#ew david mug
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Snippet Sunday
I was tagged by @treluna4 @alysiswriting and @stereopticons 😘 This is something that’s been twirling in my brain. No guarantees it’ll go beyond this but here goes…
“‘Lexis!” Twyla bolts up in bed, orienting herself to the room lit only by a patch of moonlight. She reaches to the other half of the bed, grasping at air, and it takes her a moment to realize — to remember — she’s alone because Alexis is away. This always happens the first night, but she still isn’t used to it, even after three years of marriage.
Twyla’s breathing evens out and her heart stops pounding against her ribcage long enough to recall specific details. Alexis is traveling for Interflix until Thursday and her flight arrives at Gate B at 9:37 pm. Thursday morning, just before she opens the cafe, Twyla will text Alexis in a final attempt to let her pick Alexis up at the airport rather than take a rideshare. Alexis will immediately text back ‘Thanks, babe. I’ll be fine 😘’. Twyla will shake her head and roll her eyes in faux exasperation. Love you, too.
The clock tells her it’s 4 am – too late to fall back asleep and too early to get up for the day. She throws back the covers, sitting up and sliding her feet into the shearling-lined slippers David and Patrick gave her last Christmas.
She walks downstairs to the kitchen for tea, the wood flooring creaking a little with each step. They’ve talked about replacing it with something more modern, but Alexis always relents to Twyla’s insistence that silencing the floor will make the house lose its personality. (And because Twyla won’t be able to tell where the active spirits are.)
The kettle whistles, softly at first, building to a crescendo and spitting out steam until Twyla turns off the burner. She pours the boiling water into her favorite sunflower mug, adds a sachet of lavender tea and flips the tea timer. Is Alexis awake? I hope she’s getting enough rest. Did she remember to pack her sleep mask? Is Seattle nice? Maybe we can tour the northwest next summer. Or would New England in the Fall be better?
A text notification pulls Twyla from her thoughts. She smiles when she sees it’s Alexis, and giggles when she opens the message.
Soooo many meetings today I can’t even see straight. Already can’t wait to get home.
Another message comes through almost immediately. Wait, why are you awake? You’re supposed to be sprawling across our bed for another 40 minutes.
Who’s to say I’m not sprawling? Twyla sends back. Actually I only wish I was. I woke up for no reason and couldn’t go back. Having some tea.
Twyla’s phone immediately rings with a FaceTime request.
“Hey, Lex,” she says softly. “Shouldn’t you be going to bed?”
“I’d much rather talk to you. How was your day, babe?”
Twyla tells her about George almost spilling a pot full of soup all over the kitchen. How Kelsey is really getting the hang of waitressing and only got six orders mixed up.
“Oh, Roland and Jocelyn came in saying something about David’s bathroom being too small and getting thrown out of the Apothecary.”
Alexis grimaces. “Ew, ew, ewww. There’s not enough mind bleach in the world for that. Ugh, poor David.”
“Don’t worry. I slipped an extra chocolate muffin in with his lunch order. Tell me about Seattle.”
“I wish I could,” Alexis pouts. “I went straight from the airport to my hotel, had just enough time to get changed before I had to meet with the head of marketing at the office. Then it was basically non-stop until I texted you.”
“Alexis—”
“I know, I know. But I did have a smoothie and got a big salad for dinner.”
“You can take care of yourself, I know that. I just… worry.”
“And I love you all the more for it.” Alexis kisses the tip of her finger and presses it to the screen.
Twyla gives her a soft smile in return. She’s not ready to let her go yet, but Twyla also knows Morning Alexis will be irritable and grumpy if Night Alexis doesn’t get enough rest. “You should sleep, Lex.”
“I don’t want to, but I should. Talk tomorrow?”
“You mean later today?” Twyla teases.
“Mmmm,” Alexis sticks out her tongue. “Yeah, that. Goodnight, babe. Or good morning?” She laughs, covering her face with her hands. “Ugh, I’m so tired. Have a good day. I love you.”
“I love you, too. Sweet dreams.”
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the rest of my reaction to the rest of the episodes because i can’t be bothered to split them up
JIMS HOT CHOCOLATE JIMS MUG
she’s so cute im gonna cry
she’s so cute and they’re so like hdjshfjdbf
SHES SO SWEET
DONT HESITATE TO ASK ANY OTHER QUESTIONS YOU HAVE ABOUT LOVE INSPECTOR CONSTABLE
i feel so bad for nina :(
OH MY GOD HE JOURNALS
aziraphale fuckin writing in a journal kicking his legs like a teenage girl
aziraphale sweetie you’re so brainwashed
OH MY GOD HE MADE IT YELLOW
oooooo i love the bentley driving into the intro art that’s so cool
he’s so obsessed w the rain moment
im so obsessed w ziras diary it’s so funny
now zira that was petty and bad
zira NOOOOOO
oh poor zira he’s so sad
he’s so cute in his little detective costume
THE SKINNY LOWDOWN HES SO SOLLY
gimme the FACTS
well yeah mason hmmmm
im so worried about this girl i feel like this is going to end badly
they’re gonna die
i knew something would go wrong
rip those guys
NO SHE DIED??????? FUCK
he’s insane crowley insane
HES SO TINY
im small arent i
GIANR ROWLEY?????
where are you
GRINDR LMAO
the awning moment
ooooof
VERY CLOSED LOL
it’s always too late :((((
PH MY GOD IS HE IN THE HITCHHIKER
who is she
YOU DONT SEEM HIS TYPE ????? IM SORRY!?????
WHAT HAT WHAT I HEARD YOU AND CROWLEY WERE AN ITEM IM FUCKING SCREAMING
furfur WHO
OH MY GOS OH MY GOD OH MY GOD ITS LIKE I HOPED BUT I COULDNT LET MYSELF BELIEVE THEYD ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING SJFJSJCJJSKSZKJDJ OKAY WAIT OKAY IM NOT POSTING THIS UNTIL I FINISH IT NOW IN CASE IM WRONG LOL
Im sorry is it literally raining hearts when zira and crowley are sitting on the roof in the intro are u kidding me
NO WAY NO WAY NO WAY NO WAY NOT US GETTING 1941 RIGHT AFTER THEY YOURE AN ITEM COMMENT ARE U FUCKING KIDDING ME RN IM GONNA THROW UP
the music
who tf is that guy in the church how is he awake alive whatever
is he flirting is that flirting
oh thank you crowley is there anything i can do for you in return *bats eyelashes* LMAO
ooooo
SISSY TYPE
EW THAT TONGUE WAS SO UNNECESSARY
oh no not magic he’s so silly
nice exactly what nazis deserve
ZOMBIES????
no this poor old man also how did he not see them LMAO
That’s what …… f r i e n d s are for LMAOOOO
CROWLEYS OLD MAN IMPRESSION IS SO FUNNY
he’s so supportive look ziras so happy
SOMEONE YOU REALLY TRUST OH MY GOD
ZIRAS SO EXCITED AW oh rip the magic shop guy
im so scared for aziraphale oh god i don’t know if i can watch
he’s so baby
THE BEES KNEES
JIGGERY POKERY
OH NO MIRACLES BLOCKED OH FUCK
oh no
evidence envelope LMAO
im so nervous but i know it’s going to work H
he’s so whimsy
OH HE DID A MAGIC TRICK W THE PHOTO DIDNT HE
BRILLIANT AZIRAPHALE IF U DID WHAT I THINK U DID
Lmao get fucked nazis
YES ZIRA I KNEW IT
oh my god im gonna throw up
they’re so sweet
SHADES OF GREY
im so
CROWLEYS PET????
