#eddie was piss off in the start cause the kids makes him miss the date | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

half-bakedboy · 3 years

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Pairing: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz Rated: General Summary: “I’ve recently found myself with a lot of time on my hands and since you don’t seem to have enough to romance someone,” Buck began, settling his drink on the table, “I think it only makes sense for someone to romance you.”

Eddie huffed out a laugh and shot back, “Yeah, and how are you going to find someone willing to put in that effort?”

“Oh, you’re lookin’ at him.”

Or... Eddie gets the romance he deserves in the form of fluff-filled dates with Buck.

For @911fluffweek - day one: Birthday or anniversary // First hug

(read chapter one on ao3)

There was no reason for Eddie to be so nervous as he stood in front of his coworker’s doorstep. He was attending a child’s birthday party with his son and the team he was growing to trust, so the white-knuckled grip he had on the present Carla had carefully wrapped for him was frankly unnecessary, to say the least. He had spent years as an army medic, getting shot at and ambushed at every turn, and for some reason, the prospect of gathering with his new team’s families was the thing that had his heart racing.

“You have to knock on the door, dad,” Christopher whispered, nudging his shoulder into Eddie’s hip as a teasing grin spread across his lips. Eddie ruffled his hair and rolled his eyes fondly before raising his hand with every intent to knock. Christopher was apparently done with his dad’s hesitation because a knock echoed in the entry and Eddie almost dropped the gift in his hands.

“What would I do without you, kid?” Eddie asked, resting his hand on Christopher’s shoulder if only to make sure he stayed standing.

“We probably would have stood out here forever,” Christopher groaned. Before Eddie could chastise him for his sassy nature, the door flew open and Eddie’s nerves increased tenfold at the sight in front of him.

Staring at him were baby blue eyes that Eddie thought he could get lost in attached to the most stunning man Eddie had ever seen—and he had seen a lot of men. Eddie had to look away to contain his anxiety, but everywhere he glanced was just another reminder kick right to the gut. The man had a smile that blinded like the sun, muscled shoulders and arms that bulged his patterned shirt, and a chest that pulled at the buttons spread down it. Suddenly, Eddie’s black t-shirt and jeans seemed too casual and he felt more inferior than he had ever felt in his life.

“I’m Christopher!” His son shouted, pushing forward when it was clear Eddie wasn’t going anywhere.

“Right, shit, I— Eddie. I’m Eddie. I work with Chimney?” He offered when the man’s eyebrows pulled together in confusion. Christopher had already made his way into the living room where the party had seemingly already started and the loud cheers of his name had the man letting up and opening the door wider for the stranger.

“Buck,” he said, offering his hand when Eddie took a hesitant step inside, “Maddie’s brother. I didn’t realize anyone else was coming.” The words sounded like an apology, but Eddie didn’t need one. If anything, he was considering shouting out his own because he couldn’t stop his eyes from clearly checking the guy out with each passing moment.

“I wasn’t supposed to come,” Eddie explained and Buck raised his eyebrows. Eddie realized how that might have sounded and held up his hands in defense, almost dropping the present if it wasn’t for Buck’s quick reactions. He grabbed it and settled it on the table with the rest of the wrapped gifts before crossing his arms over his chest and staring at Eddie expectantly.

“You know, Captain Nash’s wife is a cop,” Buck offered and Eddie rolled his eyes with a laugh.

“I was supposed to be covering Hen’s shift so she could come, but someone else took care of it so that I could be here,” Eddie finished as Buck led him to the living room.

“And thank god for that! Diaz, your kid is a million times cooler than you!” Chimney yelled, high-fiving Christopher who was giggling ecstatically from where he was smushed between Maddie and Bobby.

“He knows,” Christopher responded. Eddie let out a loud laugh and shook his head, holding up his hands in a shrug because he couldn’t argue with that. His kid was perfect and there was no way Eddie could match it.

Eddie made his way around the room, greeting his team with large smiles, gentle hugs, and friendly kisses on the cheek. He had missed the warm feeling that settled high in his chest, his body light and airy and his mind clear of all of the nerves that had reverberated through it the entirety of the morning. Everyone in that room was family and they had welcomed Eddie and Christopher with open arms.

Karen had offered to make him a plate of food while Bobby gestured toward the mini-fridge where he kept seltzer water and sodas. Maddie immediately pressed the baby into his arms so he could cuddle her and settle down like the rest of them had. Chimney and Hen teased him for being so damn awkward all while Christopher watched on with the widest smile on his face. It was too much for Eddie, so after a bit of time, he stood back and watched from a table on the outskirts of the party as they continued with their joy. Eddie had always been content with that.

He didn’t realize he had company until Buck’s voice chimed next to him, “You don’t look old enough to have a kid his age.” He held out a drink to Eddie who eyed it suspiciously until Buck explained, “Iced tea. Maddie has made the best ever since we were kids.” Eddie took it and downed a few sips, practically moaning at how delicious it was, only to be interrupted by Buck’s soft chuckle. “So, you have a kid.”

“I do,” Eddie agreed, smiling widely at his son who held Jee-Yun in his arms delicately with Maddie’s hands hovering over the two of them as any mom would do.

“Wife?” Buck asked and Eddie tried not to choke on his drink. He tilted his head toward Buck who just shrugged and waited expectantly for an answer.

“Divorced,” Eddie said simply.

“Dating?” Buck popped a pretzel in his mouth, staring at the people in front of him like his interrogation was completely normal under the circumstances.

“Kid,” Eddie shot back. It was the only explanation he really had.

“Really? That’s weak,” Buck said easily. Eddie turned to him, mouth open and arms crossed over his chest. He had known the guy for maybe ten minutes and he was already insulting Eddie’s life choices? Who the hell did he think he was?

“It’s not like people are pounding down my door when my kid’s asleep in the next room,” Eddie scoffed, sipping on his drink to make sure his jaw didn’t hit the floor at Buck’s audacity.

“Hmm, people,” Buck said slowly. “Interesting choice of words.” Eddie hadn’t done it on purpose—at least consciously—but he couldn’t be mad that Buck had noticed. “That kid would charm the pants off of anyone. What else?” Buck poked at the gaping holes in the excuse and Eddie wasn’t so sure he liked how easily Buck could already read him.

“I don’t really have time to romance someone,” Eddie said. He gestured to his team before glancing back at Buck. “Maddie and Chim have their kid, Bobby and Athena barely get time alone together cause of their long shifts, Hen and Karen are busy with fostering. It wouldn’t be fair to them or anyone that might be interested to always have me with one foot out the door,” Eddie explained before stopping himself and whirling on Buck. “Why am I telling you this? You have some kind of magic power for pulling information or something?”

Buck laughed just as Maddie walked up to them, Jee-Yun cradled in her arms. “I see you’ve not only met Eddie but have already pissed him off,” she noted and Eddie blushed, shaking his head to make sure she knew he wasn’t actually mad.

“We’re fast friends, Mads,” Buck said, tossing an arm around Eddie’s shoulder and pulling him tight into his side. The blush on Eddie’s cheeks darkened considerably.

“A few psychology classes and this guy thinks he can analyze everyone in our lives. And yes,” Maddie said before Eddie could correct her, “that means you, too, Diaz. I’m really glad you could come.” She pulled Eddie into a gentle hug and patted his cheek when she pulled away. “Don’t let this one scare you off. He’s as harmless as he is good looking.”

“You are way too good for my ego, sis,” Buck said fondly, kissing her cheek as she refilled her drink and walked back to the group. “But she’s right. I’m harmless.”

“And really good looking,” Eddie added and for the first time in their conversation, it was Buck who was struck speechless. Just as quickly as it happened, Buck’s grin spread across his lips and he leaned back against the table with a few nods of his head, looking quite impressed if Eddie had to guess.

“Alright, Diaz, I’ll tell you what,” Buck offered as Maddie and Chimney started on the presents for their daughter. Eddie and Buck watched from afar, too lost in their own interactions to stop now and neither of them willing to leave the conversation they had started.

“What?” Eddie asked. He turned to Buck when he noticed the man staring over at him and raised his eyebrows. Buck intrigued him and it had been a really long time since anyone had done that.

“I’ve recently found myself with a lot of time on my hands and since you don’t seem to have enough to romance someone,” Buck began, settling his drink on the table, “I think it only makes sense for someone to romance you.”

Eddie huffed out a laugh and shot back, “Yeah, and how are you going to find someone willing to put in that effort?”

“Oh, you’re lookin’ at him.” Eddie choked on his drink again, sputtering uselessly as the rest of his team glanced over with a mixture of worry and expectancy in their eyes. He waved them back to what they were doing and wiped at his mouth with his sleeve, pointedly ignoring the way Buck had started to rub his back comfortingly.

“And why would you do that?” Eddie asked because he had to. Buck was beautiful, one of the most gorgeous men Eddie had ever laid eyes on, and there was no way he was going to let someone that perfect in when Eddie was sure he would fall in love.

“Because you deserve it,” Buck shrugged, leaning into Eddie’s eye line as he continued, “and because I’m going to get you to spend more time with me either way. Might as well make it interesting.” With that, Buck joined the rest of the team, taking the empty spot next to Christopher and tossing his arm around Eddie’s son’s shoulders. Christopher was instantly enamored and Eddie wondered who was more in trouble; him or his son.

All in all, Eddie wasn’t sure why he had been so nervous at the beginning of the day. He filled the next few hours with easy conversation, learning more about his team and their loved ones than he ever would have during a shift, and got to watch his son charm every single person in the room. He and Denny got on like wildfire and there were already promises of playdates being made as everyone helped Maddie and Chimney clean up the place.

He had expected someone to stop him from helping, but no one did, and his heart grew a few sizes larger because he knew what that meant. They were a family at the one-eighteen. That’s what Bobby had said during his interview. Eddie had responded in truth, telling him that he had left the family he had behind in Texas, and that he wasn’t looking for another, but that he would work his ass off every day to prove he was meant to be there anyway. Eddie should’ve known that Bobby would take that as a challenge.

Without even trying, Eddie was in over his damn head. He was already accepted into their family with each disposable dish he grabbed from the table and each napkin he used to wipe down the ringed surfaces. There was no escaping the closeness of them even if he tried.

Then he hugged Buck at the end of the night and realized that he didn’t want to try. If it meant that he was held so tightly he feared letting go and that his son would continue to wobble on his feet with sheer exhaustion from the fun he had throughout the day, Eddie would let whatever was happening happen. Which apparently included giving Buck his number with the promise of romance.

Oh boy, Eddie thought happily, he was definitely in over his damn head.

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911fluffweek #buck x eddie #eddie x buck #cant believe ive bamboozled myself into posting every day this week #oooops #911 #911 on fox #911 fic #buddie fic #my writing

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kitkatt0430 · 3 years

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So I saw a gifset from the episode Power Outage that reminded me that in season one - and presumably season two - Ralph Dibny is actually dead. He died because of the accelerator explosion in December 2013, but presumably due to Flashpoint he's alive by the time season four rolls around. (So he's actually alive in season three.)

In the show, the only two people who might have realized that Ralph being alive is a product of Flashpoint are Barry (because he lived in that pre-Flashpoint timeline) and Cisco (because Vibe powers). But neither of them mention it, so I guess we'll never know for sure that his survival isn't actually down to the Legends meddling with time (like the Scooby-Doo gang, but with a significantly cooler ride - sorry, not sorry, Mystery Machine).

Anyway, all of this has reminded me of a fanfic idea I've had in the back of my head for a while.

So it'd start with Barry's return from the Speed Force at the start of season four. Iris and Eddie are married and various other changes abound as i see fit. Barry comes back still massively out of touch with reality and writing in the speedster glyphs and Wally gets help from Jesse to defeat the Samuroid bot. Also Wally isn't Kid Flash anymore - he has taken on the mantle of the Flash in his own right.

Barry starts recovering slowly, but as he does his understanding of the glyphs he's writing with wanes... even though he keeps doodling them all over the place. He winds up quitting his job at the CCPD because he's just... not in a place where he can hold down a job right now. He's also not 100% sure anything is real and that he's not still stuck in the Speed Force and he's reluctant to seek out therapy because of his experiences with therapists as a child were not good and also he'd need to discuss being the Flash which... not happening.

Which is when the bus metas start showing up (out of show order). Wally gets the indignity of the marble-related pratfall and accidentally meta-cuffing himself. Barry starts to gain more confidence in himself and his reality when he's able to shut down the accelerator before it goes critical, moments before Wally successfully cuffs Hazard. (Presumably the accelerator actually exploding would have been very unlucky for Becky, so something would have to make it shut back down, right?)

Linda returns leading to relationship drama for Wally and Jesse. Wally finds Linda attractive but would never cheat (also Linda's really only aware of him as Iris' younger brother right now), which Jesse knows but she feels jealous anyway and she doesn't like what that says about herself. She also feels like she's stretching herself really thin trying to protect Earth-2, act as Jay's back-up on Earth-3 (because he's starting to slow down and is still looking for an apprentice, but hasn't told anyone on Earth-1 what's happening to him yet), and both date and help Wally on Earth-1. It's too much work and too much stress and too much running between different Earths. She eventually decides that, much as she cares about Wally, their relationship isn't really what she needs right now and they part ways. A hopefully more satisfying break up than what we got on the show with that cube thing. Also the thing with Kilg%re happens.

Barry realizes - using Cisco's translation program - that he keeps writing something about a bus in the speedster glyph doodles. (Cisco's translation program is incomplete.) OG Team Flash connects Becky and Ramsey back to Bus 405, which Barry... er... Flashed the day he returned from the Speed Force. (hehehehehe) They're able to identify Ralph and a few other people who were on the bus because their bus passes were logged on boarding. It's still not clear who was on the bus at the time Barry Flashed it (*snicker* i regret nothing). But Ralph had to be because, well, he boarded the bus the stop right before the Barry accidentally acted like an EMP on the bus' electronic systems.

And Barry's issues with parsing reality are triggered because he remembers two versions of Ralph thanks to time traveling and memory integration - let's just say that Barry has memories of both pre and post Flashpoint timelines and say the story would theoretically handwave it better than I'm prepared to do right now. So Barry remembers this version of Ralph, who faked evidence and was a dick to Barry (almost misspelled that as being a duck to Barry). But he also remembers another version of Ralph, who didn't fake evidence and was Barry's friend and died in a car accident trying to reach the hospital after finding out Barry'd been struck by lightning while Ralph was at home and off duty and should have been safe. (Hello Barry's guilt complex which no one actually missed.)

Barry's memories are a tangled mess (gee, thanks Speed Force), so Caitlin goes with Barry and Joe when they meet Ralph. And Ralph's knee jerk reaction to keep them at arms length - especially as he's concerned they're crooked, which isn't that ironic from his PoV - is to combine obnoxiousness with sarcasm and pepper in some misogynistic comments that piss off Caitlin enough that Frost pops out to play. Joe clearly freaks out and tries to pretend he isn't freaking out. Barry just... goes with it. Whatever, Frost is part of Caitlin and Caitlin is part of Frost and he doesn't have the time, inclination, or the survival instinct to go "enemy sighted, begin defensive measures". He's just kind of like "hey Frost, nice to see you again, I've been hoping to talk w/you, but can it wait until we're done with Ralph? Or is Caitlin not gonna give you enough time for that? 'Cause I guess we're basically done here anyway."

Meanwhile Ralph is quietly freaking out with a blank O_O expression. Because Killer Frost. KILLER FROST. His fight or flight instincts are weighted heavily to freeze in place and hope to spontaneously blend into the environment.

Which is when the mob guys show up and Barry just kind of starts laughing upon learning that this version of Ralph is basically living a crime noir plot because the other Ralph loved that genre so much. Something triggers Ralph's powers while Frost cheerfully freezes the bad guys shoes to the floor and Joe arrests them. Ralph insists he was never blackmailing anyone, and Barry and Frost wind up taking him to STAR Labs while Joe waits for Eddie to show up to help him take in the thugs.

Barry and Frost do end up talking - Cisco side-eying them hard even as he gets Ralph settled in to wait for Caitlin to come back. And Barry apologizes to Frost. For how the team treated her and how Savitar treated her and just... everything. He'd like to hope they'd have handled the situation better if they'd understood Frost was a separate personality entirely, but the truth is they fucked up and pushed Frost into the position of thinking turning to Savitar was her only choice. And he hopes that she'll give them a chance to do better by her this time. Frost says she'll think about it and pretends she's not tearing up as she lets Caitlin take back over.

that's kind of where my ideas dry up and I'm not really ready to tackle writing any of this as an actual fic yet, but... I kind of saw this as a series that would include my headcanon for Ralph being face blind and him eventually bonding with Barry over the similarities between Ralph's struggle with accepting his disability and Barry's struggle in acclimatizing to his own post Speed Force incarceration disability, but with the adding drama of Barry's friendship with the Ralph-who-died and his guilt there complicating things too.

Barry would eventually take up the mantle of the Flash again with Rip showing up shortly after to borrow Wally for the Legends, though I've got no idea how that would play out. And Julian's still in there somewhere since he's still the CCPD's CSI even though Barry's had to quit. I imagine Ralph and Julian would very much not get along. (Julian and Eddie, though... they would definitely get along.)

#the flash #unfinished story idea #alternate season four story idea #as for where harry is in all of this... um... yeah i have no idea #he's there though #the speedster glyphs would wind up being important for helping them defeat DeVoe somehow #like... barry's blocking a lot of his traumatic speed force experience out but it's still in his subconscious #so there'd be him starting to remember and dealing with all of that

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eddieeatsass · 4 years

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Put Your Hand in Mine

Summary: "It had been two years since he'd first kissed Eddie, and Richie was still unequivocally in love with him. He'd deluded himself into believing that his crush on Eddie would fade as time passed, that the memory of those soft lips would stop plaguing his dreams. But it only got worse as they grew, and as Eddie continued to shine brighter than the fucking sun. So sue him, he was head over heels." Pairing: Reddie Rating: T Read on AO3

It had been two years since he'd first kissed Eddie, and Richie was still unequivocally in love with him.

He'd deluded himself into believing that his crush on Eddie would fade as time passed, that the memory of those soft lips would stop plaguing his dreams. But it only got worse as they grew, and as Eddie continued to shine brighter than the fucking sun.

So sue him, he was head over heels.

Eddie seemed as oblivious as ever, and Richie had never been more thankful for anything in his life. Richie could get away with pining as openly as he wanted, and Eddie remained none the wiser.

He'd settled into comfort knowing Eddie was blissfully unaware of the way Richie felt about him. In fact, he preferred it that way. If Eddie found out, they'd have to have a conversation that would undoubtedly lead to Richie dying right there on the spot. So, Richie would much rather just pine from afar and avoid that whole situation.

Eddie's obliviousness is exactly why Richie felt so secure in asking Eddie to the movies that weekend. It had been a while since they'd done something just the two of them, and even though the one on one hangouts caused butterflies to scatter about Richie's stomach, he still longed for the moments he got to savor between just the two of then

Richie sometimes let himself indulge in the delusion that they were doing these things together as a couple, that when they sat together in the dark theater, Richie could reach over and intertwine their fingers. That he could feed him popcorn and then kiss those buttery lips when no one was looking. It was embarrassing really, that Richie would spend their time together pretending it was a date while Eddie simply enjoyed his time with a friend, but Richie allowed himself these small vices.

That vice, however, was a lot harder to reign in when Eddie showed up looking far more put together than what was strictly necessary for the movies. He was wearing a brand-new button down that Richie didn't recognize, and his hair seemed freshly cut. Richie just about lost his ability to function, fighting against everything just to keep from reaching out and grabbing Eddie by the waist, allowing the line between reality and his fantasy to merge.

"Hey Rich!" Eddie greeted him with that sunny smile that made Richie's world spin on its axis. Richie thanked the gods that he was leaning against a wall for support he hadn't realized would come in handy.

"Wow Eds, looking mighty fancy for a showing of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles." Richie commented, hoping he'd been able to school his tone enough not to reveal his current state.

Eddie shrugged, looking down at himself as if to assess Richie's claim.

"I know you're used to wearing the same three shirts on repeat, but normal people actually buy new clothes every once in a while." Eddie teased.

"Touché."

"Got the tickets?" Eddie asked.

Richie's legs stopped threatening to give out beneath him for long enough to push himself off the wall and begin making his way towards the theater entrance. He held up two tickets over his shoulder in response.

"Don't say I never treat ya, kid."

Really, Richie owed Eddie money from the last time they'd gone out, so it wasn't like he was paying for Eddie exactly. If he'd given the money straight to Eddie, it would have gone towards the ticket anyway, but this way Richie got to continue the charade in his head of being the doting date to one Eddie Kaspbrak.

They stopped for popcorn on the way to their theater room. Richie got M&Ms for Eddie because be knew he liked to dump them into the popcorn, and Eddie got an extra water because be knew Richie always got thirsty halfway through the popcorn bag. With their arms full and goofy smiles carrying them down the hall, they made their way to their seats.

Richie had almost digested all the butterflies that had made their home in his stomach. There were still a few that would flutter when Eddie looked at him a certain way, or when their fingers would brush as they passed the popcorn back and forth, but Richie was feeling much more capable of taming his betraying body than he was ten minutes ago.

The previews came and went, lighting up the theater with promises of future movies that Eddie and Richie would dedicate themselves to seeing. Every time Eddie would lean over and whisper a little ‘we need to see that’, Richie’s heart would flutter at the thought of being able to do this all over again.

When the movie finally started, they sank down into their seats and turned their full attention to the screen. It was a welcome distraction for Richie, and he let himself be fully pulled into the show unfolding before them.

