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poerebel · 5 years

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I’ve Had Enough

Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: Cheating, Swearing, Angst

Prompt: “I’ve had enough.”

Summary: You and Chris get into a huge fight that eventually leads to both of you breaking up.

A/N: Hello! This is my first time writing any fanfiction or one-shot so I’m sorry if this isn’t good enough. I really tried my best because I wanna participate in Emily’s (@my-emotional-self) writing challenge to celebrate her reaching 5k followers! All comments, suggestions, and criticisms are welcome. And who knows, maybe I’ll write another one-shot again in the future. I may have gotten a little too carried away, but the word count is 3389 or something hehe.

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It was at a Vanity Fair party four years ago when you first met Chris. Your childhood best friend, Elizabeth Olsen, brought you along as her plus 1 because she was tired of the Hollywood bullshit where most of the people are fake, so she opted to bring you to see for yourself what the Hollywood life she’s talking about really is. It wasn’t until the Avengers: Age of Ultron after-party that you and Chris actually got to talk to each other.

“Lizzie, why did you bother bringing me here? You know how I feel about these parties.” You said as Lizzie grabbed your hand and bring you towards the bar. “Two Margaritas, please.” She orders as you both sit on the stool. “Well, I needed to do something to get you out of the house. You can’t be sulking in forever.” She had that ‘duh’ face on and you just shook your head at her.

“Besides, it’s the first time in weeks that I even saw you shower.” She added as you rolled your eyes at her dramatic antics. Lizzie tends to be a drama queen ever since you were little. No wonder she became an actor.

“Shut up. We both know you just want me here so you can have someone to make fun of other people with.” She gave you a look and you both laughed at what you said.

“I have no idea about what you’re talking about.” She sarcastically denies as you both took a sip of your margaritas and continue to laugh. Suddenly a booming voice called her name and you both looked at that direction.

“Lizzie!”

“Chris!” She calls back as the guy practically runs over to where you were and hugs Lizzie. While the two of them continue to catch up, you were left to drink your Margarita all alone. You were lost in your train of thoughts when you hear Lizzie call out your name.

“Chris, this is y/n. Y/n, this is Chris.” Lizzie says as she introduced you to each other. You extended your hand but Chris brought you into a hug. “Sorry, I’m a hugger.” You laughed awkwardly and let Lizzie do the talking for the rest of the night. You didn’t think much of him yet since you just got out of a 5-year relationship. Besides, he might be one of those actors who thinks so highly of himself and is a total douche.

Three months after the Vanity Fair party was the Avengers: Age of Ultron premiere and after-party. Lizzie introduced you to pretty much all of her co-stars, and you didn’t care much but meeting Robert Downey Jr. is where you draw the line.

“Oh my god, Lizzie! I can’t believe I met Robert fucking Downey Jr!” You squealed when Robert was out of sight. You couldn't stop moving, you were so happy you met Robert.

“I know I’m so happy for you!” She says as she puts both her hands on your sides and tries to calm you down.

“And we’re at his house! For the after-party! I can’t believe it!” You continued to squeal as Lizzie laughs at you. “You should always bring me to these kinds of party.” You say as you grab her hand and skip towards the bar.

“And what kind of party is that?” Lizzie asks as she smiles at you.

“A Robert Downey Jr kind of party, duh.” You say as you both laugh aloud.

Eventually, at the party, Lizzie got crowded by a lot of people wanting to congratulate her on the success of the movie, so you decided to get your drink first and let Lizzie do her thing.

“One Margarita please.” You tell the bartender as you sit on the stool and bring out your phone to check up on your messages. Not really texting anyone but hoping that a particular someone will message you. It’s dumb, you know. It’s been 3 months, but you can’t help but hold out to hope.

“Y/n, right?” Suddenly a familiar voice brought you out of your trance. You looked up from your phone and saw Chris. “You sure do like Margaritas, huh?” He added as you just smiled at him.

“So, what are you doing here all alone?” Chris asked as he had his eyebrow raised. “Lizzie’s being crowded by people, so I decided to get a drink and just sit and try to take in all of what’s happening.” You shrugged and then took a sip of your Margarita.

“Congratulations on the movie, by the way.” You tell Chris as you raise your glass to him.

“Thanks! What did you think of the movie?”

“I’m not a comic book fan, but I really enjoyed it. Great job.” You put your two thumbs up together and Chris laughed.

“No, really. What did you think of it?” he insisted.

“I really liked how the team worked together and I loved how Captain America lead the whole Avengers.” you replied.

He had this smug look on his face so you decided to tease. “But Iron Man is still my favorite.” He laughed so loud that he even put his hand on his chest and he almost fell back. He had a hearty laugh, and you found yourself smiling for no reason.

“Speaking of the movie, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be entertaining your guests? I’m sure they’re dying to hold a conversation with you.” You say as you gesture to the roomful of people. Funnily enough, an unfamiliar face showed up to congratulate him about the success of the movie. So you went back to drinking your Margarita and using your phone.

After a few minutes, you were scrolling through your Instagram when a voice startled you, “What’s with your phone? Why are you so busy with it?” You looked up and saw Chris looking at you with a puzzled face.

“I don’t really know anyone here except Lizzie.” You trailed off. “Hey! You know me.” He said with a hurt look. “Oh do I now?” You teased and he laughed again.

You spent the rest of the night talking to each other, casually making jokes here and there. You didn’t seem to mind since you enjoyed his company. You don’t know why Chris chose to talk to you instead of basking in the glory of fame and success, but that’s Chris; he never chose to value such trivial things. As your conversation went on, you found out how much he adores his dog and how much he hated being away from his family.

A party’s not the ideal place to connect with someone but things happened, and you don’t find yourself questioning that night further.

______________________

You were already in bed, staring at the ceiling because you couldn’t fall asleep not knowing what’s happening to Chris. You’ve texted him multiple times but he hasn’t replied to any of those. You started to worry about him and think of all the worst things that could happen, thanks to your anxiety.

You hear the door open and heard shuffling. "Must be Chris." You mutter to yourself as you made your way to the living room. There he is, Chris, on the couch, drunk again. He and the boys went out to celebrate the last day of filming for his upcoming movie.

You walked towards him and noticed he had kiss marks on his neck and shirt. You got taken aback by what you saw and couldn’t even distinguish what you’re feeling right now. You just know that you have to clean and take care of Chris.

"Chris," You said as you lightly tap his face, trying to wake him up. “Chris,” You say again as you try to help him up sit on the couch. You walk towards the kitchen and grab him a glass of water and an Advil. “Chris, wake up.” You lightly tapped on his face again as you try to make him drink water. He opened his eyes and downed it all in one big gulp.

Ever since being back in Boston to film for his upcoming projects, he had been out lately with his friends, going out almost every night. Thank God Scott was also here and he would go with Chris at night. He would usually text you updates about what’s going on, so you don’t really worry about Chris going out. What you worry about, however, is his excessive drinking and the girls that throw themselves at him. It wasn’t until one night when Scott texted that he saw Chris making out with a girl. When you found out, you were sure you’re going to leave Chris, you swore to yourself you were never going to tolerate cheating again, not after what your ex did.

But when he came home, you became conflicted. A part of you wanted to leave him for what he did, while another part of you wanted to stay because of all the good things you’ve done together and because you didn’t want to waste your 3-year relationship.

"We need to talk." You told him, as you looked him straight into his eyes, looking for the Chris you know. You’ve been holding off this conversation, but in his drunken state, you realized that you’ve had enough.

"Not now, y/n." He said as he massaged his temples. He reeked of beer, his hair was all over the place, and his clothes were a mess. He avoided looking in your eyes, and it only made your heartache.

"We really need to talk, Chris." You said once again as calmly as possible. You were starting to get pissed with what he’s doing.

"I said not now, y/n." He said through gritted teeth. By now you were starting to lose your patience. This conversation has been long overdue.

“If not now, then when Chris?” You asked as you look him straight into the eyes.

“Just not now, y/n! I’ve had too much to drink!” He raised his voice at you and it made you jump back. He has never raised his voice at you in your 3 years of being in a relationship, not even once, so his sudden reaction startled you.

“That’s the exact reason why we need to talk, Chris! Your drinking has been a problem!” He scoffed at your words and he rolled his eyes. His attention was somewhere else. He clearly didn’t want to have this conversation right now.

You couldn’t take it anymore, you had to bring it up. “When are you going to tell me that you've been cheating on me?" You raised your voice a little as you looked at him.

He whipped his head to face you, “Cheating on YOU?” He said, eyes wide, definitely in shock at what you just said.

“Yeah! Scott told me everything. He told me he saw you making out with someone,” You looked at his neck and shirt and saw the kiss marks again. “And judging by the kiss marks on your neck, I don’t think he was lying.”

“You’re believing Scott’s bullshit? Really, y/n? Really?” He shook his head as he clenched his jaw.

“Yes, I believe him! He’s your goddamn brother, for christ’s sake! He’s only looking out for you, Chris!”

“Why do you to need to look out for me? I’m a grown-up man, I can do whatever I want!” He stood up and he was now towering over you.

