing his phone before standing up and walking to his dresser to find clothes that would make him look semi presentable.

"Joel, whatcha doin'?" Grian asked, slightly confused on what was happening.

"Scott wants to meet up with me for some odd reason I dunno why." Joel answered, Shrugging on a pull-over and a pair of trousers.

"Uhh okay, have fun with that, Ill be here." Grian said, pulling out his phone, probably inviting someone over while he's gone. Joel let out a 'mhm' and made his way to the door.

"Scott, why are you dressing me up like some kinda of toy?" Jimmy waw beyond confused right now. All he knew that he and Scott where going a on a date, as Scott put it, to some cafe hes never heard of.

"You want to look good for out date right? And no offense but I dont trust you to dress yourself Jim" Scott replied, throwing some more of Jims clothes on the floor, which would need to be washed later because of that.

"I guess, but I can infact dress myself just find, I'm an adult y'know."

"You're an adult who doesn't know how to dress well."

"I disagree I think I look perfectly fine." Jimmy knows he looks decent atleast, not bad enough to where he has to get dressed by someone else.

"Oh shush and let me do this or Joel will never want a qpr with you." Huh, strange.

"What are you talking about with Joel?"

"What?" Well, now Scott was just playing dumb with him, god dose he hate when Scott dose that.

"Scott, you said something about Joel, why?" He wasn't going to stop untill he got answers...he might actually that seems annoying for both of them.

"I didn't. Anyways, hurry and put these on so we can leave."

Joel made it to the Cafe fairly quickly, which was expected because he lives fairly close to the cafe, and now he was just waiting too see whatever Scott wanted. He flinched a bit when he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned back to find Scott and Jimmy..? What in the world, why was Jim here.

"Hope we didn't keep you waiting too long, Jim was taking a superr long time to get ready." Scott said like it was nothing, sitting down across from Joel.

"Hello, Scott and Tim. I didn't know you were coming with Scott."

"I didn't know you were going to be here." Jim sat down next to Scott. Also, it was weird, why didn't Jim know he was going to be there, he assumed Scott would have told him, but he also didn't tell Joel Jim was coming so it wasnt fully outta the picture that he didnt know.

"So Scott...what did you need to tell me?" Joel asked, putting his hands in his hoodie pockets.

"Well, I may have lied, it was actually Jimmy who wanted to tell you something, just needed me to get you here so I'll be taking my leave bye, Ill be taking me leave." Scott Stood up, giving Jims hand a small squeeze and whispering something to him.

"So, Tim, what was it that you needed to tell me?"

"Well, uh maybe I had something to tell you and maybe its embarrassing so like dont judge me?" Jim's voice shook a little as he spoke, either from nerves or possibly fear, Joel didnt really know.

"I won't judge" unless it was something stupid, but Jim didn't need to know that.

"Okay, well I have to, y'know, like be your partner, if you'll have me" Joel was speechless, that was not on his bingo card for today, not that he was complaining.

"I, uh, yeah, I would like that too."

#mcyt aro week #smallidarity #joel smallishbeans #jimmy solidarity #aroace

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phdmama · 4 months

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im not sure if this is the right place to ask this but do you have any advice about writing or posting fic after nearly a decade? the last time i posted fic it was a very different fandom and i was 13 ish. what i am struggling with specifically is that last time i wasnt really thinking about including themes or accurate characterisations etc. and the new fandom i want to write in is much smaller and has some incredible writers. the prose is so good with incredible diction, different styles and literary techniques.

so essentially i've stalled because im so focused on trying to incorporate these things that i just end up not writing anything. i think its also a general lack of confidence maybe?

thank you :)

Hi pal! Sorry it took me so long to answer you - I spent yesterday shoveling and today at work!!

I feel like there are maybe two different things in your ask here? There's the issue of writing (especially in a new fandom) and then there's the issue of posting and wanting people to actually read your stuff!

I know this is such a cliche but I really do actually believe this, which is - when it comes to writing, YOUR VOICE MATTERS! Sure you can absolutely emulate the work you're loving (and there's nothing wrong with that! I've certainly done it, I think a lot of us have, especially in the beginning), but it sounds like you're maybe forgetting the most important part. Which is this, in my opinion. Your story is valuable because it's YOURS. No one else can tell it. That's where all the stuff about "write what you want, for you" comes in.

What would you write if you could let go of all of the expectations you're burdening yourself with, to live up to other people's writing, and just let yourself write?

In part - it's so much easier to edit than it is to write (at least that's true for me, my fellow writers, PLEASE feel free to add on to this). The first draft is just for getting it out of your head - from there, you can focus on the craft part of it (if you want to!), really honing your narrative and characterizations and whatnot. But write the first draft and let it be ugly.

In terms of breaking into a new fandom, especially a small one, well. I dunno, but for me, I do love some very rare pairs and when I find something new, I get really excited! So I'm betting there's an audience for your work - it might be small, but dang, I bet it's enthusiastic.

For connecting with people, well. @allwaswell16 has really great enthusiasm for self-promotion (and I'm so bad at it, but she's NOT wrong) - write your fic, make a fic post, post it and reblog it. Tag it!

I know for me, I'm probably too shy to reach out to people and say hey! pls read my fic? But if you haven't made some fandom connections as like, a fan, that might be worth doing as well - not to get people to read your work, but to have other fans to celebrate with! I've made some incredible friends simply by shrieking in the comments on the fics and then stalking them on Tumblr to yell at them some more about how much I love their work. (All in complete sincerity too.)

I am pretty bad at Discord and writers groups and stuff, but maybe there are people there to connect with as well?

And like, a thing I want to be really clear about is, it's 100% okay (and like, super normal?? I think??) to *want* people to read your stuff! I write for me, I share it because I want other people to like it too. it does take time to build up those connections usually, but again, I'm guessing that people who love that pairing are going to be excited for someone who's excited to join in.

Anyway, just some off the top of my head rambling - please please feel free to come back if I can be of any other support? xox

#fic writer problems #writing

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mack-anthology-mp3 · 3 months

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something that really bugs me about art history is when it says 'ok and THIS GUY was the VERY FIRST to do this thing isn't that cool! so original of him!' and the thing is like, painting people naturally, or non-representational colours. like.... are you really sure No One At All tried this before? you really think that between the decline of rome and ~1290 no one ever tried to draw a realistic portrait of someone? Ever??

'they didn't know how because their art was PRIMITIVE' like ohhh okay we're using that word are we. a) medieval art isn't lesser for not being as technically good and b) that wasn't as important to them and c) ...life drawing exists. if people could do really detailed and accurate paintings & miniatures of plants and insects then surely they could do people too that can't be that much of a step. like surely there wasnt a seven hundred year period where no one tried. in the whole world. right?? surely someone got their friend to sit still in front of them as they tried to capture their likeness???

especially when realistic sculpture portraits were being made this whole time? and when more naturalistic roman portraits were still there?? you really think it took people six hundred years to try that out?

and the same with nearing abstraction as well 'g*uguin was the first person to put the realm of the imagination in art' IN THE 1880S. WHAT. IMAGINATION. in ART. have you never seen a kid draw?? or like.. anyone draw anything from their mind??? what about all those people painting dragons and angels and miracles and here be monsters? 'non representational colours were new and shocking!' ok that gets a bit of a pass for most of it but like... you really think people spent all of impressionism painting things The Exact Colour They Were? like surely someone thought of that before?? surely there was someone somewhere who did a bit of art for fun who painted, i dunno, a purple tree for fun?

and abstraction as well - you think no one before that ever was just messing around on a page and put some really nice colours together and decided that looked nice as it was??

idk i just get annoyed when people look at art in such a defined and solid way that seems to almost being enforcing limits on creativity by saying that only a few people were even doing new and interesting things. like probably a lot of this stuff did happen and we don't have it anymore but. yeah

#aaaaaaanyways #art history #doing early renaissance in class and the whole 'no one knew how to properly draw people!!!1! just feels so off to me??#idk its just like.... people in the past weren't stupid yknow #anyways if anyone has something to add i'd love to hear your thoughts it cant just be me losing it over this #hahaaa right?

