#genuinely babbles lol

[anghraine]

#personally I headcanon Darcy as being demi or grey-ace #he doesn't seem to feel physical attraction to Lizzy until her personality captures him #which may help to explain his confusion over Bingley's falling for Jane #he can aesthetically appreciate she's the prettiest girl in the room #but intellectually that means nothing to him #insert Cronk gif #by all accounts it doesn't make sense (via @kungfunurse)

That’s also my headcanon, haha. /fistbump

My very long ramblings about grey-romantic grey-ace Darcy under the cut:

I think that initially, Darcy understands beauty a) aesthetically and b) as a status symbol. So he can see that Jane is the most beautiful woman in the room, and is kind of insulted that Bingley dances with her while trying to fob Darcy off on a less good-looking woman, but Darcy himself is not attracted to anyone at that point. He makes zero attempt to dance with Jane at the assembly, or indeed, ever. After the assembly, his only takeaway from her is that she’s pretty but smiles too much.

It could just be that she’s not his type or whatever, but the fact that he does specifically mention Jane’s beauty while evidently feeling zero attraction to it (sorry, Mary Russell Mitford!) seems more customary for him. This seems to be more or less Mr Bennet’s read on him, incidentally. One of the reasons he (Mr Bennet) finds Mr Collins’s letter about Darcy so funny is because he thinks Darcy “never looks at any woman but to see a blemish.”

And it’s true that Darcy’s earliest response to Elizabeth’s figure is like “hmm. asymmetrical.” Yeah, maybe he’s just an overly critical asshole, but my headcanon is that he’s genuinely disinterested most of the time and that he’s inhaled enough patriarchy that it’s easier for him to attribute this to other people’s physical appearances than his own nature. (So, still an overly critical asshole, but for somewhat more complicated reasons.)

And even once Darcy does begin to feel attracted to Elizabeth, his response is to just hover nearby and listen to her talk to other people in order to work himself up to talking to her himself. She finds this distinctly weird. Maybe he’s just that awkward, but given that he’s at least twenty-seven at that point and doesn’t seem to know how to handle the earliest stages of a crush, I think grey-ace is a very valid reading.

He also firmly asserts that he never dances with anyone, anywhere, if he can avoid it, and in literally the same conversation, is willing to dance with Elizabeth. So again, there’s the possibility that this whole experience is actually pretty exceptional for him.

It’s still fairly early on when she shows up at Netherfield and blindsides him, and in the Netherfield scenes he’s already like I have NEVER been so bewitched by a woman before, wtf. So he’s been ... slightly bewitched by a woman/women before, presumably, but given that this is still far short of where he’s at by the time he proposes, it seems to have been pretty minimal (and I suspect infrequent) before Elizabeth. Still easy to read as grey-ace.

He makes a remark about admiring Caroline’s and Elizabeth’s figures, but the context is that Darcy is reading while Caroline keeps trying to attract him. She starts walking around to show off her very good figure, but Darcy remains “inflexibly studious,” so in desperation, she gets Elizabeth to join her in order to draw his attention. She succeeds in that goal, but both Darcy and Elizabeth find the whole thing deeply suspicious, and Darcy is mostly just being snide about Caroline’s motives + not quite rude enough to say that he’s only interested in Elizabeth’s figure (though this is clearly the case in the larger scene).

Darcy does worry that, by arguing with Elizabeth a few times, he’s leading her on and thus goes out of his way to ignore her. There are multiple ways to explain his thought process here, but I think the combination of his arrogance, his principles, his poor judgment of others’ emotions, and his relative inexperience with what he’s feeling all contribute. He’s never been this attracted before and he still has a long way to go.

Although the miscommunication goes both ways in Kent, I think it’s fair to say that he continues to handle the situation fairly poorly. Again there are multiple reasons, but one of them is that he doesn’t seem to know exactly what he’s doing or planning until fairly late, and he thinks what he feels by the time he proposes is the “utmost force of passion” and that he can struggle against it no longer. It obviously turns out that he can, since the proposals are like six months apart, but at the time, it feels overwhelming to him, well beyond where he was at Netherfield, when it was more then he’d ever felt in his life.