You stood up and look him in the eye, “Is that really a question?”

"Bullshit, y/n! You’re acting like an overly attached girlfriend!” He screamed as he turned his back on you.

“WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?! I can’t believe you just said that to me! What the fuck, Chris!” By now you were fuming with anger. How dare he say that to you. He turned to look at you and you stared back at him.

“I’ve been holding off what I felt for such a long time because I wanted to give you time, I thought that you’d maybe come around. You know damn well that I’ve been in this position before and you promised you wouldn’t do such a thing. But now, look at where we are.“ You say as you throw your hands in the air. When you opened up about your ex to Chris, he told you that he would never do that to you, that you would never experience being hurt by him.

“And whose fault is that?” His eyes narrowed at you as you look at him with wide eyes.

“What exactly do you mean by that?”

“You never have time for me anymore.” You were about to respond but he cut you off.

“I used to look forward waking up in the morning because I know you’d be there right beside me, but now I wake up to a bed all by myself because you already left for work. And then when you get home from work, you’d be tired and just go directly back to bed. Didn’t you ever think that I needed your presence as well? That I needed your attention? Why do you think I always hang out with the boys every night? Now that I’ve finished my projects, I’m left all alone in this house by myself.” Chris said, his eyes glaring at you. Your heart clenched inside, it felt like Chris was ripping your heart out from your chest. You never knew he felt that way.

Tears were starting to form in your eyes. “Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“I’ve been trying to tell you! But whenever I wanted to talk, you’d always brush me off and you’d go directly to bed because you say you’re tired.” You both stood there, staring at each another, tension filling the air.

“Ok. You want my attention? I’ll give it to you. You have it right now.” Chris just looked at you as you waited for him to say anything.

“Why aren’t you talking?” Chris stayed silent as he stared at you.

“Do you think you’re the only one who has a career to maintain? Just because I’m not a hotshot actor, you think my job is not that important?” Tears were now falling from your eyes.

“I never said that.” Chris just put his hands across his chest and stared at you.

“It pains me to leave you all alone in the house all day, but I have a job and I have to work hard because I have dreams.” More tears started rolling from your eyes. You can’t stop it. You feel like your dreams for yourself are getting in the way of you both.

Chris stayed silent, but he was fixated at your hands. Your anger was boiling through you. You had your hands clenched in a fist, so tight that you felt your nails digging through your palms.

“Here we go again with your insecurities,” Chris said as he rolled his eyes. Your mouth dropped open, as you couldn’t believe what just came out of his mouth.

“Insecurities?” You asked all confused, raising your voice a little. You stared at him as you wonder where this is all coming from.

“You always talk about wanting to be successful, but can’t you do it without trashing what I do for a living? You always find a way to invalidate my passion.” Chris said as he threw his hands in the air and the look of disappointment is evident on his face. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. You didn’t know that this was affecting Chris as much as it affected you. You never thought it would be possible since Chris never said anything about it.

“If you had problems with this bullshit in the first place, then you shouldn’t have chosen to be with me.” Chris pointed out. You felt your heart shatter with his last words. Your heart was physically aching and you felt like you were losing air.

"It’s because I care for you! I can’t leave, because I love you." Your voice broke, barely whispering the last words.

His eyes narrowed at you as he continues to have his arms across his chest, “So you admit it. You want to leave?” You looked into his eyes and all you could see was disappointment.

“I did, a lot of times.” Chris scoffed at your words. “So many nights have passed where you come home wasted, and I couldn’t even talk to you about my day. But, every morning when I wake up to your face and see the Chris that I fell in love with, I’d eventually forget about wanting to leave you. You’d engulf me in a hug, all freshened up, and I wish I could stay there longer because it was you. But then you’d get up so quickly to go back to work. Where does that leave me?”

“I would rely on those mornings because I was hoping you’d come back, not just in the morning, but every fucking waking moment of my life. Because honestly what the fuck is this?” You gestured to the both of you as you shake your head.

“Then leave.” Chris said in a monotonous voice as he continued to stare at you.

It took you a few moments to register what came out of his mouth. He wanted you to leave. You were prepared for this moment to happen, but still, nothing could stop the physical pain in your chest. You wanted to move but your body was frozen in shock.

You stared at Chris, waiting for him to take back what he said, but he didn’t seem to change his stance so you walked towards your shared room and grabbed your suitcase, filling it with your clothes from the closet. You didn’t even bother arranging your clothes in your suitcase, you just recklessly dumped your clothes inside.

You stood up, ready to leave. As you were on the way out, you saw a picture hanging on the wall. It was your favorite picture of you and Chris, he was the one taking the picture as you kissed his cheek in the middle of Times Square. You couldn’t help but smile at the memories it brought back.

With one final look at the room you’ve shared for almost two years, you finally made your way out to the living room. Chris was still there, his head was down as he fidgeted with his hands. He looked up when he heard the door close and he saw you with your suitcase. He stared at you and you looked back at him as you make your way into the living room.

As you were on your way to the door, you hear him say, "Where are you going?" You looked at him and said, "I’m leaving." in a monotonous voice. You continued to walk straight towards the door, not even looking back when suddenly you feel two strong arms engulf you in a hug.

“Please, don’t.” You hear his voice break as he hugs you tighter. “Chris, stop.” You say as you try to pry away from him. You then hear him sniffling and feel his tears soak the back of your shirt. “Chris,” you trailed off as you try to remove his hands from your waist. You couldn’t help but let your tears fall as you try to break free from Chris.

You couldn’t take it anymore, “Chris, enough!” You scream making him startled and let go of you. You turned around and looked at him. What you saw was possibly the most painful thing you’ve ever seen. Chris’s face was full of tears and all you could see in his eyes were sadness and pain.

“I’m sorry.” You tell him as you wipe his tears with your thumb.

You grabbed your suitcase and made your way to the door. "Are you really doing this?" He asked as he followed you behind.

“I’ve had enough, Chris.” You looked back at him and all you could see were pain in his eyes. You wanted to stay, and just be with him again, to never leave him.

"It’s what’s best for us, please try to understand.“ You told him as you grab a hold of your suitcase. You walked out the door and you heard footsteps follow you outside. As you go to your car, you see Chris standing at the doorframe. Before you went in your car, you gave Chris one final look. You gave him a half-smile and you see his eyes still with tears, pleading for you to stay.

You go in and start your car. You don’t even know where you’d go and who’d be awake at this hour. While you drive away from the house, you look at the rearview mirror and see Chris, now sitting on your porch, his hands were on his face. It pained you to do this and see him like this, but you know that it would be for the better.

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writing-mermaid · 5 years

Text

Today is where your book begins the rest is still unwritten

Summary : Y/N is about to marry her fiancé Brock Rumlow. Tired of being a trophy wife, and just before saying "I do", she runs away, helped by her best friends. She finds herself in Australia, where she will finally starts to be herself again.

Pairing : Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings : None

Word Count : 12 539

Square Filled : @star-spangled-bingo : Free space

@buckybarnesbingo : Sharing a bed

Author’s note : This story has been inspired to me by the wedding of friends. My thought was, what would happen if at the last moment, the bride to be says no. A huge inspiration for that story also comes from the song Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield. I'm fulfilling a few challenges with that story : @until-theend-oftheline : "How did I even become this person ?" (I know your challenge is over for a little time but as I told you, I tag you in as I started to write that story a while ago), @staticscreenwriting : "Oh he's very handsome, isn't he ?", @writing4inspiration : "Am I ever going to see you again ?", @bxcksdoll : "I've got you. Breathe, okay ? I've got you.", @my-emotional-self : "Have you ever danced in the rain ?", @icantlivewithyou: "Dance with me." Don’t forget that feedback is appreciated and really important.

Song of the title : Unwritten - Natasha Bedingfield

Masterlist

Bucky Barnes Bingo masterlist

Star Spangled Bingo masterlist

Ko-fi

It's not so hard to say. I do. Come on Y/N, you can do it. Yeah, when the minister is going to say : “Would you Y/N, take Brock Rumlow as your loving and faithful husband until death tear you apart ?” “Yes, I do”. It's not so hard ! Except that it is. I can't marry him, I thought that it was what I wanted but it's not. And I'm really realizing it right now, at the venue, in my white dress, making me look like a freaking meringue and that I didn't even choose. Not the date of that wedding, the place where we're celebrating it, the music, the flowers, the food, the rings, the honeymoon... I couldn't choose a thing and Brock did it according to his own tastes, that I don't share, without asking me, if I do or do not want this or that. And now, I'm standing in that fucking ugly dress, looking at myself in the full-length mirror, waiting for my dad to take me to the altar.

