#given im nonbinary (woman) myself

[ohbo-ohno]

🪀 werewolf soap who only shows up at readers door in his wolf form so she thinks hes just a wild animal but hes SO FUCKING SWEET that she just. can't help herself (im nonbinary but by god do I perpetuate the "white woman" stereotype when it comes to dangerous animals. wdym thats a wolf thats just a big puppy and i call him soap 💖) and just. reader just keeps feeding him. keeps petting him, never lets him in but one day he just bullies himself right past her into her home and lays in the middle of the floor and refuses to leave. Spends an obscene amount of time leaving his scent on anything and everything she owns before he returns to his den. slowly starts hiding his things in her home while shes sleeping. Keeps weaseling his way inside at any given opportunity, until one night theres a wild storm (snow or thunder doesnt matter) and reader just. keeps pacing by the front door because her poor wolf friend could be out there in this. And sure, hes an animal thats built for it, but she feels bad. He's SO HAPPY the moment she slams open her door amd ushers him inside out of the cold that he transforms, naked and taller than her, and wrangles reader into his arms, ignoring her shrieks of surprise as he claims her mouth with his. and probably goes further bc this is soap we're talkjng abt hes kinda like that.

anyway the point is mmmm werewolf soap

alright i have three - count em three! - asks in my inbox about werewolf soap x reader stuff and im soooo sorry for the delay my beloveds but! im answering them now! they're really good and fun and i've been hoarding them for myself

this ask is like actually perfect. this is a full fic idea. i'd read 10k of this and im so serious

i loove the potential domesticity here. you try to teach him a trick and are blown away by how smart he is when he gets it immediately! (johnny's insulted the first time you tell him to sit, but you get very excited and hug him so he's more than willing to amuse you for a bit)

you come out of your house one morning and see him sleeping in your flowerbeds. you nearly screech at him, storming over in your robe and glaring. he's very shocked to wake up to that sight, and scrambles away from your flowers as quickly as possible. brings you a bunch of wildflowers later as an apology <3

you let him sleep in your house one night and wake up the next morning with his muzzle under your sleepshirt, resting on your stomach. he huffs all amused when you yelp and jerk away, cause you're just so cute when you're sleepy <3

he likes surprising you. you're always so trusting around him (once you're convinced he won't hurt you). you never hold back your personality at all, no fear of judgement from an animal. and he loves seeing you be so genuine, and you're never as genuine as you are when he sneaks up on you. he loves the way you gasp, then make a little high pitched noise (anywhere from a squeal to a screech) and then a laugh when you recognize him. he loves loves loves it, takes every opportunity to surprise you he can

im soooo into the image of soap being too excited to keep his ruse up any longer. he's so so so happy to see you!!!! can't settle for licking you anymore, needs to kiss you!!!! and so he shifts and scoops you up in his arms, holds you close and laughs all loud and from the belly when you start screaming <3 he loves how surprised you sound, pulls you up enough that he can rub his cheek along yours, rumbling a low sound in his chest

yeah mmm werewolf soap <3

#🪀 anon #soap mactavish x reader #bo writes

[drdemonprince]

Any chance you'd expand on the hank hill trans guy post? (Sorry, best indicator I could come up with.) The concept interests me as I decidedly know my maleness, yet don't feel impeded by for the most part, any male gendered norms/boxes. I am fairly masculine, though I rarely use those kinds terms to describe myself. I have found I often do stray outside of what society pushed for me when I transitioned, yet I again do not feel it has taken from my right to maleness whatsoever. I am just me, who happens to be male. I have had friends try and suggest I am NB adjacent but I do not feel this way whatsoever. I feel more people are outliers to gender expectation than we care to admit and it's disappointing the way cis-people deny that. Hope this wasn't too long winded, I value your writing and perspective, and wanted to hear more of your thoughts on this.

Yeah, well so many things all get conflated by gender labels, and it's all so personal, you know? Masculinity does not have to mean maleness, and a person's gender identity might be a reflection of some innate quality they experience themselves as having, or a general summary of their tendencies, or their desired presentation, or their sense of affinity with other people, or an interpersonal tool, or something they just go along with because it was given to them by society, or any other number of things.

I think my recent substack piece on detransition goes into this pretty well, and I have an upcoming piece of what @pastimperfection calls "bilateral dysphoria" that comes out next week that delves into it too.

I think I mostly saw taking on a male identity as a means to an end more than any kind of innate reflection of who I was, though I did feel an affinity with effeminate men for a lot of reasons. I think I also discounted how much I have in common with my fellow nonbinary people of all stripes, because that identity became so strongly associated with being an annoying type of queer person that everybody else just wrote off as ultimately being their assigned gender at birth anyway no matter how much they protested. it doesn't help that 'nonbinary' is a catchall term for literally thousands if not millions of very distinct experiences and desires.

transitioning gave me control over how i was perceived, finally, but hormones are a throttle that only go in one very specific direction, and you don't really have all that much control over which changes kick in at which times and what people will make of you once you do start registering to them as some identity other than what you were first saddled with. it's an incredible gift to be able to toggle that throttle. but it's limited, not because medical transition isn't incredible and needed for so many, but because there is no escaping the goddamned binary cissexist logic that influences everything about how people treat you, how you navigate institutions, who finds you desirable and what they want out of you, and so much else.

if you're able to cast a lot of the external societal bullshit aside and feel strong in your maleness, maybe you're stronger than me or maybe our orientation to these things is just different, i don't know. i was never all that sensitive to feedback that i was doing the whole being-a-woman-thing all that wrong. i reveled in violating those rules to an extent. succeeding at being a woman despite my best attempts was what felt super dysphoric. and now i guess im succeeding at being a man, insofar as im always read as one, and it feels just as uncomfortable and objectifying and false. i thought that with manhood i could probably just grit my teeth and deal with it, but i'm finding that i can't.

ive always been very open that for me, gender is a thing I Do, and i guess to those who know me well it wouldnt be surprising to hear that i have gotten tired of Doing Being a Man and dont feel like playing that particular gendered game anymore. I tend to get bored of things! and find the flaws in things. and find my comfort in being fault-finding and contrarian and not being a joiner. and thats okay. i learned a lot along the way. not having to try any more is a huge relief. i can just do whatever. and know actively that people will more often than not be wrong in what they make of me.

maybe it was natural feeling for you to decidely 'know' your maleness without a care for masculine standards because that is the right identity for you! and maybe i only feel secure in the "not knowing" realm and in letting go of what people think of me or finding any kind of tidy categorization for it because that's the right spot for me. for now. until i find a new interesting way to be unhappy and striving for more and different again. :) that's just part of being alive, for me.