TJE BULLET HOLE STUCKERS THRE STICKERS
oh no are the demons gonna crash his night
HES GIVING AWAY BOOKS
NO WAY DAVID PUTTING ON THE FEZ I SEE YOU AS HE ALSO MENTIONED THE DR WHO BOOK ARE U KIDDING I FUCKIN SEE YOU
THE FEZ LMAOO
HER ARMOR LMAOOOO
this is so awkward lmao
OH FOFO FURFUR WHATEVER HIS MAME IS
Zira please stop speaking french
YOUVE BEEN TOGETHER LONG IM KILLING MTSELF IM THROWING UP
HES NOT MY BIT ON THE SIDE
other peoples love lives always seem more straightforward than our own AND HE WALKS AWAY HE DIDNT KNOW IM HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WAHHHH
Im losing my mind oh god the season finale is after this episode im going to throw up
WHAT IS THIS
SMITTEN IM SORRY ???
this isn’t going to end well
okay but the way they do the texts from Lindsey is so cool
my only friend
OH NO HES SO SAD
CROWLEY WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU
oh thank god
crowley OH ITS IN THE MATCHBOX
DO YOU WANT A HOT CHOCOLATE CROWLEY AWEWW IM GONNA DIE
Oh sweet girl
nobody would believe you anyway :( WAIT AND SEE LMAO
So beautiful
OH NO MAGGIE
A SEASMSTRESS
ZIRA U CANT FORCE PPL TO FEEL THINGS
he’s so worried :((( crowley
HES ASKING HIM TO DANCE ??????? IM SORRY ARE THEY GOING TO DANCE
jim :((( a
THE FUR COAT LMAO
TOSTE
oh rip the annoying guy LOL
i won’t leave you on your own maggie :(
BUT RESCUING ME MAKES HIM SO HAPPY????????? IM SORRY EXCUSE ME WHAT
YOU SAID BLAH BLAH BLAH
WHY IS CROWLEY GOING TO HEAVE THOUGH
LAST EPISODE IM GOING TO DIE
his little prance
MAGGIE NO
man that one demon can’t catch a break
HIS LITTLE HAPPY WALK LOL
crowleys emotional support angel
CROWLEY YOUR MEMORY
are gabriel and beelzebub going on dates these look like dates LMAO
SHE GAVE HIM THE FLY ????
WAIT ACTUALLY I DIDNT THINK I WAS RIGHT OH MY GOD
HES SUGGESTING ALPHA CENTURI FOR THEM AND ITS LIKE BUT THATS WHERE HE WAS GOING TO TAKE AZIRAPHALE
it’s a crime that gabriel and beelzebub are getting together before crowley and zira THEY DID IT FIRST
us time
he’s tidying up the shop :(((( and waiting for zira
im gonna throw up im gonna throw up oh no what is azira going to say what did matatrom say oh no
NO CROWLEY WAS ABOUT TO CONFESS IM GONNA THROW UP
oh no but he doesn’t want oh no
oh zira sweetie
NO IM GONNA THROW UP IM GONNA CRY
NO IM NO
im NO
THIS ISNT WHAT I MEANT WHEN I SAID MAKE THEM KISS WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WTH YOU THIS ISNT WGAT I MEANT THIS ISNT WHAT I MEANT IM GONNA THROW UP WHAT DO TOU MEAN IM GONNA FUCKINGDYE IM SOBBING ZIRA NOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOO ZIRA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE ZIRA NOOOOOOOOO
WHAT THE FUCK THIS ISNT WHAT I MEANT
how am i ever ever ever ever supposed to recover from this the way they both wanted the other to come with them but zira is too brainwashed by heaven still and it’s heart breaking and the way crowley kisses him because he thinks he’s never gonna have the chance now the NO NIGHTINGALE GALES we could have ben US zira being so heartbroken by the kiss I FORGIVE YOU don’t bother what if i eat my entire laptop right now
The way he tenderly touches his lips afterwards is Gut Wrenching and then he’s about to say he thinks he’s made a mistake and then you see him pack those feelings away in a box and shove them deep down and what if i died right now
#good omens spoilers#good omens 2 spoilers#im#neil gaiman#took me out back and shot me with that last scene#im so#HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO RECOVER IM SORRY#tw suicide joke#i say im gonna kms a lot but i mean it in a good way if that makes sense#yk how it is being deranged about media
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Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Ew David, 14oz Coffee Mug schitt’s Creek.
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Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Schitt's Creek Ew David oversized coffee mug.
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This Ew David Mug is great Coffee Mug to have if you are a fan of the TV Show Schitts Creek also makes a cool gift to a beloved one who is a fan of Schitts Creek.
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okay I still have last week's liveblog because my dumbass forgot to send it so here you go
Okay I wanna liveblog this chapter
I have a bag of candy and a giant lollipop next to me and Hamilton is playing
LET'S GOOO
okay the theme is obviously Pride
shinyun go away ew
shoo
sprinkles holy water
Asmodeus on his death bed hehehhehehehe
okay but love the "yo let's steal their canons" in the right-hand man
"your friend" ew ew ew
I LOVE LIN'S PART IN RIGHT-HAND MAN AFTER WASHINGTON IS LIKE "Bitch I need you to be my right-hand man" LOVE HIS PART SO MUCH
If he has to choose between Alec and Asmodeus, he will choose Alec every time.
I feel like this is like a foreshadowing for the future where he DOES choose Asmodeus
He didn’t know what safety feels like until he found himself in Alec’s arms.
🥺 😭
the hoodie 😭
Magnus will probably never find the strength to go back there.
oh…
I hope that if you ever do, it's with someone you love and you make so many good memories
LILY
"Tall" NO SHE IS TINY 😭
oo cool jacket
omg queer party yesss
can I join the party
Raphael being Raphael is just some top-grade shit
Magnus I don't mean to be that person but lyn would give you a lecture and a reality check on why you should not go to that party and study for your exam
shudders. been there.
AYY THEY'RE GOING TO THE PARTY
nice car
okay but alec, Magnus, lily and Raphael at a party together is such an interesting idea
if magnus bane showed up at my door holding a pride flag and dress like that I would simply not ask questions and just go with him
King George's songs in the musical are the best thing ever
oh that makes so much sense
Coming out doesn’t really mean you are completely free.
There are so many queer people, even the ones who are out and proud, who hide parts of themselves to make things easier.
Safer.