It was about 45 minutes into the movie when things changed. Their popcorn had long been finished, the bag sitting empty at their feet, and Richie was on his second water bottle (thank you Eddie). A fight was unfolding on screen, a battle between the ninja turtles and a new villain Richie didn’t recognize from the comics. He was so invested in the story that he almost didn’t realize when Eddie snaked his hand into Richie’s, which laid across their shared armrest with accidental invitation.

Richie jolted in his seat, having to physically hold back from letting out a noise that would probably get them kicked out. His head spun to regard Eddie whose head was still engrossed with whatever was happening in front of them.

Richie’s body felt like it was shutting down, stopping all executive functions in favor of rerouting his energy to the part of his brain that was trying to figure out what the fuck was happening.

The most logical reason Richie was able to come up with was that Eddie was a little shit.

Eddie always berated Richie for taking up the entire arm rest to himself every time they went to the movies, so this was probably his way of teaching Richie a lesson. He could almost hear Eddie’s voice saying ‘Well, I wouldn’t have to do this if somebody had learned the concept of sharing in kindergarten’.

Richie decided then that if Eddie was going to be petty, then so was he. He would hold Eddie’s hand until it got sweaty and unbearable.

It never got sweaty and unbearable. In fact, the longer they held hands, the more Richie sank into the comfort it offered him. By the time the credits were rolling, it felt like second nature. Of course they were holding hands, this was Eddie and Richie loved him and therefore he held his hand.

That’s when the realization hit Richie like a freight train. He’d allowed himself to be consumed by his daydream, convinced himself that they were on a date and Eddie loved him back and unicorns existed.

Richie suddenly felt sick to his stomach.

“I gotta go take a piss.” Richie muttered, shooting up from his seat and speed walking out the door.

His hand tingled, still warm from the heat of Eddie’s. Richie shook it violently as if he could wick off his feelings like water.

Richie took twice as long as he needed to in the washroom, dreading what was to come when he left the safety of his stall. He practiced what he was going to say to Eddie enough times that he was sure the entire male population at the theater had heard him, but he still found himself speechless when he walked out of the bathroom to see Eddie waiting for him.

“Hey.” Eddie smiled encouragingly.

“Hey.” Richie answered, mouth flapping open and shut like a fish out of water.

“So, if you want, uh, we can just forget that ever happened.” Eddie blurted suddenly.

“Do… you want to pretend it never happened?” Richie asked cautiously, trying to read Eddie’s expression.

Eddie took a moment before shaking his head. It was such a small movement Richie might have missed it if he hadn’t been observing Eddie so closely.

“It’s fine, Eds.” Richie continued nervously. “I’m no stranger to taking the joke too far. And now I’ve learned my lesson, I promise to never hog the arm rest ever again.”

Eddie’s face contorted in confusion, causing Richie’s to mimic the same.

“Wait, what are you talking about?”

Richie stared at Eddie calculatingly.

“…What are you talking about?”

“Richie.” Eddie sighed, but there was a hint of amusement in his eyes. “What is going on in your head right now.”

“Uhhhhh, you held my hand because you wanted the arm rest.” Richie babbled dumbly.

Eddie continued to stare at him, that same amusement now accompanied by a smug little smile.

“And does that make sense?” Eddie’s tone was teasing.

“What other explanation is there?”

“That maybe…” Eddie’s hand reached forward, brushing against Richie’s delicately. “I just wanted to hold your hand.”

“That’s even less logical than my reasoning.” Richie countered with an exhausted huff.

“Why?”

Eddie’s face was completely open, but there was something vulnerable there too. Something Richie hadn’t seen in a long time, not since-

“Eds… are you… gay?” Richie made sure to ask in a hush, leaning closer to Eddie so those around them couldn’t overhear.

Eddie leaned in as well, closing the space between them until there was only a breath between their lips. Flashes of the first time they kissed clouded Richie’s thoughts. Eddie had grown so much since then, filled out into a body that harnessed all his allure in the perfect package. Richie wanted to know what it would be like to kiss him now.

“Are you?” Eddie whispered.

Richie gulped, nodding even though he had a feeling Eddie already knew the answer. In fact, it was seeming more and more likely that Eddie was privy to much more than Richie’d thought he was, and that realization was terrifying.

“Good, I’m glad we have that settled.” Eddie stated in an almost business-like fashion. Richie almost cracked a smile. "Hopefully our second date goes better than this one has."

Richie’s entire face went blank.

"THIS WAS A DATE?!" Richie shouted, earning a shush from Eddie through unrestrained giggles.

"Come on, Rich, I'm not completely oblivious. I knew you were asking me on a non-official-date date. I've known you for years, I know your tells."

"What tells? I have tells!?"

Before Richie could get an answer, Eddie was joining their hands once again, this time dragging Richie behind him towards the theater exit.

"What tells, Eddie?!"

Eddie simply looked over his shoulder, all innocent eyes and bashful smile. He seemed determined to keep his secrets for now, and to Richie's surprise, he didn't care all that much.

Because Richie was holding Eddie's hand, and it was infinitely better than that silly kiss had been all those years ago. This signified something, it was the start of Richie’s fantasies bleeding into reality, tangible in the way Eddie’s hand slotted perfectly into his.

#reddie week 2020 #reddieweek2020 #reddie fanfic #reddie fanfiction #reddie fic #reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #reddie fluff #my writing #my posts

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ghostnebula · 4 years

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Sincere and Dignified

“Eddie's twenty-first birthday + The entire Losers' Club + Las Vegas + Being in love with your best friend = Well, exactly what you'd expect.”

[read it on Ao3]

(or here)

Eddie’s birthday is in November. Which makes him the youngest member of the Losers’ Club. Which makes him the last Loser to turn twenty-one.

Which means they go all-out to celebrate, since it’s the first time they can all (legally) celebrate together. And because they’ve kind of forgone “proper” twenty-first birthday festivities for everyone else, so no one would ever feel left out. Finally, no one needs to be left out of it.

They’ve all been living together for over three years now, they’re all getting close to graduating from college, and they all saved up for this one, because this is pretty much it. The last big, fun, tangible milestone in their young lives. The last “new” thing they’re earning the right to do (legally) after driving and voting. You bet your ass they go ham on Eddie’s birthday plans.

That’s how they end up in Vegas. Several long weeks of planning, lots of money they scraped together into jars over the last few years ready to be spent, checking and double-checking every class syllabus to make sure no one misses anything important on Friday (they have to be at their hotel in time for check-in or, between Stan and Eddie, someone will pitch a fit). Then they’re all piling into Ben’s station wagon with as little luggage as they could manage to bring for a weekend trip (the station wagon is “spacious”; it is not a fucking miracle vehicle).

Roughly ten hours later (five hours for driving, two for check-in plus cramming all their crap into the motel room and then attempting to organize it, one for figuring out and agreeing on where to even start with the partying, two more for getting ready) Eddie Kaspbrak has his first legal drink as a proper twenty-one year old, on this night of November third, and there’s no aftertaste of guilt like usual. He’s got Richie pushing shots into his hands, Mike making sure he’s eating some snacks once in a while so he doesn’t get too trashed too fast, Bev directing bartenders to make the most delicious fucking drinks he thinks he’ll ever taste in his life (Porn Stars, or something else inappropriate like that).

He has Bill, the oldest, practically under oath to stay sober (at least for tonight) so there’s one semi-coherent Loser present to keep the rest of them safe and sane until he can drag them all back to the motel.

He has a wad of cash in his pocket, a chunk of his savings from the past year, ready to blow on booze and gambling and whatever the fuck he wants, because it’s his birthday, so he’s allowed to do whatever the fuck he wants.

It’s safe, and more importantly, it’s legal, and most importantly, it’s Vegas. He never thought he’d ever have the balls to set foot in a place like this -- the kind of place his mother would demonize when he was a kid. Drinking, before he left Derry and his mom and the vice grip she had on his life, was completely out of the question, let alone getting hammered in a casino in Sin City, of all fucking places, under the care of the “evil little shits” he calls his best friends.

He more than lets loose. He lets twenty-one years of virtually non-stop anxiety unwind in one night.

When he wakes up the next morning, hung over for the first time in his life, it’s almost worth it. Bill’s the only motherfucker awake already, being that he’s the only one who doesn’t have several bottles of vodka et al. to sleep off, and he’s draped across the ratty arm chair in their ratty motel room, channel-surfing with the television volume as low as it can get. The light burns Eddie’s eyes, still, when he lifts his head and -- instead of turning, his head just kind of lolls on his shoulders until he can look at Bill properly.

He wants to ask him to end his suffering, which he can only assume he has yet to see the worst of. Suddenly he understands why aspirin exists. He wants Bill to pump him full of painkillers until he stops feeling like he’s made of electrified cotton. Instead, he says, articulately, “Guh.”

Bill turns his attention from Scooby-Doo to where Eddie is half-lying, trapped under the weight of Richie’s arm and half his chest. Richie is snoring away, glasses askew on his face, a cooling puddle of drool soaking Eddie’s shoulder. It’s gross, but he can’t really complain at this point. He’s accustomed to it by now.

“Ah, he lives.”

“Ugh,” says Eddie.

“I bet,” says Bill. “So, do you want a recap of the events of last night, or did you keep your promise and remember every life-altering decision you chose to make?”

Bill’s voice, which he’s hardly putting much effort into keeping down -- owing to the fact that all his effort is being channeled into trying not to laugh, and Eddie can’t even begin to fathom what’s so funny -- is causing the other Losers to stir. His splitting headache doesn’t want him to try to figure out what’s funny. He must have fried a metric shitload of braincells with all those Porn Stars last night, or whatever the fuck sugary booze Bev was pouring down his throat before everything went hazy.

“Life-altering?” he repeats after a few moments, as Richie’s arm finally stops crushing him. It’s the only word that really stands out to him in the jumbled mess of hangover discomfort his brain is fighting, and it should cause him anxiety but he’s more worried, right now, about drinking some water. Richie sits up beside him, yawning.

Bill hums. He looks terribly pleased with himself, which can be good or bad depending which side of the story you’re on, and Eddie’s got this sneaking suspicion he’s on the wrong side, here. “Yeah, that life-altering thing I tried to talk you two dipshits out of for longer than the actual ceremony took?”

“Ceremony?” Eddie asks, trying to feel back through his poor, poor brain to remember anything after slot machines and vibrant chatter and deceptively sweet beverages being passed to him. Richie’s head drops onto his shoulder as his arms wrap around Eddie’s waist. “Guh,” he says into the fabric of Eddie’s rumpled shirt. Habitually, Eddie reaches up to pat him consolingly on the head. Richie’s not one for mornings.

“Why don’t you take a look at your ring finger, birthday boy?” Bill says, but Eddie’s already frozen, because there was a flash when he raised his hand and he’s not entirely sure he’s believing what he’s seeing, and where the fuck did he even get the ring anyway, let alone a ring as nice as this? “Or, sorry, I should say: Mr. Tozier?”

Eddie... mostly ignores him, in favour of smacking Richie a few times on the skull to get his attention, hangovers be damned. “Richie,” he hisses, heart going a mile a minute. “The fuck did I do?”

Richie grumbles some kind of complaint, lifting his head from its safe space on Eddie’s shoulder, and when he follows Eddie’s gaze he lets out a kind of... laugh? More of a squawk, really. His left arm jerks off of Eddie’s waist lightning-quick, and then he’s holding up his own hand beside Eddie’s to show off their matching rings. “Oh my god,” he says, quiet (for Richie). A little bit of tension melts out of him. Then, “I think you mean, ‘the fuck did we do?’”

“Oh my god,” Eddie squeaks, and Bill loses his battle and dissolves into peals of laughter, remote slipping out of his hands and landing somewhere on the floor. “Bill, you were supposed to be babysitting.”

It takes a while, but Bill manages to regain his composure long enough to say, “Well forgive me, but you were a man on a mission. I distinctly remember a lot of, ‘we’re practically dating anyway’ and ‘no time like the present’ and ‘Bill, if you don’t step the fuck off I’m gonna shove this ring so far up your nostril you’ll be sneezing gold until you’re ninety.’ What was I gonna do about it?”

“Oh my god,” Eddie says again, red-faced, mortified, heart still going-going-going. They aren’t dating, though, is the problem, and yeah, he’s always had this stupid little idea in his stupid little head that they might as well be, but he’s never asked, because he wasn’t sure if he should. Wasn’t sure if it was safe. Wasn’t sure if Richie wanted something proper or to just stay very, very close friends until the grave. They weren’t dating, and now they’re married, and ohJesusMaryandJoseph why did he let himself get so drunk last night?

He doesn’t expect Richie to be resentful or anything, but he’s also an anxious mess by default, and post-drunken-haze Eddie is a different, apparently less chill person than mid-drunken-haze Eddie, because he doesn’t remember having this freakout last night.

He doesn’t think that Richie will be pissed about it, necessarily, but he’s terrified that Richie’s going to want to... undo this, somehow.

He expects regret.

He doesn’t expect Richie to slide his hand against Eddie’s so that their rings clack together, letting out a soft little, “Aw,” as he does so, or to press his scratchy, stubbly face against Eddie’s cheek to plant a kiss there, or to say, just as quiet and soft as ever, “We’re married, Eds.”

“Is that okay?” Eddie asks, heart in his throat, wondering if he somehow forced Richie into this when he wasn’t in full control of his faculties.

“More than okay,” Richie says. “Is it okay with you?”

Eddie nods dumbly, staring at their rings again, wondering what the fuck possessed them to make such a rash, life-altering decision like this, yet understanding all too well that his love for Richie is too big to contain and it has to spill out in little doses like this, or it’ll probably kill him, or make him go crazy. “Yeah,” he says finally, nodding perhaps too fast. “Yeah, Richie, it’s more than okay.”

He turns in Richie’s arms to kiss him properly, apparently not for the first time, and just the action brings a couple snippets of last night’s escapades abruptly to the surface.

“$25 Weddings,” a pink neon sign outside a squat white chapel proclaims, “Sincere and Dignified.” And below that, in smaller, baby blue lettering: “Can provide: Flowers, Rings, Witnesses, Transportation, Attire...” The list goes on. It’s a wonder Eddie is coherent enough to read it, let alone comprehend it, but he’s rounding on Richie, whose arm he’s hanging off of, with the best fucking idea already leaping from his lips.

“Ffffffuck Kaspbrak,” Eddie slurs as a reluctant Bill helps him slip on a suit jacket, fiddling with the purple clip-on bowtie Richie threw over the divider at him. “Fuck Kaspbrak, right, Rich?”

“Right,” Richie says enthusiastically -- probably too enthusiastically -- from the other side of the thin wooden divider that separates their “changing rooms.”

“Fuck that name,” Eddie decides, nodding to himself. Bill takes the bowtie out of his hands with a sigh, and Eddie lifts his chin to let Bill fasten it to his shirt, grumbling all the while about how stupid they both are. “And fuck my mom.”

“Fuck your mom!” Richie shouts. There’s a beat of relative quiet, then, “Not, like, fuck your mom, obviously. Fuck... you, maybe?” And then Bev’s raucous laughter echoes through the whole room.

Eddie can’t help laughing with her, even though Bill’s insisting he stay still “so you can at least look semi-presentable for your pictures, c’mon, Eddie, this is a big moment for me, too.”

“How are you the bridezilla, here, Bill?”

“Could you please just work with me here, I swear to-- agh!” (More laughter from Bev. Stan saying something incomprehensible but loud and boisterous. Mike trying to shush them.) “I’m just trying to make sure this is actually special since you absolute buffoons refuse to just wait and do this right.” Is Bill fucking crying?

Richie’s tongue down Eddie’s throat, over and over and over: in the chapel; in a bar; in front of the bar; just before Bill drags them away from the casino they’re trying to sneak back into and instead towards the station wagon he’s doing his best to herd the Losers to; in the station wagon; in front of the motel.

Bill prying them apart with minimal assistance from a piss-drunk Ben who insists he’s “helping,” telling them once again that they are not allowed to consummate their fucking marriage in public, and especially not allowed to do it in the motel room all seven of them have to sleep in--

He hears Bev’s little “aww” behind him somewhere as he and Richie break apart, and Stan’s grief about how fucking early it is “for this shit.” Eddie can hear something like a smile in his voice, if not just plain old amusement.

“We’re married, Rich,” Eddie repeats incredulously, and Bill is saying something about their marriage license in his wallet because neither of them can be trusted, but Eddie couldn’t care less about licenses or whatever, because Richie’s smiling down at him in that way that makes his heart feel too full. And he doesn’t mean to, but a choked noise bubbles up out of him, almost a sob, maybe a laugh. Tears burn in his eyes.

But that’s alright, because Richie’s crying already, and he wraps himself bodily around Eddie, rolling them over so he’s squishing him into the mattress while he kisses all over his face and his throat until Eddie’s squealing with laughter despite his agonizing hangover. He almost feels too good to care about it now, but he’s definitely getting some water and painkillers into his system the second the weird high he’s feeling subsides.

“Okay, okay,” says Stan, standing above them suddenly, swatting at Richie’s shoulders. “You’ve had your fun. Noisy assholes. We were too drunk for proper congratulations last night. Move over.”

All the Losers squeeze themselves onto the queen bed, somehow, and water bottles and aspirin get passed around. At some point Bill gets up to start the coffeemaker and comes back with (good fucking lord) their “wedding photos” in a crisp manila envelope. They’re just as gaudy as he expected. Leave it to Richie to find the ugliest possible outfit for his literal wedding.

Eddie gets hugs and shoulder-squeezes and cheek-kisses from everyone, over and over, and Bev actually cries for about ten full minutes while she holds him, then at least ten more while she holds Richie, and then Ben cries, and... well, they all end up crying all over each other, but it’s awash with joy. “We’re happy for you,” they keep saying, and Eddie’s happy for them, too. He didn’t expect to accidentally do things this way, but he has to be glad it happened.

“God,” he says a while later, shaking his head as he sips sugary coffee from the mug he and Richie are sharing (this room is meant for four people, max, not seven, and is equipped accordingly). He’s still examining a picture of Richie attempting to give him a piggy-back ride out of the chapel. Bill is visible in the background, eyes red and puffy, a wad of tissues clenched in his hand while Mike tries to console him. Eddie has been making fun of him for about half an hour now. “My mom would flip if I told her about this.” But the thought doesn’t scare him. He doesn’t get scared of her anymore. Not like he used to. Not when he’s so far away and he feels so safe with these six idiots who bring so much joy to his life.

Richie’s thumb rubs over the skin of his lower back where his hand has crept up Eddie’s shirt. “Good thing you don’t have to,” he says, and that familiar mantra of “You never have to see her again,” bleeds through, plain as ever.

Eddie hums. Passes the coffee back to him. “I know. But... I kinda want to. Just to watch her head explode,” he says with a shrug and a grin, earning a chorus of easy laughter from his friends. He stares at the ring on Richie’s finger as Richie throws back the rest of their coffee, something warm and familiar blooming brighter in his chest.

#reddie #my writing #oh look i actually found time in the chaos of my life to post this #a miracle #also a fic short enough to just post the whole thing on tumblr???#a second miracle #the losers club #cw alcohol #cw gambling #vegas wedding babey

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octoberobserver · 4 years

Note

For the kids prompts, Can you do 45 and Reddie?

Hi Nonnie! Of course, I’m happy to fill 45. Thanks so much for the ask 😊 hope you like it ♥️

45) Kisses exchanged as they move around, hitting the edges of tables or nearly tripping over things on the floor before making it to the sofa, or bed.

Fuck Fight Club and Pretty Woman too

“You wanna fill me in on why you’ve been a grade-A asshole all night, Eddie?”

Richie was pissed. More pissed than Eddie could ever remember him being.

And it was all his fault.

Not that he’d admit it

He took his time hanging up his coat, staring doggedly at it and ignoring Richie’s piercing gaze burning a hole into the side of his head.

“I don’t know what you’re—

“Oh cut the crap, Kaspbrak, you know exactly what I’m talking about,” Richie practically growled, shirking off his jacket, draping it over the couch and throwing his keys onto the coffee table instead of the key holder in the exact way he knew drove Eddie up the wall.

Eddie did in fact know what he was talking about. His sour mood had not gone unnoticed among some of Richie’s associates the entire latter half of the evening. It hung over him like a dark cloud as he grew quiet and withdrawn, excluding when he threw more than a few barbed comments at one of the particularly obnoxious attendees.

But Eddie was never the type to give in this early on in an argument. Well, unless it was against his ex-wife back when they were miserably married and he just gave her her way to avoid having to talk for long periods of time. With his best friend/roommate, though? He only dug his heels in deeper. Always had. Since the day they met in third grade.

“No Richie, I don’t know,” he replied through a clenched jaw, snatching up the keys and depositing them in the little dish by the door, where they were meant to go, “why don’t you enlighten me?”

Richie stormed into the kitchen, wrenching open the fridge door roughly and pulling out a beer, twisting the cap off and angrily guzzling it.

Eddie watched him, a spike of irritation beginning to form under his skin.

Richie’s infuriation was infectious.

“Don’t throw the—”

The words died in Eddie’s throat as he watched Richie fling the bottle cap towards the garbage can like he did most nights, despite nine times out of ten missing the shot by a mile.

The cap bounced off the lid and clinked to the floor.

Eddie saw red.

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Richie! Why do you always—”

“Were you jealous?”

Eddie blinked.

The atmosphere in the room began to shift.

Heat rushed up his neck, to his cheeks as Richie tilted his head, an unreadable expression on his face.

“Why would I be jealous?” Eddie asked, gaze lowered as he bent down to pick up the bottle cap. “You’re entitled to flirt with whoever you want.”

Richie snorted, and even though Eddie couldn’t see his face, he knew he was rolling his eyes.

“I wasn’t flirting with him, Eds. He was flirting with me.”