Yet, my story with Brock started in a good way. I met him when I started to work in his father's law firm right after my studies. Brock was the one who welcomed me on my first day, waiting for me at the reception desk. The least to say on that day was that he was really handsome, his grey suit hugging his firm body, his dark brown hair perfectly combed, a confident smile on his face. When his brown gaze was fixed on me, I knew that I would probably be doomed. After a few months, Brock asked me out and I accepted gladly, why would have refused, he was handsome and charming, the perfect combo. One thing after another, things became serious and we moved together after two years of dating. I kept my apartment in case of needing but at the moment I moved in with Brock, he paid everything not wanting me to spend my money on everything. And that's when it really started, when Brock started to rule my life as he wished. He started to choose my clothes, the places I could go, what I could drink or eat, where we went on holidays, which friends I could see... I literally lost my free will. He even told me I could quit my job as he was making enough money for us to live and that someday, he'll take the lawyer firm after his father, and someday maybe our son would. He was planning everything without even asking me. I didn't resign anyway, saying that maybe we could need the money someday in case of hard blow, he laughed and said that I could keep my job if it was amusing me. When I opened up about this to my best friends, Steve and Peggy, they said that I should be careful, that soon, Brock would probably trapped me in an unhealthy relationship where he would control anything and unfortunately, I let it happened, and I was stupid enough to say yes when he asked me to marry him when I wasn't sure that it was what I wanted.

And here I am, in that ugly white dress, my hair combed in a way I really hate, around a lot of people I don't really like or don't even know, in a place I didn't even choose, in a dress I didn't choose, for a wedding I know now I don't want, food I don't even like and a honeymoon in a place that don't even make me dream. I have lost my free will, living my life as if I'm not living it. How did I even become this person ? Someone so passive that she let a man deciding for everything in her life when she used to be a free spirit. I wanted to do a lot of things before I met Brock, and before I became a lawyer, and I didn't. I sigh, looking at myself in the mirror, once again, trying to force me to look radiant and happy to get married to the man I love. Or that I'm supposed to love, I don't know, frankly, I'm not even sure that I love Brock. A knock on the door makes me snap out of my daydream.

“Y/N are you ready baby ?”, my dad asks, entering the room. “You look...”, he says, not finding his world, and I perfectly know that it's not because of the thought of his baby girl to get married.

“I am dad. Ready I mean.”

“Are you sure, you seem a little...”

“No, I'm good”, I try to reassure him with a small tight smile. “I promise, I'm good”, I add, squeezing his hand in mine.

“If you're ready then”, he holds me his arm and I take it, lifting my meringue to walk properly with that pair of heels I'm uncomfortable in.

We walk towards the main room where the ceremony takes place, where Brock and all the guests are waiting for me. I take a deep breath when we stop in front of the huge wooden double-leaf door, and my father looks at me again, searching for any sign of me giving up on this wedding that him and my mother don't really seem to understand. One day, when we were alone, my mother even asked me if I was happy, she said, I seemed to have lost that spark I always had before, and that longing I had for discovering the world and writing.

“You know, you don't have to do it if you don't want to”, my father states, looking down at me.

Before I have time to answer him, the doors open, the music resonates and we walk towards the altar, I've made my decision, it was hard to do, but that's the good one. My father stops in front of the altar and kiss my forehead before letting go. Peggy is next to me, she already knows what I'll do, she, her sister Sharon and Steve (who was the only man with us last night) know what I'm going to do. The music stops and I stand by Brock, looking at me as if he has won a trophy. A trophy wife, that's all he wants, and I know it and I came to that realization. The ceremony starts and the minister starts his speech, asking if someone in the audience wants to oppose the wedding.

“Would you, Brock Rumlow, take Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N as your loving and faithful wife in wealth and poverty, until death tears you apart ?”, the minister asks him.

“I do”, Brock answers, a smug smile on his face, looking down at me.

“And you, would you, Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, take Brock Rumlow as your loving and faithful husband in wealth and poverty, until death tears you apart ?”

“I don't”, I firmly answers, while surprised and shocked whispers rise from the crowd behind us.

“What do you mean, you can't ?”, Brock asks aggressively.

“I can't, I don't want to be your thing, I'm sorry, I have to go.”

And without letting him the chance to say a thing, I grab the bottom of my dress and start to run towards the doors, Brock is so shocked that he's not even chasing me. I don't stop until I'm in the street, spotting Sharon in her car just in front of the entrance of the building. She opens the door from the inside, and I rush in. She barely closes the door and takes me to Steve's and Peggy's apartment.

“You sure he's not going to look for you in here ?”, Sharon questions, opening the door.

“No, don't worry, I'm sure he's going to think I went to my apartment, that's the first place he's going to look for me and then at my parents. Luckily, I don't let any clue on where I'm going to go, and I don't even tell my parents.”

I sit on the couch, thinking about them, my poor parents, I didn't even tell them what my plan was.

“Are Steve and Peggy going to join us at the airport, as it was planned ?”, she pours two glasses of water while I go to the bathroom in order to change into more civil clothes and get rid of that abomination that someone dared to call a wedding dress.

“Yes, they are”, I shout through the open bathroom door, slipping myself into a pair of jeans and a random t-shirt. “That's more discreet than them coming back here to pick me up.”

“Y/N, I know you're worried about your parents and your family, but you took the best decision about it, you had to give Brock no choice or you would have been trapped in a marriage you didn't want”, she says, as if she was reading in my mind. “Don't worry, Steve, Peggy and I will tell your parents where you are in good time, you know you can count on us”, she adds, pulling me into a hug.

“I know”, I mumble in her hair. “I know that I can trust the three of you, and that you are the best friends someone could ask for.”

She lets me go and I drink my glass in one go, before putting a pair of sneakers.

“I'm ready to go”, I state.

“So, let's go for your biggest adventure !”, Sharon smiles, grabbing her car keys on the kitchen counter.

With only a little suitcase and a backpack, I take one last look to my friends' apartment without any regret, just the feeling that I'm going to miss them so bad.

Less than an hour later, Steve and Peggy, join us at the JFK airport, Peggy is still wearing her bridesmaid dress and Steve his tuxedo.

“Y/N”, Peggy shouts, running towards me, before taking me into her arms. “Are you alright ?”

“Yes, yes, I'm good. How was it back there ?”, I ask her.

“Your parents are wondering where you are and sort of worrying but they know you're going to be okay. And Brock, well, when he got a grip on himself, he screamed that he didn't understand how you could have done something like this. He rushed to your apartment and I wouldn't be surprise if he searches at your parents' home when he will see that you're not there.”

“I just hope he's not going to make your lives or my parents' a misery...”, I sigh.

“Don't worry, our lips are sealed !”, Steve says.

“Thank you Stevie”, I say, hugging him. “I love the three of you so much.”

“And we love you too”, Sharon adds, while now, the four of us are hugging in the middle of the airport, people passing by us and looking at that unusual show.

I wipe the tears forming in my eyes and look at my three friends.

“So, you really are doing it”, Peggy says, a little smile on her face, knowing that my destination was a dream I had since young age.

“I'm doing it. I would have love it to be under other circumstances, but, here I am.”

“Calling all the passengers for Sydney, flight 384. Passengers for Sidney, flight 384.”

“That's me”, I say, smiling to them.

“Have fun there”, Sharon says, hugging me one last time.

“I will.”

“Enjoy your freedom”, Steve adds, pulling me into his arms once again.

“I promise.”

“Take care of yourself and don't think about anything else, wear what you want, party as much as you want to, drink, go the beach and I don't know where else, live, that's all I can say to you after 7 years being a nun”, Peggy is the last one to say goodbye.

“I swear to you, I will live. I love you, the three of you. I'll let Sharon know when I'm there, she's the last person Brock will ask news about me.”

I start to walk towards the registration desk, waving one last time at my friends, ready for a big adventure.

Once I'm sitting on my seat, I sigh in satisfaction, savoring my restored freedom. I look at my bare ring finger, I left the outrageous engagement ring Brock offered me back in New York and someone there is supposed to send it back to him. After an hour or so in the air, I finish to fall asleep, just waking up in between during the flight to eat or go to the bathroom. I didn't realize until now that I was that tired. I'm probably relieved to leave all that wedding thing and loveless relationship behind me. I don't know how long I slept, but at some point, I feel my neighbor shifting on his seat, we might arrive soon. I wake up, completely rest and well. At least, as rest as you can be after such a long flight, but I feel well.

We land two hours later, two hours, during which I took advantage of the magnificent view from the window. It's so different from everything I know, the landscape absolutely doesn't look like what I've seen until now. It's wild and has huge extent and I can't wait to discover that country or at least the region I'm going to stay in for a few times.

As soon as I land in Australia, I feel tired again, even if it's barely the middle of the afternoon. My only haste is to go to the small bungalow I rented not far from the beach.

“So here we are”, the owner says, showing me the little house. “It's small, but it's cozy, I think you'll enjoy it. I don't know how long you intend to stay but, I think you're going to like this place. Everything is nearby, the beach, the city, some stores. And it's very calm, as you asked for a quiet place, it's the good one.”

“It's perfect”, I answer her. “Thank you.”

“I think you probably want to rest a little, you had a long journey. I took the liberty to put some food on the fridge, and don't even think to refund it, that's on me. There are some fruits and juices and fresh water”, she adds, smiling before exiting the bungalow.