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fipindustries · 1 year

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btw finished full metal alchemist

yeah, i mean there isnt much i can say that hasnt been said before, it IS a really good fucking anime, probably one of the best.

there were like maybe one or two stumbles right at the very end where it was a bit frustrating that no matter everything the heroes tried the bad guys plan just worked like it was supposed to without a hitch, but on the other hand everything the heroes did during the show contributed to the bad guy being defeated after they won, so thats cool.

the other little problem is that a lot of the solutions the heroes pulled depended a lot on cool alchemic tricks and loopholes which i wasnt able to entirely follow, the magic system of this world is not hard enough for me to feel like the manuevers they did made total sense, like ok, sure, i guess alchemy can do that, i supposed it was never explicitly said that it couldnt. im just not super comfortable with a story when incredibly important and pivotal moments hinge entirely on what can be done within a system that hasnt been thoroughly and rigidly defined. it skirts suspiciously close, narrative wise, to pulling things out of your ass.

maybe ive just been spoiled by sanderson, i dunno.

regardless. this is a beautiful story, filled to brims with the most endearing, lovable ensemble cast of characters ever put to screen. they are all beautiful special babies, even the villains, even the secondary and tertiary characters. there is such a palpable love for humanity in this story and its shown in the lovingly empathetic and humane way that every single character, no matter how righteous or how vile, is shown. this feels like the work of a kind loving god who just wants to gush about their creations. this is a mom proud of her babies. yes, even the naughty ones can be endearing.

(i want to make a quick aside to say this is, bar none, the platinum standard for a female cast, this show has women the likes of which you havent seen before, SPECIALLY in anime, there is no woman who isnt a queen here, who isnt serving cunt 24/7, who isnt sliving, like contrapoints would say. top notch ladies, incomparable, perfection, it cant be done better than this, dont even try, cheffs kiss)

its super engaging how the plot never stops moving forwards, how everyone is sharing information with everyone else immediatly, how there are no plot contraivances, everything flows so organically. it feels both loose and tight. its emotional and profound and thrilling and touching and epic.

im sad that i didnt get to see this sooner, i feel that this would have hit me so much harder at a more impresionable age, maybe before worm or unsong or terra ignota, when i wasnt used to coming across masterpieces that attempted things like this at this scale, this well excecuted.

8/10

#full metal alchemist

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hiro-doodlez · 10 months

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HELP I can't see my therapist for a couple of weeks and am currently having something i like to dub "yet another hiro autism crisis" where i contemplate if my therapist gave me the right diagnoses (she has told me she is not certified to give autism diagnoses, and instead more things like depression) Right now, I am diagnosed with ADHD, Anxiety/ Social anxiety (its still up in the air, DPDR, and depression. idk if that matters SO NOW I LIST RANDOM THINGS that could be considered symptoms or not I DUNNO HOW TO DO THISS feel free to ask questions about some of the crap i say here half of it doesn't make sense

First off, I have a general trouble understanding most social situations, and struggle sometimes when talking about practically anything. For example, earlier today my step-mom basically said she wasnt going to finish her food and let my brother have it. my brother said he would leave 2, he didnt (BOZO) and later after he left she found the empty container and said something along the lines "HAH! I thought he said he was gonna leave me 2!" and immdeiately without thinking i went "hey! you said he could have as many as he can! and hes working 10 hours a day and needs his energy!!" half jokingly and she got mad at me for it, we got into a mini argument over that.

When saying something thats serious, i tend to make a joke around it and i have NO CLUE why. I just CANT be openly upset around people. For example, when being told about something that happened to me as a kid that NEVER SHOULD HAVE HAPPENED RAGRHAGHAG, instead of having a breakdown and being reasonably upset, i burst out into giggles and laughs while my brother was just so fucking confused on what was wrong. It was kinda like i couldn't stop and it fucking sucked

The TINIEST things can upset me, and other HUGE things can have little to no effect. Its so incredibly annoying

I have INTENSE fluxuations in interests, hobbies, and motivation for certain projects. I will start on this huge project that im INCREDIBLY excited for, and then a week later have little to no interest in continuing it.

I make everything about my personality a joke, i dont know why. EVERYTHING i tend to say or do has to be funny. it's like i dont want people to see beneath that

I fluctuate in personality A TON, especially depending by the people i am around. At school, I'm the quiet kid. I don't talk to anyone except maybe 5 people, but other than that i tend to stay completely silent. It could be a mask? i dunno. but when im at home, ask my brothers, i am BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS. it might also be me just getting some of my energy out? RRAHHH I DUNNOOO

I will simply forget to do very important things to the point of endangering my health. Like forgetting to eat for a day straight. my step-mom thinks i have an ED AND I DONT. i literally just keep realizing suddenly at like 6 pm all i have eaten is a couple of skittles and pringles.

i have no clue how talking to people works and im constantly winging it. I forget how to have friends especially how to even talk or interact with them and its so stupid. I can't ever start a conversation with someone without having at least 5 minutes going "am i weird for this am i being annoying am i being clingy".

If i say even one thing wrong i WILL be thinking about it for DAYS thinking about how they probably hate me now and im a terrible person ect. ect.

I tend to hide many of my traits (especially good ones) because i am incredibly embarrassed and never want anyone to EVER compare themselves to me.

im a people pleaser does that count

i tend to get extremely upset if i get told one bad thing about something that i like or just a project i have. For example, I had this fandom silly man poll because i just wanted to find out who was silly. Then one of my friends just posted something like "i hate fandom polls theyre the worst" and i just lost complete motivation afterwards. I haven't touched that blog in WEEKS at this point becuase i simply have no more interst

I have had a meltdown or 2 before, and they both stemmed from being told about how i was a bad person. i don't know why the hell thats a thing

I can't stay focused on one thing for long periods of time (ADHD cough cough) Like literally earlier i was watching this video about autistic traits and i kept having to back the video up because i would get sidetracked in my mind to the point where im just not listening anymore

if im not paying attention to people sometimes I SWEAR theyre saying "ffajaleifnanamzmaldafjkjeffnma" and as soon as i start noticing it suddenly theres words again. hate that.

i have times where it can kinda seem like i cant speak, and if i do everything comes out wrong and jumbled. Like when my autistic friend would have a sensory related meltdown, i would never know what to do and end up going dead silent because of being so mad at myself for not knowing how to help (any tips actually hahahahaHOW DO I HELP)

i have little idea who the hell i am. had a mini-crisis because i didn't know what my favorite color was because before, it was the color my friend with synesthesia said i was and i just went with that (i think its purple or blue i have no fucking clue JFALJK)

i will have spikes of random motivation on one thing. like learning lanugauges, i will have a week where its so easy to get like 10 lessons on duolingo done a day and then the next week its a struggle to get even one done.

i focus better with distractions ??? I can't focus without music and tend to do better on reading tests if everyone else in the class is talking ???

i remember the most random things about certain things. Like, i could not for the LIFE of me remember what color that one persons hair that i was talking to for 15 minutes straight. but i can remember that they had pink socks on. WHY IS THAT WHAT I REMEMBER??

I hate organization and doing the same thing every day. i NEED chaos. My brother a little bit ago helped me out and got me to make a personal to-do list. i couldnt do it a single day even though the things were extremely simple like "brush hair, make bed, eat breakfast ect."

i zone out a LOT. especially when people bring up topics im uncomfortable with or conflict with my current feelings. i go into a kinda little talking (not nonverbal, i can still talk) or just confused state that freaking sucks.

when im in a high energy mood i tend to not feel.. reall???? I do many things overboard and annoy the heck out of my brothers. i always feel terrible afterwards.

