#everyday hating me more

[blxck-graveyard]

#everyday hating me more #spotify #acid bath #sludge metal

[autiacorart]

i was asked to give connor this and here we are

#dbh connor #dbh #detroit become human #hank anderson #i'm sorry i can't draw hot men but i'm trying rly rly #thanks for the idea more excuses to draw connor #i freaking love bryan's face he's so pretty and yet so like regular looking idk how to explain but he's so pretty #but also looking like a regular guy you could meet everyday #i have no idea how to draw him i tried many times and he's impossible #idk i hate pretty men they make me feel things bc what are you pretty for #lol

[can-of-slorgs]

caw 🦅

#neopets #neotag #neoart #eyrie #mutant #vin doods #I can't beat the allegations that i doodle dnd creatures on a daily with this one huh #god i love mutants eyries so much i'm sorry i gavehim more draconic features but uGH; #what great colours lmao #I also gave inverted knees to the hooves cause i aint doing whatever neos doing #can you tell i have a thing for dnd and dragons in general im so sorry JAKLSDF #also in topic i've been so wanting to make a neo player's manual for so stupidly long its insane #might actually do it at one point #i had species and proficiencies and everything at one point i think its all gone lol #also for a fact that i'd be a me-thing for the most part #like i'd be the only one wanting it or playing according to it #my other friends none like neopets so yeah #god do i want to dm a neopian adventure i have tons planned lmao #but oh well #i'm super greatful for all positive commenta ad every like and reblog you guys ave given meeeee #i sound like a broken record but i swear i try to not leave this blog for long but i always read your tags and crack up to them sajhas #i know i've left a couple of you on read that actually wanted to know about my characters BUT IM SO SORRYYYY #my master's taking so long and everytime there's something new and have to rewrite and replan everthing everyday i hate it here #but i will do it #i know i will #both the lore writting and my thesis HASJKHASJS #anyways if you're still reading dont be afraid to shoot up a couple of messages! It might make this blog less dead

[hoaxghost]

this month has sucked ass for my creative output. idk everything sucks ass lately just imagine im posting something real funny

#ugh sigh. i dunno i just miss drawing and i hate seeing how little ive done in a month proper #like its halloween and ive done jack shit again #accomplished.....nothiiiinnngggg #hoaxghost rambles #sorry to get sad on sideblog its hard not to act miserable when youre feeling it everyday #id rather have people yell at me to draw more than people telling me to take a break

[mugentakeda]

why do u hate iroh pls tell me

I DONT HATE IROH AT ALL!!!! in fact the exact opposite. hes like in my top 5 atla faves. among one of my fav characters in anything ever really. but the thing is . i like him FOR HIS FLAWS.... i love flawed characters. the atla fandoms opinion of iroh is sooo black and white ive noticed like u either hate his guts or love him blindly. which how other people perceive him is srsly none of my business like you can hate or love that fictional old guy as much as u want til the cows come home irdgaf. it is not that deep to me. but idk i feel like all his hypocrisies and discrepancies and inconsistencies and 500 mental illnesses are what make him so great... like if he was literally Just the wise old uncle guy without The Horrors he wouldnt be HALF as dear to me. people that have Very complicated relationships with their Very complicated parents enjoy iroh in a different and far more epic way than how everyone else does

#plus im pretty sure ive drawn him more than ive drawn literally any other atla character #and i made a long ass textpost from his pov literally this morning #like im obsessed with that old fuck trust me i love him its just that he also sucks. So bad. hes the worst #and hes also more special cus how often do u get such deeply flawed characters that are irohs age? #its always some moody 20 something anime dude. Never the shitty old man #IDKKKKK but this isnt an iroh hate blog i promise. well it is kinda but only ironically #this is the iroh saw trap blog. where i put him in torture labyrinths everyday for my personal entertainment. #asks

[girluimfailing]

WE COULDA HAD THEATRE KID DAMIAN WAYNE BUT YALL HAD TO GO MAKE HIM A FOOTBALLER SMH.........