I look around one last time before going into the bedroom and letting myself fall on the bed, instantly falling asleep. I don't know how long I slept but, when I wake up, the sky is all dark, glowing with stars I've never seen during my whole life. I step under the porch of the bungalow and look at the sky, thinking that I really took the good decision. I deeply breathe the sea air coming to me and head back inside in order to take a hot shower and going back to bed.

When I wake up the next morning, I'm completely rest, and I decide to have a walk in the surrounding area. The sun is already high in the sky and it's also very hot, something I'm not usually used to when Brock chose the places we were going to visit and it was always planed, visit that thing at that hour, that one at this hour. Going on vacation with Brock was never spontaneous, always as regular as a clockwork. Once, we went to Paris and I wanted to climb the 270 steps to see Paris from the Sacré Coeur in Montmartre from where you can see the whole city's landscape at once, and where the view is stunning. So, I took him by surprise to take him there and once at the foot of the steps, he said we didn't have time and that wasn't on the program and that we were going to stick on it. He also said that the next afternoon I could do it on my own as he had an appointment for work. I thought we could do something romantic for once, but I was wrong, romantic things were only for the beginning of our story. I went to Montmartre on my own the next day.

After another quick shower, I put my bath suit and over it, a white tank top and a short. In a bag I fold a towel, my wallet, sunscreen and my e-reader. Once under the porch, I slip my feet in a pair of flip-flops I bought last summer. I'm going to take a little walk this morning, probably eat something at noon and then head to the beach and enjoy the sun and the sea. During my walk downtown, I buy a summer hat to protect my head and my face of the burning sun of Australia. I finally stop in a small café, Hela's Cabin to take a breakfast. When I pass the threshold, a stunning dark-haired woman greets me and shows me a free spot in a corner.

“Welcome to Hela's Cabin sweetie, what can I serve you ?”, she asks me, her Australian accent sort of singing in her words, while she was handing me a menu.

“I'm going to take”, I start, studying the menu in my hands. “I'm going to take a bowl of fresh fruits, an apple-pear-cinnamon juice and pancakes please.”

“On its way to you, love”, she says, after writing everything down on her notepad. “Skurge, fresh fruits, juice and pancakes on the way please !”, she shouts, to be answered a “yeah” by a drawling voice.

I take a look around me, looking at the café's decoration. It looks like there is a mix between Australian culture and Northern European, like Sweden or Norway. This place seems to be such a peaceful one, suitable for everyone, families, couples, people that are alone, students, vacationers, everyone seems to be welcome here. I sit back and relax on my chair, pulling out my e-reader while waiting for my order.

“And that's for you sweetheart”, the brunette comes back ten minutes later. “Enjoy your food and don't hesitate to compliment the chef !”, she adds, winking.

“Thanks”, I smile at her, before cutting a bite of pancakes.

Jeez those are the best I never ate ! Nothing in common with those horrors that Brock made me ate every Sunday at that restaurant he likes to go for brunch. In here, it has a taste of paradise, it's sweet and light, not like those things full of grease and oil I have eaten in New York. I take a bite of the fresh fruits from the ball laying down in a white bowl next to the plate, it's divine. They are so juicy and sweet, just the perfect balance of sugar and juice. I'm never going to leave this place I swear.

“Was it good ?”, the black hair woman questions, coming back when my dishes are empty.

“It was more than good, thank you so much.”

“You're welcome darling, come back whenever you want”, she adds, when I pay her. “We are open from 7 am to 1 pm. Serving food and drinks all day long.”

When I go back outside, I'm surprised by the heat and realize how fresh the restaurant was. I take my sunscreen bottle from my bag and put some on my arms, legs and face, I rather be protected than burn because of the sun. I wander a little more and finish on a crowded beach. I take a quick look from the sidewalk I'm on, I see families playing on the sand or in the water, surfers taking the waves, some bathers. The water seems so good and I just want to dive in it. I take my flip-flops off and start to walk on the warm sand, letting my feet sinking in. It's such a pleasant sensation. I already know that this is something I couldn't have done barely two days ago. I sneak between the people around to find myself a spot, but I feel like I'm wasting my time, until I spot an empty place near a pile of beach towels and a cool box a few meters away. It's little but I can fit in it, I think. Once there, I start to unfold my own towel, ready to lie down under the sun a little, when a tall blond and muscular man, goes out of the water, a surfboard under his right arm, and jogs towards me.

“Hi !”, he warmly says.

“Hi”, I say back. “I'm sorry, am I impinging on your space ? I can't leave if you want, find myself another spot.”

“No that's okay”, he answers with his deep voice. “You can stay here, you're not impinging and there are no other spots around, I don't think my friends are going to mind”, he smiles at me. “I'm Thor by the way”, he adds, extending his hand to me.

“Y/N”, I answer, shaking his strong hand, or rather being shaken by it. “Thor, isn't it a Scandinavian name ? I'm sorry maybe I'm a little too curious.”

“It's fine don't you worry and it's totally Scandinavian, my father is from Sweden and my mother is Australian, but she has a thing for Scandinavian culture”, he laughs.

“Well brother, I'm not sure that Annie is going to appreciate to know that you're flirting with a stranger”, a thin brunet guy states, sticking his board in the sand, next to Thor's one.

“Oh, dear Loki, I'm just making friend”, he answers him. “This is Y/N”, he motions towards me. “Y/N, this is my little brother Loki.”

“Pleasure to meet you Y/N”, he says, handing me his hand, as his brother did.

I shake it and detail the two brothers. Unlike Thor, Loki is less muscular, he's more of a skinny lad, hair as black as his brother's is blond. Their eyes, however, look alike, they both have blue eyes, but I sort of notice a spark of green into Loki's. I also note that, if Thor has an Australian accent, his brother has a British one.

“Where's James ?”, he returns his attention to his brother.

“Still in water, I presume”, the later answers.

Suddenly, my eyes widen at the sight in front of me, making the two brothers turning towards the sea. A tall and broad man just goes out of the ocean, he also has a surfboard stuck under his left arm. He walks towards us, some strands of his long dark hair glued to his forehead, and those behind his ears dripping on his suit and finishing their race on the sand. I can see his muscle moving under his wetsuit, I can't help myself but looking at him, my eyes refuse to leave his tall form, I'm biting my lower lip, that guy looks like a Greek statue carved by the gods themselves. What's going on in that bloody country ? Are all men going out of the ocean here are more beautiful than the one before ?

“Hey guys, what's up ?”, he asks, running his free hand in his hair, pushing the wet hair from his forehead, before sinking his board in the sand. He's even more gorgeous from a closer look.

He starts to unzip his wetsuit, and I bite my lower lip harder. I haven't felt this way in a very long time. His back is to me, he removes his arms from the suit's sleeves. I breath heavily without even notice it. It's been a long time since I haven't really look at a man, aside from Brock, I must admit that staying eight years with the same man doesn't really makes you look around, even when love is gone. And now, here am I, completely fascinate by a man I don't even know and that barely said four words, and not even to me. He continues to slip the suit to his feet, not even once minding me nor at the other women around looking at him, he must be used to it. I can see a few scars on his left arm, running from the top on his shoulder to the side of his chest, to his wrist. It's really not pretty but it's a part of him. He pulls the suit from his legs and feet and finally seems to realize that his friends are not alone.

“Hi”, he says, turning to me, a bright smile on his face, and I notice the unusual color of his eyes. Not exactly grey, but not entirely blue either. I examine him, he's handsome. “I'm James”, he continues, “but I mainly go by Bucky”, he extends his hand, waiting for me to do the same.

“Sorry, I'm Y/N”, I eventually answer, shaking his large and warm, but wet and sandy hand.

“Nice to meet you”, he smiles a little more, his eyes crinkling at this action.

“Maybe we should sit down with us and we could talk”, Thor states.

“No, I'm going to find myself a new spot, I don't want to bother you.”

“You don't, please Y/N, stay with us. You can tell us your story, because, judging by your accent, you're not from here”, Loki says.

“This is a good one Loki, not long ago you said you would tell Annie I was speaking to a woman, and now you invite the same woman to stay with us, when we barely meet her, what would Jenny say ?”

“Don't worry brother, I'm just being polite.”

“Yes, polite”, Thor laughs.

The two brothers start to argue, not really but still, they are chatting loudly.

“Don't mind them”, James says, sitting next to me. “It happens a lot, but they do love each other.”

“I can see this. I wish I had brothers and sisters.”

“I have five sisters, sometimes I wish I were an only child, but I realize that my life would suck without them.”

He has a tender smile on his face mentioning his sisters.

“So, Y/N, what does a New Yorker like you is doing in Australia ?”, he asks.

“I... Wait, how do you know I'm from New York ?”, I question, shocked by statement.

“Because, I'm from there too.”

“That’s a long story”, I answer. “And you, what brought you here ?”

“Less longer than your story probably, a pretty bad break-up. I needed to take a brand-new start. I left my job and I traveled the world. I thought it would help me, but I was really down when I arrived here. I was broke and I met those two”, he says, motioning towards Thor and Loki. “They helped me, taught me how to surf and I decided to stay.”