Idk if this is weird to say but i tend to get really off put when people im comfy with get haircuts or major changes in their appearance. I never like the change no matter what the hair cut looks like. i dont have any clue why

i have no clue whether or not any of this is real or if I have managed to make it all up in my head. (bascially when i was younger i wanted attention and ended up faking depression for a year straight and was an absolute ass to my friends and blah blah blah)

#hiro.txt #autism #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #autistic #mental illness help #asd #asd help #nd help #rrahh #like i cant tell if i am masking INCREDIBLY WELL or not #i have no clue #oh its almost 1 am LOL

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thefirstknife · 2 years

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first thank you for compiling all those posts, it was fascinating to read through especially since i knew there had to be depth to mara and uldren as characters to inform their decisions/the way the lore plays out. i knew mara to be an incredibly complex character, though i will admit i avoid reading much about her because the way she is presented in game is uncomfortable to say the least. (mostly personal feelings/experiences, but probably partially intentionally as well) regardless, a couple questions. number one would be your thoughts on this well intentioned manipulation from mara. though the answer might be in her current character development, i wonder why its more acceptable to strip agency when its 'for their own good'. i do think thats pretty integral to mara, her driving things through her own admittedly vast insights towards the greater good, and while theres an interesting debate to be had on the morality of it, youre right to point out that the morality sort of is a moot point when she is staring down the metaphorical barrel of a gun. im simultaneously fascinated to see where her development goes while not wanting to forgive the shortcomings of her actions. i acknowledge shes done and continues to do the best she can but ugh. why has it taken so long? (i mean, obviously because she hasnt had a catalyst to spur her development like she does now, but well) i do feel for her which is honestly surprising considering i really didnt before i sent that first ask. but anyway, my second question. savathun being the one to deliver uldrens memories to crow... truth be told, i assumed it to be as neutral a way as anything, as it seemed she just... unlocked the memories from his/uldrens perspective a la deepsight/darkness memory shenanigans rather than trying to spin it one way or another. probably naive of me considering its literally savathun, and its more likely than not to have been an intentional attempt to harm him, but i dunno. something about cutting to heal. lancing a wound to drain the rot. again, probably naive, but i also have in the back of my mind the lore where savathun is feeling something (positive i presume, affection, nostalgia? who knows) when at the bonfire with crow and the guardian. if i remember right sav draws connections to her siblings, and is reeling against some uninvited feelings this conjures. makes me wonder how much she is or isnt sympathising with crow (and on that note, osiris. her lines during the glykon exploration, about the folly of her youth, blends really close to osiris. almost like she wasnt exactly lying directly, but through omission of context). she says it herself that she feels sympathy for crow, but again. savathun. narratively i think it was important things played out this way, but had they chosen to write uldren/crows story to follow the plans mara laid out, are we 100% sure that the two of them wouldntve just fallen into the same pitfalls as before, with crow trying to impress, and mara manipulating 'for his own good'? do you think she could have succeeded in achieving the crow we see now after severance without all the drama? should she even have had to? maybe it was good for her not to have to undertake the same role she always had with uldren, being a star for him to follow. gah, i have to sleep, but man do i have a lot of thoughts. anyway, thanks again for the first response! i have worms in my brain.

You're welcome!

For the first question, about how Mara wanted to manipulate/shape Uldren into something else: I don't think it was good ultimately. Mara even admits that it wasn't. At first she's only talking about how it's because she failed, but later she becomes much more open about how much the idea sucked no matter what (especially after she talks more to Ikora and Crow in particular, but also after all the stresses of dealing with Savathun). Uldren was always reckless, even as a human and she hated it because she was basically tasked with raising him and she had her own issues. She wanted so badly to make him different, but it failed and she made it worse. It took her time to realise that the idea itself was flawed from the start. Seeing as she accepted Crow and her responsibilities over Uldren's fate, she definitely changed her tune. We probably won't get a full explicit apology from her, but then again, that's between her and Crow.

Second question about Savathun and Crow's memories: the biggest problem with Savathun doing it was that we have no clue what she did to him and how she did it so we couldn't intervene to help him. Did she give him everything? Only the bad stuff? Only stuff about Uldren after he got corrupted? It was also... a lot to dump on a person at once. Uldren lived for thousands of years and there were some truly gruesome memories in there, especially post Black Garden. It could've seriously hurt Crow to get him exposed for example to the memory of the Black Heart. It's also the emotional impact of finding out that every single person you trusted lied to you in the worst way. Like, YW participated in killing Uldren and Crow trusted us as a friend. And then he got a memory of being at the other end of our gun.

Savathun definitely had some legitimate feelings for Crow however. She's a very complex character as well and the feelings she experienced while watching YW and Crow were genuine. She also admitted that she has a soft spot for "exiles." She latched onto Crow and Osiris, but also previously she also gave a safe haven of sorts to her nephew, Nokris, who was exiled for heresy. She herself was also exiled. I would say those feelings were definitely as genuine as possible when it comes to Savathun. However, the way she dumped Uldren's memories on Crow was still traumatic and ultimately a bad way to deal with such a sensitive situation.

As for the third what-if scenario: I genuinely have no clue. Had Mara's original plans worked out perfectly in every detail... Who knows. If Uldren never went to the Black Garden and never got corrupted and Mara never died to Oryx and... There are too many variables. I personally think it wouldn't have been as compelling as a story. The Sov siblings are incredibly well written characters who have a lot of complexity and a lot to offer to the storytelling as they are now. I honestly wouldn't want it any other way. Their story is full of tragedy, but also change and hope, as it is with Destiny.

#destiny 2 #mara #uldren #lore vibing #long post #yw is also a huge factor here especially for the last bit #both mara and uldren hated guardians at first and they both went through their own hardships to change that #uldren died and became a guardian. mara had to accept that and had to accept that she needs our help #she needed to be humbled and she needed to understand that she cannot fight the universe alone #she went from absolutely detesting the yw to trusting us with her brother's life and telling her deepest secrets to us #and now with crow she was forced to stop viewing guardians as just tools #poetic cinema

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masonsystem · 1 month

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my enthusiasm has gradually petered out over the past few days bc i had been so busy + havent been getting enough sleep, but aa2 was a truly amazing experience for me ESPECIALLY the last case, so i still want to dissect my thoughts on it although im not as hyped up as i was right after i finished playing it (i was jumping around and grinning and pacing around my room for hours and shit 😁) i have so many thoughts so im gonna split my review rambling whatever this is into different parts, this one is my thoughts on the first three cases :D

1st case was nothing spectacular.. pretty long for a tutorial level but i guess it was acting as padding for the more dramatic 2nd case.. i guessss. at least it was very funny and not too hard to solve. and it was also trying to be more thorough in teaching the gameplay mechanics during court sessions and making sure players have an idea of what to expect in later cases.. probably... its whatever whatever. at least an amnesic concussion is still the funniest way to reteach a tutorial so im so happy they went with that.

i liked the second case!! i wasnt able to figure out how the clothing box fit into everything until the very end, so i could rly understand wright's panic, bc for a good chunk of the case it really did seem like maya had killed someone. i think this case felt the most 'turnabout' of them all, bc in other cases there were other plausibilities and culprits right from the get-go, but w the way this murder happened in a locked room with (seemingly) only 2 individuals inside, it actually did feel impossible to save maya at first. so it was very satisfying to pick apart the lies and inconsistencies and be able to arrive to the truth. and it was nice to see kurain village, and learn more about the feys in general. and it was nice to see mia again!!! i wasnt sure if she would be coming back or not. mia and maya's reunion at the end of the case was super touching, bc one of the saddest moments in aa1 to me was during the 4th case when maya couldnt channel mia, and was wondering if she would ever be able to see her again.. so it was nice that she was really able to see her again :')

speaking of mia, i dont know if this series will explore this further, but just thinking abt her state of existence is lowkey kinda scary.. like, whats it like being dead? whats the difference between being alive and dead, considering mia is still somewhat mentoring and advising us despite being dead? could a fey, who can just possess another fey like that, be able to steal the body of another fey if they were killed? (this sounds like a possible case in the future, i wonder if this will happen..) will mia be like that forever? will future generations be able to speak to this mia, can she like.... rest? disappear? does she want to? can she? and its also pretty sad too, with how in aa1 when maya wondered if she could see her again; i feel like its less sad to have someone you love die and have that be that, than it is for them to die and you can maybe or maybe not see them again.. like i dunno. i hope this gets explored more, im curious abt it!!

