#every time i remember that this is canon. that eddie said this. in public! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

convexicalcrow · 1 year

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All The Fkn Lore Drops From Mythical J. Sausage's Empires Stream on Feb 4, 2023

And I mean, ALL OF THEM.

(source: Sausage's Empires livestream 4/2/23)

(commentary is in parentheses)

No time stamps bc this took long enough as it is and my hands would not forgive me if I did anything more. There are some approximate time markers I chucked in as I went but nothing specific.

Also this is Very Long, there are like 3.5k words of notes I took while watching this. I mostly focused on the lore stuff, but there's also a bit of extraneous commentary as well and some suggestive quotes I had to include. But yeah. Mostly it is lore, which says a lot lol.

we (the audience) are the watchers (from Evo lore) watching Sausage

he can see us, bc he can see everything (like Dr Strange apparently idk shit about Marvel stuff tho frfr) and he can communicate with us

he's had these powers for millenia but he's now unlocked them bc he's woken from his watcher slumber. bc the rift gave him his memories back from every life he's ever lived.

he literally said Sir Carlos is dead, everyone's dead, but he's not going over old/dead lore.

(please remember him saying Sir Carlos is dead, bc he gives us some Sir Carlos lore later on that contradicts this)

promises to put signs up for everyone who becomes a member (he will live to regret this at the end of the stream lol)

(sausage after dark needs to happen plz sausage i need the fwimmy fanfics bc ofc he ships fwhimmy lmao)

lore trees! done with magic. based on the Tree of Whimsy. Mini Trees of Whimsy.

suggests stealing the Tree of Whimsy from Bdubs like a normal person lol

he will worship Sun God Bdubs and communicate with him one day

there's Something in the Cathedral that's lore-related that he can't show us (may be in the ep that's coming out today?)

if he goes back in time, he can see The General

gotta shake Sunny's hand when you greet him

Bubbles and Athena have been fighting for two days; she stole Bubble's food lol. Athena guards Sunny.

Eddie always wants to go visit Oli, but Oli's never around, and it's dangerous in the Olipelago.

Eddie's getting Thicccc, been working out a lot lately.

Eddie's going to the Olipelago for two weeks for a holiday. That's Canon lol.

rip Diedre the Dodo ;_; (literally NO ONE spelt her name properly bc Ren's accent is a hot mess. XD)

makes a point of telling Sgorby that he's gonna start making out with everyone on the hardcore server now

he technically knows about the Wither Rose Alliance now. But he's not supposed to tell ppl that he knows, bc it might fuck with things. Black Collar Bubbles told him not to tell ppl. Could rip spacetime.

normal things he does in Sanctuary: he's just walking around, doing some farming, checking the visitor centre, that kind of thing.

leatherworker shop for Maria??

Maria's single and looking for love in all the wrong places.

Just looking for a good time, not to get locked down with anyone. Bunnies are party people.

Carlos has been living in the tavern, hasn't had his trades locked in.

Came in on a boat a while back and been living in the tavern ever since.

Could it be Sir Carlos? Maybe, maybe not.

OG Sir Carlos is long gone in this world.

Hermes is home-schooled, so they don't really need a public school system.

Hermes is the only child in Sanctuary. All the other children are in other realms/elsewhere/not in Sanctuary.

Technically Sunny is a child, 2 wks old, but they're an AI system so. Smarter than everyone in this world.

Technically did you see Sir Carlos die? In lore and in canon? Did you ever see him die at the end of the season? The last thing we saw of him was that he had to leave suddenly. We didn't see him go. He had to leave, go off on an adventure, he couldn't say, had to go somewhere specific. Sir Carlos is cursed, turned into a chicken by some other being. Legendary knight who's been around for a very long time. Is he immortal? Not immortal, but very powerful. Has been known to shapeshift. Technically he could be somewhere in the background. Maybe he came from an adventure somewhere, just showed up. Not as a knight anymore. But maybe, just maybe, be might have found us again, he says, looking at Carlos the villager. Came on boats, both time. Funny that. Sir Carlos of Mythland usually comes on a boat at a dock. From time to time. Whenever he's needed. So yeah. Strange.

(3 hours isn't a long stream, Sausage, not when you watch Cub's speedrunning vods lmao)

Can Sir Carlos dimension jump? He's a special being- er, person. Gods love your boy, and superpowered beings too. They gravitate to him. It's nbd.

We will see more of Sir Carlos later. Sausage has Plans.

Keralis and Bdubs were the first tutorial/series he watched, and he got to kiss them both in lore and in canon

jimmy villain arc fanfic tiem!

jimmy is a toy backstory, then the villain arc.

(i'm only 43 mins in btw lolololol)

jimmy's villain arc, chapter one, by mythical j. sausage:

jimmy's a toy and everyone knows it except jimmy. then he has a realisation. why is my skin so hard? oh, i'm made of wood! D: looks back as a shot fires, and out comes a demon, was it xornoth? No! a western demon, dressed all in black. I cursed you boy, and now you can see. Everyone sees it, open your eyes, boy. I did it, you're gonna do nothing about it. You're right! I was blinded this whole time! Demon disappeared, laughing his whole time. Hit by lightning, the wood starts burning! He starts melting and turns into a pile of ash! The demon comes back. He waves his hands in the air and the ash spews up into the air, all jimmy ashes, and it creates Jimmy from the ground up, but now he's made of ash. Eyes are dead. Yeeehaaaa motherfucker! Cursing up a storm now, and goes around killing everyone. Can fly into the sky like an ash tornado. Demon tells him to murder all the empires. So he goes, and the tornado goes out the door of the saloon. Shoots a gun, has two six shooters now. Goes all the way to Stratos, to kill Joel. His first victim. Jimmy goes to Stratos, straight into the heart of the god's realm, to take out Joel, for all the time he called him a toy, even though he was right. Passes the statue of Saint Peril and donkey Jeremy. Jimmy's cussing all over the place, no longer PG. More lighting! Joel's clapping his cheeks! Just practicing lol. Sausage wasn't around, he was resting under a tree in Sanctuary. Look, it's the stupid little toy! Jimmy's cursing and shooting Joel in the face several times. Empties his guns. Joel's dead. Has just killed a god. Jimmy laughs. Bullets were made with some kind of evil juice that enabled him to kill a god. Then Hermes shoots into the sky! Looks down at evil Jimmy! He's mad! You killed my father! D: You're gonna die now, little man! Jimmy looks up at Hermes flapping his little wings on his feet. Always wanted to kill you! But Hermes doesn't let him finish and shoots him in the eye with lightning and Jimmy explodes into ash. The demon appears and is like, you can't do that! but Hermes kills him too. He's crying now, going down to daddy Joel. Not today, Daddy, and kissed him on the forehead, and Joel came back to life. What happened? The toy's dead, no need to worry about him anymore. Oh, cool! Starts clapping his cheeks again lol. The End. (this is paraphrased in places but that's the gist of it)

it's fanfic not canon, jimmy's a good man.

Empires!Sausage would write his own fanfiction about his friends. It's Canon.

yassify that demon! he says about the western demon he created lol.

(i will Not document the slander happening rn frfr)

(ya boi is procrastinating real hard on the tree clearing ngl)

next fanfic is what evil sausage was doing while he was away

is it gonna be headcanon or lore? who knows?

(one hour in and we have started cutting trees)

(we're tree-clearing for a Lore Build)

("the bush is more important than the sapling")

(he loves False's lore as well <3)

evil sausage can't be the good twin.

s2 Sausage is Extra Good now. s1 Sausage had Issues, did some bad stuff. Mix of good and bad. But this version of him has zero evilness. Nothing bad now. Goodest of the good boys. It's bc Gem in s1 took every bit of corruption and badness in him. There's nothing left. He jokes around, but there's no evil intent. The Other Sausage has all of Sausage's evilness.

you do need a little bit of both though. Being completely good can mess things up in the future. Too much of a good thing can be bad, he says, so keep that in mind. (<_<)

there's no canon on the hardcore server, just killing everyone at the end lol.

"Oh no my chests are gone!" he says as he enters his storage room, before they appear a moment later. "That's lore!" (right, ofc it is)

("This is my one and only junk drawer, don't tell Pearlescent Moon")

Blood sheep are long since gone, and can't come back. They're gone. Been thousands of years since they were last seen. Might be elsewhere but he won't be investigating.

are blood sheep extinct? technically he hasn't seen them in a very long time, but he's also very far away from where mythland would have been so maybe they're around there? but no one's seen them for generations. they're not around here.

all blood sheep are red sheep but not all red sheep are blood sheep - he's talked with all the red sheep he's found around Sanctuary and they're just regular sheep.

The Mythland Song! D: It's apparently now the dimension warping song. He has to warp dimensions every time it comes up now. >_>

(he has sound effects and everything >_>)

(I SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING SAUSAGE)

(1h 20min in for those keeping check of the time)

Bubbles told him not to do this, but he's here now so.

"I got warped back, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine…"

We're just in another realm.

Can't get into the summoning circle tho. >_>

There are blood sheep around.

About an hour before the End Times.

Xornoth could be around, bc he was around at this time, but doesn't know where he is.

Going to look for Bubbles now.

Just minding his own business when he met Xornoth for the first time.

Thinking of warping the blacksmith into Sanctuary bc he needs an autosmelter. It's where he first met Xornoth as well. >_>

Going to see The General. :D

(Bubbles is the ultimate being but forget he said that >_>)

Blood Sheep Lore! After they rained down on Mythland! What caused them to rain down? 1) he sent Evil Sausage into that pocket dimension, an exact copy of this world. It was other blood sheep from that world too, and Evil Sausage destroyed Mythland in that world, including the blood sheep, for absolutely no purpose. They're happy to be sacrificed for a greater purpose. But if there's no greater purpose to their sacrifice, they get angry. That's why they got upset with Sausage. 2) the salmon/cod explosion ALSO caused it, and that triggered the big explosion of blood sheep to rain down on them. They became cannibalistic. Ate everything and everyone out in these realms. General was eaten alive. Villagers dead. Every animal, person, being got eaten by blood sheep as revenge for what Sausage did. Went on for many, many years. He can never save the people in Mythland. He couldn't change it. Ate everything in sight until the only thing left was blood sheep.

He's gone downstairs after seeing House Horse. There are blood sheep down here too. and he looks at the cells and he's like, …wait. am I in the wrong… Mythland? D: is this where-…? wait. no is this where evil me… did he rebuild-? D: i have to leave now. leaves immediately bc that [the bars of the left hand cell I am assuming] were open last time.

we're fine, we're back.

In denial about it being That Mythland. It was probably regular Mythland right? And he wasn't there that long. It's fine. He's fine. It wasn't where Evil Me was. Just coincidence that thing was sealed up.

evil sausage def isn't hanging around looking for a way to get back, trying to cling onto me and find his way back here (or words to that effect, ya boi mumbled that a bit ngl)

(tangent about the mcytblr sexyman polls bc ofc)

(scar is a very sexy man, and sausage is 100% right and he should say it)

(ftr i still kinda don't really get the tumblr sexyman concept even though i have tried to understand it but you do you tumblr <3 i am just enjoying the chaos and the fun and the polls lol)

someone tells sausage that shelby's got a lil skulk thing going on and he's rightfully a lil concerned about that

promising something special with lore in the next ep, very good lore.

is the story over now the crossover's done? well, that was like the mid-season finale for that ep with the crossovers, bringing that arc to a close. Still a lot of stories left to tell. A lot of things and unanswered questions from lore which will be coming back before the end. Pages and pages of written stuff that he's been planning, and we're not even close to getting to that spot. Don't worry, there's a lot to come. Wanted the Pearl thing to feel very special. All the unanswered stuff will be answered before the end. No end date yet. There's story things to get to, and things that are gonna build on that, so there's no end date yet. Things gonna ramp up very soon and a lot of crazy things are gonna happen.

Sausage the matchmaker, pretty much everyone he matches up works out

before all things said and done, The Chart is gonna be a billboard. Gonna get with every new person lol, add all kinds of weird things to the chart. Out of spite, but also out of fun. (i think it was out of fun, it was hard to catch that word)

("wood daddy chopping wood and slandering people in the chat room")

("at least you put it in the back and not in the front")

evil sausage: what is he doing now? is the title of the next fanfic lol

(lowkey appreciating the lack of lore in this part of the stream bc my hands needed a break lol)

invisible axolotls? D: D: D:

the song playing rn is the one where he met Pearl from the crossover and it wasn't Santa Perla and he needed consoling. But he remembers her now.

Pearl's holding her godly powers back so she can be a normal person for once.

if e2!Sausage was an animal, he'd be a lion. like mufasa. he likes tragic characters (yeah I had noticed Sausage lol) big giant mane, furry chest, etc.

wood-chopping sausage with a lil fur on his chest.

(irl sausage would pick a lion as well.)

"look, that's magic! there's a lore with that" - sausage about a floating vine

there's a cat that's been hanging around ever since he settled in Sanctuary and that cat may be important to the story. (it's an ocelot)

ppl are reporting on jimmy stealing the dragon egg on the hardcore server, and he's like, i'm on Empires I can't go over there and kill him now!

("oh my mouth hole got moistened")

(I am not writing out your fanfics Sausage. Except for summarising them for this post)

the song from Afterlife where Vampire Scott killed Angel Sausage. He came back as the evil wither man. But in order to do that, he had to have the blood sucked from him.

who buried Angel Sausage? Was it Scott? bc he felt bad for killing him? Maybe Oli. Probably Oli. Or Scott. Let's say it was Oli bc it makes sense in lore. After he killed him, he came back to finish the job and suck him dry, and then Oli buried him in the grave. Then he came back as an evil wither man.

then Oli came back and sang him a song while Sausage shot himself into the sun

will it be real lore or fanfiction for evil sausage? we'll have to find out

technically, you know how this area [Sanctuary] is Latin-inspired? For all the ppl who watched Afterlife, what was the first angel Sausage build style? It was Spanish-inspired. A Spanish hacienda. How odd that he would have picked that build style to start out his life as angel Sausage. Hinting that that is the style he wanted to do after coming back from the Afterlife and Pearl sent him down. And what is the first style he did after coming back from the Afterlife? Spanish. Latin. Columbian. Lorelorelorelorelore.

from the beginning he wanted Afterlife to be connected to Empires s2 and his afterlife after s1.

"we've had a lot of lore drops today" looks at my 2.8k words of lore notes that isn't even finished yet yeah just a lil bit o.o

(and now Sausage's new ep has gone up, and I will Not watch it until I'm done with this stream)

(~30 mins to go)

("Oh it's 5am for you? I'm sorry. Have you tried not living in the weirdest time zone?" cries in GMT+8, the Worst time zone ;_; this was not about my time zone I don't think bc I don't have chat on when watching yt streams/vods bc it moves too fast but I felt that so hard)

evil sausage lore/fanfic tiem!

is this actual lore or am i telling you now a fanfiction about evil sausage in another realm? will i say if it's real or not? we'll see what happens.

this is called 'the story of evil sausage a.k.a sausage supreme a.k.a the bratwurst man a.ka. that boi thicc but he evil a.k.a who hurt you?'

back when he was sent back to another realm. he's pure evil. upset. angry over time. after swallowing xornoth and getting all the power that he possessed, he became stronger. still trapped in a pocket dimension. he went to every empire in search of clues to find a way out. days passed, months passed, years passed. his powers only grew as he found many old tomes in old libraries. he needed an outlet to use those powers. blood sheep were still around. but blood sheep weren't the only night creatures out at that time. other creatures too from other realms. every one he found he devoured to get stronger. back then, every single life was sucked away, never to be seen again.

(cue Oli gatecrashing)

the evil bratwurst man couldn't hold it in any longer.

