#even tho I am aware.

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[honeypleasejustkillme]

i’m so jealous. people who don’t have bpd won’t ever understand how it feels to have your emotions take over, to feel your entire world end, to want to physically crawl out of your own skin bc you’re so angry, or ashamed, or done with being alive. it’s like a hurricane of emotion hitting you & you gotta sit there & act like you’re fine

#i’m about ready to lose my fucking shit and kms #all because of something so small #but even tho i’m aware the problem is small it doesn’t matter #i am not coping well rn #i just want him to hold me #i’m tired of being like this #fuck i wanna kms

[sailorsally]

i'm sorry but that's. that's dean after getting loaded by every cartwright twins' player

#filth on main #i am aware it's a hockey jersey and not baseball one but still #spn gag reel #tho dean didn't gag not even once #;)

[zeb-z]

Cellbit trying so hard to stay level headed and rational and keep shit together, but when Hombre Misterioso comes in with some fuck shit, and he’s not sure if he’s only hearing him inside his head, his response is basically ‘I can and I will out crazy you without hesitation’. He’s like I have done fucked up shit before and I will do it again if you give me an excuse I swear to god. He’s like I’m level headed and reasonable right now with rigid self control, but if you give me a single reason I will kill us both

#Cellbit on his last thread like I can and I will snap and make this your biggest mistake yet jfjskfkd #he’s like lol if you’re really in my head you picked the wrong guy. good luck have fun #Cellbit who is so aware he is capable of just going fucking off the walls like haha! one more thing and I will go off willingly and it will #have repercussions you wouldn’t have even dreamed of :) #pac walking on eggshells but also needing to rely on Cellbit while helping forever like ‘man isn’t it fucked up were the most stable rn’ #he’s very like ‘I’ll light myself on fire to burn you’ kinda energy yknow what I mean #Cellbit a reformed cannibalistic murderer like I have had a fresh start I am a changed man. be careful tho #idk it’s all. his character sure is something lmao #mcyt #qsmp #Cellbit #z speaks

[niinnyu]

Gege's payoff followed by setup problem, and why Shibuya Arc is still their finest writing.

Gege's writing structure has become so reliant on catching the readers by surprise that they just won't tell anything to the reader. Going into Gojo vs sukuna and the fight fest it's been since, readers have no clue of if there was any strategic/tactical planning happening (outside of Yuuji training with Kusakabe which is sloowwly coming back to the limelight).

The current buildup by adding emphasis to Sukuna and Yuuji and their dynamic, Yuuji's rage and loneliness and loss, only to bring in a Gojo-Yuuta vs Sukuna part 2 electric boogaloo. Which imo is another fight that has no interesting overarching commentary/themes outside of being the promised shounen strong vs strong fight, in a power system already criticised by both sides for being flawed.

It feels like Gege uses shock value and people eating absolutely anything up if it's about their fav, to bypass any meaningful setup.

The reason why Shibuya had the effect of absolute gutwrenching loss and defeat, is because it was setup so deliciously done. We'd seen the villains literally experiment their ideas with the veils on our heroes with the sister-school event, we've seen them talk about their plan with a lot of details, and how eventually they tweaked it to work better with their new knowledge.

We've seen that the mastermind might be someone from Gojo's past since they talk about how they cant be seen by Gojo, then you have jjk0 which shows the rift and the death of that someone (intrugue! Theyre still alive?? They're still on the bad side with that ending??) , following which you have Hidden Inventory where you see the bond and what caused the rift.

And ONLY THEN do you have everything fall into place when Kenjaku appears and Gojo is tricked because you were tricked alongside Gojo even tho as the reader almost everything was right in plain sight with just the lack of some context. Even the inconsistencies between Suguru's and now revealed Kenjaku's behaviour makes sense.

Althought the setup happened rather non-linearly, all of it was still always before the payoff. And boy, does it pay off.

And when things didn't go according to the villains' well thought out plans, it was still just such a seen yet unforeseen turn of events. We didn't know Yuuji would be fed so many of Sukuna's fingers that Sukuna would take over, but Sukuna taking over was an underlying threat that has been constant throughout the story and it just so happened to take place then).

Everything since the culling games has felt like things just happening one after the other. Short term goals that our protagonists had to complete since no one knew what was even happening. An entire year's worth of chapters of not seeing our protagonists and following new people who didn't/haven't yet done anything to truly warrant that much undivided paneltime. Anyone remember the US gov subplot? Did i dream that?