ALSO he makes a kind of intriguing remark about Bingley in the letter. He says that he didn’t really take Bingley’s interest in Jane seriously until he(Darcy) was explicitly told that everyone expected an engagement, because “I had often seen him in love before.” There are also a lot of ways to read this, depending on how sympathetic you are to Darcy or Bingley.

I personally find it very believable that Bingley has had a lot of shallow infatuations and every time the girl in question is the most beautiful girl he has ever seen blah blah blah. Even Elizabeth refers to Jane’s beauty reanimating Bingley’s affections late in the novel (but I think it’s Elizabeth’s POV and not an omniscient statement). In any case, maybe it doesn’t take that much for him to fall in love, for a certain value of “love” (this is possibly backed up by Colonel Fitzwilliam’s opinion, though that may be filtered through Darcy).

But it’s interesting that someone as usually precise as Darcy would refer to those kinds of entanglements as being in love, even though it’s clear that these previous romances are distinct from Bingley’s considerably deeper feelings for Jane. It’s also interesting that, through the rest of the novel, Elizabeth very consistently and emphatically characterizes Darcy’s feelings for her at this point as love and Darcy nowhere suggests that he did not truly love her then. In fact, the phrasing of his second proposal suggests the opposite, that his affection for her has not changed since the first proposal.

My point here is that I’m not saying that Darcy proposes only because of his overwhelming sexual attraction to Elizabeth, which in this interpretation is felt all the more strongly because it’s rare for him to feel at all and unprecedented for him to feel to this extent. The novel is pretty insistent that he did love her then, and despite his anger and bitterness in the letter, by the end it’s clear that his love for her is overriding them. Nevertheless, it’s important to note that his conduct in this scene is ... let’s say, not particularly loving, even though we don’t “hear” the bulk of the proposal, and even though it’s possible that Elizabeth takes it in the worst possible light.

I think that, while Darcy’s society and background give him at least a vocabulary of sorts for sexual attraction, his concept of romantic love seems ... off. He associates romantic love with poetry, bewitchment, captivation, Bingley’s polite infatuations. It’s all kind of unreal. My reading of him at this point is that he is genuinely in love with Elizabeth, but also that he doesn’t fully understand what romantic love is except in a kind of abstract, courtly-literary way that doesn’t accurately represent what he’s feeling.

Part of that may be his social circle, in which more or less arranged marriages are still a thing (I’ve never cared for the fanon that his parents married for love and he’s holding out for it from the outset, both bc it’s not the vibe I get from the Darcy-Fitzwilliam-de Bourgh dynamic in general, and bc I think it undercuts some of his character arc). But I can imagine him thinking, well, of course I’ll marry a woman of appropriate background and connections and political affiliations and beauty and personal refinement and so forth, at some point, eventually. But he seems to feel no particular urgency, and my headcanon is that he’s just not that into it in general until Elizabeth.

Again, this is not the only way to read him, but I do think it’s a very possible reading. I see him as someone who doesn’t fully understand the power of either attraction or romantic love, whose understanding of both is fairly abstracted, and who would never have imagined that they could affect him in the way they end up doing.

#anghraine babbles #genuinely babbles lol #austen blogging #ace headcanons #lady anne blogging #otp of otps #/ #// #/// #//// #///// #a #b #c #d #e #fitzwilliam darcy #elizabeth bennet #anghraine's headcanons #long post #kungfunurse #respuestas

[natalieleif]

I know Jack and Maddie's relationship in canon is probably MEANT to be seen--depending on the episode--as a pretty bog-standard, 2000s-era "idiot big dad and exasperated, smart wife who puts up with him" trope.

BUT

my personal favorite interpretation is that BOTH are equally genius engineers who are also equally on the autistic spectrum, with a specific hyperfixation on ghosts and mad science.

The main difference is that Maddie has siblings and female social expectations, so she had to learn how to mask in ways that are seen as sociable and polite and attractive and "smart." When she does bumble major social cues (such as not recognizing Vlad's flirting until Danny points it out decades later, or humiliating her kids by showing up in a hazmat suit at school), it feels more "socially acceptable" from her.

She genuinely loves Jack because he could not care less about her being Feminine or Socially Acceptable. He just wants to shout with her about ghosts! So the nanosecond she's around him she can yank the mask off and go chasing spirits with a toaster turned into a machine gun.

