#feeling sentimental ig but in a funny way

[braisedhoney]

quietly sticks small gold star stickers on each and every one of the funny little characters i can’t stop drawing. each sticker says “special little guy” with varying levels of cartoon hearts.

#ney’s idle chatter (random textposts) #feeling sentimental ig but in a funny way #hmmmm let’s see #narry would be one of those “this is terrible” “then remove it” “no i’m keeping it forever” people probably #gaster moves the sticker around bc goop and that’s funny #stanley puts it on the bucket #engineer mark wears it like a badge of honor and “no you can’t have it” #kim and harry both get one and they stick them on their clipboards #undertale characters are a lot to list but they all get one too #love those guys #… *quietly squints at the resurfacing underfell phase*…. #no. not Yet. #*sweating* #dark would throw it away :( but it would randomly reappear with wilford logic #wilford gets one and it stays forever. probably on the gun. #did i miss any? #i don’t even draw all of these a lot but they’re special little guys okay? #addition: gaster does magic tricks. uses the star like a randomly appearing coin #fantastic

[loveydive]

ik frier.en is considered THE anime of the season and others consider it peak bc its a nice break from constant braindead shounen action but i just cannot get into it

#cin.txt #i mean its cute ig #i like the idea of learning to value your time with people that u love #the frequent callbacks to frierens first party is nice and sentimental in a way that i rlly enjoy #but i just dont find the charactees themselves that compelling or interesting to me #and i feel like the story has nothing to offer to me besides a message that i already know and practice irl #i watched 14 eps of it i think i gave it a fair chance #and iw as watching it alongside dunmeshi as well #which i like FARRR MORE TBH #the sense of humour in frieren is just not my kind of sense of humour #fern constantly calling stark a perv gets old rlly quick #its just repetitive and its the kinda anime humour that i never rlly liked (saying things in a funny tone #colourful bg. chibi forms. etc etc) #its just. an alright anime to me #i dont hate it but its just not memorable or significant in any way

[thegnomelord]

I already know what I wanna have tattooed and I'm hoping it doesn't go near any of my scars because I have sensitive skin especially in the scarred areas. It's supposed to be a tattoo dedicated to my father

Yeah I figured, it's just my asks tend to get kinda long because I vomit words where they don't belong (in someone's ask box instead of the many drafts I'm supposed to be posting)

Oh yeah that makes sense. I just remembered you mentioning how Hound was often put in a sort of ring to fight others and if he lost the winners got to do whatever they wanted to him, so I imagined like maybe someone SA'd Hound or whatnot and Makarov saw and thought it was a good idea (sorry if that was too like...unhinged ig?) cuz it would be a power imbalance thing.

Anyways, I'd like to join the cult but I think I'll stay out of the tank, I don't like water

- 🪒

Ooh that's cool! I always love it when ppl have like sentimental tattoos because all of mine will probably end up being bc I felt like it lol.

Lol do I know the feeling about that :D word vomit in my inbox is fine dude!

Nah like, SA definitely did happen to Hound, especially at the start when it was about breaking down his spirit and because he was so weak he couldn't fight back properly. I was just hesitant to say it out right bc I was still trying to figure out if I wanted to explore that topic in my writing and a bit worried if I could write it in a way that didn't sexualize or glorify rape.

After Hound broke was when the sexual aspect of their power dynamic began, before that Makarov didn't touch him mainly because he considered Hound so below him that it was disgusting for him.

Funny enough Hound getting thrown into the fight ring as Hound is worse than when it happened when he was a sergeant, bc Makarov has conditioned him to only crave his touch and anyone else touching him feels like acid on his skin. So atop the ache of displeasing Makarov enough to throw him into the pit, he's (in hound's mind) further disobeying Makarov by being so weak that others can touch him.

Also please don't join the cult, they're trying to awaken Cthulhu my fucking ex and I'd rather not see the fucker again

#gnome's tea break #gnome correspondence #cod mw2 #x reader #good dog fic #hound-reader #🪒anon

[taylors-fourth-cat-meow]

What are your thoughts about domestic violence? Sjm has written tamlin-feyre in such a realistic way that a lot of domestic abuse survivors identified with feyre and her emotional & psychological abuse (their comments were added in acomaf I think). So I want to know, since you're celebrating a canon domestic abuser while constantly invalidating his victim's trauma & making a mockery of something that affects so many women irl I just want to know what are your thoughts about domestic abuse and do you acknowledge that tamlin is an abuser?

I get wanting a healing & redemption arc for him but what I don't get is the fact that you're able to sympathize with & understand an abuser but you don't have the same sentiments for his victim. Why? Seems like blatant misogyny and normalization of abuse to me

I don't understand the point behind this ask because it's so very clear that they have already formed an opinion.

My thoughts on domestic abuse? Absolutely don't support it. It's a very sensitive topic and I feel that I, who has no experience or knowledge about it have no right to make my opinions about it and survivors in any way.

'Sjm has written tamiln-feyre in a realistic way" I- Speechless.

And since it seems that this person seems to know everything about me and this blog (even tho i've been inactive for months) they failed to notice where in countless posts I've said I don't don't like Feyre because she has suffered abuse. I don't like her because she is a badly written character. It's as simple as that? I won't sympathise or like such a poorly written character just because the author thought to gain her sympathy points. I accept Tamlin's abuse. I wasn't denying it. Wasn't denying the fact Feyre suffered it. But these are non-existent fictional ppl. You can only sympathise with them when u relate to them, understand them and form an attachment. I couldn't do that with Feyre because her holier than thou attitude kept coming in the way the writing is by any normal standards pathetic.