The last genuinely set up but still pretty shocking event was Sukuna using their binding vow and taking over Yuuji's body only to then take over Megumi's. We knew he wanted Megumi's power and the binding vow was another underlying threat since Yuuji's first death that was waiting to happen. Abrupt? Yes. But it was something hinted happening.

By no means am I saying that the reader should be told everything, that's not how writing works, but have enough at least fall into place when things are revealed instead of showing the puzzle completed then picking out puzzle pieces to show it individually and putting them back. A couple of panels where a character says something vague where you as the reader don't even know if it's something to take into account is NOT good set up.

#this isn't very coherently written im aware but I HAVE THOUGHT AND AM BAD WITH EXPRESSING THEM WELL #saw someone say that when ch 261 is animated its gonna be so much worse and i laughed out louds #huhhh!!??? #character specific fans of media are so funny gosh #but good for you #clearly im the one at loss since i don't get to enjoy things anymore #but oh well #its just sad seeing jjk become just another fighting shounen #it always was but it was so much more #anyway im sad #still sticking around too see Yuuji's arc to comepletion and if that at least is satisfying enough #but i try not to have hopes anymore #i still love these characters tho man cant even hate it so mhch that i compeletky dete #*detatch from it like i did with **** #oof #anyway #jjk meta #Akutami Gege #jjk #jjk spoilers #jjk manga spoilers #shibuya arc #itadori yuuji #sukuna #gojo satoru #kenjaku #satosugu #no nickel for niinnyu's thoughts

[hopelesslyromanticshark]

there is nothing i just totally love more than getting a request from someone who actively liked my rules…where it VERY CLEARLY STATES my requests are closed 🤪🤪🤪 like, yes thank you for completely disrespecting me as a creator (who doesn’t HAVE to create btw i do this bc i like it…but when you pull shit like this…i don’t like it anymore😐) but also like just as a person too. that’s super awesome, thank you, truly from the bottom of my heart 😀😀😀 also ps your request was in fact deleted immediately 😘😘😘 don’t even know what it was about and kinda, tbh, don’t care 😌😌😌

xoxo

a petty bitch 😍

#don’t even feel bad about how passive aggressive this #never wanted to deactivate my account more than in that moment 🤩🤩🤩 #i hope the person knows who they are #we don’t need to have a convo or anything i just want you to be aware of stuff like #shit like this sucks i don’t want to make angry ragey posts but holy shit i am NOT the bad guy here #i’m literally here to serve yall free of will and this is how you repay me??? cool awesome that’s great #i love all of you guys tho the large majority of you are super super respectful and WANT me to take breaks bc i work so hard for you guys #anyways rant over and i’m just going to be brewing with anger for the next few hours cool 🤩🤩🤩 #𐙚๋࣭ ⭑ how covey got her phd in yapping

[lilowoof]

LOL I normally just keep this on twitter but man, this past big big run was so damn fun! I got to play with a handful of pals (causal and casually serious), did some king throwing at the end, got a nice score, and most importantly: I did not get sick with a migraine!!

And I was still my silly, airhead self lmao. Half the time I had no idea what wave it was or what my special is. Us dumb bitches stay winning tho 💪

#splatoon #splatoon 3 #salmon run #big run #big big run #god I love fish so much #and I am very thankful to be able to play with so many great ppl #even if I may end up diverging to some other game in the near future.... I will always remember the good times from this #seriously tho the no migraine thing was so good cause I legit got very sick during each event. trying to be more aware!

[soccerpunching]

The only endou and fudou hc interaction i have is fudou sending endou different kinds of "yall had your own room growing up and it shows" tweet screenshots and endou laugh reacting on every single one and endou just sometimes text him "hey look at this! you like this, dont you?! You can buy some at ___" abt an object that fudou took very light interest in while in liocott (he prob didnt even remember he likes the thing but he will realize at some point that he appreciated endou remembering)

fudou enjoys having harmless fun with endou. endou is too friend-shaped

#“where did this come from. lore?” as you can see at their last practice near the end of s1. fudou obv appreciates endou-- #--even tho they have no long canon interaction u can tell that fudou's fond of him against his will #and if you looo into how comfortable fudou is in inago around endou also... #i am aware i may be delusional also so dont take my word for it #i'll reply soon. sorry!!!!! #inazuma eleven #ie imagined by lore #fudou akio #endou mamoru #caleb stonewall #mark evans

[localguy2]

Suddenly got the craziest fucking idea I've thought of yet:

Zane was originally going to be made to help the elemental alliance in the serpentine wars, per the alliance requesting Julien for something so technologically advanced it'll end the war.

and so Julien started working on Zane during the conflict, and with the elemental alliance providing him with the necessary recourses to create Zane. (metal, wires, screws, schematics and blueprints and other small supplies, a suspiciously powerful and most definitely magical power source, etc).

