#emma swan deserves better

[yourflannelcure]

what could've been, would've been you

#swanfire #swan thief #emma swan #neal cassidy #ouat #swanfireedit #ouatedit #mine* #this song instantly made me think of them #they deserved better #otp: almost home

[roryheart]

Coney Island by Taylor Swift is such a swanfire song omg

#i’m reaching the part in my rewatch where neal dies and i don’t think i can handle going through that again #ughhh they had sm potential 😭 #swanfire #neal cassidy #baelfire #ouat #emma swan #they deserved better :’(

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

Not fanon not canon but a secret third category: your character design and potential was compelling but your arc (or lack thereof) frustrated me so I'm self-aware in the fact that I'm spinning you off in a new direction from the same starting point

#how i write the following characters: #rory williams #emma swan #oluwande boodhari #sander driesen #oliver hampton #kurt hummel #kurt hummel deserves better #ziggy grover #a few others #amy pond #sam evans

[sapphicsimpblog]

So far I’m on season two, but already I’ve got a list of things I’d do if I owned the legal rights to OUAT.

In no particular order; this is that list:

1. Make SwanQueen canon.

2. Have Cora put her heart back in so she can be the mom that Regina deserves. (Definitely have Regina and Cora go to therapy though.)

3. Tf was all that Peter Pan/Neverland business. I get that that’s where we got Henry realizing Regina was actually trying to be a better person and that her past shouldn’t define her future, but like it was a dumb ark. So I’m getting rid of that.

4. In place of the Neverland ark, we’d see Regina and Emma exploring their relationship, Regina and Cora mending theirs, Henry would stop being a little shit. Maybe there’d be something silly and Emma and Regina would share TLK?

5. Snow and Regina would actively try to understand each other, Regina would explain what being married to the soggy raisin was like and snow would see that Regina wasn’t evil she was just hurting.

6. I’d get rid of Neal somehow, like I personally think that a 200+ year old getting a 17 year old pregnant is creepy. Even if he wasn’t in triple digits, he would’ve been around 27 if the show is to be believed and that’s still statutory r*pe in my opinion. Like yeah I get Henry needs to be born but maybe figure out a way to keep him from trying to win Emma back? Like he fucked up big time so, he’d definitely have to go.

7. Hook’s gay. No elaboration. He’s gay. Fight me.

8. Honestly the blue fairy meddled in so much and from what I’ve seen she’s 100% evil. So she’d definitely have to go.

9. Rumple and belle, I know a lot of people like this ship but tbh, it’s kinda icky. Like there’s definitely a Stockholm Syndrome type of thing going on. Idk. Maybe Rumple and Hook can get it on? Belle can be with Mulan.

10. The whole, “Regina’s soulmate has a lion tattoo.” thing? Weird but people change, so I’d explore that but with Tink admitting that people’s soulmates can change as the person evolves.

11. Emma’s tattoo would definitely be explained. Because we all deserved that story.

12. Zelena saw how Cora treated Regina when Rumple showed her Regina’s life so I’d say that she wouldn’t have held any resentment towards Regina. I honestly think the writers could’ve made a much better storyline for them.

13. Another thing, why’d they just send Ruby away? Like, she’s such a great character and they just tossed her aside. They could’ve come up with something better. Especially if she was gonna just pop back up at random times.

14. The Robin/Zelena thing also gave me the ick. So that’s out. That shouldn’t have even been a thing.

15. I liked the time travel thing but if I made Zelena and Regina have a better relationship then that wouldn’t have existed so I’d have to find another villain to make it happen. BLUE!! She’d totally do it.

16. Emma would totally fall through the portal, regina would follow her because “Ms. Swan when will you stop being an idiot?!”

17. Maybe rather than being thrown into one point in time we could see Emma and Regina navigate through different points in their life while trying to keep blue from messing things up?

18. I’d have liked to see a bit more of Henry exploring his role as author. Maybe he’d write the stories properly rather than having a biased story that portrays things as black and white. Idk, I’d just like to see the stories get written as they should have been rather than the way Issac (was that his name?) wrote them.

19. Snow and charming would definitely apologize to Maleficent for taking her child and forcing her to take on Emma’s darkness. Maybe I’d show Emma and Lily finding a spell or something to balance themselves so they wouldn’t be so messed up.

20. Dark Swan ark would definitely happen but it would totally be explored the way it should’ve been. It was the “Dark Swan” ark not the “Pity me Hook and Dark Swan” ark.

Honestly this is all I’ve got so far, if you guys want more I’ll definitely add more but I have to get further along in the show because currently this is all I can remember.

And if you have some things you’d like to add to this list, please do! I would love to see what you all think!

#swan queen #swen #emma x regina #regina mills #emma swan #cora mills #zelena mills #snow white #prince charming #henry mills #OUAT #once upon a time #anti outlaw queen #anti captain swan #anti Adam and eddy #swen deserved better

[aurigabi]

I really need to find the motivation and do the front page of the grand opening of the Jazz Club.

#emma swan #regina mills #swanqueen #mayor mills #Sheriff Swan #The Charmings are still Uncharmings #Ursula deserved better #Lego Storybrooke #Is this a centaur?

[ch1llyic3y]

See no one talks abt it so I keep it to myself but I have to tell y’all about this.

Once upon a time has been my favorite shown since I was five years old and that’s something that’s never changed. And there’s so many things they’ve missed in the show or they had and did badly with (season 7) and some of it is talked about and some isn’t.

So firstly. Can we please talk about how Regina didn’t love Robin at all. I feel like (as much as I love that show) they’re so based on one thing. “You can only have one truly” and I think that’s utter bullshit. Now listen I know it’s a fictional show. But Regina barely knew shit about him. She just yearned to be loved SOOOO much. She settled for the first person to except her. And it’s the same person, that ignored her dark side. And I’m 100% the kind of person who thinks. You can’t love someone without loving them wholly. And I don’t think he did that. He literally left her the minute his wife got back talking abt some fucking “I made a pack” oh shut up you shit head.

Secondly. I think they had so much potential with Zelena and Emma. And you’re probably like… bitch what? IM TALKING ABOUT FRIENDSHIP! I feel like zelena would definitely make a group chat and name it “coven sisters” with Emma and Regina. I think Emma and Zelena has sooo much in common. They would be really quick friends. And see each other as sisters. And maybe even best friends eventually.

Wtf was that aging shit. The seventh season was so confusing. I mean we got so many characters we DESERVED. But it was so fucking confusing. There’s so many doppelgängers and everyone is DEFINITELY related to everyone. And this is suppose to be a whole other universe but y’all saying when Regina was the evil queen she was with dr.faciler. Idk how to spell homeboy name. All I know. Is they wanted money. And that wasn’t the way to get it.