(oli has muted a tab with the stream open and doesn't realise it for a hot minute)

"I'm doing fanfiction lore of my evil self!"

the evil version of me actually did escape one time. how did he do it? he did it by accident. he decided to sacrifice himself like sausage did through the summoning circle. why? bc he couldn't take it anymore. he was done being all alone in a pocket universe and wanted to end his life. so he did it in the summoning circle. where did he end up? in the council with the other bubbles. they didn't know what was happening, freaked out, what's he doing here in the spirit realm? every other bubbles wanted to banish him. but one wanted to give him another chance. so she sent him somewhere else. he left that pocket universe. was it the grey collared bubbles? maybe it was. well, if you're going to let him loose, you have to watch him. so that's why whenever you see him, you also see her. could this be lore? could this be real? or could this be fanfiction? whenever we travelled to see him, all of mythland wasn't destroyed. why would that specific mythland we saw in perfect condition? also wonders what's stopping him from sacrificing himself again and travelling here? idk what is stopping him. is it the bubbles? is he only trapped in that dimension? he's no longer in the pocket universe. the man is on his own. only that bubbles is there to stop him. if anything were to happen to that bubbles, who knows where he could go? she's the meanest bubbles. she's the bubbles that likes to hurt ppl. if something ever happened to that bubbles, or if sausage went there and they joined together, there's many ways he could escape, but he's in his own timeline in mythland. apparently one that there's no one there to stop him. probably why we saw Wither Rose Alliance heads in the dark tower bc maybe he murdered everyone. Is this real lore and canon? Or is this fanfiction? who knows? could be either one! :D

how could be still be alive after 1000 years?

what if he's not in the future, but it's still just the past for him?

never said his timeline matches his own.

can only travel to dimensions he knows.

time has passed but not that long.

if evil sausage joined with sausage would he become his ultimate self? who knows?

some nice juicy lore, or was it fanfiction? :D?

sausage refusing to clarify whether this is lore or not, which makes me feel like It's Definitely Lore bc he was Very Clear about clarifying the fanfic earlier.

(well done, 3.5k words of lore notes, ty sausage DX)

(sausage just wants to eat his bagel and ppl keep becoming members lmao)

And we're done.

collapses

goes to watch Sausage's new ep and then go to bed

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diedbrave · 4 months

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Things that have been on my mind the past two weeks, but I've been too busy to type them out. Based more on some book stuff, a rewatch of the movie, and Eddie just being a little wh*re in my head.

Eddie Kaspbrak basically gaslit himself into being 'allergic' to seafood. I don't remember if it's one of the things he said at Jade of the Orient (if he did that solidifies this hc even more), but I got this from the book. When the train guy throws him a box of live lobster, Eddie is absolutely disgusted. He refuses to eat it, to the point his mom gets mad at him for not eating such a delicacy, but he doesn't like the way the lobster moves and slithers. So I feel like (as with much of his illness), he convinced himself it was so grotesque that it became a genuine aversion/allergy.

Somewhat TMI I suppose, but Eddie Kaspbrak has masturbated. Literal canon. I know I play my Eddie as a virgin (thank you miniseries), but he still experimented a few times growing up. Not often. Because every time, just like in the book, it was just a 'this feels uncomfortable' thing. I definitely hc and believe that this was because he was gay and didn't know it. Him being told by Booger that he needs to rub it and think of women. Even the whole act of sex sounded unappealing to Eddie and turned him off in the book. And I fully believe that it's because it was incredibly heteronormative.

Eddie really struggles with louder tones of voices, especially when it comes from someone he trusts and loves like Bill Denbrough. The entire scene in Chapter 2 where Bill is yelling at him and he's just crying in the corner saying "I was just scared, Bill" really gets to me. So he immediately panics and shuts down when someone has a raised voice and thinks someone is mad at him or that he's disappointing someone.

NSFW Headcanon under the cut.

For shits and giggles, Eddie likes collars and leashes. Definitely in a very private setting. Eddie is very private sexually, and won't even hold hands with his partner in public for fear of being targeted for being gay. But one day I was in the shower and Eddie was like, "Don't forget I really like collars and the idea of being absolutely owned by my partner" and I was like....okay sir. It only ever came up in one thread with our Bill but. It's one of his big (very secret and reserved) kinks.

#{what i've got full stock of thoughts and dreams that scatter headcanons}

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lex-munro · 2 years

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[Glitter on the Wet Streets: Part 11] Take the Past

Now there’s a Third Rule, and Venom gets the Christmas present Eddie forgot about.

Chapter 11 of 12.

BTW it’s actually not 100% healthy to let someone else set your trauma-based boundaries. But when you shut down or are unable to set boundaries for your protection, it’s nice for someone who cares to look at the situation and say, “Okay, that was too much/too far. Let’s not get to that point again.” (In that sense, Matt and Eddie have stumbled into something of a light Dom/sub relationship.)

Warnings: Canon divergent based on the MCU (Secondary Branch BTV613). Oblique spoilers for Black Widow, Wandavision, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Hawkeye, Daredevil, Iron Fist, The Defenders, and Luke Cage. Talking things through like well-adjusted humans. Brief discussion of past child abuse. Devious reporters are devious. Jess isn’t fooling anyone. Language: PG-13 (primetime TV plus s*** and f***).

Pairing: Matt/Eddie, past Eddie/Venom (plus background Luke/Claire and Danny/Colleen).

Timeline: A year after the events of No Way Home, but (kind of) concurrent with the events of Hawkeye (told you it was canon divergent). Christmas Day.

Disclaimer: I doesn’t owns the movies or the characters. Or the assorted objects of pop culture reference.

Take the Past

“New rule,” Matt says as he pushes Eddie onto the couch and kneels to take his shoes off for him.

“Mm?” Eddie asks, not quite up to conversation.

Matt rubs his calves in steady, soothing motions. “Rule three: if you’re having a panic attack and I can separate you from the trigger, I will. No hoping for the best, no putting on a brave face. I felt the need to check in with you—that should’ve been my cue to get you out of there.”

Eddie feels small, and ashamed, and he suddenly understands what set him off. “It was like watching my old man out in public. All smiles and stories and laughter. Man’s man macho bullshit. Everyone loved that old bastard…‘s how I knew they’d never believe he beat the shit outta me on the regular. And even if they did, they’d agree with him—that it was my fault, for fucking something up or being too namby-pamby or killing my mom when I was born. That I deserved it.”

“No, Eddie,” Matt says firmly. “He was your father—you deserved to feel safe and loved by him. What he did was evil. No matter what outside observers might think, that is the immutable truth. I don’t want you to ever feel unsafe, okay? Especially when I’m right there. Otherwise, what good am I?”

Eddie leans down and presses their foreheads together, memorizing every speckle of brown or gold hiding in the olive green of Matt’s eyes. “The best,” he says. “Absolute best thing in my whole life.”

Venom pokes around on Eddie’s phone until they find a decent livestream of the parade, then props it up while Matt fetches Snowflake from a nearby sunbeam.

Time loses meaning with his boyfriend nestled close and his cat lazily purring over the sound of vapid commentators and various marching bands. Matt smells faintly of Wolfthorn, and Eddie would tease him, except that it reminds him pleasantly of gummy worms. It’s relaxing—to have no tasks, no expectations, nothing more pressing for the moment than basking in the unequaled pleasures of a soft cat and a good cuddle.

Soon enough, Rafael will figure out what happened to the Christmas edition of the paper. MJ will have to put together more articles. Matt and Foggy will have to present a fresh case against Fisk, who may or may not cop a plea like a good boy. Maya Lopez is still out there, along with Yelena the cat-loving Black Widow assassin.

But right now, it’s just them on their couch, in their apartment with a terrible view (which suits Eddie, since he’d rather look at Matt).

An ad comes on for Stouffer’s stuffing, and Eddie remembers the bags in the front hall. “Mm. Sorry, V, I forgot all about the present I got you.”

“You said you didn’t get me anything!”

“And I just said I forgot about it, asshole. Bag by the front door—there’s the French press and the electric kettle for Matt, but then there’s a box for you.”

There’s a loud rustling of plastic near the door, then a flurry of torn wrapping paper raining down around them.

The ensuing pleased screech sets Eddie’s teeth on edge, but he doesn’t mention it.

“I am going to my bowl to learn about coffee!” the alien announces, and he rips free with the usual chilly shock (like being thrown into a swimming pool, come to think of it).

“He’s trying,” Matt says.

“I know he is; why ya think I got him the damn thing?”

Matt just hums and squeezes his knee.

~*~*~

Eddie stares at his phone.

Incoming call from Latin Asshole

Time to show off his acting chops.

“Hey, man, Merry Christmas!” Eddie says brightly. “How’s page three look? Pretty good for a fluff piece, huh? I had to pry that arepa recipe away from—”

~“Cut the shit. I know it was you.”~

“Rafa, my name’s on the article. I spent a week eating stuff I couldn’t pronounce. Of course it was me.”

~“You’re really gonna sit there and pretend you don’t know your article got swapped out.”~

“It what?!” Eddie yelps. “No, no, no, I did not eat some weird unidentifiable Hainanese thing just to have my piece pulled! Who okayed that? Kramer was the one who gave me the damn assignment, so I’m pretty fucking sure it wasn’t an order from the top!”

~“Nope. Somebody changed the layout from my computer at quarter to nine.”~

“So they snuck into the building and up to the office after hours, unlocked the office door, and logged into your computer? They knew your password? You leave that thing lying around on a Post-It or something?”

~“They changed my password.”~

“What? How? Did they hack your email?”

~“When I find out how you did it, I will end you.”~

“That kinda sounds like a threat. Might wanna keep an eye on your car. Meanwhile, Kramer’s gonna hear how you pulled my piece just because of a bad date and then tried to spin some wild story of me breaking into your work computer after hours to sabotage my own career.”

He hangs up on whatever arrogant insults are sure to follow.

“I’m supposed to be the smug one in this relationship,” Matt points out.

“Can we get an esperesso machine?” Venom calls from the kitchen.

“No,” Eddie vetoes immediately. “Master the French press first, buddy.”

So he texts Jones about Rafa and leaves a voicemail for the Street’s Editor-In-Chief. He refers to the call with Rafael as ‘an unhinged rant’ and says he has witnesses to Rafa getting creepy over a bad date.

~*~*~

Something buzzes.

“Phone,” Matt says, muffled slightly by the shoulder of Eddie’s sweater.

“Phone, shit, yes,” Eddie manages, snapping out of a doze and fumbling for his phone.

Incoming call from Queen MJ

“Fuck.”

“Mm-mm, no panicking,” says Matt. “Give it to me.”

He gives in, partly because he knows Matt will literally fight him on this (and he strongly suspects Matt would hand him his own ass on a platter, even with Venom’s help).

“Eddie’s phone, Eddie’s overprotective boyfriend speaking,” Matt says.

MJ sounds upset when she replies, and Eddie winces.

“It’s nothing you did, I promise,” Matt tells her. “You told me Happy and your father would be there; it was thoughtless of me to put Eddie and Venom in that situation.”

She says something else, volume starting to rise.

“In the situation of having to hide who they were on a day for family and love and acceptance. But yes, I think it would be best to limit Eddie’s exposure to your father, and I think you know why. But we really were happy to be invited, and it really was good to see May and Pepper and Morgan. How’s your follow-up article coming along?”

This time, her voice is calm again.

“That’s good. I’ll give you what information I can, but keep in touch with Jess—she’s got more legal wiggle-room. Talk to you tomorrow, Merry Christmas from all of us.”

The phone is warm when Matt hands it back.

“I’m reasonably sure you didn’t get to actually taste any of the wonderful food May made; let’s go get something sugary, like cupcakes.”

“Hey, V—coming with or staying here?”

“I have found the YouTube coffee bean rabbithole. I must learn more of this…kona plant.”

“We’ll bring a cupcake back for you,” Matt says, hoisting Eddie to his feet.

They’re locking up when Matt’s phone calls out, ~“Claire. Claire. Claire.”~

“Get us a cab, honey?”

Eddie pauses.

The last person to call Eddie ‘honey’ was Anne; Matt has only ever called him by name.

“Sure, baby,” he replies with a big dumb grin.

(“Hey, Claire, Merry Christmas! Oh, wow, you’ve got everybody—hi, Luke; hi, Danny; hi, Colleen. Great. Really good. No, uh…heh, I’m actually not at Foggy’s this year. My boyfriend and I—oh my God, you’re all the worst—we had a rough morning, so we’re treating ourselves to cupcakes.”)

Eddie flags down a cab and pretends to help Matt into the back before getting in on the other side. “Magnolia Bakery, please,” Eddie tells the driver.

(“Don’t give me a hard time—give Danny a hard time. He helped us move a gigantic cat across Manhattan, so he absolutely knew I’ve been living in sin with an anxious writer and his enormous pet feline. No, thank you—I’ve made him put up with too many strangers today already. Maybe New Year’s? We could talk Jess into it, make it a whole thing.”)

Detective Booze-hag so about that money you said i’d get up front but haven’t seen

Eddie smirks.

Hey, you were there when everything started to fly off the rails. Anyhow, lemme cash out the fundraiser, and I’ll Venmo you or whatever.

Detective Booze-hag fundraiser what are you, bruce fucken wayne

I mean, if you don’t want the money…

Detective Booze-hag fuck you, brock. your creepy editor’s shiny acura is now modern art, yw

You’re my second-favorite woman on the planet.❤

Detective Booze-hag who’s first

Her Royal Majesty, Queen MJ, the greatest evil mastermind in the tri-state area.

Detective Booze-hag an illustrious title for a 12yo

I hope she hasn’t hacked our phones and can see that. You’d have to flee the country.

Detective Booze-hag hey so tell murdock i said Merry Christmas or whatever

“Jess says ‘Merry Christmas or whatever.’”

Matt smiles. “She’s not fooling anyone. She loves us.”

.End.

#fanfic #CANON DIVERGENCE #Venom liked the MCU so I let him stay as a treat #Matt/Eddie #rarepair #fic series: glitter (venom mcu)

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bleep-bleep-richie · 3 years

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i know myra is canonically unattractive and that this fact is intentional to show that the *only* reason eddie married her was because her idea of loving him was an exact replica of how his mother treated him

but

ive considered the idea of conventionally attractive myra, like five foot eight bombshell myra, beating men off with a stick myra. a version of myra that's cold, calculating and smart. who is introduced through mutual friends to the well-off limo service CEO and uses every weapon in her arsenal to intrigue him so she can get his money. a myra who pursues eddie intentionally, using her attractiveness to lure him in without either of them realizing- at first- the actual reason why he allows himself to be lured. myra who mocks him when he can't perform in the bedroom on occasion. myra who zeroes in on every one of eddie's insecurities and plays on them like a fucking fiddle. eddie who for reasons he can't identify is absolutely desperate for her to stay and does anything he can to keep her. an eddie who thinks it's because he loves her, because love with a woman to eddie is always tinged with a little bit of fear, always feels a little bit like walking on eggshells. love that feels like a sacrifice of self, and not in a heroic way.

so when eddie lives (!!!!) but doesn't get divorced and the losers meet his hot wife, she sees the way the comedian eyeballs her with contempt and rage he doesn't even try to hide, sees eddie's eyes light up when richie tells a joke in a way they never do with her, and it all clicks.

those times he'd stopped her when she reached for him. how she always had to coax him into touching her, how all the physical contact that should be normal for a husband and wife was always forced and awkward on his end. she watches him laugh with this bug-eyed mess in a tacky orange polo with the collar turned up on one side, watches her husband reach over and adjust that collar, sees how neither of them even notice that he's done it. and, suddenly, she knows.

her husband, the queer.

she announces she's ready to leave, suddenly, the first thing she's said since they all sat down. raises an eyebrow at the way richie bristles and wraps a protective arm loosely around the back of eddie's chair. "eddie, darling," she purrs, "you can get the car."

eddie's already scrambling to obey. "yes, dear, of course."

she corners richie when he excuses himself because she just knows, somehow, that he's going to try to talk to eddie without her there.

he says, "im not going to say it was nice to meet you," before she even opens her mouth, and she's glad they can skip the niceties and get straight the point.

she hooks a hand on her hip, "so you have a crush on my husband." he towers over her even in her heels, but he feels, suddenly, like he's two feet tall.