also, mia being in this state of 'is but isnt here' really makes phoenix's character more enriching to me, bc in the first game he lost someone very dear and important to him... except not really. and we never really see him properly grieve mia in any extent if my memory is correct. like he didnt really dwell on it, he had to push thru it in order to defend maya. but then now in the second game, when we compare wright's almost... flippancy towards mia's death to his refusal to even acknowledge edgeworth's 'death'.... its a super interesting difference. this isnt to say that phoenix necessarily values one character over the other, but bc mia isnt necessarily 'gone'... there technically isnt much to mourn? kinda?? so the way we see phoenix behave in this game irt edgeworth, we get to properly see how phoenix behaves in the face of actual loss.. and his answer to loss is to completely reject it. and it works amazingly with gameplay too, bc he's really just compartmentalizing tf out of his issues and being like Nope. Let's Examine This Room Instead :) while maya or pearl just stares at him like 😐 it adds an extremely compelling layer of depth to wright's character!! and these moments of wright's rejection of his loss are done just the perfect amount of times, very seldomly and very restrainfully, that it creates this perfect air of tension throughout the entire game before it finally blows over in the last case. I LOVE IT RRARRGHHHH

pearl's and franziska's introduction to the story were amazing as well! i had no idea what pearl's character would be like... definitely was not expecting her to be mia's vessel #2 😭 but no yes pearl was an infinitely adorable and entertaining character, it is just so so so so awesome to have a tiny child who speaks so elegantly and have such mature tastes, but still be a cute tiny child. i love you pearl. if shes not in the next game im going to be REALLY REALLY SAD....... and franziska came in with just a massive dominating personality like Yes!!! she livened up so much of the game with her presence. im going to give franziska her own post bc she deserves it so ill talk abt her more in depth later.

and of course the ini miney twist... i already said this but the reasoning for the reveal (you cant drive without a license) is fucking IJBOL but ignoring the absurdity of that, it was a really good twist that i didnt see coming but could still be satisfied with. it was also really sad that morgan had to be convicted too, for pearl's sake i had really hoped that tht wouldnt be the case :( all in all the second case was very suspenseful, emotional, and very very good. i really liked it!

and the third case............................................................................

i wanted to put a reaction image here. but i could not find anything that could express the magnitude of my immense disgust. disappointment. resentment. and unhappiness................

i already posted a lot of my main grievances with it in my lb tag, and thinking abt this case again is just self-inflicting psychic damage so ill keep it short. but man did it suck. cuz currently in life i can only play aa like 2/3 days a week and then its back to 4/5 days of work. i did the first two cases in 3 days, worked for the rest of the week, and came back in anticipation bc the second case left off on such a good note. and then to use my 2 free days on a case this shitty... BROOOOOO FUCK THIS SHIT MAN!!! i spent the following days of work just being PISSED AS HELLLL cuz like i wanted to play a better case but now i could seeth as i worked bc of this SHITTY CASE like not only did it suck but it had to be LONG too. not like final case long but normal case long but ugh it sucked sucked sucked. ive said this before but i get they were trying to make the murder seem like a magic trick that we had to figure out the inner workings of, but like.... it just fucking sucked and wasnt well-executed at all. it didnt help that nearly every character in this case was incredibly grating and annoying and the one bearable character, acro, had to be the killer.. also that fucking ventriloquist like why was he standing around in the second day when there was literally nothing to talk to him about? also why did the ringmaster wear max's fucking clothes like wha..... i dont even care anymoreeeee 😭 ok bye bye im gonna gush about the 4th case in a seperate post now cuz that was the best fucking thing ever!!!!!!

#aa lb

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ballnnchainn · 2 months

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few questions:

how do you feel about erics natal chart? did anything rly stick out to you?

would eric have enjoyed compliments and verbal affection more than physical? he seemed very needy physically (as any inexperienced teenager would) but i read somewheres that while in his relationship with the girl he dated 20 times, it wasnt touchy at all and that he was very, very respectful towards girls; i dont think he minded it not being physically affectionately based, but i figured id ask

erics natal chart… honestly, i need to learn way more about astrology in general. first of all, astrology aside, whoever made that chart that goes around online… eric was born in wichita, kansas not plattsburgh, new york!!! that always irks me, lol. also, i dont know where they got his birth time from so we should take it with a grain of salt. but honestly, aries sun, cancer moon & scorpio rising pretty much says it all. i mean i could just look at that and say “yep thats eric”. if we assume his chart is true… the other thing id point out is that he has a lot of aries placements and 6 fire placements overall. are we shocked? i dunno, i need to learn more.

eric definitely appreciated praise. heres some quotes from his journal: “if people would give me more compliments all of this might still be avoidable..” “you people could have shown more respect, treated me better, asked for my knowledge or guidance more, treated me more like a senior..”. i think eric would’ve probably really liked both.. but i think what he needed more was the actual praise. wayne harris was pretty strict as a military parent (if you know, you know) and i doubt eric even got praise on a daily basis. he also hated how he looked. being complimented wouldve given him a very much needed self esteem boost.

the girl he dated like 20 times or more was sasha jacobs. id have to go back and read what she said again, but i do remember on the date he had with susan dewitt (prom night 99) he was super respectful of her and only put his arm around her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. if a girl didnt want a touch, absolutely eric wouldve backed off immediately. i think being with someone, talking about deeper things, and actually being treated like a human being wouldve been most important to him.

#mine

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arlecchno · 1 year

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that . dream sounds disturbing :D for some reason nowadays ive started to get more disturbing dreams as well ? they cant be described as nightmares because well i wasnt exactly scared ?? by them but they were ,,,, yk . disturbing . idk maybe im too desensitized to things my brain just either emotionally damages me or is like HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT [ throws random disturbing thing / content ] in my “nightmares” sometimes -

NOT THE LONELINESS 😭😭 i relate except im may or may not be legitimately lonely lmfao . a lot of those frickin popular uquiz quizzes call me out for it and im like “🤠⁉️”

lmao haitham is picking up cynos humor ?? not clickbait real ???? memes aside thanks for more portrayal validation i love rping alhaitham ( esp with kavehs ) theyre so fun - oh yeah i also have this

ngl since i have an alhaitham pfp on discord , i was kinda reading my messages in his voice cuz i was slandering language LMAO ( imagine alhaitham pronouncing “balogna” the way its spelled . made me giggle ngl )

im pretty sure aster has been my oc for almost a year now ( I DID NOT REALIZE IT WAS THAT LONG BEFORE GODDAMN - ) so they have . an unholy amount of lore at the moment . i rlly need to modify the lore though because me and my friend ( we both made genshin ocs and theyre like partner ocs ) made our ocs before the release of sumeru where we got more information about irminsul and the leylines — which was vvvvvv important for my friends ocs lore — so now a lot of our stuff is either minorly outdated or some of our lore would just make a lot more sense done a different way 😭😭

even tho asters forever home ( well , as long as dilucs around ig ) is dawn winery , they travel teyvat a lot , which ties into their original name :D they wander the world too lmao ( its totally not an excuse to make them friends with all the character i like wdym hahahahahahahhaha ) . NGL THEY PROBABLY ALL MET AT THE TAVERN - whenever asters in mond ( a lot of the time bc obviously their house is there ) they work at angels share and like aster would walk into the tavern for the first time for like . a drink . dunno what kind of drink but then they just SEE this random ass kid from THEIR FALLEN ASS NATION and go “WTF” and promptly find out he is a fucking dumdum stoopid head and then regret ever coming to this place /j at the beginning kaeya and aster probably did argue at the bar a lot , these two khaenriahns WILL cause diluc to lose his sanity but its okay because then they can all cuddle by the fireplace when theyve all agreed that theyre okay with eachother ( they love eachother /p theyre just all in denial . ) . overall ragbros + aster relationship is just pure chaotic fluff and angst - sometimes they go out to murk all the fatui outside in mondstadt ! fun !! and oh god i typed WAY TOO MUCH ON THIS LMFAO

THE VOID BRICK WALL LMAO ah yes such a beauty is the unknown of the brick wall , it contains all the vastness of the universe in one block and you may observe every galaxy in its grain . also NOT THE TREE CRASH 😨

WHEKJDKDND YEAH I NEED A THOMA ROOMIE IF I EVER DECIDE ITD BE OKAY TO MOVE OUT IN THE FAR FUTURE BECAUSE I DONT THINK ID HAVE THE MENTAL ENERGY TO CLEAN THE PLACE ONCE A WEEK - and if i didnt id probably go crazy because i cant stand the feeling of dirt or sand on floors ….. bleh .