And lastly Emma is the fucking savior. STOP MAKING HER SUFFER. Im so tired of Regina this regina that. Who’s the main character? WHO IS IT? Also. She wasn’t in the last season. What were you trying to accomplish by NOT putting her in there?! Also the truama she has. The pain she has. Emma has had red in her eye-line from season four to season SEVEN. That girl is in pain. Unspeakable pain. And no one talks about. They say she got her happily ever after but home girl still suffering. Also that girl ain’t love hook. This is not some swanqueen agenda. This is me giving it to you straight. Hook said he HATED her. Even as dark ones. Emma still loved him. And Henry. Rumple still loved Neal. SO MUCH HE CASTED A CURSE FOR HIM. Even as a dark one they still were able to love the ones they love most. And shit LOVE THEM EVEN MORE. That’s how the dagger did it. Show you what you desire and STRIP IT FROM YOU. Hook ain’t love shit. NOTHING. NOT A DAMN THING. I think it was something they fed to themselves. They both desired to be loved. Him not wanting to me alone. And her simply because she’s the product of true love. She thinks she NEEDS it. She HAS to have it. And honestly I think she’s better alone.

Anyways… rant over. It’s 7:24 am. I haven’t been sleep. Goodbye children.

#emma swan #regina mills #zelena mills #ouat #Captain Hook #captain swan #once upon a time #oncers #Regina deserved better #Emma zelena and Regina was a trio we deserved #hook wasn’t a bad guy he was just bad for her #zelena deserved a happy ending what she got was ass #fuck Robin Hood #outlaw queen #<<< is not an agenda I fuck with. but the fans gotta see this #swanqueen lowkey eats #like I ship it #kinda… #emma swan is a freaking orphan. forced to save the lives of people who abandoned her. and I’m returns continues to get abandoned #and is constantly forced to smile and act okay. she is not okay! #Regina was a bad person yes. but she’s not the other woman. I’m sick of her being the other woman! who they call when Emma fails? GINA. #king Leopold was obsessed with Snow White and his DEAD wife eva. but who was he married to? GINA #Robin hood wife came back and instead of putting on his big boy pants he left the best person ever. who’s that person? GINA. #zelena mills redemption arc was always downplayed. and she just kept going bad or doing shit. she just wanted to be love. #THEY ALL WANT TO BE LOVE #okay I’m done with my tags rant. I hate rewatching stuff. I get mad for no reason💀💀

[suchanldiot]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTdTAWS46/?k=1

i have only one thing to say after spending most of the day making this:

Fuck 😭

#why is this song so good for them #it deserves better but my skills are limited #swan queen #sq edit #swanqueen #emma and regina #emma swan #regina mills #running up that hill #mine

[leesielex]

Once Upon A Song of Ice and Fire | Ch 2: Sweet Child of Mine

Summary: Dany and Jon arrive in Storybrooke and meet their daughter

A Preview: A dish crashed upon the floor. When they looked over, a girl with light brown hair was staring at her. Her eyes were a familiar purple, surrounded by dark thick lashes. Her lips were pouty and the exact shape of Jon’s. Dany couldn’t move or speak.

Was this her? Was this her Rhyanna? Did she recognize her?

“Look what you have done. Don’t just stand there. Clean it up, Joanna,” a woman in an expensive pants suit and cropped dark hair said to the girl.

Dany’s heart instantly clenched, her body vibrating with the need to protect her. She dug her nails into her thighs, keeping herself in place. It wouldn’t do well to jump to conclusions without confirming it. But she couldn’t deny the way she recognized the look the girl gave her, despite the violet eyes, she could see a lot of Jon in the girl.

Joanna sprang into action, picking up the mug and wiping it with some napkins. “S-sorry, mother,” she stuttered out, her eyes fluttering over to Dany and Jon a few times as she cleaned up the mess.

The young woman from the bed and breakfast came over with a towel, bending down and placing her hand on Joanna’s shoulder. “I got it, hon. Tell Granny to make you another one. On the house of course.”

“Thanks, Ruby,” Joanna said, a shy smile on her face, as she stood up and walked back to the counter to fetch another drink, only flitting her eyes back to them once as she did.

They sat down in a booth behind them. Dany looked at Jon, his eyes finding hers and he gave the smallest of nods, confirming that was her. That was her daughter.

Dany’s hand went to cover her mouth as she held back the emotion that threatened to spill out. She was so close, the pull she felt to her overwhelming, her eyes glued to her as she waited on her replacement drink. Jon must have noticed because he cleared his throat to get her attention, a warning clearly written across his face.

She tried her best to reign in her emotions. She could hold it together, she had been trained to be invisible her entire life, to hide in the background. She could do this, she told herself as she concentrated on her breathing and fixed a mask of indifference firmly in place.

Once she composed herself she picked up her fork trying to appear normal and listen to the conversation behind them. Jon and Dany ate in silence, shuffling their food around their plates more than anything.

“I have meetings the rest of the day in my office. You can come and do schoolwork, but I’ll need silence. Or you can stay at home,” the Mayor said, her voice stern and cold.

Did she always treat Rhyanna like this? So standoffish and formal? Her chest tightened within her ribcage.

“Home, if that’s ok,” she told her.

“Fine. But I expect you to do your work and finish your chores. And Joanna, do not leave the house under any circumstances. Do you hear me?”

Dany wondered if she was always so strict or if Joanna had a habit of breaking the rules. If she was Jon and her kid then the latter was very likely. Jon did mention her trying to sneak out to find them and getting busted, perhaps this explained why her mother was so detached as she spoke to her.

“Yes, mother,” the girl mumbled. Dany could see her roll her eyes, just as she would have done, though the girl was to her back. Jon started to laugh and had to hide it behind his hand, probably noticing exactly what she had.

Jon and Dany sat in the booth long after Joanna and her mother had left. They were there to see her, but doing so soon, in an unexpected way, left them both reeling. It didn’t help that neither of them had a clue where to go from there and were both emotionally inept.

Her mind was spinning from the few moments she had seen her. She was undeniably beautiful, a perfect mixture of both their features. Scenarios danced through her head.

Did Rhyanna, or Joanna rather, hate her? When she faced her again would she scream at her, tell her she was a terrible person for abandoning her and that she wanted nothing to do with her? She imagined her daughter’s purple eyes blazing with anger and pain, looking at her in condemnation.

Jon reached across and laid his hand on top of hers, squeezing. “Hey, it’ll be ok.” He smiled tentatively, seeing the storm brewing behind her eyes.

“Excuse me?”

A small voice came from behind her. Already, she had the voice memorized, etched in her brain and upon her heart.

“Yes?” Dany somehow got out, her voice gravelly, tears fogging her vision.

