#especially now that i’m 20

[madgirlmuahaha]

“Lucy, you’re gonna be a CHAMPION!!”

Oh. Oh no. Why does this hurt so much 😭

If nothing else, I think this shows just how deep Kipperlilly’s been sucked into this delusion. She’s not thinking about the consequences, she’s not thinking about how maybe the adults in her life are using her and her team as pawns, she’s excited that finally they’re SPECIAL and they’re going to reshape the whole world with a brand new god.

I wonder at what point Lucy stopped being excited and supportive of it. Kipperlilly’s best friend, the only one who liked her enough to stick up for her within their adventuring party, being excited at first but then changing her mind because maybe, just maybe, she realizes how bad things might turn out. How Kipperlilly tried to keep coaxing her down this path to becoming a Divine Champion of a fallen rage god, and how a final test of faith ended in tragedy because Lucy didn’t wake up.

And after her best friend died and didn’t wake up, life loses its value to Kipperlilly. They’ve come too far to go back to how it used to be. Lucy is gone, and she’s not coming back, because she didn’t have faith in the right god. People are only as valuable as long they are useful to you, that’s how a Mastermind Rogue sees the world, and Lucy can be replaced with someone more useful. It doesn’t matter anymore that she was Kipperlilly’s best friend, all she is now is a failed Champion.

#I’m rooting for Kipperlilly’s eventual redemption but man does she make it hard #especially now that we know they’ve been groomed into this plot by trusted adult mentors #dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #fhjy spoilers

[tariah23]

I rly don’t see how ppl be 20+ shipping kids anymore tbh… like, it’s so rampant and I don’t see the appeal to it anymore being as tho I’m in my late 20’s.

#I’m grown….. it always baffles me to see it like man I don’t care I don’t find joy in it anymore since I’m not a teenager #I just look at them and think they’re like my fake son… daughter nephew niece whatever lol #give me the struggling and mentally fucked up 20+ year old give me those middle age bitches man if I’m going to like a ship now anyway #like i don’t care about the romance between kids man it sucks that this is such a huge thing in most fandom spaces #not that I participate in said spaces since ppl are annoying and embarrassing #also very nasty #sns is diff tho like that’s a whole other thing 🪽 #sns is just a classic it’s legendary it transcends space and time it it- #I’m so glad that jjk is full of adults tho lmfaoo #one of Gege’s only W’s… especially impressive for a shounen #i like jjk outside of the goiji pairings too like I just genuinely enjoy it despite how awful it is now lol #again #I do think that ppl need to learn how to become more comfortable with enjoying media outside of shipping tho #like there’s nothing wrong with it obviously but I’m talking more like how tons of ppl only get into a new series for the sole purpose #of shipping instead of engaging with said media and the story that it’s trying to tell… #this is why fanon and wild insane hc’s usually get out of control too to the point where those who might be interested in checking out #a series might be deterred because they don’t even know what the show is about because the only stuff that ppl see about the thing is ship #stuff and like discourse #and the behavior of the fans… #these ppl be 30+ arguing with teenagers man it’s crazy to me #I just think there needs to be a balance lol #like still go crazy. Have fun and all but you get it #but anyway. with all that being said! Goiji stays winning in my heart 🚶🏾‍♀️ #rambling

[pkmn-smashorpass]

Wait another Pokemon fuckler with a Christmas birthday!? Me too!!! HAPPY TRIFECTA!!

December 23rd actually I’m just on vacation so I’ve been slow answering asks 😭

But I’ll tell you a secret. Because I was born so close to Christmas my Dad had the brilliant idea of making one of my middle names Santa. For real. On all of my legal documents.