I ALWAYS STRUGGLE NO MATTER WHAT NATION LIKE . THERE WAS AN OCULI NEAR DAWN WINERY THAT I ALWAYS SAW THE DUMBASS SPARKLE TO ON THE MAP AND THEN IT TURNS OUT I NEED TO FLY A L L T H E W A Y UP SOMEWHERE TO GET IT LIKE . ARE . YOU . KIDDING . ME - it took me one whole year to figure out how to get that oculi . maybe im just stupid

omg you can NEVER mention dragonspine / winter patches around me im . IMPOSTER ALBEDO AND FELLFLOWER . they make me insane . i fucking USHXISJDIEIHDHSHAHAAAAAAAAA albedo / rhinedottir lore . alchemy in genshin impact lore . i am so . i will go feral the next time dorian / rubedo ( impostorbedo ) appears in story , wether it be event or not im . im insane thats what i am ………… hahaha …… 🤠

sometimes i forget people farm friendship exp .. im a super duper lazy player who absolutely despises grinding with my entire soul ( im the definition of “lore player” /hj ) i almost never switch out my team unless for fighting elemental bosses or enemies lmao -

DUDE MY CLASSES HAVE BEEN ACTUALLY SCREWING ME OVER WITH PROJECTS RN IM LOSING MY SANITY /nsrs im suffering so much . im losing so much precious sleep …… starts sobbing uncontrollably

i really like milk and white choccy too lmao - probs bc i just cant rlly handle bitter things but OH WELL ! my absolute favorite kind of chocolate is like any kind with strawberries / strawberry flavor in them , recently one of my friends shared some valentines chocolates she got from her boyfriend with our friend group and i gotta say that strawberry chocolate they had in there was ABSOLUTELY SCRUMPDIDDILYUMPTIOUS . it had pieces of dried strawberry too it was just . MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

DUDE where i live we have these things called mochi donuts and theyre so good ( ngl you can probably guess where im from just from googling mochi donuts lmao - ) regular donuts r yumyum good but mochi donuts are so satisfying to consume LMAO - but man i havent had a cinnoroll in AGES .. i think im just a pastry enjoyer in general lmao , strawberry , apple , and guava pastries are my life .

tbh i dont think any reply would ever be too long for me to read , like you could probably write me a 3 page essay as a reply and id sure as hell read it LMAO i ramble a lot too so that just makes the both of us 😋

HEIDJEKJD favorite song questions are so hard , right now id have to say either undercover martyn - two door cinema club if you just wanted my music taste im gonna list a bunch of artists now because i am a free advertising machine when i like things : owl city , the neighbourhood , chase petra , lovejoy , everybodys worried about owen , and uhhh everything from the epic: the musical sagas

ZE QUESTION ! whats your favorite like ambient sound ( city noises , water , leaves , etc etc ) and why :0

wOOO SATURN EMOJI 🪐🪐🪐🪐 I LOVE SPACE !! CYA NEXT TIME 💫💫

- jellyfish ( or alex idk lol )

oh my god HI AGAIN ALEX i'm sorry that i wasn't able to reply to this sooner 💔💔 my inbox has been wonky for some reason and it finally worked today (thank god), i hope this won't happen again 😔🤞 i miss talking with you so here's a really long reply hehe hope you don't mind!

i've had my fair share of disturbing dreams lmao, and i've also heard that if you get those kinds of dreams then it means you're dying early??? i don't really believe in superstitions though so i'm not exactly worried about it LOL

your alhaitham rps are hella funny LMFAO i always think of alhaitham of someone who'd slander a lot of things especially when it comes to languages (since he canonically speaks 20 languages), i also see him as someone who'd mispronounce words or pronounce words as exactly what they're written (like you said) and say it with such a straight face 😭 i feel like if you ever tried explaining it to him he'd be like "what do you mean this is pronounced as baloney? why is it even spelled as bologna if you're going to pronounce it so wrongly? what has this system become?" and i'm just going to be in the corner laughing my ass off at how blunt and unintentionally funny this man is

aster lore is back again!!!!! seeing you mention that aster was created before sumeru and how it's already been a year since their existence made me realize how long sumeru has been out for,, sooner or later we'll be getting fontaine in no time 😵 but back to aster! it always interests me how you have this whole background story of aster which is HELLA cool and stuff and how you keep up with the genshin lore too! i think it's such a nice touch for them to be related with the ragbros too— i can just see their silly little arguments and silly little moments they have together. i'm also sure as hell the moment aster sees the khaenriah eyes (well,, eye... to be specific) in kaeya they'd be like "oh hell no." too SJDJKJS it's just so funny thinking of the many scenarios of their first encounter could play out

oh trust me, i hate cleaning my room. if i ever have a roommate one day, i am praying to the lord that they're the most strictest person on earth so that they can make me move my ass around 😔 i'm just not the person who has the energy to do all that often

don't get me started. the oculis in mondstadt are actual hell. like i'm literally not kidding. how can they call it the nation of freedom when i have no freedom trying to get all those oculis when i was in such a low ar? /j

jokes aside the locations of those oculis in mondstadt were so... brutal. i remember using those oculi compass things and the locations they showed at stormterror's lair were so????? some of them were up at the sky and my low ar ass was so confused on how to get up there,, i also remember there was this one that was hidden in like a pillar and i actually had to get my ass up the highest hill there to fly down into that pillar because somehow they won't let me climb the pillar up... those were truly my darkest times lmfao

WINTER PATCHES!!!!! i really miss them haha i was so excited during the snowman event back then and i made a bunch of cute snowmans and taking pics of them with kazuha. hope hyv bring back the winter patches ASAP ‼️‼️ WE NEED MORE ALBEDO LORE ‼️‼️ also idk if you have done the windblume story event but just in case i'm still adding a spoiler alert;;

i'm guessing we got some rhinedottir lore? well it was only mentioned that she's apart of the hexenzirkel and she called herself a mother to albedo (despite the many things she's done that would say otherwise lmao). but fetus bedo in the cutscene is so cute hsjdjdjjs and it basically implied that his hair wasn't tied like that but instead he was created with that hair style 😭 bros really just magnificent without even trying

i'm so very interested with rhinedottir/albedo/durin/dorian lore like i just know that there's more to what we know currently.... but we probably won't be getting much anytime soon considering how deep rhinedottir's lore is sobs

LMAO i get what you're saying with being a lazy player,, i myself have been detaching myself off from genshin impact recently and it's quite relaxing‼️ i don't panic that i missed out on daily's anymore and i hope it continues that way 😭 i log in once in a while to do the events and disappear again for the next week

ahhhh the thought of school projects and assignments makes me squirm kwdjdjdj my break basically ended and i start school on monday so hahaha.... i'm back to hell again </3 so not ready for the heavy workload . hope you're getting enough rest!!! school is always so hectic hhhhh hope you're managing well

dried strawberries in strawberry chocolates????? SIGN ME TF UP(!!!!!!!! i love anything related with strawberries they're literally the best. thing. to ever. EXIST! mochi donuts sound so good looking at the pictures on google made me want to just . chomp them following the shapes one by one. donuts are absolutely scrumptious.

guava pastries?? :0 never heard of them but i'd definitely try them if i could ever get my hands on them, any pastry MUST be tried out by me‼️‼️‼️‼️ *evil laughing intensifies*

glad that i have someone to ramble stuff with!!! at least i won't suffer by keeping all this excitement to myself while rambling stuff on this blog ☝️

just listened to undercover martyn!!! i think it's kinda stuck in me now LMAO the sick beats are getting to me,,, and the beats lowkey remind me of remember when by wallows which is one of my favourite songs by the band!!!

