#god what a magical experience

[tutuandscoot]

Oh nothing, just Scott getting Tessa out of their Moulin Rouge ending pose.

#this is one of the first things that sent me crazy about them. #namely the bun cuddle in the first one #but really all of them. #it inadvertently shows what incredible care and awareness he has for her. #understanding the position she is in #her character- having just died and to make it believable she has relaxed and he is holding her ‘lifeless’ body #so to make sure it’s not uncomfortable or difficult for her to get up he helps her all the back to her feet. #supporting her head means she isn’t going to strain or hurt her neck getting up. #and gives her time to get back on balance. #these are all minuscule things but along with everything else is inductive of what a caring #protective partner he is for her. #this is so important to me I get so emotional over it I love staring at any version of it #especially when it ends with one of their ‘I need your body to be part of my body. I need our skin to be one’ kind of embrace #also that first one he wraps his fingers all the way round her neck my god the exhilaration of that moment #that energy running through them I can’t even imagine there would be nothing like it #and to feel that together/that running through both of them an interesting each other holding that close #god what a magical experience #fd: moulin rouge #moulin rouge ending #and their cuddles

[sephospaganplace]

There are so so so many ways to experience the gods.

There is no right or wrong way. There is no blunt way. Its all feeling and ephemeral.

If you've felt warmth, if you've had a dream, if you've seen a crow that stares at you for too long, if something inexplicable happens and you're lucky suddenly, if you've caught eyes with a stranger and felt like you knew each other. If the candle flickers a certain way, if one time when you're singing your voice sounds gorgeous in a way you weren't expecting, these are all the presence of a god.

God phoning is popular on witchtok but half the time what they're saying is bullshit. I've very very rarely heard a voice and every single time it was my own voice, just suffused with something, saying something I normally wouldn’t say. Or maybe I would. I've never heard a clear, distinct, audible voice. Its an invisible world we're connecting with, its a different plain. We cannot experience it the same way we experience every day life.

We'll never sit down at a coffee table across from the physical manifestation of our god, and know that its them, not until after. And even then we can never be sure. That’s the nature of it. There are no absolutes, there cannot be. That’s what makes it beautiful. That’s where belief comes in. It isn't about being good enough or worthy enough or devout enough, that doesn't exist. That isn’t what its about at all. You are worthy even if the divine doesn’t manifest in a way we've been told is the only real way, and you are connecting even if you cant see it now. My most intense spiritual experiences are never something I realize are happening in the moment, its always only after that I can see it clearly.

The gods are all around us.

#Hellenism #Paganism #deity communication #my posts #I will never forgive witchtok for making an entire generation of pagans feel inadequate #You are good enough your practice is enough your experiences with the gods are good and normal #You don't have to have a godphone or intense dreams or whatever the hell they're claiming they're doing for clout #Even if what they're saying is true one of the Delphic Maxims is literally 'Do not boast about power' #Don't tear yourself to shreds #we all want to feel like this is real #to KNOW that this is real #but there is no way of knowing and having proof isnt the point #it isn't #it's about you and your soul and your spiritual journey and connecting with the magic in you #repeat after me #you are good enough. #the gods are with you in ways you cannot see #in ways you aren't meant to see #live your life #keep going keep building something in yourself take CARE of yourself #thats them guiding you too #ok to reblog

[51ft]

my friend has a tactic to always kill the cambions on the nautiloid that involves swapping shadowheart and lae'zel's armour that i find super amusing (imagine how this conversation must have gone lol) but also made me realize just how many layers shady usually wears after seeing her in lae'zel's fit (like. she has knees?? wtf)

HAHAHAHA man im not gonna lie the first time i saw the gith armor on a non-gith i got jumpscared by how much skin there actually was bc..i guess... my brain glazed over the green...

(WHY DOES THE TACTIC INVOLVE SWAPPING THEIR ARMOR???????)