#now that I’m an adult it’s kinda fun and cool #but it was super embarrassing as a child #especially as a girl #ask #anon #I’m cool with it now though #birthday on Christmas Day must absolutely suck I’m sorry #day before Christmas Eve was bad enough #and because of my family between dec 20-Jan 1 we had 7 family events/holidays #thanks for the well wishes though!! #I’m not trying to be ungrateful by any means! #thank you so much!! #personal life #pkmn smash or pass #pokemon smash or pass #smash or pass

[kuja-kujaku]

lmao I’m not even 32 yet and someone asked me when I’m going to start coloring my grey hair. never, actually, it’s a condition. it’s called Pretty Boy Disease and it’s terminal. it just gets worse as I get older, I just keep getting more and more grey hairs until I’m so hot people can’t stand to look at me. make sure it’s an open-casket funeral, don’t put me in the ground without getting a good eyeful bc I worked hard for these sultry little grey binches.

#god damn this society hates everything about being human at a base level #I’m not old and grey hairs are just normal #I’ve had a grey patch since I was like 14 #but like shut the fuck up also #throw the entire concept of being old out the window until you’re like fucking. 75+ and then get back to me #30 will be peak if you let it #in fact I feel better now than I ever did before #undo that conditioning that the 20s are the only fun times in your life or that you’re old past 25 #it’s insane to me to see people hating wrinkles or average facial features and calling them old #when we literally are born with wrinkles and some of us have more dramatic creases even in our teens #American media especially just fetishizes this false idea of youthfulness #but anyway fuck everything and everyone who tells you to change yourself bc of your age #aging gracefully has nothing to do with coloring your hair and everything to do with treating yourself with kindness and loving your body #aging gracefully #thirty is not old #real shitposting hours #y’all need to do some introspection #and some self acceptance while you’re at it

[random-jot]

I’ve restarted The Unsleeping City again and I forgot how many gems there are right in the first couple episodes

• “I don’t read short stories!” I-fucking-conic

• “You shot my tits off”

• Ricky Matsui - a fully grown adult man - has never once doubted that Santa Claus was real, and he’s correct

• The idea of Heaven and Hell using Santa’s naughty and nice list is so fucking funny and so cool

• The whole fever-dream drug trip with Pete right at the start of episode one

• “That sounds like something you all should check out”

#I stopped watching after ep3 for some reason last year #icr why. I think it was ‘cuz I was so used to them as the FH cast it wasn’t connecting #but def glad I rewatched these ‘cuz now I’m fully invested #especially in whatever’s going on with Pete #AND I’ve got to get to the episode where Kingston is making breakfast. I’ve just got to #dimenson 20 #the unsleeping city #TUC season 1 #ricky matsui #kingston brown #misty moore #sofia bicicleta #pete the plug #kugrash #dimension 20 the unsleeping city

[no1ryomafan]

It’s the way I’m in between of “I’m okay if getter gets zero no content this year even though it’s the 50th anniversary because dynapro bot wise it’s grendizer year which has been long overdue, plus getter could be having it worse compared to other mechas” and “please god if your gonna give us even a crumb make it a new spin off manga at least even if I’m probably not gonna read immediately or just a fucking figure that ISN’T shin getter”

#meg text #getter robo #if they make a “happy 50th” figure and it’s just a more pricier shin getter I’m going to sob #<this is likely going to happen #shin getter is a cool design but can we get figures for NEW. PLEASE #ITS TURNING 20 THIS YEAR TOO AND DOING SOMETHING ALSO IN FAVOR OF 50TH A GOOD ENOUGH EXCUSE #and I’m perfectly fine if it’s just getter one even if two and three are super neglected #new getter one is low key becoming my favorite getter one so if I could get a new-Hah-figure of it that be awesome #but also real talk the getter spin offs random but why did they suddenly die after devo?? #esp because despite mix reception in the fandom it seems Japan wise they liked it enough to get in SRW #or maybe that was only bc it shared creators with Netflix ultraman and that’s why they could get it in #and just “people are gonna be sick of arma and we can’t add arc yet so former most recent thing will do” #but I think if we can’t get another new anime or animes consistently the spin offs should stay #especially now that they touched arc maybe we can get mangas actually getting to use the boys #still probably wouldn’t follow the anime but they deserve to be in aus #speaking of which can we ever get ova mangas? Like epilogues of what happens after each ova? Please? #that’s never gonna happen but I can DREAM since it’s just such untap potential