But the war ends, and the serpentine are sealed away.

So now Julien is left with a half finished robot that wouldn't even have a purpose if it were to be alive, but Julien decides he's going to give it a new purpose.

"If it's not going to be a weapon of war, than it's going to be a weapon of peace."

So he stars reprogramming Zane, from "Mostly human machine designed to fight." to "Almost human machine made to protect those who cannot protect themselves".

He starts adding in extra features for Zane, stuff like breathing, blinking, eating, so he comes off as more human.

he codes in what would be the nindroid equivalent of someone developing a new hobby and getting good at it.

Such as cooking, or perhaps making ice sculptures or even learning how to ride a snowboard considering how he lives in a frozen forest (last one was from Quest For the Lost Powers book).

But he also adds in other stuff to help Zane out in his purpose of protecting, such as a battle ram mode to bust down doors, a lamp head mode to help light out dark areas, being able to shoot out cold air from his hands to cool stuff down without the usage of ice powers (last one was from the start of season 3).

And eventually, he gets so attached to this project of his, that he starts viewing it as more than a machine made to prolong the peace, and by the time he actives Zane for the first time ever, he can't feel but view Zane as a son.

Zane was Julien's life work, "Machine" doesn't do the nindroid enough justice, it doesn't feel right, and it isn't right.

So, even his plans of making Zane a weapon of peace change, and now he views Zane as a son, and as his own person.

Look, I don't care if this headcanon/idea breaks Canon, fuck if I care, but the opportunity is too great, it would would give us an answer to a good number of questions.

one of them being: What was Zane's old power source?

#ninjago #zane julien #dr julien #Currently losing my mind over this idea #And I hope you are to #I'd be a really good to characterise Julien #A natural human way #The bond between a creator and creation is strong #And it couldn't have been better with Zane and Julien #Yes I am aware of the memory switch thing #And Echo as well #And yeah I'm willing to admit that those are pretty bad things #The first one is definitely a balme on Julien #But the second? I'm not even sure because it sorta goes against everything we knew Julien for #Like *why* would he leave Echo all alone? #It doesn't make a lot of sense when considering his character #That's just my opinion tho #Dunno about yall #Anyone gonna go back to brain rotting in the corner #Edit: also thought of something else #This hc answers how Julien got the materials for Zane in the first place #It makes total sense how he creates Zane with all these features if he had almost an endless supply of material

[shoezuki]

I should probably read the prequel webcomic to the ember knight. The gilgamesh one or whatever. Because I Crave more ember knight so badly

#nagyuun wonr be there tho... i love nagyuun #oh but waron is in it i think #the ember knight #i dont even know what the epic of gilgamesh is about i am jus Aware of it

[atopvisenyashill]

annoying to already see people discoursing about this “meleys the traitor” scene.

greens will say, pretending to care about the smallfolk, that they have a right to be mad about the attack on Aegon’s coronation because of the collateral damage to the smallfolk, which, fair enough, however stupid I may feel that scene was, it did do some unnecessary damage to the smallfolk of king’s landing.

HOWEVER.

if the scene is uncritically people buying into otto’s propoganda, it’s not only stupid it’s also an annoying departure from the books and a continuation of got writers (first d&d now condal and hess) treating the smallfolk as if they’re stupid which they are not. Look at the actual text of F&B:

Eight hundred knights and squires and common men lost their lives that day as well. Another hundred perished not long after, when Prince Aemond and Ser Criston Cole took Rook’s Rest and put its garrison to death. Lord Staunton’s head was carried back to King’s Landing and mounted above the Old Gate…but it was the head of the dragon Meleys, drawn through the city on a cart, that awed the crowds of smallfolk into silence. Septon Eustace tells us that thousands left King’s Landing afterward, until the Dowager Queen Alicent ordered the city gates closed and barred.

Yes, in both the books and the show, the Greens managing to kill Meleys the Red Queen and Rhaenys the Queen That Never Was is a big victory for them and of course Otto is going to turn it into a propaganda moment. It's even understandable that some of the smallfolk would turn on Rhaenys (in the show only) after her (stupidly written) stunt at the coronation. But those last two lines are crucial because it shows us what the smallfolk are really thinking as the Dance kicks off - "If the Greens are willing to disrespect even the nobility after their death, if they are willing to parade around the head of one of their great, terrifying, beloved, and respected dragons, treat Meleys the Red Queen like she's nothing but game hunted for sport...seven hells what are these people going to do to the rest of us nobodies?"