"im in love with him, actually," richie admits, not at all surprised at how easy it is to do so.

her lips curl wickedly and richie wants to empty the contents of his stomach onto her shoes. "good." richie arches an eyebrow. "he'll need someone when i bleed him dry and take every. last. penny."

richie thinks about decking her, remembers they're in public, wonders if that's going to be enough to stop him. "you don't love him."

she snorts a laugh, quirks her head. "you don't miss a thing," she says, mocking. "i don't, i never have. but you know what i have done?" she leans closer, conspiringly, whispering next to his ear. "i fucked the queer right out of him." she knows, minutely, that it isn't true, but judging by the look on richie's face, he's not so sure.

eddie appears then, slips his suit jacket off and onto myra's shoulders. she throws another smile richie's direction, knows she's trained eddie well. loves how crestfallen richie looks, how hard it is for him to hide it.

eddie looks between them, "everyone getting along?"

"swimmingly," myra answers, daring richie with a bat of her eyelashes to contradict her.

"call me later," richie says belatedly, warily. he looks away from myra slowly, almost like he wants to keep an eye on her, the same way he never takes his eyes off a spider while he's getting a shoe to wack it with. eddie's blinking up at him and richie, for about the millionth time in his life, wonders what he's thinking.

"sure, rich," eddie agrees, voice soft, like it's a private thing.

"well," myra says after a charged moment, too loud in the small space, "i am ready to go, aren't you, eddie, dear?"

"yeah," eddie offers, peeling his eyes off richie and giving his wife a small smile, "i'm tired."

she says, "hopefully not too tired," and the blush that rises on eddie's cheeks makes richie's entire world tilt on its axis. she pecks a kiss right on top of that pinkness, and the red from her lipstick leaves a mark. "oops," she giggles but doesn't make a move to wipe it off. she shifts her gaze back to richie, grin wolfish.

he wishes her lipstick had smudged so he could tell himself she isn't beautiful. but it didn't and she is, and she knows it.

"don't forget to call," richie says, wanting eddie's eyes on his again.

"first thing tomorrow," myra says, tugging eddie out of the restaurant by the hand.

"bye, rich," eddie says.

"nice meeting you," myra calls over her shoulder. she loops her fingers with eddie's and waves to richie with her preoccupied hand, on purpose. something flashes through richie's eyes at the sight of it. anger definitely but something else too- determination, she thinks.

she knows he'll probably tell eddie exactly what she said, can sense that he's that type of friend. she also knows she can make certain eddie doesn't believe a word he says. a couple tears, a well placed declaration of love and loyalty- she's well aware of how to work him.

she wonders if richie will cause such a stir that she can, eventually, give eddie an ultimatum: her or his childhood pack of misfits. from the ease at which they fold into one another, she already knows it won't be easy to convince him.

but she's okay with that. she welcomes it, even. she always did love a challenge.

#it 2019 #we are anti myra in all forms in this house #reddie #the losers club #eddie lives!#myra kaspbrak #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #tw abuse #tw emotional manipulation #tw queerphobia #tw homophobia #i need to write this #excerpt from a story i will write

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alwaysahiccupandastrid · 4 years

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The Odds are Never in Your Favor - Information and Characters

From the Treaty of Treason:

In penance for their uprising, each district shall offer up a male and female between the ages of 12 and 18 at a public “Reaping”. These tributes shall be delivered to the custody of The Capitol, and then transferred to a public arena where they will Fight to the Death, until a lone victor remains. Henceforth and forevermore this pageant shall be known as The Hunger Games.

Some things to know about the AU:

This is a Reddie Social Media AU; the story is told via text messages, twitter, etc. As aforementioned, the main pairing is Richie/Eddie, though there are other side pairings, and all of the Losers are featured prominently.

This AU is NOT canon with Suzanne Collins’ series, but rather in a universe of its own. As such, the rules/history are slightly different.

Side characters from Collins’ work either make appearances or are mentioned, such as Finnick Odair, Haymitch Abernathy and Mags Flanagan. There’s no exact number Hunger Games given, because I couldn’t be bothered working out much beyond the Losers winning back to back, and because this isn’t canon to Collins’ work anyway beyond using a few characters.

Coriolanus Snow is still President of Panem; there’s rumors of potential uprising/rebellion, which makes him uneasy and as such he is going to be taking certain steps in order to reassert his control of Panem.

For the purpose of this AU, the Losers aren’t the same ages, though they’re still friends and within the same age range: all of them are 17-19. It was impossible to make them any younger because otherwise there was no way all of them had won even back to back games. The only other way would have been to have Bill/Stan/Bev all win their games at like age 12, which wouldn’t be realistic - possible but not likely.

Similarly, the Losers are not all from the same district (I’ll go into their districts in a minute) - again, it would have seemed unlikely that the same district would win five or six years in a row, especially if the district wasn’t a Career District. In Collins’ series, the Districts don’t really interact with one another, except for those who are part of the games obviously - in this AU, the rules are more lax regarding this, and it’s possible for people to visit other Districts, especially those within close range of each other.

In this AU, the Losers all knew each other previously and met via one another; as I said, for this AU, inter-District friendships/relationships are more lax and travelling is allowed. Fill in the gaps however you want.

Because the characters are age 16-19, there will NOT be any sexual content. Some of the characters are 18/19 or even older, but because I’m using the younger Losers, it’s strictly PG-13. There may be jokes or references, but nothing anymore explicit than what typical teenagers may say from time to time (and we’ve got to remember that Richie has a Trashmouth, so there’s that too)

Side Note: The reason I have decided to use the child!Losers and not the adult ones is because a) THG is 12-18 year olds, and b) the whole idea of the horror of THG is the fact that literal children are being forced to fight to the death. Using the teenage cast is therefore the obvious choice in order to convey the brutality of it.

This goes without saying really, but this AU will contain violence and child death - the Hunger Games is a competition where children aged 12-18 compete and kill one another. As such, there’ll be mostly descriptions of violence/gore, and on the rare occasion a possible photo of a horror encountered in the games. Basically, anything that’s typical in THG series, it’s happening here.

What are “The Hunger Games”?

Every year, one male and one female from the twelve districts, all between the ages of twelve and eighteen, are selected via a “Reaping” to participate in a compulsory televised battle royale death match called The Hunger Games.

A Reaping takes place in every district before each Hunger Games, where the tributes of the upcoming Games are chosen. Each district's escort randomly chooses the name of one male and one female tribute from two separate glass balls. Those picked are then the official tributes for the upcoming Games.

To be qualified for a reaping, one must be at least 12 years old. Once of age, a potential-tribute's name is entered into the reaping one time. The entries are cumulative, so when a possible tribute is thirteen, their name is added one more time. This continues until age 18, when a potential-tribute's name is entered 7 times, or more if they apply for tesserae.

Tessera (plural: tesserae) is a form of voluntary food rationing, offered by the government of Panem to people in the districts. If a family is struggling for food, children between the ages of 12 and 18 - those eligible to participate in the Hunger Games - can sign up for tesserae. A single tessera is worth one year's supply of grain and oil for a single person, collected on a monthly basis. The child may also claim further tesserae for as many members of their family as needed.

While tesserae is vital to many families in the districts, it comes at a heavy price: In exchange for this extra food, the child's name will be added to the reaping balls an additional time for every tessera claimed that year. These entries are also cumulative, so if tesserae must be claimed year after year, the chances of being reaped can increase dramatically, depending on the number of people that must be fed.

The Characters

Richie Tozier (District 3)

17 years old

Best friends with Stanley Uris, who won the Games four years ago

His parents, while not incredibly wealthy, have enough that it means he doesn’t have to sign up for tesserae every year. As such, his name is only in the bowl a total of six times.

He deals with discomfort and fear by making inappropriate jokes/comments, which people either find charming or irritating (depending on who you ask)

Hopes that someday he can maybe be an entertainer like Caesar Flickerman - Flickerman’s interviews are the only bright spot of being forced to watch the Games each year

Has a crush on Eddie but won’t admit it

Eddie Kaspbrak (District 4)

17 years old

Lives with his mother, Sonia, and he doesn’t know that she’s been putting him in for even more tesserae than he thought

He can’t wait to leave District 4; it’s a Career District, and he doesn’t fit in - he hopes that he can move one day, preferably to District 3 where Richie is

His mom wouldn’t let him train - any training or skills he has have been developed behind her back and away from her, in secret.

Because he’s from District 4, he’s an extremely good swimmer, like the rest of his District - and he actually enjoys it

He hates watching the Games every year, even before he was eligible to be reaped - it’s his worst nightmare to be picked

Has a crush on Richie but won’t admit it

Bill Denbrough (District 6)

19 years old

Was the first of the Losers to win the Games; was reaped when he was only 13, and during training he acted inconspicuous/weak so as to not attract attention, then hid for the majority of his Games. He won by escaping up a tree from a Mutt attack.

Has a younger brother, Georgie, who is now 9 - his biggest fear is that Georgie will be reaped when he’s 12-18.

Because he was the first of the group to win, he’s unofficially the leader and helps the others with mentoring duties since he has the most experience

Is dating Audra Phillips, who he mentored during her Games. He still wonders if she faked her crush on him during her Games in order to get Capitol sympathy.

Stanley “Stan” Uris (District 3)

19 years old

Is best friends with Richie Tozier, though he pretends to find him annoying - that’s just their dynamic

He won his games aged 14; his arena had electrical currents/circuit traps scattered, and he was able to avoid them due to his knowledge of technology from growing up in District 3. In the last days of his Games, he used his knowledge to bait the remaining few tributes into the traps so they’d be electrocuted

Is dating Patricia “Patty” Blum, and fears that she’ll be reaped (and that he’ll have to mentor her). He’s hoping that once she’s no longer eligible to be reaped for the Games, he can ask her to marry him someday.

Beverly Marsh (District 8)

18 years old

Survived her Games aged 14 in a winter wasteland arena by grabbing a bag with a thermal sleeping bag and coat during the Bloodbath, then used her knowledge of textiles to scavenge and create shelter/line her clothes to keep warm. Killed one tribute right at the end when she was attacked, but for the most part survived just by outlasting the cold.

Has feelings for Ben Hanscom but it’s complicated...really complicated

Wants to be a fashion designer someday - since District 8 deals with textiles, she already has pre-existing knowledge and skill

Ben Hanscom (District 5)

18 years old

Won his Games aged 15; the Careers didn’t consider him a threat due to his size, and so he was mostly left alone. He survived by scavenging and keeping on the move, and when food in the arena became restricted by gamemakers, he lasted the longest without food.

Has taken up poetry in his time since winning the Games in order to have something to focus on

Has a crush on Beverly Marsh and is trying to find a way to tell her of his feelings - though he’s also nervous about admitting it to her

Mike Hanlon (District 11)

18 years old

Won the Games last year aged 17; survived by scavenging, hiding and hunting for food, and left snares to trap the other tributes to weaken them. Only killed last few tributes, a Career pack, in self-defense.

The year he was Reaped, his name was in the bowl forty times due to the tesserae he had to sign up for in order to feed his family.

Because he’s the freshest out of his Games, he’s still dealing with survivor’s guilt - the last thing on his mind is relationships right now

This is his first year mentoring, and he’s terrified he’ll mess up - he doesn’t want to feel responsible for the death of more people

Other Characters

Patricia “Patty” Blum (District 3)

18 years old

Is dating Stanley “Stan” Uris and is very supportive of him; she understands how difficult mentoring is and knows that he did what he had to to survive during the Games

Is good friends with Richie Tozier - her, Stan and Richie are often seen hanging out in District 3 together

Wants to be a teacher someday

She’s honestly very kind and sweet, but she’s tougher than she looks - you have to be when you grow up in this world.

Audra Phillips (District 6)

18 years old

Won her Games the year after Beverly, aged 15; she survived by getting a surplus of sponsors who sent her everything she needed - food, water, medicine etc. Killed two people - one in revenge after they killed her alliance partner, one in a final showdown that she barely won and that left her bloody, bruised and beaten

Is literally a darling of the Capitol; she knows how to play the game and use their attention to her advantage. She doesn’t like it, but she does what she needs to in order to survive.

Is dating fellow Mentor/Victor Bill Denbrough; he mentored her during her Games, and she had a crush on him. This actually worked in her advantage during her Games - the Capitol love a good love story, and they went nuts when she whispered Bill’s name/wished aloud that she could see him

Insiders/News Pages

The two key accounts to follow during the Games? The official Hunger Games Updates account, of course, and Caesar Flickerman. You truly do not need to follow anyone else when it comes to updates, gossip and entertainment!

Official Hunger Games account - live updates on Reapings, parades, training scores, interviews, tribute casualties and what’s going on in the arena. Also gives updates on Victor Tours and mentor activity. This account is very professional and mostly-unbiased.

Caesar Flickerman - Caesar’s account. Tries to be unbiased, but this is all his own opinion, so you might see a slight focus on certain tributes or alliances. Caesar knows all the gossip of the Capitol and the Games - he’s your guy to go to for the juicier, more personal stuff. This account also posts clips and transcripts of tribute interviews.

The Masterlist will be uploaded soon and linked here!

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hornsandthings · 4 years

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victory in the wrong clothing;

pairing: (adult) richie tozier x reader

summary: richie returns to his s/o after having left abruptly for derry. still grieving for eddie, he struggles to talk about what has happened. his s/o is there to comfort him, learning more about what richie had once wanted as a child and what he wants now for his future as an adult.

warnings: canon-typical themes, fluff & angst, language lmao // word count: 2.2k (oops)

you felt like an impostor here, sitting on richie tozier’s couch inside his chicago high-rise. richie trashmouth tozier’s couch; comfortable, luxurious, expensive. despite this, you knew what you’d find if you were to have a look around: the awards in his office, the display of rare vinyls next to the record player in the living room, his collection of bizarre ties that he reserved for formal events only. god, you thought a little wildly, the tea in your hands long since gone cold, i feel like a stalker. an outsider who had broken into the comedy star’s apartment, an avid fan whose mind had gone a little haywire with obsession.

and, perhaps just as a stalker would’ve, you took richie’s absence personally. first, it had manifested as anger – you had half a mind to trash trashmouth’s apartment by day two – but then it transformed into a type of gnawing worry. even now, as you sat wide awake at midnight (like every other night of this past week), your gut roiled and your heart pounded as you stared out the big window over the city. chicago’s lights – once exciting and bright – were barely coherent against the night’s darkness, twinkling pitifully as it seemed moments from being swallowed up.

richie was out in that darkness somewhere, his number no longer in service. he had left on a tuesday, home only a moment after a show of his at one of the city’s intimate comedy clubs. your friends had said things like what a bastard! and maybe all those voices finally drove him crazy and oh hon, can’t you see? he found someone else. if it had been anyone else, perhaps you would’ve believed such things, but the way richie had left…

you still remembered it vividly, because it was scary.his hands were shaking, his face pale and drawn as he was throwing clothes into a suitcase, eyes glazed over. in answer to your bewildered questions, he’d been mumbling about home and a call and a promise. some of the panic dissipated into grim determination, but richie tozier had left still looking like a dead man walking.

i don’t understand, you’d nearly wailed, richie, please! talk to me!

richie barely remembered his childhood. for him to return to the town he couldn’t name – or perhaps wouldn’tname – on some sort of random whim…

it had you guiltily checking the medicine cabinet, fearing some sort of break – but no, he’d packed his ADHD medication too. there was this, but also the way he had turned back to you before closing the door. don’t forget me, he’d said, before giving you a desperate, rushed kiss.

the smell of sweat was still in your nose. the smell of fear. richie tozier had been afraid. so no, then. he hadn’t left you. he was running towards something, even if it was the absolute last thing he wanted to do.

so here you sat in the silent apartment, watching the night deepen. you were so in thought that you didn’t register the roll of a suitcase, or the click of a key turning the lock, but then the lights flicked on and footsteps shuffled and you turned and the mug shattered on the floor and there he was, richie tozier, your boyfriend, your goddamn lover.

god, you almost couldn’t believe it. perhaps you were gaping at him, but richie looked older, almost like a stranger. but then his face crumpled, long legs taking stagger-steps as he reached for you, and you all but jumpedhim, wrapping him up in your arms.