Yup
I have eaten too much candy
and I don't even like sweet things
I just unwrapped a giant lollipop
...
fuck you, Lyn I see it now...that sounds so wrong omg
okay back to tlnd
Because something tells him if he starts giving these things up for Alec, he won’t be able to stop.
BABE GOOD FOR YOU I SAY
HAVE FUN AT THE PARTY
middle
OMG ALEC TOOK MAGNUS TO INDONESIA
THEY DID GO THERE
YAYAYAYA
THAT MUG YESSSSSSSSS
RAFE'S OUTFIT OH WOW
max just wants to go there for universal studios i love him
“Can we give him back?”
“Unfortunately, he came with a non-refundable policy,” Alec replies.
glares at my brother
they all do don't they?
YOU DID IT, BABY
ooo his first pride since being elected?
"I look at bapak," Rafael replies. "I don't feel nervous when I look at him."
Omg yess
OMG YES MY BABY YOU GOO
For a long time, he had believed he isn’t allowed to want things like this.
Now he can.
Now he will make sure no one else will ever feel that way again.
I am love you
you did it omg I'm so proud
oh my god Magnus
I'm thirsting respectfully
HOLY SHIT HE'S SO FUCKING HOT I WANT HIM TO-
ahem
AYY THEY'RE GOING TO CHINA
rafe i love you but…why
political rallies are a mess
“This is why I tell you that we should have a daughter,” Alec tells Magnus. “Boys are annoying.”
You absolutely should
takes out alice from my pocket
i have one right here
hehehhehehehhe biter!alec
“It’s pride month,” Alec whispers, biting his earlobe. “It’s homophobic to stop kissing.”
SO TRUE
“Then go somewhere where you can’t,” Alec yells back. “This place has forty rooms!”
“Then get one, oh my god!”
max is so done omg
i wanna touch those arms and have them wrapped around my throat
IT'S THE EVE OF RAMADAN YOU THIRSTY HOE-
ahem im fine
“Just speak as you always do.” Magnus puts his hand on Alec’s chest. “Right from here.”
THEM
this is so amazing
Selena with her pride wings, Lexi is carrying a rainbow-themed sword for some reason, and David is wearing a rainbow crown.
DAMN WOW
GIDEON AND THOMAS
Dad…Dad wasn’t really a great man.
But he tried. He got better. He changed.
That made him a good man.
Sometimes that's enough
Sometimes the world needs more good people than great people.
yes
I don’t want to stand here and talk about all the things I wish to do to make our lives better. But there are things I want to do. Because we do deserve better. I want you to remember that. Every one of you here, deserve better. Not because you identify as queer. But because you are human. Remember when we fight, we are simply not fighting for love. We are fighting for our rights. I promise to fight for these rights as for long as I can.
DUDE-
SO MANY FEELS
LOVE THIS SO MUCG
Some ask for a kiss. Magnus shoos them away.
It was me. Who asked for a kiss.
HIS GROWTH THOUGH
MY BOY
And for once, Alec believes him without questioning it.
Because he did do good.
And he intends to keep doing it.
SO PROUD
The end
YAY PRIDE PARTY
I WANT MAX TO ORGANISE MY BIRTHDAY PARTIES
Okay I need to know more about the assassination
hmm…
OMG SELENA
THE CROP TOP YASS
“I don’t know,” Selena bites her lip. “Do you think it’s stupid? Dating someone you met online?”
I dated someone online once
and no it's not stupid
ALSO MICHAEL
FUCK NOOO
GABRIEL'S MOTHER
Max where the fuck did you go?
oo max-
“That’s weird,” Max pouts. “I’m of legal age to enroll in the military but I can’t smoke weed? Sounds fucked up, bro.”
that is very fucked up
OH SHIT
AGAIN????
WHAT WHAT WHAT
noice
me interested
I'm just eating candy here
oo, not the David card
Welp.
Hi.
Here.
Green shirt is David. Black is Max. White is Gabriel.
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To the Ottomas household! Last time - David moved out, Sharla grew up, Dora died, the twins were born, one was... different-
Samantha: Pop!
Oh, yes, and Samantha’s pregnant with Dora’s LTW 6th grandchild.
Samantha: Time to queue up number seven.
I don’t think it works like that.
Peter: We’re willing to give it a try. For science.
Greg: Bang, you’ve been repo’d!
Can you wait for me to finish makeovers first?
Tommy: No.
Can you wait for me to finish makeovers at least?
Samantha: I HAVE BEEN PREGNANT SINCE JULY 2012! I AM DONE WAITING!
It’s a girl! Meet Stacey Ottomas!
Over to Peter. Now Peter has the fun trait combo of Evil and Kleptomanic, which means he likes to spend all his free time mugging poor Sharla. I guess now I’ll get a proper chance to see how well the pickpocket mood check works!
Peter: I’m thinking a nice painting along this wall.
Sharla: Yes, fine, please let me go now.
Glen: Think we’ll see Grandma Dora any time soon?
Tommy: Nope! It’s me who’s the ghost now!
Greg: HAHA THAT’S HILARIOUS!
Peter: Catch me!
Samantha: Of course, my sweet!
I must say, of all the couples I thought would get the Evil trait, I did not expect it to be Peter and Samantha Ottomas.
Peter: Aw, that’s so sweet. Anyway, I’m gonna mug my daughter again.
Sharla: Try it and I will jam this paintbrush up your nose.
Tommy and Glen brought Georgia and Garret Newson home from school.
Georgia: BLEUGH!
Sharla: Kid, I’ve got five siblings too, you don’t scare me.
Greg also brought Tina Traveller home and this is officially Too Many Children.
Garret: When I grow up, I’m gonna become an astronaut!
Glen: Oh cool! If you meet aliens, can you ask them how I ended up with alien eyes?
Homework party.
Greg: Mom! You’re home! +2000
Samantha: Ew, human contact. -250
Glen: Maybe I should become an astronaut too.
Peter: Baby goes in bassinet!
Nerds.
Glen: A healthy interest in plumbing always comes in handy.
Samantha: A healthy interest in how to change fuses would be even more useful.
Introducing: The Amazing Floating Baby!
Peter: Baby goes in fridge.
BABY DOES NOT GO IN FRIDGE.
Peter: With the rest of the leftovers.
NO.
Aww, that’s sweet.
In fact, for an Evil Sim, Peter does enjoy spending time with his children and not robbing them. I suppose it helps that he can’t actually mug the younger ones.
Peter: And now for some more adult bonding.
Samantha: I know what bits I want bonding!
Probably not a good idea to spy on the other residents of Veronaville.
Sharla: Eh, my dad could use a new victim.
Like Vivian Cho perhaps?
Peter: I’m not stupid enough to mess with the cops.
Sharla: DAD!
Peter: It’s all right sweetie, it not a real robbery, it goes straight back in the household funds. Now if you were to get robbed for real, it’d go like this-
Peter: -And that’s how you find the radius.
The return of The Amazing Floating Baby!
