suicide cw
look i have been in this area before mentally. it sucks and i wouldn’t wish this on anyone. but, and this is going to sound callous, but i don’t feel any sympathy for james somerton. even if i hope he’s like. not dead. But thats all the amount of goodwill im willing to give him. The more i think about this really, the more angry i am.
ngl this entire situation is another example of how white people weaponize their mental illness to avoid consequences. Im seeing it in real time.
this man has a continuous habit of using self-harm as a get-out-of-jail-for-free card. in both of his apologies, he has worded his supposed attempts in ways that were clearly meant to guilt people who displayed his plagiarism and overall horrendous history of racism and misogyny. i say supposed because, while i’m not saying those are lies and this would he such a fucked up thing to lie about that i don’t want to think he has, unfortunately, it’s been proven again and again that his word can’t be trusted, as he’s known to lie to try get out of consequences. Hes a proven liar. him lying about this is actually the best case scenario, because no one should go through this entire situation, wouldnt wish this on anyone, but you can only do this so often before people stop sympathizing with you. is this callous? Yeah, but like. I’m actually fucking angry he cant straight up take no as an answer. that this is how he reacts realizing he cant be one of the Cool Kidz™️ on youtube anymore. he acts like he DESERVES a career, like its not a privilege hes lost due to his own actions.
He lied about apologizing and forgiving people, he lied about giving the money to hbomberguy to give to ppl he ripped off (yknow, instead of doing it himself), he lied about the jessie gender situation and rewrote the narrative to make it so he isnt the bad guy, and hes the victim all along actually!
you can’t tell me that supposed last message of his isn’t meant to be a 13 reasons why esq attempt to deflect the blame “look i’m going to kill myself and it’s all YOUR PEOPLES FAULT for not letting me achieve my DREAM of being filmmaker IN PEACE!!! I just wanted Nick’s (the guy who I have thrown under the bus again and again) portfolio up!! Im just being a good friend dont you all FEEL BAD” he refuses to take ANY ACCOUNTABILITY of any of his actions and he IS STILL trying to shove the blame over to other people again.
it’s also pretty ironic people are like “uhhh well hbomber’s fans harassed him!!!” like hbomber outright told people NOT to HARASS JAMES!!! ALSO acting as if james doesn’t have a very real documented history of STRAIGHT UP sending his fans to harass and threaten smaller creators, more notably women, trans, and bipoc creators. especially after he’s stolen typically very personal anecdotes so he could profit from them. so why can he do it but the second people are like “hey this guys an actual piece of shit.” and he can’t handle it suddenly people are trying to white knight his shit? like no he doesn’t get that. he doesn’t get that at all just because he couldn’t handle the consequences of his actions.
what? were supposed to stay quiet about a man profiting off of other minorities because he wanted to be the spokesman for all gay people? people tried to solve this on a smaller, more private scales for YEARS and he kept doing it. it was clear that the giant public video was the ONLY way to get people to notice. HE WOULDVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH STEALING 87 FUCKING THOUSANDS WORTH OF DOLLARS. HE CANT HANDLE THE FACT HE CANT GET AWAY WITH IT.
am i supposed to feel bad for the guy who basically threatened a trans woman with the police? i don’t care what anyone says, it’s so fucking obvious that he threatened jessie by implying he was getting the police involved in their conflict. what am i supposed to act like that didn’t happen? are we supposed to pretend like he didn’t glorify nazi’s and outright said that gay people made up a good chunk of the nazis? That he didnt say america joined ww2 bc they were jealous of the NAZIS. WHAT WOULD POSSESS YOU TO FUCKING SAY THAT. but then? He gives women (not even women most of the time, he misgenders nonbinary ppl constantly) shit for writing mlm. are we supposed to act like he doesn’t straight-up sees himself superior and better than people of color and steals their works to put himself on a pedestal? Are we supposed to act like he didnt spit on our elders by saying “only the boring gays survived aids” like man! Fuck you! He BLANTANTLY MAKES UP HISTORY TO PUT HIMSELF ON A PEDESTAL!! HE ACTIVELY TRIED TO REWRITE LGBT HISTORY TO SUIT HIS FUCKED UP NARRATIVES!
yes this sucks ! no one deserves this but no one should be making him a martyr. Thats what he fucking WANTS! He wants to be immortalized as a victim!! (again, supposedly, it was reported hes alive but its not confirmed).