#WILLIAMSON WHEN I CATCH YOU #WHYYYYY JUST WHY MAKE HIM A BASIC WHITE BOY #THE DUDEBRO READERS AREN'T GONNA LIKE HIM #IT WOULDA BEEN SO MUCH MORE AWESOME IF HE PICKED UP THEATRE AGAIN #WHY FOOTBALL??? WHY??? #What is his obsession with making damian have the most basic high school story ever like..... #oh noo hes getting bullied 😥by a blonde kid who looks exactly like him 😥 #I hate his new hair too I HATE IT I HATE IT #IT LOOKS LIKE TIM AUUGH #and let me tell you smth it was a CONCIOUS decision to make him significantly pale in the new coic #cuz in the previous ones he had his melanin #like why?? it just seems like its done to taunt #damian wayne #jorge corona damian i miss you mor everyday...

[zebratimw]

#svsss #scum villains self saving system #shang qinghua #how I be feeling these days ahdnfjgkg #I keep stressing about life in general and its seriously bumming me out hajdjg #how nice it would be to not exist #everyday I wake up and do the same things I hate #time hasn't felt real in years and it goes way before covid times #I haven't felt real in most of those years either #Look I'm lucky I'm not like depressed or whatever but frankly this derealization shit is seriously startin to get a little worrying at times #tbf I only really notice it recently so maybe its just a bias #I've been chugging along this way for years all thats changed is my perception of it #but at the same time I really want to do more too #I get I'm a very boring and unreliable person #and I know I just said its my perception of it but like I do genuinely think my social skills my general living just like me mentally ig #I'm kinda deteriorating in my stagnation ig? artistically too but more worrying in my life idbfjg #priorities sorry anyways I also think I do have adhd or something and that rejection thing dhfjgjg I really can't start things anymore #idk I really just feel so clueless in most things now and I'm too scared or too confused or both to start fixing things #like how do I even fix things? what do I even search for in this kind of thing? #Idk I'm just gonna go sleep ig god I'm so tired of everything #I haven't been able to draw I've really lost passion for a lot of things again and everything irritates me #I can't stand my phone sometimes but it's kinda the only thing getting me through it all ha #ngl I wish I were depressed sometimes if only so I'd actually have the balls to do smth but Ik that's just the Metnally Ail part speaking so #chug chug going along #I also have to make wushi before I die. haha #god my life is so empty #what am I even doing #I'm really so tired why can't my life end here already? modern lifespans are too long how am I supposed to keep going on like this? #so pointless and vapid and its just me ? why did it have to be me that was born? couldn't someone else have been here I hate it here so much #I strive for nothing but I have such a long life and so many people to disappoint haha maybe I should go outside more

[theproblemcallednight]

guitar+rimlaine

my two favourite sources of pain

#someone yell at me to practice #i need to #idk if this gets more than 300 notes ill practice everyday or smth like that #by march #anyways rimlaine #my beloveds #i hate them sm #bsd #rimlaine #bsd verlaine #bsd rimbaud #bungou stray dogs #night does art #god i haven't done art in ages huh #prob won't doo it for a while either tho #school has me by the neck and not in a good way

[deliicacymercy]

HUMANFORMER! Slashmark ✨  

🏳️‍🌈  ✨    iT’S not PRIDE MONTH anymore! BUT THAT WON'T STOP ME FROM DRAWING GAY STUNTICONS! ✨🏳️‍🌈  

#humanformers #tfrid #tfrid2015 #slashmark #my art #LISTEN #HIM AND HIS HUSBAND HAVE TO LOOK THE KINKIEST #also drip #i love him sm #stunticons #LISTEN- #i hate how it took me so long on him #but i wanted him to be PERFECT #LOL motormaster is next #and he will look basic asf #also peep the wedding rings #i made sure him and heatseeker had a matching set uwu #everyday im so mad at tfrid for not giving me more than 2 minutes of this character #DAVID KAYE IS HIS VOICE ACTOR #AND HE CALLS EVERYONE NINCOMBOTS #WHAT A MAN

