LBTE: Jared (128-129)
The fucking Scouts, man. And we end the Jared on the move arc. Next up: Bryce on the move arc!
If you want to read along, series page is here.
128. Outclassed
Jared drives home half-asleep, finds a very sleepy Bryce on the couch waiting up for him.
“Go to bed,” Jared says, pokes him up to their room and then follows suit.
Bryce wanted to stay up and celebrate with him. In reality he just ended up getting poked into bed in the two minutes before they were both snoozing.
He wakes up at ten-forty five — the latest he’s gotten up since the postseason started — to a kiss to the forehead, a cup of coffee handed to him, the immediate awareness that the Nucks did it, they’ve got at least another round to battle through. As ways to wake up go, it’s pretty fucking great.
Bryce is so good at husbanding, especially now that it’s his offseason: full time husband and covert Canucks fan until training starts.
Bryce isn’t offended by Jared living hockey, and it’s actually helpful as hell to have him right there beside him. Bryce watches the earlier Avs games with him, arm slung over Jared’s shoulder, making smart observations, has advice for Jared before and after every game. It’s like having a game tape coach and a husband all in one, it’s terrific.
Full time husband. Hockey smarts included.
It’s a hard fought, ugly series that takes a few of the Canucks with it, Dmitry unfortunately one of them — Jared guesses the line’s still cursed, though he’s selfishly glad he’s not the latest to fall victim to that — but the Canucks scrape out a win in seven, and they’re going to the Western Conference Finals, which is an incredible fucking feeling.
Yay!
Jared can’t say he’s surprised by who they’re going to be facing.
He can’t say he’s particularly pleased about it either.
Such a quick fall from yay.
“Okay,” Bryce says. “Here’s the lowdown about the Scouts.”
“Fuck the Scouts?” Jared says.
“Fuck the Scouts,” Bryce says. “But seriously.”
I mean, basically.
And then Jared’s getting something that isn’t quite a rant but is basically an insider report on pretty much all of the Scouts, because Bryce is clearly still pissed about that series, and he’s got a MENSA level hockey IQ. He was up against the first line, which Jared isn’t going to be facing much if at all, but he was apparently paying very close attention on the bench as well, and at a certain point Jared starts taking literal notes on his phone, trying to keep up.
When holding grudges comes in handy.
“Hey!” Jared says, torn from strategy. “You talking about my new Premier?”
“Holy fuck,” Stephen says after a moment. “No offence but if you voted for him him I’m kicking you out of our house right now.”
Jared takes no offence. “Obviously I didn’t fucking vote for him,” Jared says. “Dude’s a corrupt megalomaniac with an oil rig where his heart should be.”
We now interrupt your story for political propaganda. But like — from a policy standpoint, every statement here is accurate, up to and including the oil rig heart (Jason Kenney resigned in disgrace only to be replaced by someone worse somehow -- the conservative way -- and is now on the board of directors of an energy company. No one could have possibly foreseen this.)
“Are we talking about Kenney?” Bryce complains. “Politics are boring.”
“Politics are how we were able to get married, B,” Jared says,
Of note that Jason Kenney was virulently homophobic.
(He still is, I'm sure, but now he isn’t making homophobic policy decisions -- that’s the job of his successor!)
“These kids,” Gabe says to Stephen. “Bet they don’t even remember when gay marriage was legalised.”
“I do,” Bryce protests. “Sort of.”
Jared shrugs. “I was a little kid?” he says. “I wasn’t really paying attention.”
Jared once again hurting Stephen with his youth. Gay marriage was legalized in Canada in July 2005. Jared was 6. Bryce 9. Gabe and Stephen 14.
“Get out of my house,” Stephen says, but he says that all the time, and Jared no longer listens to him. Well, he probably genuinely meant it if Jared was a UCP supporter, but obviously Jared isn’t — he was raised by hobgoblins, not actual monsters. “Now let’s do Ford.”