The shit he got isnt near the amount of fucking callous behavior hes done again and again. Again, to drill this point, EVEN IF HE DIDNT CALL THE POLICE HE THREATENED A TRANS WOMAN INTO THINKING HE DID!!! The fact he tried to use a head injury to justify years of the outright ghoulish shit fucking astounds me. Why the fuck did anyone in his life thought it was a good idea to let him TRY to come back. in the end, he had options. he didn’t need to try to make a comeback. HE DIDNT NEED TO FUCKING LIE OR IGNORE THE SHIT HE WAS CALLED OUT ON the reality is, he wanted to come back thinking he could shove it under the rug, was told that no dude, you’re not allowed to be a youtuber anymore. you’re done. you need to move on and went full nuclear. it’s not on anyone’s hands but his own. HES BEEN DOING THIS TO HIMSELF!! But nah man we cant call his shit out bc hell may or may not kill himself. Fuck the other minorities who have the same issues but worse and sometimes BECAUSE of him. This is going to SUCKKKK so bad when other ppl, specifically white gays, are going to weaponize this shit to get away with their stuff.
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DELILAH TIME DELILAH TIME
here she is. officially. my beloved fallout 4 oc delilah !!!! first piece done by @zetobii and the second by @leavingautumn13
i dont draw so all art of delilah comes from my dear friends who draw her for me/with their ocs and tell me i can post it OR from commissions. what i can do, however, is write <3 and make playlists and pinterest boards for visuals <3 so prepare urself <3
speaking of which, you can find her playlist here and her pinterest board here!! theyre chronological, so listening/scrolling in order should more or less tell her story too
ok so: her appearance, personality, stats, story, and some fun facts are here under the cut (its a lot fyi ok i just love her so much) pls enjoy
delilah lore (delilore?) be upon ye:
appearance:
24 years old, 5’10”
very fair skinned with bright green eyes and jet black hair
her hair is wavy and flows down to the middle of her back. she has one small braid behind her right ear
covered in freckles, from her nose to her knees. she has a tiny scar above her mouth from a past split lip and a slit in her opposite eyebrow from a past black eye
midriff is heavily discolored from past bruises - the pigmentation never fully went away - and marred with keloid scars from deep cuts from things she refuses to talk about. if her dress has a high enough slit, bruises can peek out near the very tops of her legs
large black kingsnake tattoo wrapping up a her left arm with its head near her shoulder and its tail near/on her hand
she can almost always be found in her wine-colored silk dress that reaches only about mid-thigh, nails manicured and lips painted to match. it has spaghetti straps and is loosely bodycon.
she wears stacks of gold rings (as many as possible, really) and dangly gold snake earrings
the only things she keeps on her person are the dagger and the gun strapped to her thighs under her dress. her gun was a gift from KL-E-0. it is a custom gold-plated, silenced 10mm. lilah named it "Mine"
stats:
if fo4 had a karma slider, lilah would land pretty firmly on evil. on a dnd alignment chart, think chaotic neutral or neutral evil
SPECIAL: 2, 8, 2, 10, 7, 4, 3
she's not strong nor has much endurance, but when you're as smart, perceptive, and charismatic as she is, you can charm people into carrying your stuff for you anyway.
her perks are party girl (alcohol/chem resistance), black widow (damage/persuasion against men), night person (higher int at night), and intimidation (pacify, instruct, and force opponents to attack). and deacon's cloak and dagger, of course.
personality:
cold, calculated, distant
cares about very, very few people (and even fewer things) but is fiercely loyal to those people. she's a railroad agent, but only because deacon cares about the cause and she begrudgingly cares about deacon
she and deacon clash. he refused to even vouch for her admission to the railroad. she gets along much better with glory, but she still gets assigned to run jobs with deacon because they keep each other in check and are deadly efficient as a pair (theyre also in love but they keep it a secret from everyone including each other)
she cares about very very few people but it fiercely loyal to those people. she is a railroad agent, but only because deacon cares about the cause and she "begrudgingly" cares about deacon (she cares literally so much do not let her fool u)
her moral compass is not magnetic. right and wrong is whatever she wants it to be. she takes no issue killing people if they wrong her. sexual harassment or subterfuge/targeted deception send marks to the top of her hit list.