Eddie’s entire body tensed as he straightened up, shuffling over to the trash can and muttering over his shoulder, “Whatever. It’s not like I’m your boyfriend or something.”

He could feel Richie’s stare piercing into the back of his head as he continued, “We…we’re just best friends who get each other off, Rich. And that…that can change whenever you want.”

A beat of silence met those words.

Eddie refused to turn around.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He couldn’t decipher anything in Richie’s voice, it sounded almost robotic, but a dart of pain shot through Eddie’s chest, right under his scar anyway as he tried to prepare himself for what he had to say next.

“It means…” he began as evenly as he could, moving across the kitchen to get a glass, his back still turned, “if you wanna date, or…or fuck other dudes, or whatever…have at it. We’ll…we’ll stop this…” he waves a hand over his shoulder to where he estimated Richie was standing, “arrangement. No questions asked.”

Because if anything was obvious to Eddie after seeing him flourish tonight, it was that Richie…he deserved more. More than their little arrangement allowed. And Eddie would be damned if he held him back from that for his own selfish reasons.

Another silence followed his words. He had to turn around sometime. He knew that.

He managed to delay it just a little longer by walking over to the sink and turning on the faucet, resting his palms on the counter, hunching his shoulders, making no move to fill his glass. The rush of water almost drowned out Richie’s quiet reply, barely above a whisper.

“Do you wanna stop, Eddie?”

Hell no.

It had all begun three months earlier when Richie accidentally walked in on Eddie ‘punchin’ the upside down clown,’ as Richie so fondly called it. Their eyes had locked, Richie frozen in shock, Eddie in embarrassment. Richie could have hightailed it outta there, they could have brushed it off, marked it down as one of the hazards of being roommates and maybe, after a time, even laughed about it. Instead, Eddie had choked out Richie’s name, his cock still gripped in hand, so impossibly hard as Richie’s eyes began to lower.

They had just watched each other, breaths ragged as Eddie’s hand began to move, slowly at first, then gradually speeding up, pumping his cock hard, over and over and over, a surge of confidence flowing in him that was fuelled by Richie drinking in his every move, until his orgasm started to rake through him, causing him to cry out and begin to come all over his stomach.

That had lit a fire under Richie, he scrambling over to the bed and dropping to his knees, his giant hand covering Eddie’s, squeezing and moving in time with his jerks.

“Shit, fuck—Richie,” Eddie gasped, his voice broken as they pulled the last of orgasm from him together.

“Eds—I—can I…?”

Eddie had nodded, happy to grant him anything, whatever he could possibly want in that moment.

Turned out, what Richie had wanted was his mouth around Eddie’s dick.

Wildly, all Eddie could think as Richie’s head lowered to his lap was how Dick wants my dick.

He almost passed out when the wet heat enveloped him, hissing a little as his over-sensitive nerves tingled.

“R-Richie, oh my god,” he wheezed, his hand reaching up and clawing at his hair, pulling it tightly through his fingers.

Richie groaned, the vibration heading straight to Eddie’s cock and causing his back to arch off the bed.

It was then that Eddie realised three things.

One, the hand currently buried in Richie’s hair was covered in Eddie’s come, it smeared into his locks in a way that should have had Eddie recoiling in disgust, but instead sent a bolt of arousal through him, despite his exhaustion. Two, Richie’s mouth was ridiculously talented—the type of talented that could get a 41 year old man’s refractory period shaved significantly down—holy shit. Eddie may never call him a Trashmouth ever again after this. And three, Richie was rock hard. His erection pressing into Eddie’s side from where he kneeled along the bed.

At that revelation, Eddie’s free hand had wandered almost unbeknownst to himself, out to cup Richie through his pants, causing him to jump in surprise, his mouth pulling off Eddie’s dick with a pop that had him shivering.

They stared at one another, Eddie marvelling at Richie’s plump, crimson-stained lips that had a bead of Eddie’s come gathered in the crease of his mouth.

A beat passed where their eyes met, they on a knife-edge, the precipice of something unknown.

Then Eddie squeezed his hand a little tighter, causing Richie’s breath to hitch.

And the rest…was history.

It became a regular thing, then. Just them…tending to each other whenever they needed it. Quick hand jobs before Richie had to meet with an exec, sloppy blowjobs to celebrate Eddie’s promotion and Richie’s Netflix deal and one very memorable rim-job on the eve of Eddie’s one year ‘death-day.’

They hadn’t talked about it much. But they had unwritten rules.

One — don’t talk about Fight Club. AKA The Arrangement.™ So no spilling the beans to any of the Losers.

Two — don’t talk about Fight Club. Seriously. If the Losers found out they would be un-fucking-bearable and put a screeching halt to the most (and best) sex either of them had had in years. (Maybe ever.)

Three — no kissing. Eddie had deemed that a step over the line. Which, Richie had easily countered with, “Oh, so you can have my tongue in your ass, but not your mouth? Some logic ya got there, Eds.” But Eddie wouldn’t budge. So Pretty Woman rules it was.

And Four — no fourth base, going all the way, the whole enchilada, whatever you wanna call it.

They both agreed that that would definitely be over the line.

And so, with those firm set of rules alá Fight Club and Pretty Woman in play, Eddie and Richie made it work, it somehow slotting almost seamlessly into their daily lives, their friendship and cohabitation hardly changing at all.

Until Eddie’s green-eyed monster reared its ugly head, of course.

Except…that isn’t exactly true, is it? You were compromised from the start, asswipe.

Eddie ignored his inner-voice that sounded irritatingly like a thirteen-year-old Trashmouth as he shoved his glass under the water, letting it fill.

“That Eric guy seemed pretty into you,” he murmured, pivoting from the question as he shut off the faucet, “it would probably be a good idea to uh…call off The Arrangement if you wanted to call that number on your hand.”

He turned, then. Just in time to see Richie blink in surprise.

Yeah. Eddie had seen the exact moment the hot, young blond had reached across and playfully tugged on Richie’s hand, scrawling something onto the palm of it. It didn’t take a genius to know what.

“Eric’s a kid,” Richie snorted as Eddie’s eyes finally met his.

“He’s 29.”

“Exactly. He’s a millennial.”

“Your new fan base is made up of mostly millennials, Richie. And Gen Z’ers,” Eddie rolled his eyes, crossing the kitchen and realising in his haste that he had left his water but was too stubborn to turn back, trudging on towards the living room.

Only to have his way blocked by the garish, tuxedo T-shirt that Richie had insisted on wearing to his press junket despite Beverly desperately pleading with him no to. In compromise, she had designed him a very sexy faux-leather jacket that highlighted the breadth of his shoulders very nicely.

Not that Eddie noticed, or anything.

Liar liar pants on—

He slowly raised his gaze, eyebrows furrowing as he saw an enigmatic expression cross Richie’s face.

“That Ron guy seemed pretty into you.”

Eddie frowned.

“You mean Ross?”

“Whatever,” Richie waved a hand dismissively, his eyes bouncing around the room, “he was flirting up a storm with you at the bar.”

Eddie snorted, “Ross was just being friendly, Richie. He saw that I was on my own when you were—”

“He was flirting with you, Eddie. He couldn’t have been more obvious than if he shoved a rose between his teeth and asked you to tango.”

Eddie’s lips, the traitors, twitched at that. He cleared his throat.

“I’m pretty sure I know when someone is flirting with me, Richie.”

“Really?” Richie scoffed, the pitch of his voice climbing as he threw up his hands in exasperation, “see, I don’t think you do, Eds. Fuck, I’ve been flirting with you since 1986 and look where—”

He cut himself off abruptly, but it was too late.

Eddie watched as Richie froze, his eyes as wide as saucers behind his glasses.

His heart began to race.

“You…what? Rich—”

“Nothing, forget it,” Richie held up his hands in surrender and that’s when Eddie caught it.

The remnants of a dark smudge.

Eric’s phone number.

Or what used to be his number anyway.

Eddie’s own hands shot out before he knew what was happening, both grasping the larger hand and tugging it closer.

“Did you rub it off?”

He kept his gaze carefully trained on Richie’s palm as he heard his breath hitch.

“…maybe.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t wanna get ink poisoning—why the fuck do you think, Eddie?”

His grip tightened around Richie’s fingers as his eyes slowly lifted.

They stared at one another, the silence ringing loud in the kitchen.

“I…” Eddie floundered, desperately wracking his brain for some words to form a coherent sentence.

Don’t get your hopes up, Kaspbrak. You know how that always ends.

Richie must have taken his hesitance for a dismissal however as he heaved a heavy sigh and began pulling out of his grasp.

“Forget it, Eds, I’m tired and a little tipsy. I’m just gonna go to—”

“I was jealous.”

Richie stilled, his eyes darting back to Eddie’s, his hand still firmly in his grip.

“You were?”

Eddie heart hammered against his rib cage so hard he felt it might burst out of his chest Alien-style any second now.

What the fuck are you doing, dickwad?! This is not a part of The Arrange—

“Yeah, Richie, I was. Am. Jealous,” he swallowed the lump in his throat, squeezing Richie’s hand tight as he forced himself to continue. “I—that guy was hot and young and I’m not and—”

Richie closed the space between them, crowding Eddie back against the kitchen counter, bending his knees to catch Eddie’s eye.

“Eddie, trust me when I say this, man. You were the hottest person in that entire bar tonight.”

Eddie let out a loud snort, refusing to meet his stare.

“Yeah righ—”

Fingers clasped his scared cheek, forcing his head up.

His breath stuttered at the sheer sincerity in Richie’s eyes.

“I’m serious, Eds. I could barely take my eyes off you all night. I—all I kept thinking about was getting you home and…” he trailed off, his hand breaking from Eddie’s face to drag down his neck, chest, stomach, to finally rest, feather-light on his belt.

A bolt of arousal shot through Eddie’s abdomen.

Along with his mouth, Richie had very, very talented hands too.

But they were getting off track.

Shaking his head, Eddie forced his foggy, horny brain back online, stepping around Richie and trying to catch his breath. This was important, he couldn’t get sidelined with the promise of sex. He had known that this was a long time coming, pretty much ever since they started in the first place.

All good things must come to an end. Literally and figuratively…

“We need to call it off, Richie.”

He watched as Richie’s shoulders sagged, his entire body deflating like a balloon as he drained the last of his beer and shuffled across to the recycling, avoiding Eddie the entire way.

“Okay, Eds. If that’s what you want. Consider Fight Club disbanded.”

There was that almost robotic voice again. Completely void of emotion. So very hard to read.

“It’s…it’s not what I want,” Eddie found himself admitting before he could think better of it, “but it’s what you need, Rich. What you deserve.”

Richie whirled around suddenly, brow furrowed, eyes shining bright.

“What I deserve ? The fuck does that mean?”

Eddie sighed, not wanting to have to explain himself further but knowing he had to. Shrugging, he ran a hand through his hair, forcing himself to maintain eye-contact.

“You just…you deserve more than my dry hand-jobs and amateur blow-jobs, man. I—I know when we started this it was a way for us to blow off some steam but…you’re out and proud and deserve so much more than our arrangement. So much more than what I…”

He trailed off, eyes lowering.

“I just want what’s best for you, Rich.”

And it’s not me.

“Did it ever occur to you that I might already have what’s best for me?”

Richie didn’t sound robotic, anymore. Now he sounded downright incredulous.

“Uh—”

“No, ‘course it didn’t,” he continued, stepping closer, ducking his head to catch Eddie’s eye, “‘cause instead of asking me, you just went ahead and decided you knew what was best for me. But you’re wrong, Eds. So fucking wrong I—I don’t even know where to begin explain—”

He cut himself off, tilting his head to the ceiling as if asking the heavens for help. Which, for Richie, was really saying something.

Shit.

“Why were you jealous, Eds?”

Richie’s voice was small, now. Resigned. As if fearful of his answer.

“Was it—was it that a hot, young blond was flirting with me and not you?” he asked, tilting his head back down from the ceiling and staring straight into his soul, laser-focussed.

“Or was it that I was flirting with a hot, young blond and not you?”

Eddie’s heart leapt into his throat.

“I thought you weren’t flirting?” he gasped out, biting his bottom lip.

Richie let out an awful, humourless laugh, his eyes shining in a way that had Eddie’s stomach twisting painfully.

“Okay. Okay, Eddie,” he held up his hands again, taking several steps backwards, out towards the living room, “I hear you loud and clear. Say no more,” he paused, sounding more resigned than Eddie had ever heard him, lifting his shoulder in a one-armed shrug, “‘S like you said. We’re just best friends who get each other off. That can change whenever you want. I get it. Good night.”

Eddie watched as he turned on his heel and began walking out of the room.

“I was jealous that he was flirting with you and laughing with you and…fucking touching you when that was all I wanted to do!”

Richie stopped dead in his tracks.

Eddie scrambled forward, his mouth running away from him, “I was so fucking pissed that some hot fucking himbo got to drape himself all over you, without a care in the world as if you were free and single because—”

The rest of his sentence lodged in his throat.

He swallowed, taking a deep breath, staring at the hard line of Richie’s shoulders, his heart samba drumming in his chest.

Well, you’ve come this far, Kaspbrak.

“Because I…I want you. All the time. Not—not just since The Arrangement. Since…shit, since I was a kid. And these last few months have given me just a taste of what life would be like if I could…if I could have you. And I…I hate that it’s just made me realise that I want more. Not just hand jobs and blow jobs here and there. I wanna…I wanna flirt with you in public, and flaunt you on my arm and…and fucking kiss you goodnight and good morning and just because I feel like it. I wanna sleep next to you and fuck you and get a fucking dog with you. I want all of it. All of you.”

A horrible, heavy silence followed his words, marred only by Eddie’s gasping breath as he fought to catch it. His heart sank lower and lower with each passing beat. He couldn’t ever remember a time that Richie had gone this long without making some kind of noise, so he did what any good risk analyst would do. He started mentally making contingency plans for how he could salvage their friendship.

I’ll move out immediately. Leave the group chat for a while. It’ll be awkward, but eventually we might be able to—

“Himbo?”

Eddie gaped as Richie finally turned around, staring wide at him, a small but definite smile on his face.

“W-What?”

Richie’s smile grew bigger.

“You called Eric a himbo. I didn’t think you kept up with today’s slang, Eds,” he tilted his head, apparently amused as he started to close the distance between them.

“Really?” Eddie groused, staring at him, “that’s your response to everything I just said? What the fuck, Rich—”

Lips crashed into his, a large hand clutching his cheek and another squeezing his hip, propelling him backwards, colliding them both into the kitchen counter. Eddie let out a rough ‘Oomph!’ but there was no way in hell he was breaking this kiss. Whose dumb idea was it to enforce Pretty Woman rules anyway? To withhold oneself from a mouth as talented as Richie’s? That was just fucking martyrdom.

The kiss was feverish, desperate as they clung to one another, knocking over various knick-knacks that Richie insisted on keeping on the kitchen counters, Eddie’s tongue tracing along Richie’s bottom lip, his teeth nipping just slightly. He sighed as Richie groaned, opening his mouth and deepening the kiss, his hands raking up and down Eddie’s body as if he couldn’t decide where to rest them. Eddie buried his own hands in Richie’s hair, clutching tightly, using the leverage to do a little pushing of his own, shoving him back against the kitchen table.

Richie let himself be manhandled, stumbling backwards, almost tripping over his own feet if Eddie didn’t have a firm grip on him. The back of his legs bumped up against the table with a soft thump. Eddie’s grip left Richie’s hair to fly to his waist, tightening as he urged him up. Richie took a second to get with the program, too preoccupied with sucking on Eddie’s tongue to do much else. But eventually, he scattered the place-mats and newspaper and stress-ball from off the table and he heaved himself up, arms reaching down to clasp the back of Eddie’s legs, lifting him up with him until he was kneeling, knees either side of his hips.

The kiss broke.

Their eyes met.

Eddie’s heart skipped a beat when he saw moisture gathered behind Richie’s glasses as he stared at Eddie like he was the greatest gift he’d ever received.

“I’m in love with you, by the way,” Richie murmured, quietly but firmly, as if they were words he had long since lived with, “have been since I was twelve years old. In case that wasn’t clear.”

A little line formed between his eyebrows as he cleared his throat, “It’s—it’s okay, though. You don’t have to say it back or anything, I know it’s a lot and—”

“I’m in love with you too, dickwad. In case that wasn’t clear.”

They stared at one another, twin smiles gracing their faces before Richie leaned forward, capturing his lips once more.

This kiss was softer, slower, but god…

Eddie could feel thirty years of emotion flowing between them, as if Richie was pouring every ounce of pining, yearning, ache and love that he had ever felt for Eddie into it.

The burn of tears welled up behind his eyes as Richie’s hands clasped his cheeks, his thumb gently tracing his scar. They eventually had to break for air, but didn’t go far, their lips barely an inch apart as they heaved in breaths, until Eddie leaned forward again, pecking the tiniest of kisses against Richie’s mouth.

Fuck Fight Club and Pretty Woman rules.

Richie leaned up, returning the kiss that was more the pressing of smiles but still had Eddie’s stomach flipping with butterflies.

“God, Eds. I’ve wanted to kiss you practically my whole life.”

Eddie hummed, raking a hand through his hair and straightening his slightly askew glasses.

“I’m sorry I made you wait so long,” he sighed, resting their foreheads together, “I just…I just knew that kissing you would be too much. Would make me wish too much and hope too much and—”

“Me too,” Richie nodded, bumping their heads gently, practically going cross-eyed as he fought to keep eye contact, “you were right. I wouldn’t have coped with kissing you without constantly wanting more and hating myself for it. Even though I did anyway. Always have,” he laughed a little self-deprecatingly, “but ya know, I’m used to that.”

Eddie’s heart panged.

“Fucking Derry.”

“Fucking Derry,” Richie agreed.

“Dumb Eddie.”

“No,” Richie shook his head, leaning back to properly look at Eddie, “not dumb at all, Eds. We—that shithole fucked both of us up, right? All seven of us. So, don’t feel dumb about not picking up on my giant heartboner for you back in the day, alright? I…I did everything in my power to hide it ‘cause I was scared shitless. Homophobic clowns and Bowers, you know? And now…now we’re so fucking repressed I still marvel we managed to con ourselves into The Arrangement in the first place.”

Eddie snorted, silently agreeing until that snort turned into a groan, this one of discomfort as his knees gave a painful twinge.

“We’re too old to fool around on the kitchen table, Rich…” he breathed, his breath bouncing off Richie’s mouth, “my knees are fucking killing me.”

Richie huffed out a laugh, squeezing his hips and nudging him back down to the ground and shuffling to stand up himself.

“Fuck!” He hissed as his thigh roughly collided with the leg of one of the chairs, knocking it over with a clatter.

“As graceful as ever, Rich,” Eddie teased, reaching down to gently rub his palm along the back of Richie’s thigh, a small smirk spreading across his face.

“If you take me to bed, I can kiss it better. And other places too.”

Richie Tozier had never moved so fast in his entire life. And that included the time he was chased by a murderous space clown.

They collectively collided with no less than four pieces of furniture, one novelty-sized pencil that Richie insisted on keeping in the hallway, and tripped over a copy of Bill’s new book before they made it to bed. But that just meant there was more to kiss better.

They were allowed to do that, now. Kiss and so much more.

And all because they stopped living their lives using the ‘logic’ of two dumb ‘90s movies.

Read my other friends-with-benefits Reddie fic here

@tinyarmedtrex @reddiegays @richietoaster @and-thats-when-she-snapped

#reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #friends with benefits fic #they’re way too in love to make it work though #my fanfiction #hope nonnie enjoys

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strangest-loser · 4 years

Text

IT Rewrite

Stay With Me ( And You Can Dream Forever) - Chapter Two

Chapter One //

MASTERLIST

Trigger Warnings: underage drinking, unhealthy relationships, smoking, drugs

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June 1899

~RING~

Rhiannon was the last one out of the classroom after bidding Mr. Castello a happy summer, one thing she wasn’t going to miss was Monday morning French class. Speed walking down the hall she could see Henry and his friends lined up against the wall jeering at kids who stalked past. Ducking under the arm of Stanley Uris (and ignoring the strange looks that her brother and his friends gave her) she pulled herself into the bathroom, she definitely wasn’t hiding from her ‘boyfriend’ and his pack of goons, why would you say that. The overwhelming, annoying screech of pig-faced Greta Keene hit her like a train and before she could even take stock of the situation wet garbage splashed the bottom of her boots from underneath a stall. “Fuck sake Gretta, do your parents really hate you that much that you need to take it out on innocent girls? or is it all that internalized homophobia that makes you stalk them in the bathroom?” she snarked out watching the girl pale before stomping out with her posse, any other girl would have gotten a beating after saying that but no one in their right mind would stand up against Rhiannon considering that she was dating Henry Bowers. Not because she was actually into him, god no!, but he gets her alcohol and cigarettes and as long as she looks pretty and keeps quiet he doesn’t get violent. Its sad but its the easiest way for Rhiannon to forget about what happened to Georgie, vodka is cheap and it takes the pain away, plus it let her try and loosen the noose around Bill and his friends.