God, let’s not — I’ll be here all fucking week.
“While I enjoy trashing Doug Ford as much as the next Ontarian,” Gabe says.
Not so much that they didn’t vote for more! Not going to lie, I’m still coping pretty hard with the fact the majority of my fellow Ontarians either voted for this guy a second time, or didn’t bother to get off their asses because his opponents weren’t ‘inspiring’. Is that on the Ontario Libs and NDP too? Yep. On ‘Rae Days’ BS and Liberals always talking strategic voting, but only if that means NDP voters vote for them? Sure. But for fuck’s sakes, everyone who didn’t vote essentially cast a ballot for everything Ford has done since, including the multi-billion dollar racketeering he’s being investigated for by the RCMP. But Rae Days.
Okay. Off my soap box.
“Stephen’s a lot,” Bryce says, all blink-y about it. Stephen isn’t even being extra Stephen, he’s just normal level Stephen, but then, Jared probably has a higher tolerance for snide, since he so often is himself.
Inoculation!
Though you’d think Bryce would be used to it too, considering who he’s married to. Maybe he’s just got immunity to Jared’s particular brand of it after enough exposure.
Jared and Stephen are similarly snide but not identically, Bryce only has Jared immunity. He gets very blink-y around Julius too. I’d say he has Erin immunity too but Erin isn’t even a hobgoblin with Bryce unless he dares suggest she and Jared have any similarities whatsoever, in which case she proves his point for him by getting extremely huffy about it just like Jared does.
“I believed you,” Bryce protests. “But he’s so — mean. He told me my hair was stupid.”
The first time Stephen calls Bryce’s hair Disney Prince hair. Bryce hasn’t realised it’s a compliment, as Stephen says it in a mean voice.
“His hair’s stupid,” Bryce mutters. “And he called me a cradle robber! And kept calling me Coach Bryce!”
I mean…
Jared was there for that, but he thought it was more because Bryce was like, coaching them through strategy. In hindsight it is more likely Stephen pointing out that Bryce was, in fact, Jared’s coach when they met, albeit tenuously. Jared really never should have told Stephen that. He’s never going to let it go.
Jared also understands a little better why Bryce scowled at him when Jared joined Stephen in calling him Coach Bryce.
Still fucking dying that Jared accidentally joined Stephen in roasting Bryce.
“You make a very good coach though,” Jared says, putting a soothing hand on Bryce’s arm.
Bryce scowls.
He knows you’re about say something mean, Jared, he’s been inoculated!
“Just don’t sleep with any other prospects, I’d be super—” Jared breaks off to protect himself from a half-tackle from Bryce, laughing as Bryce gets a jab in to his side.
Jared’s true love language: play wrestling.
“No PDA on the Markson-Petersen property,” Stephen says.
Jared opens his mouth, considering Gabe kissed Stephen right in front of them like twenty minutes ago. Bryce went adorably pink about it.
Literally the first time Bryce has personally witnessed two guys kissing (I mean, not involving him, obvs), and it’s people he KNOWS. Low key a big moment for him.
“He’s so mean,” Bryce mumbles. “That wasn’t even PDA, I wrestle with Chaz all the time.”
Jared would raise an eyebrow, but he thinks he’d get tackled again. Plus he also used to wrestle with Chaz all the time. Chaz loves a good wrestling match. Jared’s wrestling matches with Chaz have a distinctly different tenor to them than his grappling with Bryce, particularly when Bryce decides he isn’t going to let Jared win. Stephen was maybe not off about the PDA part.
Chaz’s love language is also play wrestling, but not like that. Bro love. Bruv.
Jared hears a lock click, though he’s not too worried. Gabe will intercede if he has to.
Spoken like someone who has frequently locked doors on his little sister, who had to be let in by Don or Susan. Or been locked out by said sister. Or, you know, the time they were both locked out by their mother so they couldn’t eavesdrop on Bryce asking for their blessing. A family affair.