OMG OWL CITY?? HAHA this is truly ironic because i used to love his wreck it ralph song when the movie came out!! this gave me so much nostalgia and kinda made me want to watch the movie again LOL 😭😭 overall your music taste is so>>>> you made me discover new artists like chase petra and lovejoy!!! i'm currently in love with beabadobee shdjdh some of my favourite songs from her currently are you lie all the time and dance with me 😋🤞

oh this question is interesting— i pretty much love oceans the most, if anything. the sound of waves and the chilly wind gives me so much comfort for some reason, and somehow the smell of saltwater never bothered me,, despite my dislike towards salt in general LMAO.

other than that, i think this might sound weird . but i kind of like the sound of the hustle and bustle of flea markets too. they can be kind of overwhelming sometimes because of screaming children and whatnot- but for some reason i enjoy listening to people talking with each other whilst buying stuff sjsklk very odd but it's interesting to see what other people are up to. it's so very fascinating to see the human life evolve and for me that's comforting somehow 😵‍💫

a question for you!!!! what's your favourite season and why :D

i better not get ahead of myself with my rambling and end this off here. hopefully my inbox won't shut down again like last time!! i was so upset that i couldn't reply to your ask and ended up replying this really late 💔 thrilled to see your reply soon!!! have a nice day alex 🪐🪐🪐🪐 (YES SATURN EMOJIS WOO!!!)

#h answers #jellyfish <3 #oh this was way longer than i intended to LMAO

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stars-in-our-skies · 1 year

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I think you missed the entire point of that poll

It’s not “psychological VS spiritual” it’s “using the word otherkin as it was intended (an identity) vs using it for characters you simply relate to”

Also, having a past life and identifying as that thing from a past life is inherently not a delusion. Spreading misinformation like that is harmful to those who actually experience psychosis.

Ignore any spelling errors. I have a migraine.

A. didnt misunderstand the point, just thought it was a non-issue, because it is

B. MY point was that, tldr, who gives a fucking shit what term you use when you experience the same thing. I believe i said that, too.

but, ok right. if the question is "kinning for fun". i can't imagine youd be "kinning" anything unless you seriously identified with what youre "kinning" as.

in which case, the definition of kin is identifying with/as something-- as in, part of your identity. & as someone who was in that community for a while i didnt notice anyone trying to claim that there was this huge difference between why you identify with/as something until… maybe a year or two ago? I dunno. im not involved much anymore. Like i said, things got crazy around the time that mogai first gained waves. Historically on otherkin forums it was accepted as just another way of experiencing kinship. (And i would know, i was there!)

so by our definition… yes, it should be included in kin if it's what they want. If you're looking for "believing in kinship spiritually i.e past lives" vs "strongly identifying with/as something" then… theres not too much of a difference in the experience other than origin. In which case, we already had words for those; spiritual kin & psychological kin. i did not keep a kin journal & frequent sites like otherkin.net back in 2016 for yall to tell me that this wasnt a thing LMAO.

(sidebar, it reminds me of when people try to say that endo systems are ~inherently different~ to traumagenic systems because of ~fundamental differences~ or some bullshit. They aren't, theyre functionally the same. they just formed under different conditions. Same shit, different community. //shrug)

But, lets use your example then. "Relating to a character". I dont believe that happens, but ok, thats me and maybe im wrong. if the thing was "i kin for funsies but i dont think im actually that thing / i just relate to this character" then yes, it would be a different word. I'm not sure about these days, but 8 years ago we called that a synpath. and even then, still not an issue. The broad otherkin community has always been accepting of kin-for-fun. Thats why terms like synpath & -hearted were made -- because theyre subtypes of otherkin & fictionkin.

i'm not fond of the "they should use a different word" thing. Seems like another attempt at "correcting" people on their own identities. Leaves a bad taste in my mouth considering how often "you cant use this word because it was made with this other thing in mind" is used as an argument against queer identities but i digress.

I could see this argument working maybe if kin was a closed practice, but it was never closed to begin with and like i said, was always inclusive of all kintypes including synpaths. //shrug again

C. all religion & spirituality is man-made. It's something that can't be proven and something people believe in blindly. Ergo, delusion. Admittedly, a better term here would probably be "societal construct". But I'm not in the mood to think it through much more.

and before anyone tries to argue with me over religion & spirituality. I love anthropology, and i love the history of religion and its importance to humanity, and i know that religion has a long and complicated history, but that does not mean that i believe in it or even like it.

D. lastly, Im delusional you loser. I deserve $50 for reading that bullshit alone.

#EDIT ok tumblr ruined my formatting for this so i had to switch to alphabetical instead sorry #asks #INB4 yes i still feel a connection to kin #however like i said it isnt spiritually its psychologically #i just gave up on the community because i wanted to focus more on plural stuff #i have system members who take it suuuuper seriously

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papirfecni · 3 years

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Hello Azra!

I hope you're having a great day 😀.

Look, i don't mean no harm nor want to be hateful to you or anything you do..(but i might actually be), what i'm about to say might be mean and it's probably gonna look like a hate comment or something 😅 but i assure you, i have nothing against you 🙂.

I'm getting this out of my chest bcs i want to, and since you don't reply to your DMs or anything else i thought my last chance is to tell you anonymously..here ...tbh, bcs humans are weird 😒 .

So i was one of your followers/fans and i really liked your work, you were funny and you were entertaining in every way..you might still be (i dunno tho') i even liked your taste in music and i thought it matches mine in a weird way.. i, like any other fan thought highly of you and did anything to be noticed by you 😂 which sounds silly now that i say it.. but it's something that we all do and i'm sure you have done this yourself 😉.

I tried my best to cut you some slack bcs you are famous and i don't know your circumstances or anything about you... but at some point you had me and gave me some of your time and i thought to myself .. 'why did she? i am just as any other excited fan who did everything to be noticed.. why give 𝓂𝑒 the time?'

Don't get me wrong, i knew you were just being nice 😆... but i thought to myself 'does she do that with everyone then? voice chat, play games, share informations...? which is odd.. bcs isn't she scared of creeps and weirdo who maybe have bad intentions...'

I'm a humble one but just like a normal person i got greedy and i felt like we might be friends lol 🤣 i even start talking to some of your close friends and i wished to be as cool just to be friendly with you all (not just you...no offence) bcs for some reasons i found a lot in common between me and you all, but i was too normal and too boring for you maybe a little too nice too 🙃.

The point is, after that you started ghosting me after telling me that we would do it again (play and stuff).. you never reply.. you don't see my comments nor msgs... i know i wasn't special but i really wanted to play more and have fun while i still could at that time 😅.

I just wished you never gave me a chance to look forward to an awsome friendship with such great and fun people like yourselves...

Once again, don't get me wrong.. clearly i have issues 🙃 and if i don't adress them the proper way then they will come and bite me in the butt 😆.

What i'm trying to say here is .. as much as i liked your spirit, your humour but more importantly your 𝒜𝑅𝒯 ofc, now i don't even want to see nothing that has anything to do with you... even your name makes me cringe (the fact that my mother has the same name isn't helping -.-') and i hate that bcs i missed how despite being so invisible back then .. i enjoyed everything you did..

I wish i never made that piece of art that made you follow me which made me feel so guilty for not following you back which is the one thing that led to another until it became no fun no more...

I missed your art and it feels bad now to interact with it after you belittled me and basically made me feel like sh*t (sorry..) when you ghosted and rejected all my requests..

I wish you read this and i wish you don't hate me for being ..umm weird and mentaly disturbed obviously 😅lol despite being anonymous i feel so seen..

you are a great artist and a .. well uuh a funny person? lol (that's all i could think about 🤣) i was a fool to think that you thought of me differently and for being greedy to have more fun time with you and your friends.. so umm i hope you take my honesty as .. umm a point that needed to be ..umm adressed and not as a hate comment or ..umm a speech at this point 😬 hehe

Just a word of advice.. don't say things that you don't mean to fans no more 🤣 they will be excited and they will feel special and it will be disastrous if you don't meet their expectations haha.

Despite feeling guilty for being too honest ..maybe to the mean point, i am 𝑔𝓁𝒶𝒹 that i got that out of my chest, i am trying my best to talk about this silly subject as civilized as possible so you don't get me wrong 🤠.

Good luck with whatever you're doing in your life and i wish you all the best 😺.