“Are you Dany Storm?” she asked, her violet eyes wide and hopeful. Her heart beat unsteady, skipping and flipping within her.

“Yeah, kid. I am.” Dany tried to swallow. All her fluids were now pooling in her eyes, leaving her throat drier than the Sahara desert.

“Did you give up a baby for adoption ten years ago?” she asked, her voice squeaking a little bit.

Dany could only nod. This brave girl standing before her, this was her little girl. She was so proud of her already for being able to face this head-on, as she herself was unable to do.

Click here to read full chapter on AO3

#jonerys fanfic #jonerys #daenerys targaryen #jon snow #fanfic #ao3 #jonerys endgame #daenerys deserved better #once upon a time au #dany is emma swan #cersei lannister #the evil queen #targlings

[sprnklersplashes]

give me back my girlhood

it was mine first

#emma swan #ouat #once upon a time #midnights making me have feelings about fairytale show... miss swift u will pay /s #she deserved so much better

[kazoosandfannypacks]

A few tropes I've seen in Captain Swan AUs that I adore

(by no means a comprehensive list, nor are these present in every fic!)

David and Emma are siblings. In almost every modern au, David is Emma's overprotective older brother, and Mary Margaret is her sister-in-law. They are almost never her parents.

Liam is alive! Victory!

Liam is not alive! Angst!

Rumbelle must be fixed. There is an innate realization in CaptainSwan fans that Rumplestiltskin has committed too many errors and Belle deserves better, so I'm delighted by how many modern aus pair her off with someone else entirely, as a treat. This often pairs well with a Liam Lives AU.

Elsa! Elsa only showed up in half a season of ouat, but she's often given a sister or close friend role for Emma, and that's honestly very beautiful.

Jefferson and Hook are friends. These guys literally never interact in canon, but they have a good fanon friendship for whatever reason

While the villainization of Milah, Neal and Walsh is common in fics, I have never seen a fic in which Graham is the evil ex boyfriend. In this house we honor Graham Humbert.

Brennan Jones is a bad dad, always, in every universe. I remember reading a fic where not only was Brennan still alive and being a bad dad, but Cora was Killian's stepmother, and there was a section where Bennan told Cora off for something she did and I thought "wow, you know you're a bad parent when Brennan Jones calls you out on it."

#once upon a time #killian jones #emma swan #captain swan #anti rumbelle #belle french #graham humbert

[whimsicallyenchantedrose]

Season 3 Rewatch Drabbles: 3x10 The New Neverland

(gif by just-be-magnificent.tumblr.com)

Summary:  A series of 100-500 word drabbles to accompany my    rewatch of season 3 of Once Upon a Time.  There will be a drabble–either a deleted scene, a “fix it” fic or a character musing for each episode of the season.  Focus will be on Emma, Henry, the Charmings and Killian–with an emphasis on Captain Swan’s epic love story.

Word Count: 736

Other Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27) (28)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Killian sat brooding on his bar stool at Granny’s diner nursing a mug of beer.  As he watched Emma converse with her lad, his heart sank.  He loved her, wanted her more than he’d wanted any woman in centuries.  He wanted to be with her, be the man she came home to at the end of the evening, the man she confided in, loved, gazed at adoringly, the man she allowed in her life and in her bed.

But more than anything, he wanted to see her happy.  They understood each other, that was true enough.  Though the circumstances couldn’t have been more different, their lives were similar in a heartbreaking way.  Like him, she’d seen too much pain, too much hurt, too much fighting just to survive.  He deserved the fate he had, but she didn’t.  She deserved everything, every happiness life had to offer.

Even if it wasn’t with him.

He’d had hopes when they were in Neverland that he could be a part of that happy future with her–especially after the earth-shattering kiss they’d shared.  He’d been quite serious about pursuing her, courting her, winning her heart honestly and with no trickery.

But it had all been a beautiful but unattainable dream–as odd as it was to have one of those on a land seemingly built on nightmares.

He’d seen that clearly as soon as the Roger had touched down upon the waters of Storybrooke and his passengers had disembarked.  He hadn’t expected a ceremony in his honor, effusive speeches of gratitude.  He hadn’t even really expected thanks, but he had hoped for…something.  Some acknowledgement, some camaraderie, some, any, sense of belonging in the group of triumphant heroes.

For a split second, he thought he’d get it.  The lady Snow had spoken of someone they needed to give credit, someone they needed to thank, and his heart had lept, thinking it was he of whom she spoke.

But he should have known better.  It was Regina who was the focus of her gratitude.

No, Killian could see it clearly at that moment.  Pan had been right.  He was, and would ever be in their eyes, nothing but a pirate, a villain, someone with whom they could make temporary alliances when the situation called for it, but someone to never truly trust or allow within their inner circle.

He couldn’t blame them, truly.  He’d spent centuries committing the vilest of acts in pursuit of his revenge.  There was far too much in his ledger that he could never wipe out.  Swan deserved someone worthy of her.  Henry deserved a better father figure.

Whether or not Neal fit the bill, he didn’t know.  Swan hadn’t given him details of how Baelfire had hurt her, but it was clear he had, deeply so.  Perhaps the wound would prove to be too deep to overcome, but Killian had to give the lad the opportunity to try.  He owed him that much at least.  He would not be the cause of another family breaking apart.

Maybe a miracle would happen.  Maybe in the end, Swan would choose him, but in the meantime, Killian knew what he had to do.  He had to back off for the sake of the boy–both the boy Baelfire had once been, the one Killian had betrayed, and Swan’s own lad.

Aye, perhaps a miracle would happen, but Killian didn’t trust to hope.  He’d long since lost the right to wish for miracles.

Note:  Grrr!  If there’s one thing (other than Neal just being…well…NEAL) that makes me crazy about 3x10, it’s the fact that the heroes just seem to dismiss Killian.  Look at what he did for them: He went back to Neverland, the place he’d spent centuries of the worst years of his life.  He chose to bury the hatchet and work with his sworn enemy.  He’d offered his ship and his services for as long as they needed them, and in exchange?  In exchange they took it all for granted, not even thanking him, barely even acknowledging his presence.  They’ll give Regina credit for the role she played in saving Henry, but they won’t even acknowledge the far greater role Killian played, and it just makes me both sad and angry for him.  Thus this fic.  We know Killian suffers from a good deal of self-loathing.  This is what I assume led to his decision to back off when it comes to Emma.

NEXT CHAPTER->

#season 3 rewatch drabbles #cs fanfiction #ouat fanfiction #my fanfiction #3x10 the new neverland #killian jones

[beckettj]

Rum and Wagers

Roses are red Violets are blue Rum is much cheaper Than dinner for two Especially when your best friend co-owns a bar and gives it you for nothing. Single on Valentine’s Day, Emma goes to bartender and best friend, Killian, for alcohol and advice on how not to be single for next Valentine’s Day.