Samantha: It stinks, I’m putting it back in the fridge.
Samantha: Just kidding. You’re too cute for that!
Samantha: With our genetics, you’d better enjoy it while it lasts.
I decided to let Sharla do a little shopping at J’Adore Bakery, mostly to check Gilbert still owned it.
Gilbert: This would probably be easier if I took my mittens off.
She wanted a swim, so I sent her to the gym where the want immediately rolled away in favour of soaking in the hot tub.
Sharla: I’m never going home again.
Game doesn’t work like that, sorry.
Tiny cute Glen spam.
And then it’s time for Stacey’s birthday!
Samantha: Actually I’m just gonna give this to Sharla.
Not too horrifying!
The shock of growing up made her immediately shit herself, so Sharla whisked her upstairs for a bath.
Stacey: Story now.
Sharla: You are aware I’m not your mom, right?
Time for an actual adult to take over.
Tiny cute Stacey spam.
You could look a little more excited about successfully potty training her.
Peter: It’s the sixth one I’ve trained. It’s just not that exciting any more.
Me running to tell my housemate about this: OK, so my Sim just brought another Sim home from school, but I guess I threw out her shirt during my Big CC Clearout...
Housemate: She’s topless, isn’t she?
Me: ...You’re not entirely wrong!
Gardener: *snips Gabriella in half*
What’s Tommy done to piss everyone off?
Glen: Interrupted cute hug time with his stupid birthday.
That’s right, it’s time for Tommy to grow up!
Tommy: I’m all grown up!
And making awful fashion choices!
Samantha: I guess we’d better get that elementary school homework out of the way.
So here’s teen Tommy. I let him keep a tropical shirt, but the camo trousers had to go.
Tommy: I would like money.
Tommy: I am willing to do anything to get it.
He doesn’t have any alien summoning perks, but I guess it can’t hurt (much) to try.
Tessa: So... has your brother seen this movie? Does he know exactly what’s going to happen to him if aliens do take him?
Forgot I had this thing. And by the time I remembered, Dora’s tomatoes had all died, oops.
Sharla brought Buck Grunt home from school.
Look, I just really like the hugs.
Stacey: HUG ME, DAMMIT.
Should you be doing that? I don’t think you should be doing that.
Glen: Right, like becoming a Plantsim would be the weirdest thing that’s happened to my genetics.
Oh, now Tommy’s a teen, his parental robbery immunity has worn off.
Peter: A flat screen TV. Right there.
Time for Stacey’s birthday again.
Stacey: Fingers!
Samantha: Wanna roleplay? I’ll be the teacher and you can be the hot college student who needs better grades.
Peter: Heck yes.
I can’t even kinkshame you because that’s canon gameplay.
Samantha: Time for your biology finals!
Peter: A+ or will you be satisfied with the D?
Yuck.
Let’s go look at some slightly more wholesome romance!
First kiss!
Oh, hi Dora!
Dora: I’d like to make a complaint about-
Sorry, can’t stop, Sharla’s going on a date.
Buck: I love a girl who can dislocate her entire arm to give me a backrub.
I hit Pause just as lightning struck and spent several seconds frantically spinning the camera until I realised what had happened.
Panic over.
Sharla: Can we get some food over here?
Whoops, seems like there’s no server assigned, so no.
There were random bowls of food on the top table though, so when the date ended, Sharla grabbed a bowl of chili and started chatting nukes with Jason Greenman.
Sharla: I just feel so much better now the man banned from MySpace now no longer has access to nuclear weapons as well.
Dora: YOU SOLD MY BED!
Sure did! It was clogging up the living room and there’s seven people in this house.
You’re not gonna find aliens like that.
Tommy: That’s fine, I changed my mind anyway.
Glen: He’s still here?
Greg: He’s still here.
Buck: I’m still here.
I don’t appear to have posted any pictures of madeover Stacey, so here she is in all her cute pink outerwear, skipping.
Nanny: Is that cake!? For breakfast!?
Yep, there’s been so many birthdays in the house, the only meal anyone cooked was for the (unpictured) headmaster visit.
Nanny: I must remedy this at once.
Decided to send the kids out to play.
Sharla: Sounds good to me!
These two nerds decided that meant playing chess.
Stacey: Wait, how am I supposed to do this without a ceiling to do the ceiling chess on?
Meanwhile, Glen plunders the community garden.
Sharla: And that’s how you stop Dad pickpocketing you.
Just hanging around.
Back home, I forgot to check Samantha’s aspiration and burned her brain out.
Samantha: How do word now?
Sharla: A little eggplant juice should fix that.
Samantha: I can feel my neurons knitting back together.
The entire household has been randomly rolling wants to chat with David all week, so I invited him over to hang out.
Samantha: Also here’s ten grand for after you graduate.
David: Oh wow, thanks!
David: So what are you kids into these days, toy planes?
Stacey: Don’t patronise us, we’re armed with darts.
Meanwhile, I decided to treat Peter and Samantha to a date at Londoste.
Peter: Classy place.
Peter: Let’s lower the tone.
Again? Really?
Samantha: Grinding ain’t gonna put another baby in me.
No please no more children, there isn’t space!
Plus you might wanna take better care of the ones you already have.
Glen: I’M GONNA JUMP IN THE CANAL!
DO NOT JUMP IN THE CANAL.
Glen: I like these bugs much better.
And the week ends with an ominous phone call.
UBERHOOD INDEX
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BLOGTOBER 10/28/2020: HOCUS POCUS (sigh)
I knew that I would not like this movie. I didn't see it as a kid, because we didn't have cable, but it's hard for me to imagine that it would have struck me positively. It's not that I was so sophisticated, but I liked my children's entertainment with a dash of darkness, or at least something challenging--especially if it was supposed to be somehow horror-adjacent. For me, things had to be at least on the level of LABYRINTH, with its various ambivalent creatures and monster sexuality in the person of David Bowie, or LEGEND, with its various ambivalent creatures and actually-monstrous sexuality in the person of Tim Curry, or...whatever other children's fare there is, that expects a little extra substance from its child audience, that's a little sexy and a little scary, and basically, at least kind of cool. And I'm not being a snob; you can say these same things about a lot of classic Disney movies. But in spite of its dual status as both a Disney- and cult classic, HOCUS POCUS is not at all cool. Just because it's such a Halloween thing for people, I figured I would watch it for Blogtober this year, and I have to say...I still don't get it.
I do not often feel my age, as my continued presence on Tumblr attests. There are just a few things that starkly separate me from my near-peers. One of them is Pokemon; when someone who seems like they're more or less my contemporary starts speaking in a personal way about Pokemon, I know that they're on the exact other side of some invisible dividing line in time. Another sign is enthusiasm for a certain stripe of Nickelodeon production, that mainly seems to feature a lot of shrill screaming and strobing lights and baby talk, in shows I didn't grow up with so I'll never understand what's good about them. It appears to me that HOCUS POCUS is part of the trend here: folks slightly younger than me, who saw it every October on the Disney Channel, seem to really get whatever the appeal of this is.