“And two Aussie guys taught you how to surf, is that it ?”

“Yes, that’s it, they were very patient with me, and it wasn’t that easy for them, but I have been a diligent pupil and I learned fast enough for them.”

“And when are you going back to New York ?”

“I don’t know. For now, I feel good here. It would take me something really serious to get me back to the US.”

“I see”, I smile at him, before turning back to admire the horizon and the surfers taking a particularly huge wave.

“Have you ever surf ?”, Bucky asks, pulling me away from the landscape to meet his beautiful blue eyes.

“Never”, I confess.

“Well, if you stay long enough, maybe I can take you on a ride, of even teach you how to catch the wave”, he tells me, flashing me a dazzling smile.

“Why not, I would love to.”

“Seems that the two of you already get along”, Thor says, sitting in front of us, hanging the both of us two beers.

“We actually discovered that we came from the same city”, I answer him, while Loki settles next to his brother. “And James offered to teach me how to catch the wave.”

“Nice, that means that you are going to tag along with us”, the blond adds, patting my shoulder with his huge hand.

“Yes, sure, if I’m not disturbing you.”

“Of course, you are not going to disturb us. Plus, we could make you visit the surrounding areas.”

“Okay, sure, this is so nicely asked, I can’t refuse.”

“Awesome ! You should come and eat with us tonight, we are doing a barbecue, the two of us, our sister, our girlfriends, James and you, if you accept the invitation.”

“I can’t refuse such a nice invitation, count on me”, I add, smiling at him. “Do I have to bring something ?”

“Don’t you worry for that, we have all that we will need”, Loki states, “our sister has a huge pantry.”

We spend a few other minutes talking about the coming evening, before I decide to taste the water. Letting the three guys behind me, I can feel James’ gaze on my back while I’m walking between the people or towels lying on the sand. Talking about the sand, I feel it, warm under my feet at each step I’m talking, something I haven’t really felt for a long time. Once in front of the sea, I take a deep breath, inhaling the scent of the ocean. Of course, once again, this is something I didn’t do with Brock. According to him, sand is gross, the ocean is not a place to bath and let’s not talk about what he thinks about crowded beaches. A delicious sensation overwhelms me when the waves hit my toes, and for the first time in a long time, I finally feel free. I feel free to live my life as I want to, as I was delayed to. Walking forward and then, diving in the water makes me realize that I should have to open the dirty window from my gilded cage earlier. From now, I’ll live my life with arms wide open, because today is where my book begins the rest is still unwritten, I just have to stare at the blank page before me.

I go back, to my spot after what seems a day of swimming, when I only spent two hours in the water, James, Thor and Loki still there, happily chatting. I fall on my towel, appreciating the warmth of sun on my wet skin.

“How was the water ?”, James asks, seeing the satisfying smile on my face.

“Very good, it’s been so long since I swam in the sea, I forgot how good it was. I probably will be completely sore tomorrow, but it was so satisfying”, I sigh.

I might have fall asleep because at some point, I feel a warm hand on my shoulder. I open my eyes and stretch.

“Sleeping Beauty is waking up”, Loki says with irony.

“Don’t listen to it, it seems that you needed it”, James says, while I’m rubbing my eyes, siting up on my towel. “Let me help you”, he adds when I’m fully awake, holding me his hand.

I catch it and he pulls me with a force I didn’t expect. We are facing each other, our chests almost touching, our hands trapped between us.

“Oh, kiss her already !”, Loki shouts, making us part, and my cheeks blush.

I start to gather my things, putting back my short and my top on my bath suite, my flip-flop in my hand, my bag on my shoulder.

“Y/N, would you like to come and eat with us tonight ?”, Thor offers.

“And that way, you’ll be able to let us know about your story”, James adds.

“Are you all sure this is okay with you ?”, I ask. “I don’t want to disturb you, especially if you already had something planed.”

“Oh, don’t worry”, Loki replies with his drawl voice, “If my brother invites you, that’s because you’ll be welcomed. He tends to bring lost puppy dogs in our group. Just look at that one”, he adds, motioning towards the second dark haired man. “He was miserable, and Thor brought him with us and now he’s better.”

“Don’t listen to him, I wasn’t that desperate, I just needed people to talk to”, Bucky shrugs. “I’ll give you my phone number and you’ll text me where you’re staying at and I’ll come and take you.”

“This sounds good for me”, I answer, fumbling for my phone in my bag, before handing it to him.

“Text me when you’re back home and I’ll pass by an hour later”, his fingers brush mine when he gives me my phone back.

“I will.”

Once we’re back on the sidewalk, I part with them and walk toward my bungalow, turning around to see them laughing while they take the opposite direction.

When I open my door, I let my bag fall on the floor and sigh, it’s been a while since I really enjoy the company of people without Brock sighing every two seconds. And Bucky. How can someone I barely met had such an effect on me. Is it because for seven years I let someone direct me and my life, and that love fade away, and now I need something new ? I grab my phone and text him the address. He replies with a simple smiling emoji, but it’s enough to make me sigh of content. Brock would never have done that. He would have just sighed even more, or mumble that emojis are childish.

I remove my clothes whilst I walk toward the bathroom, wondering what outfit I can wear tonight. I barely know Thor, Loki and James, but they’re were so nice and friendly with me this afternoon, and they offered me to tag along with them. I usually don’t do that kind of things with strangers, but I have a very good feeling about them. I step into the shower, letting the warm water washing the sand and the salt of the sea from my skin. It was only my first day here, but already an amazing day.

When I go out of the shower, a towel wrapped around my wet body, I open of the drawers of the chest and start to fumble for a dress. I finally choose a simple white sundress with pink roses. I dry and style my hair, when I hear a soft knock on the front door.

“Evening”, Bucky greets me when I open the door.

“Good evening to you too”, I reply. “Please come in, I will just put my bath suite in the washing machine, put a little make up, take my purse and I’m all yours.”

The last part of my sentence makes him blush and I just want to facepalm myself. ‘I’m all yours’, what kind of girl says that to a man she barely knows.

“That’s a nice bungalow that you rented”, he says, breaking the silence, while I’m in the bathroom.

“Thanks, I found it on the internet. Well actually, it’s my friend Steve.”

“Is it because of him that you are here ?”

“Steve ?! Oh no, he’s the one that help me escape what I wanted to escape. Him and his girlfriend Peggy, and her sister Sharon, they’re my best friends.”

“I see”, he simply says, and I go out of the bathroom.

“I’m ready”, I grab my purse and follow him outside.

We take the same path I took this morning to go to Hela’s Cabin, and we stop a few houses further. Bucky pushes the portal, motioning for me to enter before him, following me. I can hear voices and laughs as we progress into the front yard, and the scent of a barbecue.

“Don’t worry”, Bucky tells me, “You already know Thor and Loki, you’re gonna meet their girlfriends and their sister.”

I just nod, still following him, before we stop at the side of the house, looking at a small group making food on a huge barbecue and a blond woman putting different kind of salad on a wooden table, a red hair woman setting the table.

“James, Y/N, finally you’re here !”, Thor shouts. “You finally made it here. Please guys come.”

He nearly pulls us into the garden.

“Come on, let me introduce you to everyone you don’t know yet”, he excitedly adds, grabbing my hand and making me follow him.

“Thor please slow down”, I say, trying to calm him down, but also amazed that this big guy can be such a child. “We’ve got plenty of time for you to introduce me to anyone you want.”

I follow him to the barbecue where a tall brunette stands next to a broad, tall, bald man, with black tattoos on his skull.

“Y/N, this is my sister Hela, and her friend and associate, Skurge. Hela, Skurge, this is Y/N, the American girl Loki and I told you about.”

“Fresh fruits, apple-pear-cinnamon juice and pancakes well blow me down”, the brunette chuckles when she turns to us.

“You’re the…”, I stammer.

“Girl from the café, yes indeed sweetheart”, she cuts me. “What a complete coincidence. Skurge, that the young lady from this morning”, she turns to the huge man, turning the food on the barbecue.

“Hey”, he mumbles, returning quickly to his task.

“Come one, I have other people to introduce you to”, he grabs my arm this time and storms towards the bottom of the garden, where the blond girl I saw earlier is lightning some lanterns.

I look behind me to see Bucky quietly chatting with Hela, a beer in one hand, shrugging towards me, as a manner to say that he’s sorry. We finally come to a stop in front of the blond girl. Thor lets go of my arm to tenderly snake his arms around her waist and kisses her cheek with the same tenderness.

“Y/N”, he says, “let me introduce you to the love of my life, my sweet Annie.”

“Hi, nice to meet you”, Annie tells, trying to escape Thor’s grip, to pull me in a warm hug. “Since the moment I came back, Thor doesn’t stop to talk about you. I’ve never seen him so excited to have met someone new. Except for when we met”, she chuckles.

“Nice to meet you too.”

“Come now, you have to meet Loki’s girlfriend now.”

He pulls me again, and it’s like I’m nearly flying because of the way drags me behind him. I almost stumble in the kitchen where Loki is leaning against the kitchen unit.