#GOD what would go through their minds if u made them switch underwear #theres always some level of ludonarrative dissonance w/ vidya games that aren't explicitly pure narrative experiences #but its always funny to consider like what IF ur companions re just sitting around watchin u gather 50495 books and looting every body #tav keeps forcing everyone to change clothes on the spot over and over again while comparing stats #everything in faerun is a magic one-size-fit-all #gortash is young #q&a

[chompe-diem]

already living in the au where riz is senior class president bc i know it's never becoming canon

#is that a liveblog i see? #riz gukgak #ever since sklonda said that shit the back of my mind has been like: 👁️ #and then in this latest ep with 'theres no grounds!!' in the next ep preview #not that kristen wld be a bad president! she infact wld probs be a good one #for all the normal reasons. with all the due respect and etc what do hs class presidents do #in my experience they like. kinda help run social events #like besides being acting principal in case of 3 emergencies in a row? they kinda just do jackshit #((sorry i have a complex from hs abt none of the clubs/organizations never actually doing anything lol)) #so like #in a normal sense kristen is great for that #but also sklonda my beloved my dear my adored #*cups sklonda outburst in my hands* #'i dont like the way your friends treat you!' #'i think my son would make a *great* class president.' #shes swaying me she's swaying me so good u guys #riz would not do what *i* think an average hs president wld do #but he would comb through the paperwork #and try to make the system usable and accessible #and run on something more than 3 threads a dream and the magic of chronomancy alone #sorry but that is so enticing to me. and nobody else i know #but to me? god that sounds so good i will live in that world for a moment or a few

[bonefall]

since bb is an au now i wanted to ask if the medicine cat rank would be changed at all namewise? ik the tribe has been completely reworked but the medicine cat name was also a pretty heavily contested against thing in regards to warriors anti-indigenous writing

Already done! I have been calling them Clerics for several months now, since even before it was an AU, and no one notices unless I point it out.

I chose Cleric because I want it to be obvious I am approaching them with Christian coding in mind. In Clanmew, the word for a Cleric is "Shomgorrl," "Moon-Rank," contrasting a leader, "Shaigorrl," "Star-Rank."

#They're Christian in a very 'american-protestant-evangelical' way because that is what I have experience with #'God is in your heart but if he's not telling you to do what I say you're not hearing him right' #'Also only engage in the rituals I tell you are safe because otherwise it's magic and the devil will trick you' #Better bones au #Bone babble #Plus the sort of tacky and silly way StarClan both controls everything and nothing

[sun-marie]

It's been a while since I last thought seriously about Dr*gon A*e (even prior to falling in love with BG3) and I think a big part of that is I'm not as big a fan of the setting and the worldbuilding as I used to be. Like to me it really does feel like BW looked at typical fantasy settings and went "hmm okay but what if there was Catholic-enforced racism and abelism". And like. Cool thought experiment bro. Do we really need three games made by primarily white guys about that.

#dragon age critical #marie speaks #idk if ableism is the best comparison for mage oppression but idk you get my larger point #I've heard that DA was supposedly BW's critical response to settings like Forgotten Realms after making the og BG games #and idk if that's true but I'd be willing to believe that bc that's what a lot of it's world building feels like #“oh u thought the elves where gonna be ethereal and respected? nah they're a haphazard blend of irl oppressed groups” #“oh u thought this fantasy world was gonna have a plethora of interesting and dynamic deities and gods? nah it's just fantasy Catholicism” #“oh u thought people who can use magic would have respected places in society? nah they're locked in jail for being Different” #like I feel like these ideas were kinda cool for one game. An expanded thought experiment #but idk if they were strong enough to sustain an entire franchise #without significantly expanding their pool of writers to get the perspectives of people they're attempting to represent at least #but that's a whole different issue #anyway DA has some legit cool concepts like the Grey Wardens that I will always love #and most of their early character work is still really strong #but for me every time that setting rears it's head problems arise #anyway if you're still a DA fan that's totally fine! I'm very happy for you! #don't let my salty ramblings spoil what resonates with you from these games #I'm just reflecting bc it used to be a huge part of my life especially through like all of highschool #and now it's just. not.