And since it is impossible for people to understand that you can't separate characters from their authors, I don't blame your precious Feyre for anything, I loved her in the first book and do think she had a lot of growth potential as a character, I blame Queen Maas for writing such a pathetic story with pathetic pitiful characters.

"invalidating the victim's trauma" oh dear I don't think it can ever be possible to invalidate Feyre's trauma considering its stuffed down our throats every two pages. (And I don't even understand by what u mean by that? I've never said she should go back to him that's the last thing I want? ) See? Feyre is not a real person. Stop treating her such. She's written, badly written by someone else. So when I say I don't like Feyre's character it's not her that I'm hating it's Sjm and her writing.

Now u may ask why I like Tamlin if I hate sjm's writing so much. See it's the way she kept changing his character as the plot required. One sec he's the mysterious handsome Fey the other he's an evil abuser and the next a selfless brokenhearted man. She paid so Little attention to him that it ended up creating a character that intrigued me.

And most of my posts are not rants or something like that, they're just like posts that cud make u smile or chuckle. And it's specifically for a certain small section of people who do find them funny hence the tags. Again it's mockery of sjm's pathetic writing not Feyre, or women who relate to her. Ig the tags should have been enough but if it helps I'll put up a warning in my description :)

#normalise abuse #ps if you think i am a misogynist and #with all due respect i dont really care about your opinion so.... #anti sjm #anti acotar #tamlin #anon asks #anti feyre #anti feysand #anti rhysand #anti sjm stans #pro tamlin

[gyuswhore]

I just finished reading hits different and CAN I JUST SAY I LOVE IT

The writing was so good I don't think I've ever seen someone write emotions and feelings this well because GIRL I was near tears MULTIPLE TIMES throughout the story

But honestly, I laughed nearly as much as I cried cause the dialogues were so funny

Loved the way you portrayed Seokmin and y/ns relationship plus Seokmin and Mingyus it was all so cute!N

Cant wait to see what caratblr's best writer comes up with next LOL

HI ANON IM SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT 🖤🖤🖤

sorry about the tears um💀 i tried really hard to make the emotions as realistic as possible and to portray them in a way they could be felt. unfortunately i may have gone slightly overboard bc the amount of people that have told me they cried is more than i thought it would be kfjnvsjvnjgr kinda proud of myself bc ig the writing did what it was supposed to do but also i don't want people to cry lMAO

also very happy to hear the dialogues were good too, I'm glad they came off as funny i was a little worried i was being too dry but good to hear somebody thinks otherwise hehe 🫠

I really didnt want the story to revolve too heavily around just reader and mingyu because the emotions are already very tense and it was bound to get overwhelming at some point. i wanted to break that up with that brother/sister thing and the best friend thing as well, just portray different relationships with the same people

ALSO ANON WHAT THE FUCK THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT i am not even near the best writer, there's so many other writers that've inspired me and pushed me to create and have been doing this for longer and are doing it better BUT i appreciate the sentiment so much you almost had ME tearing up in the middle of my lecture 🥹🥹🥹🖤🖤🖤🖤

#i love recieving asks like this they genuinely make me so happy #thank you for taking time out of your day to both read AND send this in #<333 #em.talks #hits different

[bellincurl]

Reflecting on how ppl perceive me being a guy is interesting bc largely it is a non thing even in lgbt spaces. So most ppl treating me like a guy has been from me joking about it more, which leads others to joke about it too but the jokes are very much like Masc tm donny hates women jokes. Which I do find funny to a degree obviously bc joking abt the toxic masc standards is funny but I'm also literally like femme gay so it feels slightly surreal that that's the kind of masc affirming joke around yk. Like I want to be at that point where I'm baseline recognized as a femme gay guy bc that's what I am but when I don't pass I guess people would feel like it was misgendering to go for like a girly gay guy joke.

This is like a nothing sentiment though I'm just thinking out loud. I guess even in a jokey way I don't really enjoy the separation lmao. I don't enjoy other lgbt ppl asking me if my pronouns are she/her off the bat or ppl thinking everything in reference to me needs to be as burly masc tm as possible. ig largely I don't like being heavily gendered in any direction. 'they' tends to have the woman lite connotation with me, irl ppl don't use it pronouns typically. Again I want to pass Enough as a guy already so I can feel good about being genderstrange.

#idk being perceived while neurodivergent too is so confusing #like ppl think im scary when im happy or infodumping or they infantlize me to an absurd degree #im trying to be happy as is knowing im not going to pass really. or knowing that top surgery probably isnt an option for me anymore. #but ik im just not there yet... #to a similar point it's like if im treated bad for being seen as a girl it's Taken as bad bc it's misgendering not bc it's like #a fact of my existence that ppl are gonna be misogynistic and obviously it's something I think about #and upsets me for reasons outside of being trans #like i wouldn't feel better if someone was like oh you're a stupid women OOPS didnt mean to misgender you. you're a man 💞💞💞 #then again its hard to talk about this kinda stuff without the actually misogynistic misandry truther transmascs crawling out of the #woodwork so im formally saying Stay in your wood ☠️

[dojae-huh]

There are a lot of getting together after many years after a break up or being dumb and not realising the feelings are mutual for many years fanfics, but few, if any, fics with Jaehyun not giving up and continuing to pursue his goal.

Which shows how little people actually pay attention to the reality and more to the surface things and common tropes, but my grief with that is that I find this bit particularly interesting about JaeDo. (Something that other ships don't have). The whole conflict of 2017.