#danny phantom #jack fenton #maddie fenton #leif babbles #i honestly could go on for pages about this but I'll stop myself lol #like i don't think she meant to shun Vlad in the hospital for decades; i think she genuinely forgor that it's a social expectation to visit #and she didn't 'reject' him so much as not notice him flirting for all of college #she gets irritated at Jack for forgetting their anniversary because that was SCHEDULED and PLANNED and now it's CHANGED #she can't cook non-sentient food; she forgets to decontaminate; she doesn't bring a phone on vacation because her bag is full of Ghost Stuf #and she most definitely doesn't understand her kids' social needs and emotions #but goddamn it she loves her husband and family

[bandtrees]

for the warriors ask game :D

🗺 : first map you ever watched?

🖼 : first amv/pmv you ever watched?

(I used to watch MAPs religiously those are my jam)

yay thank you! warriors ask game except the questions are all weird and niche as hell!

know: my memory is bad. i've been into wc for... well over a decade now, so these are probably not accurate xP my first warriors video was i believe a spoof video about ashfur and squirrelflight, but my first map and amv? uhhh unsure!

🗺 : first map you ever watched? - i didn't actively watch maps as a small kid, or at least i don't think i did? the first map that i entirely remember watching was during my second major warriors phase by the time i was closer to... 15 maybe?? as opposed to my earliest memories of wc which are from when i was 10 or younger lol. little fang, which is making me genuinely super misty eyed to rewatch, it's just so so good, from the style to the designs to how well it gets into jayfeather and his family with only animation and music, the composition of every part is so good, the designs, all of it. the sole reason little fang is one of my favorite songs to this day it might, miiight, have also been evelyn evelyn? that one was certainly one of the first maps i ever watched that stuck with me. the dovewing kinnie has entered chat

🖼 : first amv/pmv you ever watched? - i cannot remember. i watched sooo many amvs as a kid. not my FIRST amv, probably, but one of the earliest i recall is ashfur's revenge, which is delighting me so much to rewatch. this one was formative for me, i miss the style of flash-animated warriors amvs that (obviously:() aren't around anymore. i also have such a soft spot for tigerclaw is not one of thunderclan, one i was thinking about the Entire Time i was writing the exile scene in spottedfur's pride lol. i still love it so much, this is my first time rewatching it in like... a decade, im sure. its so good. im kind of blown away as i rewatch these that they ARE as good as they are, cuz i feel like it's common in the warriors fandom to treat old amvs as some cringeworthy lost art (in general i have strong opinions on how (unintentionally)cruel the internet starts being to things as soon as they enter "nostalgia" territory) - but there's still, like, genuine talent in these. there's a reason these amvs were as popular as they were, and not because we were all cringe 10 year olds who didn't know better, lol. also reminds me of tigerstar and the dog pack(be prepared) - which is one i have the most vivid memory of watching on my family computer, hehe. in general i love corvus katana's stuff, past and current oh my god i will never get this ask posted because i keep remembering ones that helped, like, form a lobe of my brain growing up. HOW TO SAVE BLUESTAR'S LIFE YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS!!!! I AM TOTALLY NOT CRYING REWATCHING IT. YOU ARE. YOU ARE. cant believe i had a phase where i hated bluestar - i think everyone did because they spontaneously realized she was imperfect, immoral even at times, and made mistakes but hadn't developed the media comprehension to realize she was... actually meant to be complex and troubled and not just a perfect leader. god. bluestar. god. god. g (im also gonna use this question as a chance to gush about old amvs that i remember that are unfortunately lost to time: a hollyleaf one to hurricane by thirty seconds to mars (!!!! THIS ONE WAS SO FORMATIVE BUT IM LIKE 80% SURE ITS LOST MEDIA), bluestar heart heart head (PLEASE tell me im not the only one who remembers this one!!! i was devastated to learn it wasn't iconic or reuploaded anywhere (as much as i also think, again, in the nostalgia-sense, people act entitled to things like old amvs or people's art or whatever else)), NIGHTCLOUD GIRL WITH ONE EYE CHANGED MY LIFE?and... probably more of course that aren't coming to me now xP

i. didnt expect to ramble as much as i did with this? i just can't put into enough words how formative warriors amvs and the like were for me growing up :'DD they were my major start for digital art and animation (something i did a lot when i was younger but fell out of over time, but god i'd love to animate again, maybe do a classic wc amv to spottedfur's pride or something lol)

thank you for the question! I am so incredibly normal about warrior cats.