[cillyscribbles]

i love you broken speech i love you heavy accents i love you regional dialects i love you pidgins i love you sociolinguistics i love you beginner speakers i love you interjections i love you language

#learning language is genuinely such a magical thing #(ie absolute hell while you're doing it but god it feels so GOOD afterwards) #kinda like art. guess that's why i like it haha #cilly.txt #i'm just. man! thinking today #thinking about how my friends keep enduring me rambling on and on about lithuanian registers near daily because i find them so fascinating #thinking about how i sometimes say a phrase i translated in my head and get a weird look because it's not a thing in english #thinking about how nice it is to be taught by people who can tell just how GARBAGE you are right now but theyre genuinely thrilled #that youre trying and making an effort #thinking about how my teacher fr just told me to stick my tongue out so i could pronounce the danish 'dd' easier #thinking about how some kids had to spell out their names 3 times to me in lithuanian sign language because it was my first time there #but god were they thrilled when i finally got it #man #humans #learning #it's all so incredible isn't it #just #what an experience my god

[britneyshakespeare]

Being then in a pleasant frame of mind (from which I infer that poisoning is not always disagreeable in some stages of the process), I resolved to go to the play. It was Covent Garden Theatre that I chose; and there, from the back of a centre box, I saw Julius Caesar and the new Pantomime. To have all those noble Romans alive before me, and walking in and out for my entertainment, instead of being the stern taskmasters they had been at school, was a most novel and delightful effect. But the mingled reality and mystery of the whole show, the influence upon me of the poetry, the lights, the music, the company, the smooth stupendous changes of glittering and brilliant scenery, were so dazzling, and opened up such illimitable regions of delight, that when I came out into the rainy street, at twelve o'clock at night, I felt as if I had come from the clouds, where I had been leading a romantic life for ages, to a bawling, splashing, link-lighted, umbrella-struggling, hackney-coach-jostling, patten-clinking, muddy, miserable world.

David Copperfield by Charles Dickens, "Chapter 19: I Look About Me, and Make a Discovery"

#david copperfield experiences the magic of live theater! #diana rereads david copperfield #i was kicking and screaming when i read this paragraph #god i wish that were me #daisy has a taste for beauty! #this is me inside my deep and wonderful imagination in the year of our lord 2023 #i do have to admit i feel like i kinda wanna memorize some of my favorite paragraphs as i reread. i dont know why #i havent PURPOSEFULLY tried to memorize any literature. poetry or prose. since i was a teenager #it was sort of a childish habit of mine. i felt it somehow made me closer to it #not that it doesn't. if thats how it makes you feel. #i guess it also used to be my desire to act/perform. which i dont do at all anymore. shut-in that i am #but ive been so deep in the books and the imagination lately i fancy im practically putting on shows for myself #i live in them now and ill make myself believe them. thats what ill do! #dickens #david copperfield #quotes #victorian literature #shakespeare #julius caesar

[vaguely-concerned]

I want to feed this thing slowly into a woodchipper. it wouldn’t actually hurt him but it would give me some catharsis and apparently that’s the best I could hope for. I only knew the vaguest possible spoilers going in but I still hated him on sight. this thing has the cold dead pink eyes of a shark with albinism and can’t breathe without gaslighting a vulnerable teenage girl and I wish to see it utterly obliterated. fuck altruism and fighting for what’s good in the world, if I was a magical girl candidate I would have wished for kyubey to gain the ability to feel pain and then be allowed to murder him for real and that would’ve been worth it all honestly. I wish to see the look in his eyes when I say ‘I wish for you to gain the capacity to experience eternal suffering’ because by god if I’m going down I’m taking this accursed fluffball with me into hell.