3050 words of Valentine's Day fluff.

Read on Ao3

“I hate Valentine’s Day! It’s nothing but a huge corporate scam!”

Emma huffed as she reached the bar. She grabbed the cheap, cardboard, heart-shaped beer mats and flung them across the room onto a vacant table, as far away from her as she could possibly get them. She dropped onto a barstool, rested her elbow on the bar and leaned her face against her fist.

Killian stood behind the bar, tea towel in hand, drying off recently washed glasses. He raised an eyebrow, watching her in amusement, and failed to hold back a chuckle.

“You were all over Valentine’s Day last year,” he recalled. “In fact, I distinctly remember being the one to watch over your lad whilst you want off to some swanky five-star hotel with the twat-that-shall-not-be-named.”

“Because you were and still are depressingly single and now I’m in the same damn boat,” Emma groaned. “I can’t believe I’m single on Valentine’s Day.”

“Well, you know what they say, love. Roses are red, violets are blue-”

“Oh, no.”

“Rum is much cheaper than dinner for two,” he finished with a grin, brandishing a brand-new, untouched bottle of rum from beneath the bar. “Especially when your best friend co-owns a bar and gives it you for nothing.”

He retrieved two rum glasses and set them on the bar, promptly uncapping the bottle and pouring the liquid into both glasses. Emma chuckles as he went overboard on the measures. He always knew when she was looking to get drunk.

He set the bottle down and reached out for one of the glasses.

She looked at him curiously, “Drinking on the job?”

He lifted his glass and gestured around the empty bar with it, “I realise you’re caught up in your moping, Swan, but it’s utterly dead in here. The Rabbit Hole isn’t exactly the hotspot for a romantic Valentine’s Day date.”

Emma sighed as she picked up her glass, “Are you saying we’re the only two single people in Storybrooke?”

“Well, the only two sociable single people at any least,” Killian remarked. “So, cheers to that.”

They clinked their glasses together then simultaneously necked the entirety of their contents, placing the empty glasses back down on the bar with a light, synchronised thud.

“Hey, if it makes you feel any better, Neal is just as single as you are,” Killian pointed out.

“So much for not naming him,” Emma muttered. “And I don’t know about that. I’ve heard the rumours about him cosying up to Tamara.”

“Ah, you’ve caught that then?”

Killian picked up the rum bottle again, pouring out more alcohol.

“I mean, it’s fast, right? What’s it been, a month? Is it even a month? That doesn’t add up, does it?” Emma questioned.

Killian opted not to answer, instead taking one good, long swig of his rum.

“This is the part where you tell me he wouldn’t have cheated on me,” Emma prompted.

“I’m afraid I couldn’t tell you that, Swan,” Killian replied. “Unfortunately, I believe the prick is more than capable of disrespecting you like that.”

Emma happily took the second drink waiting for her.

“You deserve better than Cassidy, love,” Killian told her. “I hope you realise that.”

“And you tried to tell me that all along,” Emma spoke with a long, regretful sigh. “Why the hell didn’t I listen to you?”

“I’m both your bartender and your best friend,” Killian pointed out. “I exist to listen to all your problems and give you astonishingly good advice that you’ll inevitably ignore.”

“Maybe it’s time we change that,” Emma proposed. “So how do I avoid being single by next Valentine’s Day?”

Killian paused, brow furrowing as he considered, and then shook his head, “Maybe it’s best we don’t mess with the trusted, old-age system of you electing to ignore my advice?”

“Oh, come on! Don’t hold out on me now! Not when I’m finally ready to listen to you,” she encouraged.

She finished her drink and promptly took matters into her own hands, leaning over the bar to pick up the bottle of rum and pour out her latest drink.

He hastily grabbed the bottle out of her hands, stopping her from pouring any further. The contents of her glass threatened to spill over the brim, forcing her to lean forwards and sip some from it before she was able to lift it without spilling any. Killian placed the bottle to the back of the bar, out of her reach but still well within his.

His own glass would need topping up soon enough.

“You do realise, Swan, that you’re asking dating advice from a guy who is, and I’ll quote, ‘pathetically unacquainted with the dating world of the twenty-first century’?” he challenged, his arms folded across his chest, a bemused smirk meeting his gleaming blue eyes.

Emma took a swig of her drink and frowned, “Someone said that about you? I mean, they’re not exactly wrong; I don’t think you have dated anyone since high school and we graduated in oh-one. Of course, I know you had that weird friends-with-benefits kind of set-up with Tink in college but that hardly counts as dating. Anyway, I digress… who, who said that about you?”

“You did.”

“I did?”

“Aye.”

“When?”

“Last night.”

“Ooohhh,” Emma drew out upon vaguely recalling the conversation. “In my defense, I was very drunk last night.”

“Mmm,” Killian hummed as he finished his drink and began topping it up. “It appears tonight is headed in a similar direction.”

“What else is there to do when you’re single on Valentine’s Day? Which reminds me, you’re holding out on me,” Emma downed a good chunk of her drink and pointed at him with her glass. “This astonishingly good advice you spoke of earlier, put your money where your mouth is and hit me with it.”

“On this, I’m none the wiser, else I wouldn’t be single myself, would I?” he reasoned with her.

He proceeded to take a big gulp of his drink, lowered it from his lips, then promptly decided to take another large swig.

“Well, you’re no help! I’ll have to work it out for myself, won’t I? The way I see it, I’ve got a few options,” Emma mused. “So, single men of Storybrooke… there’s Gold-”

Killian broke into a hard burst of laughter which almost caused him to choke on his drink, “Your ex’s father? You’ve gotta be bloody joking!”

“If you let me finish, I was about to rule him out,” Emma returned. “How desperate do you think I am?”

“Not desperate at all,” Killian responded immediately, “which is exactly why your list of single men in Storybrooke goes as follows; Leroy’s not your type, Sidney’s ruled out after you punched him in the jaw, Whale’s… well, Whale, Graham – if I recall correctly – was a fling way back when and nothing else, and August was friend-zoned after the first drink, the poor sod.”

“And your list of single women in Storybrooke goes; Belle who punched you in the jaw-”

“That was a huge misunderstanding, and you know it, Swan!”

“Zelena who, well, good luck to you if you go down that road, and Lily who can’t hold a serious relationship to save her life,” Emma recounted. “So, what are we to do, Killian? We can’t be doomed to be single forever.”

He hastily downed the contents of his glass and poured himself a healthy refill, even topping her glass up despite it not even being half-empty. He took another big gulp of his rum then set it down. He scratched the back of his neck, and his jaw twitched as he finally looked her way again.