The stall door that was spewing garbage opened up to reveal Beverly Marsh, the pretty redhead in Rhiannon’s english class. “Greta is a bitch, are you ok Beverly?” she asked pulling off her flannel and wetting the corner in the sink and helping the poor girl clean up. She didn’t miss the incredulous look on the girls face, *Why is ‘Bowers Girl’ helping me* spread across her features but the girl went along with it. Soon enough Beverly’s face was clear, her hair was rinsed under the faucet, dried under the hand dryer and brushed out with a comb, and her damp dress was now swapped out for a spare sundress in Rhiannon’s gym bag, and the small makeover done and shared cigarettes later the two girls were walking out of the east exit (Rhiannon purposefully avoiding her boyfriend who was at the west entrance) only to see someone struggling with their stuff, on closer inspection she saw it was that new kid in her Biology. “Hey Ben!” she greeted while Bev made her jab about passwords. There was fear in Bens eyes at the sight of the Brunette and that’s when it stung, this kid didn’t even know her but he was afraid of her. “Henry is over at the other side of campus so you should be ok” she confirmed sending her kindest smile towards the boy who seemed to relax slightly. “What are you listening to ?” Bev pulled his headphones off him before the poor boy could answer, he having gone red in the face when she smiled and called him out on listening to New Kids on The Block. Their little encounter was sweet and Rhiannon smiled at the obvious awe that was spattered across Bens face whenever he looked at Beverly. “I should go, see you around Rhiannon” Bev waved before walking off across the field. Rhiannon smiled at the kind girl and turned her sweet grin to the boy in front of her “That’s an awful lot to carry, do you need any help?” Ben stuttered and fumbled through a rejection which only prompted the girl to giggle, “You sound like my brother.”

After signing Bens yearbook with her signature and a sweet message she left towards the west entrance without another interruption, she knew if she was any later that Henry would be angry and Rhiannon was not in the mood to deal with his piss baby temper tantrums that afternoon. Coming up next to the bus lanes she saw the four bullies walking towards her brother and let out an audible “oh fuck” before speeding up. she saw Patrick pull something off Stanley’s head before tossing it in her direction, she caught it and realized it was his kippah, pocketing it before rushing forward and slapping on a flirty smile, “Hey Henry!” The boy in questions eyes lit up like a lion who just saw a steak and suppressing a disgusted shiver she laid her hands on his chest and leaned into his ear, “your dad is here, why don’t we get going yeah?” Rhiannon knew to keep her voice soft and to keep her hands moving, bringing them up to his shoulders and flashing him ‘bedroom eyes’, she felt dirty but she knew it would get him away from her brother and his friends. Henry took one look at the four kids behind her and she pulled out the big guns, pressing kisses on his neck she whispered “Plus I heard Johnathan Chase got a fresh supply in this morning.” The mention of weed pulled Henrys mind away from the boys and back onto Rhiannon, he began to walk away with her before she told him that she needed to talk to her brother for a second and she’d be in the car soon. Once all four boys were out of earshot she spat into the grass “I fucking hate doing that.”

Bill walked forward to his twin asking if she was ok only to be met with a reassurance that everything was fine. “Oh Stan,” she called for the Jewish boys attention before producing the lost prayer cap from her pocket, “I didn’t know if these could touch the ground or not so I caught it before it hit the tarmac.” All four boys looked at her like she had three heads before ‘Trashmouth’ Richie Tozier spoke what they were all thinking, “Christ Angel what the hell are you doing being that nice and dating Bowers, not to mention you are way out of his league.” Rhiannon smirked at the boy before she answered back “Because who else is going to keep you knuckleheads from getting your faces beat, as long as I can twirl my hair and pout my lips long enough to get Pewee and his three dumbasses to leave you guys alone then that’s enough for me.” The horn going off across the parking lot made Rhiannon jump before she started to wrap up their little chat. “Oh and Eddie, tell your mom that the shit she ordered came into the pharmacy last night whenever she wants to pick it up.” With that she jogged across the field and jumped into Belches blue Pontiac Firebird and was immediately dragged into Henry’s lap with his tongue down her throat. If she had to whore herself out to Bowers to keep those boys safe then she would do it one thousand times over, she wasn’t going to let another brother get hurt, not if there was anything she could do about it.

Sitting and listening to the ‘Bowers Gang’ on any given day was like Rhiannon personally ripping her own brain cells and shoving them in a blender. The one thing that was stopping her from slamming her head against the wall was the bottle of vodka that Patrick passed her out of his backpack when they got to the scrapyard which she now held between her thighs as she took the blunt from Vic. After going through the motions of hanging out with the four assholes for the past few months it became increasingly easy to block the whole world out like a hazy white noise machine. This is not where she wanted to be spending her life, she hated the three idiots sat around her and as for Henry, who stood behind her telling some random shitty (probably racist) story, well she would probably hate him just as much if she didn’t know how fucking sad his childhood was, but she just felt kind of sorry for him. Plus he wasn’t so bad when they were alone, sometimes he was actually nice, when he first spoke to her it was 2 weeks after she got out of the hospital and she was walking back from her part time job at the pharmacy when she saw him sitting in the back alley nursing a broken nose. After contemplating her apparent death wish she made her way down the alley and kneeled in front of the then 15 year old before pulling him into the back room of Keene’s pharmacy and patching him up. Two days later it was Monday morning and after multiple threats towards the girls safety if she spilled a word about what his father did to him Henry was thoroughly shocked to find that he wasn’t met with mockery but instead with praise. It took Belch telling about how the entire school was talking about how he beat up some guys from a rival school in Bangor and that he won the fight that caused him to track down the Denbrough girl when she was walking out of Biology and ask her why she didn’t say what actually happened. “What would I gain from telling anyone what happened to you, it wasn’t my business to tell, I figured that people would ask anyway so why not say that you won in a fight instead.” After that Rhiannon spent more time with Henry outside of school and eventually their relationship just became one of convenience. Now Rhiannon just felt like she was stuck in a situation that she couldn’t get out of anymore, they had been together for months now and she couldn’t imagine that Henry would be too kind if she were to end things. It hurt Rhiannon to go through the motions of the mess she got herself into, especially when she didn’t like Henry but was practically in love with the glasses wearing dumbass who was her twins best friend. The haze on her brain was starting to clear as she exhaled the only thing keeping her sane at that moment and passed the drug to the boy behind her, capping the bottle in her lap before handing it back to the creepy Hockstetter boy and brushing off her jeans and announcing her departure. Without so much as a look from the four assholes who were still talking racist crap. Rhiannon was sure to give them the mental bird on her way.

The garage door was open when Rhiannon walked into the driveway, she watched her father storm out and into the house looking pissed and getting closer to the open door she could see Bill staring at the sewer diagram he had been building. “He didn’t listen did he?” she mumbled standing in the doorway. It was heartbreaking for Rhiannon to watch her brother obsess over finding their baby brother and part of her wanted to believe him, she wanted more than anything in the world for Georgie to be alive, just lost. Bill was silent but she could feel the hurt rolling off him as she joined him in helping to dismantle the structure of the Derry sewers. It was silent as the twins spent the rest of the evening at each others sides, this was normal for them as they had been inseparable since they were little but since loosing Georgie any moment that the two were home was spent practically joined at the hip, so much so that unless the duo slept beside each other at night (mostly in Bill’s room) they were plagued by nightmares. That night the twins were wrapped up in their blankets whispering to each other so as not to disturb the silent house, the moon streamed through the window when Bill asked his sister a question he had been thinking about all afternoon, “a-are you coming w-with us to t-the b-barrens tomorrow?” Rhiannon stared at the ceiling while weighing her options, she could spend the day bored as fuck with people she hates while pretending to be someone she is not or she could hang out with people she actually cared about.

She really should have taken into consideration how FUCKING BAD the barrens would smell. “Guys, this place is actually fucking disgusting.” Rhiannon echoed into the drainpipe where her brother and Richie stood laughing at Eddie making faces and yelling “I told you so!” at Richie who just winked at Rhiannon before backtracking and grabbing her hand to pull her into the water her twin was currently wading through looking for clues, “Come on doll, this cant smell as bad as Bowers’ unwashed ass crack.” he jabbed in his Irish Cop voice which pulled groans of annoyance out of the boys and a genuine laugh out of the brunette, “Very true Rich.” Walking on ahead she stood at Bill’s side watching the movement of the water while Bill swirled a stick through it, drowning out Richie and Eddie’s bickering when Bill’s stick catches on a white sneaker forcing everyone into silence.

At least it wasn’t Georgie’s shoe.

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#it chapter two #it richie #it chapter one #it #it 2017 #it chapter 2 #richiebeepbeeptozier #richie trashmouth #richie tozier x reader #eddie kaspbrak x reader #bill denbrough x reader x stan uris #stanley uris x reader #beverly marsh #beverley #ben hanscom

27 notes · View notes

greenornaments · 4 years

Note

58. “I’ve been in love with you my entire life. Ever since the day I first met you.” :D

Oooh, thank you so much for this prompt! This takes place post-Ch. 2, they’ve defeated Pennywise and Eddie didn’t die or even get attacked. Enjoy! ^_^

———————————

Richie can’t stop himself from thinking about it; the crippling terror he’d experienced under the clown’s hypnotic spell as he helplessly watched Eddie get impaled above him, unable to do anything but watch, scream, and listen to the deafening cries inside his own head of NO, NO, GOD NO, NOT EDDIE, TAKE ME INSTEAD, PLEASE….

It’s not real. None of it was real. He knows this from the moment he awakens from the Deadlights, dazed and disoriented as Eddie looks down at him and exclaims that he’s done it, he’s killed It, and Richie gets that surge of energy and strength he’s always heard about mothers getting when their child is in danger. It’s enough to propel him to grab onto Eddie and roll both of them out of the way just in time to miss the clown’s vengeful claws. The six of them make it out, fleeing from the house of horrors one after the other, grabbing onto each other in relief and shock as they watch Neibolt crumble into the ground and become nothing more than a bad memory.

And he can’t stop thinking about it. While they walk the quiet streets of Derry in the early dawn. When they reach the quarry, which is now sporting a large sign warning against the diving they’d engaged in so many times as children without a second thought. When they blatantly ignore the sign and dive in anyway, with Eddie grabbing onto his hand before they take the plunge. While they’re swimming around in the opaque water and Eddie is playfully splashing some of it in his direction, the smile on his face more beautiful than all the stars in the sky combined. Especially then.

What would I have done? He thinks to himself as he laughs and splashes him back. If the clown had gotten him and he was gone, what the fuck would I have done?

He’s still thinking about it later that night, as he’s standing in the shower of his rented room at the Derry Townhouse, letting the hot water run over his body and cleanse him once and for all of the scourge of Pennywise and all the misery It had wrought over him and his friends for their entire lives. He’s letting his mind wander, turning over long buried memories that have been barreling at him full force ever since he stepped foot inside Jade of the Orient and saw Eddie for the first time in twenty-seven years, but which he hasn’t allowed himself to fully process until now. Now that he has nothing else to do but think.

He thinks about that summer, of quarries and clubhouses and lazy afternoons spent in a hammock; he thinks about movies and videogames and ice cream; of days spent riding bikes through the streets of town and of hot, still nights reading comics together on Eddie’s bed while trying not to wake up Mrs. Kaspbrak.

He thinks back further, to school trips to the apple orchard, where he and Eddie would pool their pocket money together to share a turnover that Richie would always make sure to take the smaller half of. He thinks of chilly winters; of snowy days spent building snowmen in Richie’s front yard before going inside for piping hot mugs of hot chocolate.

And he thinks back even further still, to the first day of kindergarten, when he was a tiny, nervous ball of anxiety who started crying the minute his mother left, until a brown haired boy with wide eyes as dark as his hair came up to him, smiled, and offered him some dried peaches from a small bag he took from the black fanny pack around his waist.

Fuck, he thinks, the long forgotten truth hitting him as his mind lingers on the R+E he’d carved into the kissing bridge on that long ago summer day. You’ve gotten yourself into a fucking emotional mess now, Rich. You dumb fucking asshole. You shouldn’t have come back here. None of you should have. Forgetting was better, it was always fucking better.

He heaves a sigh and turns the water off, shivering as he steps out of the shower and towels himself off. He’s just finishing putting on fresh clothes when he hears a knock on his door. It’s probably Mike wanting us all to go to brunch or some shit.

He crosses the room and opens the door. It’s not Mike.

“Can I come in?” Eddie asks, even as he’s squeezing past Richie and entering the room anyway.

“Well, since you so politely asked for my permission,” Richie quips, watching Eddie sit on the edge of his bed. He’s also changed his clothes; he’s wearing plaid pajama pants and a plain black sweatshirt that says Tri-State Insurance across the front. It’s a very basic outfit that shouldn’t be and truly isn’t anything special, yet somehow on Eddie it manages to make Richie’s heart thump ever so slightly harder.

Get a fucking grip on yourself.

“To what do I owe this most honorable visit?” Richie asks as he leans against the wall and tries to look like he hasn’t just spent the past half hour reliving every single moment of pining he’s repressed for years.

Eddie looks suddenly uncomfortable, like he’s unsure now of why he’s there. “I… I wanted to talk to you. If you have a minute.”

“Just a minute, I have a hot date with your mom I’m gonna be late for.”

“You do realize my mom is dead, right, asshole?”

Richie swallows down the next joke he was about to make. He actually hadn’t remembered that in all the chaos. “Sorry,” he murmurs, his eyes meeting Eddie’s for the first time since the other man burst into his room. Eddie gazes back at him for the briefest of moments before he closes his eyes and sighs.

“Just… look, this isn’t gonna be easy for me to say,” he begins, opening his eyes back up and focusing them on a vague spot on the wall somewhere to the left of Richie. “But it’s going to bug the shit out of me until I say it, so I’m just going to bite the bullet and fucking go for it, and you don’t even have to respond, I just want to get it off my chest.”

Richie’s stomach drops, and he starts to wonder if he’s done something to piss Eddie off since they’ve reunited. Like, unintentionally. The basis of their entire friendship has always been him playfully trying to get Eddie mad, but Eddie has never really been angry at him. He doesn’t think they’ve ever even had a real fight. But there’s always that seed of doubt, and Richie quickly goes back over every interaction they’ve had in the past couple of days. Did he get mad about me making fun of his job? Maybe I made too many mom jokes, I honestly forgot she’s dead. Ok, maybe I shouldn’t have made those comments about his wife, but come on, he told me himself that their marriage is on the rocks and he’s been emotionally divorced for a long time, so how mad could he possibly-

“Earth to Trashmouth, are you listening to me?”

Fuck. “Yeah. Yeah, sorry. What’s on your mind?” Richie asks, clearing his throat and trying to do the same to his mind as he focuses back on Eddie, who takes a deep breath and begins speaking.

“Richie… back there, in the sewers, when… when the fucking clown had you in those Deadlights, I knew I had to do something to save you, cause no shit, right, you’re one of my best friends, so of course I did, but… but for some reason I also kind of felt like… like you being attacked by Pennywise was a personal attack on me? Sort of? Like… fuck… all I could think of was how I froze up when that spider fuck was attacking you, and how I had to make up for that, but also how… Ugh… I don’t know how to phrase this,” Eddie whines, rubbing a hand over his face as he focuses his eyes back on the wall, avoiding eye contact with Richie.

“It’s like… if it was any of the others up there, of course I would also try to help them if I could, but it wouldn’t…. it wouldn’t feel like so much of a personal thing, if that makes sense? The clown getting you, specifically, just really pissed me off. And when you dropped down I was so worried about you, like, were you ok? Were you hurt? I thought back to when we were kids, you know, when Bev was in the lights and Ben had to kiss her, and I thought… is that what you needed, too? Was I going to have to do that? But then you woke up and I was relieved, Rich, I was so relieved, but I was also… I don’t know… disappointed. I was actually disappointed that you didn’t need a kiss to wake up, and god, Richie, ever since we got out of that fucking house that’s all I’ve been able to think about. Why it is that I was so, so disappointed.”

Richie’s heart is pounding now, the steady thump of its beat echoing in his ears as all of his blood rushes to his head and makes him feel dizzy. Is Eddie saying what he thinks he’s saying? He can’t be, this isn’t real, it’s a dream, he’s still in the Deadlights and he’s going to wake up any second and they’re still going to be in that godforsaken sewer.

“Richie.”

“What?” Richie barely manages to choke out as Eddie finally makes eye contact with him. Every part of him is bursting to come out and say what he’s been holding back for days, for years, but he’s terrified.

“I don’t know how else to say this, but I… I think…”

“Eddie, I love you.” The words leave his mouth before he can stop them, and the minute they do his stomach flips, waves of nausea threatening to make him let loose right there on the bedroom floor, but somehow, using unimaginable strength he doesn’t even know he has in him, he manages to keep himself just barely under control enough to not completely ruin this moment.

Eddie blinks, his cheeks turning a brilliant shade of crimson. “Say that again?” He says it in a shocked whisper, his eyes wide as saucers as he looks at Richie in disbelief.

“I said I love you,” Richie repeats, finding it easier to say the second time now that the worst is over. He might as well let it all out, there’s no going back now. “I do, I love you so fucking much. I’ve been in love with you my entire life. Ever since the day I first met you. And that’s all that’s been on my mind since I got that fucking phone call from Mike. That’s what went through my head as soon as I saw the number pop up on my phone. You.” He feels his cheeks growing hot from the adrenaline and pure relief of that crushing weight coming off of his chest.

Eddie’s shoulders are heaving with the intensity of the breaths he’s taking as his dark eyes bore into Richie’s. The next thing Richie knows, he’s watching Eddie get up off the bed and cross over to him, stopping close to him but, agonizingly, not even remotely close enough.

“Say it again,” he demands, his eyes flashing.

“I love you.”

“Again.” Eddie is slowly closing the space between them.

“I. Love. You.”

“One more time.” He’s practically pressed up against him now, and Richie is about 80% sure he’s about to actually faint.

“I’m in love with you, you little shit-“

His words are cut off by the gentle press of soft lips against his, and his brain short-circuits and goes completely offline. It’s so much, it’s too much, it’s not enough, it’s Eddie, it’s literally everything Richie has ever dreamed of, it’s the moment he often stayed up for entire nights fantasizing about, it’s what he always assumed he would never experience, and here it was, as real as the press of Eddie’s warm, breathing, very much alive body pinning him against the wall.

Their lips part and they look at each other, breathing heavily. Eddie’s eyes are blown black, his lips are cherry red and his cheeks are scarlet. He’s so close that Richie can actually feel the thumping of the other man’s heart against his chest.

“I love you too, asshole,” says Eddie, smiling before crashing their lips back together.

#reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #my writing #it chapter 2

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cryingbilldenbrough · 6 years

Note

can you write one where richie is dating a girl, and isn’t really that into her. he basically is dating her so people stop saying he likes eddie. but then one night when eddie and him are cuddling, trying to get to sleep, they both realize they like each other. and richie ends up breaking up with his girlfriend , but eddie stays away when he realizes these feelings because richie has a girl and he’s kind of nervous. but at the end, eddie finds out richie dumped her and they end up together

“a girl” AS IF RICHIE DOES NOT TRY TO DATE BEVERLY MARSH

and it’s not like, that richie does it by accident or because he wants people to think he’s straight

cause richie is the Resident Bi Disaster

and like, he may not like bev’s smile like he likes eddie’s but man, bev is cool as fuck

she smokes the same brand of cigarettes as him and listens to cool music and can yo-yo better than richie ever DREAMED

and she gets richie right, understands his humor and doesn’t make fun of him when he snorts while laughing and she curls his hair around her finger fondly

richie thinks maybe, just maybe he could learn to love beverly marsh

they’re at the Aladdin one night, watching a bad horror movie, and richie puts his arm around bev

it feels right, to have someone cuddled up to him, and she smells nice and sometimes richie just feels so lonely? and he wants somebody who UNDERSTANDS HIM

“bev, wanna like date or something?” he whispers, leaning into her ear

“sure, rich,” she says, easy as pie, and suddenly richie has a girlfriend???

he walks bev home, not quite working up the courage to hold her hand, and then IMMEDIATELY hops on his bike and goes to bill’s house

mike’s there because of course he is and richie explains to the both of them his predicament while sitting cross legged on bill’s bed

“i don’t like-like bev,” he says, biting his lip and fidgeting with his fingernails “but it just felt so right?”

mike looks hesitant but bill is rock steady when he goes “if t-that’s what you w-want richie, then g-g-go for it”

(there’s an unspoken conversation happening between mike and bill, a “what is eddie gonna say? does richie have any idea what he’s done?”)

anyway, richie goes home that night and has trouble falling asleep because he feels excited and guilty all at the same time

he and bev start doing couple things, like walking hand and hand in the hallway and richie carries her books to class and bev writes him little notes that she tucks into his locker

richie gets a lot of shit from older kids about it, boys whispering to him about his whore girlfriend and girls giving him pitying looks and it makes richie SO MAD because cant they see that bev is the coolest person in this whole fucking school???

and like, richie kind of loses ben as a friend? because duh ben still loves bev but can’t work up the courage to do anything about it and he glares at richie with more jealousy than anger

but the worst reaction of all is Eds

because richie kind of thought eddie would be happy for him? richie has accepted that eddie’s never going to be in love with him like richie is with him but he at least hoped eddie loved him enough to be happy for richie finding love of his own?

but eddie avoids him. he averts his eyes in the hall and wrinkles his nose at bev and his joined hands

he doesn’t even fake happiness

and richie is gutted

anyway, beverly marsh is richie’s first kiss

it’s late, they’re in the park, and bev’s got that key necklace on that she won’t tell richie what it unlocks

his eyes are still open and he crosses them, focused on her freckles

it doesn’t get better until he closes his eyes, almost forgetting who he’s with and letting himself pretend for a minute it’s eddie’s soft lips on his and not beverly’s

she’s patient and hesitant and her perfume coils around his head and he gets a little lost in it

she pulls back and her eyes are so green in the moonlight and she smiles kind of pityingly at richie and goes “i think we should break up”

“what?” richie says, still kind of dazed

“we can’t keep pretending we aren’t doing this to make somebody else jealous,”

and god bev is SO SMART. she’s so wise beyond her years and mAN richie really could love her!!! he could spend his life chasing bev’s intelligence and letting her be one step ahead of him!!!!!

but she’s right

so richie nods and kisses her cheek one last time and she locks their pinkies together and she knows where richie’s going and she wishes him luck with a kiss to his forehead

and richie climbs on his bike and makes for eddie kaspbrak’s house

GUESS WHAT BITCHES IT AINT A REDDIE FIC IF HE DONT CLIMB IN EDDIE’S WINDOW

but richie is a disaster, remember? so he tries to throw a rock at eddie’s window and fucking cracks it and luckily ms. k doesn’t hear it break but eddie DOES and he’s PISSED

“what the fuck, richie? what are you doing here? you broke my fucking window youre gonna have to pay for that my mom is going to be so pissed i can’t believe you anyway what are you doing here shouldn’t you be off with your girlfriend”

he spits girlfriend in such a venomous manner and richie KNOWS

so he ignores eddie’s yelling and slides the cracked window open and crawls into eddie’s room clumsily

and eddie is lecturing him the whole time but he looks happy, like he’s missed yelling at richie just as much as richie has missed being yelled at

richie plants both hands on eddie’s cheeks and there’s a surge of confidence in him because he’s done this before now and he thinks he has a rough idea of how to kiss well

and richie knows it’s a dick move to kiss someone to shut them up

but eddie melts into it, mouth still open and his eyes fluttering closed and richie presses into him with every bit of skill he can muster

they break apart and eddie’s cheeks are flushed and he’s totally not mad anymore, he’s looking at richie shyly with his eyelashes all fluttering and god richie was such an idiot wasn’t he

“what about your girlfriend?”