[spacelazarwolf]

I feel like everyone who wants to send you anon hate should be forced to answer reading comprehension questions on your posts like the fucking regents exams ffs. Also truly wild how many white middle class women think they need to be constantly vigilant against every stranger. Like don't get me wrong bad things can and do happen to white middle class women, and that's awful. But it is highly unlikely that the black guy who happens to be walking the same way as you or the guy at the bus stop who's talking to himself are going to hurt you.

I have a friend who won't give money to homeless people because "you just never know." She's afraid if she gets anywhere near an unhoused man he might hurt her. I've given money to homeless guys, and I've apologized if they asked and I didn't have any cash, and I've parked under an overpass I knew was frequented by unhoused people and sought someone out to give a hot meal and a few bucks to. I'm 5'4, white and look like a woman (im nonbinary), and I've never been hurt or threatened or even made to feel unsafe by an unhoused person. I'm not making a statement about how virtuous I am, or whether people should give money to unhoused people, but I'm like, very weak and physically unimposing. If someone wanted to hurt me they probably could.

In broad daylight, in a well-trafficked area, I am probably a greater threat to them than they are to me. And sometimes my first reaction to seeing someone doing something a little off is panic, but then I remind myself I have an anxiety disorder and my first reaction to a lot of things is panic. I'm not gonna call the cops on them, bc that will help no one and make pretty much everyone less safe. Sorry this is so long, this topic is very frustrating to me as someone who is trying to unlearn that mindset. Some people just need to take the bus for a few weeks and realize that people are mostly just trying to live their lives

Anyway I hope you're doing well and that the current wave of trolls and anons get over themselves soon.

^^^

#ask avishai

[ramblesbiab]

(so uh. i deleted this earlier cuz i got some negative comments and felt bad but im putting it back up now cuz i like it still.)

Gosh, slowly entering Blue Eye Samurai Tumblr is kinda disappointing with how many people are against headcannoning Mizu's gender. I personally view Mizu as a gal, which seems to be the prevailing opinion often stated with the most contempt for headcannons. But not acknowledging other interpretations goes against the very idea of literature if you ask me. Mizu's story can be viewed in plenty of ways that are all unique and wonderful.

Cis female is often defended as the only identity which properly aligns with the difficulty of fighting societal expectations of gender at the time of this story, but the fact is, any trans perspective would also obviously be against the expectations of 1600's Japan. I say any trans perspective because there's three main ones, from what I've seen at least - Trans Male, Trans Female, and Nonbinary.

I have a lot to say so I'm putting the rest under a read more lol. Also fair warning I'm not actually that good at describing things, but I promise I'm trying my best. :)

(From here on, I'll be switching Mizu's pronouns per section.)

Trans Male

Trans Male is an incredibly evident interpretation. Mizu has a traditionally male name in Japanese culture from what I've learned, binds his chest, presents as male and worries about being seen as female. Yes, there's the counterpoint to this stance of Mizu saying he "had to be a man" for the sake of getting revenge, however, he says this to a man he's taken interest in. A man who, given the society then live in, would likely not understand or agree with the idea that Mizu considers himself a man, let alone like him still.

This is a point where Mizu is, arguably, at his weakest, giving into society for the sake of happiness, which is still powerful from a trans male perspective, of a trans man feeling trapped but desperately clinging to anything that makes life feel okay, even if it involves breaking away from his own comfort.

As a trans woman I can't speak specifically on that, but in the year before I started socially transitioning, I would cling to anything that made me feel happy despite the pain of being seen as a man that came with it. It's valid for a pre- or non-transitioning trans person to sacrifice some gender comfort for other comfort if that's all they can attain for the time being.

Back to Mizu, I don't think it's less powerful for moments of "Mizu is nervous about being found to be a woman" to be turned into "Mizu is feeling pain from being misgendered and wishing he could live truly as himself." It's not an interpretation I personally follow, so I'm certain it could be better articulated by someone else, but it still upsets me that some people try to invalidate it.

Trans Female

So, this is one I haven't seen as often, or at all truthfully, but I found myself relating to Mizu as she effectively has to boymode throughout the story. It recontextualizes Mizu saying she "had to be a man", now being a truthful statement about the desperation to be seen as her real self, and turns her time as a wife into even more of an escape. Further on, it makes Mizu being referred to as a monster more depressing, as it rings true to an unfortunately real part of life, of transphobes feeling a sense of unearned betrayal upon finding out someone they like is trans.

It adds to the relief of Mizu removing her binding and relaxing, and to the pain of Mizu trying to come out to Master Eiji while he denies it. Given the society Mizu lives in, it's such a painful desire to have to want to be a girl - to know your destiny is something that will hurt you. Living as a girl would make her happy, so she doesn't want to be happy. She needs to lie, and escape from desire, so she looks for a way to feel satisfied while repressing her feminine side.

As a trans woman, this sensation is like the struggle accepting one's identity, along with trying to avoid accepting it even once it has become obvious. Being trans is not easy, it never has been, so it's not unrealistic that Mizu would latch onto priorities, or at least what she convinces herself are priorities as a method of escapism.

Honestly, it's not the easiest position to defend, as it's one of the least clear out of the possible Mizu headcannons, but it's still important to me that I pointed it out.