#babbles #wc #warriors #warrior cats #long posts #i knew i had a tag for ask games but uh. dont remember it soz #i poke at it a few times here but i do have strong opinions about how vapid nostalgia culture can be #especially w regards to the early internet where if something is deemed a universal enough experience #people stop caring about the person behind it and it just feels like ppl think its public domain #like a product of collective nostalgia and not a piece of art a person made #see every wacky comment on these amvs like 'Lol remember when THIS was peak animation?? like if youre still here in 2019!!!!' #or there being like a gritty lps popular reboot meant to ~deconstruct~ it #stuff like that. its why even though i was 100% a webcore furry 2000s kid i can never get into the culture surrounding it on tumblr #it feels too ironic for me even if it doesn't mean to be - i would rather art be treated like... art and not as 'haha remember THIS?' #everytime some kid from 2007's old art gets reposted for nostalgiawave animecore whatever i cringe a bit im sorry #unless it's for like. 1) w permission somehow 2) genuinely liking the art itself and not through a lens of 'this is kiddy nonsense lol' #idk i have many opinions. ANYWAY. WARRIOR CATS

[chiscribbs]

hwy I appreciate you. Your account gives good vibes and I love getting notifs about your posts. I like seeing you interact w/ people and you have a lot of charisma. Thank you for being here 🤞

ASdfghjkl-- I- Wow, I don't know how to respond to this, I'm blushing.

"Charisma" is absolutely not a word I would ever have used in reference to myself, so hearing that is a bit surreal, but- I'm really glad you enjoy my posts?? Especially the non-art posts, it means a lot to me to know that someone is actually reading and getting enjoyment out of those, too. I tend to assume they just fly under the radar as filler in-between the more interesting content, haha.

Thank you for the sweet and encouraging message, Anon. And, if it doesn't go without saying, I appreciate you too! :> 💕

#Also I'm sorry this reply is so late - I actually saw this message days ago and have just been too busy to make a proper response. #I don't like giving half-brained responses to genuine messages it feels like a cheat. So I'd rather give a late but genuine reply... #...many days later lol. #asked and answered #anonymous #chi's babbling again

[twistedappletree]

I’m so confused by that poll, are people actually paying real life money for their ship to win?? H o w and why omg I’ve got bills to pay and cats to put through college

#also that basically means wangxian is winning without fraudulent votes which is incredible lmao #mdzs fandom is so goddamn powerful jfc #sorry y’all this a genuine question actually bc I’ve never heard of ppl paying for poll votes before LOL #I must’ve missed that part of tumblr while I was gone #apple babble 🍎

[supermacaquecool]

Having one of those moments of "free my girl, she did all that, but you're annoying about her" bc of reading twt comments lol

#OK like I genuinely think it's funny but I'm also flabbergasted #She's jsut a silly cartoon girl in a silly cartoon where outrageous things happening is kind of the staple of the tone #Learn to read the room or something #This is a bout Peebles yeah #I'm just losing it how you can't do shit not even laugh at her exes dynamic with Marceline when ppl are like #She's irredeemable a tyrant one of the worst types of evil #KDKFKFKG COME ON LOL #okay I swear solemnly to not to read twt opinions about her anymore #babbling

[natasha-in-space]

You ever read a fic that's so good, you just have to lay there and stare at the ceiling in complete silence for like 15 minutes or so while your brain is basically vibrating with hundreds of thoughts? Yeah, that's one of the best feelings in the world, holy molly