“richie! oh god, richie—richie, i—”

“i’m sorry, baby,” he whispered, leaning over you as he hid his face in your hair, almost crushing you as he held tight – but you didn’t care, you welcomed this almost-pain, reassuring you that this was real. his shoulders were shaking, his breath haggard, nails digging into your skin. richie was crying.

you whimpered against his chest, clutching at his crinkled shirt. it almost hurt to hold him like this, body all tense, but it was all you could do for a while, still standing there on the threshold of the living room. when he got a little too heavy, his knees too weak to even hold himself up, you gently pulled him onto that couch.

richie was loathe to let go of you; he clung on, manoeuvring your legs over his lap and your head to his shoulder. cradling the back of your neck, he pressed his lips to yours in a wet kiss, mouth moulding to yours slow and steady, again and again. you cupped his jaw, the scratch of stubble against your palms and as you held his face close, his nose cold as it brushed yours.

“i missed you,” you said, and he ran his thumb over your cheekbone. “i worried for you. you scaredme, richie.” he scared you a little even now, his eyes so solemn. it was a far cry from the richie who would shock audiences with sheer audacity, make you flustered in public, make you giddy and soft with his kindness and affection. i fucking adore you, he’d once whispered into your ear.

richie winced, averting his eyes. “i know. i’m sorry. but i had to, baby. and it—it worked, but—fuck!” he shuddered, squeezing his eyes shut. “not everyone—eddie—”

he was shaking now, removing his glasses before pinching the bridge of his nose. you shook your head, feeling your own eyes well up. he wasn’t making any sense, but he was clearly in such despairthat it made your heart ache. “baby,” you murmured, gently taking his hands. “baby, what happened to you? where did you go? who… who’s eddie?”

richie looked at you, taking in your careful grip, your soft tone, your honest face. his chest seized at the way you had said eddie, no suspicion there but only concern and sympathy. god, he didn’t know how to even begin to tell you. i killed a killer clown from outer space, baby, and his psychotic henchman! they both used to pick on me and my friends in middle school! i remembered a whole life i’d forgotten and lost half of it, all in one night! i had some fucking wild TIMES, BABY!

he wanted to tell you the truth – fuck, some part of him needed to – but for all the love he knew you had for him, any sane person would make moves to have him committed. there was this, yes, but it was mostly the burden of knowing which stopped him. to know that there were horrors lurking amongst the stars, things beyond human comprehension, things which had set foot on this fucking earth – it had broken stanley’s mind, the one who had been the most adult of them all. no, he couldn’t do that to you.

“richie,” you said, reverting to a much more simpler question, “are you okay?”

and he broke, a sob escaping his throat with a hitching, ugly sound. he leaned into your touch as you hugged him close, nuzzling his face in your neck as he shook against you. it hurt to cry like this, throat constricting and nose stinging and head aching and heart breaking. the memories in his head ran like a well-watched film reel: the scrape of ground beneath him. eddie’s smile. the splattering of blood. the harsh tug of hands all over him as he screamed, they screamed, the cavern around them screamed. it was all swallowing him again, the smell of the sewers, the unspeakable sights—

it was gradual, but richie started to shift his focus back to the here and now, guided out of the black hole that was the memory of derry by your murmured reassurances, by your hand running through his hair.

“i’m sorry,” he croaked again, but you only hushed him, pressing a kiss to his temple.

“i’m just glad you’re back.”

richie sighed, lifting his head to look at you. he felt a little pathetic, practically draped over you and weeping incoherently while you were being patient, so patient. “geez. fuck me,” he groaned, but you didn’t laugh. instead, you wiped away at a track a tear had left.

he caught your wrist, held onto it as he turned his head to kiss your palm. with a deep breath, richie steeled himself, trying to think of some way to frame the recent horrors into a reasonable narrative. eventually he managed, twisting the truth into a tale of how he and childhood friends – brought back to derry to reunite after hearing one of them had died – were targeted by a serial killer. it all culminated in some unstable underground tunnel, where eddie had died and the damned thing had collapsed before richie could get him out.

“eddie…eds,” he was saying. you had tears in your eyes, squeezing his hands tightly as richie swallowed hard, eyes shining. “oh, baby,” he sighed, wincing at you in weak apology but you shook your head, managing a small smile. you could already tell – it was in the way he had said eddie’s name, in the sorrow that lined his very shoulders. “i… i loved him. when—when we were children. the fucking hypochondriac. he was so fucking neurotic, you know? god… and i never told him. i fucking forgot—how could i—”

oh, it was so painful. when richie had seen him again, seen the whole loser’s club again, they had fallen back into their childhood roles so easily – the things they said, their behaviours, their feelings. there had been moments when richie felt it again – love – but it was tainted by derry’s ugly, ugly attitudes, his own insecurities and doubts. and when eddie had died, in richie’s fucking arms, eddie had ended it with a joke and richie still hadn’t told him, his confession left silent and anonymous on the kissing bridge for those two boys of 1989.

“and we left him there, in the ground, oh fuck he’s gonna hate it—”

his voice faltered as guilt started to gnaw at him again. every night since that horrible, fateful day did richie think about this, about the fact that they had left eddie in the sewers, left him to rotnext to that horrid fucking bitch clown monster fuck and turn into the very thing he feared the most: a putrid leper. a decaying corpse.

you didn’t know what to say. all you could do was watch as richie’s face hardened, eyes rimmed red and lips set in a thin line. there was no anger in you, no sense of betrayal. you knew how strange it could be, to return to your childhood friends – a kind of regression took place, and some part of your old sense of self was reasserted, if only for a little while.

you splayed a palm over his chest. “i am so sorry, richie.” perhaps a cliché phrase, but it was the truth – you wished all of that horrorhadn’t happened to him, wished that he hadn’t suffered such a tragedy. “i love you,” you added, because this was still the truth, too. “i’m here for you, in whatever way you need.”

richie’s brow furrowed, fingers curling over your own. studying the lines of your hand, his thoughts raced, stumbling over each other as emotions roiled and bubbled up within him.

“marry me,” he blurted, head snapping up as he looked at you with wide eyes. “life is so fucking fickle. marry me. marry me, baby.” he was leaning closer now, searching your eyes. “i love you. i know i sound like a fucking two-timer but i’m still in love with you. so much. but when, when he died i just felt everything i did as a kid—”

“you don’t have to explain it away, richie,” you murmured. your heart was pounding as the question – the proposal – settled in your mind, not entirely unrealistic but certainly abrupt. he squeezed your hand once – perhaps in acknowledgement, or perhaps with impatience. “but of course – of course i’ll marry you,” you smiled, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. richie gasped a laugh, grinning wide as he hugged you close. his big hands were roaming your back, eager to touch and to hold.

you had meant what you said – of course you did – yet knew him well enough to know that sometimes he said things before really considering them. careful to keep your voice low and gentle, you said, “but maybe reconsider when you’re not… when you’re not grieving, baby.” you pulled away to see his face fall, but richie nodded, reaching for his glasses.

“i’ll still be asking you,” he murmured.

“and i’ll still say yes.”

richie’s mouth quirked, kissing your forehead as he gathered you back into his arms, his heart still aching a little but warmer now. indeed, when he had first set eyes on you tonight, he realised that it was only now that he felt truly safe again.

“i think a part of every person who we love stays with us,” you spoke, and richie had to agree, because the scar on his palm and the one on his heart were never going to go away. and eventually, hopefully, a small stretch of skin on his ring finger would always be lighter, showing the impression of a ring which he only would seldom – if ever – take off.

with this image in his mind, richie kissed you again, big hands gentle as they curled over your ears. “wanna stay with you forever,” he murmured, hand sliding down to your neck to feel your pulse. such a fragile thing, the heart. but capable of extraordinary strength, too. perhaps his would heal in time. but if it didn’t, if the cracks proved too big to mend, then at least he had you there for him, with him, to hold him if the hurt was to stay.

and he was quite alright with that.

#richie tozier x reader #richie tozier x you #richie tozier imagine #richie tozier #it stephen king #some reddie discussion le cri #not too happy w/ the end but had to get it out & finish it!

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lostsummerdayz · 4 years

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Lost Summer Deep Dive - Christie Monteiro Part 1

An In-Depth Look At A Capoeirista Forgotten By Lore

by Nay Holland

When one thinks of capoeira, it is impossible to mention the impact video games had in bringing the art into the public eye. Sure, there have been movies, books, and capoeira schools for as long as the art existed, but video games were arguably the form of media which made the art popular. The same could be said for its representation in video games.

While you had capoeiristas like Richard Meyer and Bob Wilson in the Fatal Fury series, it wouldn’t be until years later that a rich Brazilian capoeirista known as Eddy Gordo would set the bar. No, he wouldn’t just set the bar, he would be the bar himself.

In arcades during the year of 1997 and home consoles the following year, many a player felt rage from a single man. A man whose flips, spins, handstands, and kicks, would bring awe to those who played him, and frustration to those who fought against it. He was both famous for moves never seen before in a 3D fighter, and infamous for being the definition of “cheap.”

Regardless how you felt about him, there was no denying that Eddy was different from the rest of the cast. In a game where homages to Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, and Tiger Mask were evident, there was nothing who was comparable to Eddy at the time. His unique, yet slightly exaggerated, homage to capoeira brought new fans into the art. Capoeira became a popular buzz word for fighting enthusiasts almost overnight.

But was Eddy always considered to be the face of capoeira?

After Tekken Tag Tournament, Eddy was noticeably absent from the main roster. In place of him was a young Brazilian woman by the name of Christie Monteiro. A fresh face for a game that represented a new era in Tekken, her moves were very similar to Eddy’s.

In fact, apart from her normal throws, her movelist were identical to Eddy’s in every way. Eddy being a palette swap for her in Tekken 4 and Tekken 5 brought the “Christie is Eddy” angle to its head. At the time, although Eddy was included in these two games, Bandai Namco was trying to push Christie as the new face.

At the very least, they were trying to push a woman as the capoeira representative from the very beginning.

In a 1998 CVG interview, following the release of Tekken 3, the development team discussed how the concept of Eddy came about. When asked how the team went about designing its roster of characters, the team replied with the following.

“A good example is Eddy, since he wasn't planned to be the character you see at first. The development team wanted to include a character who used Capoeira, so the idea was passed on to the artist team. Mr Kimoto requested the artist to make a female character for Capoeira. However the artist said it was too difficult to design a female character who used Capoeria, so there came Eddy.”

It wouldn’t be until Dark Resurrection that Eddy had his own slot on the roster for the first time since Tekken Tag Tournament.

With the separation of the two characters at last, Christie’s push would be put on the backburner in lieu of Eddy’s importance to the story. Christie’s relevance came to a screeching halt in Tekken 7 as Eddy was one of the final main roster characters revealed without a Brazilian woman in sight.

NO!!!

Anyways, Christie wouldn’t make another official appearance until the mobile Tekken game, but considering the mobile Tekken game is literally a dump of old characters that didn’t make the cut in Tekken 7, that’s hardly a victory.

I started writing this back in early 2018, and since then, we’ve gotten Marduk back from the graveyard!

However, I’ve long since stopped holding out for hope. If she shows up, she shows up. If she doesn’t, well. It still won’t dilute the amount of love I have for this girl. Hopefully by the end of this I can shed some light on what makes Christie amazing to me.

So, what happened? How did the one who was pushed to be the babyface of capoeira after Eddy’s origin ended up becoming the queen of the indies known as mobile Tekken? What is it about Christie that makes me admire her as a character? Well, let’s start with her design.

Appearance

So, imagine the year 2001. You’re in the arcades and you see Tekken 4 for the first time. The attract video plays and you’re in wow at the graphics. Especially considering this is the first Tekken on a new engine in the arcade at least. Then suddenly you see this mami twirling and making sensual poses, flashing the biggest grin.

It was at this point you dumped quarters in the machine. Don’t lie. This totally didn’t happen to me at an arcade while I was in the Poconos. Nope.

I remember the rumors at the time. Everyone thought the designers took inspiration from Tyra Banks and Harada himself de-confirmed this.

Wearing a low-cut green floral blouse that cuts above her midriff, black leather hotpants with frills at the end, black fingerless gloves, and Spartan-style sandals, Christie’s primary outfit was made to turn heads and accentuate her features. As with most outfits and hair designs in this game, Christie’s design was also made to show off the new graphics engine for Tekken. Christie’s long brunette hair, coupled with her loose-fitting clothing, flows with the wind with every kick and acrobatic motion. Her design was made for comfort in mind as well as ease of movement.

Christie’s competitor’s outfit is a brassiere-style top with silk training pants and green fingerless gloves. Wrapped around her waist is a capoeira belt, much like Eddy’s competitor’s outfit. Whether this is an actual representation of her rank, or just a design choice, is up in the air. I’d like to say it’s the latter, though I believe a purple belt is a high ranking in capoeira.

Comparing Christie and Eddy’s competitor’s outfit, they aren’t too different from each other. In fact, side by side they appear like partners rather than a radical difference.

Following her debut, her primary outfit changes from a green to a light purple top and black to white colored hotpants. The top of her competitive gear is more confined and stylish while retaining the same effect as it did before. As the series progressed, her butterfly motif became more prevalent in her clothing.

With such a dynamic taste in style, one would think that her personality is just as bubbly, and you’d be correct to think so.

Personality

Pointing at her opponent with finger guns and firing off in their direction, Christie enters her ginga stance with a declaration…

“Here we go!”

Oozing with confidence no matter who she is fighting against, Christie never backs down from an opportunity to show off her studies in Capoeira arts.

Christie makes it clear to her competitors that if they take her lightly, they will pay for it in a loss.

Perhaps one of my favorite exchanges with another character is when she fights Bruce in Tekken 5. Bruce exclaims that the “competition has gotten easier on the eyes,” in which Christie taunts him in return. When Bruce questions if her capoeira can stand up to [his Muay Thai], she replies with a sultry tone of confidence.

Ultimately, Christie would win the bout and she toys with him, saying that his lack of rhythm will be the reason why he will never defeat her.

It’s exchanges like this, as well as her other intro pose where she blows her opponent a kiss and declares them to “go easy on her,” that she uses her looks to her advantage. It’s almost as a form of intimidation, being caught off guard by swift kicks coming at you at every direction while she emerges the victor, leaving the battle almost unscathed.

There is a depth to this. When things get serious, Christie has a sense of justice within the confines of her own capability. This is commonly brought up whenever Eddy runs off headfirst into danger.

In the same game, when she runs into Eddy, she doesn’t back down from fighting Eddy to save her grandfather’s life. Win or lose, she will fight her hardest for those who she loves, even if it means fighting the one person, she loves the most.

She’s also highly emotional as an individual as evident when she shows her disappointment at the end of her winning the 4th Iron Fist Tournament. This changes to a complete 180 as she sees the one person who she has been looking for all tournament, immediately returning to her bubbly cheerful self. A dark version of this trait shows when she is overburdened with emotion to the point of tears upon discovering that her grandfather passed away.

This combination of a flirtatious happy-go-lucky capoeirista who revels in her fights and a woman who is bound to protect those who she holds dear comes into full force in Tekken 6. Although in the overall canon she takes a backseat, controlling her in Scenario mode reveals hidden layers about her character.

One of the hypothetical scenarios that is brought up is when Christie and Eddy do cross paths in Scenario mode. If the former approaches Eddy, he will exclaim that she shouldn’t be here in high concern. If the latter approaches Christie, she will appear angry that he has, once again, decided to be inconsiderate in being brash for considering working with “Public Enemy #1.”

Both Eddy and Christie wish to protect each other, yet they do so by ironically placing themselves into harms way. While on a larger scale, they are two small fish in the giant ocean that is the Mishima bloodline story. If one zooms in on the microscope, you see two troubled young adults who wish to live in peace. One is bound by vengeance while the other is bound by duty.

Story

While Tekken 4 is the first time we see and hear of Christie, that game is not the first time we hear of her story. In Tekken 3’s prologue, Eddy was incarcerated after being framed for the murder of his father. During his sentence, he learns the art of capoeira from an elderly master. Up until his release, Eddy perfected the art of capoeira and entered the third King of Iron Fist tournament to exact

That elderly man was none other than…

Well…

The old man never had an official name. The Tekken wiki has his name as

DENSETSU NO KAPOEIRA MASUTAA

or the “Legendary Capoeira Master.”