Nonbinary

It's time for my hottest take - Mizu's gender doesn't have to matter in the story. Yes, as many have pointed out, the disparity in social recognition between male and female can be incredibly important in their journey, but it's not required for every single interpretation of Mizu. Mizu wants revenge - they've made it evidently clear that this takes priority over everything else, over friendship, romance, and most likely, gender.

Now, I'm not saying nonbinary as a label is equal to disregarding gender, but in the case of Mizu - whose name means "water", or fluid - I feel it's applicable. I've talked a lot about priorities before as an excuse, but what if they're not? What if Mizu simply doesn't care for gender in any way? They certainly don't agree with social conventions, unless we consider how they see themselves and white men as demons, but that doesn't necessarily relate to gender.

It's hard to find direct examples of Mizu being nonbinary, as they live in an incredibly binary world where they serve as the exception. Mizu sticks out everywhere, too masculine to be a woman and too feminine to be a man, so they rest elsewhere, never seen correctly by another character in the story. Ringo says that it's okay they're a woman, Fowler insults them for it. Taigen and Akemi both have no reason to believe Mizu isn't a man, no matter how they feel about it.

Mizu only needs themself, because only they understands themself. They represent an idea that, in their time, doesn't exist - being neither man or woman - which opens up new ways of interpreting the events which Mizu goes through.

Conclusion, I guess

Which then leads to the point of this post which has gone on longer then I thought. New and unique ways to interpret a story are vital to media and literature as a whole, so why would we stop others from expressing and experiencing that? Unless a take is genuinely harmful or presented as though anyone who doesn't believe it is stupid or viewing the story incorrectly, then please, don't dissuade them - encourage them!

Learn more from others, share ideas and points about this amazing show, analysis and have fun, good-natured debates! That's the moral of this post. Have a nice day, everyone.

#repost #blue eye samurai #mizu blue eye samurai #transgender #trans male #trans female #nonbinary #media #literature #analysis #it has set in that #if I don't like negative comments #then i either have to get used to them #or get of the internet #lol

[big-greer]

I know i dont usually post stuff like this, for the longest time if you had asked me what my gender was id say i was a regular guy..but in truth i say that but i never really felt like i "Fit" with the term guy. Like in my brain whenever i think of myself i never really think specifically about being a male. Before i just assumed "oh its cause i am one, obviously i wouldnt consciously think of that. its sort of a given" but looking back that clearly wasnt the case, always joked how i barely counted as a guy and most people either would laugh like its a joke but a few days ago a coworker asked why..and i sort of froze up cause i had never really stopped and asked myself why? Like i knew i didnt act like a normal guy, i didnt think like one, i never had that attachment to the title of being male. so i always felt this disconnect from manhood, and even when my father tried to teach me to be a man it always felt like i was just an outsider looking in and learning a lesson through a window or something. he tried all kinds of stuff you would expect a "manly" guy to know, hell he even taught me how to track through a forest (would cut notches in trees and we walked from the top of a mountain to the bottom and had me lead us back following the marks he made. yeah dad take your like 14 year old to the fucking bottom of a mountain and make me track cut marks like some legendary hunter lol). and he would always explain what manhood was and i just....it never connected to me you know? i always chocked that up to the fact my dad was never really around (after he and ma divorced he sorta slowly dissapeared from my life till he was dead one day) and so i figured i wasnt like a regular guy cause i was raised by like, 95% woman only so i thought that might be why? but as ive come to realize it isnt that and ive just never really vibed with the idea of being just a guy, its never clicked for me.

Now dont get me wrong, the idea of using she/her pronouns actually is uncomftorable to me so now i feel like im sort of just floating here? in between gender in my own sort of like...little world and im worried about doing it right. Yeah i know "oh i want to do good at gender which is a logical and reasonable thing that can be done" i know i know. But like, i dont want to wear makeup and dresses and stuff (though nail polish would be nice, perhaps a good black would be cool.) and i feel like i dont particularly want to wear any womans clothing? i like guy clothes, there comfy, fit me nice, and for obvious reasons they are all i got lol. Also i like having my goatee and facial hair so thats also a thing. i just worry that after browsing the nonbinary tag that cause of stuff like this i wouldnt be good at being nonbinary, or that i would do it wrong. OH also that i would still be comfortable with people using he/him pronouns as well as they/them but wouldnt feel comftorable with somebody using she/her ones (perhaps this is just cause he/him pronouns are all ive known my entire life and thats why im more comfy with them). yeah all that makes me worried id be doing nonbinary wrong, which i know is a dumb sentence cause nobody can do gender "wrong" and that its a personal thing that is up to only the person whose gender its about feelings on the situation. but that lingering doubt is still in my mind, that i will be some sort of fraud or not ACTUALLY nonbinary and stuff. cause lord knows alot of tumblr views nonbinary as just "WOMAN 2" and if you arnt some hyper androgynous person you arnt actually nonbinary and i know i know, i shouldnt care what fuckin morons on tumblr say.

But gender stuff is new to me, VERY knew. Lord knows i still have strange feelings towards being ace and sometimes worry im not "ACE" enough to be considered ace. so im def still fighting some internal demons about this stuff. But having good friends around is helping out alot and i cant even imagine how id handle dealing with this sort of stuff alone (cause lord knows what little family i got left wouldnt be the most...supportive) anyway uh, gender is fuckin wild and confusing and stupid and simple and everything and nothing and lord does it give me a headache.