#mia babbles #< gonna use this tag for random thoughts i'm willing to post lol #anyways i've been rotating this fic in my head in full microwave mode and it makes me so giddy #this fic is for a different fandom from mm but #gosh i forgot how much i truly do enjoy psychological horror #i love myself a piece of art that will leave me pondering about my own place in the universe and what is truly real or not #who are you really? are you your physical form? the collective image of you from the people around you? your soul? your brain? #if there were hundreds copies of you placed in the same exact circumstances - would they be any different? #so what makes you YOU? #brain vibrating #having an art block so i can't get myself to write anything but it's moments like these that make my fingers practically ITCH to create #also i'm genuinely shocked at the talent of some fic writers #like you guys are amazing and i would legit buy a book from you #so many talented folks living all around the world and i just think that's so amazing :)

[junonreactor]

just no thought going through some people's heads at all

#do you think those terms can be accurately and equivalently applied to countries where the fight is in such a different spot #also. describe to me the average western feminist. im not going to sit here and claim that kr feminism is wildly trans inclusive bc lol #but use your brain for one fucking second #also do you think. genuinely. that if kr feminism is in such a dire spot that the wider populace. including a video game company #would be so much more inclusive that they would fire someone over it. be real #ein babbles #to delete #sorry. read the phrase 'average healthy feminist' again. girl what

[asymmetricboys]

am i the only writer who does not find comments of “please continue!!” or “we need another chapter!!” to be a compliment on a fanfic and lowkey find them deeply grating instead

like how do i make it clear in my author notes at the start that i don’t write serialized things, i am writing a complete story where the word count is the fucking word count and the chapter count is the FUCKING CHAPTER COUNT, and warn people i get insulted if they ask for more... like it feels like im a chef who made a perfectly portioned meal designed to be the exact correct balance and serving of those ingredients and then someone loudly tells me (usually without even actually complimenting the food first) that I should bring them seconds. and im just standing there like the chef in that murdering chef movie like ‘if u question my fucking JUDGEMENT ON LENGTH u question me as an artist’???

i for real for real 100 per cent know it is not that deep but i cannot help it, my brain goes ‘u think i don’t know when THE END of my own story is???’

like unless i explicitly state in the final author notes that i am thinking about writing an epilogue or a sequel, i just straight up don’t want to see people asking for more. like i KNOW you’re trying to give me a compliment, but please just learn how to tell me something you actually liked about the thousands of words i ALREADY WROTE, i am looking for a crumb of validation here!!!

i understand that there are loads of fic writers who genuinely write more or less of a story based on the demand, because their writing flow IS that they like writing a serialized piece and they can expand forever on the concept until they decide they would like to wrap it up -- but that is not me and i guess i just need to be blunter in my author notes and be like ‘THERE WILL BE NO CONTINUATION’ like if that’s the only kind of comment you know how to leave, just say ‘looking forward to reading the next thing you write!!’ and we’re chill!!

anyway i’m never ever posting a story in more than one chapter ever again, it’s oneshots only for me babe, the commenters know how to ACT in those comment sections

#there's a read more because i KNOOOOOOW im being a bitch lol #only click that if ur also a salty perfectionist who gets insulted too easily #sometimes i just want to be an ASSHOOLLLEEEE and that's what a personal blog is for lol #ace babbles #also to be clear.....if someone leaves a detailed comment on a fic and then also adds 'if you wrote anything else in this verse i would #absolutely read it in a second!' #that person is 100 per cent valid and that's a lovely comment #i'm mostly talking about people who say nothing about the fic and then go 'you need to write more chapters pleeeeaasse' #like do you have any FUCKING manners you're not 8 years old you can give a bitch a compliment before you ask her a favour first at least #like it's not gonna work im not going to write more of a story that is already done but i will see the request as a compliment #instead of a rude comment #if it is at least swaddled in a demonstration of genuine appreciation for the fic that shows you actually read the words #it just.....i know im being irrational #but it just feels like i sculpted something out of a piece of wood and then someone looked at it and went 'hmmmm...can you make it taller' #like????? no i fucking can't i'm out of wood??? do you not know how sculpting works??? #and they're like 'oh i saw that dude's clay sculpture and he keeps making it taller' #and im like 'THEY'RE DIFFERENT TYPES OF SCULPTURES MY GUY' #sorry yall it's just i miss the 5sos fandom yall left great comments from my recollection #and i recently posted a two chapter thing in a newer fandom and im swamped with the most disappointing three word comments #just demanding more #blah