She stared at him expectantly and, when he remained silent, prompted, “What?”

“What?” he returned.

“What aren’t you telling me?”

He downed his refill of rum then dared to innocently question, “What?”

“You’ve just shipped a boat load of liquid courage,” she pointed out, “and you’ve got that look on your face.”

“What look? I don’t have a look.”

“You do have a look! Your eyes are all narrowed, you’re frowning, your jaw keeps twitching and you’re scratching your neck like a cat with fleas,” she challenged him. “That’s your ‘I’ve got something to say but it’ll make things worse’ look.”

Killian gave up on the glasses, gulping down the rum straight from the bottle. He set the near-empty bottle on top of the bar. Between them, they’d made light work of its contents.

He eventually spoke, “In all our discussions about your options in the last month, there’s one eligible guy in Storybrooke that you’ve yet to consider.”

“Really?” Emma sounded unconvinced. “It’s a small town. Single guys around here are hard to come by. I thought we had them all covered. Sidney, Leroy, Whale, Graham, August… who am I missing?”

The dregs at the bottom of the rum bottle were coaxed down Killian’s throat.

“Me.”

The empty bottle hit the bar with a resounding thud.

Emma laughed.

“I’m entirely serious, Swan.”

Emma composed herself, lifted her head up and everything had changed. She saw Killian in a whole new light, not as her best friend or her bartender but as a man who had always looked at her as if she were his whole world; the very man who she had called – day and night – whenever she and Neal had argued, the man who would drop everything to be by her side, the man who had always known whether she needed alcohol, an ear to talk off, a shoulder to cry on, or a punching bag, and provided it without ever being asked.

The words started to pour out of Killian’s mouth, “I can’t keep pretending that there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think of you, that you don’t brighten my day every time you walk into this mere tavern. I can’t keep pretending like it didn’t crush my heart to see you with Neal, that I didn’t feel a glimpse of hope every time you two argued, that it didn’t kill me every time you decided to reconcile with that prat.”

“Killian.”

“The bloody fool doesn’t even realise what he’s given up,” Killian continued. “You’re amazing; you’re smart and you’re strong and so breathtakingly beautiful. You’re a shining light in a dark world-”

“Killian.”

“-like a lighthouse guiding me safely home to shore. And I could have stood here and given you the advice you were looking for, told you to give online dating a go, but I couldn’t run the risk of standing here, forced to watch once more as an unworthy man treats you like dirt on the bottom of his shoe when you deserve to be treated like a princess-”

“Killian.”

“-and whilst I treasure our friendship deeply – it’s that which has kept me holding my tongue so bloody long – I know grander treasure lies beneath the surface of what we share already, if only we’re both willing to fight for it. Because I would, Emma, I would fight for-”

“Killian!” Emma snapped, finally succeeding in cutting him off.

Or, at the very least, she had thrown him from his rambling thoughts for he gulped at her pointed tone and promptly backtracked, “I’m sorry, Emma, forget I said anything. I – rum! The bloody thing is like a tru-”

“Fucking hell, Jones, kiss me already!”

He didn’t need telling twice; he leapt impressively over the bar and before Emma could even marvel at that feat, his lips crashed against hers and her thoughts melted away; the rest of the world and her worries with them. His warm, gentle hands rushed all over her body, desperately exploring, as her hands gripped tightly to his hair, keeping him close, entangling her fingers in his dark locks. The rum on his breath harmonised with hers and her heart leapt in her chest, the little hairs on the back of her neck standing on end, for they clung to each other – lips, hands, fingers, legs – as if fighting for their lives. Her mind was convinced she’d been reborn, experiencing her first kiss all over again for the kiss is unparalleled to anything she’d ever experienced before, as if she’d been doing it wrong.

She chased after his lips when he moved back, initiating a series of small, yearning, fast kisses – his lips remaining attentive, coming and going like waves against a ship – neither wanting the moment to end, both gasping for oxygen and made breathless by the desperate passion of the initial kiss. She couldn’t let him go, clutching onto his neck for dear life. She wrapped her legs tightly around his waist, claiming him as hers, and chuckled teasingly against his lips.

“I want you,” she murmured, her lips dancing and brushing against his as she did so.

His voice was steeped in desire, low and impossibly enticing, “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear you say those words.”

She smiled against his lips, “Good things come to those who wait.”

“I’m done waiting.”

“Good.”

Despite his words, he pulled his head back and she leaned after him.

“Wait,” he spoke gravely.

“You’re a fucking tease, Jones,” she complained.

“I don’t want a one-time fling.”

“I don’t want a one-time fling,” she returned.

“I’m done with flings.”

“I never started.”

“Uhh…”

“Other than Graham.”

“I want this, beyond tonight.”

“Me too.”

“Good.”

He took a few steps forward and she clung to him in the way a crying child clings to its mother, fully prepared to delve into a tantrum should someone so wickedly take him from her. He placed her down gently, perched on the edge of the pool table. He was too far away, half a step away, and she pulled him in by his jacket, smothering herself in him.

He kissed her again and showed off, proving men can be capable of multi-tasking by ripping her shirt from her body simultaneously, the buttons bouncing and rolling along the floor, forgotten instantly. He pulled back from her, and she reached out urgently for him, too far away, as he hastily removed his shirt from his body.

He pounced on her before his shirt could hit the floor, his presence guiding her down onto the pool table, sending the neatly arranged balls spawling across the table. He craved her as much as she craved him, more so perhaps. Where the fog of Neal and past lovers had finally lifted, allowing Emma to see him clearly for the first time, Killian had been biding his time, awaiting the very moment for most of his life. Her enticing figure had featured in many a dream since their high school days and he wasn’t fully convinced he wasn’t dreaming. It wouldn’t have been the first time he’d been duped by such cruel, lifelike dreams, fast asleep on the bar, empty bottles of merchandise surrounding him. If it were a dream, he hoped no one woke him; if it truly were a bloody miracle, he aimed to impress.

He danced a series of kisses down her neck, burrowing his nose against her skin, soaking in the sweet, combined scent of rum, cinnamon, and the raspberry air freshener she insisted on keeping in her old car. His onslaught of kisses continued lower, against her shoulder, down her collarbone and to the top of her chest. His tongue was keen to join the party, gliding over the top of her right breast as his fingers worked at the clasp of the bra strap on her back, her own hands working at his belt, the brushing of her arm against his crotch only fuelling his longing for her.

“Bloody hell.”

A new voice broke their moment.

They froze. Emma’s bra dropped. Killian’s belt released, his pants dropping to unveil white boxers beneath; ones which left very little to Emma’s imagination.

Or Liam and Elsa’s.