[dracononite]

I want to not watermark my art so heavily and to not have to worry about the possibility of character or art theft. I want to post messy sketches and personal art with interesting palettes and compositions that I put real passion into instead of keeping it locked behind a patreon membership as an extra incentive to support me. I wanna do all my art for the self expression and the fun of the process instead of money to buy groceries and pay rent and survive. I want to share that personal experience in a personal journal of an account without worrying about an audience or engagement or reeling in my next commission. I want to have a place to put the art that I really deeply care about and curate a space that's a love letter to art and creating.

#max talks #im just having thoughts abt habing art as a job #maybe I'll get a job in the future where i can afford to take a more hobbyist and personal direction with my art #this is not to say i hate my job. i dont! i love it #but i do wonder what art would be like for me if i didnt have to do it everyday for money

[soldier-poet-king]

The national anthem?? In MY mass right before the closing hymn??? I was about to hit da bricks but it's very cold and dark and my mother had the car keys and I had no where to go

But I am INCENSED

and ofc as soon as I bring my concerns up my family just laughs, my aunt's like haha okay I'm leaving, and everyone else is like 'oh no here Fran goes again' as if being concerned about the philosophical implications of introducing a nationalism thing into religion is wrong. Haha look Fran's on another righteous rant again. Haha how stupid and dumb and emotional she is for trying to have a discussion about this.

There is a CLEAR difference between having a remembrance day reflection in lieu of announcements, 'no greater love than to lay down one's life for a friend', swords to ploughshares, even I understand that not everyone is as wholly committed not non violence as I am, I can agree with that sort of remembrance in a religious context.

But the NATIONAL aspect?? The 'oh the sacrifice in service of OUR country' (vs. sacrifice in honour of our fellow human, of God, of The Good)??? Has absolutely NO place in the church, or in Christianity more broadly. We want to be traditional literalists??? Go read Paul, neither gentile or jew, etc etc. I will stop here because I am about to start reciting estraven's speech from the left hand of darkness but like I'm SO mad

I mean don't even get me started on the whole church militant, framing faith and religion as a conflict or battle for souls, the us vs them, instead of a collective endeavour, a struggle together toward the good, and against the potential for evil which exists in each of us. Don't get me started on how the knights of columbus and the squires is just fuckin masons for Catholics and a sexist (and racist) boys club and they have no business doing this shit anyway.

MOTHER I CRAVE VIOLENCE, nobody is as full of rage as people completely committed to all forms of non violence

#the duality of fran #i need a fuckin drink #gonna pour myself a glass of wine and scream #SWORDS TO PLOUGHSHARES #i was so mad and now my family is mocking me and im even more mad #everyday im like. the quakers/society of friends were right. i need to read more them and more 20th century radicals #SCREAMING. BITING. HATING #dont even get me started on just war doctrine. augustine square up my dude

[7hyein]

read tags ;--;

#soo ermmm im not that type of person who likes to say these stuff but errrrrt #i decided i might quit tumblr cuz it's kinda actually ruining my mental health a lil bit #and school is driving me crazy like there's so much work to do #and i have to take exams for 2 more weeks + i have online classes on saturday too 😨😨 #SIDE EYE #if I decided not to quit then I might take a LONG BREAK FROM TUMBLR ;--;;. #anyways I'm not gonna make new mbs tho #I'm gonna post my old drafts that I've made before instead #sorry if u guys don't like my new mbs . 🌚 #and what bothers me is that I mostly spend my time on tumblr instead of studying #🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚🌚 #and I might fail my exams cuz of that reason ;// #i DO not want to get yelled by my mom for failing 🔥🔥💯💯 #if i fail my moms gonna take away my phone n i don't hv access to my tumblr acc #ughhh i hate my school for giving me to do exams ffor 3 weeks straigjt #THIS SUCKS #ARGHJEHEHEBB #i study like everyday #i haven't got sleep for like 2 days cuz of the ugky goofy ahh exams #TMR EXAM WEEK CONTINUE AGAIN. 🌚🌚 #manifesting that I will pass ECONOMICS 💯💯🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 #PUKU PUKU POW POW RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 #AND IM GONNA START BEING IA #I'LL POST 5 OF MY OLD DRAFTS TMR MORNING. #and the fact taht i still HAVE to study during the time I get to school #SORRY FOR BAD ENGLISH UGHHH #I'M DEAD #Я МЕРТВ 🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯 #jumps off a cliff #🌚🌚🌚