It is somehow telling that nearly every screencap I could find from this movie is just of these three standing in a row and filling the screen. Like it’s basically the entire visual character of the movie.
What "this" is, is a movie about a kid from LA (Omri Katz) who moves to Salem, Mass, just in time to unwittingly light a ceremonial candle on a Halloween full moon (which we are about to have BTW!), which brings the evil Sanderson Sisters back from the dead. These villains (not victims, VILLAINS) of Salem's witch hunt era can't understand really basic shit like whether plastic tubes are "snakes" or whether asphalt is black water or various other things that should be pretty visually obvious even if you're from the 1600s, but the truth is that it doesn't really matter what they think or feel, because they're just here to shriek and mug and jiggle around and do unwelcome musical numbers. At this point, I really have to apologize; I usually harness myself to the task of thoughtfully describing whatever movie I've assigned myself, no matter what I expect from it, but this was just really difficult.
Ew.
I've read that this movie was originally conceived as more of a kid-friendly horror movie, but it eventually morphed into something more satisfying to the Mouse. Various themes emerge and evaporate, expressing nothing. The "cool" LA native is actually a virgin, which is why his lighting the candle resurrects the witches, but instead of this triggering a coming of age narrative, it just becomes a reason to awkwardly repeat the word "virgin" over and over. Nothing in particular is contributed to our understanding of this character, and I had to wonder if some christian parents' group threatened to picket Disney's witch movie unless it harped on a random virtue like virginity. That would actually follow, given that HOCUS POCUS is a movie that casually sides with witch hunters whose religious mania and misogyny caused the deaths of at least 25 people during the era in which the hilariously kooky Sanderson Sisters are meant to have terrorized the town. Meanwhile, in modern times, their goal is to "steal the lives" of children to create an immortality potion. I don't know why they have to keep saying "steal their lives". It makes no sense to me. I get that maybe they can't say that the Sandersons KILL children--I know this isn't WARLOCK. But it's not even THE WITCHES, in either the Roeg or Zemeckis version; you have little idea what they do to the children. You'd think they could say "steal their souls", or something else that we vaguely understand from watching a lot of movies, but no. HOCUS POCUS just asks a lot from me, in terms of my ability to find it interesting that witches are running around and they must be stopped.
The witches’ grimoire, the best part of the movie, doesn’t have nearly enough to do.
The witches, Kathy Najimy, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Bette Midler, really just run around screaming for most of the movie. I would agree that this must be stopped, and I only regret that it took like 96 minutes for this to happen. I don't even blame the ladies for this movie's lack of charisma; it's pretty clear that they're just doing what a movie this loud and tacky requires. And at my most open-minded, I can acknowledge that it's good for little kids to see female characters who are wacky and confident, and not at all sexy or romantic. But I don't find any of this at all fun, personally. I don't care about the LA virgin who is dressed as a "rap singer" for Halloween, even though he looks more like a white separatist in his fatigue green bomber jacket and dad jeans. I don't care about the talking cat, voiced by Disney standby Jason Marsden who is not really up to the task of doing a british accent. I don't care about bland hot chick Vinessa Shaw, or the cool kid's spunky kid sister, even if she is played by Thora Birch. Doug Jones makes an appearance as a friendly zombie, which could have been fun, but...I shouldn't be surprised that it isn't.
Actually, the only thing I found at all provocative about HOCUS POCUS was the bullies. At first, I did not understand that they were supposed to be bullies. Wannabe rapper "Ice" and his buddy Jay, who by all appearances should be looking around for a church to burn, are unlikely friends and even unlikelier neighborhood threats. When I first saw them, I thought maybe they were going to be the hero's new pals--misfits like himself who have nothing in common but their misfit-ness. But then they shake the kid down for money, and ruin Halloween for little trick-or-treaters, and it's like...oh, these are "bad guys"? Why? Who would ever put up with them? I was alive in a small town during the time that this movie is supposed to take place, and I was very aware of scary teenagers then. The guys in this movie would never have been taken seriously, regardless of physical ability, and worse than that, they do not serve any purpose in this purposeless narrative.
Anyway, it's pretty obvious that I don't have much to say about HOCUS POCUS, and watching it was basically a mistake. However, I do have one nutritious morsel to leave you with, courtesy iMDB's trivia page. You can all take heart in the fact that even a really dumb, useless movie can sometimes reveal something about life that you never imagined:
#hocus pocus#mick garris#kenny ortega#neil cuthbert#horror#fantasy#comedy#children's#supernatural#salem#witch trials#witch#blogtober#2020#omri katz#vinessa shaw#thora birch#doug jones#bette midler#sarah jessica parker#kathy najimy
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Books and Bubble Baths: Chapter 3
(Find this chapter and my other work on AO3 here! )
It was so easy for Crowley to sow little seeds of evil in the world. And the fact they were able to do so while getting breakfast for their angel was an added bonus. They held an impeccably wrapped package in their arms – a package they had forced the shop staff wrap, then pull apart only to wrap again until it was perfect. It had to be, Crowley wouldn’t allow a half-arsed gift for their angel. You don’t get shown that GOOD of a time and NOT at least buy the person some pastries!
They’d woken up a tangled mess. Arms and legs and huge wings splayed and curled together with their angel. They’d never done that – woken up with the heat of another person. They also hadn’t seen their angel sleep in...forever. Crowley had stayed with him, watching the rise and fall of his soft tummy, his arms curled to his chest. His cheek had smushed against Crowley’s shoulder, giving him an off centre pout.
Crowley eventually crawled out of the bed, legs wobbling. Naked and still fizzing from the night before, they’d snuck into the ensuite. They showered, stole some of Angel’s perfume and examined themself in the mirror. They hadn’t looked any different. Part of them had wondered if there would be something new about them, but there wasn’t – aside from the marks along their neck from their angel’s hungry little mouth. Crowley touched one gently, and smirked. That had certainly been something. While they could easily alter their form and make the marks disappear, they didn’t. Keeping them made everything more real, they couldn’t pretend the night before was just a very realistic dirty dream – it was real, and their angel had claimed them as his.
They had dressed in a tight (and short) black dress, black stockings and black knee high snakeskin boots with dangerously thin heels. With a wispy red scarf tied at their throat (just because they wanted to keep the marks didn’t mean they wanted anyone else to look at their horny little secret) and hair pulled back into two messy buns on either side of their head they slunk out of the shop. Stiletto heels clicked menacingly on the stone street as if to say: watch out world, I’m newly sexed up! I’m mad, bad and mildly inconvenient to know!
Package in hand, they trotted back to the shop, bell tinkling sweetly. They placed the package on the table, stepping back to make sure it was perfectly arranged – the shop bell rang.
Head whipping round, Crowley hissed under their breath. There was a MAN. He smiled when they met his eye. Crowley curled their lip.
‘Hello-’
‘Go away,’ Crowley strode over, making shooing motions with their hands. The man was taller than them, and white with a mess of brown hair. He picked up a book, turning over uselessly in his hands, ‘I just want to look at some books...’