The couple stood at the bar, staring in shock at the sight before them. Killian raced to hitch his pants up and chucked his previously abandoned shirt at Emma, aiding her urgent attempt to cover up.

“Now I’m glad the pair of you have gotten your shit together and stopped staring longingly at each other’s backs but for fuck’s sake, Killian, not on my bloody pool table!” Liam sounded simultaneously pleased and irate.

“Amazing timing as always, Liam,” Killian muttered and helped Emma from the pool table. “Come on, love, I have a private room above.”

Killian got Emma as far as the bottom of the stairs before Liam called out after them, “Oh, do me a favour and don’t go public with this ‘til March or else I’ll have to fork over a hundred dollars to Will; sneaky bastard claimed February right from under me!”

“You and Will wagered on this?” Killian remarked in surprise, all the while pulling Emma further up the stairs.

“Mate, the whole bloody town is in on this thing,” Liam returned. “In fact, it’s her best mate, Mary Margaret, who’ll be quids in should you hold off ‘til Match.”

“She could do with the money,” Emma mused as they reached the top of the stairs. “For the wedding.”

“And I could do with you, in my bed, right now,” Killian growled out impatiently.

“Your wish is my command.”

It was a wish she not only granted that night, but regularly in the nights which followed until his bed became their bed and by the next Valentine’s Day neither one of them was desperately single, instead madly in love, celebrating not only Valentine’s Day but the anniversary of the day they became more than friends. As far as the whole town were aware, it was nothing more than Valentine’s Day for March the third had been the day Will had ‘walked in’ on their ‘first kiss’ and promptly cursed them out for not ‘seeing the bloody obvious’ three days earlier.

Mary Margaret gained an extra one-thousand-one-hundred dollars to put towards her fairytale wedding.

Emma and Killian never got an explanation for why twelve people were so willing to place a hundred dollars on a bet involving the two of them; they did both agree never to speak of the tampered wager but conceded that a bottle of rum could well uncover the truth hidden between them…

----

Tag List (taken from the CSMM list - let me know if you want adding/taking off).

@teamhook @laianely @booksteaandtoomuchtv @exhaustedpirate @anmylica @hollyethecurious @kmomof4 @winterbaby89 @undercaffinatednightmare @resident-of-storybrooke @tiganasummertree @stahlop @lfh1226-linda @darkshadow7 @fleurdepetite @captainswan-kellie @motherkatereloyshipper @soniccat @jrob64 @whimsicallyenchantedrose @jonesfandomfanatic @myfearless-love

#cs ff #captain swan #rum and wagers

[pirateswhore]

You're enough - comfort one-shot

It's never easy to have your disability be made into a joke - to be reminded every day that you're not good enough or deserving of love & for it to be your defining trait. Killian has learnt to live with it. That doesn't mean Emma can't remind him from time to time.

for @vasfasan HAPPY BIRTHDAY STINKY <33 ILY

Read on ao3 || Read below:

"Mum, could you help me with an art project tonight?"

"Sure, Hook's staying over so we'll help you."

"I think the pirate's going to be more a hindrance than help."

"The one-handed wonder is only good for pillaging and plundering. It honestly surprises me how he can do anything."

"Maybe it's time we replace the missing dwarf. I'm thinking - Stumpy?"

"Shut the fuck up already!"

The dinner falls silent, heads turning towards him. He stands, chair creaking against the floor. His eyes flash across the people sitting at the table with him. A muscle in his jaw twitched and he turns, making haste towards his bedroom in the inn. He can hear the hushed murmur of comments behind him, but his mind is too hazy to actually focus on what they're saying.

He pushes past a confused and worried Ruby and makes it to his room. Shutting the door behind him, he slumps against it. His chest is tight, his breath uneven and strained and his knees give out as he slides down to the floor. His head falls back, a low thud against the wood. His eyes glaze over as tears pool down his cheeks. He swallows, pushing the lump caught in his throat deeper down.

Hook. Pirate. One-handed wonder. Stumpy.

Through his sobs, he can hear a gentle knock on the door. He steadies his breath enough to grunt a "Go away," but it comes out a lot less demanding than he intended.

"Killian, it's me. Please let me in?"

He stands, wiping his face with his hand. He shakes his head, wipes the tears and opens the door. Emma's standing in front of him, hands trembling and anger on her face. She softens and smiles at him, but he doesn't return it.

"What, no comment on how I can unlock the door with one hand?" he grits out, trying his best to sound angry, but his voice cracks and he sounds more pathetic than anything.

"Killian..." she sighs, shaking her head. "Can I come in?"

He rolls his eyes but steps aside so she can enter the room. He closes the door behind her but doesn't turn to face her.

"I told Regina and my parents off for the comments. Henry's pretty disappointed with them too."

He doesn't reply, standing still with his eyes fixed on the floor.

"I'm sorry for what they said, I promise not to-"

"You promise not to do what?" He snaps around, catching her off guard. "Not to comment? Not to insult? Not to stare and laugh? You're a few months late to that party, Swan."

She swallows and steps forward. "I'm sorry for not saying anything sooner. You're usually good at standing up for yourself, and you said nothing so I assumed it was all in good fun." Her hand reaches out, stroking his cheek and his facade breaks. A cry breaks from his chest and he closes his eyes, leaning into her touch.

She leads him to the bed and sits them down, never taking her hands off of him. One hand holds his cheek as the other strokes through his hair.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

He swallows, fingers playing with the zipper of her jacket.

"I didn't want to put a strain on your relationship with your parents. I knew you would get upset with them and I didn't want you arguing with them over me."

She pulls away, worry etched into her features. "Babe... if they're hurting you, you should've said something. I would have told them off earlier."

"I'm not worth the trouble, love."

"To me you are."

He scoffs and shakes his head. She holds him closer, pressing him into her chest.

"I hope you know I don't see you that way. The hook doesn't bother me," she whispers into his hair.

"You deserve better."

"And what could be better than you?"

He straightens, deliberately avoiding her gaze. She tilts his head up and meets his eyes with a soft, encouraging smile. He sighs.

"Someone you won't be ashamed of. Someone who's not broken and ruined. Someone you won't have to explain what you see in him, you won't have to justify your choice to people. Someone who will be able to hold you and touch you with both hands. Someone you wo-"

She cuts him off with her fingers to his lips, a gentle chorus of "shush" on her own.

"Killian, listen to me. I don't care about any of that. I'm not ashamed of you. You may not be perfect, but neither am I, and I refuse to believe either of us is ruined beyond repair. You've helped piece my heart together, and I hope I'm doing the same to you. I don't care about what people think of us, and I don't owe an explanation for my choices to anyone. If they can't see what I see in you, well. Their loss, really." She took his hook and hand in hers and placed it on her sides. "And you can hold me very well, thank you very much. If anyone, anyone, dares to object to that, to us, I have no problem setting them straight. I'll stand up to whoever has a problem with it."