P.S: drink more water instead... it's very important to stay hydrated 💧 ✌️

i wasnt gonna respond to this originally but youre getting people i dont even know involved in this fsr so.

sending me shit anonymously expressing why youre mad at me is one thing but going around and telling random people in their fucking CCs about it (and naming me too) like its a warcrime not to respond to your dms personally is really fucking weird. im an average ass person with a hobby who uploads their work online, i’m not a fucking celebrity or “famous” for this or any other reason, i sure as fuck dont have any fans and i genuinely dont understand your obsession with that concept??? why am i the one getting blamed for making you feel special for simply talking to you and being friendly when youre the one acting like i have paparazzi following me around lmao i have classes to attend and study for, i have friends irl and family that i spend time with, i have a tiny group of online close friends i talk to regularly, i eat and sleep - a day is 24 hours for me too lmao. on top of that im generally bad at responding to dms as im very introverted with a terrible memory; it’s never anything personal, i’m simply busy or just forget to text back which my friends are aware of and have no problem with. i seriously had nothing against you, you’re very sweet and talented but you don’t know me, we hung out once for an hour as friends and that was it, i’m confused as to how me not responding was such a traumatic event for you when it’s a normal thing that happens with everyone especially if you’re not close friends. if youre trying to befriend someone you should behave like it and not like youre chasing someone unreachable lol. anyway im glad you got free therapy out of this i really loved the random cursive letters you added for dramatic effect as well as the subtle drags 10/10

#hi tl its ur friendly neighborhood celebrity!!!!#pls go touch grass

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insanityconflict · 3 years

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still half awake so this might be almost entirely incomprehensible, but here’s my uhhhh 2bford headcannons??? i guess??? i dunno what to call them this’ll be like telling a wholeass story. is au the fuckin word im so tired im sorry JHSBGKAG

anyways uh if you’ve seen my previous post about this it’ll make a lot more sense but here we go ig

While i love the hell out of 2bhank, i honestly dont believe it’ll work out as a long-term thing unless hank does some big changes to his personality and respect for others. 2b wants to experience what having an actual loving loving and caring partner is like, but he knows he’s not getting anywhere with hank at all. so they break up, which hank is completely fine with, but 2b is left a little devastated and with the belief that he’s just not that important enough for anyone to actually care about.

sanford’s just dealt with the loss of deimos. it’s absolutely devastating, considering that they were probably the closest you’ll ever see anyone these days in nevada, and they were practically inseparable because of their love for each other. deimos dying felt like sanford’s entire world just ended, and he quickly was overcome with depression because he’s unable to accept it all. he swears up and down that no one can replace deimos, which to be fair, no one can replace anyone, but i think he’s more concerned about starting over with someone else for the risk of forgetting deimos existed at all.

this leaves 2b and sanford to have more to confide into when they talk, sharing their experiences and what they wish they had, and they quickly realize there’s much more in common with them then they thought. this sprouted into a lovely friendship, both of them being what the other needed in order to keep pushing on. laugh together, cry together, all your basic cliche lovey shit but it’s much more emotional considering the losses they both went through.

how or when they got together can’t be told for certain. it happened naturally, albeit slowly, but past all the healing and emotional growth, there was obvious that they were getting closer than your average friendship would go. there was no title, there was no “hey wanna be boyfriends”. i mean, how else can i put it? they were there for each other when they needed it the most, and it really paid off.

im sure 2b will remain his introverted, secluded self, but he does perk up a lot once sanford comes into the picture. he starts taking better care of himself, getting a working schedule between his job and time to himself, and he finally gets the affection and love he craved and deserved. sanford on the other hand, while still very upset over deimos, is less affected by it because he’s more focused on 2b now. its almost like he wasnt depressed at all (but that doent mean it just stopped existing, it’s very much still there), and he’s opened up a lot. he’s the more physically affectionate one while 2b sticks to his words, but it works! one wouldn’t have been able to survive without the other, and im honestly VERY surprised no one else has exploredthis concept - at least from what ive seen. i’d write something for it but, yknow, already busy with plenty other things lmao

#headcannons #2bford #madness combat

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aceofshitposts · 3 years

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Happy Valentines Day everyone!!! This wasnt actually what I initially planned and it technically... isn’t v-day themed but it DOES feature idiots in love so that’s good enough, right? No beta we die like robins okay hope you enjoy! (will probably throw this up on ao3 tomorrow too)

ALSO a reminder that you can totally send me prompts for little drabbles/ficlets!! a sentence or dialogue or just an au you think might be cool (i adore aus) or if you just wanna say hi!

Jason's not stupid. It's just that. Things can sneak up on you sometimes, okay? They all have that habit of getting lost in the details or not looking for what isn’t expected. And boy, is this not expected.

"Please," Tim is imploring in the same tone a child asks their parent for a candy bar at the grocery store checkout, "Bruce isn't even going to be there so you don't have to worry about him."

That's. Really not the problem. The problem is Jason has no idea why Tim is asking him, of all people. Not that he doesn't like hanging out with Tim, as a matter of fact he probably likes it too much. Seeking Tim out had become a bad habit, if he’s honest, that has escalated from working on cases together to eating meals after patrol and even occasionally meeting up during the day to whisk Tim away from the office for a proper lunch.

They're friends, right? But that doesn't explain why Tim is inviting him to an important social gathering and not, say, one of the Titans if he needs a second that badly. Hell, Dick or Stephanie are better choices than Jason is. Asking Jason is. Is. It’s-

It feels a little like Tim’s asking him on a date. Which is absurd for all kinds of reasons, least of which is that Tim doesn’t like Jason like that.

"Why are you asking me?"

Jason winces. That sounded harsh even to him and the way Tim’s expression goes from distinctly hurt to completely closed off has Jason cringing even more.

“Okay,” Tim says, turning towards the open window.

“Okay?” Jason repeats, already forgetting that Tim hasn’t answered his question.

“Mhmm, don’t worry about it,” he says in a tone that suggests Jason should absolutely worry about it.

With that Tim slips out the window and into the early Gotham morning, leaving Jason with an extra breakfast burrito that they’d never even got around to eating before Tim had… whatever the hell that had been. Jason stares at the open window for a moment more, the wind blowing a napkin into his face, and decides he’ll deal with it after sleeping.

“What the hell did you do??”

If the sound of Jason’s bedroom door violently hitting the wall didn’t wake Jason up then Stephanie’s indigent yelling would have done the job just fine.

“What the hell do you want?” Jason asks, then shoves a pillow over his head in the vain hopes she will go away.

“Get up!”

The covers are pulled from his body which wouldn’t be so bad if this didn’t also give Stephanie better access to punch him squarely in the stomach. Jason snarls, leaping out of bed to tackle Stephanie to the floor. They grapple around on the floor for a while, Stephanie succeeding in nailing Jason in the throat with an elbow and pinning him to the floor.

“What,” she says pointedly, “did you do to Tim??”

Jason wheezes, only half due to the pressure still on his throat. Stephanie stares down at him furiously.

“I have no idea what you mean,” Jason says hoarsely.

Stephanie’s eyes narrow.

“Well, you better figure it out because he showed up at my apartment and has spent the entire morning moping under my blankets and obsessively redesigning Redbird on his tablet.”

Stephanie gets up in one smooth motion then offers a hand to help pull Jason up from the floor. Jason rubs at his sore throat giving Stephanie an incredulous look.

“I dunno what his problem is; he asked me to some fancy dinner and I just asked why he wasn’t asking you or whatever-”

“You what?”

“What! What did I do?”

“What did you do??” Stephanie shrieks in lieu of answering the question. “You have to be joking.”

When Jason just stares at her for a good minute Stephanie’s expression breaks and she starts laughing.

“Oh my god, please tell me you got dosed with something from Ivy or took a blow to the head recently,” she wheezes through her laughter. “Oh, noo, this is too stupid.”

“If you’ve figured out whatever is going on, could you clue me in?” Jason implores which only makes Stephanie laugh harder.

“Nope!” she says, popping the P, “this is too fucking funny. You’re on your own, bro.”

Before Stephanie leaves she makes sure to steal some of Jason’s leftovers and laugh at him some more, giving a two fingered salute as she leaves through the same window Tim had earlier that morning.