And that is why, if the show takes the route of erasing how terrified the smallfolk are after the Battle of the Rook's Rest, it's a complete disservice to the smallfolk just to have them buy Otto's propaganda hook line and sinker. They are not stupid, and when they realize very early on in the Dance just how awful and violet this conflict is going to get, they attempt to leave for safety and it's only Alicent locking them into King's Landing like lambs to the slaughter that stops the exodus from King's Landing.

Cutting that scene takes away not just the perceptiveness of the smallfolk of King's Landing to make the Greens look better, it also takes away one of the crucial moments that leads to the Storming of the Dragon Pit; after realizing that dragons can be killed by regular humans and not just dragonriders because they are forced to look at Meleys' severed head, then locked into a city that gets progressively more dangerous, with dragons that are getting increasingly more aggravated because of the continued violence of the Dance, the smallfolk take the only course of action they feel they have left to them and that's to rise up and massacre the dragons in the pit in a vain and violent attempt to protect themselves from the endless slaughter that the Greens forced them to live through.

#anti greens #rhaenys velaryon #meleys the red queen #getting on my soap box #pro team black #anti team green #smallfolk rise up #is gonna be a tag bc the nobles in this series are always acting up and so many pretend they care but they Do Not. its cool tho bc germ wil #and before anyone comes at me yes i am aware rhaenyra's tax policies suck and also lead to problems. she unknowingly adds more kindling to #an already raging fire and it explodes in her face. but CRUCIALLY that fire is not started nor even exacerbated by her. she merely inherits #an already out of control kl while stuck in the middle of a war with the northern army still months away from backing her up. #hotd spoilers

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Hello

You spark joy

That is all

Good day

Marie Kondo can’t get rid of me now

#ask #non mdzs #Everyone who reblogs/likes this post is *also* a sparker of joy (to me) #thank you for this #it was a rough week (health bad) and I wasnt able to do much #(That's why I've been focused more on answering asks than continuing the comic) #((Comic resumes tomorrow tho dw dw)) #I'm glad someone thinks I spark joy B*) even when I'm not at my best #no take-backsies <3 If this ask gets to live rent free in my head then this blog gets to live in yours rent free #we get the change the mental real estate market around here #PS: thanks to pio’s fanart The Boots Stay On #obsessed by the little cowboy boots…..they’re everything to me #PPS: before anyone misconstrues my marie kondo comment: I am fully aware that she's not a minimalist #Rather her philosophy is about not holding on to things that don't bring you joy! And to surround yourself with things that do! #PSPSPSPSPS: This is how you can call me if you need me

[orowyrm]

i feel bad about something -> i pick at my skin to relieve stress -> i get upset about the damage i just did to myself -> i keep picking because i don’t know how else to ‘fix’ the problem i just made -> i realize how much time ive wasted doing all of this -> i continue picking even after it becomes actually painful as ‘punishment’ -> i finally get tired and/or something else calls my attention and i stop, clean up, and attempt to move on with my day -> i feel bad about everything that just happened -> i continue to feel bad about this and everything that happens afterwards until i can’t take it anymore and need a release so i don’t implode -> rinse and repeat

#i feel like this most likely qualifies as #self harm #even though it’s generally not in the traditional sense. whatever. #i’ve reached a point where most of the time it doesn’t even hurt anymore like there’s sensation but it’s not pain per se. usually when i #start to feel actual pain i stop because i don’t want to do any actual lasting damage #sometimes tho i feel like i just fall into a frenzy. theres something bad and evil underneath my skin #and while i don’t know what it is i’ve been aware of it all my life and am constantly striving to excise it #because it is the source of all my flaws and faults and the cause of everything bad that’s ever happened to me #someday i’ll get rid of it entirely but no matter how close i get it eludes me #<- damn okay we get it you have compulsions … relax dude

[lupucs]

Gosh I love your art!

But uh whats your favorite deltarune ships?

Thank you so much!! Oh gosh, you really caught me off guard with this one hah!

Well, uh I think it should be pretty obvious which ships I like by now...

It's clearly-

It-

It's obviously...

THOSE GUYS!