"It's rotten work."

"Not to me. Not if it's us."

His mouth hangs open, tears stinging the corners of his eyes. He lets out a shaky breath. Her hands rest on his chest, anchoring him to her. He drops his head and smiles, a breathy "I don't deserve you" on his lips. She leans in and kisses him, soft and sweet, pouring all her unspoken feelings into it.

Their foreheads rest against one another and they hold each other close.

"You're enough. You'll always be enough. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise."

She takes his hook, carresing it gently, fingers wrapped around its curve. She presses it against her chest, the coolness of the metal causing her skin to prickle. She smiles at him. "This? This makes no difference to me. It doesn't change how I see you, nor does it make me think less of you."

She leans forward to whisper into his ear. "And while I'm being honest, it's unbelievably attractive."

He laughs. Finally, he laughs, happy and hearty and she can feel the rumble in his vest through her palm. He reaches up, running his fingers across her cheek. There's a tenderness in his eyes, and she's certain no one has ever looked at her like that, not before him. Tenderness, utter devotion, lo-

Her thoughts are derailed when he lunges forward, kissing her and pinning her to the bed. She reciprocates in a second, pulling him into her.

"Does Henry still need help with his school project?" he murmurs between kisses.

"Not for a few hours."

"Good."

#chantecler writing #killian jones #emma swan #ouat #captain swan #emma x killian #ouat fic #cs fic #captain swan fanfic #fan fic writing

[victoriously-wicked]

ROBIN HOOD S5 RANT

Would you consider me mentally unstable if I told you that during my first watch of OUAT, I cried for 30 minutes straight after watching Robin Hood get killed?

Y-You would?

*coughs* well then, it’s a good thing I definitely didn’t do that . . . 😳

. . . okay maybe I did, BUT in all fairness, while I was of course crying because Robin was dead, a large part was over the fact that Regina’s happiness was once again stripped away from her, AND FOR WHAT REASON?!

I mean c’mon, she had redeemed herself countless times up until this point, I’d say she’d more than earned it. And honestly, Robin made her SO much better, he was one of the best things that ever happened to her and yet, look at how his story ended.

He did not deserve this at all.

Seriously, who was Robin’s living affecting? nobody.

Hell, the reason he died was because he threw himself infront of Regina, saving her from dying at Hades’ hand. And you’re telling me that’s NOT someone who deserves to be revived from the underworld?!

(yes I know Hades said the crystal that killed Robin blinked him from existence, but for some reason a part of me thinks Hades was bluffing, just to screw with Regina even more. There has to be some world where Robin’s soul is currently at. And in my mind, Robin’s at peace in this other world and watching over the Swan-Mills-Charming-Stilskin Squad and their adventures while also just waiting for the day that Regina, Henry, Roland, Nobin and the others will eventually join him.)

What makes his death a hundred times worse is that, like Regina said to Emma, it’s not fair that Hook got to come back from the dead, but Robin didn’t.

Look at it this way, before their redemptions, Hook was a pirate that would sail the seas, pillaging and killing hundreds of people with zero remorse, but Robin? He was just a common pickpocket. Not trying to hate on Killian because he did end up redeeming himself after coming to Storybrooke, but looking at it from the angle of Robin and Hook's wrongdoings, Killian seems to deserve a fate of death more than Robin. I feel like if anything, Robin has probably only killed one or two people ever, and it was most likely in self defence or something.

Oh, and another thing- Hook mentions that he was revived as a reward for helping defeat Hades. Uhhhh . . .

. . . WHAT THE HELL WAS ROBIN DOING WITH THE GROUP IN THE UNDERWORLD THEN? WHAT, HE JUST TAGGED ALONG FOR THE FUN OF IT? NO, HE HELPED THE SQUAD DEFEAT HADES.

And he helped just as much as Hook did, even more so, in my opinion. If Robin hadn’t sacrificed himself, Regina wouldn’t have had the time to knock the crystal away from Hades. And if Regina hadn't knocked it away from Hades then Zelena wouldn’t have been able to grab it and use it to kill him. Hook, he got the missing book pages to Emma, who was outside the building when Zelena killed Hades. Even if the pages hadn’t reached Emma, Robin and Regina would’ve still been in the office with Hades and the crystal. But, I’ll give Killian credit; if he hadn’t gotten the pages to Emma, she wouldn’t have tried breaking the protection spell on the building, and then Robin and Regina probably wouldn’t have had a diversion to sneak in the office.

Just another little note, I HATE how they gloss over the funeral and his death in general. I don’t feel as though everybody’s reaction to it were really touched upon in the following episodes.

All in all, I’m just so upset at how badly they screwed up this epic couple and storyline. Robin didn’t deserve to die. Regina didn’t deserve to watch another True Love die in her arms.

They both deserved better.

Sorry for the rant, I’m just REALLY passionate about this topic

#once upon a time #ouat #outlaw queen #regina mills #robin hood #emma swan #killian jones #robin x regina #regina x robin #emma x killian #emma x hook #ouat s5 #sean maguire #lana parrilla #jennifer morrison #colin o'donoghue #userswanmills #userstorybrooke

[hitchell-mope]

My thought on season five.

It took way too long. Partly because of laptop trouble. Mostly because of Lena’s stupid bastardous existence. But I’ve finally finished season five of supergirl. And as always. I have Opinions. Some of which many will most likely hate. So please. Read the fucking tags before you click the readmore. It’ll save you a helluva lot of time. Got that? Good. Now let’s begin.

I still miss Mon El. It’s A Super Life was nowhere near enough. Kara needs her soulmate dammit. I know it ends with Kara becoming The Sponge Who Could Fly. But she, and we, deserved Mon El back full time.

I miss Winn and I miss James. I know why they’re actors left. And I don’t blame them for leaving. I blame the hellers of the fandom. But still. I miss them

I’m loving dansen. No notes. Yet.

I really like Andrea. She’s much more sympathetic than Lena is.

I’m loving William. I know he dies. And I’m bracing myself for it. But right now he’s the Graham Humbert to Kara’s Emma Swan. If you you know what I mean.

It’s. A novelty to see Buono play a modern role after seeing her in Mad Men and Stranger Things. I don’t like Gamenae. I’m just saying it’s a novelty.

I found Lex screaming in Lena’s face at the end of The Missing Link to be incredibly cathartic. It was high time that she got yelled at.

I still maintain that Lillian is the superior Luthor. Far more impressive, and better acted, than her bastard stepdaughter could ever hope to be.

Once again. Everyone brings their A Game. Except for Lena’s actress.

I am STILL pissed off about the wonky as fuck morality system in this show. And I FULLY believe that I am always going to be pissed off about it.