This situation of having "all seasons" to the romance is really unusual and pequliar (idols living their lives before the fans). When I see Jaehyun bragging about being promised a ticket to the first day of the musical or making Doyoung laugh with acting stupid during "Love on the floor" practice, I also remember Jaehyun bying Doyoung hand-cream with "hyung's hands are always so dry" comment. Or when Doyoung likes all Prada IG posts and goes on a PR campaign for "Forever only" release, I remember how he said he should buy Jaehyun-ie a scarf to not be cold. There is a continuity that adds so much even to small current events.

That meme by a kfan I linked earlier showed me that there are shippers with the same sentiments. The moments chosen were very "old shippers" kind of moments, the moments that especially stood out because of how indicative or revealing they were about the ship (Jaehyun ready to jump into the river to catch a crab for Doyoung).

Personally, I'm fond of "Doyoung treats Jaehyun as furniture" moments. It sounds rude worded in this way, but in reality it is one of the best indicators of their closeness. Jaehyun, who doesn't like when his personal space is invaded, allowing Doyoung to do so at any moment. And Doyoung, who is more unceremonious the more he is close to people, allowing himself to be possesive with "my bf, my body to touch whenever, wherever". JaeDo as a couple started with the cooking vlive, and with Jaehyun loosing his last braincells and professional composure over Doyoung resting his arm on his knee feigning innocence and total focus on MCing.

After all the years Jaehyun still finding it funny to change the baby butt bread pose into an incorrect version of holding the chin pose.

And yes, I like how perfectly this fancam captured the speed Jae came to action once Do called him (when asking the members to do the baby butt pose for the group photo). As no amount of bitch face and suave brand looks will be able to hide that Jaehyun is indeed still a puppy.

Lastly, moments like this one, when Jaehyun ignores 7 men and turns to ask something Doyoung, don't get into JaeDo ship videos as they are boring out of context, but they are the ones that keep reminding about the bond between the two. And no, it's not about Doyoung being in Thailand back then, as Taeyong, sitting beside Jae, was present during all NCT Life and Rookies programmes in Thailand as well.

#I'll be your morning star #cogito ergo ship #JHDY2022 #NCTLink

[golbrocklovely]

you keep mentioning the malishka thing as a turning point but i dont think that was it, she did a loooot of shady shit and keeps doing so, she is still heavily benefitting from being around him which is why she keeps liking stuff about just them (also why im over her and dont trust her shes a mlp part 2). what im saying is if the malishka thing WAS in fact a turning point, wouldnt that be the first thing he deletes off his snap high lights? He actually added it after he cut her off and moved too. he has atleast 6 snaps of her and someone made a funny point on twitter saying hes trying to balance stuff out by adding more mlp to his second ig account instead of cutting everyone off. I know he doesnt like conflict but the simple gesture of deleting those, or achieving the tiktok, or NOT participating in another tiktok with her would send a big message. he confuses himself, why delete dating comments or shipping comments and then films another tiktok with her? That just brought them back.

obviously i don't know everything, so there's probably a lot of key details that we are missing to really know the full story. this is just my assumption.

the reason why i think the malishka thing was the turning point was how almost immediately after coming home from the europe trip, he stopped being around her. he hung out with her one more time before they moved to vegas and then borderline ignored her for a couple months. that's also when she started up her poetry, did some subtweeting about him when he may or may not have went on a date, and that's when he also deleted comments about him and her.

also that was at the same time kat and sam stopped paying attention to her too, and she talked about feeling abandoned.

but, i think the thing to remember is that colby is extremely sentimental and doesn't want to end a friendship, even if it would be better for him. he still hung out with corey and jake even tho both of them bad mouthed him and sam. clearly colby doesn't know how to let go lol

personally, while ms. snapchat may have done some questionable shit, i don't think (in his eyes) she did anything that was worth ending their friendship over. which i think is also why he hasn't deleted any old stories/snaps or still comments on her stuff. he is still her friend, regardless of what happened. i think he just kept his distance for a while, probably bc he was uncomfortable that she had feelings for him.

and i think the main reason why he deleted shipping comments off of tiktok was bc he doesn't want to be shipped with her. even when they were on good terms, he deleted comments. all colby has ever asked of this fandom is to not be shipped with his girl friends, and no one listens to him. so, he went out of his way to get rid of those comments. and i think her having feelings for him also played a huge part in him deleting them as well.

and he continues to hang out with the ppl he is shipped with, film content with them, bc he is their friend. he can't just… cut every girl out of his life bc he's gonna get shipped with them - which is what always happens. so i think he took matters into his own hands and deleted top shipping comments.

i'm not saying this makes perfect, logical sense. i just think this is how he did it, somewhat lol

also, this is a slight side tangent, but also not really. personally, i don't think she has done anything super shady or weird in a while. not saying this to you in particular, anon; but some anons i have gotten are so stuck on her that they can't accept that not everything she does is to either get attention or weirdly relate back to snc/colby. like her wearing merch…. like, that's not her drawing attention. it's clothes that she owns. what do you want her to do? not wear snc's merch?? lol

if she starts up with the poetry or other weird stuff, then we can talk about her. but otherwise…. let it go.

#ask #personal #tc4 #cb ll

[mechanicalinertia]

Finished Edgerunners last night. Some thoughts:

1. It was… okay, overall. Like, a 7.5/10. It embraced modern genre cliches with aplomb for better and for worse, but the plot was… better than I expected from a Trigger anime. Clearly, having a bunch of Polish guys do that end of the work improved the anime over, say, Promare, or Franxx. Thank fucking christ.