her story:
her birth name is allie eden
she is not a sole survivor; she was born into the capital wasteland chapter of the brotherhood of steel. despite sentinel lyons' best efforts, delilah responded far better to scribe training than to combat training
she and arthur maxson were the only two kids in the citadel, and they became fast friends, even after the lyons pride crumbled and maxson was appointed elder.
he appointed her his sentinel, second in command, which she embraced until she saw how terribly the wasteland was faring under his leadership.
she promptly absconded and, because she had been so sheltered until that day, quickly lost herself to chems and alcohol.
months passed in, thanks to all the blackouts, what felt like hours. one night, allie woke up in a warm bed that she did not fall asleep in. a man named dante deangelo had pulled her body from a D.C. gutter and made sure she was safe.
in no time, they fell in love and decided to escape to the commonwealth. they found a small, basement apartment in goodneighbor and allie began tending bar at the third rail.
dante, slowly but surely, became more abusive. he left bruises and deep cuts on her body anywhere her third rail uniform would cover. she stayed, though, because she'd been raised by the brotherhood to believe that love was harsh and painful. to obey without question. to submit to authority.
eventually, she tired of that life and snapped, killing dante before he could leave any more marks on her. something... shifted. maybe it was allie eden who entered their apartment that morning, but it was delilah who left it that night.
KL-E-0, who was quite fond of allie and is far fonder of delilah, fitted her with pistol, Mine.
instead of hiding behind the bar like she had when she was with dante, she began to use it to her advantage. every dusty drifter with full pockets full of caps left her bar empty handed. but it wasnt enough.
she began targeting triggermen, who she knew were peddling chems for... someone in goodneighbor. the moment a man started flirting with her (which she hated), it was like a red dot sight appeared on their foreheads. she'd seduce them, take them back to her apartment, get her caps and chems and information, and the men would never be seen again.
morowski, goodneighbor kingpin, eventually approached her at work about his shrinking pool of chem peddlers. they struck a deal: he would slip her into his operation as his newest arm candy, and she would peddle his chems at her bar.
it worked flawlessly until morowski actually fell in love with her. go figure. unless, of course, that was lilah's plan all along...
while she's still participating in this farce with morowski, she meets drummer boy, who she ends up truly enjoying the company of even despite her general distaste for men. eventually, he convinces her to join the railroad with him
because morowski is in love with delilah, she has no issue squeezing information out of him when deacon asks her to: morowski is an institute informant. lilah quickly, uh, deals with that problem, and the next days, morowski is found dead in his office at the rexford. cause of death: self inflicted gunshot wound. what a tragedy.
because delilah was his "other half," his unofficial widow, she inherited morowski's whole chem operation
now, she happily spends her days directing the triggermen and tending her bar - for fun and for information, at this point, because she certainly doesnt need the caps. when she needs to run for the railroad or her beloved friends need her professional black widow skills, whitechapel charlie is "happy" to cover for her. as happy as he can manage, anyway.
fun facts:
she is terrified of storms, heights, and violent outbursts from people she trusts
her name comes from the bible story of sampson and delilah, where delilah is paid by the government to seduce sampson (a man of god) and tempt him to sin by telling her what gives him his inhuman strength. after three attempts, she is successful. sampson tells her that god gives him his strength through his hair. she then cuts his hair, which ultimately leads to his death. i mean what a bad bitch
she is still deeply unhappy even after she wraps goodneighbor around her finger because she still doesnt know who she is
she's skeptical of maxson's move to the commonwealth. she is very much on the run from him (and the bortherhood as a whole), and ham happily vets drifters for her to ensure theyre not undercover brotherhood before letting them into the bar.
she and maccready arent exactly "friends" but they harbor mutual respect for each other since they spend so much time together. mac had to call her off like a guard dog when winlock and barnes paid him a visit, so shes confident he would do the same if the brotherhood ever came knocking.
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