There’s probably more. But this is all I can think of right now. So. Tell me what you think?

#arrowverse #supergirl #kara danvers #mon el #mon el defense squad #karamel #winn schott #james olsen #alex danvers #kelly olsen #dansen #andrea rojas #william dey #lex luthor #anti lena luthor #lillian luthor

[swanqueensalad]

regina mills & unconditional love

no but guys regina mills did not know what it was like to be unconditionally loved until emma swan. i’m not even being dramatic here - i mean maybe this is a reach but it is mostly true whichever way you look at it and i’m going to back myself up.

even if people did love regina unconditionally before, that is not how regina would have felt and understood it. 

cora mills could have loved her daughter had she opted to keep her heart, but she did not. she chose power over love, and chose to ‘protect’ herself from her feelings, which could have prevented her from being brutal enough to use regina in the way she always knew she would have to. she did this before regina was even born. (what also hurts me about this is that cora did not have her heart when she was pregnant with regina, so literal fetus regina would not have been soothed by a mothers heartbeat - only silence.) 

baby regina knew mothers were supposed to love their children, and she certainly knew her mother said she did - with a stroke of the hair, to manipulate her into doing something. (’you know how much i love you darling, i just want what’s best for you.’) or to excuse her actions after a particularly harsh punishment. (’i only have to hurt you because i love you, regina - it’s a mother’s job to ensure her daughter suceeds.’) what little love regina thought she felt was always conditional. affection - physical, emotional or otherwise - was a reward for obedience, to be withheld and used as cora saw fit. and poor tiny regina only wanted to please her mother, only wanted to be good, and craved those hard-won moments of affection. (what did this teach her? that love was a reward, to be earned through obedience. that to ‘be good’ was to be worthy of love - and she was not inherently either.) 

and then we have henry sr, who i believe loved his daughter immensely and in his eyes, probably unconditionally - after all, who else stuck by her side even in the depths of her darkness - but to a young regina whose definition and understanding of love came from cora and her abuse tactics... well, daddy loved her and snuck into her locked room for comfort and cuddles when he could after cora would punish her, but he never stopped the punishment. he made her feel better afterwards, but he stood aside and let every single thing happen to her. so tiny regina once again was taught she deserved it, that it was okay, it was the consequences of her actions. that she needed to be better. if she really was inherently worthy - if she really didn’t deserve it - daddy would protect her, surely. but he never did. 

and then we have daniel - sweet, kind, honest daniel who knew nothing dark about love and loved her as freely as he could. loved her for who she was, not what she could do for him. and yes, he probably was the most unconditional love she’d ever known - but it was love between children and he was murdered before long. so then regina has to wonder, once again, if she is worthy of love at all. or if it truly is just weakness. 

(nobody protects her from king leopold. he doesn’t love her at all, barely even tolerates her at times, but he enjoys her youth and her beauty and her body and her presence at his events, even if he prefers she stay silent at them. at court, regina is a decoration. friendless, alone. 

princess snow white, yes, she loves her. she loved her from the moment she pulled her from her runaway horse, this beautiful heroic girl who taught her about love and magic and courage. but snow is so young, and knows nothing but what her parents told her, and regina is sure she would not love her if she knew everything. regina is sure snow only loves her as a replacement mother, as a living doll for her to play with whenever she wants, to distract her from harsh realities and history lessons, to teach her about horses, to do her hair. if regina were to be herself, to leave, she thinks this poor child would soon hate her.) 

rumplestiltskin, well, he has affection for her for sure after some time - and maybe before too, through his visions, through his love for her mother, his paternal instincts and his affinity for broken things - but she is only ever really a tool for him, a means to an end. she is his revenge and his redemption. his curse caster. and if she couldn’t do that, well, he would have to drop her and move on. and regina knows this. deep down, regina has always known this. 

maleficent, well - that was something like love once, maybe - lust and comfort escapism and alcohol all wrapped up in one, but they never let themselves be in love, not really, not as much as both of them perhaps could have been. external circumstances were too much. 

and then henry - another spanner in the works because of course children love their parents unconditionally - but then one day he doesn’t. one day her little prince, who showed her what pure, real love really was, comes home from school with a book and tells her she’s not his real mom, and then one day he tells her she’s evil and just like everybody else, she herself is not worthy of his love. (of course, he is just a child and doesn’t understand his big conflicting emotions but for regina, this is just another step in a long, solid pattern. and her heart is broken.) as she slowly grows and goes down the long path of redemption, she wins his love back - realises she never really lost it - but of course, that pattern of thinking in her head is confirmed even more if anything. she is good now, she is trying to be a hero, and so her son loves her. if she stops, maybe he won’t again. there are conditions, like there always has been)

even robin, her supposed soulmate, she knows would not love her if she were not the hero, and even then, he has to prioritize his first family over her. snow starts to love her again - she never really stopped, only now she loves her deeply and with understanding and complexity, loves her fully, as a friend, an equal, a human being - and so do the others, but regina deep down knows they love her because she is being ‘good’ or trying hard to be. 

because love for her is conditional, always conditional. 

and then there is emma swan. 

who throws her own soul into the darkness without a second thought, just to save regina’s life. 

who protects her, defends her, speaks out for her when nobody else does. when she’s ‘bad’. who believes in her and treats her like an equal even when regina is sure she’s not. regina does not have to earn emma’s friendship and protection - emma guards her and looks out for her beyond all reason. regina could be throwing a fireball or threatening a friend and emma will only pull her away with a whispered word or conjure her own magic to help. emma tries to send her home and protect her from the underworld, even before regina has done anything to help her. emma wakes herself up from a curse and regains all her memories in a split second just to save regina, even when she’s not herself and she thinks regina is just the evil queen.

emma swan is the first person who genuinely looks out for regina with no ulterior motive or exchange of power, the first person who regina cannot rationalise a method of keeping on her side - because emma is just on her side, regardless of what she does, how badly she messes up, how emotional and messy she feels. 

regina is shocked by it, she doesn’t understand it. nobody has treated her like emma does. nobody has ever put her first like that. nobody has ever expected nothing from her in return. 

but gradually - once they get through all the denial and questioning and yearning and get together - emma begins to show regina just how worthy of love she is, despite everything she’s ever been taught. it shakes regina’s whole view of the world and herself, and some days she finds it hard to believe, but gradually, eventually, she does. because after all, she loves emma unconditionally, too, doesn’t she? 

(she loves most people in her life unconditionally. she always has. so why shouldn’t she receive that in return?)

#long post #regina mills ramble #unedited as always we die like men #regina mills meta #regina mills analysis #swan queen #emma swan #swan mills family #regina mills relationships #cora mills #tw abuse #regal believer