#gender fuckery #nonbinary #i guess i consider myself nonbinary #even if im worried im not nonbinary enough #whatever that means

[transgressivegirlification]

sorta. learning how to separate my gender from how other people perceive and treat me. that and separating my gender identity from gender performance and the idea that i have to DO anything or have any specific trait to be a woman

i dunno. if gender describes your relationship to society and your relationship to your body and sex characteristics, then there is an expectation to perform specific roles based on your relationship to your body, which is pretty wierd and we could probably do without that. so, i guess in that sense, im a gender abolitionist

i don’t consider myself a woman because i was assigned female at birth, i consider myself a woman because it describes my relationship to my body. i don’t consider my (de)transition a return because i don’t remember what it was like to live as someone who was perceived as a girl and i’ve never been perceived as a woman, just a feminine trans person (and only online, offline i’m treated as an autistic cis man) so i’m having to figure out what my womanhood means to me for the first time instead of having it just given to me or something i had at some nebulous ~before~

but it’s. i don’t think being a woman means you have to be feminine in any meaning of the word. i don’t think i have to be seen as a woman to be one. i don’t even think i have to dislike masculine terms being used for me. i also don’t think that not conforming to the expected presentations of my gender makes me nonbinary. (nb people are chill i am just tired of being degendered in trans* spaces and having people making a big deal over my gender/pronouns because i don’t “look like” my gender)

i’m just a woman with a deep voice and body hair and broad shoulders and facial hair and an adam’s apple and a strong brow. i’m just a woman that wears clothing made for men and who wears binders instead of bras most of the time. i’m just a woman who wears makeup only once or twice a year and who doesn’t do anything centered around anti-aging. none of that makes me less of a woman, it just makes me less feminine which is fine

femininity is nice but a lot of it is either based on making women more consumable to men or just isn’t ideal for a construction worker. like. i love lolita fashion but it is not remotely osha approved. i can barely get away with tying my jacket around my waist lmafo

and i mean. i like men. 90% of my coworkers are men and i generally fuck with them. i’m also promised to a man who is my priority in life.

but at the same time, i’m not going to go out of my way to be appealing to men or even think about it in my day to day life because i’m a person who enjoys men, not a perfume ad. yeah i dress up for dates and enjoy when my promised finds me attractive but being desirable isn’t the same as being consumable. when i perform femininity for my promised, he enjoys the show but sees me as an actor instead of a character if that makes sense?

i dunno. i love being feminine in over the top ways that make me feel powerful and confident but it’s… a lot to do outside of the context of conventions (shout out to conventions for giving me a way to explore new presentations in public without being afraid of getting hate crimed fr)

i guess for me it feels wierd to be a woman almost exclusively attracted to men because so much of how people talk about wlm is centered around the man’s attraction to the woman or the woman making herself attractive to the man when i center myself in my attraction to men. i generally don’t think about making myself attractive to a man i’m not actively going on a date with, i think about what i want to do to him and what he could do for me. yeah it’s a little selfish but nobody’s complained yet B;)

tl;dr: i’m still a woman when i fulfill male stereotypes. femininity as a way to feel powerful, pretty, and/or desirable is nice. femininity as a set of rules pushed on women for the purpose of centering men’s consumption and dehumanization of women in their expression of feminine womanhood is shitty

#pro trans detrans #gender ramblings #diva speaks

[rhinorapscallion]

There's a weird feeling I get when I'm thinking about my own gender identity. I don't identify with any gender and consider myself nonbinary. But I don't act like it, I guess? I'm still using He/Him a majority of the time, I still wear the same clothes, and in all accounts to pretty much anyone but me. I'm still a dude. But I don't think that way.

Im just me. I was still me when I identified my self as a man, just now I don't. I don't understand why, I don't think I'll ever understand why. But I just generally don't think of myself as a man, nor do I think of myself as a woman. I am just human. Confused because I don't seem to fit a label, but sure that I don't fit the one given to me.

#lgbtq #nonbinary #gender

[enbesbians]

Hi there. I am currently struggling with my gender. To put it simply, my birth gender is female but lately I've been feeling a detachment to it. Some days I feel like a woman and other days nothing. Just me. I don't know if that makes sense. But I've simply deduced that I'm non-binary. I've read a lot about it, but I still have doubts. Also, I think it's a bit related but I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I want to look like a masc because I find myself more attractive that way and I feel more comfortable than my feminine version. I've always used to be a fem but as I said, I'm more comfortable in my skin as a masc. The problem is that when I see tiktoks of women wearing make-up and pretty clothes, I feel the need to become a feminine again. I used to love doing my makeup and I want so much to do it again. However, I tried it again not long ago and was repulsed by make-up, if I do say so myself. I'm really lost.

hi there pretty thing, firstly i want you to know that what you’re going through is absolutely okay. self discovery is such a hard thing to process and it can take a very long time to feel content within yourself and just know that each step you take is like leaping over mountains, you’re doing an amazing job.

i want to congratulate you even if you don’t feel so sure you’re nonbinary. if you do so happen to change, im still proud of you. gift yourself the opportunity of self care and think of it as character building— ‘this is who i am now’. no matter if you see others wear pretty clothes, makeup, dresses or anything opted to be feminine, you can still be pretty and masc presenting. oh all the pretty mascs in the world… you’re definitely one of them. if you feel comfortable that way, then be kind towards yourself and continue to present yourself that way. you don’t need to appear something else you don’t resonate with just to be socially ‘pretty’ since you were afab.

you’re so pretty in your boxers.. you’re so pretty in your jeans and ‘boy’ shirts… you’re so pretty in your masc styled hair. you’re a pretty person no matter how unfem you are and choose to continue to be. the prettiest in fact.

ive dealt with similar issues and even to this day being a nonbinary person (they/them pronouns) i give myself a hard time in what i feel comfortable in and what i deem to be androgynous in how i present myself. im moreso masculine and grew up as a tomboy— im tall… i have a deep, raspy voice so whenever someone would hear me over the phone they automatically assumed i was just a little boy. i knew i didn’t want to be a girl at the age of 6 but i also knew that i didn’t want to be a boy either. i slung myself around when it came to clothes, hating the fact that i was forced to wear dresses and look all pretty and proper in formal settings. having my legs being shown felt like hot lava was being poured against my thighs— i felt so exposed. my body is very curvy and so lots of people commented on that too and i SWORE id never wear makeup because of how it was presented in media— only for women and feminine presenting people.