‘You can’t, shops closed. Piss off!’
The man smiled, then held out his hand, ‘Okay. You caught me, I actually saw you outside and wanted to meet you -’
‘- Ew, grosssss, ’ Crowley hissed – He was ruining their morning! Inside their head a 40 foot serpent was smashing its metaphorical fists on a table chanting “BITE! BITE! BITE! BITE!” Their teeth itched. When ever they felt a strong – and often negative – emotion Crowley’s internal bearings would stop pointing at “person” and start pointing towards “reticulated python” taking their corporal form with it.
‘- The names David.’
‘I don’t care!’ Crowley’s whole faced scrunched in disgust, ‘Do you often follow strangers into buildings? How are you not dead?’
‘There’s no need for that -’
‘Get out! Now! The shop is closed, and I have no desire what so-fucking-ever of knowing you!’
The human couldn’t see it, but Crowley could feel their fangs growing, their body gaining vertebra, lengthening, bones threatening to crack and warp -
‘Crowley?’ The most beautiful sound in the world was their name uttered by a puffy faced, bleary eyed angel in a tartan pyjama set and fluffy slippers. The man turned and blinked, ‘....oh.’
‘Who are you?’ The angel frowned catching sight of the man.
‘He followed me in!’ Crowley snarled, ‘Before I could lock the door.’
‘Why did you follow my love in here?’ Aziraphale walked slowly over, eyes fixed on the man.
‘We were just talking-’
Crowley backed away with a snarl. The snake inside was thirsting for a fight, and they were not going to give in – especially not when Aziraphale’s books were in the splash zone.
The angel stood with his hands behind his back, head cocked to one side. ‘We are closed, sir, you really do need to leave.’
‘Hey, she came in here too-’
‘Of course THEY did. THEY are my partner, you are a pillock,’ The angel gave a steely grin. ‘Vacate the premises on your own accord, before I have to force you out myself.’
Crowley barked a laugh, leaning forward to grip the edge of a shelf. Their ribs were on fire. As a defence mechanism, turning into a giant serpent was quite handy. A lot of creatures backed off from the sight of a skinny little person exploding in a cloud of viscera into a 650 pound mass of teeth and scales. But it did wreck havoc on the nerves.
‘She never said she was married...’ The man whined, slamming the door behind himself. Aziraphale clicked his fingers and the locks slammed into place.
‘Are you okay – oh... Oh dear!’ Aziraphale gasped.
Teeth. Crowley was all teeth now, arms limp and useless around their middle. ‘Gotta biiiite ssssssomething!’
‘Hang on, my love!’
Aziraphale trotted to his desk. He rummaged through the topmost drawer. With expert aim Aziraphale threw a large dog toy at Crowley, who’s body twisted and burst into heavy coils. They caught the toy in their huge jaw, sinking their fangs in deep. With each furious chomp the thing squeaked, lost in the rolling body of the serpent. Crush it! Crush it!
Somewhere in the background of their mind, Crowley heard their angel putting on the jug. The air was full of his scent – warm, tired, a little sweaty. It was calming. Their heavy body slowly unknotted itself. Aziraphale came back in, carrying two steaming mugs. He sat on the shop sofa with a sigh, ‘Goodness me, what a way to start the day.’
‘Bad man,’ Crowley rumbled, punctuating the sentence with a squeak of the chew toy.
‘Indeed!’
The chew toy dropped to the floor, Crowley’s head rising above their knots, ‘If I find who invented misogyny, I’ll give them such a dressing down!’
‘Hear, hear!’ Aziraphale held his drink aloft.
‘They’ll get such a bollocking like no one has ever been bollocked before!’
‘Hear, hear...?’
‘And I’ll constrict around their horrible, pitiful little body until their bastarding head pops off and flies into the sun!’
‘Oh, good lord...’ Aziraphale made a face, looking over at Crowley.
‘Bastards!’ The snake snarled at the world, head aloft, fangs bared. They sucked in a deep breath, then slithered over to the sofa. They looped their body around the entire thing a couple of times, large head placed softly on the angel’s knee. They sighed, ‘....bastards.’
‘I know, darling,’ Aziraphale stroked his finger down the centre of their face. ‘I am sorry.’
‘I’m not a girl...’ They sighed, ‘And I shouldn’t be upset that some wanker thought I was one! What even is a gender to a thing like me? I wear a body for fun, but it’s not...anything! I’m like a...a...a Muppet! A muppet with a snake instead of a hand up it!’
Aziraphale blew out a slow breath, ‘You’re very...descriptive today, my love.’
‘But that’s what it’s like! It’s all fake,’ Crowley wobbled their head. ‘So why am I upset!’
‘Because you were mistreated,’ The angel ran his thumb over the top of their snout. ‘He shouldn’t have said what he said. Or treated you like he did. You’re allowed to be upset, sweet one. Because you deserve the be treated with respect and to be seen how you wish to present yourself.’
Crowley nuzzled their snout into his hand, letting their forked tongue gently touch his wrist. He chuckled softly, and Crowley felt a little thrill at the sound. Comforting. Angel was always comforting and warm.
‘Got you a treat,’ They purred, pointing the tip of their tail at the package. Aziraphale gasped, grinning, ‘Oh! How thoughtful. You’re so kind, Crowley.’
‘Ew, stop it, haven’t I been through enough this morning,’ Crowley mumbled, eternally grateful that snakes couldn’t blush.
‘Are you going to have a snake day?’ Aziraphale asked, stroking his hand down the back of their head. They liked it when he petted them, not that they’d ever told him. But, they supposed, maybe he already knew. He had such a way of finding what made their little brain turn to goo.
‘Nah,’ They said, then pried themself away from Aziraphale’s warm, tender hands. ‘Look away while I switch.’ They slunk down behind the sofa, puling their large body tightly together.
‘Darling, I’ve seen you change a thousand times before, why must I avert my eyes now?’
Because you’ve seen me in ways no one else ever has, and maybe ever will, and I don’t know how to cope with the knowledge of being genuinely and wholly perceived in my true state – and to have that state of being be loved so fully. I feel like I’ve been pulled a part, and put back together piece by minute piece, all by your hand, and that isn’t something I have felt since the birth of creation.
Is what Crowley thought. What Crowley said was:
‘Cut me some fucking slack, Angel!’
Limbs restored, Crowley wriggled their little dress back down over their thighs, and gave their hair a quick pat down. Wrinkle free and fangs safely put away, they sat down beside Aziraphale, and smiled. He didn’t return it.
'So...' Aziraphale said, staring into the depths of his tea. 'We need to talk about last night, yes?'
'Do we, though?' Crowley sat on their hands to hide the shaking. Nerves made their stomach gurgle. There was no point trying to hide it, that man-shaped force of love and light beside them could see through them in an instant. He was their best friend. He'd seen them at some of their lowest points, he knew them probably better than they knew themself. And that put him at an unfair advantage.