For a while, the urban legend regarding his name was “Ho Chi Myong,” but unlike the Tara Banks inspiration, this wasn’t ever confirmed by Bandai Namco. I don’t think it ever will.

The one thing that was confirmed, however, was that the

DENSETSU NO KAPOEI---I’m sorry.

The elderly capoeira master was Christie’s grandfather. How did Christie herself know capoeira? Through Eddy, as a form of mutual respect for her grandfather teaching him the art. Suddenly Christie and Eddy having identical moves isn’t farfetched.

However, I always wondered why Christie’s grandfather never taught her capoeira himself? The obvious answer would be because he, too, was imprisoned. Still, you’d consider that maybe he would have taught her when she was a child or began to teach her. Who knows?

At the end of the King of Iron Fist Tournament 3, Eddy finds out that it was Kazuya Mishima who orchestrated the events which led to his father’s murder and his own imprisonment. Since then, he has sought out to find Kazuya and settle the score on his own terms.

Enter Tekken 4, where a concerned Christie realizes Eddy has gone missing. In her response, she spends the 4th Iron Fist Tournament looking for Eddy, sensing trouble brewing on the horizon.

Honestly this was Eddy’s fault to begin with. Had Eddy not told Christie that he was going to avenge his father’s death, she wouldn’t have bothered to put herself in harm’s way. However, Christie’s story had to start somewhere yeah?

In the end, Eddy doesn’t find Kazuya, but, if we take Christie’s ending in Tekken 4 as canon, we can deduce some details.

Christie wins the iron fist tournament, incredibly bemused, as she failed at her original goal in locating Eddy. However, seeing a familiar face in the crowd, she runs over to Eddy in a full embrace. Eddy appears in this ending with a cast on his arm, so it is assumed that his progress in finding his father’s murderer ended prematurely. Even so, despite his lack of success, he still shows up to his girl’s victory match in support. What a romantic.

Several months later, tragedy strikes. Christie’s grandfather is inflicted with an illness and the race to find enough money to pay for the operation begins. In the end, no matter who wins the tournament, they use their prize money to pay for the operation which turns out to be a success. Christie, Eddy, and her grandfather are all seen at a park practicing capoeira and everyone lives happily ever after, right!?

Unfortunately, not.

Several years later and the climate is different. Jin Kazama wages war against the world and it turns out that neither Christie nor Eddy was able to win the tournament after all.

Running out of time and resources, Jin makes a deal with Eddy. If Eddy works for him and helps exact Jin’s vengeance against Kazuya, then Jin will help pay for the operation. Considering this as an opportunity to become in direct contact with Kazuya, the murderer of his father, it’s a win win for Eddy.

He didn’t want to be a part of this war, but for the safety of the one person who was a father figure for him and the chance to kill the one who has caused him years of torment, he will take up a gun for Jin.

So, where does this leave Christie? Back to where we once were in Tekken 4, on the lookout for Eddy and her grandfather.

Do you see where I’m getting at now? “As the series progressed, Christie’s role became diluted?”

The sad part is that Christie is not the only character to suffer through this “character dilution.” The4thSnake’s video on Asuka Kazama goes over the same points that I could ever make, so please give that video a watch when you can. In Tekken 6, if it wasn’t Mishima related, it was on the backburner.

youtube

Once again, both parties are unsuccessful. Christie never finds a cure for her grandfather’s illness and he succumbs. Eddy is deceived by Jin, refusing to hold his end of the bargain, and is unable to save his master’s life. While visiting his grandfather’s grave, Christie discovers Eddy.

Instead of a warming reunion, Christie, in a fit of rage and sadness, slaps him while demanding where he was. In response, Eddy stands there, motionless, as he throws his Mishima Zaibatsu pin to the ground.

This is where Christie’s story ends. Officially.

What began as a bright young capoeira student ended a grieving shell of a person, thanks to the dishonesty of Mishimas and Eddy for pulling a Knuckles and believing Eggman---Jin Kazama.

If we look at the Tag 2 endings and assume, they take place after 6, Eddy takes a page out of King’s book and opens up a capoeira school for orphaned children. After some time passes, he embarks on a trip to become the world greatest stuntman the Mishima Zaibatsu has ever seen!

No of course not he’s going to confront his father and master’s murderers of course! What else would Eddy POSSIBLY do at this point!?

In Christie’s ending, as a continuation, she catches wind of this and chases Eddy, but, as history tends to repeat itself, she’s too late. Eddy is already on the train.

Some. Things. Never. Change.

At least she was spared a grim fate, unlike our friend here.

Conclusion

So. Where do we go from here? From the beginning, we know that Eddy is an integral part of Christie’s story. However, there are signs in her design that shows she can hold her own, both in a fight and in her sense of justice.

I recommend anyone to play through Scenario mode with all of the available roster and not just Lars, but in Scenario mode, Christie has a sense of justice that almost felt refreshing. It wasn’t just simply “where’s Eddy,” but it was also “I have to stop the messed up things from going on in the world”

Earlier I posted a photo where she confronts Eddy for working with the Mishimas and she has no qualms in defeating him to knock sense into him. I also mentioned the confrontation between Bruce and Christie, which is just about non-canon as far as Tekken 6 is confirmed. They treat their encounter as if it was the first time they’ve ever met. Bummer.

But there are signs of life for this character and when it shows, it’s refreshing to see. Christie is not the only character who suffers from this, but she is the one who is marred by the reputation of “always being in Eddy’s shadow.”

When discussion is brought up on why she shouldn’t be in the game? “Eddy is already in there.”

When the game throws her into a repeat storyline for the third straight game in the series? “Eddy is already there.”

Why is Christie out and about? “Her grandfather, but Eddy is there as well.”

Part of the reason why I considered myself a Christie main is because Christie is an underdog in the Tekken universe as well as within the competitive scene.

The irony here is that Christie was meant to replace Eddy, but the inverse happened.

One day, Christie can exist without having to worry about being in Eddy’s shadow. A fan can dream. Until then, I’ll always consider her my favorite fighting game character so there’s no replacing that at least.

There will be a Part 2 to this as there’s one key game that she’s a part of where she does regain some of that luster I wish she had in the main series. A game that is largely underrated but a game where Christie has had her moment in the sun.

Stay tuned for Part 2 soon! If you weren’t sick of me talking about Christie and made it this far, congrats! Stick around for the follow-up!

#tekken #tekken 7 #eddy #christie monteiro #video game

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land-of-brains-and-chocolate · 5 years

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god it WILL NOT stop bothering me until i talk about it. the way we got here. it’s not just about the book anymore, not at all, and it’s certainly never been about “shipping”, at this point it’s how helpless the tactics of the guy make me feel.

step one: refer to people who have read previous venom books and noticed the trend throughout the nineties to portray eddie and the symbiote as a man and an agender alien in an ambiguously or not-so-ambiguously romantic relationship, which was picked up on and completely unambiguously canonised in the very last run, consistently refer to these people as “shippers”, lovingly condescend to them, do not ever treat “the ship” as existing beyond their imagination

[I LOVE THAT YOU GUYS EXIST]

result: make people forget that this is a complete misrepresentation and he has received no criticism whatsoever for “not making a ship canon” because that is not what he did, he decanonised it and then denied doing so and painted everyone it ever meant something to as essentially deluded - and, considering that that’s all they are, he’s being awfully kind and accommodating, isn’t he?

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

step two: actively seek out these no-good shippers on tumblr! tell them that you’re watching them! read their detailed posts in which they express their grievances about your comic book to their friends and misrepresent their points on your twitter so your bajillion followers can affirm that Those People are categorically wrong about everything!

[EDDIE IS CODEPENDENT]

people are mad at him because he said eddie was codependent! not because he’s reframing the extremely rare story of a troubled queer relationship that was ultimately still a redemptive force in these characters’ lives as an unhealthy compulsion that corrupts, hm, what a fresh and unfamiliar take, no reason why this would strike a nerve - and, recently, of course, as something inherently abusive, every bit of hope and change for the better vile and fake.

literally just start vaguing about people’s personal tumblr blogs on your professional twitter account with the little, little blue checkmark and everything, use that to make passive-aggressive references to people’s posts! why not!

[LOVE EACH OTHER]

people talk about how they like a symbiote and its host getting along (and they did, that very night, talk quite a lot about ngozi)? that is so dumb and lame.

[EVERYTHING IS AWESOME]

people get sick of edgy shock factor writing that throws one dark theme after another at them without treating any of them with the consideration they deserve? people expect some moments of levity in a venom book?

they’re asking for stories with no conflict where nothing bad ever happens! but it’s okay, he knows better, he knows you just don’t know what you want! it’s not like endless sadness is just as likely to be dreadfully boring or unintentionally hilarious as endless happiness!

result: o w n e d god he sure is shutting down every point no one has ever made

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

step three: literally get so mad at people on tumblr talking about your comic that you not only boil their opinions down to THE SHIIIIP but literally say that their opinions don’t matter because they literally would never say it “to your face” literally because it’s “easy to be brave on tumblr”

literally

say these words

[IT’S EASY TO BE BRAVE ON TUMBLR]

call people chicken shits for NOT talking to you directly! and then! BLOCK everybody who talks to you directly! or quote retweet them so your followers can descend like vultures! actually acknowledge that it takes bravery to interact with you if you’re in the Tumblr Demographic, you know, one of Those People, and frame yourself as in the right for it???

am i losing my mind???

[SIX PEOPLE ON TUMBLR]

get so mad at people on tumblr talking about your comic that you not only claim they’re the only people ever to talk badly of it but imply that you’re one step away from namedropping the specific perpetrators. that’s not ominous at all!

it’s an age-old question: how many times does one of marvel’s top writers with legions of fans have to imply his antagonistic awareness of your specific existence before you’re on a first name basis? and also paranoid?

result: stir shit. be a shit stirrer. faint when your shit stirring does in fact stir shit. you can’t go “you would never” and be surprised when people do, you... can’t...

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

step four: whip out your ally card... to whip the people you’re supposed to be allied to with it. try to use your knowledge of queer issues to shut down actual queer people.

[I DON’T THINK IT’S APPROPRIATE TO ASSUME GENDER]

either that, or straight-up make a “did you just assume my gender” joke. i can’t find the original tweet anymore, so it’s possible it was that and he deleted it because it was too blatant, lol.

result: MAYBE YOU GUYS WERE THE PROBLEMATIC ONES ALL ALONG

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

step five: remember that interview where he outright stated that he just wants to, just to be the definite venom run? just to put the biggest dent in canon he can? just to break everybody’s toys and emerge victorious as the one person with the valid take on venom?

yeah, those things become more noticeable in the actual book, over time, and acceptance of that is, uh, not universal? not everybody’s up for him spending several issues in a row on e s t a b l i s h i n g d o m i n a n c e by having eddie sit around as other characters tell him that a ton of stuff other writers from michelinie to thompson to costa to kaminski to slott to jenkins have done actually sucked and was wrong and fake and never happened? through retcons that make no sense, like, factually don’t fit?

people don’t like you walking back character and relationship development to further your end goal of recasting the symbiote as the personification of addiction and abuse instead of itself a survivor of extreme abuse who has been constantly denied personhood in a way that is frighteningly resonant and who has been going through a genuine redemption arc for years now?

people don’t like you acting like eddie never had a reason for being who he is before and you had to make one up? one that doesn’t fit the character at all, which you didn’t realise because you apparently thought the character had no characterisation before you came along?

you can imagine how these things might spark nerd rage?

and you can probably imagine who this nerd rage was blamed on, yeah?

these criticisms inherently require knowledge of venom canon, because they’re largely about disrespect for it, these criticisms are not related to shipping of any kind - but of course the only thing people could possibly be mad about is the "ship", the only ones making a fuss are those “shippers”, those casuals, Those People who only care about One Thing and don’t understand the real gritty reality of the, god you get it i’m making fun

[I KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT]

you’re the only one, don. it’s true.

and i know, i know for a fact, that he’s been aware of criticism from other groups all along, that he was, for example, witness to this livestream that spends like a solid hour a month mercilessly dragging him through the dirt, and you know what the extent of his response was?

thanks for checking the book out.

that’s it. that’s all. this guy hasn’t gotten any less loud about criticising him, either. wishing for his book’s cancellation and retconning. but nothing more. he gets to keep to himself. he is #valid.

people have been taking the piss out of him on youtube, on reddit. only tumblr ever earned his ire. only tumblr gets namedropped at convention panels.

and now, now more than ever? you better believe your regular run-of-the-mill nerds, straight, male, utterly uninterested in the icky stuff, everything, are mad. almost everyone who’s truly tits deep in venom lore is mad.

and so he’s said he’s received threats. and i’m sure he has. i’ve received threats. you’ve received threats. it’s never okay. it sure as shit never helps to send them.

he’s gotten a lot of fucking inappropriate personal vitriol! lots of it actually “ship”-related! i’m categorically against contacting the guy for any reason!

but who is to blame? who do people accept as being to blame? who do news outlets report on as being to blame? when, i presume, not every single one of them actually went “i’m doing this specifically because i’m a (thunder clap) shipper”? when large-scale retcons are literally always met with nerd rage? when a shipper-less fandom probably still would’ve had threats?

[THIS IS INSANE]

[IT’S THE SHIPPERS]

result: if all criticism = “shippers”, and “shippers” = harassment, then everyone who has no actual idea of what’s going on but who doesn’t like “shippers” is automatically on his side and nobody who isn’t a “shipper” wants to risk the association by criticising him.

get this stuff out to his followers, to news outlets, to people completely uninvolved and contextless, and watch the bile run over everywhere because lots of people are ready to accept this narrative in comic book spaces.

have people in the replies and comments eagerly discussing how this is more proof that c+o+m+i+c+s+gate was right and they’re the only reasonable ones. how disgusting and crazy "shippers” are. how donny should keep doing his best to trigger the gays. there’s no pushback against these ideas.

and i’m so fucking stuck between wanting to defend the man, wring my hands and apologise on behalf of the other These People, because i don’t see anything justifiable in their actions, and in being... just... just so frustrated... with everything... with throwing everyone out to the dogs... and claiming that he doesn’t mean to... when he has this whole history of belittling "shippers” specifically... of making sure their public image is that of people who just don’t know what they’re talking about and are in no way worth empathising with... of only drawing attention to the aggressive ones and blocking the reasonable ones

when he literally only stands to benefit from doing all this.

this is massive amounts of free positive pr.

this makes him essentially immune to criticism of any kind.

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

i forgot! somewhere along the line, he did do something very good and disavowed association with co/mics/ga/te!

[C0M1C5G8]

why the fuck am i censoring? tumblr search stopped working decades ago.

anyway, it should come as no particular surprise why these people assumed he would side with them. not that any high profile writer who values his standing would, really. are there any? maybe there are, i’m not up to date on this drama.

i just think it’s funny - genuinely not his fault, but hilarious - that this was apparently enough to inspire a “boycott”? and it was a fart in the wind?

which is the least surprising thing ever because there is actually nothing whatsoever to hold these people’s ire to be found in venom? excluding aliens, there has been one real and present character who isn’t a white guy in 11 issues? it is actively less queer than it was before? donny has never caved to the essjaywoo pressure in any way, shape or form? what were they... thinking? it’s almost like these people are dumb?

all they've done is ensure that, without it actually doing anything, venom gets the commendation for being A Comic The Gators Don't Like?

anyway.

what do we do moving forward? i don’t know. nothing. not harassing anyone. keep being salty on tumblr. do not engage him. i think i’m more about stalling the chain reaction he’s caused than the man himself. if you’re not a “shipper”, of course, keep posting your criticism, maybe stand up for “shippers” who are being dogpiled over genuine criticism, don’t let people say This Is All Proof Of How You Can’t Have Queer Content Because Queers Are Crazy.

and be nice to mike costa.