one time when i was 13, i was given money to buy any type of clothes i wanted and i ended up in the male section— a dark crimson and black strapped shirt with a little pocket on the left side of my breast— i wore that so goddamn much it didn’t even seem like i had any other shirt. my gender felt affirmed and i felt so comfortable.

as i grew and was able to dress how i wanted to dress, i present as genderless, adding things that were both fem and masc, but how i put it together made it seem like it was neither. anything you put together doesn’t have to have a certain gender to it— it’s how you put it together and style yourself. my love for gothic/horror makeup felt easier to wear because i didn’t have to do full glam with good thick eyebrows, shimmer shadows and bold red lipstick, i could wear dark eyeliner, deep red shadows, maybe even dramatize my cheekbones. with makeup, you can manipulate your face in any shape or form. i think the way makeup is presented it makes it seem like there’s only one way of wearing it and it enables femininity… that’s not true. it can affirm masculinity and androgyny, it’s all how you put it together. trial and error and in the end you’ll find something that fits you.

to sum it all up, it’s amazing that you’re so self aware about what makes you feel good— keep paying attention to that. keep wearing things that makes you feel ‘pretty’ without needing to be like those girls on tik tok. be kinder to yourself and realize that whatever you want to try is okay and if you so happen to not like how it looks on you, then try something else. it’s a learning process and it might seem hard in the beginning— dreadful and never ending, but once you find the clothes that hang off your frame just right and if you want to, find makeup that can highlight your masculinity, god you’ll feel like you’re on top of the fucking world and ill be there to smile.

if you ever have more questions, ask away. im here. just try not to be so hard on yourself. sit down and breathe… don’t compare yourself to others, they don’t matter. pay attention to you, be selfish and find your true self you’re searching for.

#fern talks🍃 #lesbian #sapphic #wlw

[notreallyagoddess]

Sometimes I wonder what it means to be a lesbian or generally any mono sexuality. Like I have in times before used both pan and poly in different moments, and nowadays I use sapphic or lesbian in general.

But it feels hypocrital of me, cuz given my understanding that gender is quite the Chaotic things, what does it mean to be attracted to woman and nb people? Even more when Im a aroace, Im not romantically nor sexually attracted to people (normally) and it is much more that I define my sexuality on who I can be intimate (emotionally and physically as in cuddle etc, since... Autism makes it hard to deal with people Im not specially close being in physical) but Im not sure.

Like, is it perhaps a internalized homophobia from when I was cis? Is it a fear of men (but I wouldnt make total sense, Im friends and care for guys and in general those I dont feel confortable will not even be in my bubble, but even then I feel confortable less confortable and when it happens of someone coming out as trans I generally am much more confortable. Well at least I know it is about the gender and not sex cuz it would be really shitty), idk.

It kinda infuriates me cuz when I was starting to understand my gender I came to the conclusion that "gender is fake and I choose what makes me more confortable" but what does it mean to others? Like it feels dumb, how the fuck would it work to be attracted to genderfluid people (in this lógic presented previously), if it is such a hard wired concept of "women and nb", isnt it simplist? Treating nb people as a third gender? Like I myself am not simply a "woman" (even if to help cis people i say simply that i am a trans woman), I am nonbinary that just like those terms.

Ugh yeh, that is my rant bye.

#temmie archive #rant #queer #bad writting cuz english is not my first language and my keyboards keeps trying to autocorrect to portuguese words #and Im too lazy to change it to US-EN #wlw #lesbian #sapphic #nonbinary #autism #aroace

[blaqueswanzaghouliishiilikeda]

.

k…so…hmm i don’t know if i’ll leave this up. im truly in a moment where i just wanna be lowkey. i don’t exactly want to be perceived too much rn. but this pride is really important to me. and i don’t really even know if this is worth anyone’s time, but i feel like i should say something...if only just to be able to look back and see that i did celebrate in my own way.

i don’t think i’ve had a pride where i’ve experienced it the way i would have liked, tho this is the year where i really feel whats at the heart of it the most. im queer and genderfluid/nonbinary. not just in how i love, but also how i live. i’ve had some recent revelations about all that that’s been really exciting, but a lot of figuring myself out happened in the midst of a great deal of crisis so there hasn’t been very much, joy or celebration these past few years. last year in particular was so hard i experience such a severe period of anhedonia and apathy i didn’t think i’d see the other side of it. iwtv was the first thing i was able to fully enjoy, and feel the enjoyment, and then coming on here and meeting so many amazing lgbtq+ people (espc. my black mutuals) has been mind altering. not even an exaggeration! talking and sharing ideas and laughing and just enjoying you guys has shifted my life experience in ways i wish you knew. i wish words could express it, but i don't think they really can. so i guess this is a thank you to my gay vampire show family as it is a very real celebration that i chose to watch it and that i'm still here.

there used to be a goal post for not being here. and wanting to see S2 shifted that. and then immersing myself within this fandom experience gave me reasons to push it further. and then suddenly i was being inspired to do things for me that i had given up on just bc connections i've made. and now i dont even know where that goal post is. it used to be so clear and in sight. i was almost a statistic in the worst way. one of the most effective way to erase us is by making us take ourselves out of life so they can say it was us all along. something was wrong within is. but nothing is wrong with all the beautifully complex and chaotic ways i exist. something is wrong with a society that doesn't want me in it when the world clearly does. when it keeps giving me reasons to keep going and keep fighting despite the opposition. even if i took myself out, i couldn't be erased anyways bc i’m so loved. as i am. im loved. and i love and that’s really untouchable. on the other side of not being able to feel, and not being able to care. im reminded im loved. and i feel it now. and i care so much about it that its given me fight. its given me the stubbornness and spite required to live in all this.

i think a lot about this.