[pokedcheck]

okay. alright. this is not a happy team, obviously. you can tell there's a LOT of tension in the room right now and keefe using mitch to send a message really demonstrates just how sour it probably is right now. i don't know what they have to do to be better, honestly. and i think that's the scary part. but. they have a few days of rest and then they FINALLY get to play at home after this nightmare roadtrip. i hope they use this time to recalibrate, rest in their own beds, and just try to put it together. players and coaches alike. it's a long season and there's still plenty of games left to go. so let's all relax, breathe and just vibe :]

#leafs lb #like i said earlier this season: i am trying to avoid the whole 'THE SKY IS FALLING' reactions because it really made me genuinely unhappy #and i love watching hockey and i love the leafs and i want to be able to enjoy them even if it's uhh not that enjoyable lmao #i'm sure half of you don't care and want me to shut up so i will #but i mean if you are feelin all down and mad about the team. they will put it together eventually. and if you don't wanna wait then– #-it's very easy to stop watching them lol #hannah babbles

[anghraine]

The James Somerton and Cait Corrain implosions coming one after the other are certainly a way to close out 2023.

Not a good way, but 2023 in online discourse is wrapping up with a bang, for sure.

#torn between horror at how badly they fucked over ... well. lots of people. #mixed in with 'wait what? lol' at some of the twists and turns #(genuinely interesting to me that they both very transparently tried to protect themselves with fall guys #like somerton going on about how he wouldn't put up with these slights against his co-writer who would be the real plagiarist #and also making up straight/white female malefactors #and then corrain had the very fake lilly the reylo to take the blame) #anghraine babbles #general fanwank

[madzillus]

I’m onto the final boss fight. Omg it’s so good I LOVE IT. Powering my way through with food because I’m still not great with combat lol

#totk #totk spoilers #tears of the kingdom #tears of the kindom spoilers #zelda tears of the kingdom #tloz #ganondorf #the cut scene in the Sanctum? AAHHH!!!! #I keep dying but that’s okay :’-) #just gotta keep eating and whacking #genuinely my method. I am Not Good at proper combat lmaoooo #also. I still have bits to do after the end but. I don’t want this game to be over :’-) #I’ve been putting off going to the castle for as long as possible lol #but it is time #madzillus babble

[bandtrees]

its not like i dont agree with all those posts about how bsd season 5 finale is bad and stupid and was a big let-down and everything. cuz i do - but also... i'm not really upset with it in the way a lot of people are, tbh.

cuz if you're only now realizing bsd isn't a good mystery series and it has a lot of cheap shock value and forgoes interesting character development in favor of showing off how smart dazai or fyodor are... uh, welcome to the club? the season 5 finale is not really unique in this regard.

bsd, to me, though it has moments of compelling writing, and overall compelling characters (people Like its characters so much for a reason!), etc, has always been a low-expectations watch. it's always been the "oh what's kafka asagiri doing to his weird ocs now" show - from the start, it's done this. so much of season 1 reeks of the same "random out of nowhere twist to make the writing feel clever", and it's something the show's had a problem with, and continues to have a problem with. forever. to the point where to enjoy the series you just kinda have to meet it halfway and have fun with it.

when i first got into bsd in, like, 2017 or so, i hated dazai a lot. both because of personal reasons and because i just didn't like smug genius types who know everything. with him being such a major character, this led to a shallow perception of the show, as you'd expect. then, i rewatched it this year, and i went in with those same feelings - but i wanted to like bsd, and dazai by extension, so i just kinda... got used to him, because you can't fully appreciate this series and not. (that and i'd just matured as a person since 2017 and could look at him with more nuance lol)

like, i get being upset this season didn't end the way you anticipated. i loved the meursault arc, and season 5 episode 10 was one of my favorite episodes of the entire series i was genuinely excited to see a follow-up on. but also, if you know bsd does deathfaking and stupid silly plot twists that weren't telegraphed in the least, and you're genuinely mad every time they're pulled, then... maybe you should just watch a different show, yknow?

i don't say this to excuse the shitty writing, but rather, it's not really new, and buckling in for the absurd ride is part of the bsd experience, that it goes from a genuinely thrilling and gritty episode 10 to a completely batshit episode 11 that has the main antagonist quote jesus christ before dying in a helicopter explosion, is, like, really fucking funny. i can't even be mad. that episode is some of the most entertained i've been by this show, not even in its contents but laughing as i try to explain it to people and scream incredulously with my friend - it's a series where the good is good and the bad is, if nothing else, never boring. it's the series with the giant moby dick whale mech. it's the series that now has vampires in it for some reason. i think if you're looking for top tier character development and stimulating mysteries and peak fiction... you're looking in the wrong place, imo.