2. On that note, I’ve begun browsing through the AO3 for tag for Edgerunners and it is nothing but fix-fics, I mean it’s incredible how many people want David and Rebecca to live. There are various ways people go about this. Among them: Peggy Sue time travel stories, Lucy telling David to not put on Maine’s arms before the timeskip, a ninja saving Lucy from Faraday. The one I like the most, though, is the one where Smasher spares David and Yorinobu Arasaka - that’s right, the only Arasaka with dignity - gives him a new cyberbody, while Rebecca is rescued by Rogue. So the characters are apart but could come together soon.

3. Am I jealous that these fics all are racking up thousands of views in a little more than a month compared to even Divine Patronage? Hell yes. But I don’t know how to get in on this game for two reasons. One, Edgerunners never really gave me too much emotional attachment — I knew everyone was gonna die based on the trailer where they cite the “it’s not how you live, it’s how you die” line (Classic cyberpunk neoliberal nihilism, see my previous post for why I hate that shit), so watching Rebecca die was just kinda eh, whatever. I think most people like Rebecca just ‘cause they’re horny. If they want more of that, hey, Gunsmith Cats has a horny murder-loli as well, they can go watch the OVA for that or read the manga or whatever. Two, I don’t like Edgerunners’ basic universe enough to not cross it over with my own bullshit Bubblegum Crisis 206X universe, and that inevitably leads to thousands of lost views who have no idea what BGC is and don’t want to find out.

4. What’s funny about the first episode is that its ‘call to adventure’, if you want to get all Campbellian, is a side to cyberpunk universes that I don’t think has really been done too much in anime or visual media I’ve seen. (It probably has been done better I just haven’t seen a whole lot of media.) The whole idea of everything having a price, it being impossible for someone like David or his mom to move up in the world — especially since his bullies can just beat the shit out of him whenever they please — feels at once goofy and plausible, and in those last few minutes you can feel the tension rise as David makes his choice. But then after that it’s off to the races, all cyber-murder and heists and the kind of stuff you expect from what cyberpunk means to people nowadays, a glitzy future aesthetic where life is meaningless so you might as well kill as many corporate / themed-gang goons as possible before going out with a bang. (I guess I need to watch Blade Runner Black Lotus to see if Production IG did anything different for a far more somber franchise, but they sure as hell didn’t for SAC_2045, the bastards.) It might have actually been more interesting for Gloria to not be the Anime Dead Mom, and be in critical care, constantly chastising David for what he’s doing but unable to formulate an alternative. My point is there was potential, and the potential was — squandered isn’t the right word, that implies it wasn’t deliberate. Ignored! Yes. Ignored, that’s the right word.

5. In spite of all my inability to get emotionally attached to pretty much anyone except David and Lucy… well, I like David and Lucy. They’re characters that are developed well enough, and David isn’t really your usual shonen-jump protag but more a depressed wreck only able to actualize himself through ultimately meaningless violence. It’s not as though he really accomplishes his goal of getting Lucy to the moon anyway, ‘cause what good is that if he can’t be with her? So now that I think about it, I understand the sentiment of wanting these characters to live, and that’s what fanfiction is for, and there’s no shame in that. (I’m Rebecca neutral, to be honest. There’s not enough character development there to figure out who she is as a person besides horny for Timeskip David Of Considerable Size.)

6. Well, I guess I’m a hypocrite, because I’m writing a new crossover fanfic that will hopefully follow on from Anatomy of a Lovedoll. It’s called The Witch of Tranquility, and so far it’s only a prologue proposing an alternate timeline where Hanako offs her dad and sells its assets to GENOM, thereby crossing over the two universes. I’ve got a timeline written, too, but I’m holding off on posting it for now. It’s not as though explaining the crossover will make more people read it.

Well, we’ll see how things go, there. Edgerunners could not dethrone Bubblegum Crisis in my heart, but then again I didn’t expect it to. I could compare the two, but there’s no point. Let people enjoy things. I enjoyed Edgerunners. It was good. But it wasn’t great.

#cyberpunk edgerunners

[witchcraftandburialdirt]

<anon> egg , i've left you for last since i knew there was a lot i wanted to say . i'm terrible with being deep in sentiment ( and have struggled a lot with the positivity asks i've both received and sent ) but i hope that i can convey just how wonderful of a person you are . you've been through a lot and while you know that i , in my ways am always trying to encourage you to enforce your boundaries and take better care of yourself , i think it says a lot about your heart and consideration for the people around you that you fret a lot about things . i respect your carefulness as a quality and hope to see you grow more confidence and feel more comfortable over time !

haha , i still remember when we added each other on discord and how your name maDE ME LAUGH LIKE YE S . GOOD TASTE . i'm thankful for our conversations and god , you and han discovered all too quickly what it's like to tease me ( i'll allow it ig ................ /j ) . you and han bring out a silliness in me that is really not possible unless i feel comfortable , so thank you for that . silliness aside though , i am thankful for our more serious conversations or maybe not even serious like in a deep way but just like ... i think about the earnestness you had when you gave me feedback on the nsf/w that i was writing and while you turned it into something lighthearted , it really made me happy and blew away my anxieties when i saw your positive feedback . just in general , i think that you help me put my head back on my shoulders whenever i'm spiraling a bit with the anxiety and that is ... it means a lot to me .