[image description: a poem by Lucille Clifton titled - won’t you celebrate with me.

won’t you celebrate with me

what i have shaped into

a kind of life? i had no model

born in babylon

both nonwhite and woman

what did i see to be except myself?

i made it up

here on this bridge between

starshine and clay,

my one hand holding tight

my other hand; come celebrate

with me that everyday

something has tried to kill me

and has failed.

end image description]

i know theres a lot of pain. and grief and uncertainty that exists throughout this fandom. i know there’s a lot people are experiencing that they aren't sharing or getting into. if my life is anything to go by i know that suffering in this life can sometimes be so egregious you question what it’s all for. i question that a lot. even now. and i don't have an answer really. I don't think it’s my place to answer that for others anyways. but i’m celebrating you guys bc you’ve helped me feel. and care. and i attribute so much of the joys i’ve had these past several months to getting to experience you all. you were here when i came searching for something to connect to. even if i didn’t realize that’s what i was doing at the time. we’re here together now. and you may not know it or feel it. but just you being here ripples and reaches. so i really hope you’ll celebrate with me. they didn't kill us. and the ones that have passed live on in the ways we still love them. still grieve them. and honor them in everything we do. our lives are written in pen and permanent marker all over the world. they’ll tear off the flesh of their fingers, raw and bloody, before they ever succeed in wiping us away. we’re rooted in the core. the earth remembers us and keeps bringing us back. bc we belong here. happy pride.

#a little pride message to my fellow children of gay vampire divorce #this fandom has been really meaningful #also a personal message to myself about what it is to survive #i used to hate when people called me a survivor. it still kinda irks me #but i do like being something that can’t be killed #queer really and truly as in fuck you #but also queer as in i love you sm #🌈💕✨🫶🏾 #mw posts

[motherfuckermorgan]

pride month this year has given me a bit to chew on and i think it is more accurate to place myself as "nonbinary transfem" than a full on trans woman though sometimes i still identify with that. im not sure if this counts as genderfluid or not. not sure it matters too much. hi

you can use they/them for me (and it might even be preferred currently) but you can still use she/her for me and i'll think that's cool too. for all my people who are also gender in a weird way, happy pride and keep on being weird 💛🤍💜🖤

#i posted this on twitter also but decided it should go here too

[chaoxfix]

Hey, i might be wrong but i think i remember you making a post for international women's day, and in it you said that you went through a period of thinking you werent a woman at all but then realised you were actually a lesbian. I just wanted to ask how you figured it out? I cant figure out if im a trans guy or a lesbian and I'm sort of desperate for guidance rn. Sorry this is a bit out of the blue and i totally get it if you dont wanna talk about it. Hope you're having a good day and take care!

ah, this is definitely a tough one, so please know that wherever your journey takes you i hope you find happiness and peace! im also not the end-all-be-all and im also not the sexuality and gender police. people can have similar experiences and feelings and still end up using different terminology and understanding themselves completely in a way that's totally different from one another, so please don't feel the need to use my experience as a roadmap for yourself.

under the cut in case discussion of sexuality and gender is triggering! genuinely, for my trans followers especially, please don't feel the need to look at this if it's something you would be uncomfortable reading. my journey definitely doesn't need to be yours.

in the end there are a few important details for why i ended up thinking i was a guy, or at least nonbinary

grew up evangelical christian and never really believed or felt the faith i was 'supposed' to feel. i also had trouble connecting with my family since they earnestly did believe it. i felt like a stranger in my own home, and worried that someday they'd disown me. i was also terrified of hell, and of 'sinning'. (making mistakes - see 4)

realized i liked girls when i was 12 and not only did i not know much about being gay aside from it being a 'sin', every girl in my grade talked so much about crushes when we were 12 that i felt super isolated from them as a peer group. due to 1 (the evangelical thing) i also grew up knowing my expectation in god's eyes was to be a christian wife and mom someday, and even aside from the 'sin' aspect and the disowning aspect, realizing i liked girls and didnt really like boys, the evangelical ideal for me was suddenly so, so terrifying.

i believed i was a tomboy growing up, but ultimately had to play with mostly feminine toys bc thats what i was given. i wanted to play with my brother but i was often left behind. i had a pretty lonely childhood and associated close friendships with my brother and his friends, not me and the other girls on the playground. when i was really little my best friend was a boy who stopped being friends with me because 'girls cant play power rangers or star wars' so that was probably pretty impactful on my psyche.

i was terrified of making mistakes due to my evangelical upbringing. because i didnt have faith i was so, so terrified of anything i did that could be considered wrong. i wanted to banish everything i'd ever done wrong, even the tiniest misstep, from everyone's memory as well as my own.

i grew up feeling guilty for any of my accomplishments because i was compared favorably to my brother and instead of feeling proud of myself, i felt like the worst person alive if i was being used as 'motivation' or a 'positive example.'

i wanted so badly to be respected by peers. but there were instances where i was told at like. debate teams. 'wow, i thought you were just here to look pretty'

an older trans friend told me he wished he'd known he was trans at my age so he wouldn't have wasted so much time, and told me i was probably trans too because he'd been just like me a few years ago, and that i should get started on social transition so it'd be easier to transition medically when i was older

i had a lot of tomboy interests, and grew up really enjoying mostly 'boy' cartoons. i also really wanted to get into parkour and obstacle courses and the punk scene, which had mostly guys where i lived

i really, really, really hated myself. i would try to reinvent myself every time i moved, but no matter what, i was still myself wherever i went -- awkward, shy, smart and interesting but always puts my foot in my mouth eventually. the only way to avoid that would be to completely change myself. every memory i had, i wanted to get rid of and replace with one from someone better.

i hated my name and body and face and personality and voice and hobbies. everything that's hardest to change, i hated viscerally.

so basically, those were the top 10 reasons i thought i was trans. ultimately, i ended up not being trans. but i thought i was for the better part of 5 years, closer to 6 altogether. i went by a gender neutral name for most of that time. every day i went by that name i was convinced that someday it'd actually feel like me, and i'd feel better for changing my name. but it never really happened. but i still hated my birth name, too, so... what was the issue? i couldnt figure it out, and was so, so anxious about it.