[hissterical-nyaan]

Saying this for the 100th time here but some of you are so out of touch from reality when you make your "it's okay to be straight!!! It's okay to be a man!!!" posts like I get it there can be some context or exceptions to this but most of the times it's just people thinking straight people or men are somehow being oppressed cause the people they have oppressed for an eternity are speaking their truth loudly online now

And no, you don't get to take the defense that people feel bad about themselves when they read these things because the real world still fucking favours y'all. You don't have to sob in your bathroom for hours and hide your whole life away from your family from a young age. Y'all still don't care about queer kids, especially queer girls who never find any comfort anywhere except that small family they created online. I'll take you feeling bad any day over another girl feeling trapped in this society cause no matter what she does, she will always feel inferior or another queer person having to take their secret to their deathbed

Get a grip, touch some grass. You are not oppressed because a 16yr old said they hate men or made a joke about how being straight is actually awful. Y'all have said worse shit to us for centuries now. "Learn to take a joke :)"

#and yes I know some of these posts are in context of trans men which is totally fucking fine #i get that #I'm not talking about those posts #I just think y'all should maybe interact with real life people more #i really hate when people say ''oh hate is a two way street'' PLEASE #like some jokes by queer people or women will ever match up to what straight people and men do everyday to us #reminds me of that bs someone said about how its awful that queer people joke about straight people and how its a hate crime 💀💀 #yeah sure that joke totally compares to actual hate crimes against queer people

[cowboy-robooty]

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT. I AM NOT TRANS I AM A CIS MALE LORD PLEASE WHY DOES EVERYONE I MEET THINK IM TRANS

#im sorry i dont have the raw tboy swag guys okay #i have been talking to people more (online) and for some reason everyone who knows my tumblr also thinks im trans apparantly #I HAVE NEVER SPOKEN TO THESE PEOPLE EVER. LIKE THANK YOU FOR THINKING I EXUDE THAT SWAG BUT IM CISSSSSSSSSSSS #i shouldnt care but look im asian and have a hormone disorder so i experience aids every single day okay #im asian (people think i look 11 when im 18) i have a hormone disorder (fucked me up) and im in cali (liberalville) #combine all that shit together and you got people calling me she/her at walgreens or my evil classmate calling me a goddamn shota everyday #IM TIRED OF IT. I AM A CISMAN STOP MAKING ME EXPEREINCE TRANSPHOBIA WHEN IM NOT EVEN FUCKING TRANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #TRANS PEOPLE OBVS SHOULDNT EXPEREINCE THIS EITHER BUT IM LIKE GAW DAMN IM GETTING NERFED FOR HAVING TRAITS I DONT EVEN HAVE! #im actively pro trans because im normal and not a freak. BUT IM A CIS ALLY I DONT HAVE A PUSSY I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL JAPANESE PENIS!!!!!!!!!!!! #robooty just hates being called shit that hes not -_- got that autism iny blood

[slythernnn]

I’ll finally be fully blonde again in 2 days 🙌🏽

#I cannot stress how sick I am of my roots #I hate hate hate hateeee having dark hair so much #went to the gym today for the first time in months and my legs feel like jelly #gotta get in shape so I don’t get winded walking in the sand on the beach 🤣💀 #I think I need to start stretching or doing more yoga #I mean I definitely should be stretching everyday bc of my eds lol😅 #me #self #face #shut up rian

[natelia-aldelliz]

Guys... Listen I know I said I'd draw something for valentine's day but I had a bit of a rough week sooooo I'm just going to write it out instead, maybe I'll finish drawing it some day, maybe not. It's behind a show more because it's long.