#i feel a lot better actually #it sure took a lot of words to achieve that

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yallreddieforthis · 6 years

Text

I Can’t Believe It’s Not Richie

Fandom: It (2017)

Pairing: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier

Rating: T (for language)

Words: 2.7k

Pre-relationship. Movie canon-compliant but not book. Also posted on AO3

It seems impossible that a person can be both that shitty and the shit at the same time but like...it’s Richie. And since Richie doesn’t give a single fuck about following any kind of rules, Eddie guesses the ones that govern Eddie’s emotions don’t apply to him either. Greaaaat.

Sometimes Eddie can't believe it's Richie.

Maybe even most of the time, like when everything out of his mouth is your mom and my wang and it's just words, it's not even funny, and Eddie can only tune him out or try to talk over him. Richie cannot shut the fuck up for one goddamn second. And it's not even like Eddie can pin it to anything specific—like, oh, Richie talks more when he's angry or nervous or excited—because he does it when he's every one of those things and any other thing besides. The tone may change—the subject matter even—but the talking. Never. Stops.

Eddie doesn’t really consider himself a beacon of cultural knowledge, but he does own a TV. So he at least has a vague idea of what a British person might sound like, which is more than he can say for Richie. Richie also owns a TV, and yet his British Guy impression is so god-awful that Eddie has to assume he’s basing it on someone’s description of a fever dream they once had about a London street urchin from the eighteen hundreds. This only applies to the actual words though, not the pronunciation—which is pretty much indistinguishable from just Richie being Richie—and that’s across the board for all the voices, not just the British Guy. For someone who loves imitating other people as much as Richie does, it’s unbelievable how remarkably all his Guys sound like they’re from Derry, Maine. Because shouting out mangled phrases he half-remembers from the time he watched Mary Poppins six years ago—in the most American voice imaginable—is still somehow Richie’s interpretation of a British accent.

That isn’t even the worst part of The Voices though. The worst part is that Richie seems to have a sixth sense that alerts him to the exact moment at which it would most infuriate Eddie for him to do one, and invariably it’s as if a little light goes off in the least-developed part of his brain that says Time To Be Italian! (or Southern, or German—he has a constantly expanding, but not noticeably improving, repertoire) and it’s like he just has to do it right then. Sometimes it makes Eddie want to scream at him. Sometimes Eddie does scream at him. But screaming makes no difference; Eddie knows perfectly well that Richie will absolutely do it again the second the urge strikes him, no matter how inappropriate the timing or what Eddie does in reaction.

He's fucking gross too. Not necessarily grosser than the rest of them, but he certainly subscribes to the teenage boy brand of hygiene that dictates that he only really has to shower when Eddie finally shoves him away with a you smell like a sweaty nutsack. Of course then Richie inches closer and it's all how would you know, huh? and Eddie has to be like because I have nuts too, dipshit, and if you never wash them you'll—

And then all his warnings about bacteria and fungal infections are drowned out in the your mom and my wang and vague, half-heard rumors Richie repeats about people from school that Eddie knows aren't true, and he's pretty sure Richie doesn't even believe himself. Fuck him and his terrible, nasty-ass jokes.

Some days he thinks Richie purposely doesn't shower specifically so that he can torment Eddie with his unbearable boy stank. Or how he'll like, step in dog shit and just sort of shrug and wipe the sole of his shoe in the grass and then keep going with whatever he was doing like he's not literally tracking shit everywhere. If Eddie were to step in dog shit—which he wouldn't because he watches where he's going like a sane person—it would bring his entire day to a screeching halt. He gets that he's in the minority when it comes to these kinds of things, but he doesn't get why.

And then Richie has the audacity to suggest that Eddie's just as bad as the rest of them—when he says things like you’re convinced your shit doesn't stink, or it’s the smell of your own breath wafting back in your face—like he thinks Eddie is kind of gross too. Which shouldn't bother him, but it does. Somewhere very, very deep down in his gut he has a nagging suspicion as to why that might possibly be, but he's hell-bent on ignoring it at least until the inevitable destruction of the planet Earth, if not even longer. And that’s going like...pretty well for him. Reasonably well. Maybe a little less well than it used to be, but he's almost fourteen now and he thinks he should probably have a solid handle on the whole thing within the next couple of years.

But even if Richie wasn't either of those things—annoying, disgusting—there's nothing really exceptional that he is. It's not like he's a genius; the gigantic, goofy glasses make him look smarter than he actually is, and he gives as few shits about school as he does about anything else. Eddie is sure that Mrs. Tozier has never been to a parent-teacher conference where she didn’t hear the phrase if he only applied himself, and he’s equally sure that every one of the teachers who said it knew that they were wasting their breath. If Mrs. Tozier—or anyone else—stood even the slightest chance of motivating Richie to care about pre-algebra, there would have been upward mobility in his GPA long before now. Eddie has to assume he does at least some homework—if for no other reason than because he hasn’t been held back yet—but as far as he can tell, Richie bent over a textbook at home is a sight as yet unwitnessed by mankind.

Richie’s not athletic either—by any definition of the word—at least not until they decide to make Competitive Talking an Olympic sport. He’s really good on his bike, but that’s a skill he developed out of practicality because the alternative is being stuck walking all over Derry, and it’s not like being able to ride a bike is something to brag about because even Eddie can do that. But Richie’s not a fast runner. He can’t do a push-up unless it’s the kind that only count as push-ups when girls do them, knees on the ground. He can’t even throw a spitball into a trash can from three feet away (his performance in the Rock War against Bowers and his goons was a crazy, adrenaline-fueled exception)—and like, okay, the bad aim can probably be chalked up to his horrendous eyesight, but even beyond that there’s this general, overall lack of coordination. Eddie has what amounts to a universal pass that effectively excuses him from participating in PE for his entire school career, so he’s never been physically present for what goes down on the yard, but he can pretty much piece it together from the scrapes and bruises all over Richie’s arms and legs. It doesn’t matter what unit they’re on—dodgeball, baseball, soccer, tetherball—Richie plays only one position: target.

He doesn’t fare any better in the kind of extracurriculars that teachers and parents care about, like music. Richie is an aggressively bad singer—a fact Eddie is forcibly reminded of every time anyone has a birthday because Richie always makes a point of sandwiching Eddie between himself and someone who won’t run away (usually the birthday kid’s mom) while he belts out an eardrum-shattering rendition of Happy Birthday at the top of his lungs. Richie seems to interpret birthday party invitations as personal challenges for him to sing louder and worse, challenges he has so far risen to spectacularly on every occasion. The song gets longer each time too, because he never forgets to include Frankenstein on channel nine and the big fat lady on channel eighty and whatever new, ruder verses he’s scrounged up out of nowhere between the last birthday party and this one. Richie’s singing is actually one of the most obnoxious things about him, in Eddie’s opinion, which is really saying something.

He is so unrestrainedly, deliberately awful that Eddie could honestly imagine some idiot adult who doesn’t know Richie listening to him screech the chorus of Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go over and over in Eddie’s ear (the newest sabotage tactic he’s been deploying at the arcade to try to make Eddie lose at Street Fighter) and thinking wow, maybe that kid actually has a beautiful singing voice but doesn’t want anyone to know because he’s worried people will make fun of him. They would be wrong, of course, because even when he’s not actively trying to suck, Richie can’t sing for shit. Eddie doesn’t have to know anything about music to be able to tell that Richie’s real singing voice—the one he almost never uses—is flat and off-key. And forget about instruments because whenever someone makes the mistake of letting him get his hands on one, he immediately tries to shove it down his pants—or worse, Eddie’s pants—and pretend it’s a wang.

There’s art—and Eddie has noticed that being a really good artist can absolve someone of the sin of sucking at everything else. Bill, for example, is talented enough with watercolor pencils that if he drew people’s attention to his sketches, he could probably get away with not knowing how to write a half-decent thesis statement or multiply fractions (even though Bill does know how to do those things) because people would just affix the tortured artist label to him and stop giving him shit about the stutter. And Richie actually draws a lot—probably as much as Bill if it’s purely a question of quantity over quality—it’s just that the only things he seems to be interested in drawing are dicks, and the places he chooses to draw them are all technically the property of the Derry Public School District. Also, his fine motor skills are at least as bad as his gross ones, because his handwriting looks the way his singing voice sounds, and the dicks he draws make Eddie question if Richie has ever even looked in his own pants before.

And yet, despite all of the incontrovertible evidence that Richie is actually a walking disaster, there are other times that Eddie can't believe it’s not Richie to everyone else. Or even like anyone else.

It could be argued that it’s almost inevitable due to the sheer volume of jokes he tells, but every so often Richie will get one absolutely, unassailably right. His timing, his word choice—the heavens open, the planets align, and suddenly everybody around him is laughing so hard they can't breathe, Eddie included. His eyes usually end up watering when it happens, but he squints through them to look at Richie because in those moments, Richie glows like nothing else. He tries to act like it isn’t a big deal that everyone is pissing themselves from whateverthefuck he just blurted out of his incessantly flapping mouth hole, but Eddie can tell how thrilled he is when people actually find him funny. It's happening more and more often nowadays, enough so that Eddie sometimes wonders if maybe Richie is wasting his time at school after all. And who needs sports or music or art anyway?

And he could be a whole lot worse about Eddie’s germ thing if he wanted to be, like how some people give him hell about the pills and the inhaler and the hand washing. Richie doesn’t have detergent hands but he sure as shit will mouth off to anybody who gives Eddie a hard time about his. He can’t say Richie doesn’t at least try to look out for him, in his own weird way. Or Bill, or Stan, or Mike, or any of them. It causes more trouble than it’s worth more often than not, especially because Richie doesn’t have any discernable muscle with which to back up his shit-talking, so it probably would honestly be better if he would just like...not. But Eddie can’t really help appreciating it all the same.

But the hardest thing to ignore about Richie—and Eddie wouldn’t admit this to anyone, even under threat of death by clown—is that his memories of what Richie did for him over the summer have become a kind of personal, private shield against fear. They all try to avoid thinking about It as much as they reasonably can (which isn’t much; it’s not like you just go and forget about the time you and all your friends climbed down a haunted well so you could almost get eaten by a demon clown in the sewers), but Eddie’s positive he isn’t the only one who lies awake at night when the sound of his own pounding heartbeat is making him too nauseous to sleep.

The lights are off because it’s almost worse when they’re on. Maybe if he can’t see It coming, it’ll just eat him real fast and get it over with before he even knows what hit him. Still, he doesn’t want to die—instantly is preferable to slowly, but even better is not at all. So he’s developed a set of dozens of little rules for himself to follow—like no turning over, no breathing too deeply, no limbs outside the covers, no long, slow blinks (quick ones are okay; otherwise it’s eyes all the way closed or all the way open). Realistically he knows that not a single one of these rules means jack shit to anyone outside his own brain, but somehow no-ing himself into what amounts to a vegetative state eventually bores him to sleep. Okay, usually it does. More like occasionally. Actually it’s only worked like twice, but whatever. He’ll take what he can get at this point.

Sometimes Eddie thinks he has it worse than anyone else. Well, maybe not worse than Bill. But the rest of them—he isn’t sure if any of them can really understand exactly how fucking useless he felt down in that god-forsaken lair with his arm in a cast. Bill and Beverly were awesome, Mike was like a goddamn soldier, Stan was great after he’d finished crying and even Ben, who Eddie basically thinks of as the most inoffensive kid on the planet, was tough as balls. And Eddie felt like a worthless piece of shit. He hates his arm for being broken, and he hates his nightmares for always including the broken arm. It’s coming at him—just him—and his arm is hanging limply and there’s not a goddamn thing he can do—

And that’s where Richie comes in. Only when he thinks about Richie bitching Bill out for getting them all into this shit situation while inching toward the mountain of broken toys, Richie grabbing a baseball bat and saying now I’m going to have to kill this fucking clown...only then does the terror that surrounds him all through the night start to ease up.

And then he thinks a little further back about when he fell through the floor and broke his arm in the first place, about how all his friends were crowding him and freaking the fuck out, and Richie just looked at his arm and said he was going to set the break and snapped his bone back into place while Eddie shrieked at him to do not fucking touch me. Just like, grabbed his arm where it was dangling the wrong way and fucking did it.

Sometimes… Sometimes Eddie is positive that if It were to show up in his house on any given night, Richie would immediately come crashing through his bedroom window, swinging a baseball bat. Because somehow Richie would know if It returned, would know It was coming for Eddie, would show up in time. He’d show up and keep his shit together while Eddie couldn’t. He’d probably sometimes miss with the bat, but Eddie kind of suspects that it wouldn’t matter. Richie would stand between Eddie and It and just sort of suck all the scary out of the room with his endless, pointless trash-talking. And when Eddie thinks about it that way, it’s like you know what? Screw John McClane; Richie Tozier is Eddie’s hero.

And then Richie sticks his sweaty armpit in Eddie’s face and goddamn it Eddie can’t believe it’s Richie.

#it (2017)#reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #my fics #pre-relationship #the greater fool #sorry i'm an old person and it took me a million years to figure out how to post fics on tumblr

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photomaniacs · 7 years

Photo

An Interview with Photographer Richard McLaren http://ift.tt/2vp7qVk

What do President Nelson Mandela, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Tina Turner, Halle Berry, Gwyneth Paltrow, Pierce Brosnan, Jon Bon Jovi, Marc Anthony, Mariah Carey, Jennifer Lopez, Eva Mendes, Orlando Bloom, Patrick Swayze and Heath Ledger have in common? The magical lens of Richard McLaren has captured them all. And this is only a small sampling of famous people who McLaren has photographed in his four decades in the industry.

McLaren, who had already been around the world twice by age 18, has photographed for top publications throughout the globe, including Vogue, InStyle, GQ, Vanity Fair, Elle, Rolling Stone, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, Esquire and more. NASCAR, Ford, The National Guard, Chevrolet, Gulfstream, Rolls Royce, and Sketchers are some of the commercial clients who have also relied on McLaren’s artistry.

Movie studios trust McLaren. When he is provided access to the talent for a day, he tends to do 15 to 20 different set-ups, which means a lot of really fast shooting. This allows the studio to have enough material to send out and promote the movie.

Pierce Brosnan

Phil Mistry: How long have you worked in photography?

Richard McLaren: I have been taking pictures for 35 years, closer to 40 years.

How did you get started?

I started my career when I was about 16 or 17 when I had come out of school and went into work for Scope Features, a photo print news agency which had all the top photographers in London, England on their books. So I used to assist them, all over the world on different assignments from music to fashion to advertising campaigns. I stayed at this agency for about seven or eight years and became a freelance photographer after that.

Heath Ledger

What brought you from London to Los Angeles?

I used to shoot all big-name celebrities. I used to come to America with my photo team and my wife and kids, and we rented a house in Beverly Hills. We used to spend six months in the year in Los Angeles. We would work five-six weeks at a time and then come back after about a month. And then I thought we might as well move here. So in January 2000, I moved the whole family to Los Angeles.

So were you into photography in school?

Oh, yeah. In school, we used to shoot 16mm documentaries, and there was a film club at school.

I have heard that your first job involved putting oil on naked ladies. Is that true?

As I mentioned earlier, I was 16 when I joined the agency in London. There was a studio attached to the agency, and there was one photographer who did all the glamor shots. On my first day, he asked me to rub oil onto naked ladies.

At home that evening my mother asked me how my first day at the job was. I said, “Great, I rubbed oil on two naked ladies, ” and she said, “You’re not going back there tomorrow.” And my brothers said, “Oh, we’ll go in there for you.” My mother is now 96, God bless her, and if I mention it, she still remembers the story and laughs over it.

Eddie Van Halen and David Lee Roth together after 23 years

In 2006 David Lee Roth and the Van Halen brothers, two icons of the music industry reunited, and you witnessed it?

Yes, David Lee Roth and Eddie Van Halen’s hadn’t seen each other for 23 years [since disbanding after their classic 1984 album]. When I turned up, Eddie Van Halen was getting his makeup done, and David Lee Roth’s walked by and they looked at each other and sort of nodded. I told my assistant, “Give me the camera,” as they may have a fight. And then Van Halen said to me, “I would like to do a picture with David?”