“I know,” Jared says. It’d be bad walking into a series thinking you didn’t.
“We didn’t,” Bryce says.
Another win for the brain to mouth filter!
The Scouts are a juggernaut, but the Canucks are no slouch either.
The Scouts are better.
Every fucking time. Dynasties, man. (They haven’t even won their first Cup at this point; they’re going to be so much more annoying when they’re winning their third.)
Jared hopes it’s the Caps and Raf scores the game winning goal and does a fly by giving the finger to Williams and Simcoe. That doesn’t sound like a particularly Raf move
Robbie, though…
…but Jared’s not exactly being reasonable right now, all raw scraped nerves and hurt and a fucked up shoulder from a hard hit by Angelopoulos that probably should have sidelined him, but didn’t because it was the playoffs.
The first injury of Jared by a main cast member from a different series. But not the last.
Jared does his stupid painful exercises for the stiffness, gets out of packing anything because, well, shoulder, so it’s Bryce who’s doing it while Jared supervises and occasionally insults his packing decisions just to get that huffy Bryce sigh.
Yet another love language: intentionally bugging Bryce.
Jared’s in his parents’ kitchen with Erin when he hears the whoop from the living room, Bryce and his dad, mom lost under how loud they are, and him and Erin shuffle out to watch the Caps surge over the boards to dogpile their goalie.
Bryce and Don bonding on Team Fuck the Scouts.
Grace is clutch, and the group chat has a number of pictures of the partying the next morning. There’s a picture of Raf and Chapman looking absolutely shitfaced and more than half-asleep that’s particularly good, and Jared makes sure to save it for the purpose of mockery. Another very unflattering one Raf and Kurmazov the Senior, and Jared saves that one to send to Dmitry so he may use it for the purposes of mockery.
Look, Jared’s putting aside his feelings for Dmitry to help him be an annoying little brother, bless. Also that picture of Raf and David is adorable.
the salve of falling asleep in the same bed, of Bryce hitting his alarm immediately and trying to sneak around in the mornings so he doesn’t wake Jared up, Jared pretending he’s still asleep so Bryce doesn’t feel guilty, Bryce probably pretending he actually thinks Jared’s asleep
The softest game of deception devised since peek-a-boo.
129. Sabbatical
Summer’s — summer’s summer.
Very eloquent, Jared. (He doesn’t know how to describe the bone deep relief he feels falling asleep with and waking up beside Bryce, mixed with the grunt work of training, tempered by the fact he’s doing it with some of his favourite people, and they all get to hang out together after(!), Jared has a friend group(!) but also he’s not playing hockey which low key makes everything feel kind of off. So. Summer’s summer.)
Grace has cut her hair really short, and Raf’s done the opposite, letting his grow out, and Ash got a tattoo — her and Bryce bitch about the pain for a bit — but they’re basically all the same as they were a year ago, all feel like home to him even though Calgary only gets to be home in the offseason.
Grace looks great, Raf looks low-key terrible (Cup. Parties. plus the whole road to the Cup in the first place, man is battered.) and Ashley’s tattoo is fire. Not literally, thank fuck; that’d definitely make Chaz getting traded more awkward.
Jared goes up to Edmonton to visit Julius when he pops in for a week for dumb media stuff
I like that it’s completely unclear whether that’s Jared editorializing with ‘dumb media stuff’, or if Julius has been referring to it that way himself.
while Bryce has a ridiculous staycation thing with Erin — that’s code for renting a hotel suite all of a couple blocks from Bryce and Jared’s place for no purpose other than splashing around the pool, and Erin dragging Bryce from store to store and Bryce not even looking at price tags before handing the cashier his credit card, but Bryce was insistent on Erin getting something for her high school graduation, so whatever. Jared and Julius do absolutely nothing while Jared’s there except eat and watch TV and bitch about media and tell each other when they find something funny on the internet. It’s great.