(also there's talks about having sex but no actual sex, and like, general warnings about Ghost's backstory but it's very vague here).

Soap was hanging around outside, trying to bring himself to do something, anything. But the weather was nice for a February day, and the sun was out, and it was making him feel like a cat basking in the heat.

An arm wrapped itself around his shoulders, a huge body suddenly weighing on him. Ghost.

Soap hummed comfortably. This day was getting better by the minute. Any chill he might have felt from being outside in a tank top out of pure Scottish spite was instantly soothed.

Simon often times saw himself as a cold man, freezing to the touch, hidden behind a layer of ice. A proper little Elsa, Soap almost snorted out loud. The truth was that while yes, his fingers and toes' temperature was sometimes abysmal, especially in bed, the rest of him was the warmest place Johnny had ever been.

"I've got something for you in our room," Ghost whispered against his throat, making Soap shiver.

Simon had begun calling Soap's room theirs a few weeks ago and Johnny couldn't have enough of it. He was so in love it genuinely hurt sometimes to restrain himself from squeezing him to death.

"Is that so?" he purrs, knowing how Ghost likes that. If this day didn't end in sex he'd be very surprised. He'd long learned to recognize when Simon wanted sex and when he didn't, and the way he squeezed his pec in response to his voice was a very easy tell.

But then again Simon was way less subtle than he thought he was.

They made their way back to their room, and there it was, a repurposed shoebox, badly wrapped with cheap wrapping paper. Johnny couldn't be more excited, he had never received any gift from a significant other. To be fair he adored gifting but always felt awkward receiving.

But this was Simon. Something that Simon had chosen to give him.

He sat on the bed, leaving enough space behind him for Ghost to sit there so he could use him as a very comfortable backrest. When he did, he grabbed the gift and began opening it.

He knew that Ghost liked to tear the wrapping paper, liked the sound of it and liked tearing it into the smallest pieces possible after, but he himself loved carefully unwrapping it and folding it flat so he could later maybe do an origami with it or put a piece in his journal. Probably both.

This one was full of tape but he still very much enjoyed himself, considered it a challenge. He enjoyed the chase, wanted to drag it on. Ghost huffed impatiently behind him, a bit tense, probably nervous.

Inside the box was a weird old fashioned clunky thing. It was bright red, looked slightly like binoculars, definitely from the 70's, with a wheel of tiny pictures wedged in the top of it. Memories hit him all at once.

"Oh my god ah remember, my Ma had one of these when ah was a child! My sister and I loved it, it had pretty landscapes in!"

He put it against his eyes, excited to see what this one came with. At his biggest surprise, it was a picture of them. Simon had customised it.

The picture showed the back of himself a bit further away from the camera, pointing at something while in full gear, in a dilapidated town, Ghost's face in the foreground looking at the camera. It looked like Soap was talking to someone, but that person was cut by the framing.

"Wait, ah remember that mission, it's when ah saved Gaz from a landmine just to be shot seconds later," he laughed. "ah spent two fucking weeks in the hospital, ah was miserable. Ye kept joking ah should hiv left Gaz explode while staring at him, he was convinced ye actually wanted him dead!"

Then the next picture was indeed him in his hospital bed, unconscious but the state of his injuries told him he was probably just sleeping at least a few days after his admission, his life no longer in danger. In this one, Ghost was sleeping too, head in his elbow near Soap's head and his other hand holding Soap's hand.

"Who took this one?" Soap asked, moved by the tenderness of Ghost's hold on him in the picture. It would have been right after Johnny had admitted to maybe liking him more than friends, before they were officially dating.

"The hospital one?"

Soap hummed.