anyways , i don't want this to get too long but ... i don't really say or hope of this from many people that i meet , especially on tumblr , but i mean it genuinely when i say that i hope the three of us can continue to be friends for a long time ! </anon>

I know for most of these I've been posting funny memes but I--I've reread this one maybe 5 times over and it legitimately brought tears to my eyes, and I had to like, stop and wipe up my mess. You and Han have brought me so much joy in such a short amount of time, and I honestly feel blessed that I was able to meet the two of you, even if I send you bald yone's and make you wanna choke me--

I'm just, blown away by the thought that went into this message, and its something that I plan to keep on days that I really need it. Mars, I really appreciate you more than I can say, and I want to reaffirm that you help screw my head back on too when it starts to come loose. I adore our conversations and I really really want to stay friends for as long as time allows it. You're a wonderful human being, and even though its hard for you to admit it to yourself, I'm here to tell you and pound it into your head that you're a welcoming and loving individual. It's been an honest to god privilege to be your friend, share little thoughts, and witness all of the amazing things you write, draw, and create. You're honest and blunt, yet nuanced and gentle in your approach, and have helped me regain so much confidence that was previously shattered.

Seriously, you're just a really good friend. I can't stop complimenting you back honestly, and if I don't stop myself I'll go on forever. Just--thank you. Thank you for being you, and for allowing me into your life.

#mun speaks #tell me how you feel meme #windchaser #well #you did it #you officially made me cry #keeping this for later

[everythingsinred]

Okay with the character bingo, I must inquire about your fandoms bc I don't want to be like "ahh what do you think of this fine lad"

And you being like :/ idk who that is nice bird tho

Like that would be kinda funny, but also it would be neat to hear about your other fandoms than GA. Like I've seen Go Piss Girl (Gossip Girl, but the only thing I know about that show is that meme 😅), The Office, something to do with spies? And one with characters that have big ol eyes but idk what it is.

In any case, for the time being, what your thoughts about ✨Mikan✨? My impression of her has changed a lot over the years, I first thought she was annoying but now I'm just kinda sad for her :,)

hi!!

yeah i dont watch owl house but im pretty sure thats hunter? if its not im sorry i only know what i see on my dash in passing lol. nice bird tho (hehe)

yeah i like gossip girl! i was at the height of that when i was 13 but its a nostalgic show for me. its not a show that i think too much abt ig. mostly i just quote it all the time w my sister. i have a gossip girl character as my icon now bc i like having matching icons w my sister! we like to switch through fictional friendships/sibling dynamics. 

i also LOVE the office and also all sitcoms of that nature (i love parks and rec, superstore, new girl, etc. i love funny shows that focus on sentimental relationships that end up making me ugly cry. i think the office might be my fav but tbh i thought that abt superstore AND new girl before so idk if i even have a fav).

spy x family is a new anime im into these days! its found family and very cute!

and show w big eyes... im not sure which one u mean hhh. i like a lot of anime, my favs being ga (ofc), jibaku shounen hanako-kun, and fruits basket. im also really into the webtoon hooky, which is abt witches.

anyway mikan time:

ONE OF MY FAV CHARACTERS OF ALL TIME. i talk abt natsume all the time so it might feel like hes my all time fav, but he and mikan actually share that place in my heart. 

yes similarly i also felt she was annoying when i first watched the anime (i was twelve when i first got into it). at such a young age i had a tendency to get irritated with the female mcs in media (internalized misogyny, etc) and mikan was 1. loud 2. bold 3. stupid, which are naturally unforgivable traits for a character to have (sarcasm). when i rewatched/reread at 14 i realized that i was looking at her all wrong. around the time i started observing the ga tumblr fandom around age 15 (i only recently started being active in the ga fandom bc i was too nervous before), there was a pervasive idea that mikan was a mary sue.

UGH so let me go off real quick. i will talk way more abt mikan in my next nm essay, but ill summarize some of my ideas briefly for this. mikan’s arc is all about feeling useful, having agency, and how best to help others. she is maybe one of the few characters who undergoes OVERWHELMINGLY negative character development. i dont mean she was flanderized or ruined, i mean that this little girl started developing the idea that she should smile all the time and hide all her negative feelings in order to make OTHERS feel better. this is not good! but its treated like its good, like thats the best choice she can make (this is the actual reason that i only ship her romantically w natsume actually, but ill go into that in my essay). it can be fun for a character to devolve, to make the wrong choice, but this change wasnt treated that way.

another issue is i genuinely HATE mikan having the stealing alice. she should never have had the stealing alice. do i realize thats more than half the manga im talking about? YES. it completely upended her character arc. her nullification alice was so understated! she felt like it was useless and was SO insecure about it. then all of a sudden she has the stealing alice, which can be dangerous, but definitely cannot be called “useless” and her story about uselessness/having a “boring” alice just. falls short. yukas story w the stealing alice was so meaningful and impactful on its own. mikan ALMOST being the next yuka couldve been compelling if it didnt ruin the set-up that the entire first half of the manga was focusing on. 

anyway mikan is NOT a mary sue for the above reasons. she is not effortlessly perfect. many people in the manga call her plain. she can be really stupid. she doesnt always save the day. in fact, other people often have to save her, making her feel useless (which is why she shouldve saved natsume. they were each other’s key to resolving arcs and yet. and YET.) she can be loud, brash, bold, and often says the wrong things. she has a really apparent character arc and calling her a mary sue ignores all that. ppl who think mikan is a mary sue are my worst enemy and i will fist fight them.

now ill talk a little about mikan in fanfics bc i think its worth mentioning, especially since i filled out that square abt her being done dirty. like i said, mikan is stupid. im not insulting her. some people are stupid. shes not good at academics. shes a lot more sporty than she is brainy. she rushes to conclusions and doesnt always think things through. shes not really a rational person all the time. fanfics often treat this stupidity as a negative trait to be fixed. maybe shes stupid when shes little but she’ll be a genius when she gets older! look how smart she is now! instead of just letting her be dumb. she has other traits, like deep empathy, athleticism, passion, optimism, that are often sacrificed in fanfic in order to make room for her made up intelligence. 

mikan in fanfic (especially if shes supposed to be older) is often painted as more subdued than her loud manga counterpart, more often cynical, introverted, skeptical, etc., and ALWAYS pretty even if SHE doesnt see it (despite being described often as plain in the manga). i have some theories about this. 