'Yes, Crowley, we do,' He shifted in his seat, and looked at them. Crowley couldn't make eye contact, so they slouched, crossed their legs, hands folded on their stomach and stared up at the cobweb covered ceiling. Build a little wall, enough to peek over but enough to shelter, they thought. Just in case.
'Okay then, Angel,' they said. 'Fire away.'
Aziraphale sighed, 'You were gone when I woke up-'
'- To get you breakfast!'
'Crowley, let me talk. Please?' He sighed again, 'Waking up without you beside me was...a shock. I've never wondered what it would be like to wake up with you there, but I found I had been expecting that.'
'...Sorry.'
'Oh! No, please, you don't need to be,' He reached over and patted their knee. 'Dear boy, what I'm trying to say is when I awoke and you weren’t there I feared the worst. I was worried I had hurt you,’ Aziraphale said. ‘Or frightened you in some way. I’ve hurt you before, and I never want to do so again.’
‘Ah...But I got over it, so no harm done,’ Crowley lied through their pointy little teeth. Sometimes, in the dead of night they replayed the rejection over and over in their head, or they dreamt it – often accompanied by the smell of smoke and lick of flame.
‘Hmm,’ Aziraphale sipped his tea, giving them a look. ‘Well I haven’t. So tell me, are you okay?’
Behind their glasses Crowley closed their eyes and silently cursed themself. Why now were they filled with nerves? They had so many years of quietly thirsting over the angel, of openly flirting and teasing, and now, NOW was when their palms grew sweaty and they wanted nothing more than the earth to open up and swallow them whole.
'I'm feelin' fine, Angel,' Crowley said with a lazy wave of their hand.
'You're feeling fine?'
'Yeah.'
'Just...fine?'
'Yeah?'
'Right-o, then,' Aziraphale said, crossing his legs. But something in the air told Crowley it was not right-o. Something wasn't right-o at all.
'I mean,' they started, leaning closer with their hands on their knees. 'More than fine, Angel. Really more than fine. I'm good, great even. Tingly.'
'Tingly?'
'All up my spine and my skin,' Crowley gave an awkward half smirk half grimace. 'It's nice. But also, real real weird.'
Aziraphale gave a warm chuckle, setting his tea aside, 'I know what you mean, my love.' Crowley's heart did a horrible little flip at that. They kneaded their chest. I'm never going to get used to that, they thought, this bastard is going to kill me with pet names.
'Why are you rubbing your breast, dear?'
'I'm not! You're making my chest hurt!'
'What? How?'
'By being all good,' Crowley frowned. 'And nice and pretty and soft. Why are you so soft?' Their chest was really starting to hurt now, like their heart was expanding and strangling their lungs.
'Sit down, Crowley, you’re having one of your moments.'
'What?' They were pacing – when did they get up? The room was too hot – why did the angel never open any bloody windows in the place-?
Cold hands. Cold hands at their throat. Instinct said to bite, to jump, to scuttle away into the dark. They stood stock still as Aziraphale delicately untied their scarf. Cool air washed over their skin, followed by a tender touch along the marks still present on their neck and throat. Strong arms wrapped around their middle, and soft curly hair settled under their chin. Crowley's arms hung limp by their side.
'I'm a numpty.'
'Yes you are, but a lovely one,' Aziraphale chuckled softly. He rubbed their back. Crowley pressed their cheek to the top of his head, eyes closed. He smelled like soap. Good soap. Fancy soap with roses in it. It was the most comforting thing they'd ever sniffed. They never wanted to not sniff those roses ever, ever again.
'You need to work on your emotional regulation, though, maybe get a stress ball? We could take a perambulation through the park later -'
'- I want to go home.'
Aziraphale pulled back, frowning deeply, 'Oh.'
Crowley picked up the box of pastries and strode towards the stairs.
'Where are you going?' Aziraphale asked. They could hear the frustration in his voice. Crowley ran, 'Upstairs! I think I live here now!’
'What the blazes are you on about?' Aziraphale thundered behind them but Crowley had already placed the box on the table and was sizing up the room.
'I wanna put my desk under that window-'
'Crowley!'
'What?'
'You can't just decide something like that! This is my home-'
'-I think you might be mine, though.'
Aziraphale heaved a huge sigh, ‘Oh, my heart. You sweet, beautiful fool.’ He rolled his eyes then smiled, ‘Crowley, I want to be with you and around you as much as possible. You don’t have to grip so tightly, I’m not going anywhere. I adore you. But you can’t just decide that you live here. Do you actually want to move in to the shop with me?’
‘No, it’s kind of ugly,’ They admitted. ‘And your interior decorating abilities are seriously lacking, Angel. I mean really, tartan curtains? Yellow wallpaper? It’d need a complete do over-’
‘Well, golly, thank you for that Crowley,’ Aziraphale laughed, untying the ribbon on the package. He flipped the lid and gasped. ‘Oh! So pretty! Is that almond paste?
‘And custard.’
The smile Crowley got could have lit up the whole world. They could do this. If they could get a smile like that every day, then fuck, maybe they’d be worth something. All they wanted was that smile. That warmth and bite.
‘Maybe,’ They said carefully, ‘We could have a trial run. Of living together.’
Aziraphale nodded, licking sugar powder off his fingers in such a manner that Crowley had to avert their eyes to keep their thoughts on track. ‘Would you move in here? I don’t know if I could move into your apartment-’
‘Nah nah,’ Crowley rocked on their heels. ‘Somewhere neutral.’
‘Neutral.’ Aziraphale hummed, looking out the window, ‘Like...a holiday?’
‘Yeah! Angel,’ Crowley smiled toothily, ‘Wanna go on holiday? Anywhere you like, you pick, I’ll drive!’
The angel leaned back in his dining chair, hands folded on the table. He grinned, ‘I’ll go pack.’
---
Thanks for reading! If you like my work, consider buying me a coffee here!
#good omens#goodomens#goodomens fanfic#crowleyxaziraphale#ineffable husbands#ineffable spouses#ao3 writer#also on ao3#my fic
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The 7-episode limited series Hollywood, Ryan Murphy’s second project at Netflix, premieres May 1. Co-created by Ian Brennan (Glee), the dramedy imagines a reality where society’s underdogs (African-Americans, Asians, homosexuals, women) are able to make it big in post-War Tinseltown. EW TV critics Kristen Baldwin and Darren Franich debate the merits of Murphy and Brennan's revisionist take on showbiz history.
KRISTEN: Hollywood begins — where else? — at the movies, where soldier-turned-aspiring actor Jack Castello (The Politician’s David Corenswet) is taking in a helpfully expositional newsreel. “Tinseltown is boomtown!” bellows the announcer. “The studio system is king!” With the war over, Jack is one of the thousands of eager guys and dolls flocking to the gates of Ace Studios each day, hoping to be chosen as an extra. He wants to be a star, see — but he’s also just another untrained, handsome mug in a sea of L.A. beauty. “Kid, you’re a dime a dozen,” sniffs a casting agent. So what’s a big lug with a pregnant wife (Maude Apatow, in a truly thankless role) supposed to do?