The picture of the two of them together that I did ran in Rolling Stone [on the website], and I got thousands upon thousands of hits and turned out to be a historical picture. But then something interesting happened. We shot on a Wednesday, and his manager called me on Friday and asked me not to release the pictures as Van Halen was going into rehab. So the pictures just appeared on the Rolling Stone site.

Tina Turner

Tina Turner did not know how to swim. How did you get her to go into the pool chest deep?

Her manager knew that I could do just one shoot and get them a ton of publicity. Tina had an infinity pool in the south of France, and yes she couldn’t swim, but I managed to get her in the water. It was a funny shoot as I didn’t bring any swimwear with me and I was in the pool in my underpants. My guys were holding the lights in the water, and I was shooting on a 4 x 5 film camera. She was terrified of the water, and one of my assistants was underwater holding her legs.

It worked out to be a very successful picture as we got 40 or 50 covers from the selected frame. I was very into doing pictures that would cause a stir, get a lot of attention and generate publicity—and that was what I was known for.

Jean-Claude Van Damme

How did you get Jean-Claude Van Damme to strip naked and pose with lions?

He was out in South Africa doing a movie, and his manager asked me if I would go out there and do a shoot. My friend has a lion farm in South Africa, and I organized some lion cubs. Ultimately Van Damme, who had a great body and loved himself, was naked and holding up two cubs by the scruff of their necks and that picture ran around the world to promote the movie.

Can things go wrong with celebrities and lions?

They were only lion cubs. However, things went wrong in a different way. I asked a Dubai sheik whether I could shoot in his suite at the hotel in South Africa and he agreed. We shot with six lion cubs, and they ended up ripping the cushions and furniture in the $25,000-per-night suite!

Andrew Zimmern Bizarre Foods poster

Andrew Zimmern Bizarre Foods shoot

Any other disasters ever happened on your shoots?

Sure… I was shooting photos for Paulina Rubio, the Latin singer and actress. It was for a shoe company, and I had pictured her naked on a horse with just her shoes. The daylight studio that the client chose was four floors up, so we got the horse in the freight elevator. The horse wasn’t scared but as soon as we got in the studio he did the biggest pee and it stank. Yes, we had to spend 30 minutes mopping it all up before we could continue.

The picture went up in Mexico City on a huge billboard. However, they had to take it down in 24 hours as numerous drivers kept staring at the poster and crashed their cars!

Nelson Mandela

How did you end up shooting Nelson Mandela?

I was shooting the Miss World pageant in South Africa when I met an associate of Mandela and requested her for an opportunity. There were 78 photography applications before me and I did not have much hope but then two days later she called me and asked to come over the next day.

It was the only time I’ve been nervous on a shoot and I have been with some of the most prestigious people in the world. Understanding what he had gone through, it was the pinnacle of my career.

Desmond Tutu

And Desmond Tutu?

At the same time that I was photographing Mandela, Desmond Tutu was scheduled to retire. The day he retired I got to go to the church, see him pray and did a series of portraits.

And you shot Winnie Mandela as well?

Yes, and also on the same trip without Mandela knowing, I photographed Winnie Mandela as well in Soweto. So I actually shot three iconic people in South Africa on a single trip.

National Guard

What’s in your camera bag?

Digital now although I am a film man, a pure film man! I’ve got 28 boxes of film cameras from 35mm, 645, 66, 67, 4×5, 8×10, whatever, I’ve got basically everything. But now, nobody wants film as such, which is a shame. I am a Canon man and I also shoot digital H2 Hasselblad as well with the IQ digital backs.

The problem with the digital cameras is that they are so d*mn sharp so that if you are shooting anyone older than 15, they look terrible because they show every line and every flaw in your skin. And you have to end up softening everything down. And when you have a big 27-inch preview monitor they say, “Do I look that bad?”

Gulfstream

In the film days, I had certain cameras and lenses that were soft with different qualities. I was then able to use the camera that would work correctly for the person I was shooting. But nowadays you don’t have an option, as the digital cameras are so sharp that they are scary.

I recently shot a veteran singer-songwriter who’s has had a career of 50 years. When the pictures come on the 40-inch monitor, whoa, you see every sore, every vein, everything. These are not the most flattering of cameras but clients like these cameras because they got great quality as you can do a postcard or put it on the side of the hotel and it still looks beautiful. I don’t particularly like it, I think they are too sharp, they are too critical but you have to deliver what the clients want.

But I got this beauty software, which is fantastic, as clients love the way it makes them look.

Colin Farrell

Can you make anybody look beautiful?

My forte in photography is lighting. I always make people look beautiful.

The problem with digital now is that you don’t have to be technically fantastic or brilliant or even good because you got all these computer experts that can tweak and change the color, soften it, make it look flattering on the skin or whatever.

Heather Graham, Polaroid Transfer

In the film days, you just got [the film] processed and that was WHAT IT WAS. Now you can pull a recipe on the computer so that when you shoot a picture, it comes in the way you wanted it to look. At the end of the day, it’s the end result that matters not what came out of the camera.

It’s [beauty software] amazing software for men or women. You can change the noses, you can change the lips, and you can change the eyes. You don’t have to have a retoucher with you anymore as you can just run this software, which takes roughly 3 minutes to work.

Emirates Airline, HQ Building, Dubai

Your Emirates image landed up covering the complete side of a building at the airport. Did you have to shoot it in a particular way, so that it could be enlarged this big?

No, we just shot that on the Hasselblad and they enlarged it to something crazy like 240 feet high. It ended up being the biggest Billboard ever done in Dubai

Do your photos get used without permission?

My photos go directly to the clients or magazines. But after they have used it they do end up on the Internet and there is not much you can do about it, whether they have scanned it from a magazine or whatever.

Dance Moms

Have you ever sued for unauthorized use?

No. But back in London, many years ago, there was a company I did shoot for and they were published in Esquire and someone scanned the images and was selling in a record store. Esquire went to court after them but then that company just closed down. So you end up spending 30 grand and get nothing. It may work out for big companies but for me, it doesn’t make sense as it costs thousands of dollars and you may not get any money back.

Patrick Swayze

When you photographed Patrick Swayze dancing in Pinewood Studios, a paparazzi shooter got the photos published before you could even process the film. How did that feel?

That shoot was actually at an airport hangar in Santa Monica and was for Mondo Uomo in Italy. I never saw any other photographer there but he must have been shooting from far with a 400-600mm lens and the next day the photos appeared in one of those rag magazines. The editor called me to protest but that was the only time it happened to me, after which I have been much more on the ball. If I have done big names, I have had security.

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony got together for the first time for their album in a Miami house by the ocean. Paparazzi were coming by in boats but I just had a 12 feet high black curtain put around the location. If you are going to shoot near a public beach where paparazzi are going to be there, they are going to find you but you have to be alert.

Marc Anthony

Celebrities like Beyoncé are taking their own pictures and posting them to Instagram. Is this cutting out the professional photographer?

No. Social media has made it easier for celebrities to post pictures but they still need great photographers to shoot great photos.

How limited are the limited-edition prints you are selling on your site?

I’m doing 20×30 inch prints in an edition of 20 prints at the moment. I will see how the interest is and then maybe release another edition in a different size, like 30×40 or 16×20 inches.

Emirates Airline’s A319 private jet charter fleet, Dubai

Do you still shoot in anything other than digital?

Yes, I do personal projects. I do portraits on wet-plate collodion [invented in 1851] on 16×20 inch cameras with brass lenses. I take the photos on black glass or aluminum and the photos are incredible. I love shooting on large format cameras like Linhof but nobody wants it anymore, which is a shame.

Recently you have been directing videos. How does it feel not to be behind the camera yourself?

I love shooting motion and I have got into it because the cameras we use are capable of shooting it now, so it’s opened up the business for the photographer. I like directing and I operate the camera as well, so I can do all basically. We do TV poster shoots for shows and nine times out of ten the client will ask for a video as well. And it works out cheaper for the client, as they don’t have to bring in different crews for stills and motion.

NASCAR drivers at Daytona

What cameras are you using to shoot video?

We shoot on the RED, ARRI Alexa and the Canons. When we shot the Emirates Airlines commercial, we shot the Canon on 4K and the quality is beautiful.

Do you pull stills from your 4K videos?

I don’t because I prefer to shoot stills with my still cameras unless it’s something you can’t get on your still camera. When you have someone running towards you, there is a greater chance of getting a perfect frame at 24 fps than with just 10 fps on a still camera.

Eva Mendes

What lighting do you use?

Profoto. That’s what I like. I’ll shoot Broncolor. I’ll shoot whatever is available but my go to is Profoto.

And what lighting do you use for videos?

We’ll just bring HMIs although we shoot a lot of daylight videos as well.

Emirates Airlines

Between still and video how much equipment do you have to carry to a shoot?

For the Emirates Airlines campaign, I took 3 tons of equipment to Dubai: 6 huge flat cases with the lighting, 12 camera cases and probably 10 bags of accessories. There were 80 people on the shoot that lasted for 12 days. I had 40 models, 7 assistants, 1 digital tech, hair and makeup stylists, art directors and ad agency people from Holland, clients, crew and local runners.

I shot 30 print campaigns and four motion commercials. And earlier it took 2 hours to clear all that equipment through customs at 1 AM in the morning at Dubai airport!

Pamela Anderson

You have said that photography is 90% personality and 10% photography. What do you mean?

For me it is. I’m not blowing my own trumpet but I feel I have a very good personality and can really converse with people whatever they are, homeless individuals or kings and queens. Sometimes I have a DJ on set to get a great atmosphere going and relax everybody.

I know a lot of creative directors who work with photographers who won’t say anything during a shoot. They will let the creative director direct and they will just press the button. Now I can’t do that, as I like to be in control of how the shot is going to look. Working with the creative director is very important but once the creative director starts talking they lose respect for the photographer because the photographer is letting someone else take control of the shoot.

I like to speak to the celebrity and tell them what we are trying to achieve. I will let them come and look at the monitor to review the images because most of them are very insecure. They are great in front of the motion camera but when they get in front of the still camera, there’s not too many of them comfortable to be there. So I try to make it fun for them to be there and get them in and out of the studio or location as quickly as possible and do what’s needed and not overshoot.

National Guard

You have said that you would like to shoot Nicole Kidman in Antarctica. Why Antarctica?

I love shooting in offbeat places. Celebrities are always shot in the studio or their beautiful homes, but rarely in great locations. If you look at the great photographs of movie stars from the 50s and 60s, there’s a jazz photographer called William Claxton. He did great images of Steve McQueen in various situations and you just don’t see those kinds of images anymore.

The pictures that are shot now are very safe, very easy and just what the magazine wants. I just think Nicole Kidman in Antarctica would be incredible, maybe fishing through a hole in the ice or something.

Jenny McCarthy

What attracts you about the photos of Stephen Klein and Peter Lindbergh?

Oh yeah, I love their stuff especially Klein’s work for Italian Vogue. I love the classic photographers, including Richard Avedon, Irving Penn and Patrick Demarchelier. I’ve got probably 350 photography books from pinhole to modern day. Film was tough to shoot on, mostly black-and-white film. Color is easy but when you shoot black-and-white, you got to know your tones to get a great image.

Gwyneth Paltrow

Your black-and-white portrait of Gwyneth Paltrow is high in contrast with the middle tones washed out. Do you like that kind of tonality?

My best medium is black-and-white. Back in the day, there used to be six grades of printing paper from 0 to 5. I would always print on grade 5 so that the blacks were black and the whites were white and there were no gray tones. I got all my black-and-white prints hanging up in my house and all of them are printed real contrasty: jet-black blacks and white whites, there are no mid tones or grays in them at all. That’s how I like my black and whites.

How did you get the assignment on the book China: The New Long March?

A book publisher in Australia asked me if I would shoot for the book on China. They work with Chinese photographers and I was the only photographer from outside China. It was about re-tracing Mao Zedong’s long march. I don’t exactly remember but this book was the 75th year of the Long March. Each photographer had a section of China to shoot and I was in Chengdu and went up to the snow mountain.

Barry Manilow

What’s on your bucket list?

I want to travel more. I want to go to different parts of the world. There is an Indian festival called Holi where all the colorful powder is thrown over everybody. I love to go off and do these adventurous things. Maybe photograph Queen Elizabeth II!

Would that make you nervous?

No, no. I got nervous with only Mandela because he’s one of the biggest icons in the world. That’s the only time in my career that I’ve ever been nervous. You have protocols to follow and how you address her and that’s a bit nerve-racking, but the photography side wouldn’t bother me at all and I’m sure I’d make her look beautiful.

John Hurt

How did you get Halle Barry to do that risqué pose for the magazine covers?

It might have been for the X-Men movie that she was in. She was known in America but not really in Europe. This was for the FHM (For Him Magazine) and I talked to her manager and said I want to shoot her naked because I want to create a stir. And that shot went on to 22 FHM covers around the world. And it helped her get recognized in Europe!

How do you get celebrities to trust you?

The press representatives usually know who the photographers are and so do the celebrities. It’s easier now with digital as they come and look at the monitor and see the picture the instant you click the camera. I always make sure that the first picture is a beautiful, beautiful image and straightaway you have them in your pocket and they trust you.

Lagoon Jewels

Should photographers have an agent?

I’ve never really had an agent in the past. My ex-wife used to run my business and when we split up, I did my own thing. I go from jump to jump by word of mouth. I took on, Joanna Flores as my agent recently.

The problem with agents is that photographers rely on them to get work. When I’m not working, I’m in my office with my staff looking for a job and what the next thing is to do. Right now I have reached out to Air New Zealand, cruise ships including P&O Cruises, Discover Ireland, Alaska Airlines, Visit Britain and something very dear to my heart The David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust in Kenya.

Doobie Brothers

Have you shot covers of magazines in the US?

I’ve done a couple of covers in America but the most of my covers when I used to shoot for them are European publications as they are more risqué. I can do nudes on the cover of German GQ and that’s acceptable. With the European magazines, they’re not so set in what they want whereas here if you shoot for Cosmopolitan, it has to be on a white background or a yellow background, the lighting has to be the same, etc. So every cover looks the same just that it has a different person. This is boring to me.

Linda Evangalista

How has celebrity photography changed in the last 35 years that you have been in it?

I think social media is hurting it a lot. The celebrities can now shoot their own pictures. If Ronaldo comes out with a new soccer boot and puts it up on his Facebook page, he gets 3 million hits or whatever! Social media has changed the way the celebrity thing works now which never used to be the case when I was actively shooting. Now with iPhones, it is more accessible for everybody. The paparazzi are videoing the celebrities and then it’s all over online.

Do you think still shooting will go away and everything will be on video?

No, there will always be a need for [still] photography in some sort.

Do you use social media to get work?

I’m not into social media. If you look at my Facebook page, I got about a thousand followers. I don’t really care about social media. I do it because my daughters ask me to. My office posts stuff. I’m not bothered about it. It doesn’t make or break me, and it doesn’t get me work. A lot of people rely on it to get work, but I don’t think it’s going to get me one job. I can use social media to say this is what I’ve recently done if you want to look at it.

Brush Company

Do you shoot selfies with celebrities?

No, never. I don’t have one picture of me with a celebrity. Not my scene. If a celebrity wants to do a picture with me, I do it. I don’t like having my pictures taken. I don’t think I look great in pictures.

Magazines are folding up, and in 10 years there might be very few left. How will that work for you?

In 10 years there won’t be any [printed] magazines. Everything will be online. I get 50 magazines delivered to me every month. It’s nice to flip through them, and you don’t get that same feeling when you do it online. I like to rip pages out and reference them, so I hope magazines never go away.

Jeff Gordon

So if you hadn’t made it as a photographer what would you have done?

A racecar driver! I don’t know, maybe because of the McLaren [British sports/racing car] name or whatever it was, but I always wanted to be a racing driver of some sort. That was my dream, and then I stumbled into photography by sheer chance. But I am a fanatical Formula 1 and motorsport fan and would have loved to be a racing driver.

Brooke Shields

You have been shooting for almost 40 years. Does the word retirement ever cross your mind?