The First Time Erin Makes Twitter Incoming. And Julius and Jared entirely oblivious in Edmonton (this is before Erin and Julius get together, for the record)
It’s honestly such a sweet thing for Bryce to do for Erin’s graduation, and frankly it sucks that it blows up in his face. Bryce did nothing wrong! (For once, says Dave.)
After their anniversary — Bryce buys him too much as usual, Jared does too this year, most currently living in a box in their closet that Bryce goes slightly pink looking at, and he looks often
Jared’s stinginess once again not applying to sex toys, which Bryce appreciates.
— they fly back so Jared can sign the lease and move some stuff out of Elaine’s and and Bryce can visit with Elaine and Gordie and Gail for a bit, do some early birthday stuff with them.
This is the other half of the sex toy sentence, what a fucking segue, Jared. Sex toy reference right before wholesome times with the Marcuses.
Jared’s new apartment is in a good location, not far from Gabe and Stephen’s house, which is pretty much perfectly placed between the practice rink, arena, and airport.
It's in Shaughnessy. Canucks practice at the University of British Columbia (they don’t have their own practice facilities). Triangulation was not by distance, but average commute in traffic and not in traffic (yes, he made the drives, and yes, he bought a real life stop watch and Stephen made fun of him incessantly for this. Does he not have a stop watch on his phone? Come on Gabriel. Gabe would argue, correctly, that he should not be on his phone while driving).
Also he fudged his results and picked somewhere closer to UBC because Stephen was going there at the time, or he would have likely gone for Mt Pleasant or South Main. Stephen is aware. Gabe is aware Stephen is aware. It is not discussed. They like their house, no plans on moving.
Getting a house around there will run you a couple million bucks, because Vancouver, so Jared, known opposite of a big spender, has decided to rent an apartment.
Jared can absolutely see Gabe doing that. Appreciates that Gabe did that. Jared was just google mapping it, Gabe’s test seems like better data.
He FUDGED THE DATA FOR LOVE, JARED. IT IS ALL A LIE.
He likes his place, likes it better when Bryce is in it, helping him put together a dining room table he’ll probably never use,
I am not sure if this dining room table even appears in the story again, it is so underutilized. Generally they eat on the couch (or at the kitchen island, but that's just coffee and breakfast, mostly). If paperwork needs to be done it gets used. That's about it.
“You are literally going to spend the next two days with me,” Jared says when Bryce looks particularly kicked puppy as Jared packs his laptop, which was an anniversary present he did not actually need. At least Erin appreciated getting Jared’s barely even past warranty old one as a university present.
Bold of you to assume that wasn’t Bryce’s plan all along so you aren’t all ‘you can’t buy Erin a laptop, Bryce’, ‘you’ve given Erin more than enough already, Bryce’, ‘stop buying my horrible sister things, Bryce’.
“I can pout whenever I want to, you’re not the boss of me,” Bryce mutters.
“That’s not true,” Jared says. Jared is very much the boss of him and they both know it.
Bryce appreciated his anniversary gifts.
“Nope,” Jared says when Bryce’s hands start creeping under his shirt. “I need to get this done, I don’t want to get halfway to Vancouver before I realise I forgot something important.”
“Flames are going to be in Vancouver in two weeks,” Bryce says.
“No guarantee you’d be playing that game,” Jared says.
“If I’m not I could send it with Chaz,” Bryce says, and before Jared can protest that Chaz might not either, “Canucks are in Calgary right after too.”
Jared doesn’t know if it’s Bryce being stubbornly logical or the fact that Bryce said all of that while unbuttoning and unzipping Jared’s shorts that sways him. Obviously a combination.
‘Keep talking workarounds for possible setbacks, baby, that’s so hot’. But like. Unironically.
After the first leg of the trip they land up in the best hotel you can get in the dead land between Revelstoke and Kamloops, which is not saying much
It’s in Sicamous and it’s a Best Western.