“i don’t have a girlfriend” richie says and eddie sighs, kind of fond and kind of tired

“thank god,” he says, licking his bottom lips as if to chase richie’s taste “cause do you know how hard it is to hate beverly marsh?”

send me requests/headcanons/prompts!

#reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #bevchie #beverly marsh #aLSO U KNOW BEN AND BEV GET TOGETHER TOO #cause i woudl Die for Benverly #it headcanons #my writing #anyway i love my children

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earwaxinggibbous · 6 years

Text

10 Songs that make Love/Sex Sound Like No Fun

Happy Vagina Day! I mean Happy Valentines Day!

[wipes brow]

What do you mean it’s the 15th???

Valentines Day has always been my least favorite holiday, even now when I can actually appreciate it as a taken man. I was never a very romantic person, as hard as I try, and a lot of the gushy crap forced down our throats around February is akin to being buttfucked with a tree branch. It’s like walking into a store and all of the workers are talking in uwu-speak.

Hewwo wewcome to Gwistedes dat wiww be 20 dowwaws! Cash oah cwedit?

But if February is good for one thing aside from overcoming your Winter Break Hangover, as a song critic, it’s a good time to talk about love songs. (And fuck songs, ‘cause there’s a lot of those.) But talking about songs that actually bring out powerful romantic feelings is absolutely no fun, because like I said, I’m not a romantic man. Wouldn’t it be much more fun to find love and sex songs that make the acts seem... really, really lame? So that’s what we’re doing.

Keep in mind that I don’t know every song on the planet, in fact, my scope is actually a very small, strange corner of the musical world. So if you have your own list, feel free to put it together and show me if you want! Go crazy.

Honorable mentions go to any songs that aren’t actually intended to be romantic or sexy. Stuff like The Nine Inch Nails’ Closer. Or Eminem’s Kim. If that’s your idea of love, well... you do you I guess. There’ll be more honorables later.

Nuuuumber 10!

Closer - The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey

I personally believe both of the artists involved in this are more sexually weak than Kevin from F is for Family. (And if you’ve watched the whole series you know exactly what I’m talking about. Also hit me the fuck up, I need someone to fanboy over that shit with.)

I like Halsey. I don’t think she’s amazing or anything. Oftentimes I feel like her greatest flaw as an artist is that she wants to do three things at once: Appeal to internet people who like stuff like Marina and Lana del Rey (eg. Colors), appeal to a mainstream that just likes regular easy-listening pop music (eg. New Americana), and also just do her own thing and talk about her own experiences (eg. Control and Gasoline). These things don’t really work that well together at times. New Americana is one of those times, I hate that song. Closer is another one of those times.

The Chainsmokers kind of improved by 2017, but for awhile they were putting out soulless crap like Don’t Let Me Down with all the excitement of a party that only consists of art students. Closer is also lame. But more than that it shows me two things: The first being that Andrew Taggart is an asshole, and the second being that the Chainsmokers don’t know how to write women and even Halsey’s halfway-decent voice and attempts at emotion can’t really fix it.

“Hey, I drink a lot. But everything was fine before we started dating, so it must be YOUR fault!”

Part of me almost feels like Taggart just really wants to fuck Halsey and so he wrote this song as an excuse, like it’s essentially the expensive version of a self-insert fanfic.

If the Chainsmokers are good at one thing, it’s lyrical detail. It worked in their favor in Paris, which is a song that I actually really love. All of the tiny details worked into it paint an insanely vivid picture of these two rich kids basically having some kind of one-night stand.

In Closer it does the complete opposite. I have a hard time believing that there’s any thought less sexy than fucking in the backseat of a range rover with a mattress in the trunk that belonged to your roommate, and they probably masturbated on it and how do you even have this car if you can’t afford it? Or is Taggart just being fucking presumptuous? Dammit, man.

Halsey plays this really pathetic character who left Taggart’s character based on looks alone, and is now regretting it because I guess the endless sexual draw of the weird long-headed guy from the Chainsmokers would make anyone change their mind. It paints Halsey’s character as pathetic, and that’s a character I have absolutely never wanted to see her play. Because her personality as a singer is kind of thin. When she’s playing a character who is aggressive and violently emotional, it works, but when in a role like this it feels like misuse of her actual talent. Kind of equivalent to when they got Eminem on that strip club song Shake That.

(He don’t get it. You don’t get it. And most of all, I don’t get it.)

Frankly, Halsey’s strengths (”specific yet vague” emotional detail) don’t play off well with the Chainsmokers’ strengths. (detailed scenery to piece together vague stories) These two should never have gotten together. Frankly, they shouldn’t have even tried,

Numéro Neuf

You Was Right - Lil Uzi Vert

His face is so weird. It’s just so weird.

I have a kind of odd love of Lil Uzi Vert, despite the fact I’ve only heard one song that I really liked. (XO Tour Lif3, for the record.) I feel like he has a creative energy that most artists in pop are missing, but he’s really, REALLY not using it to his advantage. A lot of his songs are just kind of... nothing.

You Was Right is one of those hits that was so early in 2017, my brain keeps telling me it was a 2016 hit. It was also Uzi’s first platinum single. It’s an okay song musically. Not that interesting. Beat kind of sounds like it was bumped from Wicked, which is not helped by the fact that Metro Boomin’ was involved in both songs. But lyrically, this song is... weird and confusing.

The basic plot makes sense: Lil Uzi’s character in this song feels bad after cheating on his girlfriend, and he wishes he could turn back time and stop himself from doing so. But man. This song makes the idea of a relationship with Lil Uzi sound like way more trouble than it’s worth.

I bet you’re asking me: “Panda, is this line accompanied by the most obnoxious eye-roll possible in the music video?”

Yes. Yes it is.

Yep, that’s right. Lil Uzi is feeling guilty, and wishes he’d never taken this girl home, and--

Uzi stop.

You should’ve just not. Done anything. Because you have a girlfriend. You shouldn’t have boned, you should’ve gone home and boned your girlfriend, dammit Lil Uzi. Let me like you, you bastard.

The reason this isn’t any higher is because I at least feel like Uzi has some kind of love for his girlfriend. As the second line indicates that the moment he saw his girlfriend, he immediately passed by some other woman to hit her up. But still...

I THINK YOU KIND OF DID WRECK HER. YOU FUCKED A GROUPIE, MAN.

This whole verse is just funny I have no explanation. Like. You’re in the same room, but because the door is locked, even though... you’re in the same room? You can’t talk? But she’s actually in the bathroom. And Uzi needs to take a piss, so he’s basically just forcing some romantic lovey-dovey crap, like babe I wanna caress you, I’m seriously gonna wreck the carpet right now, can we just move on from this.

But here’s the best/worst line, in my humble onion:

1. What does this have to do with anything,

2. He’s gonna fuck your sister and then kill her if you talk shit, I guess. So to my sister, I am very sorry.

I think Uzi improved on conveying emotion in his next album, or at least with the big single XO Tour Lif3, which I’ll defend until I’m dead. But as for You Was Right, well... he was wrong.

Número Ochoooooo!

Shape Of You - Ed Sheeran

Did you wanna fuck Ed Sheeran?

NO?

TOO BAD.

Ed Sheeran is a musician I enjoy purely for the purpose of mocking him. While he does, now and then, drop a good single like Don’t, Sing or Castle on the Hill, oftentimes he exudes only one thing:

PERPETUAL VIRGINITY!

Maybe it’s because of his voice. Or maybe it’s because he looks like a high schooler who hit puberty too late. Maybe it’s because I have THIS picture of him saved to my computer:

Look at him. Look at his fucking face.

He just exudes involuntary celibacy. Not like the reddit “hurgh durgh FEMOIDS” kind, just like. The “sees a naked boob and passes out bleeding like an anime character” kind.

Look at his fucking face. He looks like he’s not sure how to hold a woman’s hand. He looks like he doesn’t even know what it is. I don’t know how I’m expected to recognize Ed Sheeran as a sexually active man. The weird dinky three-tone beat ripped straight from Sia’s Cheap Thrills and pretty much every Rihanna song ever, namely Work, doesn’t help in the slightest. Because here’s the thing: Work and Cheap Thrills are not sex songs. If anything, they’re songs about the lower class and their struggles. No fucking required, unless you count Drake’s verse on Work.

Shape Of You is a sex song. And it’s about as sexy as wedging your dick in a paper bag.

It’s like it was supposed to be a romantic sex song, but the vibe I’m getting is a teenage boy up in your DMs asking (admittedly politely) for titty pics.

He’s in love with the shape of you. Just your outline. Your contour. Like that one episode of Ed Edd ‘n Eddy where Jimmy somehow gets his linework stolen and has to be kept in a blender? He wouldn’t fuck a lady like that. You gotta have a... shape. Square. Circle.

RECTANGLE GIRLS OF THE WORLD

This isn’t helping the whole “virginal loser” thing for the record.

The verses try to be more romantic, and totally fail at it because let’s be honest, if Ed Sheeran took me to an all-you-can-eat buffet on our first date, I’d probably kill him. McDonald’s is even preferable. I guess it’s also technically more expensive if you want seconds, but like... everyone there is probably sweaty... and the food usually looks really gross. Sometimes you have mashed potatoes in the steak bucket and it just completely ruins your day.

Ed’s wispy delivery really doesn’t help, as he has all the sexual energy of a castrated Charlie Puth. He’s not crazy. He does not fit the radio definition of “crazy”. He’s the musician that I just see the least as one who fucks. Puth gets more pussy. The ICP get more pussy. Meghan Trainor probably fucks more than he does, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she was some kind of otherworldly plant being that reproduces via budding.

Also I’d feel bad if I didn’t mention the video, which is literally, no joke, the video for Maroon 5′s One More Night. You know, where the lead singer becomes a badass boxer who punches shit. Now I’ll probably drop my feelings towards Maroon 5 with more detail in the future, but in short, I actually enjoy most of their singles. One More Night is a fun song in my opinion, not high art or anything, but I like it. Adam’s falsetto doesn’t bug me as much as other people. I’d prefer him singing in a high pitch than, say, Swae Lee.

(Dammit Swae, let me love you, you bastard.)

But see, I actually also prefer the VIDEO for One More Night. For two big reasons.

1. Adam Levine is at least a little more threatening than Ed Sheeran. Remember how fucking goofy Animals was BECAUSE Adam was singing it? Imagine if Ed was on that track. It’d be ridiculous.

and

2. One More Night was a song about how his relationship with his girlfriend basically feels like a warzone. The violence in the music video was, at some level, metaphorical. In Shape Of You it doesn’t have any emotional or symbolic relevance, so I just have to take at face-value that Ed Sheeran is a boxer, and...

That’s just not happening.

Numerum VII!

Blurred Lines - Robin Thicke ft. Pharrell and T.I.

This would easily be higher up if not for the fact that, on the most technical level, it’s a joke song.

Bet you didn’t know that.

Yeah, the joke here is that these three are singing this ridiculous sex jam despite in real life all being happily married men (or at least were at the time this song came out, Robin’s wife promptly dropped him as soon as this album fell into our collective hands) who are way past their prime when it comes to flirting with chicks at the club. Also, Pharrell looks like an alien.

I’m not gonna extend this too much, as everyone’s already riffed on Blurred Lines more than we’ve probably riffed on other socially questionable songs like U.O.E.N.O. or Treat You Better. But this song sounds like it... COULD BE about sexual assault?

I’ll be fair and say that I don’t think this is straight-up a rape song. Because the thing is that it’s not actually about sex, it’s about picking up girls. But Robin’s approach is so slimy and gross that I’d honestly prefer, very specifically, to re-enact that one scene from The Simpsons’ Cape Feare where they drive through a bunch of cacti with Sideshow Bob hanging on the bottom of the car, and I’m Sideshow Bob, but facing the ground with my dick out, so it slides through the cactus like a sad, sad little pool noodle full of thumbtacks.

On one hand, there’s implications of attempting to get consent, and on the other hand, there’s also discussion of whether or not he’s actually GETTING consent or not. Maybe it’d work if Robin Thicke had more swagger to his personality, and if they removed all the stuff about “blurred lines”, it’d be less suspicious. But even then it’d still sound like a /r/niceguy trying to convince a girl that she WANTS to fuck him.

Once again I’d like to mention the video real quick, specifically the alternate version.

The topless version somehow makes it even LESS sexy. When the women were clothed, it definitely gave more of a vibe of “cheeky girl at a bar playing hard to get”, but once you have a bunch of topless chicks running around looking unhappy and bored, it reads more as... “harem sex dungeon”.

Not much else to say, really. Other than that Miley Cyrus has horrible taste in men.

Even you can do better, Miley.

Nummer Sechs!

The Hills - The Weeknd

The Hills is about as sexy as getting the bottom half of my body lost in the void while prime minister Shinzo Abe projectile vomits onto my face.

I actually like this song. But it doesn’t sound like sex. At all.

It does sound like a good horror movie soundtrack, which I guess...

I guess at least this line would make sense if it was?

Everything about this song kind of punches you. The beat punches you and the tune punches you and it’s really really loud. Literally everything about this song fits together EXCEPT THE PREMISE. This is, from what I can gather, a song about some dark spooky sex machine who’s helping a girl cheat on her boyfriend, but doesn’t really care because his drug problem or something is more important to him. And nothing fits with it.

Say what you want about Earned It, it sounds like a sex song. Maybe I’ll discuss that song in the future, but while Earned It creates the vibe of some sort of expensive Blank Space-esque rich guy mansion with a sexual twist, The Hills sounds more like... an explosion in a really dark place. Even the video works for the sound more than it works for the premise. Frankly, if this had been a song about a break-up or being sent to prison or something, I’d totally buy it. The Weeknd’s warbling baby voice can convey suffering more than it can convey sex.

The best way I can explain this is...

Imagine if Rolex was backed by the ending track from A Serbian Film. That’s the tonal problem we’re talking here.

Though lyrically, The Hills isn’t high art either.

Bragging about erectile dysfunction: Counting this and Young Thug’s Lifestyle, I guess we can call this a theme now. I hate it. Also, Weeknd rhymes “simple” with “simple”. And the fact that this is a fuckjam makes the title drop of The Hills Have Eyes even more questionable. I’d honestly rather hear a sex song based on Cannibal Holocaust.

Also, fun fact, this song has a remix featuring Eminem. Fucking EMINEM. That is the least sexy rapper you could have picked. You could have chosen anyone for your sex song, and you picked the man responsible for such classic sensual love songs as Stan and Just Lose It.

Dear Weeknd, I wrote you but you still ain’t callin��...

Still a song I like. Just... pretend it’s not about boning.

Numero Cinque!

Bad Things - Machine Gun Kelly ft. Camila Cabello

I debated deep in my heart as to whether or not I could, in good taste, put this song on the list. Because I really shouldn’t expect a whole lot from ex-Fifth Harmony member as well as the only Fifth Harmony member anyone knows the name of, Camila Cabello, as well as this weirdo Machine Gun Kelly, who looks like a very failed attempt to clone Macklemore.

But then I read this.

Wait, this is a love song?

I thought it was just... about like, fucking.

ALSO WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SAMPLE OUT OF MY HEAD IN A LOVE SONG.

And most importantly, and much less aggressively, why does this song sound like it’s about, like... abuse.

Like, yeah. You’re- you’re giving each other scars. And guess what! This is actually edited.

Somehow the edit makes it both better and worse. Because on one hand, like, bruises usually sounds like more of an abuse thing. When I think of an abuse victim I see bruises. But, also, scars are... technically a bigger deal? Bruises go away. If you’re scarring up your SO, then you have some serious issues. And MGK’s uninterested delivery makes it way worse, as well as the Fastball sample that is from a song about hurting your lover. Which kind of sounds, uh, a lot like... what’s going on here.

And, uh, I guess you could argue they’re in a really intense BDSM relationship? I guess Camila seems pretty into it, and not really in like, a Stockholm Syndrome way. But the other thing that takes up a good chunk of this song is the comparison between drug dependence and romance.

Which really doesn’t help?

Like drugs aren’t a good thing. Honestly I feel like Kesha using this metaphor was a sign of things to come considering what happened to her in 2017. Because, here’s a crazy thought, drugs may be addictive... but they also hurt you.

Like an abusive partnerokay we’re moving on sorry.

Numero Neljä!

Treat You Better - Shawn Mendes

Oh hey, I like, just mentioned this one.

Honestly, Kodak Black’s Side N**** would’ve taken this spot, except that I don’t wanna think about Kodak Black. Ever. So you get the whiter version of it.

Treat You Better is another one of those songs that makes the idea of dating the singer sound insanely unappealing. But unlike You Was Right above, Treat You Better has next to no self-awareness.

I’ll admit that I don’t really hate Shawn Mendes. I actually like Stitches, the tune is nice enough and regardless of how you feel about this apparently 6′2 tower of twink flesh, you can’t really argue that he hasn’t got a decent set of pipes on him.

But damn if his songwriters aren’t trying to sour my opinion of him at every turn.

If this were an actual review, I’d complain about how the backing guitar sounds exactly LIKE Stitches, but the problems arise in the lyrics, and the way the video plays off of the lyrics.

oh wait excuse me

Alright sorry.

But in case you can’t tell, Treat You Better is basically a niceguy anthem. I mean, when I read the title I thought it was like the earlier-mentioned Fastball’s Out Of My Head or Hoobastoobaskeeboodidillybaboobastank’s The Reason where the male singer does some nonspecific bad thing to their SO and vows to be better in the future. You know, like--

(YAH... HUH... I PROMISE TO, UH... BE BETTER... YIEAH...)

But no, actually. Treat You Better is more equivalent to Daya’s Hide Away, which you could honestly consider as on this list in the exact same spot because they’re basically the same song.

I suspect the reason nobody wants to date Daya is because she dresses like Heather Chandler in the 2018 Heathers remake.

I also suspect her and Shawn would absolutely love one another’s company.

To be absolutely fair, neither of these songs take the stance that real life nicefolk take, because it’d make them look absolutely insufferable. The big reason I chose Treat You Better over Hide Away for this list is that the video tries to imply that Shawn’s object of attraction is being abused by her current boyfriend. Which I guess makes sense, but...

I love how the combination of the song and the video essentially imply that Shawn’s got this ladyfriend who’s being beaten to shit by her boyfriend and his only response is man, this is why you should’ve dated me instead! I would be WAY better to you than that guy!

Instead of, you know.

This guy is seriously terrible to you and I’m calling the police.

Or better yet!

Kill him.

Also this girl’s just not... a very good actress. I’m not asking for a Hollywood performance, just, you know. Some kind of expression other than “mild disinterest” when you’re about to get your shit kicked in would be nice.

Really the big issue is that, regardless of whether or not we’re supposed to see the girl as an abuse victim, Shawn will forever see himself as the victim. Which means it’s either

A. Some dildo victimizing himself because his best friend is a taken woman and he wants to Betta in her Dannygans.

or B. Some dildo victimizing himself because his best friend is in an abusive relationship... and he wants to Betta in her Dannygans.

So either way, Shawn Mendes’ greatest worry isn’t your safety, or if you’re happy in your current relationship, his one worry is getting his spindly little baby-soft white boy hands into your undies. And frankly, I just don’t need that in my life!

the third one

Honey I’m Good - Andy Grammar

How much do you wanna bet all these couples broke up/got divorced after featuring in this thing?

I labored over how this one matched up with #2, but decided it was at least making some sad, sad attempt to promote faithfulness in couples. See the plot of this song written by Andy Grammar, who I’m assuming is a one-hit wonder because I’d certainly never heard of him until this song came out, is stated very clearly:

I think the best part about this is the way it’s worded. “I gotta be like oh baby, nah baby” makes him sound so annoyed. Like, “Ugh, I wanna bone you, but I wanna be nice to my wife or whatever, so I GUESS I’ll turn you down... Sigh...”

So this is essentially a self-fellating anthem congratulating Andy’s character for not cheating on his wife. Because, as he says,

“Yeah, babe, better men than me have cheated on their wives, so it’d be totally fine if I DID, but I’m such a Nice Dude that I won’t do it. For my wife. Smooch.”