#i mean look at them #theyre so adorable together #i mean geez cmon theyre h*lding h*nds what isnt there to love #literally relationship goals fr #ok in all seriousness though there are a couple other dynamics i enjoy besides the royal guards #im just gonna go ramble in the tags hoping i wont get crucified for my takes heh #i think it should come as no surprise that i enjoy the dynamic of a certain reindeer and a certain purple dino-like monster #i am really excited to see where this will go in the next couple of chapters #im pretty laid back as far as other ship dynamics go; i enjoy seeing em even when my brain doesnt immediately go “i ship it” right away #theyre still cute and i am very easily swayed into shipping things so who knows how well this post will age #ok nvm actually i also lowkey ship asgore and rudy ngl i reread the undertale alarm clock dialogue and it was just a little cute ok?? #there are a ton of dynamics i enjoy as friendships tho; such as susie/kris; berdly/noelle; susie/lancer; catti/jockington and ralsei/kris #i am aware ralsei and kris had the boat ride thingy together but i am still waiting to see what happens next #since the game isnt finished yet some things i mentioned here might change after i get the whole picture #i mean there are like 5 more chapters to go so a lot of stuff might happen and grow into something else who knows lol #lupucs spam over #ask #anon #lupucs chats

[tenrose]

I hate living in this world.

#misc #negativity tw #first off i had an argument with a colleague at work #we had to move places for the millionth time in this stupid open space #which already annoyed me #but this guy came at bargained like he always do while i said nothing because it's not like we chooae #and he always does that for actual work because and idk at first i made a snarky comment about now that he got what he wanted he better be #ready to work instead of hiding when somebody ask him to do his job #and he told me he didn't understand the remark #and my hot temper that makes me snap every five years took over #i bet he has by now complaining aboutme like he does about everything #anyway i take hours to calm down (not calm after 4 hours) #I'm also pissed at me cause i can't get emotional without shaking stupidly which makes me look like an hysterical person (i mean sadly i am) #also if there has to have an explanation once my anger is gone tomorrow i will be back on social anxiety mode which is gonna make it worse #all of this reminded me that i need to find a new job for ten thousand reasons #but unfortunately all employers are shit and actually i don't even know what i want to do #and as usual i have no energy for anything because i am still a major piece of shit #then i wanted to relax #made the mistake to open Instagram because I'm also stupid #and i know i don't often talk about politics and stuff #but it's really draining me #i barely or read news just enough to be aware #and honestly its exhausting but I dont want to complain cause Im in a privileged position where i have the chance to be able to 'shut off' #and yes my country and especially this government is sickening me #and like its people too #and also insta is full of pride posts #and i am stupid to read the homophobic and transphobic comments #and genuinely these people alongside racist and islamophobic people really scare the hell out of me #hopefully i don't engage but i shouldn't read anything at all tbh #speaking of pride im spiralling because even tho i kinda identify as aro i feel like a freak and i have nobody to tell me im not

[scribefindegil]

I didn’t watch Mob Psycho at first because I saw promo art with Dimple and thought he would be an awful, annoying sidekick. Now he’s my favorite character. (Paul Rudd “look at us” meme plays)

Anon I am shaking your hand.

I was talking with a friend the other day about how when characters that you really don't expect to like become your favorites it can hit even harder, and I think a lot of Dimple Enjoyers have that experience.

Because yeah, he looks like he's gonna be an awful annoying sidekick! He looks like he's going to fall into the 'non-human companion' archetype that exists to provide uncomfortable comic relief and get treated more like a pet than a character and never really change.

And then you realize oh. No. The narrative *is* going to take him seriously as a character. And then you get to the broccoli arc and realize oh no! The narrative is going to take him SO seriously as a character and you are never going to be normal again!

#mp100 #my Personal Dimple Feelings Progression was like #pre-show: I am vaguely aware that there is a blob #pre-Black Vinegar: god why is he here :( what a creep #Big Cleanup: okay he's fine as a manipulative little bastard as long as they don't expect me to like him #7th Division: okay he is kind of funny #i guess he can stay #early S2: i accept him as part of the cast but i have no strong feelings #Mogami: OH. OKAY. i. may be experiencing some emotions. this is fine tho. i am normal about them. #he has convinced me that he cares about Mob and thus I care about him via the transitive property #this is a fine and manageable state of affairs! #Broccoli: I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I'M NOT NORMAL I WILL NEVER BE NORMAL I WILL BE CRYING ABOUT THIS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!! #Confession: wow i am even less normal somehow! #(with bonus ekurei 'huh. this better not awaken anything in me.')