(yes I am as usual about ten years late to the media party looking around the kitchen to see if there’s any cake left haha. I do appreciate a show that really sits down with you and goes ‘wow. our society truly does treat teenage girls like absolute trash huh’.

also the sheer boring nitty gritty admin stuff that must be going on in the background for homura on every loop is making me laugh so hard, since none of her offensive abilities are innate, she’s just that ‘AND A GLOCK!’ meme. speedrunning strats to find the first and best bazooka engage. considering her last stand against walpurgisnacht it’s no wonder she never got around to explaining what was going on to the transdimensional love of her life until the very end, she was presumably busy hoarding every piece of military tech if not on the face of the earth then at least within japan’s borders)

#puella magi madoka magica #kyubey #off all things THIS is what truly allowed all my simmering rage to finally rise to the surface like the wrath of god hfskjdflsa #I'd set the new magical girl to witch speed record and I'm okay with that #‘I wish for all of your kind to unavoidably experience pain so I could crucify you as a warning to the rest of them’ #the metaphysical ramifications would be unfathomable but the emotional satisfaction... can't pass it up

[moe-broey]

@eriisaam Had a "Haha YESSS" Sickos moment seeing this like YEESSS!!! I will Show You (and everyone else here I'm trapping you all here to Look At My OC boy)

But I do put a lot of thought into the Function of outfits/accessories! Even when it's stupid. ESPECIALLY when it's stupid, actually. It is one of my favorite things to do LMFAOO

The anatomy of ITS HOOVES (you bitch!) -- Transcribing this into the main body of the post bc it is so significant to me

1.) Leather straps hug the ankles, providing support! (Thinking on it now though, I hope it doesn't cut off circulation...)

2.) The bottom of the shoe has a solid base, keeping its feet firmly planted on the ground.

3.) Aesthetically inspired by tabis, may even have that split toe... but the wood base of the wedges and metal of the "hooves" themselves don't seem conducive to The Purpose/Build Of tabis, traditionally. (Maybe it still serves a purpose, though...?)

As a sidenote/addition, jika-tabi are what I was referencing here!

There's a bit of uncertainty on that third note LMFAO, but thinking on it deeper (beyond aesthetics), I think it still fits. Something that stood out to me is the flexibility and grip of jika-tabi. Even conceptualizing Moe's shoes as they are, I think in the back of my mind I am thinking about the flexibility they Could theoretically provide if you squint (notably, the ankle straps layered on tights -- I imagine them snug, but malleable enough to be flexible. All the while, being lightweight).

Also just.

I don't know how this is going to help Moe in combat. Especially in flat grassy terrain. But one Must Imagine Moe scaling up a cliff or tree damn near vertically.

Other details!

Alfonse (and Sharena's by extension, the bottoms of their shoes are pretty much identical!) shoes

And!!!

A visual on how I adapted Kiran's boots into whatever Moe has going on. (Same shapes, meaning, similar silhouettes going on here -- the black tights mimicking the brown part of the boot, even the red part on the bottom as well tbh! Just switching some things around to fit Moe's theming more!)

BUT ALSO. BACK. TO YOUR MAIN POINT. Yes absolutely if a shit ton of Heroes can get away with wearing stilettos to the battlefield I think Moe can get away with its tabi-style ankle-breaker goat wedges. 😤😤😤 Perhaps up a mountain of some sort (I'M ALSO. Just thinking about how some people are exceptionally skilled at performing athletic feats wearing high heels. And all the potential implications of what that says about Moe, actually 🤔)

#summoner oc #moe tag #though i do visualize moe's pre-transition self often wearing flats/only a slight raised heel. #also i keep calling them ankle breakers bc i do have personal experience w That Type Of Sandal and GOD #it is SO HAZARDOUS LMFAOOOOO #but also like. nothing is more powerful than being committed to A Look. #when i was still in school and i was committed to an outfit. i'd wear heels about it. walking to school too. #nothing could stop me. #now the real question is where the fuck did it find those?????????? #AND THE REAL ANSWER. is in the intro cutscene/what i remember of it when kiran is being summoned #to askr themselves. they seemed to undergo some sort of magical girl adjacent transformation #EXAGGERATING. but it did seem that way! #those hooves are a gift from askr himself (or however that lore goes) #moe lore #my art

[whatudottu]

Absolute theory/headcanon/analysis/general idea legend whatudottu character arc of slowly becoming one of the four (4) Cerebrocrustacean fans in the entire fandom (even if Petrosapiens will always be #1 in its heart, which, you know, completely understandable NGL) let’s gooooo!