“Goodness gracious brother, we barely met that poor girl and you’re already breaking her. Good evening Y/N.”

“Good evening Loki”, I answer, finally relieved that Thor lets go of me.

“I think everything is set”, a thick French accent comes from the other room, followed a few second later by a tall red hair girl. “Oh, hi, you must be Y/N”, she says. “Thor couldn’t shut up about you”, she laughs. “Nice to meet you, I’m Jenny.”

“Hey there”, Bucky’s head appears by the French-window. “Don’t yall want to come outside and have a drink.”

“Sure, coming, just before, I need to go to the bathroom, please.”

“I’ll show you”, Jenny volunteers.

“Wait a second before you go”, Loki says, grabbing her hand and pulling her to him before kissing her with passion.

Seeing them and Thor and Annie, and the way they interact, the way they are with each other, makes me realize that my couple was the complete opposite. Not sign of affection in public or in private, monotonous sex, monotonous and boring life. All that mattered were Brock’s colleagues, Brock’s family, my family and friends being pushed into the background.

“That’s this way”, Jenny softy says, pulling me back out of my thoughts.

“Thank you”, I tell her. “I’ll find the way back, don’t worry for me”, I smile at her.

“Don’t hesitate to shout if you need something”, she adds before leaving.

A few minutes later, I go back to the garden, everyone is happily chatting, drinking and laughing. I can’t remember when was the last time I had a real barbecue outside and not a fancy dinner inside.

“Hey Y/N”, Thor shouts again, waving his hand and smiling at me, that man is so sweet.

Hela shows me a vacant seat next to her and offers me a drink. I thank her with a smile, looking her evolve around her brothers and sisters in law, after all, all I saw from her until now, was a smiley and friendly café owner. Then, we finally start to eat, and the long awaiting question comes from Annie.

“So, Y/N, tell us your story, it seems that you told James it was a long one”, she says.

“Well, I hope you all have a long time to listen to what I’m going to tell.”

And I start to tell them, start to tell my story to seven people I barely know. They all listen to me, something gasping, shifting in their seats at what I’m explaining to them.

“So that’s the whole story”, I finally say when I tell them how I escaped New York and a miserable and unhappy life.

“I think you take the right decision”, Hela says. “It’s better to be alone than in bad company”, she adds. “Please tell me that from now you are going to savor that new freedom”, she concludes, squeezing my hand.

“I will enjoy every second of it”, I reply with a huge smile.

A few hours later, full of food and happy to have new friends, I put my chin on my hand and start to stare at Bucky, who’s happily chatting with Jenny and Annie, laughing with them, I can’t hear what they are talking about, but still, James’ laugh must be one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard. I love how his eyes crinkle, and how he throws back his head when he laughs.

“Oh, he’s very handsome, isn’t he ?”, Hela says behind me, making me snap out of my daydreams. “James, Bucky”, she adds, as I’m opening and closing my mouth, acting like a goldfish out of his tank. “That’s okay, after all, you’re only human. I perfectly understand. If I were attracted by men, I would surely also drool over him. Even if he’s not my type, the guy is gorgeous, in addition to be a sweetheart, so I completely get why you’re smitten. You know, the boy was pretty damaged when he first arrived here. Bad break up, like very very bad break up, his girlfriend was cheating on him for years with a friend of them. He told us that the moment he surprised them, he didn’t think straight, took a bag with a few things, went to the airport and took the first flight he saw on the board, and ended up here. Thor and Loki found him on the beach an early morning they were going to surf. He hadn’t sleep in days. They get him back on his feet. Thor calls that surf therapy. Since then, he stays here, does little jobs to pay a room and food. I don’t know when he’s going to be back in the USA but for now, he seems to be good here. He just needs to believe in him again and to trust someone else. I think each of you would do good to the other. And girl, if I were you and after what you told us tonight, I wouldn’t do anything but enjoy the man’s company, you need to live a little”, she concludes before lighting a cigarette.

She’s right, I need to live a little. Before I can think about something more, Thor comes and grabs me by the shoulder, saying he’s going to show me some traditional Australian game. Around midnight, we all part, Hela saying that if we don’t leave her house, she’s going to kick us outside, because she has to wake up early the next morning. James insists to drop me at my bungalow, while the four others take the other way. We look at them going their way, Thor and Annie holding hands, Loki having his arm around Jenny’s shoulders, while her own arm is around his waist. We turn back to the direction we are supposed to take, a comfortable silence takes place between us. It doesn’t take more than ten minutes for us to reach my bungalow.

“Thanks for taking me back James”, I say, once in front of the door. “I had an amazing evening.”

“I’m glad you did, that was a very nice evening indeed. Look, Y/N, as you intend to stay here for a while, I was thinking maybe I can make you visit the surroundings and if you still want it, I can teach you how to surf”, he says, scratching the back of his head.

“I would love to Bucky. I know this wasn’t hers to tell me but, Hela told me about what brought you here, and I’m sorry. You said it wasn’t a big deal compared to what the reason I was here, but I chose to leave Brock, you didn’t choose to leave that girl, you were forced to.”

“I’m sort of glad she told you, at least, we both learned each other’s story on the same night. Still, I think that that Brock guy never see how lucky he was to have you. You’re not the kind of girl that should be treated like a trophy wife. So, what do you say, do I take you for a stroll ? Thor and Loki are helping Hela tomorrow at her restaurant.”

“I’d love to.”

“So, let’s say tomorrow morning, I’ll be here at 9.30. Good night then”, he adds.

“Goodnight James.”

With that, he turns back and starts to walk to his own place.

As planned, Bucky took me the next day, he parked in front of my door with a big bike. He hands me a helmet and tells me to hold on tight and he starts the engine again.

After that day, meeting with Bucky, Thor, Loki or the girls became a habit. I’m here for a month now, and I think I got used to the fact of being free. Of course, I give news to my family and friends, I sent a few mails from a new email address I made, and postcard or letters, giving the less clue I can for Brock not to find me in case he’s visiting Steve and Peggy, or my parents, which seems very improbable. I had a lot of conversations with Bucky about what it’s like to be single after dating someone for a long time, after almost getting married. We’re becoming closer.

And as he promised the first day we met, today he’s going to give me my first surf lesson. Yesterday we bought me a surf suit and for the time I’m learning, I’m going to use Bucky’s board before buying my own if I manage to stay on his one and if I enjoy it.

“Okay”, he says, helping me to zip my suit, “I’ll be with you the whole time”, he adds, before taking my hand in his. “Are you ready ?”, he asks before we walk towards the water.

I just nod in response, I think I’m impressed, I never surfed of my life.

“Come on”, he makes me follow him in the water and put down the board on its surface. “As it’s your very first time, this is how we’re going to process. I’ll use the same method Thor used with me. You’re going to lay on the board as soon as we have water at the level of your waist. I’ll push the board a little further on the water, then I’ll let the sea push you back to the shore. Is it okay of you ?”, he asks, and I nod again. “Let’s go then.”

I do as he says, and the waves bring me back peacefully on the sand. If it’s that easy, I don’t know why I so worried. The second time, Bucky makes me sit on the board, to check my balance on it. Once again, the waves push me back on the sand.

“There are bigger waves coming, I want to try something if you’re okay”, he says. “You will take the same position sitting on the board, and I’ll be standing behind you. You’ll hold on the board and I’ll take the wave, that way you’ll have the real sensation of surfing, but not yet by surfing by yourself. Is it okay for you ?”

“I trust you, so let’s try it”, I answer.

This time, he lays on the board while I’m sitting on it, swimming towards the open sea. I can see huge waves forming in the distance. Bucky continues to swim, until he stops, waiting for the waves to arrive towards us.

“It’s coming, put yourself on your knees and hold on tight, don’t worry, I’m here”, I hear him shouts above the noise made by the waves. I swallow the lump in my throat when I feel the sea unleash around me. It’s too late to go back.

This time is more violent than the two previous times. Bucky manages to get on his feet and directs the board the best he can, but the waves coming waves are really big. The waves are approaching us, and Bucky manages to keep on. I don’t really know how it happens, Bucky takes a wave looking like a tube and suddenly, we’re up in the air, flipping and the board nosedives, before hitting the surface of the water, making me let go of the edge of it. The last thing I know is that I hit the surface too, and then nothing.

“I’ve got you. Breathe, okay ? I’ve got you.”

I feel like I’m in haze, being dragged to the shore.

“Y/N, can you hear me ? Breathe, I’ve got you and I’m not letting you go.”

I can feel the sand under my legs and cough, water going out of my mouth.

“Breathe, I’ve got you, you’re safe now.”

I cough once or twice before opening my eyes. Bucky sits me up and takes me in his arms, putting a kiss on my head.

“What happen ?”, I ask, still breathing heavily.

“We were caught in a tube. When we hit the water, the pressure made you let go of the board. But you’re okay, look at me”, he says, taking my head in his hands, forcing me to look at him. “You’re okay and that’s the most important”, he kisses my forehead and holds me tighter, while I’m still trying to catch my breathe.