One could argue that he’s supposed to be drunk, but let’s be real here: Being drunk doesn’t make you lie. If anything, it makes you more honest. Booze is a truth serum. Now if he had just gotten out of dental care after getting his wisdom teeth pulled and his hot lady dentist was trying to flirt with him, maybe I could imagine it making sense.

And once again, the Devil’s Advocate could say, “well if he’s being honest, then this shouldn’t be a problem, he’s faithful to his wife”, but the thing is that he’s not even totally drunk yet.

Translation: If I have another drink, I’ll be so boozed up that my honest feelings will make me want to fuck that ass.

He’s tipsy at best, which is why he’d admit to considering this at all, but if he were more drunk he’d totally fuck this assumedly more attractive woman. So for all we know he’ll go back to the club tomorrow, have one too many, and considering how well this stupid song did, he’d throw enough money at the next Cambodian prostitute he runs into to buy her a mansion.

The congratulatory tone to the music doesn’t really help, it really does feel like Grammar is sucking himself off for having the “willpower” to not be a completely terrible person. The only thing that makes it even more hilariously sad is the video of elderly couples lip-syncing to it, all the while holding up signs or wearing shirts that say how many years they’ve been together. It’s as if they’re bragging about how their marriage is bound to last way longer than the marriage in the song.

“Mildred, do you promise not to bone a random guy at the bar when I’m home?” “Only if you promise not to do that either, you rascal you.”

For all I know, Andy Grammar’s a great guy! But with only this song to go by, I’m obligated to assume that he’s a complete dildo who wears a mask of faux-Southern charm when he’s sober and avoids getting drunk so that mask doesn’t shloff off of his face like he’s a juggalo at the official sprinkler festival.

The weirdest part of this to me is that this song is so catchy we actually fell for it, if only for awhile. And its happy tone kind of makes you forget the lyrics. I almost feel like that was intentional. Like, his producers looked at the lyrics and just said, “Boys, let’s fix this shit.” It’s not even good production, it’s just really catchy! Fuck!

All in all, Honey I’m Good is about as romantic as listening to my parents argue at 12 in the morning. Not only is there no reason Andy Grammar deserves any congrats on his mediocre “feat”, but he really doesn’t seem to love his wife that much, if a shot of tequila and a scantily-clad cokewhore is enough to wreck his faith.

Numbah TWOOOOO!

What The Hell - Avril Lavigne

I’d honestly argue that Avril Lavigne’s character as a singer is equally sociopathic to that of Taylor Swift and Cher Lloyd. I feel like after Hello Kitty slaughtered her reputation and career forever, we kind of forgot how genuinely terrifying she was. She’s like every horrible thing about being a teenager squeezed into one person who’s way too old to be pretending to be a teenager. I mean, look at Girlfriend. The only thing more terrifying than Girlfriend is, well, What The Hell.

Because, you know. That’s not a problem or anything.

Rather than the obsessive character from Girlfriend, Avril in this song is the complete opposite. She doesn’t make connections with anybody, and when she’s sick of a relationship, she’ll move onto her boyfriend’s friends, strangers, fans, non-fans, parents, teachers, Todd Howard, etcetera. So she’ll go around macking on anything she wants and then have blase, slightly annoyed reaction when her boyfriend is completely horrified by it.

(This? This is my greatest fear.)

Her disinterest really comes out in the lyrics, and her sales pitch is, basically, this is just who I am and you should fuck me even if you don’t like it. Especially since, while I hate to be the guy who says it, if this was a song by a guy, everyone would fucking hate it. I actually don’t mind the beat or the tune, honestly, I listen to this song sometimes when I’m out of music that rises above the bar of “guilty pleasure”. That almost makes this worse. Everything is delivered with the disinterest of a Future verse, as if this is just a normal thing, and looking back imagining middle school me singing along to this is pretty fucked.

Not that I really blame this for any kind of influence on children. Honestly I don’t think anyone was really listening to the lyrics, they were just having fun. It’s fun! That’s pretty messed up.

By the way, I think this bit on the bridge says a lot about Avril as a writer (and maybe even as a person):

I love the assumption that this guy is still devoted to her after she has cheated on him and shown no remorse whatsoever. Why would he really want her back? Personally I’d say something along the lines of “fuck you, bitch, go get syphilis somewhere where it can’t be transferred to me.” Bye bye!

Really, though, the more Avril Lavigne tried to lean into her teen rebellion phase, the more I realized how old she was. And as she got older, and tried to be more rebellious, it became less endearing and more sociopathic. Maybe she’s a really nice person, but at the same time, to write a song like this, I can’t really tell. Especially when THIS is how she describes it:

Avril, you read the lyrics, right? Of course you did, you sang it. Jesus, lady.

Well, before we move onto the big weiner, let’s talk honorable mentions!

You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift

Surprised that Taylor didn’t make it on here? It came down to the wire, but in the end, the concept of screwing in a pile of jizzy sheets in a range rover bumped this one off the list. Still, though, Taylor’s attempts to be “relatable” end up making her sound desperate. And also Taylor’s pre-existing ideas of why she’s “better” for him than this other girl kinda remind me of...

Hide Away - Daya

I almost wish I had found space for this song since I hate it so much. But really my biggest problem with it is that Daya sings like a rubber goose and that, of course, the nicegirl/niceguy mentality needs to die and people like Daya are perpetuating it.

Don’t Wanna Know - Maroon 5 ft. Kendrick Lamar

Yikes, dude. Just... yikes.

Marvin Gaye - Charlie Puth ft. Meghan Trainor

Charlie Puth and Meghan Trainor are two beacons of sexlessness and this song does Marvin Gaye a disservice. The only reason I left it off is because it’s honestly been discussed to death, I’m almost like, tired of hearing about it.

Side N**** - Kodak Black

This isn’t even a niceguy song, it’s literally “you should date me because I’ll shoot you and your man if you don’t”. I’d have loved to make space for it, but I don’t even want to listen to this song in full, or talk about this guy. At this point Kodak Black is keeping the fire lit with controversy. I’d like to just dump water on it.

NUMBER ONE!

Sigh. This one’s obvious enough.

Dear Future Husband - Meghan Trainor ft. Satan, probably

Sometimes you just gotta throw your hands up and say STOP, MEGHAN! STOP!

STOP!

Meghan Trainor is an artist who I actually do understand the appeal of: She appeals to white feminist teenage girls and soccer moms that still read Twilight even though their daughters are long since over it. But, sadly, that’s two demographics of people I hate, and thus, I find myself hating everything Meghan Trainor puts out. The only remotely passable single I remember by her was Lips Are Moving. Dear Future Husband isn’t even my least favorite fucking Meghan Trainor song. (It’d probably be No, if I had to pick.) But god, if this song isn’t just... oof.

Let’s get the shoehorned feminist message out of the way:

We know you have a job, nobody’s expecting you to cook, why would you bake pies all day, who needs that many pies, no you can’t write a hook, and these views are insanely outdated for anyone who doesn’t have a Return of Kings account. So great, you have a job and can’t cook. Cool. That’s a thing with a lot of people.

Honestly the insistence that she “deserves it” even though she makes no attempt to prove herself a good wife aside from saying she’ll buy you groceries and fuck you sometimes. This song kind of lays on the assumption that you’ll do literally anything because, duh, she’s famous musician Meghan Trainor, and if you don’t do these things, YOU JUST HATE FAT GIRLS.

(Mary Lambert never pulls this shit. And she weighs more than the gold toilet you use, while you’re using it, MEGHAN.)

Honestly though, listening to Meghan Trainor songs just kind of turn me into that obnoxious guy on 4chan who unironically uses the term “feminazi” in 2018. Because really, she fits every feminist stereotype in existence, and she never says anything of any worth.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way--

Acting crazy... how?

Do we mean like, Ren & Stimpy crazy, or Avril Lavigne crazy?

Because I’m terrified it’s the latter.

Meghan kind of talks about her theoretical future husband like he’s a dog, or some other kind of animal that does badass tricks. Essentially obligating him to constantly do what she wants, when she wants it, and never disagree with her even if she’s in the wrong, because then she MIGHT fuck him. Or, uh, excuse me,

Some KISSES! :D

You like KISSES, don’t you? Who’s a good boy? WHO’S A GOOD BOY? IT’S YOU! YOU’RE A GOOD BOY!

...

[clears throat]

It doesn’t help that this song is, essentially, just a list of requests and things this guy has to do. So while Meghan can do whatever she wants, her husband is still required to do the traditionalist romance crap like buy her things, lose every argument, hold doors, accept potential insanity, and be “classy”.

Honestly, don’t let Daya and Meghan Trainor do a single together. I think the pain of hearing it will overtake my body. Like that forcible body-wracking feeling you get when you dry heave.

The best part being that I haven’t even touched on the worst line.

So like, ignoring all of the other shit, if a girlfriend or potential wife said this to me, I’d jump ship. Like, controlling every other aspect of your life wasn’t enough, she also gets to decide what people you see! So if she doesn’t really like your good friend John, then he’s banned from this house forever. And forget about seeing your grandpa. She doesn’t care if he has cancer! You fucking MISOGYNIST PIG! LOVE YOUR WIFE!

Urgh. Of course the song that combines the insanity of What The Hell with the me-me-me attitude of Treat You Better and the bored lack of emotional connection in You Was Right would top this list. I’m glad Meghan Trainor killed her own career in 2016, because I don’t think I’d be able to handle another year of these shitty faux-feminist throwback jams. Thanks, Me Too!

If I was you, I’d wanna anyone besides me, too!

Also, if anyone’s curious about ratings I’d give these, here you go.

10 - 2/5 stars. Not good enough to be mediocre.

9 - 1.5/5 stars, mostly because Lil Uzi can do better, which is half a saving grace and half a detriment.

8 - 1/5 stars. Ech.

7 - 2/5 stars. I’ll admit the Blurred Lines controversy was blown out of proportion, but it’s still not that great of a song.

6 - 3.5/5 stars. I can get down to this, it’s just... not sexy.

5 - 0/5 stars. RIP Fastball.

4 - .5/5 stars. Only because Shawn’s slurring is funny.

3 - 2/5 stars. At least it’s fun, I guess.

2 - 2.5/5 stars. Again, at least it’s enjoyable if you ignore the words.

1 - 0/5 stars. No more Meghan, please.

#top 10 #valentines day #panda posts #music criticism #top 10 list #negative(?) review

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pumpkinscreams · 6 years

Photo

TAG LIST: @richiescigarettes @mpsnudesHomecoming - Chapter 4

MY ONLY WARNING IS THERE’S A MAKE OUT SESH WHOOPS ALSO I AM N LOVE WITH THIS CHAPTER SO I HOPE U ENJOYYYY

“Why do we need to do this Rich?” Beverly asks in a shallow moan.

“So I can look like a king for the people Bevvy Bee, kiss a couple babies and we’re on our way.”

The two were going to the gym, helping the homecoming committee make a huge ass poster that they’re gonna plaster on the wall for homecoming. The dances theme was Grease is the World, so Richie could only assume it was gonna just be a basic dance with a couple of music notes and records plastered on the walls. But when the two enter the half decorated high school gym, their jaws fall to the white tiled floor. The newly installed stage was lined with metallic red and blue tassels, shining in the fluorescent lights. The walls were almost completely covered in blue, red, and yellow streamers, cartooney music notes and records (Even though Richie lazily predicted that, they were in a neat and perfect pattern, way better looking then he had imagined)

The punch tables and such would be setup on friday, the day of, for now there are two lame tables filled with art supplies to be the backdrop of the wooden stage. But for now, the enormous poster was spread across the gym floor. Homecoming committee members taking different portions and painting the son of a bitch. And of course, Eddie Kaspbrak, sitting and painting in his damn cheerleader garb. He’s wearing different shorts then he was yesterday, and none of the glitter. The sweater was slightly cropped but the sleeves were flowing off of him. To end with some cute red shorts, cotton socks and sky blue converse. He looked so comfortable, and absolutely adorable. He just wished that Eddie knew he was the guy on the football field. He sighed and entered with Beverly. Eddie was painting very messily, clearly trying to cover more ground than have attention to detail. Bill, sitting beside him was the exact opposite. Using a teeny brush to fill in a milkshake. Richie smiled at Eddie’s sloppy painting style, he was such a prim and proper guy, but in some quirky ways, he was amazingly messy. Richie concealed his blush by looking down, and tying his hair in two high pigtails, ready to paint, when his complexion dulled, he looked back at Beverly and gave a toothy smile.

“You’re such a fucking dork” Bev booped his nose and smiled.

“Beverly! Come here!” Eddie called out to her, Bill looking up at Bev with an awkward smile, and returned to the highlights of his milkshake.

Beverly and Bill never really cleared out their relationship, Bill was dating Stan, and Bev was pretty much head over heels with Ben. It was all just awkward. Beverly subtly shook her head and sat with Richie on the middle end of the poster and got at it.

-----

Why was Richie staring at me?

Eddie was trying his hardest to not look back at the punk asshole. He saw in the corner of his eye that Richie had tied his hair in pigtails and he rolled his eyes.

He thinks he’s just sooooo cool!

There was something about that boy that really grinded Eddie’s gears, he couldn’t just place his finger on it. He noticed Beverly with him and a feeling of guilt loomed over him, he’s just completely disregarded Beverly ever since June. And now she had to hang out with the guy with a trash mouth.

“Beverly! Come here!” He waved over to her, she didn’t say anything, she just shyly smiled and sat with Richie just a few feat away from him and Bill.

The rage in him filled, he didn’t blame Bev by any means, it was that damn Richie.

Stealing his friends

And stealing his crown.

Not today.

Not, in those dumb ass pigtails.

(His hair fell into such perfect little curly tails on the back of his head, his eyeliner still on, but smudged, not messy, but kinda sexy-)

Eddie shook his head and continued to paint his bolds strokes of red on the poster paper.

------

“Richie you keep painting outside the lines!” Bev chuckled at the pigtail wearing boy.

Richie was usually super precise with things like this, If the jukebox wasn’t perfect, he wasn’t going home. But he had other things on his mind, he needed to stop trying to look at Eddie, he just couldn’t help it, the way he bit his lip when he was concentrating on filling in the lines, how his curls were neat, but a few grazed over his long lashes.

“Sorry just thinking about-” He saw Eddie, looking at him, he swallowed deeply, and put on a long grin.

“Eddie’s mom.” Bev and Bill laughed, while Eddie’s face went bright red in anger.

“Shut up Richie!” Eddie yelled out, the homecoming committee laughing along to the two’s antics.

“She was wild Eddie! I’m surprised that you didn’t hear us!”

“Richie!” Eddie exclaimed

“Oh Richie! OOOOOhhhhhh Richie!!!!!” Richie let out a high pitched moan, the whole room was laughing out, Bev on the floor, holding her stomach, Richie sat on his knees, as Eddie stood up.

“Fuck you!” Eddie, by accident (or not) kicked a can of red paint over and it covered Richies half done jukebox, and his knees in a thick red coating.

Richie slowly looked up at Eddie, who was ready to apologize right away, when Richies smile turned into a short smirk as he dipped his hand in the crimson. He quickly flicked his fingers at Eddie’s face, getting a few splatters on the boy, causing him to flinch and have his eyebrows furrow, then arch. The room was silent. Eddie dipped both of his hands into the paint and ran up to Richie and smeared his hands over his face, Richie got up and started running to another part of the poster.

“Ah you fuck!” He laughed as he grabbed some blue and ran after Eddie, Eddie ran away, attempting to get the yellow but got a fat wad of blue paint on his back. Everyone in the room continued to laugh (especially Bev) and yell “FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!!!” as the two had a total paint war on the completely fucked poster.

“Richard and Edward! Come with me!” A very balding teacher yelled from the doorway.

“He started it!” The two paint covered boys yell at the same time, pointing to each other.

-------

“You’re such an asshole Richie.” Eddie states. The two red and blue boys sit in the desk chairs, both thinking they could be doing much better things in that moment, and now we’re stuck with each other. Richie was getting more and more pissed, mostly cause he’s missing a smoke break and was a tad irritated. Eddie’s constant blabbering about how he could’ve been doing homework too was not helping. And, why would he just assume Richie had no homework either? Richie’s gotten honours three years in a row, and he hates when people assume just cause he makes innuendoes he’s an idiot.

“Eddie, I know you’re in love with me, but could ya shut the fuck up?” Eddie rolled his eyes and stood up, preparing for another fight.

“It’s all your fault! You splashed that paint over me!”

Richie, at this point, was ready to actually fight. He stood up too.

“You ruined the painting! And got that shit all over my knees!”

“And yooooou got paint all over my favourite sweater!” Eddie places his fingers onto Richie’s chest. Richie walked away from the boy and to the window, seeing a couple of kids smoking and feeling extremely envious. Eddie followed behind him to get a few more words in.

“Eddi-”

“And I can’t even clean this! The teacher won’t let me wash it off! It’s gonna be ruined! Fuck yo-”

Eddie was interrupted by Richie angrily taking off his own sweater (with no shirt underneath) and whipping it at Eddie. He frustratingly sat back at his chair and put his head on the desk, his arms wrapping around his head.

Eddie quietly takes his sweater off and puts Richie’s black sweater with a Rose on the right breast. Eddie was surprised that it didn’t smell like cigarettes, it smelt like bubblegum. It was basically covering his shorts but he didn’t mind. He liked it.

Eddie shut up and slowly walked over to the boy, and sat in the chair beside him. He clearly had done enough. He awkwardly whispers to the boy.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Eddie tries to lighten the mood, and break the ice, he smiles and tucks Richie’s hair behind his ear. Richie is frozen.

“If my hair got that long, my mom would-”

Eddie is interrupted yet again, by the low moan of Richie Tozier.

------

Shit, fuck, fuck fuck fuuuuuckkkkk

Why did Eddie have to do that?

“What was that?” Eddie flinched as he pulled away.

“Nothing.”

“Come on Richie!”

“It was nothing!” Richie turns his head away from Eddie, attempting to conceal all the blush rushing to his face...and somewhere else.

Richie may be pretty shameless, but his hair kink was something he wasn’t gonna admit.

“Richie, seriously, what was that? You can tell me.” Eddie put his hand on Richie’s bare shoulder, Eddie shivered slightly, but hoped Richie didn’t notice.

He did.

He let out a deep sigh and looked up at Eddie, all those feelings came flowing back to him when he saw Eddie’s sparkling eyes.

“I just...reaaaly like when people play with my hair.”

He let out a crooked smile and looked down. Attempted to look at the floor but stopped at Eddie’s shorts.

So short.

“Are you saying, it turns you on?” Eddie half concealed his laugh.

Richie’s bright pink face was answer enough for the kid.

Eddie quietly looks at Richie for a couple moments, inspecting his soft hair and defined cheekbones.

“So, what else turns you on?”

Richie’s eyes dart to Eddie and crooks his neck. His pink face was now a bright red.

He let out a small chuckle, seeing if Eddie was actually serious,

And he was.

“Eddie drop it.”

He shot his eyes back at the floor, trying not to look at Eddie’s feet, which would lead to his legs, and to those tiny ass shorts…

But those legs sat up, and draped over Richies desk, Eddie sitting on it.

His shorts rode up more as he adjusted himself on the table.

Richie bit most of his lower lip to get out of the sheer compulsion, he was gonna kill him if he kept this up.

Eddie “innocently” starts nibbling on the sleeve of Richie’s sweatshirt, looking down at the blushing punk.

“Drop what?” Eddie rhetorically asks.

Richie looks up at Eddie’s cherry lip gloss and furrowed brows, the kid was damn torturing him, he hummed when Eddie continued to play with his hair. Richie’s hand compulsively grabbed the hem of Eddie’s (well, Richie’s) sweater and balled up into fists. He bit his lip so hard he was talking through his teeth.

“Eddie, you need to stop this shit right now.”

Eddie placed his cold hand on Richie’s freezing chest and looked devilishly in his eyes.

“Make me.”

Eddie had Richie wrapped around his finger and Richie couldn’t take it anymore. He grabbed Eddie’s back and slid him onto his lap. Eddie giggled at the action and was quickly shut up with Richie’s lips connecting to his own, Richie had his hands firmly pressed on Eddie’s back, concaving to his waist, pushing Eddie into him, Eddie had one hand in Richie’s hair and the other snaked around his warm neck. The two forcing each other into it, being rough, this wasn’t for love, as far as the other knew, they hated each other’s guts, and this was just between them.

If only Eddie remembered.

Richie licked Eddie’s bottom lip, to invite him in and Eddie automatically let him in, causing him to tug on Richie’s hair, Richie let out a low moan and buckled his hips, Eddie’s breath hitched at the quick grinding motion. He slowly let go of Richie’s hair and separated their lips, a thin string of saliva connecting them.

Richie groaned, not wanting to finish yet, and lifted his lips up to the boy. Eddie put his finger on Richie’s lips and smiled.

“I’ll be right back” Eddie’s voice sounded much more sultry, kind of a mess, speaking of a mess, for the first time since Richie’s seen him, his hair was in shambles, his face was blushed a deep pink, and his lips were stripped of gloss, now shared between the two. He swiftly got up, heading to the door, re-adjusting his shorts and scampered off into the halls. Richie sighed a shallow sigh and threw his head back.

What the actual fuck.

This is fucking ridiculous! How could he let this happen! He’s so fucking annoying!

But he couldn’t help but smile.

Now a dear question rang to Richie,

Should he strip?

I mean, what was Eddie going to go get?

Did he have the idea of just going at it in their english class?

He was down, but a bit sudden.

He stood up and looked at himself through the reflection of the window. His hair was a fucking disaster, his cateye was a greasy mess, and his bare chest was blushing red. He looked down and started taking off his jeans to reveal some triangle patterned boxers. Kicking his pants to the side. He looked back up at his own reflection to see a new smiling face appear at him through the window.