Also I can’t believe I haven’t made this connection until now but:

Cerebrocrustacean: “My people have a rich and complex history and culture, but most of the galactic audience boils us down to being nothing but ‘the violently bigoted xenophobes who keep destroying their own planet’ and it frustrates me to no end.”

Gourmand who’s been forced to hear the same “I can excuse cannibalism but I draw the line at marrying outside of your own race” joke over and over again: “Yeah, welcome to the club, pal.”

Me and my homies (4) being cerebrocrustacean fans: If cerebrocrustaceans have 0 fans we are dead, haha- Would buy merchandise to convince CN that Brainstorm is a cool transformation *looks over my shoulder to see the playdough brainstorm with removable brain toy that either I or my sibling got millions of years ago*

ANYWAY!

It's very evident when I don't think about a particular species when I have to look something up like the gourmand cannibalism, but seeing as though they have a collective pocket dimension where their stomach goes (at least that's where the logic got them in the show instead of being consumed food expelled in energy reflux), if cannibalism didn't implode the two gourmands like how bag of holding inception works then I suppose it's far better than *shudders* perk murk relationships. Got a whole 'house divided' 'alike in dignity' situation over here, Perkulet and Murktague having asses-

...You know what if I get a chance to think about gourmands in more detail I might turn that pocket dimension into a magic thing instead of a xenobiology thing that's just overall bullshit- comes free with potentially real cannibalism but like they've eaten 11 planets I think cannibalism just in general pales in comparison to what they could do-

Well, whatever cannibalism gourmands excuse and all the jokes they have to deal with about perk murk relationships being somehow much much worse, at least they don't get shoveled with 'violent bigots' that 'aren't smart enough to support their lifestyle without destroying their own planet' which well- I don't have any present headcanons as to why Encephalonus is on it's 4th edition yet but let me tell you, when cerebrocrutaceans found out the galvans lost their planet (admittedly to the Highbreed Invasion) and then galvans WEREN'T immediately assumed to have fucked up somewhere, you can bet that Dr Psychobos was one in the crowd that went absolutely livid.

#ask #anonymous #cerebrocrustacean #gourmand #ben 10 #also i wasn't kidding when i said i had that toy he's kinda sitting on a bench that admittedly has a lot of other ben 10 toys #childhood stuff mostly but hey just means i've been into ben 10 for a while... but there's no diamondhead to speak of #<- joined ben 10 on complete dvd set of os + started af with a disc from a kids magazine with a season 1 sneak peak #anyway today i learnt that gourmand physiology has some bullshit in it so now that's potentially on my mutants and magic list to change #potentially since the revelation was a shotgun blast to the face of 'oh right yeah THAT' #maybe gourmands can be a little bit termite in addition to being amoeba and frogs- the queen being bigger than them would make sense #and then because peptos has been eaten like 11 times now we know what constantly keeps happening to gourmand's planet #not to be a killjoy nerd here but a quick solution to encephalonus iv's name is to be the 4th planet to the star encephalonus which- #would be how cerebrocrustaceans may consider naming the planets in their solar system #as opposed to coming up with more creative names like greek gods- anatomy- and dirt #and like it would make the stereotype just absolutely worse because cerebrocrustaceans don't even have a dead planet let alone 3 #'why do you assume we destroyed our planet we're just the 4th planet in the solar system' they shout #but really i'm just positing that as my way of saying 'i haven't thought it through yet' #maybe they've been experimenting with artificial planets- the mega-ist of megastructures #it's just that the 4th one is the most recent and hopeful not inefficient model #maybe they have farmed up all the resources of their several planets- draining them dry like how billionares on earth want to #idk maybe it's both- they went too far with the first- tried to delay the second- decided to make a third but it broke- 4th time's the char #so far- at least #you know what i think i just answered my own question yeah i'll do that one #shortterm thinking got the first planet destroyed- forgot longterm thinking for second- made a shortterm solution the third- #and now the fourth time they're really hoping that history and longterm planning helps them this time around