1: western fans are more comfortable making mikan like a western mc than one more typical of anime. if u think abt what a typical western female lead looks like, she’s usually less feminine, “not like other girls,” a smart bookworm who is cynical and rational. this is familiar so i think a lot of western fanfic writers end up leaning mikan this way even at the cost of making her unrecognizable. so mikan being stupid and loud and optimistic are all traits to be fixed, bc theyre not as familiar in a lead role. 

2. fans want to have a mature mikan, and they think theres no way she can keep her childish traits, like stupidity, boldness, impulsiveness, and idealism, and NOT be a child. i find that ridiculous. why cant mikan be a giddy, happy, upbeat adult? why does she have to lose all the traits that make her mikan in order to demonstrate maturity? 

3. i might be off base with all of these, but this one... i feel the most strongly about. mikan is the main character. in a lot of stories, the reader is invited to relate to the main character, to project onto her. often, the main character is vague or universal BC imagining her as you is the whole point. fanfic (especially the older fanfic) turns mikan into that easily recognizable and relatable mc we can insert ourselves into. 

anyway i have a lot more thoughts on mikan, way more than i could ever say in one post (which is why im doing an essay series) but these are some basic thoughts i have. im sorry its so long. 

#ppl focus so much on making mikan what she isnt that they forget all the great things she IS. she doesnt need u to fix her! #she is my blorbo <3 i love her to the ends of the earth #sorry this is so long! i barely even got started tho #i have too many thoughts on her #sakura mikan #ga #ask games #answered #tardytothepardy #gakuen alice #also what i project onto mikan is feelings of uselessness #just bc she isnt a typical western mc doesnt mean shes not relatable! #im very protective of her <3 my beloved

[cruelsister-moved2]

I love your blog soooo much!!! everything you say is just soo true. The thing about focusing on what we enjoy is so liberating. I focused way to much in trying to understand my undesirability to men, when I can just forget about men and not give them my imaginary time and just enjoy my attraction to women <3<3

aw thats sweet im glad that sentiment is helping u to find comfort and enjoyment!!<33 its so sad to me how many ppl think ur identity designates what u enjoy rather than vice versa...

as a lesbian talking abt it always feels like ur opening urself up to that judgement so i always immediately want to be like 'but i am personally really disgusted by men and the idea of having anything romantically or sexually to do with one is hideous to me!!!' but i always stop myself bc its like well... it wouldnt actually matter how i feel towards men though, because my autonomy is absolute on its own and if i know that i WANT to be involved with women and not with men then like.. the conversation can end there! in the mainstream imagination i feel like so many gay men's stories start w the realisation of their attraction to men, but lesbians' with the realisation of their non-attraction to men. my moment of absolute clarity was the first time a girl asked me out & i had the rapid realisation that like, oh i would ENJOY that, i WANT that, when i had been saying yes to guys who asked before just bc i was like idk...ig i dont have a reason to not. it sounds funny but like until that point i had literally never thought about what i might want, only like.. if id be able to stomach a serious relationship with a guy. so even though i kind of felt by then that the answer might be no, it hadnt really brought me any answers & it wouldnt have mattered if i had decided i could, because it was immediately obvious at that point that a heterosexual relationship with a man wasnt something i wanted for me in my life when i could have a gay relationship w a woman. i felt sooo free in that moment, not bc my feelings abt men had been conclusively revealed to me but actually bc i realised i didnt even gaf.

its kind of a double bind for us between the fact that heterosexual people need to be reassured that gay people are ontologically so in order to respect us (and not feel threatened by us😳), and the various layers of misogyny incl the expectation that we are passive participants in the equation of desire, which alienates us frm our desires & the very experience of desire itself, and also fosters the assumption that any ability to experience male desire will supersede anything else if at all possible so therefore it has to be completely ruled out to be allowed to ignore it. we need to prove that we are not CAPABLE of having a relationship with a man in order not to want one, whether right now or ever. so the fact i personally do feel genuinely unable to experience that without like genuinely wanting to kill myself feels like its basically irrelevant to anyone but me, and only self-determination matters to anyone else. i feel like im more interested in defending the right of other women to want&seek&enjoy sexual&romantic relationships with other women, regardless of why, rather than proving that i personally have done all my homework and can prove that i wouldnt be happy with a man. like wtf, women are hot and dating a woman is the most beautiful experience of my life, who wouldnt want to seek that out !! its irrelevant what the alternatives are bc none of them are preferable. the continued survival of this rhetoric in lgbt spaces only really reinforces that being gay is a bad thing to be and gay relationships are worse than heterosexual ones and no one would ever want that unless they had no other choice and i just soo strongly do not feel that!!