well, turns out the issue was reasons 9 and 10. i hated myself. and that issue was caused by 1. all of it ties back to being raised evangelical christian.

ultimately, ive been dealing with handling my depression and self-hate and anxiety. and i realized that, for me, trying to be a boy, or at least not a girl, was part of me just wanting to destroy myself in any way i could.

when i was 12, i wanted to kill myself, or at least do it by 18. when i was 14, i was presented with the option of reinventing myself as a completely different person. that seemed like the better option. but i think, overall, i didn't need to destroy anything or become someone completely different.

in the end, i don't hate myself for believing i was trans for 5+ years. i wasn't correct in my assessment of myself, but obsessing over it wouldn't really do any good at this point, so i try not to overthink it. im just sad that i didnt address the actual issues i had, and instead blanketed over them with the wrong solution.

the reason i don't see myself as nonbinary or trans anymore is because i was using it to fix the problem that i thought i had, not the problem i actually did. to me, even though i sincerely believed i was at the time, i think it was a way to not be the definition of woman that my parents had. (also, especially when i'd been assaulted at a pretty young age, as soon as i was starting to 'look like a woman' it felt safer to not become one...)

anyways. i think what i needed to do all along was just hate myself less, and try to like myself more.

that's hard to do. but it came in time, with focusing on hobbies that i genuinely enjoy. making connections and friendships that i felt seen and appreciated in, not just tolerated. pushing back on my family's views. understanding that being a woman doesn't have to mean settling down with a husband and having kids. it also meant finding jobs and careers that i feel like the best version of myself in, where i feel like im doing something good for both myself and others. and trying not to base my style or my appearance on how others would view me, but instead of how i wanted to view myself.

i hope this helps you sort through your thoughts!

[spacedykez]

my gender, at various times:

simply No

the collector the owl house

FUNKY COLORS

nonbinary in a "i have a gender but its just sorta neutral" way

don't have one

there is one but i don't wanna deal with it

can i call myself trans if i still mostly identify with my agab

branzy lifesteal

here, queer, and ready 2 commit crimes

he/him in the way ppl use she/her 4 fictional characters

deer

gender? i hardly know 'er!

i literally do not give a shit call me anything

eh. okay. maybe not masc terms.

my gender is comedic and you are all jesters in my court /ref

gender gremlin

FUCK THE GOVERNMENT CALL ME EVERYTHING

eh. female. i suppose.

do not perceive me as a woman i will fucking die

yeah i'm a female!

scott smajor empires s2

fuck u bitch my gender is Pure Spite

otherworldly

agender

the fuck Is gender. who knows.

adrian the owl house

this one picrew i found

whatever will piss off the most conservatives

Shiny Thing

wilbur soot but not in a masc way

the elves from lotr

demigirl would probably be the most accurate label right now

if given the choice between male and female i would go with female. if given a neutral option i would choose neutral some days and female some other days, depending on my mood.

shit yeah im genderfae

FUCK YEAH IM GENDERFAE

#gender things #the otter splashes

[brigatebajor]

i think i reached gender enlightenment the other day while talking w the comps. w the ame if you will. in that ive always said gender isnt real without actually understanding this concept fully until i started to live as myself irl. and then it started to seep in. that i am a trans man according to my university, a cis woman whos changed her name according to some of my friends, a nonbinary butch lesbian according to other friends, a "person who uses all pronouns" according to my friends in certain activist circles, an extra masc lesbian according to other friends in other activist circles, a poor traumatized girl whos lost herself according to my mom, a guy whos finding himself according to my therapist, the big creature who cleans the litterbox according to my cat. and that when im alone with myself i find it harder to define who i am, according to myself. and that this is probably because naturally, as per my own nature, defining myself isnt a necessity. the discourse surrounding labels and definitions has split our community for so long that it almost feels stupid to type this out (and truthfully this realization came to me as we were criticizing precisely a debate on labels which makes this even funnier) but i also want to get this off my chest. most of us will find comfort in a definition, and i thought i did too, for so long, because it allowed me to bounce back the definitions the world tried to forcefully assign to me - no, im not x, im y. im z. im 0, !, iota. but lately this amalgamation of things that i am when im not alone has given me a new type of peace. maybe theres a bit of me in every single one of these things, maybe all these things combined make me who i am. i like the idea of being everything and nothing, of knowing that a part of me will always be at home wherever i am. im a sexual chameleon, and gender isnt real, have a good rest of the day yall

#long post

[remix-of-your-guts]

insisting that you're 'literally trans' over and over sounds kind of like the terf line about how everyone's non binary, so given that and your post history it looks really suspicious

okay i legit can't tell if this is bait or something because?? what???? i said i was "literally trans" one time because someone asked if radfems reblogging my post meant i agreed with their beliefs and i chose to interpret their question in good faith so i gave a legit answer. i haven't bothered to respond to a single comment from obvious terfs because im not into giving them the time of day.

i'm not sure how me simply existing as a trans individual is agreeing with the argument that terfs make to try and erase the existence of us that "everyone is basically nonbinary because gender isn't psychological at all it's just what's in your pants" (im assuming that's the line you're talking abt and if not then idk what that is) and that's frankly a bizarre leap to make. especially because i don't even call myself nonbinary, im just a genderqueer (as in my gender is inseparable from my queerness) transsexual man.