[chaos0pikachu]

finally got around to watching Cherry Magic and when Minato said “I’ll be gentle” what I heard is “I’ma eat this old man alive” 

#cherry magic #good for minato tbh #make tsuge cry tbh #tsuge is legit such a mess but know what #sometimes writers just Be Like That #I say from experience #minato was channeling that wap energy and tsuge def does not know what the fuck that is #right in front of udon's salad and everything my god #chaos pikachu speaks

[crimeronan]

look i'm fully aware that i'm biased in ronanessy until i die but ohhhhh my god greywaren hennessy. oh my god greywaren hennessy especially at the Start Of The Book. greywaren hennessy who keeps trying so so so hard to kill herself and binge drinking and doing hard drugs and smashing things up and frightening everyone around her even though she's ostensibly gotten exactly what she so desperately wanted for the entirety of the first two books, even though she's free from the fear of apocalypse and destruction for the first time.... hennessy going nuclear when jordan breaks up with her and immediately trying to find ways to destroy even more shit.... hennessy who was not even this bad off in cdth when she was literally actively constantly dying and her narration saying nothing about it beyond lmao i'm my mother's daughter.... how there's something stark and yawning and looming in what she DOESN'T say even more than what she Does...... and then after half the book or so of this manic imploding collapse she's like. okay.

i think i killed my best friend.

#'oh my god i'll take you to the grave the only love i've ever known the only soul i ever saved' #that she doesn't acknowledge what happened to ronan even once for so long is. so purposeful. and a masterstroke #especially because after she finally admits to herself that she killed him. she can finally move on enough to start #fixing some of what she's done. admitting that she loves someone who doesn't share her face #wanting him choosing him making a lifeline and soulmate magic out of it #when she was fucking CRAZED with grief for the whole first half of the story #throws up about it. ronanessy perfect relationship arc perfect fiction experience absolutely no notes. GOD. #hennessy #cdth #greywaren #greywaren spoilers #horrible nightmare trauma pals #suicide m

[feytouchedtwilight]

“There was a time, Becket knew, when holy people were not safe. When they were not tame. When they were not the gentle shepherds, but the keepers of mysteries and the guardians of fire. As a priest, he turned wine into blood and bread into flesh—why had that ever become a tame thing, a safe thing? God was not safe. The numinous was not safe. So why then had he hemmed in his faith with safety? His hunger with rules? His zeal with bloodless, methodical praxis? He loved rituals, rites, and liturgies, that was unchanged. He loved the motions of them, the ancient words, the less-than-ancient words made to sound older than they were. But he’d been reduced by them, he saw now. Or perhaps not him personally, but his understanding, his relationship with God and belief. He’d hoped to wrestle it into submission, that relationship, and make it something that matched the way other people believed. He’d hoped to hide his zeal, stuff it into the corners of himself, bind it and lash it to his heart so it could never make it to his mouth to his hands and deeds. So that it could never make itself known. All he’d wanted, all he’d ever wanted, was to believe like other people did. Communally and pleasantly, and with glad hearts that could easily bear the distance between themselves and God. Not wild and alone. Chasing after God like an abandoned bridegroom. … Yes, the zeal was dangerous. Yes, it could consume him if he wasn’t strong enough. But he was tired of fighting it. Tired of pushing away love and sex and feral fun, tired of keeping his hunger for God locked in a box because he felt like he had to.”