Mere years ago he was lucky if it was a hotel instead of a motel and he was stuck with an asshole roommate who talked in his sleep, and now he’s turning his nose up at a three star hotel.
It’s technically a four star, Jared, you gigantic snob. Also it looks nice enough, honestly, so either it’s been renovated and upped a star since I checked, or I was being lazy in my Revelstoke to Kamloops accommodations due diligence.
“How hard will you judge me if I ask to get back in the car and keep driving?” Bryce asks. “Because Salmon Arm has a decent hotel.”
“How far’s Salmon Arm?” Jared asks.
“Twenty minutes, half an hour?” Bryce says.
Salmon Arm does NOT have a four star hotel. This is a downgrade from that Best Western in Sicamous. As it is now. Possibly not back when I was doing research.
Bryce waits in the car when Jared gets their room, which ends up being a really fucking good call because the front desk clerk is clearly a big Canucks fan, recognises Jared before he even hands her his credit card. Jared texts Bryce a frantic ‘shelter in place’, getting a bunch of question marks in reply, and then he has to go out and sneak him in a side entrance lest he have to explain why he’s sharing a room with one king bed with The Enemy, so that’s great. This is a great trip. Jared’s really enjoying this trip.
THIS is a non chain inn. It’s kind of dated, but like, fine.
“Quit grumbling and tell me what you want from room service,” Bryce yawns.
Jared quits grumbling long enough to order a club sandwich, then resumes grumbling.
I genuinely remember looking at a room service menu for accuracy but now there is no room service. So either I am making this all up or they’ve gone downhill. But then, this was written in 2020, when more places may have had room service for pandemic related reasons. It DOES have an in house restaurant, unlike all other Salmon Arm-y places, so it very possibly did offer room service.
This is bothering me now. I am bothered. Petty grudge against Salmon Arm unlocked.
“Summers gave me a few excuses if things were like, asked,” Bryce says. “Mutual friends with Chaz, met years ago at a camp and still hang out, stuff like that.”
“That’s all true, though,” Jared says.
“Yeah but isn’t like, ‘we’re super in love’,” Bryce says. “Which I think was the part Summers wants to avoid.”
Dave has very low expectations about Bryce’s ability to make up a story, and I think that is extremely fair, to be honest.
“Would you be cool with me coming out to my team?” Jared says. “Not like the level of what Gabe knows or anything, just like, not hiding the fact I married a dude.”
Bryce is quiet. “Can I think about it?” he asks finally.
“Yeah,” Jared says.
“I know you — you can come out to anyone you want to, that’s like, your right,” Bryce says.
“I know,” Jared says.
“I need to think about it,” Bryce says.
This is so much progress! Bryce not reflexively saying no! Bryce acknowledging that Jared has autonomy in how he represents himself to others! Actually thinking about it!
“Yeah but I’m a BC boy now,” Jared says.
“I’m a BC boy,” Bryce mutters.
“Nope,” Jared says. “We swapped.”
“You can’t just be a BC boy,” Bryce says, sounding genuinely agitated. “You have to earn it. And you can’t be a BC boy: you don’t even like sushi.”
I love you and the things that bother you, Bryce Marcus.
“Your teammates,” Bryce says, and Jared looks up from his phone. “If you want to tell them you can. Like. The husband thing not the—”
“Not the you being my husband bit,” Jared assures him.
“Okay,” Bryce says, blows out a breath, then another one.
“You sure?” Jared asks.
Bryce takes a hand off the steering wheel to give Jared a so-so.
PROGRESS!!!
“Can we take this exit?” he asks.
“Uh,” Jared says. “We’re like an hour away.”
Bryce gives him a glance.
“I told you to piss when we got lunch,” Jared mutters.
“And you were right and I was wrong,” Bryce mutters back.
Married. Also — end of yet another arc.
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