No, not at all. I love the business too much. Every day I wake up I kick myself because I can’t believe I am in the business I am in. I get to travel the world extensively, and meet great people, from Nelson Mandela to Tina Turner to aborigines in Australia. I have an amazing life, and I am just a boy from London from a working-class family. You couldn’t even get these experiences if you are willing to pay for them. I feel I am blessed in life and it couldn’t be any better. Even now I get excited as every day you don’t know what you’re going to do next.

You can follow Richard McLaren and see more of his work on his website, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Vimeo.

About the author: Phil Mistry is a photographer and teacher based in Atlanta, GA. He started one of the first digital camera classes in New York City at International Center of Photography in the 90s. He was the director and teacher for Sony/Popular Photography magazine’s Digital Days Workshops. You can reach him via email here.

Go to Source Author: <a href="http://ift.tt/2rSvwoU Mistry</a> If you’d like us to remove any content please send us a message here CHECK OUT THE TOP SELLING CAMERAS!

The post An Interview with Photographer Richard McLaren appeared first on CameraFreaks.

August 04, 2017 at 10:02PM

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ozcobblehot-archive · 7 years

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btw i know u r thirsting to do the ask meme with charlie/oswald prolly

m-me? thirsting to talk about my oc/canon ship after years of not having any? nonsense! bullshit!

(u know me 2 well, damn)

Who is the most affectionate?they both are disgustingly affectionate

Big spoon/Little spoon?let’s just make it as Hetero as humanly possible

Most common argument?probably something about her not wanting him to wander around in broad daylight, because you know. he’s a wanted criminal.

Favorite non-sexual activity?excitedly talking shit about bruce wayne

Who is most likely to carry the other?Hetero vol. 2

What is their favorite feature of their partner’s?She likes the fact he seems honest in his feelings. He likes her happy-go-lucky careless attitude, even if it makes him crazy at times.

What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?she gets like 11 breakdowns at once, because she promised herself to never ever fall in love again. his life doesn’t change much, because for him there is no sudden revelation.

Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate?NOOT NOOT because she used to watch pingu as a kid and lady mouthful. he can’t just get over the fact she said HIS name is a mouthful.

Who worries the most?they both do

Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?he remembers she loves martinis. she remembers he has a thing for mild curry.

Who tops?depends!

Who initiates kisses?they both do. and whoever’s also in the room instantly goes “ugh”. (usually it’s misty or her wife. they can’t stand charlie and oz as a pair, even if they love them as individuals.)

Who reaches for the other’s hand first?charlie, much to her own surprise. she’s like that.

Who kisses the hardest?oz.

Who wakes up first?charlie!

Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?oz, he’s like that

Who says I love you first?in theory charlie verbalizes it in this exact way first, but in practice oz kind of already did it, with his dramatic entrance when she was in the bathroom.

Who leaves little notes in the other’s one lunch? (Bonus: what does it usually say?)they both do, given the chance. “don’t piss off maroni, he’s on the edge!”. “spit into bruce’s champagne from me”

Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first?charlie, during a girls’ night out

What do their family/friends think of their relationship?esme and misty instantly roll their eyes, because good LORD, now oswald will be unbearable. crane seems to be genuinely happy for them, so does eddie. maroni acts like he doesn’t care, but deep inside he’s relieved.

Who is more likely to start dancing with the other?oz

Who cooks more/who is better at cooking?charlie is a great cook, though oz has to very literally bribe her to do this.

Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines?they boty do

Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?they both do. sometimes they text instead. or give each other meaningful looks. or stare at each other till one of them cracks.

Who needs more assurance?charlie

What would be their theme song?that one about not remembering falling in love

Who would sing to their child back to sleep?assuming they’d even have one (kinda tricky, but also possible) probably charlie

What do they do when they’re away from each other?lots of texting. she totally live-texts every high society party she attends. “oooh, wayne is here. you didn’t tell me your childhood friend is so hot!”“no tf he’s not”“yeah, he looks so generic i almost thought his name’s chad. oooh, that lady over there wears the best dress-”

one headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heartwell for starters for a long time they are both sure it’s a one sided thing. she calls them “a series of one night stands” after like their 5th night together and is sure he’s only after her money. he thinks she only sees him as a friend-with-benefits kind of thing.

one headcanon about this OTP that mends itone month sal rents them his private villa in france. since they are both only known locally - oz is only wanted in gotham, and american high society (charlie) is only recognizable by americans - they give themself a shot at living in public. it turns out oz really hates french cheeses. GOD does he hate them.

#hollyknight #iv replies

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celticnoise · 7 years

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The name ‘Stevie Murray’ is one that will be familiar to generations of Celtic supporters, with not one but three players of that name being on the club’s books since the 1970s.

Stevie Murray mark IV, however, is not carving out a career as a classy midfielder in the green-and-white hoops, but is instead making his name in Celtic circles for his fine contribution to the club’s ever-expanding literary canon.

Having attended the launch of Kenny of the Celtic, Paul John Dykes subsequently took the opportunity to discuss all things Celtic with author Stephen Murray:

How did your love affair with Celtic begin?

“I can’t remember a time when I didn’t know about Celtic. As a wee boy I remember Celtic programmes, Celtic Views and newspapers being scattered around the house, and it just stemmed from there. My dad was a Celtic fan and I am an only child so the topic of conversation between us, from an early age, was almost always around Celtic and football in general.”

What are your earliest memories of watching Celtic?

“I was first taken around 1971-1972. The first game I can remember vividly was a 4-2 win against Hearts in November 1972 at Parkhead when Hearts wore an unusual Ajax-style strip. The new main stand had just been completed and it was a great view for youngsters from there in those early days.”

What types of Celtic songs (that have perhaps been lost to the depths of time) can you remember from the terraces back then?

“Almost all the players had their own unique individual songs that the fans sang to them, such as ‘Jimmy Johnstone on the wing.’ The one I remember best was the Harry Hood song to the tune of the Robin Hood TV theme: ‘Harry Hood, Harry Hood, running through the glen. Harry Hood, Harry Hood, with his Fenian men. Feared by the bad, loved by the good – Harry Hood! Harry Hood! Harry Hood!'”

Which elements (if any) do you miss most about the football of your youth?

“I miss being able to move around the ground. There was no strict segregation at Parkhead (apart from Rangers games) until 1985. My dad used to lift me in to the Rangers’ end for the first half of the game and then we’d walk through the Jungle at half time. Traditionally, Celtic always shoot into the Celtic end in the second half so we’d then watch the second half at the Celtic end.”

How did you find out that Kenny Dalglish had left Celtic in 1977 and how did this make you feel?

“We were just back from a family holiday in Majorca so it was still the school holidays. There was some talk in the papers but Celtic were in a strong bargaining position as freedom of contract had not come in yet (that was a few years off) and a player could only leave if their club agreed to sell them.

My dad always bought a paper before work, and one morning he woke me up to show me that Kenny had signed for Liverpool. We were both devastated and I think he just woke me up to share his grief with someone before he went to work. It took me a long time to come to terms with Kenny leaving. Many fans felt a sense of betrayal. Dalglish’s departure made me feel far worse than losing any game I’ve ever experienced in all my days supporting Celtic. And the success he enjoyed at Liverpool only served to rub salt in the wound.”

What was your reaction to Jock Stein leaving, and was Billy McNeill the only man to replace him?

“For the first 12 years of my life Jock Stein was Celtic manager, so it was a very strange feeling when he departed in 1978. For the older guys, from my dad’s era, they were bitterly disappointed as they had worshipped the big man. By this time Billy McNeill had made an impression at Aberdeen and there was really only one man to take over, and that was Billy.

Interestingly, I had an uncle who swore that Bertie Auld would have been a better bet. Bertie had Partick Thistle high up in the top league at that time with very meagre resources. My uncle always maintained Bertie would have been a great Celtic manager on a tactical level. Records show that three men were considered – Billy, Bertie and Pat Crerand – with Billy getting the nod. It’s funny to think that Billy was only Celtic’s fifth manager in 90 years in 1978.”

How special was the 1978-79 season, and what were the pivotal factors in the run that culminated in ten men winning the league?

“I was in first year at school and would describe it as the best time of my young life. The thing that saved Celtic that year was the weather. There was ice and snow on a huge scale and Celtic did not play a league game between 23rd December and 3rd March – ten long weeks. At one point we were seventh in a ten-team league, although we had a load of games in hand. We were able to recharge the batteries during that break and from March onwards we went on a great run.

Another factor was that the league was very competitive – everyone was capable of beating each other. Celtic, Rangers, Aberdeen, Dundee United and St Mirren all had spells on top of the league at different times. United were actually big favourites until they lost to Rangers and Celtic in successive weeks in late April.”

What were your Celtic-supporting highlights of the 1980s?

“My two favourite memories are the 1981 and 1982 league title wins. Billy McNeill had built a hugely entertaining team by that point and they were never really given the credit they should have got. They played a great brand of attacking football every week and sometimes that was their undoing, particularly in Europe.

But they were brilliant to watch. Provan, Burns, McGarvey, MacLeod, Nicholas, McCluskey, every one a class act, playing at his peak. Unfortunately, Billy McNeill’s departure in 1983 was a real blow and that team then broke up.”

What were the main reasons that Celtic failed to capitalise on the sensational centenary season?

“Lack of ambition and lack of investment. The board of directors at that time were not bad guys but they were severely out of their depth as businessmen. Rangers stole a march on us financially and we were unable (or unwilling) to compete with them. We lost a lot of experienced players like McAvennie, Aitken, Burns, McGhee, McCarthy and Stark in a very short period and just couldn’t replace them. After that the club became rudderless and totally lacked leadership.”

How difficult was it to be a supporter in the pre-McCann years, and what has been your most memorable experience as a Celtic fan since?

“On a personal level I was the treasurer of the Govan Emerald CSC from August 1989 to May 1997 and we won one paltry trophy during those eight seasons. It was heartbreaking. My only comfort is that the Emerald survived and is still on the road until this day.

My dad used to compare those days with the early ’60s but at least back then the likes of Dundee and Kilmarnock won the league and broke up any Rangers domination. But by the ’90s it was Rangers all the way with all the media fanfare which came with it. My most memorable moment as a fan in the new era would have to be beating St Johnstone in 1998 to win the league.

Forget about 10-in-a-row, we had to win that one just for ourselves.”

How did you become involved in Celtic Underground, and what prompted you to create your first podcast?

“I got in touch with Harry Brady and Eddie Pearson who were the main men on the CU site (and still are). In the beginning, I just wrote articles surrounding old photos etc. When I started my research for the Ten Men book I made a point of interviewing the likes of Davie Provan, Mike Conroy and Andy Lynch for a podcast about their careers, as I thought it would be interesting, and it just went from there.”

How many interviews have you contributed to the CU podcast, and which have been your personal highlights?

“There must be over 30, which I have done on my own. They have been with ex-Celtic players, media personalities and fans, such as guys who have written books and need a bit of publicity with it. From memory my favourite ones were Provan, Conroy, Pat Stanton, Joe Craig and Frank McGarvey.

I haven’t met one ex-Celt I have been disappointed in. They are all very proud of their Celtic careers and are down-to-earth, decent guys. From the media, Graham Spiers and Jim Spence were terrific, genuine football fans with loads of personality. I would also recommend the recent one with Bernard Ponsonby from STV.”

Your writing progressed on to the pages of the Celtic programme. How did this opportunity arise, and did it encourage you to embark on writing your first book?

“I always bought a programme but a few years back I thought that there wasn’t a great deal of reading in it. I contacted Paul Cuddihy and wrote a couple of wee pieces and it snowballed from there. Each season I do a weekly series such as ‘His Greatest Game’ and ‘Debut Days’. This season it’s ‘Unsung Heroes’.”

What prompted you to write your first Celtic book? How long had you planned to work on the project? How did you approach the research, writing, and publishing process?

“I had longed for someone to write a book about the 4-2 game in 1979. I was toying with the idea of doing it myself when I met Tom Campbell at John Doyle’s grave at Kilmarnock on the day of the tremendous 3-3 draw at Rugby Park in October 2011. I asked Tom if he was working on anything and he said was doing something on the 4-2 game, so I was rather crestfallen and I lost interest.

Around a year passed and there was nothing more from Tom, so my wife encouraged me to do my own book for my own satisfaction, which I found to be a very enjoyable experience. I was very lucky to get Davie Provan and Mike Conroy on board early as they had really clear recollections of what had gone on that season. I wasn’t confident enough to find a publisher so self publishing on Amazon was my way to go and it all went fairly well.”

Danny McGrain attended the launch at Celtic Park. How did it feel to work with Danny on this story and do you feel that it’s about time another book was written on him?

“I was really nervous phoning Danny and I then met him in the Glynhill Hotel in Renfrew. He was an absolute gentleman and I thought he couldn’t go up any further in my estimation but he did. He is a very modest man.

Danny missed the first half of the 1978/79 season when Celtic were desperately poor. After his return we won 14 out of 18 games which was the launchpad to that famous ‘4-2′ league title victory. Danny tried to claim that was just a coincidence and that ‘the boys would have won it anyway.’ No way was that a coincidence, his very presence in the side motivated both the other players and the supporters. There have been two books about Danny, one in 1978 and another one in 1987. I know that he wasn’t particularly impressed with either one so there’s definitely another book in him.”

Are there any other ex-players out there whose story you’d be interested in working on?

“That’s a hard one. Most of the biggies have now been done. The hard thing about writing a book is to try and find something that hasn’t been written about before now. There are so many high quality Celtic books out there so it’s getting harder to find a different niche to write about.”

If you were to name a Celtic team made up of the finest players you have witnessed, who would make your greatest XI?

“I won’t include any Lisbon Lions as I never really saw them at their peak. 4-4-2 formation:

Boruc; McGrain, Mjallby, Aitken, Boyd; Provan, McStay, MacLeod, Moravcik, Larsson, Dalglish.”

What prompted you to write a book on Kenny Dalglish?

“The reasons I wrote the book were twofold. Firstly, there had been a number of books published on his career and very little space was dedicated to the Celtic years. He was there for ten seasons and an awful lot happened during that time, so this deserved to be looked at in greater detail.

The second reason is that a new generation of fans did not appreciate that Kenny was a notable player at Celtic long before he joined Liverpool. So in some ways I was keen to ‘claim’ him back.

“The book does three things. It tells of Kenny’s Celtic career in full detail but also catalogues the Celtic success years of 1967-1977. The last thing the book does is to note lots of stories and humourous anecdotes from the Celtic supporters of that era.”

Were you tempted to speak to Kenny during the research process? Has he been in touch to offer you any feedback?

“I didn’t want to contact Kenny beacuse I didn’t want to be compromised in any way. Not that that would have been a problem because it’s a totally affectionate recollection of his Celtic days. After the book was published I sent him a copy with a personal messsage. I’ve not heard anything since but that doesn’t surprise me as he is a very private individual who obviously guards his privacy dearly, which is fine.

I’m happy I did it as there are are a lot of guys (and females I discovered!) who still cherish Kenny’s memory in the hoops and think the world of him even to this day.”

What is your typical routine of watching Celtic these days?

“My son is 12 now and we sit in area 445. He plays football on Saturday mornings so there is always a mad rush to get him home, changed and out to Parkhead. I don’t get to as many away games as I would like and my heart goes out to the guys who travel away these days. When I was younger the games all kicked off at 3 p.m. on a Saturday, which was ideal and made it more of a social occasion. You could get a pint or two before and after and still have the best part of Saturday evening to enjoy. These days it’s easy to lose track each weekend as to what day and actual time that Celtic are playing.”

In all your years of watching Celtic, how does the current manager and team compare?

“This team and current managerial set-up is right up there with any Celtic team I’ve seen. Players such as Sinclair, Dembele, Tierney and Griffiths are as good as I’ve witnessed and play at a very high level. When you add Šimunović, Brown, Gordon, Forrest, Armstrong, Roberts and Rogic then that’s some group. The hope now is that we will kick on this summer and get the two or three quality players we need to get us to the next level.”

Where can supporters get their copy of Kenny of the Celtic?

It is available online from cqnbookstore.com and you can get it in all the Celtic stores and also at selected Waterstones stores.

http://ift.tt/2nGm6vv

#CelticNoise #Celtic #CelticFC #CelticQuickNews

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