[thirsty-4-ghouls]

“Hancock is bad with kids” “Hancock is bad with Shaun” no, well, maybe, but where I was getting at was, the objectively funniest dynamic there that I can think of is that Hancock does, indeed, not know what to do around kids BUT Shaun is super curious because of that and will not leave him alone. Hancock will be looking at sole like “I can’t handle this, i don’t know what to do, get your kid” and Shaun is just like “why do you dress like that? Do you still get sunburnt? Do you like lazer rifles? I like lazer rifles.” Like a cat that sees the person ignoring them and goes up to them for attention. And the funniest response from sole is something like “the sunburn question is rude, Shaun” and then they continue doing whatever they were before saying that.

#emma posts #fallout 4 oc #this is their dynamic. i have decided that #especially because his mom did something similar when acquiring a new dad #and also curiosity obviously runs in the family #I am building on these characters where canon left gaps #especially synth Shaun. obviously #I am not ignoring my youngest child 😤 #or my eldest but he’s dead now and it’s complicated #wait. is codsworth her kid? she made him and sees him as family #that feels different though #the mathison way is just pestering someone (especially with questions) until they at least tolerate you #well. not with EVERYONE. just people they find interesting enough #sort of. i don’t actually know how to explain who his mom decides to befriend/adopt #or reverse adopt. nick is her new dad and it’s not optional #she imprinted like a duckling. she’s in her 20s? doesn’t matter #Hancock is like ‘you’re a parent though and I’m not good with kids. should you really settle for me?’ and she’s like #Shaun will be great with you! the question is will you adapt’ #‘shouldn’t it be the other way around?’ ‘no. you’ve seen me with nick. this family adopts. even when adopted’ #he possibly feels some dread and she continues with ‘we’re family when we decide we are. But can the people we declare family handle us?’ #she is of course saying this increasingly ominously because she finds it funny. it is true though. everything she said. it’s true. #and it’s okay if he doesn’t see you as a dad. just that he accepts you as my partner. at least it’s that way to him and i. I know my kid.’ #her knowing her kid also makes her constantly concerned about him getting into something for having questions. She knows she has. #that’s how she met Hancock in the first place. Piper. I found something crazy. Piper I want answers #and piper was probably like ‘wtf is this blue?’ and sole was like ‘a story’ #so they got in over their heads trying to solve a mystery… sort of? #those two get into all sorts of shit that way #her imprinting was probably part (mostly) trauma. but it happened regardless #I’m making this reblog able now because people find it funny apparently and if that’s all i don’t mind

[starrcrossrose]

Someday I want to write an actual LeoIchi centric fic. Somedayyyy somedayyyyyy

#like I have several ideas #so many #but the one sitting at the top of my list rn? #some kind of underground fighter Yuichi (he’s doing it for fun) #((and maybe for cash idk but nothing like oh I’m dark and angsty just him doing this cause he can and to get stronger)) #and Leo is the medic/doctor that patches up the fighters #I’ll say now they’d be like early 20’s here probably #21-23 or somethin #anyway #Leo confused why Usagi is there bc he’s nice and funny (and cute) #and Usagi like ‘no one can keep up with me except my friend Chizu but she’s not always home and I like having money to go on trips etc’ #and Leo like ‘okay bet fight me then’ #idk it’s a whole thing where the fighting starts to get worse #dicey #and Leo is worried especially about Usagi #but he can’t leave for reasons idk #he just has to get stronger instead #there’d be some kind of corruption and Leo has to shed the doctor coat to be a hero again #but only bc he wants to help this dude he’s falling for #so many words from me #someday I’ll do it #leoichi

[moonjade]