and just what the hell is suspicious about my post history? i've been posting about trans rights and trans-inclusive feminism since i started this blog, though i can't guarantee every hot take i've had on incredibly niche intra-community discourse aligns with my current beliefs (which mostly boils down to "internet discourse is stupid" and idc)

i don't understand the phrasing here as though i'm fighting widespread accusations of transphobia or transmisogyny when this is literally the first comment i've ever gotten insinuating something like that??? of course that's not including the terfs saying "so close bestie" right before calling me a "retarded tra" but since when do we base our claims of who is and is not a terf on what the terfs themself say, instead of what the person in question has actually said/done? plus making fun of how im "close but missing the point" because i said that a trans woman may have a bit of internalized misogyny is hardly saying i clearly agree with everything they stand for (in fact it's fundamentally about the fact that i dont). if thats what you consider being claimed by terfs, and if being claimed by terfs is what you consider the deciding factor in whether or not someone is one, then basically every blogger who's ever mentioned general feminism, periods, or being a woman on this website would be a terf (even trans femmes cuz ive seen posts from them accidentally get passed around terf circles without them knowing who op is). especially every transmasc on this website would be a terf then considering that they're so bizarrely determined to get us to join them while being violently bigoted against us and dehumanizing us (obv not to the extent of trans women but still it's hardly an effective recruitment tactic) and allying with the people that explicitly want our extermination.

i'd once again like to remind everyone that all i did was point out a woman who happens to be trans accidentally veering into perpetuating misogynistic stereotypes (something that i will call out even quicker when cis women do it, which they do all the fucking time) in a way that made it clear it wasn't a big deal and expecting no one except my followers (which i'm pretty confident in saying none of whom are at least obvious terfs) to see. hopefully we can all agree that trans women are not immune to accidentally perpetuating misogynistic stereotypes- not because of their gender but in spite of it because all women can be misogynistic because MISOGYNY 👏 IS 👏 NOT 👏 STORED 👏 IN 👏 THE 👏 GENDER

and for the record even in the tags of the og post i was saying that it's really sucky that people totally are going to overreact to this and give dylan disproportionate hate because there 100% is a double standard in how society at large responds to these things, and that terfs are going to use it as "proof." but i don't think that just because accusations of misogyny are often weaponized against trans women we can never engage in good faith criticism of them??? in fact i think that makes it very important to help each other make sure there isn't any grain of truth terfs can latch onto (by which i mean being conscious of misogynistic patterns for everyone in our community, including anyone who considers themself an ally to trans people, not unfairly policing just trans women).

however obviously i regret making the post now since it clearly just encouraged the transmisogyny hate-train. and has caused my asks and notes to be flooded with transphobic bullshit directed at dylan, obviously, but also at myself. seriously, i've been deleting all the anons that are from terfs (like ive always done cuz they've targeted me before) but it's been some nasty shit. and it's really fucking annoying having to block every one that crawls over here to tell me why i'm apparently retarded for being trans and supporting my trans sisters. (sorry about the r slur- their words not mine)

okay done talking abt this forever now

[sonkfan005]

queer headcanon for sonic characters time hell yeah

btw i have asks open id love to hear headcanons from anyone else, too <3

sonic - quoi-biromantic (as in, cant easily differentiate between platonic and romantic affection, and biromantic) and ace. most asexual guy ever. cis guy, but honestly transfem sonic is based as hell. she would keep her name Sonic lol

tails - hes just a little guy. trans boy tails is one of my favourite headcanons

amy - aroace amy is awesome. i think she just has really strong platonic feelings, which she has taken to be romantic. (but biromantic heterosexual amy is a close second) cis girl

knuckles - gonna be honest transmasc knuckles is fucking epic. straight

shadow - transmasc shadow is also a good one. aro, heterosexual.

rouge - bi QUEEN. cis. my beautiful bisexual latina queen.

silver - nebularomantic (as in, has a hard time differentiating platonic from romantic affection due to ASD) and gay. hes the type to be super in denial about it. if nobody has written a fic about him coming out to himself ill write it myself. agender he/she if he had the time to figure it out lmfao. he doesnt know what the hell that means though. amy totally had to explain what being nonbinary was to him.

blaze - lesbian. butchy.

espio - homoromantic ace. cis guy. i have a hard time seeing hi as anything but that. i think hes like silver in that, he was also super in denial. tried to prove he wasnt gay lol

vector - not enough transmasc vector in this world, i think hes transmasc. came out to himself late in life. i think espio met him before he transitioned.... thatd make for a good fic. straight

big - he/him nb ace lesbian tbh

jet - in denial about bi. he gets a crush on a guy for the first time and hes like Wow Hes So Cool I Need To Beat Him Up. cis

wave - cishet. she keeps trying to get jet to admit hes bi but he wont listen

storm - aro heterosexual. no strong opinions. he thinks women are good-looking but i dont know how much hed be into romance... cis. gives awful dating advice to wave and jet.

eggman - most aro homosexual man to ever exist. cis. i do love seeing artworks of egg-woman though. if eggman were a woman shed also be aro homosexual/lesbian lol

whisper - trans girl whisper holds a dear place in my heart. lesbian

tangle - cis lesbian. she was a little lemur and saw a beautiful woman on tv and said Mom(s) I'm Marrying A Woman. i think she has two lesbian mothers too.

belle - heteroromantic ace. i like to imagine shes the type to sit around and picture her wedding when shes got nothing else to think about. cis, and hasnt given it much thought.

mimic - aroace. easy. cis

starline - transmasc and gay. good for him

lanolin - cishet, but honestly itd be funny if she were like, Oh Yeah Im Straight. Everyone Thinks Women Are Hot So That Doesnt Count and Belle just fuckin. stares at her lmao

vanilla - cishet also

sally - cis, bi

surge - ace lesbian, but she is far from ready to even think about romance,,, cis

i cant think of any more characters lol. i dont know anything about archie characters so i dont wanna include them

#[my headcanons] #i left out charmy and cream and kit cause i felt they were too young. #tails would have been left out but i do adore little trans boy tails. bullied and beaten for things outside of his control.... #finding joy with sonic and his friends #and being able to be himself #i love transfem sonic lol #if anyone has any fics featuring transfem sonic..... #id love to see them #transmasc sonic is far more popular #i like that too though its sweet #i dont know if im missing anyone significant #long post of rambling sorry lol #pleasepleaseplease share your opinions id love to hear them