Over the course of the day Jason tries to busy himself cleaning his weapons and kitchen but he just end up stewing in the echoes of Stephanie’s laughter. He’s slumped on the couch rereading the same paragraph of a random paperback he’d grabbed when around four in the afternoon he receives a text from Cass that’s just a smiley face. It’s the only warning he gets before Tim comes stumbling through his window, laptop tucked under his arm.

“Okay, so, I’m still mad at you,” Tim starts, which is great, “but I want you to watch this.”

He sets his laptop down on Jason’s coffee table and maybe Jason can finally find out what this is all about.

On Tim’s laptop screen he opens what looks like a power-point presentation, and isn’t that just incredibly Tim, with the title: “Reasons We Make A Good Couple and Shouldn’t Break Up”.

Wait-

Back up.

“Break up??” Jason asks incredulously.

Tim’s head whips around to look at Jason, the slide on the screen changing to a picture of the two of them in uniform at the local 24 hour diner, probably taken by the waitress and posted on some social media platform, Tim reaching across the table to snag a piece of Jason’s bacon. It’s got several heart emojis all over it.

“You- yes? Isn’t that?” Tim sputters suddenly turning a bright shade of red.

“To break up don’t we have to date first?” Jason asks in a rush before his brain has really caught up with the situation.

Tim gets impossibly more red, muttering, “oh my fucking god,” while slamming the laptop shut. He runs a hand through his hair, looking as nervous and off kilter as Jason currently feels.

“I’m. I’m so sorry, Jay, I thought-” Tim starts rambling, words flowing together into an incoherent string while Jason’s brain tries desperately to parse what’s happening.

Like a lightbulb finally turning on in the middle of the night, Jason understands.

“Tim. Are we dating?”

Tim stops, jaw audibly snapping shut. He looks at Jason for all of two seconds before his gaze darts away miserably, looking at the floor.

“Yes?” he ventures, sounding unsure. “I just. I assumed you wanted to take it slow.”

Jason can’t help the bark of laughter that escapes his throat.

“Do I look like I do anything slow, Babybird?”

Tim growls in frustration, throwing his hands in the air and then pointing an accusing finger at Jason.

“We go out all the time! I hang out in your apartment! But whenever I’d try to initiate something more, you’d back off! I was trying to be considerate!”

Oh holy shit. Stephanie is right, this is stupid. Jason had thought he’d been projecting his own desires onto Tim, that there was no way Tim would want to be close to him like that. Even after all this time, Tim still finds ways to surprise Jason.

“Well, this explains why Stephanie punched and then started laughing at me this morning,” Jason laughs while draping an arm over his eyes. They really were Batman’s kids if their complete inability to communicate like normal people was anything to go by.

“God, Jason, I am so sorry,” Tim says, dropping down beside Jason on the couch with an oof. “I never should have assumed anything.”

“Hey, Babybird?” Jason shuffles over so he can throw his arm over Tim’s shoulders.

Tim startles, looking at Jason with wide blue eyes.

“Shut up and let me kiss you.”

Yeah, okay, maybe sometimes Jason is stupid. But he can at least find solace in the knowledge that sometimes Tim is also. Besides that, Jason tells himself, what really matters is that they got their shit together in the end. Even if that realization is undoubtedly going to come with a large amount of their family all pointing and laughing at them for being idiots.

“So,” Tim ventures after they’ve spent half an hour making out on Jason’s couch, “does this mean you’ll come with me to the dinner?”

Jason muffles a laugh against Tim’s collarbone and says, “yeah, sure I’ll come.”

“Okay, cool, cool. We’ve got to be there in an hour then.”

#jaytim #jaytim fanfiction #timjay #jason todd #tim drake #astrix writes #they're both stupid but they're my stupid boys #once again featuring some mild pining from Jason #i meant to post this like hours ago but i kept getting distracted by like everything #hope everyone had a cool valentines day regardless of relationship status #im gonna watch shrek the musical with my best friend now

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doomednarrative · 3 years

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On the topic of listening to "Marsha, Thank You for the Dialectics" one too many times, and the idea that you might be identifying too much with your trauma and mental illness:

----

If you've followed me for any length of time on this blog, you'll probably be aware of two things about me:

A. I'm clearly mentally ill in some regard, and B. I use music to cope and work thru the issues related to my mental illness and trauma a lot.

The past four years have been both the worst and best years of my life. I ran away from an abusive home, I've gone thru two major breakups and one of them just absolutely rocked my shit for awhile, I've been consistently working thru my queer identity and figuring all of that out for myself, and the list goes on.

Finally leaving an environment that had trapped me in a cycle of traumatic experiences for years left me in a weird place. For once I was somewhere where my illness and suffering was being taken seriously and not constantly belittled and ignored, and my queerness was accepted and respected. And that felt great!

What Wasnt so great about that was the Overwhelming feelings of "oh my god I've been suffering for so long and now that i'm out of that place, I cant stop thinking about it and realizing how much its truely fucked me up and worsened my mental health" that came with everything else.

And with that overwhelm, somewhere along the line I started to identify with that suffering. I had spent so long in a place that refused to acknowledge that I was hurting at all, that now that I was in a place where I could truely express that hurt and how it affected me, I didnt want to let go of it.

This was a cycle that went on for awhile, and one that I didn't really realize I was trapped in until about March this year.

Enter Will Wood and his wonderful music.

I'd heard of him months before, already had Dr. Sunshine and Hand Me My Shovel in my spotify library. But I didn't really give him a Proper listen until Miles suggested I do so, and I fell in love almost immediately with his stuff. Underneath his music just being fun and wild to listen to, Will's music talks so openly and genuinely about deeper themes of personal identity and mortality and the current culture we live in, and so many other important things.

"Marsha, Thank You for the Dialectics" is a song about both sides of the mental health discussion and about the struggle of how everyone deals with their own personal identity in relation to their mental health treatment. Its a song that once I heard what it was really saying, it slapped me in the fucking face to say the least. I havent heard someone describe the things this song is trying to say in a way that actually made sense and summed up my feelings on the discussion so nicely ever honestly. The things Will addresses in this song are important, and its all stuff I've personally pondered on for awhile too.

Some lyrics that really stuck out to me would be these two:

"Who makes the call, whats a symptom whats a flaw, can it be both? Well I suppose thats an answer."

"Ain't your identity at stake? Does aspirin kill you with the pain?"

What a complex question, isnt it? Does treatment kill your identity, change who you are as a person? Is that a bad thing? Whats really a symptom of the mental illness and what makes it that? Do those symptoms also count as personal flaws?

What do you do when you identify too much with your illness that you feel you can't get treatment for it?

That was the real question I got stuck on for myself. Because after a lot of deeper reflection on my own behavior and thoughts towards my illness and trauma, I made a discovery I hadn't known before really thinking about what this song was saying:

I found that I was scared to be treated. I was scared of finding an identity outside of my illness. I had become so accustomed to defining a part of myself by my suffering, that i became afraid of what or who I could become without it constantly weighing me down. And thats a very heavy thing to realize about yourself, but it was a very eye opening thought for me to have.

And I dunno how much longer itd have taken me to figure out if it wasnt for this song tbh. Its just not something I wanted to think about for awhile. I became content with identifying myself by my illness, and I was resistant to seeking out treatment for fear that I wouldnt like who I'd become if I tried to treat it.

Thankfully, this is something I've been working thru more recently after having that revelation.

I don't really have some grand statement to make at the end of this. I'm really just here journalling and writing down how I feel about all of this stuff recently. But, I do think theres something to be said about how art and music can really affect people. Hell knows I've had quite a few good mental revelations about myself since listening to Wills music more recently. Its been helpful honestly.

If you take anything away from this tho, maybe it should be that its not a bad thing to examine just how much you define yourself by your illness and trauma sometimes. You might find that you're in a little too deep sometimes and want to pull yourself out.

You're more than what your illness is. And treatment for it isn't a bad thing either. I may just be learning this for myself, but I do think its true.

Just something for yall to ponder for now I suppose.

#like i said. this is just a personal journal post about some thoughts ive had recently related to wills music #lord knows I could talk more about the effect his music has had on me recently too. maybe ill do that later too.#me talking #will wood #wwatt #long post #rambling #ill put a read more on this later but im on mobile rn #okay to rb

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