#ask #anon #um sorry..long-_- #always fascinated w how no1 bats an eye at the way gay men idolise divas for example #whichh ive talked abt in detail before so i wont ramble abt that too

[cantdanceflynn]

My fair goalie is a great episode! I like the part where Heinz is sick and Perry puts a blanket over him, and the ‘nostrils’ is funny for a team name. Every part of that episode does seem quite well put together!

Lawrence is incredible in that episode, I think it’s one of the best examples of his personality. He’s very mild-mannered, and he’s willing to let himself lose just so his brother is happy. But he’s also very talented! He just doesn’t show it unless he has a reason to: and Linda asking him to show it is a good reason for him, it’s always nice to see their relationship, it’s wholesome.

The Candace plot of the episode is also really entertaining, the being a lady song gets stuck in my head all the time, it’s really great.

Eliza is an interesting character as well, I kind of wish that she had another episode or two. Her family presumably lives in England, so I think they should have been mentioned whenever the Flynn-Fletchers visited England. Also, she has way too many brothers, lmao.

Professor Ross Eford is also a genius palindrome- I think it’s interesting worldbuilding to introduce a concept like “palindromes were feared in the fifties”. We can see how that old superstition still exists in the modern day, with how that kid realized Ross had a palindrome name and their mother clearly still has some prejudice for palindromes. I think the implications of this would be really interesting! And since palindromes aren’t a controversial topic in the real world, I think that would be a really great opportunity for Phineas and Ferb to tackle the concept of discrimination. It would be really interesting to have an episode where someone has a palindrome name and is bullied and Phineas and Ferb’s big idea of the day could be teaching everyone that it’s okay to have a palindrome name! Buford could be the bully, maybe he learned that palindromes were bad from an older relative, and over the course of the episode he realizes that there’s nothing wrong with palindromes. Also, given that ‘madam’ is a palindrome, it could be interesting to have interactions where an older woman from the fifties is called madam and she gets offended at being called a palindrome.

Let’s not forget Ferb, either! Ferb is great in that episode. Honestly, the ‘curse’ thing could tie into the palindrome superstition in a really interesting way if they’d wanted to go that route, but the ending where the curse is broken and they still lose is also really great. ‘Sometimes you just miss’ is a good moral, because it also serves to debunk superstition. Sometimes you just miss, there doesn’t have to be a supernatural explanation for everything. I also really love the bit at the beginning when Buford comes by and gives Ferb all that American stuff in that big sack. It’s really brilliant! I also like the end credits, when Ferb says he’s not a Brit or a Yank, he’s just Ferb. When I saw that part I was struck by an irrational urge to edit the scene so he was saying that in response to being asked what his gender was.. non-binary Ferb is all powerful, I suppose. But honestly it is a really nice sentiment. That episode goes all in on the American vs British stuff, but that ending takes a step back to remind the audience that it’s all just for fun, and no one actually has to be defined by where they live or where they came from. They can just be!

Also Baljeet screaming in the hat. Need I say more? Hilarious.

SGJIDGJSGIJSGISGJ YEA!!!

EXACTLY LAWRENCE IS SOSOSSOSO PRECIOUSSSSSS ILHSM HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH LINDA IS INDEED SO WHOLESOME

AND SOSOSOSOSO TRUE THAT SONG GOD I LOVE THAT SONG IDK WHY ITS SO GOOD BUT IT ISSS

AND OH MY GOD YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE FANON IVE BUILT UP ABOUT ELIZA SHE IS DEFINITELY ONE OF MY FAVORITE ONE-OFF CHARACTERS (AND ALSO I HAVE PROBABLY THE MOST CRACK SHIPS OF ALL CRACK SHIPS W HER, ELIZA X LACIE. THE LESBIAN POTENTIAL IG)

AND THE PALINDROME LORE IS GOOD YEA BUT I FEEL LIKE W THE CAST THEY'VE GOT FOR THAT(I MEAN, EVEN WOUT THE QUEER UNDERTONES, ISABELLA BALJEET AND STACY(AT THE VERY LEAST!!!) ARE RIGHT THERE) ITD JUST FEEL SHITTY AND PATRONIZING. I JUST DONT THINK THATS HOW THEY SHOULD TACKLE IT WHEN THEY HAVE GENUINE MINORITIES THERE COMPARED TO A GOOD PIECE OF BACKGROUND LORE YA KNOW?

AND FERB IS SOSOSSOSOSSOSOSO WONDERFUL IN THIS EP INDEED!!!! ITD BE A LIL WEIRD IF HE WASNT OBVIOUSLY BUT STILL LOL ENBY FERB REAL

ALSO FOR VERY SPECIFIC REASONS IRVING BEING THE ONE OUT OF EVERYONE TO CONVINCE FERB TO COME BACK MEANS THE WORLD TO ME :)

#CANDY-ASKS #CANDY-FRIENDS

[inkofamethyst]

November 3, 2022

I’m skipping class for the first time ever, I think (and, yes, I do feel bad about it).  Today’s more of a discussion day for that class anyway and I have some work to catch up on for it plus I just finished my second of three exams this week and I think it was a bit of a doozy, but I don’t feel horrible about it.  Developmental biology is really really interesting stuff, and I wish I’d spent more time studying lol.  Glad I took the time to record lectures for it this go round!  My prof barely puts explanations on the slides.  Also,,, found out today that half the class doesn’t go to lecture which is funny because I know for a fact I couldn’t learn the material from the slides he posts...