The following days, we try again, being careful that another incident doesn’t happen. After a week and a half, I manage to stand up on the board. I’m not really able to surf yet, but as Bucky says, it’s a good beginning. When he saw what I could do, Thor said that I was going to get better in a few times. They make me smile, they’re so sweet and amazing. I really love them all. A lot of evenings and days off everyone has is spend dinning together or at the beach, sometimes going to explore the surroundings. I really love being here.

I’m here for two months now, and Bucky and I really became closer. We have long talks, sometimes we don’t even talk. Sometimes, I’m just sitting on the beach, a book or my e-reader in hand, his head on my knees, my finger sometimes running through his long chestnut locks. I really feel at peace here.

Tonight, there’s just Bucky and I in my bungalow. Thor, Loki, Hela, Jenny and Annie have a family gathering at the Odinson’s, so I decided to invite him for a diner and a movie. The evening is nice and as usual, we talk about everything and nothing. The night is warm as the day was hot and sunny, the evening is spent quietly until I hear a soft ploc on the tin roofing of the bungalow. I rise for the couch, completely forgetting the movie and running to the window.

“It’s raining”, I excitedly shout to Bucky, who’s still on the couch. “There is something I’ve always dreamed to do”, I put my shoes and rush outside.

It’s not even cold outside and the raindrops are warm on my skin. In barely seconds, I’m drenched . Bucky followed me outside, and he’s standing under the porch, observing me.

“Have you ever danced in the rain ?”, I ask him, joining the gesture to my words.

“Never but you’re gonna catch a cold. Come back.”

“No, I wanna feel the rain on my skin, because no one else can feel it for me.”

I dance for a few more minutes, following the rhythm of the drops falling from the sky. I feel like I’m drunk when I’m obviously not, it’s just that brand new freedom that intoxicate me. I’m free, living in a small bungalow in front of the beach, just have dinner with a handsome guy, I have reasons to be happy.

“Dance with me.”, I plead. “Come on James, dance with me.”

He sighs and finally leaves the porch to join me.

“You’re crazy, you know that”, he says stopping me while I spin on myself. “And anyway, how do you want to dance without music ?”

“There is music around us, can’t you hear it ? The music that the rain makes on the roofs, the walls, the ground.”

I might sound very childish, but it makes him laugh, he throws his head back and laughs of that melodious laugh of his. He grabs my hand and pulls me to him, and we start to sway under the pouring rain. At some point, he pulls me closer to his body, his beautiful blue eyes glued to mine. My own eyes are travelling from his eyes to his lips, several times, and I surprise myself to wonder what his lips tastes like. I’ve never wanted someone to kiss me so much in my life. He might have read my thought because one second later, his lips are on mine, in the most passionate kiss anyone ever gave me. His lips are so soft against mine and my arms find his neck when he deepens the kiss. This makes me feel a little more alive. A real kiss, not those wet sucking Brock dared to call a kiss. After a few moments, we part, both panting, wetter because of the rain, smiling at each other.

“We should go back inside”, he whispers against my lips, “we’re going to be sick.”

He pecks my lips, grabs my hand and we head back to the house.

From that moment, we are more inseparable that we have been since the beginning. I left home for six months now, my skin tanned, I now have brand new skills at surf, and I really not intend to go back for the moment. Steve and Peggy are coming tomorrow, they booked plane tickets to see me and meet Bucky. I also sent a postcard to my mom and dad to let them know that I was alright and that there was no reason to worry about me.

After spending the evening to watch the stars on the beach, we’re now making out on my bed, like a pair of horny teenagers. This became sort of a habit since our first kiss. I’m perfectly conscious that Bucky would like us to go further than just kissing, cuddling and sleeping in the same bed. He’s nested between my legs, his lips are trailing down my jaw and finding my neck that he starts to nibble. I know he wants more, so do I, but for now it’s impossible. I can feel his fingers caress my sides, and make their way under my top tank, tickling my stomach.

“Stop, Bucky, you know we can’t for now”, I whisper.

“I know, I know”, he mumbles against my skin. “I still don’t get why though”, he adds rising his head looking deeply in my eyes. “I mean I get why, but you dumped that jerk six months ago.”

“I know, but I want to properly end this. There are some things I need to do back in New York.”

“Do you really think you plan is going to work the way you want it to ?”, he asks, lifting his body from mine, before spooning my body, his arms around my waist, his hands above mine on my stomach, his chin on my shoulder.

“I hope so”, I sigh. “I think I’m going to return there when Steve and Peggy will go back home. I will settle everything I have to take care of. I have to see my parents too. Move out from Brock’s apartment.”

“Do you want me to come and help you ?”

“You don’t have to James”, I answer, turning in his arms.

“But what if I want to, what if I want to go back to New York with you, help you to move back to your own place, meet your parents. You just have one word to say, and I’ll follow you anywhere you go.”

All he gets for these offers is a kiss and me coming closer to his body, before falling asleep.

“Do you see them ?”, I ask Bucky when we’re waiting at the exit of the plane landing.

“Calm down doll, I’m sure your friends are going to go out of that plane in a few minutes.”

“I can’t wait to see them.”

“I know but stay calm, they will be here in a few minutes”, he says, grabbing my hand and turning me to him, and my body collides with his strong one.

“Hum so do you have an idea to distract me while we’re waiting for them ?”, I ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh don’t worry, I have the perfect idea”, he says, leaning towards me and locking his lips with mine.

And here’s the make out again, though, I’m not complaining. At least not until someone clear their throat behind me.

“So that’s how you welcome your best friends ?”

“Oh my God, Steve”, I shout, throwing myself into his arms. “Peggy”, I do the same with her. “I missed you so much guys.”

“Yeah, we could see that”, Steve says ironically. “You must be James”, he adds, extending his hand to Bucky.

“I am”, the later answers, “and you’re Steve and Peggy. Y/N told me a lot about you.”

“And she told us a few about you, but not much, given the situation, but we’re staying here for a week, so we will have time to lean to know each other”, Peggy says, her arm hooked with mine.

“Let’s go”, Bucky says, “I borrowed Loki’s car and as I know him, if I haven’t return it by the time I said, he’s gonna be mad.”

Steve and Peggy follow us through the airport. I can see their eyes widen at the sight of the Australian landscape. I can’t blame them, everything there is so beautiful. They rented a bungalow next to mine and Bucky drops them before returning the car to Loki.

That night, we are all on the beach, around a fire camp, eating, drinking, laughing. We are all in a good mood, Skurge is roasting some marshmallows on sticks to make us sandwiches with biscuits. I’m sitting between Bucky’s legs, my back to his chest, his jacket on my shoulders, enjoying the evening with my friends. Everything is perfect.

“So that’s why you left”, a voice comes from the dark behind us.

I suddenly freeze, I would recognize that voice in a crowd of thousand.

“Y/N, what’s going on ?”, Bucky asks, as he can sense my body tense.

“What are you doing here Brock ?”, I ask, raising on my feet, Bucky following mere seconds later.

“What am I doing here ?”, he asks, ironically. “What am I doing here ?”, he repeats. “What do you think I’m fucking doing here Y/N ?!”, he screams this time. “I’m here to get my fiancée back to New York”, he finally adds, calmly.

“I’m not your fiancée anymore Brock”, I respond, trying to stay calm, Bucky staying behind me. “I thought this was clear.”

I can see him fulminate in the light of the fire. He’s about to explode.

“Leaving you on the wedding day and sent you back the engagement ring was supposed to be clear enough.”

“I looked for you everywhere, Y/N”, he continues. “Why did you go this far ?”

“Because I had to find somewhere where you wouldn’t fetch me, as this country represents a lot of things you hate, this was the perfect destination. By the way, how did you get here ?”

“Your parents”, he answers, and I open my mouth, completely shocked at the possibility that my parents betrayed me. “They didn’t explicitly said, but as I know I couldn’t expect those two”, he shows Steve and Peggy while saying this, “to tell me where you were, so I showed up at your parents, pretending that I wanted to have some news of them, and when they went to look for something they have to give me back, I looked around and found a post card from Australia pinned on their fridge, so I read it and then I spied on those two for a while and I managed to know when they were leaving, so I bought a ticket and followed. Now you’re going to come back with me and finish what we didn’t finish last time, meaning marry me.”

“No Brock, all that I’m going to do when I come back to New York is ending everything that has something to do with you”, I say, now completely pissed off.

“I don’t think so Y/N, you’ll come back, be my wife and shut up about everything else, you’ll just stand still and look pretty only opening your mouth when I’ll tell you to”, he spits, walking to me aggressively and grabbing my arm.

“Let me go, it hurts”, I try to struggle from his grip, but he only closes his hand tighter. “Let me go Brock.”

“You heard her, let her go”, Bucky moves from behind me to grab Brock’s collar, making him let go of me, while the others stand up, ready to move in case Bucky is in trouble.

“Or what ?”, Brock snarls.

“Bucky, please stop.”

“Bucky ?!”, Brock scoffs, “what kind of name is that, Bucky ?”