A desperate Jack takes a job as a pump jockey/gigolo at a service station — a full-service station, if you will — called Golden Tip Gasoline. (Did we mention this is a Ryan Murphy show?) The gig serves dual purposes: It gives Hollywoodan excuse to strip Corenswet down to his skivvies in the premiere and leads Jack to cross paths with the other key characters: Archie (Jeremy Pope), a black, gay screenwriter; Avis Amberg (Patti LuPone), the neglected wife of a studio mogul (and Jack’s first client); Roy Fitzgerald (Jake Picking), a shy, closeted hunk destined to become Rock Hudson; and Raymond Ainsely (Darren Criss), an earnest, half-Asian director hoping to lure actress Anna May Wong (Michelle Krusiec) out of retirement.
FULL ARTICLE | EW.COM
#darren criss#entertainment weekly#hollywood#hollywood review#hollywood spoilers#just in case#press#april 2020
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For the final time….It’s Schitt’s Creek Tuesday!!!🥺
In honor of the series finale tonight I am watching Season 6 in its entirety while I work today, drinking out of my Ew, David mug, & wearing my Rose Apothecary shirt. I am making a separate post about what this show has meant to me but for now Happy Wedding Day to David & Patrick. As emotional as tonight will be I am BEYOND excited to see my two favorite boys say I do.
#schitt's creek tuesday#schitt's creek#schitts creek#sc spoilers#i am not ready to say goodbye#i have already cried once this morning#i am going to miss this show more than words can express#thank you dan levy
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Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Ew David, 14oz Coffee Mug schitt’s Creek.
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Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Schitt's Creek Ew David oversized coffee mug.
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Check up tag game!
Tagged by one of my dearest friends, @rzrcrst I love you Kenzie
How has your day been?
Uh. Not gonna lie it was pretty freaking terrible. I physically hurt a lot, was very close to being struck by lightening, dropped my lunch on the floor before I’d had any of it, my tea slipped out of my hand and my favorite mug shattered and I was scalded by very hot leaf juice, and my kitchen sink overflowed. I’m thriving.
What was the last thing that made you smile?
An episode of Schitt’s Creek that I rewatched to try and make myself feel better. It mostly worked.
Ew, David
What’s keeping you entertained these days?
Not so much entertained, as occupied, but I’ve been doing a lot of cross stitch. And reading. So much reading.
If you’re in quarantine/ isolation, is there anything you’d like to achieve during this time?
Honestly I’ve just been baking and planting and reading and crafting. I’m someone that needs to have a job, y’all. I’m BORED.
Post a selfie, if you want!
Have this okay selfie from my birthday when I looked (and felt!) really cute and no one noticed.
No pressure tags! @cosmicbug379 @hopelikethesun @murdermewithbooks @agentpike
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* gemma chan. thirty-six. female. she/her. | did you see monica dawson this morning on main street? i heard they were heading towards the protests. they’ve been in ballard for their whole life and last time i spoke to them, they were the manager of dawson’s deli. if i remember correctly, they’re an aries and they remind me of witty sayings on a chipped coffee mug, pockets full of post it notes, and records collecting dust on a shelf probably because they’re resilient and argumentative.
admin liz at it again with another muse but thankfully this is the last ! same little note as all my other intros, but i’d love to plot with any of you all, and i’m always available here or on discord @ ew, david #5957 if you want to work something out with ms monica, or any of my other muses !!
monica was born on march 31, 1983, in ballard, to tom and mei lien dawson. she was born the oldest of their children, but it didn’t always feel that way, because while she may have had a few years on her younger brother, the deli had opened seven years before she was born. and, at the end of the day, the shop had always been her father’s first pride and joy, and it always loomed within their family as an extra member.
she wouldn’t have had it any other way though. because without the shop, they’d have no excuse to live so close to the lake, and so secluded from the rest of residential ballard. monica spend a good chunk of her childhood separated from the neighborhood games of the other kids in town ambling through the woods around the lake or at the edge of the water with her brother. she thinks scenic ballard is the best the town has to offer and frankly if she could be living in a cabin just out in the oklahoma wilderness year round, she probably would.
she grew up doing things like girl scouts and playing softball. just run of the mill kid stuff. from the time she hit middle school on, she helped her father around the deli whenever she could, and she was happy to do so. but he always made it clear it was never his plan to pass the store to her. unlike other time honored family establishments in ballard, mr. dawson had no plan to hand off to his children, unless they showed the passion and initiative to do that. he wanted to use the store for them, to help them get through college and follow their own paths after that. and monica was thankful for that, because as much as she loved her little corner of the world, she wanted to see more.
so when she graduated, she packed up and moved to tusla, as a start. she lived with her aunt there, to save a buck, and started prepping and planning for a life of travel. she got a degree in geography and days after she graduated, jetted off to europe. she lived in italy for a year, taking up whatever jobs she could find, and taking advantage of getting in all the travel she could. when she came home, it wasn’t long before she was itching to up and do it again
but, so it goes, you can’t always get what you want. she looked around for a job that would offer her the life she wanted, but it was harder to come by than she expected. her first few years out of school, she taught geography and social studies at a high school in the city, and then she ended up in emergency management for the tulsa area. never quite satisfied with either, she’s continued looking for some new avenue to turn down. she just hadn’t pictured her next stop bringing her back to ballard.
two years ago, her father had a fall at work. she was in the process of applying to become a flight attendant to finally satiate the wanderlust she’d put on hold for so long. but when she heard about her dad, she made a little detour to ballard. she’d only meant to stay a couple months, tops, but it was staying in her childhood home, and how her parents functioned within it, and seeing the shop in it’s current state as new competitors looked to stake claim on the real estate every day that really changed her mind.
she first tried to talk her parents into just selling the old thing already, but her father refused. her mother was ready to let go, but at her father’s insistence, tried to convince her the only way to run things would be if monica or her brother stepped in. and, always a sucker for her father’s requests, she agreed. she’s officially on board as a manager, but it’s a job that’s come with a disproportionate amount of responsibility as her father relinquishes more and more tasks to her.
personality wise, i think monica has always been a little resistant to just growing up already. she’s done the desk job, she’s done the positions with power, and she can put on well enough when the pressure is there to do so, but other parts of her cling to the freedom that comes with being young. you can still catch her after closing every day enjoying a beer by the lake playing soft rock and debating running into the woods to never be found again. she’s begrudgingly accepted her responsibility at the deli, but she also wouldn’t have it any other way, because she knows her father’s done so much for her, and this is the least she could do for him.
i think just seeing the developments in town on holidays or hearing about it on the phone was one thing for her, and she used to see it as positive, but being back in ballard she’d begun to resent it. she has considered more than once up and running for local office of some sort or applying for a job with the city planner, but she knows she’s already spread too thin keeping the shop afloat.
like everyone else, i’ve got some stats for her up here, but i’m still working on wc my bad!! i’ll probs do a big update on my plots page this weekend but until then. enjoy stats
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