My dad thinks I should apply to a backup Masters, actually.  Which puts me right about back to where I started.  He thinks I should go for an MBA which, sure, is more applicable to a greater diversity of pursuits.  But I’d kinda wanna go for a masters in library/museum studies, actually.  And I know, I know there are so few jobs out there for museum professionals.  I know.  But if I need something to do for a year or two in case I’m not accepted to any of the mere six programs to which I am applying.. I think I’d want it to be something I’d enjoy?  Something that I was looking into doing post-grad school anyway?  

I’m.. I’m getting worried again.  The worries, the nervousnesses are creeping back in.  I do have experience.  I do have wonderful, highly-connected mentors and recommendation-writers.  I suppose I just need the luck to be on my side.

And let’s not gloss over the fact that I missed an assignment.  Fully.  Just.. did not submit it.  The first time I’ve done so in... maybe ever?  A flat-out zero.  And if I don’t hurry up with last week’s assignment for the same class (a synthesis and summary reading response), I could end up with another one.  I do feel a bit overwhelmed with schoolwork while worrying about applications and also the orchestra (I honestly have not taken any real time to practice this whole semester and it shows and it sucks and I feel awful because I feel like I’m letting my section down (I have to clarify that I know this is not a healthy mindset)) and also my volunteer thing (which, frankly, doesn’t take up a ton of time, but still) and my research thing.  I don’t know if it’s the senioritis or what, but I am very much looking forward to next semester’s three-day weekends and comparatively minimal coursework.  I just need a wee break, that’s all.

I only have one ask, one prayer for this application season, and it’s that I end up where I need to be.  In a place that is challenging and fun and stimulating and nurturing.  And, if I had it my way, perhaps a little bit enviable too, but that’s not strictly necessary.

So to return back to the original thought, I don’t know whether I should apply to a backup masters program, actually.  I don’t know if it should be bioanth-based, museum studies, or something more generalized.  And I don’t know how to approach my mentors with the question, either.

I went to an open house for my “reach school” (they’re pretty much all reaches, but this is the major reach ig) and I wanna go there so bad oh my god.  I’m gonna end up in the same boat as I was in four years ago with my undergrad Choice 1 aren’t I lol.  I wanna go there so bad it almost hurts (that’s a hyperbole, as I’m definitely in a better space mentally than I was four years ago, but the basic sentiment stands).

Today I’m thankful that tomorrow’s exam quite literally does not matter for me because I got full marks on the last midterm for the class and one of the two midterms gets dropped, so there’s no incentive for me to try all that hard, honestly.  I’ll still go, I’ll still give a cursory glance over my notes, but I am not at all pressed.

Frankly, I just want to sleep.  Hard.

My body is so tense that I think if anyone were to touch me even gently, if the wind were to blow ever so slightly in my direction, I might shatter like a brittle statue.

[plainemmanem]

I promise you I’m not doing anything exciting with the house alone haha.

I’m personally trying to keep my ‘college experience’ expectations low. On the other hand, my brain is just like red solo cup kissing frat boy Peter Parker fanfic. That was such phase for the TASM girlies. I’m sorry it’s so stressful for you :( I think that means you had a lovely summer though! If you miss it all! It can be your special little summer you keep in your heart. (Is that stupid? I so sorry). I can’t say I relate. My summer was Blegh like every summer since Covid began. Im ready for change because I don’t know who my real friends are. Im sure the folks will love you. You’re really fucking funny and sweet!! Sadly we do have to put ourselves out there to make friends (sincerely, Fuck the social media age for making everyone MORE insecure and less likely to put ourself out in the world. I spit on mark Zuckerberg) but I know you’re strong enough to.

- Bunnnnnny

rambling under the cut 🙂🫶

see im having the exact same dilemma. im creating this college fantasy in my head that is unattainable and it’s gonna hurt when it’s not the same. the worst part is, even if college is amazing like really really good, i’ll still be semi-disappointed if certain things don’t happen. idk if that makes any sense. like i wanna have big group of friends and have certain experiences, etc etc, and if those things don’t happen, im gonna be let down. BUT I DONT WANT TO HAVE THESE UNATTAINABLE SCENARIOS MY BRAIN JUST WONT STOP-

babe i remember the tasm days they were… a moment. for sure.

i can tell you’re very sentimental, like me, you also have a very nice way with words, so you write? you should. you almost brought me to tears with keeping this summer sacred. im also very fragile right now so im a little emotional.

i wish your summer was better, but at least you have school to look forward to! im having the same situation with friends, i feel that happens around college time. everyone changes and you grow apart, or you don’t really like how certain people have become. it’s hard. but it’ll get better i hope<3

i know making friends won’t be bad, but my self esteem has been at an all time low from all sorts of deliciously painful experiences ive had recently, so im feeling nervous and second guessing myself a lot.

ig im just using these last few days to mentally prepare myself to really put myself out there and try to be my old, outgoing self again.

i hate social media. i hate it. i don’t get it i don’t participate i hate it. and everyone relies on it and i hate it. i hate snapchat i hate instagram. i hate texting and talking on the phone. i despise it. that’s another one of my fears for school, falling back into social media — or more likely — being forced back into social media. i hate it. it makes me insecure and upset and i already compare myself far too much to others and i feel it hurts everyone. one of the main reasons my self esteem is low. i fucking hate it. i’m rambling but i’m trying to prove a point.

you’ll be fine, bunny. i can tell you’re very empathetic and kind. you’ll do just fine finding friends :) and if they’re shitty people, they don’t deserve you. i hope you find people who appreciate you, that’s all we can ask for, right?

question (if you feel like answering): what year of college are you going into?