Eddie.

Richie ran to the window at a loss.

Eddie pulled up two middle fingers and ran across the field to freedom.

Richie cracked open the window and yelled out.

“Your mom will be hearing about this Eds!”

“Don’t call me Eds! Have a good detention, trashmouth!”

TAG LIST:

@richiescigarettes @mpsnudes

#reddie #reddie fanfic #Reddie fanfiction #itmovie

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winterflash-2019 · 7 years

Text

Better Part : 2

“What” Iris said she was completely shocked and hurt she spent all her time on thinking about her feelings for Barry and she wanted to tell him of course she loved Eddie but lately their relationship haven’t been going well.  “Her names Bria she’s amazing really I met her at Jitters and we went on a date and we became extremely close I want to make her mine but I wanted to tell you about her first it means a lot to me if my best friend likes her"Barry said with a smile on his face Iris felt like she got shot in the chest he looked so happy who was she to ruin that he deserves to be happy his whole life he suffered pain and loss and now he finally found someone who makes him happy  “She sounds amazing Barr I’m so happy for you but are you sure this is the one” iris said voice full of jealousy. “Of course I’m sure i was sure she was the one when I first met her but hey it means a lot to me that you like her you know actually her birthday is tomorrow thats when I was going to ask her out and I bought her a necklace with my name on it and I want to tell her I’m the flash what do you think” he says and at this point Iris wanted to punch this girl in the face Barry didn’t tell Iris he was the flash she had to find out for herself and Iris is his Best friend and now he meets some waitress in a coffee shop and he’s not even hesitate to tell her about him being a super hero wow just wow.  “ um Barr I don’t think you should tell her about being The flash you know she might feel uneasy about it ” Iris says hoping Barry won’t question it and take her advice. “I don’t think so she loves super heroes and since she’s about to be dating one I’m sure she’ll love it but thanks for talking to me I gotta go"Barry gives Iris a hug and speeds off to go visit Bria.  “Barry Allen she’s not good enough for you “iris says in a whisper. *with Barry and Bria*  "Hey Barr ” Bria says in a sleepy voice while rubbing her eyes. “Oh I’m sorry babe did I wake you cause if you was sleeping then I can come back lat-  "Barry its fine "she says while giggling "oh well okay just making sure um so I was going to wait until tomorrow to ask you this but I’m impatient and excited right now ” Barry says smiling like a kid on Christmas Day. “what is it Barr"Bria says "Well you make me feel like the happiest man alive your smile is so beautiful and whenever I get home after seeing you I miss you instantly you’re the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about before I go to bed I want something more between us…Im sure of this I love you and I always will Bria will you be mine"Barry says "Oh my gosh Yes "Bria says with tears in her eyes as Barry pulls her close and kisses her both hands holding her face as he put his heart and soul into the kiss. They pull away panting and smile at each other. ” Wow I’ve been wanting to do that since we first met “ Barry says and Bria just giggles "me too Barry Allen” Bria says with a wink “oh and one more thing "Barry says while smirking "what is it” Bria said backing away from Barry as she saw the mischievous look on his face. “I’m The Flash"Barry says and picks Bria up and speeds off to Star Labs. Barry puts Bria down and she slowly turns around with a look of awe on her face and jumps on Barry and wraps her legs around his waist "OH MY GOSH THIS IS SO COOL MY BOYFRIEND IS THE FLASH” she screams and Barry laughs and spins her around the cute moment was interrupted by a cough from Cisco. “So we just gonna act invisible Caitlyn” Cisco says sarcastically and Bria gets off Barry a little too fast considering she lands on her ass and Barry laughs and helps her up. “Bria this is Cisco Ramone and Caitlyn Snow the others are not here yet but this is part of Team Flash"Barry says as Cisco races to you "yeah hi I’m the brains of the group and Barry here can not and i mean will not shut up about you but I have to admit he has great taste"Cisco says and Barry slaps him on the back of the head as you giggle. "Hi I’m Caitlyn and I’m the doctor of the group and you are lovely Barry was right you are beautiful ” Caitlyn says and you blush “aw thank you you’re beautiful as well I’m loving the skirt” and Caitlyn just giggles and Barry is just watching the whole thing with a huge smile on his face. “Barr hey"he heard someone call his name he turns around to see Iris and she gives him a hug and Bria can’t help the jealousy that just washed over her. "Oh hey Iris this is Bria my girlfriend and Bria this is Iris my best friend "Barry says and Iris looks at her with a fake smile "hi it’s pleasure to meet you Barry told me a lot about you” Bria says with a shy voice honestly she was a little nervous Iris was more beautiful than she imagined she can’t compete with her Iris had silky long black hair beautiful brown eyes beautiful body and a killer smile and not to mention she’s girly iris had on a pink pencil skirt that stopped at her knees with a white long sleeved shirt and pink heels and her makeup was on point while Bria had on black shorts a white tank top and a polo hat with black converse way to go Bria a basic outfit she says in her head. “Oh well that’s Barry for you always talking about me ” Iris said and put her hand on Barry’s shoulder. “So Barr are you still coming to the CCPD party tonight my dad says there’s going to be some guys you’ll have to talk too"iris says while smiling lovingly at Barry and Bria can’t help but think if iris has a thing for Barry. "Oh yeah I totally forgot thanks for reminding me I’ll bring Bria too so she can meet Joe"Barry says and smiles at Bria and she gives him a small smile back. "Oh right okay I’ll see you there "Iris said and hugs Barry one more time and as Barry back is turned she glares at Bria before walking away. "Um Barry what about Yorkin we still haven’t figured out a way to beat him” Cisco says while chewing on a twizzler. “Shit um where’s Julian I thought he was doing the DNA samples from Yorkin"Barry says as he sits down and Bria sits on his lap. "Well if you must know Julian is being a dick and is doing other DNA samples so we have no type of information until he’s finished” Cisco says annoyed by the thought of Julian. “Well I’ll bring the samples tomorrow okay guys"Barry says and speeds off to Bria’s house. "Babe I think I just want to stay home I’m not really feeling well” Bria says lying straight through her teeth she didn’t want to go the that CCPD party if Iris was going to be there it didn’t take long to crack the code and figure out Iris didn’t like her because if Barry. “Aw babe please with a cherry on top i want you to meet my foster dad he’ll love you you’re amazing"Barry said with a puppy dog face that you couldn’t resist. ” Fine you win this one Allen” Bria says as she turns around to go dig in her closet and Barry slaps her ass. “I couldn’t resist it was jiggly"Barry says with a smirk and Bria just shakes her head “you cheeky bastard"she says laughing and Barry gives her a quick kiss before speeding off to go get ready for the party. *time skip* Barry walked in the doors to the CCPD while holding Bria’s hand. Bria had on a dark blue v neck dress that stopped at her ankles and it had a slit on the left side it made her look super sexy some of his coworkers were already looking at Bria up and down and it was pissing Barry off. "Barry over here” Joe called and Barry began to walk toward the man. “Hey Joe this is my girlfriend Bria and Bria this is my foster dad Joe"Barry said nervously. "Hi its a pleasure to meet you Barry here would not quit talking about how pretty you are and he was right"Joe said and Bria blushed. ” Thank you its nice meeting you you’re a wonderful man taking Barry in when he was little” Bria said while shaking Joe’s hand . “Thank you um Barry they’re 3 guys here that you have to win over with your brain it shouldn’t be hard you nerd"Joe says while laughing and Barry just shakes his head "you live to mess with me"Barry says and Bria giggles as Barry kisses her cheek and walks off. Bria and Joe was having a deep conversation and Joe took a liking to Bria like his 2nd daughter and Bria found her self becoming comfortable with him telling each other jokes and laughing their asses off until iris came along. “Hi daddy” Iris says and hugs Joe and fake smiles at you “hi Bia was it” iris said and Bria mentally rolled her eyes. So iris wanted to be petty okay I’ll play along. “no its BRIA dont you remember isis"Bria says with a smile and iris just laughs it off and looked at a guy with blonde hair and blue eyes as he was making his way over to the group. "Hey Joe Hey babe"he greets Joe and Iris with a kind smile. "So Iris whose your friend "he says while looking at Bria like she’s a piece of meat. "This is Barry’s girl friend Bria"iris says with a bored tone in her voice. "hi I’m Eddie Irises fiancé and Joes partner"he says as he shakes your hand. Bria’s POV So Iris had a fiancé…why the hell shes all over my man then. Her fiancé is giving me the creeps he just keeps staring into my soul *sighs* just go with the flow for now Bria . Ughh Barr come back to me. End of POV "Hi it’s nice to meet you” Bria says and smiles at the blonde man named Eddie “So Bria where do you work” Eddie asks “um I’m currently working at Jitters but I’m actually looking for a new job"Bria says starting to feel comfortable again until she heard iris mumble"way to go Barry picking up waitresses now” under her breath it made Bria’s eye twitch since she was short tempered but she had to hold off for Barry’s sake and it’s killing her. “Oh well you’re in luck there’s a position open to be me and Joe’s assistant here at the CCPD all you have to do is help with reports and get us coffee and donuts ” Eddie says while chuckling and Iris just looks at him with a look of disbelief on her face. “Babe Barry wouldn’t want her to be involved with police business she can get hurt"iris said trying to convince Eddie to see things her way. "Actually iris she doesn’t have to go to the crime scenes she just do whatever we tell her” Joes says agreeing with Eddie for once in his life. “Well okay I’ll take it"Bria says and iris looks at her with a disgusted face "oh my gosh im gonna go"Iris said and walks off "I’ll go talk to Singh for you"Joe said and leaves as well leaving Bria and Eddie to themselves and lets just say it was awkward as hell. Eddie interrupts the awkward silence by clearing his throat "so Bria do you want to sit and talk” he says with a smile. “Yes please cause these heels are kicking my ass at the moment ” Bria says and Eddie laughs and grabs to glasses of wine off a nearby waiters tray and gives one to Bria. “So tell me about you and Barry” he says 20 minutes later Eddie and Bria are laughing their asses off. “You know Bria I like you you’re going to be my best friend okay"eddie says as Bria was holding her stomach from laughter. "Okay bestie tell me everything you know about Barry and Iris” Bria says without realizing how forward that was. “Well they been best friends for a long time they’re extremely close I get jealous sometimes cause I can’t help but think they’re something more but now that Barry has found you I don’t have to worry anymore” Eddie says with a small smile on his face and Bria just gives a weak smile back as her eyes welled up with tears. “Hey Bria are you okay"Eddie ask concern filled in his voice. "Its just I love Barry so much I don’t want to lose him ” Bria says and looks up at Eddie who’s heart broke instantly when he saw the tears rolling down Bria’s face. “ Hey Barry loves you and I see why listen you are caring, patient, sweet, beautiful I can go on all day and I just met you that’s saying something Barry is not going to give all that away” Eddie says and wipes Bria’s tears away and Bria smiles at him “thanks bestie ” she says and they both laugh. “Hey babe I see you met Eddie"Barry says "yeah he was giving me abs with all this laughing "Bria said with a smile on her face. "That’s excellent that you guys are getting along Eddie do you mind if I take my amazing girl away to dance"Barry says and touches Bria’s shoulder "Not at all Barr I have to go find Iris anyway "Eddie says . "Oh I just talked to her she seemed upset she went to the bathroom ” Barry says and looks at you “oh well okay thanks barr and enjoy your dance bestie” Eddie says and winks at Bria and she laughs and suddenly Barry becomes best friends with Jealousy

#barry allen imagine #barry allen #the flash #grant gustin #series

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hannahhhhify · 7 years

Text

Chapter 185: please talk to me

John’s POV:

When Olivia and I got home today the house was super quiet. When I went to our room, I noticed that there was a suitcase half packed on the floor, which is weird. And then I noticed that Karie and Edward were both in bed sleeping. Karie was laying on her back, and Edward was right next to her on his stomach, hugging onto her. I walked closer and I noticed the hairbrush laying on the bed next to them. And Edward’s tearstained face. Karie definitely spanked him, there’s no doubt about that. But I’m not sure if she spanked him for the fight at school today, or if she spanked him for something else. I pulled some covers up over them, careful not to wake them up. and then I left the room, closing the door quietly behind me.

Olivia: “where is momma?”

John: “They are taking a nap together” she smiled

Olivia: “that’s cute, Edward tries to hate us, but deep down I know he loves us”

John: “He at least loves you and your mom”

Olivia: “he loves you too daddy”

John: “I don’t know about that” I said chuckling. “Do you want to help me find something to cook for dinner?” she nodded, and we went into the kitchen, and we looked through are stuff to try to find something that sounds good.

John: “so did you talk to Demi, after everything happened?”

Olivia: “I thought they were going to let her go home, but she ended up staying for the rest of the day, she seemed okay. it was stupid though, they were horrible to her”

John: “Edward told me about it” I said sighing. “I wish I would have came sooner” we finally decided on what to make, and she told me about the rest of her day while we cooked. When it was finished Olivia started making the table, and I went back to my room and I walked over to them and I ran my fingers though Edwards hair, and he moved around, making Karies eyes blink open. “Olivia and I made dinner” Karie smiled

Karie: “thank you” she said untangling herself from Edwards grip. Edward made a whiney sound and Karie shook him a little and he finally opened his eyes. “come eat dinner with us” he nodded and stretched for a second before climbing over Karie and out of the bed.

Edward: “can I go put pajama pants on?” Karie and I both nodded and he left the room.

John: “so you spanked him?” she nodded and got out of bed.

Karie: “I know you planned on disciplining him when you got home, but we have plans, so I decided it would be easier for me to just get it over with”

John: “Plans?” I asked confused. Karie smiled and nodded.

Karie: “Paul and Denise are sending us on a little mini weekend getaway. And Olivia and Edward are both staying with them”

John: “whoa, what? why?”

Karie: “they wanted to do something special for us, in return for helping them out”

John: “but I already told Paul we didn’t need them to do anything”

Karie: “I told Denise that too, but she wouldn’t take no for an answer… and they already paid for the whole weekend, and it’s none refundable”

John: “Then they should go! we can watch the kids, they deserve some time alone”

Karie: “I already asked Denise that, she said they couldn’t go. Zac is sick, and Matthew is leaving on Monday, and Zac’s father has court on Monday, so they need to be home this weekend… so we either need to go, or they would have paid for the trip for nothing” I sighed

John: “Paul is so sneaky. I told him so many times that we didn’t need anything”

Karie: “I know babe, I’m kind of shocked too. But we haven’t gone on a trip on our own in years… don’t you kinda want to go?” she said smiling at me. I smiled back and gave her a kiss.

John: “I would love some alone time with you… I just feel awful making them pay for it… that private school is insanely expensive and I know they are struggling…. We don’t help out because we want something in return, we do it because we want too.”

Karie: “I told Denise that, but she wouldn’t listen, she said they put aside money for it, because they want to. you know how Paul is… do you want to call and argue with him? I bet he will win” she said smirking at me.

John: “no, I don’t want to do that” she laughed.

Karie: “didn’t think so.. they already paid for it, so lets just go, we can try to pay them back later” I nodded.

John: “so when are we going?”

Karie: “well, Paul and Denise were supposed to go on a date tonight, but Zac isn’t feeling well, so they can’t go, Denise said we can bring the kids over at any time, but Paul and the boys aren’t there at the moment, so if we leave now, they won’t be there.”

John: “we can wait a little bit then” she nodded.

-----------------------------

Paul’s POV:

I’m at Dan’s house hanging out, because the kids have been begging me to let them come see Matthew, because he is leaving in a few days and all my boys are sad about it. So I’ve been here for a couple hours. and I’m actually going to be heading home soon. but I’ve noticed that Dan has been acting a little strange today, he has been quiet and kind of distant the whole time I’ve been here, and that isn’t normal for him. He may just be tired because I know him and Deb both haven’t been getting much sleep, because Bethany keeps them up all night. He went into the kitchen so I decided now was a good time to try to figure out what’s up with him, so I got up and followed him into the kitchen, and I watched quietly as he got himself a glass of water and then he turned around and when he saw me behind him he jumped and spilled a little of his water.

Dan: “Paul! Geez! I didn’t know anybody was in here” he said grabbing something to wipe up the water with. I chuckled.

Paul: “sorry Dan, I just wanted to talk to you”

Dan: “what’s up?” he said taking a sip of water

Paul: “I’m wondering the same for you?”

Dan: “huh?” he asked confused.

Paul: “your acting weird today”

Dan: “No I’m not” I raised my eyebrow and gave him a ‘yeah right’ look and he rolled his eyes. “I’m fine” he said trying to walk past me. I pressed my hand against his shoulder though and pushed him back and he groaned.

Paul: “don’t lie to me” He sighed

Dan: “I’m not”

Paul: “Daniel” I said using a stern voice, making him shiver a little. “I know you very well, and I know something is off, so trying to lie to me is pointless, I know you.” I said crossing my arms. “I’ve been here since I got out of work and you haven’t said much of anything in all that time. Are you irritated that we are here? Do you want me to leave?”

Dan: “No! I love when you guys are around… that’s not it”

Paul: “that’s not it? So I was right then, there is something. I knew you were acting strange. So now tell me what’s up.” he sighed.

Dan: “I’ve been missing my dad today, and… I’ve been treating Matthew like shit, because I’m so mad that he signed up for the army and there’s nothing I can do about it…. I haven’t talked to him in two days”

Paul: “Daniel…” I said in a disappointed tone. he looked down.

-----------------------------

Meanwhile Edward’s POV:

After dinner John talked to me a little more about what happened at school. I thought he was going to yell at me. but he didn’t. he just told me that those kids got suspended. and then he pretty much just told me not to fight with kids at school again. and right now I’m packing my backpack, because we are staying at Paul’s This weekend. Paul’s the first person I met, so I am actually really excited to see him, and I’m excited to hangout with the boys too. Especially Frankie. When I found out that Frankie was adopted, I instantly felt closer to him, just because even though he is really little, he remembers what it feels like to not have a home, and it makes me feel like someone understands. there was a soft knock on the doorframe of my bedroom. I rolled my eyes.

Edward: “I can pack myself..” I mumbled, rolling my eyes. Karie and John always hover over me after a punishment, like they need to be close, or like they are scared I’m going to leave or something.

Sam: “Where you running off too?” I turned and gasped

Edward: “Sammy!” I said throwing my pile of clothes on the bed before running over and jumping into his arms. “I thought you weren’t coming today”

Sam: “we were just standing around waiting, so I decided to sneak away to come see you for just a little bit”

Edward: “I’m so glad you did” I whispered, burying my face into his chest.

Sam: “are you okay babe?” I nodded.

Edward: “j-just missed you” I mumbled.

Sam: “I missed you too Eddie… Kiss?” I pulled away from him, so he could kiss me, but he frowned. “Have you been crying?”

Edward: “I got in a fight today” his eyes went wide

Sam: “are you okay?” he said looking me over. I nodded my head. “What happened?” I sighed and I told him everything those kids said, and what that one kid said about me… and just as I expected he was pissed. Sammy is protective of me, and I knew he would be mad about what he said.

Sam: “What was that kids name?” he more demanded rather then asked. I rolled my eyes.

Edward: “don’t worry about it Sam, that kid got suspended, and punched in the face”

Sam “He called you a fag, and told you to suck his dick! You are telling me who he is, because I’m going to have a talk with him” I rolled my eyes

Edward: “what are you going to do? Beat up a high schooler and then go to jail Sammy? Don’t be stupid... I handled it”

Sam: “well it obviously upset you, because you were crying about it. I won’t beat him up, just give me his name, I want to talk to him” I shook my head no.

Edward: “I’m not giving you his name Sammy, and I didn’t cry because of him, I cried because I got in trouble for it” I said pouting and looking down. Sam immediately pulled me back into his arms.

Sam: “why did they spank you for that? You were just standing up for yourself, and Demi” I pulled away from him and pouted.

Edward: “Karie said she spanked me because if I continue to cause trouble at school, the state could take me away and put me in a group home, or juvie, and she doesn’t want that to happen to me”

Sam: “I don’t want that to happen to you either” he said looking down. “but she didn’t need to hurt you.. that’s not fair”

Edward: “tell me about it” I said pouting and rubbing my bottom.

Sam: “Edward… stop pouting, you are making me sad” he said cupping my face with his hands. “I’m sorry you got in trouble.. I wish I could help, but I don’t know how”

Edward: “well.. I’m still waiting for that kiss” He smiled and leaned in and started kissing me. my eyes closed and my hands started exploring his body. And we deepened the kiss. He pushed me back and I fell back onto the bed, and I yelped, both in surprise and pain from my backside. He climbed on top of me, and he started grinding against me. I moaned and he started sucking on my neck.. I moaned again, louder and pushed him back and he pouted. “sammy… as good as your making me feel, my doors open…. And you are hurting me.. please get off” his eyes went wide and he jumped off of me. I rolled over onto my side

Sam: “I’m so sorry Eddie, I didn’t mean it! I f-forgot… I-I didn’t-“

Edward: “it’s okay… just come here” I mumbled. He climbed into bed next to me.

Sam: “I’m so sorry babe, I knew you were in pain… I’m such an idiot! I forgot”

Edward: “stop feeling bad Sammy, I’m okay” he nodded. “I love you”

Sam “I love you too baby… I um… I’m sorry it got too heated, I just miss you”

Edward: “I miss you too, and… I liked it. I didn’t want to stop, but… the door” I said awkwardly. Sammy laughed.

Sam: “yeah, you weren’t being very quiet” I blushed and buried my face into his chest.

Edward: “shut up!” I whined. Sammy giggled, he loves making me blush.