Getting older is such a blessing

#text #personal #I always feel like I’m the same person I was when I was 16. or even 19/20. but I’m really not #I’ve grown so much and I’ll only continue to grow #like I fucking love being 25. I’m sure I’ll love being 26. and 30. and 40. because I’m learning so much more abt myself #like when I was a teenager/early 20s I was SO concerned with how other people perceived me 😵‍💫 #I’d hide my interests bc I thought they were cringey or unpopular. but now? idgaf #because now I know better and if someone makes fun of me for my interests they won’t be in my life for very long lol #it’s embarrassing to make fun of someone for their interests at any age but especially once you’re in your mid 20s #and I have boundaries now! I’ll stick up for myself now! I’ll say no! #this is all over the place lmao but I’m just so grateful to be alive… and growing older and learning more things abt myself and the world #tldr: getting older is amazing and you should fully embrace it

[yoohyeontual]

Idk if I’m going crazy, but I feel like I hear music above, but I can’t be sure cause my dad is snoring and my aquarium is making sounds 😭

#like maybe I am crazy like I’m so use to them being loud and listening to music loud that I’m imagining thing #Idk how to explain myself in English #but like I hear some mmmmmh that’s similar to music but is it ? or is it tv ? or just the ambiant sounds around me that give the illusion #but if it’s music they really are crazy like if I say something they are force to move #not I’m not sure but they were told next time they are loud especially after 11pm it’s 12:20 now they would be kicked out #like I don’t want them kicked out I’m not mean I want peace but they really don’t care at this point #but anyway like I said I can’t be sure so I won’t say anything but 😐 #édit : Idk if it’s tv or music + them talking but we hear it pretty well in the hallways 😐 #but also we hear it everywhere so I feel like it really is music #i should call myself Karen at this point #alex.txt

[scoutpologist]

i am so fucking tired

#op #went to the doctor’s today and im still processing what they told me #but in short my health has been shattered by the stress of the past week #wish i could go back in time and stop myself from being a blind idiot but well. hindsight is 20/20 and all #im going to be dealing with the physical ramifications of this for a long long time #not saying this for pity or anything. i just. want anyone who reads this to know to take care of yourself and others #and for gods sake don’t fucking lie to people okay? just don’t #especially if it’s over months and months and months. like maybe reconsider #i know a lot of this is my fault but goddamn if i’m not mad at the originator of it all #i want to fully explain what went on at some point but for now i just need to stay afloat #anyways it’s 5 am i’m going to fucking Sleep

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Uh-oh. This is bad

#For some reason I always end up predicting my life events through the fiction I write or read with scary accuracy #especially if everything I’m writing/consuming “feels right” and like I’m being pulled into it #I was just pulled into The Metamorphosis and woke up in the middle of the night to finish reading it #I think I know who that book applies to #And now this book… hm #Don’t like that #unreality #magical thinking #tagging as that just in case but it’s happened before multiple times #They’re not necessarily actual premonitions; they’re me subconsciously piecing together a puzzle of clues #that all lead to me figuring out the most likely series of events to follow #Maybe I’ve heard in-depth information about these books before; but only remember it in the back of my mind #so that the front of my mind cannot recall; and have only been guided by what I’ve heard whispered back there #a subconscious switch gets thrown at the critical point and I’m drawn to it #I knew what happened and what was going to happen in 2018 back in 2017 from my sketchbooks and story outlines #I read Crime and Punishment and like clockwork events very similar to what had happened in the book started happening to me #It worked backwards for awhile from 2019–2021 after I got caught #Every time I happened to glance at a clock; there was either a 4 or a 20 or a 24 on the display. Always. No exceptions. #This went on for months. Those numbers were part of a spell I wrote and recited over and over again; I won’t say the words #because I’m not sure if it’s so much a spell as it is a curse — it is a self-deprecating spell #I only started seeing this number pattern AFTER I had been caught as an apostate; not before #before I’d look at the clock and it would say 5:33 or 9:15 or 12:45; after it was 4:04 or 2:24 or 12:20 ON THE DOT #Call me crazy but if every time you looked at a clock for MONTHS it always read a specific set of numbers you’d go a little nutty too #THEN in 2021 I read 1984 and it described my life up until that point PERFECTLY (WITH the number 4 plastered all over it) #Something happened back then and it’s still fucking happening because I was caught at the end of 2019 #Just a little over four years away from the year 2024 and I was driven to set my exit date at 4/24/2024 before reading 1984 #1984 is set in April 4 1984; April 4 is 20 days away from 4/24… SEE WHAT I MEAN?! I’m a raving lunatic but I’m right