"Price did. Said it was for blackmail. Should have seen him, he looked like his child had just married the person of their dreams and had ridden off into a rainbow on a unicorn or some shit. Old man's sentimental as fuck, but I didn't call him on his bullshit, he's already old, that's punishment enough."

Soap giggled in response. The next few pictures were all of them together but each time he was either turning his back or asleep.

"Why the fuck am ah never looking at the camera?" he whined. He wanted some cute couple pictures, dammit!

"Couldn't have you suspecting what I was planning," Simon said, kissing his shoulder soothingly. Only then Soap noticed that he had taken his mask off at some point and turned to ask for a proper kiss, which he immediately got.

"Keep going, there's more pictures," Simon whispered against his lips when he tried to turn around to kiss him some more. His pouting only got him a smirk in response, so he got comfortable again and brought the slide viewer back against his eyes.

He was happy he did. The next picture waiting for him was just Simon in the mirror, almost in full gear, but with one gloveless hand dragging his trousers down so the camera could see the bottom of his stomach, follow along his happy trail and reaching the very top of his pubic hair. The picture cut of his head, but he could see that his mouth was uncovered and he was holding the glove with his teeth.

Soap groaned. "Steaming Jesus, love, you're so hot."

He felt Simon hide his face in the back of his neck, warmer than usual, and chuckled a bit. He loved him so fucking much.

There were four more pictures of Simon, in various suggestive poses and states of undress, some almost showing his cock but never quite committing, making Johnny feel like he was being teased.

He was getting hard though and so ready to be done with the pictures and access the real thing. But Simon was still tense behind him. In fact, he had only gotten tenser and tenser with each click.

Soap was unsure why. They never had a problem with their sexual life, Simon had already changed his mind about having sex after starting and Soap had absolutely no problem with that, was glad to hug him instead and reassure him when he had tried to apologize.

Simon knew that there was no pressure, ever, to have sex. Hell, Johnny would still be happy even if Simon decided that he never wanted to have sex again, and he had made sure to make Simon understand that.

Then he got to the last picture and immediately understood.

It wasn't a picture of either of them, just a little bit of paper, with a few words written in Ghost's awful handwriting.

Just a few words that made Johnny drop the viewer on the covers and turn around to grab Simon's face, worriedly looking in his eyes.

"Are you sure?" he asked, looking for any trace of Simon forcing himself. "Baby, ah'm happy to bottom for the rest of mah life, there's no pressure, okay?"

Simon looked at him with warmth in his eyes and his cheeks completely red, a wrapping bow added on top of his head. "I know," he said simply. "I just want to. I don't want to be haunted by memories anymore. I used to like it, and I want to like it again. With you. Just.... Be gentle, okay?"

Johnny kissed his forehead. "Ah dinnae think ah ken how no tae be gentle with ye, love."

#cod mw2 #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #ghostsoap #soapghost #listen i'm sure there are romantic people somewhere who think it's valentine's day everyday so how late can that be #to be fair i am terrible at deadlines i don't know why i keep giving them to myself cause i soon as i do i know i'm never doing the thing #i've also burnt out my drawing capacities for now so probably expect more writing than drawing for a bit while my poor tiny brain recovers #if anyone is wondering yes soap forgot it was valentine's day #not because he forgot about it - he just forgot to track the days and didn't know they were the 14th he had a gift ready tho #he got ghost a chocolate tablet that ghost had once complained about not being able to find anymore that's actually just me complaining irl #that my supermarket doesn't seem to have white chocolate tablets with puffed rice inside like they did when i was a child #i have no idea how that applies to anywhere else lmao maybe other supermarkets have them but i hate going to supermarkets i don't know #anyway lmao sorry my love language is ranting #soap doesn't generally like receiving gifts because he feels like he doesn't deserve them like he didn't have to work for them #and so he feels guilty when he gets one but he hasn't told anyone about that #he was happy there but if ghost gives him ''too many'' gifts he's gonna start feeling bad bc he has just as much issues as everyone else #just hides them better