Sam: “I need to go soon though… I have a lot of work to do”

Edward: “wait… I want you to tell me what you didn’t want to tell me last night” I said pulling away to look at him. he instantly started looking guilty.

Sam: “um… can we talk about it later? Please?”

Edward: “I’m not letting you go until you tell me this time” I said wrapping my arms around him.

Sam: “you’re going to be mad at me” he said looking down.

Edward: “Sammy…. You are freaking me out… please just tell me”

Sam: “o-okay.. Um… my roommate and I are h-helping his cousin move….” He said biting his lip. I pulled away from him and ignored the pain in my backside and sat up.. All the pain and hurt from when he kissed her rushed back in and my eyes filled with tears. He sat up too “Eddie! Please don’t be mad!”

Edward: “Don’t be mad??? Sammy! Why are you helping her?? I don’t want you near her!” I yelled. All I can think about is when I walked in seeing her kissing MY Sammy, and it makes me want to throw up.

Sam: “I’m not helping her… I’m helping my roommate... she doesn’t do anything, and his family is making him help her, he needed some help”

Edward: “fuck that” I said climbing over him, and getting off the bed.

Sam: “I knew you would be mad…”

Edward: “Of course I’m mad!!! You cheated on me with her!”

Sam: “Don’t say that Edward…. We were br-broken up, it didn’t mean anything to me!”

Edward: “Sammy… if you saw me kissing someone else, how would you feel about me helping that person move?... because it makes me feel bad Sammy… really bad” He was silent for a long time, before standing up.

Sam: “I promise that nothing is going on between her and I… I love you, I love you more then I love myself Eddie… I know I hurt you and I’m so sorry… and your right, if it was switched, I wouldn’t like it… I understand why you are upset. I’m sorry”

Edward: “I don’t want you to help her…”

Sam: “I a-already promised my roommate that I w-would help him, he said he would pay some of my half of the rent…” he said biting his lip.. “I.. I don’t want to upset you, but I don’t want to ditch him last minute like this” I turned and left the room. he called after me but I ignored him. I went and found John and Karie, they were sitting on the couch watching something on tv.

Edward: “Hey…. Um… Can I ask you guys something?” they both turned to me.

John: “what’s up?” He said as Sammy jogged over to us.

Edward: “I know that I’m supposed to go to Paul and Denise’s house, but can I please go help Sammy’s skanky girl move?”

Karie: “What??” she said confused.

Sam: “Edward! She isn’t my ‘Skanky Girl’…. She’s just my roommate’s cousin”

Edward: “She’s had her tongue down your throat! As far as I am concerned she’s a-“

Karie: “Okay… Edward, I don’t like that word, it’s mean!”

Edward: “But she is a-“

Karie: “would you like me to wash your mouth out with soap, for the second time today Edward?” she asked sternly. I bit my lip and shook my head no.

Edward: “sorry” I mumbled. I felt the heat in my face from my embarrassment.

John: “now what’s going on? I’m still confused” I sighed.

Edward: “Sam agreed to help his roommate’s cousin move, and she’s the girl that he kissed when we were b-broken up…. and I know that I have to go over to Paul’s… but I was wondering if I could go help him, help her move”

Karie: “are you sure that’s a good idea Edward? Are you just wanting to go to start a fight with her?”

Edward: “No, I want to go because I just want Sam to hurry up, and then get as far away from her as possible as fast as possible”

John: “I don’t think that’s a good idea Edward… we aren’t even going to be here”

Edward: “Please?” I said pouting. “I’ll be really good, I won’t say anything mean to her” when they still didn’t answer, I walked over and climbed into Johns lap, and I give them both my puppy dog eyes and pouty face. “pleaseee?” I said in my sweetest voice. John looked over at Karie, and she shrugged.

John: “Sam.. do you even want him to come with you?” I looked over at sam and glared at him. letting him know I’ll be so mad at him if he says no.

Sam: “I mean… if he wants too” He said sighing.

John: “will you be able to bring him to the Jonas house after?” He nodded. “How late are you going to be?”

Sam: “I don’t know..”

John: “can you have him back there by 10pm?”

Sam: “Yes sir” I smiled and looked back at Karie and John.

Edward: “So…. Can I go?”

John: “I guess so” YES! I went to get up, but he grabbed my arm so that I couldn’t.

John: “But you better be good Edward, you need to actually help them. Don’t get in the way.”

Karie: “and definitely leave that girl alone” John nodded.

John: “If you aren’t good, Paul will have no problem putting you over his knee” I pouted

Edward: “stop it” I whined. “why do you guys have to be so embarrassing?” they both chuckled and John wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a much unwanted hug. I just pouted and let him. and he kissed the top of my head.

John: “Be good” he warned. I nodded

Edward: “yes sir... thank you for letting me go” I mumbled, pulling away from him. he nodded.

John: “we will be back early Monday morning, I’ll pick you up for school”

Edward: “okay”

-----------------------------------

Dan’s POV:

I can’t handle Paul’s disappointed tone. it makes me feel terrible.

Paul: “You are going to regret treating him like that Daniel” he said sternly.

Dan: “that’s what Matthew said”

Paul: “Then why are you doing it? Don’t you think this is hard enough on him already?”

Dan: “I’m just scared Paul… He could have waited 6 months! And I needed that time with him! I don’t want him to go”

Paul: “This is what he wants to do Daniel, you can’t stop him, you need to just support him”

Dan: “I don’t have to do anything”

Paul: “Daniel”

Dan: “Stop calling me that!” I whined. he rolled his eyes.

Paul: “whatever DAN… Matthew is leaving, Do you really want to spend what might be your LAST weekend with him treating him like this? think about it” he said sounding pissed.

Dan: “Are you saying he is going to die???” I said with wide eyes. Paul’s face softened a little bit.

Paul: “I… I’m sure he will be okay, but you aren’t going to see him again for a long time… it’s possible that he.. he could get into some danger, I think… you should spend as much time with him as possible… you can be mad later, you don’t have much time” He said softly, I can tell he is trying not to upset me, but his words are true… I just can’t be happy for Matthew, I can’t support him going. I’m so scared.

Dan: “why can’t I get him t-to stay?” I said starting to cry... Paul immediately wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his chest. I closed my eyes and cried into his shoulder.

Paul: “he is growing up...”

Dan: “but I’m grown up, and I still listen to you” I mumbled. Paul laughed and pulled me closer

Paul: “Not all the time” he said kissing my head. “I know you are scared, but he probably is too… he needs you, and you need to suck it up and be there for him” Paul is so good at telling you exactly how it is. Which is great! I can always count on him to call me out on stuff, but sometimes I just want to be stubborn and mad, and this is one of those times. I’m so heartbroken because I tried soo hard to get my baby brother to stay with us, I begged him to wait for just the 6 months that they give him off, but he won’t. I really think that we need time. I don’t think either of us have had any time to grieve the loss of our father.

Dan: “but the thought of Matthew h-having to go through this p-pain from lo-losing our father alone kills me…. He c-can’t leave Paul… I need him to stay”

Paul: “I know… but this is his decision, and I’m sorry but you can’t change it for him” he said softly… and the sad part is, he is right. There’s not a damn thing I can do about it, and it hurts… I wish Matthew would just listen to me.

Frankie came in and asked Paul for a snack. So I pulled away from Paul and I turned towards the sink, so that hopefully he won’t notice my tears. I wiped my eyes as Paul responded. “No, We are going to go home in a minute Frankie. Why don’t you go tell the boys that we are leaving?”

Frankie: “But I don’t want to go home yet!” he whined.

Paul: “Frankie, don’t argue with me okay? we need to go home because Edward and Olivia are coming over tonight, and Zac is sick… So go get your brothers and tell them we are leaving… now”

Frankie: “Okay daddy” Frankie mumbled. I could practically hear the pout in his voice. he left the room and I took a deep breath to try to get my emotions under control. This has been soooo much harder for me this time, then it was for me the first time Matthew left. SMACK SMACK! I jumped and my eyes went wide and I twirled around to look at Paul in shock. He chuckled at me.

Paul: “Talk to him” he said sternly. I rolled my eyes. “I mean it Daniel. You need to talk to him, and if you don’t stop being so stubborn… you know what I’ll do” he said crossing his arms. I internally groaned. I hate when he starts acting all ‘Big Brother’ on me. “It’s only hurting you both more, and you know it” I sighed and nodded.

Dan: “I’ll talk to him…” I said quietly. He nodded.

Paul: “You better”

----------------------------------

Drake’s POV:

My dad works tonight, so I came over to the Lautner house to spend the night. I went to my old bedroom, and I knocked on the door, because I don’t live here anymore, so it feels weird to just walk in. Uncle Matt opened the door and smiled at me, and pulled me into a hug.

Uncle Matt: “did you bring your guitar?”

Drake: “No” I said when he pulled away. he pouted.

Uncle Matt: “I miss listening to you play it already”

Drake: “I’m sorry uncle Matt, I don’t have a key to our apartment yet, or else I would go get it”

Uncle Matt: “that’s okay, come in” he said stepping aside. I walked in past him and I could hear someone in the shower.

Drake: “is Taylor in there?”

Uncle Matt: “Yeah. He should be done soon… but I call dibs on using the shower next” I smiled and nodded. and we started talking about everything he has to do before he leaves on Monday, and I tried to not look to sad about it. I don’t want him to go. but everyone is sad, and it’s making it so much harder for him to go, so I’m trying to put a smile on my face and be happy for him, but I know that he can see right through it.

Drake: “will you still call me, even though I don’t live here anymore?” he turned from his phone and looked at me confused.

Uncle Matt: “Of course I will Drake, don’t be silly… I don’t have much phone time, but I will try to talk to all of you as much as I can” I nodded and he went back to whatever he was doing on his phone. Soon the bathroom door opened, and Taylor walked out with a towel around his waist. When he saw me he glared at me, and then he walked over to get some clothes. I knew he was mad at me… I bit my lip.

Uncle Matt: “did you use up all of the hot water?”

Taylor: “maybe” Taylor said smirking at him. Uncle Matt groaned.

Uncle Matt: “I’m taking a shower” he said grabbing his phone, and going into the bathroom. A few seconds later we heard his music turn on. Taylor finished getting dressed and then he went to leave the room.

Drake: “Taylor… are you mad at me?”

Taylor: “Yes” was all said before he left the room.

Drake: “Taylor!” I called after him.

Taylor: “WHAT?” he snapped at me, stepping back in the door way to glare at me… my lip started trembling, and my eyes filled with tears because I already feel like I’m going to lose my big brother, because I moved, and now I feel like that even worse because he hates me. When In he saw that that I was starting to cry, he rolled his eyes at me. “I don’t want to see you, or talk to you! I’m going to go sleep in someone else’s room”

Drake: “But-“ He shut the door on me and left me here… alone. the tears that were in my eyes rolled down my face. I guess I deserve this. I looked around the room, unsure what to do. I should just go home… I wiped my tears and tried my best to suck it up. and once I got my tears under control, I left the room and went to look for Dan. He was hanging out with Bethany and with Taylor. I took a deep breath before walking over to them. “Can I go home?” I asked Dan. Both him and Taylor looked at me.

Dan: “why?”

Drake: “I can’t sleep, I want my bed” I lied… I could care less about my bed.

Dan: “when your bed was here you barely ever slept in it… You always slept with Taylor, or Matthew, or us even, you don’t miss your bed”

Drake: “yes I do”

Dan: “no you don’t. and you’re not going home”

Drake: “why?”

Dan: “because you just snuck out last night! if you think we are going to let you stay home by yourself, you are wrong”

Drake: “please? I just want to go home” he was silent for second, looking really confused… Ugh I really want him to let me go.. Taylor doesn’t want me here.

Dan: “what’s wrong Drake? Why do you want to go home?” I glanced over at Taylor for a second, and he just looked annoyed. I sighed.

Drake: “I don’t want to be here” another lie… I love it here. I saw hurt flash across Dan’s face.

Dan: “well, your dads at work, and we don’t have a key yet, you can’t anyway”… oh yeah.

Taylor: “he is just being annoying Dad” Taylor said rolling his eyes. “I’ll put him to bed” before I could even protest, Taylor picked me up and threw me over his shoulder.

Drake: “TAYYYLER! Put me down!” I yelled, hitting at his back. he retaliated by hitting my already really sore butt! “OWWW!” I whined as he carried me back to his room. He walked over and tossed me into his bed.

Taylor: “Don’t get out of this bed” he said sternly. and then he started walking away

Drake: “Taylor” I said grabbing his wrist.

Taylor: “what!?” he yelled, super impatient.

Drake: “please talk to me” I whispered.

Taylor: “No” he said pulling his wrist out of my grip

Drake: “But-“

Taylor: “Shut up and go to bed” I couldn’t help but let my tears fall again… all I want is for him to hug me, and make me feel better, and he won’t even talk to me.. “I practically begged my dad to let me go see you last night Drake. I was so sad when I came home and all your stuff was gone, I wanted to see you, and be close to you, because I don’t want you to leave… But little did I know, you were just thinking about sneaking out to be with your girlfriend the whole time”

Drake: “it wasn’t like th-“

Taylor: “It was like that! Now go to bed, because I don’t want to be around you tonight” he said storming over to the light and flicking it off before leaving the room, slamming the door behind him as he went. leaving me completely alone… AGAIN! today has been horrible… my dad slept pretty much all day, and then we ate dinner and he dropped me off here. It’s just been me alone with my thoughts all day, and honestly my thoughts aren’t very good right now.. I feel so alone, it’s actually painful and heartbreaking how alone I feel… I just want somebody, anybody to come hug me, and tell me it’s going to be okay.. and tell me they love me. anybody… I turned onto my side, facing the wall, and I pulled my knees up to my chest, and my tears ran down my face.. and I just stared at the wall and cried silently. After a little while I heard uncle Matthew come out of the bathroom, and I moved a little, kind of hoping that he would notice I’m awake and come hug me, or talk to me or something.. but he didn’t. I heard him leave the room and I just started crying harder. I think it took me a couple hours to fall asleep. I hope Taylor isn’t mad at me forever… I didn’t think about how he would feel if he woke up and I wasn’t there. I should have thought about that though…

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Sam’s POV:

Edward has been soo bratty all night. He is lucky I love him to death, because my goodness he can be so annoying sometimes. Him and my roommates cousin are both secretly competing with each other on who can get my attention, which is just pissing me off, because I’m just trying to get the stuff loaded up into the truck. We are almost done though, we have all the furniture packed into the truck, and most of the boxes. Right now I’m walking over to grab some more boxes when his cousin dropped something and bent over directly in front of me, making me almost walk right into her. Edward shoved her down and they started screaming at each other. I looked at my roommate and he rolled his eyes.

Sam: “Can you take care of the rest of this?” he nodded and fist bumped me. and thanked me for helping, and then I dragged Edward out of there.

Edward: “She thinks she is so hot?? She’s gross!” He yelled as we got to my car.

Sam: “Edward! She’s a girl! You can’t just shove her down like that!”

Edward: “She did that on purpose!” I sighed and opened the passenger door for him. “She bent over right in front of you!”

Sam: “will you get in?” I said gesturing towards the car. he rolled his eyes and got in and I closed his door for him and walked around to the driver’s side of the car and got in.

Edward: “And did you see those clothes she was wearing?? Seriously? Those shorts were so short her butt was hanging out of them!” he ranted

Sam: “Well… Nice to know that you were checking her out”

Edward: “WHAT?? are you kidding?” he said glaring at me.

Sam: “Eddie, I wasn’t looking at her butt. I was looking at yours” I said smirking at him.

Edward: “Good” he said crossing his arms.

Sam: “I knew I shouldn’t have brought you” I said sighing.

Edward: “Why? So you could make out with her?”

Sam: “NO! Edward! You know that’s not true! Stop being so jealous of her… I’m not interested in her… I thought we already been through this?” I started the car and started driving over to Paul’s house. Edward yelled at me the whole way about her… once we pulled up to Paul’s house I was so over it. “If you don’t shut the fuck up, I’m going to tell Paul how much of a brat you acted like!” I snapped at him.

Edward: “you wouldn’t do that” he said rolling his eyes… he is right about that. I wouldn’t do that. But damn.

Sam: “I’m sorry I said I would help, I shouldn’t have… But Edward, you need to stop being so jealous of her, I promise I don’t like her. You are making this a bigger deal then it is”

Edward: “Sammy… I’m sorry. I just don’t like her… all I can think about is that kiss I saw, and I just don’t want to lose you…”

Sam: “you’re not going to lose me Edward… I’m yours okay? only yours. I love you… some girl in short shorts isn’t going to change that” he nodded. “you have a half an hour before you need to go inside… can we stop fighting please?” He nodded.

Edward: “I’m sorry I acted like a brat” he said biting his lip.

Sam: “It’s okay, I’m used to it” he rolled his eyes

Edward: “then why do you stay with me?” he said unbuckling his seatbelt, and climbing over to sit in my lap.

Sam: “Because you’re my favorite person, and my best friend, and I love you… and I know it’s my fault that you are so jealous.” I said looking down. “I’m sorry”

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Zac’s POV:

Ugh… I feel like crap. Denise and Paul have been taking care of me though. and I’ve been cuddling with the doggies, and the best part was that I didn’t have to do my homework tonight. I sat up in the bed and ran my fingers through my hair. I’m starting to get a headache too, and I’m freezing, and I kind of just want to sleep. But I can’t stop thinking about my dad… I haven’t talked to him in awhile… I reached over and grabbed my phone, and I called him.

(Phone Conversation)

Dave: “Hello?”

Zac: “Hey, I missed you”

Dave: “Who the fuck is this?” he slurred.

Zac: “Daddy… it’s me, it’s Zac”

Dave: “What do you want?”

Zac: “I… just wanted to talk to you..” I said biting my lip. “Did you delete my contact on your phone… dad?”

Dave: “The Fuck am I going to keep it for? You aren’t my son anymore” my breath caught in my throat. I shouldn’t have called him.

Zac: “I.. I’m still your son, dad”

Dave: “No. I don’t think so”

Zac: “D-Do you want to see me, before Monday?” I heard a giggle from like a woman in the background and I sighed. He is with a girl.

Dave: “No.”

Zac: “please daddy? I haven’t seen you in a long time”

Dave: “and who’s fault is that?!” he yelled. Just then Paul walked into the room and the second he saw the hurt on my face, he knew who I was talking to. He frowned and sat some medicine on the night stand, and then he sat on the bed beside me. close enough to where he probably can hear what my dad’s saying to me. I sighed.

Zac: “It’s my fault” I mumbled. Paul gave me a stern look, clearly he disagrees with what I said.

Dave: “Damn right it is. And if I get Jail time I’m never going to talk to you again”

Zac: “But Dad… I c-can’t do a-anything… I do-don’t want you to go to jail again”

Dave: “Why did you call me? I’m busy!” I looked down

Zac: “I’m sick a-and I j-just-“

Dave: “I don’t give a Damn Zachary. I hope you die then, it would save me lots of trouble” I went to reply but Paul snatched the phone away from me before I could. He quickly got off the bed, and left the room. but I could hear him yelling at my dad. I whimpered and laid back down in the pillows and I brought the comforter up over my face. Paul came back a few minutes later and he tugged the blanket away from me.

Paul: “Zac, you aren’t seeing him this weekend…. I’m sorry”

Zac: “I kn-knew he wouldn’t want to see me”

Paul: “I’m so sorry Zac, I don’t even know what to say… I know you love him, and want him to be in your life, but… he can’t be a dad for you… at least not right now”

Zac: “he blames me for everything…”

Paul: “well, that’s where he is wrong, because none of it is your fault”

Zac: “everything’s my fault… he wouldn’t have court on Monday If I would have just kept my mouth shut…”

Paul: “Zac, even if you wouldn’t have told me, I knew something was going on, I’m not stupid… I would have figured it out, and we would be in the same position. It’s your DADS fault that he is going through this, not yours. but… if you really don’t want to blame him, then blame me…. But please don’t blame yourself” I nodded.

Zac: “I don’t blame you” Paul smiled.

Paul: “and I don’t blame you” He said leaning down to kiss my forehead “Your still warm” he said as he pulled away. he put his hand on my forehead. “how are you feeling?” I groaned

Zac: “Not very good” I mumbled, truthfully. He nodded and stood up. “Paul?”

Paul: “yes?”

Zac: “he has a girl over there right now, and he has been drinking… I know you said that I c-can’t see him, but can we t-try one more time?” Paul sighed and looked at me for a second, before nodding his head.

Paul: “I’ll call him tomorrow, and I’ll see if he is in any condition to see you… if he isn’t then I’ll call again on Sunday… But if he is still acting like that, you can’t see him, okay?” I nodded

Zac: “thank you” I said sitting up and holding my arms out for a hug. He smiled and hugged me.

Paul: “I love you Zac… it’s going to be okay, alright? The judge will do whatever he thinks your dad needs.” I nodded.

Zac: “okay. I love you too”

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Matthews POV:

Taylor and Demi and Drake all decided to be lame and go to bed early, so I’m curled up by myself with a blanket watching a movie. I really wish they were still awake, because I’m bored. I felt someone sit by me and I sat up.

Matthew: “Danny?” I said surprised. I thought he went to bed too. “Are you still ignoring me?” he shook his head no.

Dan: “I’m sorry that I’ve been ignoring you… this has been hard for me.” he said looking down. I can see in his face how worried he is for me.

Matthew: “Danny, Daddy was in the army, and he went overseas, and he came back safe… I’ll come back safe too” he nodded.

Dan: “I know arguing with you about this is pointless... but I’m probably going to try a couple more times before Monday” I smiled

Matthew: “I don’t care… as long as you don’t ignore me anymore, okay?” Dan nodded and I cuddled with him and we watched the rest of the movie together.

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#Chapter 185

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