[rosesradio]

so i guess i wanted to say a small thing & i dunno if i’ll regret it or not but fuck it we ball

as the day winds down to a close i was thinking about two years ago. two years ago today i had my first kiss. i’d prefer not to talk about it because it lead to one of the worst most toxic relationships i’ve ever experienced, and many people i’m close to still don’t know about it.

i didn’t want to talk about the relationship, but instead with some of the things i used to cope afterwards. one of those things was dark fiction, especially the kind that portrayed the kind of relationship i was in.

this, i believe, was a perfectly healthy coping mechanism for my state of mind at the time. it helped me feel less alone as well as explore my feelings in writing, maybe even working my way through getting out of that darkness.

(not to say i’m “cured” now or that dark fic should be temporary, ofc)

dark fic may not be something I would want to explore now, but I’m grateful it was there and continues to be there. I’m grateful for my mutuals, some of the best dark fic writers and the sweetest most accepting people I’ve ever had the pleasure of interacting with.

i’ve heard mixed arguments about dark fic, from people saying ‘x ship is toxic, just like my past relationship, and as a victim it’s wrong to make content for it’ to ‘x ship is toxic, and as a victim I understand why people would like to explore this topic’. I never want to tell people how to feel, and I don’t believe people should try to restrict others’ art—

(though if you’re attacking small fandom creators versus the big movie companies that make movies portraying those same dark themes…you just want an easy target, not to mention it’s no good for anyone, sorry :/)

at the end of the day, i just wanted to thank all the dark fic writers and other creators. no matter why you make dark content, whether it’s coping or exploring character dynamics and emotions or just for your enjoyment, thank you for doing what you do. thanks for helping me feel like i’m not alone in the world 🖤

#should i not tag this so people don’t find it & don’t go all dogshit about. whatever it’s fine #proship #also speaking of my super sexy dark mysterious past. it’s wild how much my looks have changed in two years #i’m always trying to make myself look different but now i found a look I really like & it’s cheap to maintain especially if I cut my hair— #at home. my family’s horrified at the idea but I’m horrified at paying 50$ every 6 weeks for a ‘girl’s haircut’ when it’s clearly a— #mushroom cut #am i getting off topic? should i mark this ns/fw? no it’s probably fine #anyways i feel a lot closer to 20 than i ever feel to 17. & part of that makes me sad but hopeful too yk? #anyways. #rose.txt

[arthur-r]

hopefully i finally have fixed the past several weeks of getting 6 hours (as a person who needs 9-10 hours to function) but this is wild

#sleeping in a college dorm with a roommate somehow enhancing my sleep instead of making it worse #actually the tangible reasoning for this is that i’m walking six miles every day and i can’t do that so i’m sleeping as compensation #so the bus pass that i got yesterday (which was a 20 minute walk from my dorm) should get my sleep patterns back to normal #but very very strange in the meantime. especially since it was all nightmares the whole time #nightmares where i could hardly see. also um. heart area is twitching. i’m looking forward to receiving personalized medical care #also i’m FAMOUS i got interviewed by some guy about being a student and now my name is gonna be next to the most generic quote imaginable #like ‘‘i’m looking forward to getting involved in communities so i can meet people who are similar and different to myself. #i want to better understand myself and other groups of people’’ #most generic thing you could quote from our conversation but still pretty cool #anyway i’m gonna go get dressed and have a life and stuff but feeling vaguely well rested for the first time in weeks. good times #me. my post. mine. #delete later