#babbles #this is not me saying 'ooh the finale is actually BRILLIANT SATIRE' no. no its just pure organic bullshit #and i for one enjoy pure organic bullshit. and where i dont. well thats what aus are for #(dark and i brainstorming an au fic that diverges at meursault bc of course we are) #(that ones for if you WANT a gritty fucked up tragic end and not the canonical shenanigans bs we got lol) #i dont mean in this post to say bsd is just stupid and if youre emotionally invested in it youre stupid #it's a series i really like for a REASON despite its flaws. i just mean that it being stupid and fumbling its writing is not new and #the s5 finale isnt uniquely terrible in this regard #and i'd rather have fun with those fumbles and how out there and off the wall they are than be mad every single time they happen #like going to the circus and being mad about clowns ykwim #beast and dark era and all the parts of this series that tug on my heartstrings so genuinely also coexist with the dumbest stuff ever #and thats just part of the show to me. ideal bsd investment level to me is 'enough to care but not enough to get genuinely mad' #bungou stray dogs #bsd critical #? is that a tag. sure #this has been sitting in my drafts i forgor to post sad

[vvindication]

suicide tw really fucking bizarre to have had someone get angry with me for giving up on basic needs because I was so physically sick. straight up dont know how to process that one

#vvin babbles #I really need to start some therapy again after this shit lol #yeah they did genuinely apologize and are helping but uh. gonna need to unpack that

[wormtiddies]

i forgot that summer meant accidental therapy sessions with my mom while in the pool. girl help I just wanted to do a little swimmin and instead I’m doin a lot of cryin

#we were talking abt how I miss dance and how my dance teachers kinda fucked me over bc I had a lot of potential and they just didn’t care #and then were talking abt how I never had a genuine friend throughout the 10+ years if my career #and then I realized how badly that fucked me up and how I internalized that into believing there was something wrong with me #like I was one of the top dancers. i cared and loved dance so much and all the other kids hated me for it. #my love for dance caused me to feel isolated & not good enough #anyways I almost cried in my moms arms LOL fun summer activities #freys babble

[finex09]

omg hi so im super late to this, but edc weekend finished (obvi) and here are some final Thots(tm): 

Deadmau5 x Kaskade did their thing and it was legitimately amazing ngl but the funniest thing was when fucking,, SUBTRONICS came on stage and debuted his dubstep remix of a Kx5 song, and then joel actually danced AND vibed with said remix, when 6 years ago this beautiful exchange happened:

(the jokes write themselves) (also not only that, but the fact that the old joel literally said that he hates dubstep and yet there he was, dancing and fist-bumping. proof that we all change lololol)

(still, fuck him tho.)

for night 1, the festival was almost evacuated bc of heavy winds and potential storms, but luckily everything was fine in the end. Wasnt able to catch porters set but i heard it was absolutely amazing, as per usual

eliminate announced he was doing a suprise set at one of the buses and i was legit punching the air crying shitting etc etc bc he was playing a bunch of unreleased songs. sadge

g jones had an amazing set, as per usual. sad that one wasnt streamed tho </3

CRAY apparently accidentally flashed all of EDC during Kayzo’s set bc she started twerking and the wind picked her skirt up. In her own words: periodt.

rezz. thats it thats the tweet

also madeon. send tweet,

and finally: No Mana is bringing back the ISQA alias. when i tell you i almost screamed at work,

#thats it lol i think theres more but i didnt watch saturday or sunday unfortunately <//3 #also the scream i almost scrumpt when no mana announced that i was like YOOO #genuinely forgot abt isqa ngl but after re=listening to a song i immediately remembered and got sent back to 2014 highschool #MAN. good shit #anyways. just wanted to get this out #finex at edc #this may or may not be a recurring tag hehe #bird babbles #edm stuff