~ Door of Bruises by Sierra Simone

#read this lately and it really spoke to me #I wish we learned more of Becket and what his zeal is #christianity always felt like this to me- distant #I don’t know what I actually want though #I don’t know what religion actually is to me #I don’t experience zeal I don’t experience much of anything #I just feel kinda numb all the time- is probably a schizoid thing #I want to get into magic and witchcraft and god worshiping but I just can’t #I want something in my life though #this book had another interesting theme : what is ritual to humans as a species? #and I’ve been thinking a lot about that one too #I want more ritual in my life but I don’t know how to add it #especially when I’m struggling with me/cfs and the chronic fatigue etc of it #thinking about how in a lot of ways religion has become domesticated it’s no longer wild and free #something about science taking away the mysticism but also we need science #so how do we add ritual and magic back to our lives then #i wish I had an answer #fey talks

[fallowtail]

i try not to let it get to me but the knowledge i am always going to be The Stupid One in every situation i’m in just…really, really sucks. sigh. oh well. i stay silly :3c

#cant even blame it on being audhd because everyone else i know who is #is smart and talented and their brains work alright 😭 i'm just stupid and incapable #i feel like i’m the only person out there who does not get to experience any of the benefits or joys of these things #for me it is nothing but brain damage and endless suffering with no brightside or intelligence or anything #but then everyone tells me i’m the bad guy because if there was a magic button that would make me not audhd i would click it immediately #like why am i wrong for not wanting to suffer #everyone else seems to have a special interest or a fixation and they can remember information about those things but i...dont. i can't. LO #i do not experience the autistic joy everyone else talks about. i dont have the adhd focusing on what you like superpowers or whatever #my autism made me barely pass highschool and i couldnt handle community college and i had to drop out and i can barely handle having #an entry level job that everyone patronizes me about #i'm barely verbal and i am losing my ability to function to brainfog and everyone around me treats me like i'm their little pet idiot #but wanting to change that about myself makes me evil and bad or something i guess #sorry to whine on tumblr like the good old days but twitter is sick of my shit LOL 😭 #pmdd making me spiral worse than usual #one of those times where i'm realizing that if everyone else experiences these things totally different from me than maybe that was never #what was wrong with me in the first place lol. maybe i dont have an explanation and i'm back to being 10 15 19 24 sobbing wondering why im #like this. why i'm so stupid. not even in a self hating way in a legitimately proven way that i am functioning below average intelligence. #ok im done sorryyyyy god i forgot how good tumblr is to vent on #z

[arolesbianism]

Mizuki vc calling all besties, survive

#rat rambles #sekai posting #in other news I am NOT ok #read the new story. oh baby. #ok ok look at me look at me. this gave me so much that I wanted and more #the big thing is that Im so so happy that they had mizuki relate to mafuyu the way they did #and Im also so glad that they tapped into the mizuki being the token good homelife haver here #Ive always felt that theyre the one with the most reference on what a healthy family looks like and as such felt that theyd best recognise #the true horror of mafuyu's home life #their home was their only safe space for a long time so the idea of losing that hits especially hard for them #also the whole thing abt them realising it was them 'running away' from their problems that ultinately saved them hit me hard #it just hits rly close to home for me. cause thats how shit really is sometimes. sometimes the best you can do is survive in the moment #and I think mafuyu rly needed to be told that. that sometimes you just need to survive moments. its not much but its the most they can do #godddd I love mizuki sm this was such a good mizuki event #also mafuyu. god. mafuyu. fuck man. mafuyu #all the scenes with them broke my fucking heart. and the scene with their mom. I wanted to kill that bitch. holy fucking shit #mafuyu is so so scared rn. theyre in a rly rly scary place. their rapidly losing the only comfort they had and its genuienly rly scary #its also so magical to me watching how far theyve come. they love 25ji so much. they have gotten so much better at expeessing themself to #what rly gets me is just how much their growth shows even outside of 25ji. as they grow closer to a self thats theirs it becomes harder to #hide that self and that in particular is very relatable to my own experiences #god. fucking hell. Im going to kill a man