[euelios]

there are very specific people in my irl life who can say the most innocuous things on earth and still make me steaming mad

#ooough we love venting #especially tag venting #auden.txt #it’s my blog and i’ll cry if i want to #these tags are not a place of honour— #i got told off for making tea too late at night #and it turned into a spiral about how much worse i’ve been doing since i started my job #and like. man. i. i resolve not to trust what i think about my life past 9pm bc it is not good up here rn #a toddler’s Big Feelings in a 20 something body. i never outgrew the me who thought i could compel ppl into liking me by dint of being #so good and perfect that they had no choice #but now the more i do. work and study and hobbies and and and #the more is expected? and i’m just not learning to keep up #i miss my fucking mom i wish we got along like we used to when i was little but i’m just an asshole now and i hate being told what to do #i wish i didn’t need so much fixing. #there’s not even anything wrong just a creeping sense of dread. like heading jaws music in a sunny meadow #i wish people wouldn’t bring up my mental health to imply i’m crazy #i wish it didn’t scare me to seriously consider it #although i did once tell a friend that i felt like. there would be nothing to write in my obituary? bc i had lived such a disconnected life #like some fuck who died far away from home #jesus. i’m going insane. it’s fucking bedtime it’s been bedtime for ages. #things will be better when it’s light out

[paranetics]

Have sympathy for the guy all you want but don't call thus 19 year old man a child. Yeah it's a pity he was forced into it but he wasn't a kid. Don't add to the issue of adult men being infanfilised whenever something bad happens.

Especially when there were ACTUAL children on that refugee boat.

hey come off anon and be fucking stupid with your face attached to it. you deserve to be shamed all the way to hell you disgusting little reprobate. if you think 19 years was long enough on this planet that’s the dumbest thing i’ve ever heard in my whole life. you think adulthood is measured by the legal statute of years lived instead of experience in life, you are completely mistaken. a majority of 19 year olds aren’t in college. they can’t drink. they can’t rent a car. they still haven’t decided on personalities.

the double standard in the media coverages is a valid talking point NOT somehow choosing to make this about “infantilizing men” you moron. the greecian disaster was a horrible fucking tragedy, unfortunately i am one human person and not a news outlet or a conglomeration of people blasting out posts at the speed of light. i am one dude who was sad about a 19yo who died cus he loved his dad, while people were trivializing his death because it was funny the CEO of dumbshit corporation decided to ignore basic safety to attempt a 12500 ft dive.

you’re a mean spirited ugly person who can’t think their way out of a cardboard box and you’re even worse for doing it on anon, because you know i’d block you sight unseen.

#unfortunately this is the first i’ve heard about the greecian refugee boat 🤷🏻‍♀️ #which broke my fucking heart into a million pieces #and it would’ve been fair to have approached me as ‘can you also talk about this?’ which i’ve done for people who’ve asked in the past #but this person approached me with such bad-faith off the bat instead of idk. talking to me like a person #furthermore the fact that i had to look up the greek refugee boat but i’ve been seeing coverage of the Titan since it went dark #is proof that there was biased coverage in the media. which isn’t my fault at all. #i’ve talked about this before that i spent a majority of my teen years obsessed with tragedy and i got tired of it so i have unplugged #myself from hearing about tragedies all the time #and i am a happier person now #but i still feel guilty when i don’t talk about things like this. but i don’t want to talk about sad stuff all the time anymore #i’m sorry but this blog is like my home and i have to limit the amount of sadness i talk about. #also. not to further rain on your parade but i just turned 20 and i feel very comfortable calling Suleman a child. because i’m still a #fumbling child. especially in all the ways that matter.