This time, Bucky doesn’t hold himself for punching Brock. The later falls on the send, holding his bloody nose.

“Are you okay ?”, Bucky asks me, taking my face between his hands.

“I am”, I nod. “What about your hand ?”, I ask, looking at it.

“It’s probably going to be bruised tomorrow, but it’ll be okay”, he answers before kissing the top of my head.

“I hope you understood now Brock”, I say while my ex fiancé is raising on his feet, “all I’m going to do when I go back to New York is break off all ties with my old life, and everything associate with you. You’ll leave me alone, live your life on your side and forget all about me. I don’t love you anymore, I stopped a while ago and I’m not a trophy wife, I deserve more, I’m my own person and I can decide by myself what I want to do and the most important, I’m finally going to be myself again. So yes, I’m coming back to New York with you at the end of the week, when Steve and Peggy are heading back, I’m getting rid of everything I have to and if you harass me, I’ll ask for a legal restriction from you to approach me. Did I make myself clear ?”

Brock just nod, probably afraid that Bucky is going to punch him again. He raises on his feet, dusts his prohibitively expensive suit, like who wears a suit on an Australian beach, I know a dumbass thinking that the world belongs to him named Brock Rumlow. He turns back and leave. A few minutes later, by common consent, we all decide that it’s time for us to go back home.

“Are you sure you’ll be able to handle all of this by yourself back in New York ?”, Bucky asks me when we’re back at my bungalow.

“I think I will. Don’t worry, I won’t be alone, Steve, Peggy, Sharon and my mom and dad are going to be there for me. This is something I have to do on my own”, I answer, putting my hand on one of his stubbled cheeks.

“Y/N, there is something I want to tell you for a while”, he takes a deep breath and looks at me in the eyes. “I love you. I love all and everything of you. I love your Y/H/C, your stunning Y/E/C, the way you fell in love with that country like I did, how you trust me to learn how to surf. I’m madly in love with you Y/N, and I’m ready to do anything for you. And I’m ready to move aside to let you deal with that jerk. But if you need me, I’ll be here for you.”

“Bucky, I… I love you too”, I answer.

He takes my hand in one of his, and brings it to his lips, kissing each of my finger, then, the back of my hand, and my palm. Finally, his lips crash with mine. I spend the night in his arms, and all the following ones, until the day I have to leave.

It’s a pretty hot day, we surf one last time, have a last dinner at Hela’s Cabin before saying goodbye.

“You will always be welcome here, sweetheart”, Hela says, taking me in her arms. “I packed you one or two things for you, Steve and Peggy to eat during the flight.”

“Thanks Hela”, I tell the brunette while I hug her tight.

Then, Skurge gives me a quick but very tight hug, followed by huge hug from Thor and soft one from Jenny and Annie, and a small but warming one from Loki.

“I’ll miss you all”, I tell them, trying not to cry.

“Call us”, the girls warmly say, “and if you want to come back, just ask.”

Bucky is taking us to the airport, he borrowed Loki’s car again, but this time, the short dark hair man didn’t ask him to bring the car back right away when he did the last time. Once at the airport, I notice Brock walking with his suitcase towards the boarding gates with that arrogant way of walking of his own. Now that I have seen the man he really is, I wonder how I could fell in love with him, especially when sweet men like Bucky exist.

“We are giving you some privacy”, Peggy says before we pass the boarding gates. “Come on Steve, let’s see what’s in the shop over there.”

She grabs his hand and pulls him behind her to the said shop.

“I wish you didn’t have to leave”, Bucky says, taking me in his arms.

“I wish it too”, I answer. “But you perfectly know why I have to go.”

“Am I ever going to see you again ?”, he asks.

“I hope so, I’m not ready to let go of you James Barnes. I don’t know yet when I’ll be able to come back, or if I’ll be able to come back, but I don’t want to lose contact with you.”

“And you won’t, even if that means we have to wait for a long time before seeing each other again. But I’ll call, text or Skype you every day.”

“Calling to all the passengers to New York, flight 568. Passengers to New York, flight 568.”

“That’s us”, I hear Peggy behind me.

“I don’t want to go, but I know that I have to”, I say, crying for good this time, the tears I was holding until now.

“Don’t forget that I love you.”

“And don’t forget that I do too”, I respond, while his forehead touches mine, before putting down a kiss on my lips.

He quickly hugs Steve and Peggy, telling them to take care of me, before taking me again in his arms, before kissing me again. When we’re sitting in the plane, Peggy holds my hand and lets me cry on her shoulder. I feel heartbroken right now, leaving that place I lived in for six months, leaving my new friends, leaving Bucky. I cry myself to sleep, between my two best friends who promised to take care and support me as they always did their whole life to the man I fell in love with.

Once in New York, I take the first few days to see my parents and to explain them everything, why I left and tell them about Bucky. Mom says he’s rather handsome, and dad, he hopes he’s not going to treat me the way Brock did. It’s so relieving to tell them the truth about what they thought was a happy relationship.

Today is the day, I’m going to take back my freedom for real. Dressed in a blouse and a blue skirt, I’m ready to face my boss, Brock’s father, and Brock too, to finally tell them what I think of them and the job I hated for so long. I take a deep breath and push the glass door to enter the Rumlow and Sons law firm.

“Oh, hi Y/N”, Greta, the girl from the reception desk greets me. “You’re finally back”, she adds.

“Not for long Greta”, I answer, “I’m just passing by.”

She looks at me making my way to the elevators. On my way to the top of the building, my old colleagues greet me, all saying that’s it’s good to have me back. I simply smile back to them. When I finally arrive to the last floor, the elevator dings, and I confidently walk to John Rumlow’s office.

“Y/N, please come in”, he friendly says, when he sees me through the windows of his office. “How are you my dear ? You look great.”

He makes me enter his office and closes the door. Brock is already here, looking outside.

“John, Brock.”

“Let’s finish this business, would you”, Brock responds, still bitter of the things I told him a week before in Australia.

“Brock be nice”, John says. “So, Y/N, what do you want to discuss ?”

“First, as I explicitly said to Brock, I’m not going to marry him, I make my self clear enough I think when I left him on our wedding day. I needed to find myself again, I didn’t recognize myself anymore in what I had become. That’s why I left, and it helped me knowing what I want and what I don’t want.”

“That’s what you say, I’m sure you left me for that long-haired guy, what was his name again ? Barky, some shit like this.”

“Brock please, stay polite.”

“James has absolutely nothing to do in that story, I met him there, in Australia. Thing is, I’m not here to discuss my trip or what I’ve done there, because that’s none of your business Brock, because I was free, I am free, I broke up with you the second I left the wedding venue. I’m here to let you know that I quit. Just that I quit, I hate that job, always did. If I did law studies, it was just to please my dad, but that’s not what I wanted. So yes, I may be thirty years old, I don’t know yet what I want, but I’ll probably figure it out. This is my resignation”, I add pulling out some papers from my bag. “I already signed them, this is the end. Nothing connects me with the Rumlow family anymore, and you know what, you can give me a bad reputation, I don’t care, I don’t care because I’m free, and because I met and love someone that don’t want to change me or force me to do things I don’t want. James loves me for who I am contrary to you Brock. Hope you’ll find your perfect trophy wife, it’ll just not be me.”

With those words, I left the office, feeling so good that this should not even be legal. I say goodbye to Greta who watches me with her mouth wide open. It’s raining outside when I push the door to leave and I just want to dance under the drops, like I did back there in Australia, the night Bucky kissed me for the first time. Actually, I start to spin around under the stormy sky, while some of the lawyers working for Rumlow and Sons pass by me, sending me strange looks tucked under their umbrellas.

When my hair is drenched from the rain, I start to go down the stairs, I can see a man leaning on a car.

“So, you also dance under the rain even in New York”, a voice I know very well says.

“What are you doing here ?”, I ask softly.

“Well, there is this girl I met six months ago in Australia. She’s beautiful, sweet, kind, she was rather unhappy here, was going to marry a total jerk before running away, from him. And I wanted to be with her, so here I am. I don’t really know yet what I’m going to do in a country that I ran away from almost three years ago, but it doesn’t matter, as long as I’m with her, if she still wants me. What about you ?”

“I runaway from an unhappy future wedding, went to Australia where I spent the best six months of my life. I met new friends, a handsome young man that I hope to see again someday, maybe try something with him, now that I’m free from my ex fiancé, the well-paid job I hated, that I’m back in my old apartment in Brooklyn, I just have to get my belongings back from said shitty ex fiancé, look for a new job. But above all, I wish I can be with the handsome man that taught me how to surf, he just has to come back to the USA for this, but I think I’m ready to follow him across the world.”

“This seems quite a plan. So, what do you think, would you accept a poor, broke guy that has nothing to offer to you ?”

“Of course, I will.”

I throw myself into his arms, and he spins me around under the now pouring rain. We kiss under it, then Bucky takes my hand and we walk to the nearest subway station. I’m finally ready to write my story staring at the blank page before me. I finally dared to speak the word on my lips. Today is where my book begins, and the rest is still unwritten.

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