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just-someone-online · 2 years

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AU Where Mommy Becomes a Reluctant Ally

Okay so I literally just thought of this and it definitely needs some tweaking.

- Poppy’s speech from the end of the chapter? Yeah, now that happens at the pit where she originally got snatched. Maybe it’s a variation of the debug version? I feel like beginning of ch.2 Poppy would be more up front than end of ch.2 Poppy.

- You and Poppy make it to the Game Station with little trouble. But upon reaching it you realize that you can’t leave for a few reasons.

1) The train code isn’t where Poppy said it would be.

2) Your grabpack doesn’t have the right hand (Pun unintended) to open the door.

3) There’s a giant Betty Spaghetty tangled in the train’s axles.

- Mommy notices you two and immediately reaches for you both, but you grab Poppy and move back before she can be grabbed. You ask what happens and Mommy explains that she and another toy had a little...disagreement that ended with her being run over. Poppy asks which toy did it, but Mommy won’t elaborate.

- You offer to untangle her but Poppy warns you that Mommy will attack you if you do. When Mommy sees you backing away from her, she reluctantly promises not to hurt you. She's been trapped under this thing for ages and she wants out. She even says she’ll give you the train code.

- Poppy trusts Mommy about as far as she can throw her but reluctantly helps you untangle her. Once you’re finished you take note of the sorry state Mommy’s limbs are in. They’re tightly knotted in some places and cut up from being, y’know, run over, but Mommy explains that it’s an easy fix as long as she can get to Playcare, giving her more incentive to not kill you yet.

- You ask about the train code and Mommy explains what she planned to do to whatever employee that was dumb enough to come back. As Mommy wraps herself around you and leads you and Poppy through the Game Station, Poppy begins to question your self preservations skills.

- You’d think getting the code would be easy now that Mommy is working with you, right? Wrong. The toys that Bunzo, the Mini Huggys, and PJ have been waiting for a playmate for a while, and the three of you will do nicely.

- Musical Memory is a breeze for Poppy. It’s still rigged of course, but she explains that she loves puzzles.

- As the three of you leave though, you can’t help but feel like something’s watching you. Something other than Bunzo.

- Whack-a-Wuggy is even easier with you and Mommy working together. But partway through, Mommy says that the Mini Huggys are being more aggressive than usual. Once the game is over, they all try to attack, but Mommy swings you through the window to escape.

- While you’re making your way back to the main section of the Game Station, you can’t help but notice the patches of blue fur scattered around the building. Poppy notices too and says that it looks like Huggy’s fur.

- Mommy - who’s mostly been reminiscing about the old days up until this point - says that she heard Huggy a little while before you and Poppy showed up. She says he sounded angry.

- You wince and think back to earlier that night. “I...may have dropped a crate on him and watched him fall into the depths of the factory.”

- Poppy and Mommy have very different reactions to this.

Poppy: ...What the fuck, y/n?!

Mommy: *Fucking wheezing*

- You explain what happened when you first entered the factory and Poppy has to concede that you were only acting in self defense. Mommy meanwhile, is laughing at how you’ve royally screwed yourself over.

- At least until Poppy says that Huggy doesn’t like her either. And in the state she’s in, she can’t really put up much of a fight. After that, very little is said about Huggy. You just try to keep your eyes peeled.

- When you meet Kissy Missy, Mommy flips out and nearly strangles you before Poppy tells her to calm down. Poppy tries to ask Kissy if she’s seen Huggy, but the pink monster leaves after pulling the switch.

- “I’m not sure why you thought she’d help,” Mommy says. “You know she always kept to herself.”

- While you’re trying to open the gates for Barry, you ask Mommy why she reacted the way she did. Mommy tries to dodge the question, but Poppy bluntly states that Mommy’s scared of Huggy. Mommy denies it, but Poppy brings up the last time she and Huggy fought.

- Naturally, you ask what the fight was about, and Mommy says that Huggy was upset over nothing.

- “It was because you kept treating me like a toy,” Poppy scoffs. “You shut my mouth and forced me to play with you.”

- “You are a doll, dear. What did you expect?”

- “To treat my like an actual person! You never do it to any of the others!”

- You try to defend Poppy, but Mommy quietly threatens to strangle you if you butt in. The two go at it for a few minutes before Poppy gets fed up. She climbs into a vent and tells you to find her when you get the rest of the code.

- Not even a minute later, you hear her screaming. You and Mommy follow the vents and find Poppy struggling in the hand of Huggy Wuggy. His fur is disheveled and matted with blood. You take a cautious step forward, but Huggy screeches at you and leaves with Poppy.

- You tell Mommy that you have to go after them, but she scoffs and says that neither of you would have a chance against Huggy. She still needs to go to Playcare, and you don’t have any crates on hand.

- Honestly, you’re a little tempted to leave Mommy and look for Poppy on your own, but you’d rather not face Huggy on your own again.

- You get to Statues, and before the instructional video can even play, Mommy launches you both through a window.

You: What the hell?!

Mommy: The game was impossible to win. I caved in the end of the course so I could kill you at the end.

- You’re really not surprised. For the last hour or so, Mommy had been very clear about what she was going to do to you once she was fixed.

- With Statues abruptly out of the way, you turn your attention back to Huggy. You don’t care how long it might take. You’re not leaving without Poppy.

- Almost as soon as you finish making that declaration, Huggy slams down behind you.

- He sees you, who sent him hurtling to the bottom of the factory. He sees Mommy, who treated Poppy like nothing more than a plaything.

- As you can probably guess, a chase ensues. The entire time, Poppy is screaming for Huggy to stop.

- Eventually you get to the grinder. Huggy’s hand gets stuck, and he accidentally turns it on as he tries to free himself.

- The screams he made will haunt you for months to come.

- As Poppy is screaming and crying for you to help him, it’s Mommy who reaches over and turns of the grinder. You faintly hear the sound of metal scraping on the floor, but you focus on Huggy instead.

- A tense silence follows as you all take in what just happened. Huggy shoots Mommy a questioning look.

Mommy: I wasn’t going to let you become a part of him. I don’t like you, but nobody deserves that.

- Huggy nods, and it seems that another truce has formed. As the four of you make your way back to the Game Station, you ask who “He” is. Huggy is shaking from the question, and Poppy and Mommy don’t answer.

- Poppy asks Huggy if he wants to come to Playcare with the rest of you. Given the state he’s in, he couldn’t refuse even if he wanted to.

- You all crowd into the cab and make your way to Playcare, only for the engine to pick up too much speed and crash...

#poppy playtime #mommy long legs #poppy the doll #huggy wuggy #bunzo bunny #poppy playtime x reader #kinda?#i honestly can't remember the last time i talked about something i liked this much #usually i just reblog shit #goddamn this got away from me #i didn't sleep and it caused me to ramble #this is for sure getting rewritten one day #maybe once more of the game gets released #it's for sure gonna have more mommy and poppy interactions

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emotional-engine · 10 months

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In case you missed - GREAT Neopets News!

I didn't see anybody talking about the news here, so I thought that I could share a summary.

The Neopets Team announced today that they're under new management. They're no longer affiliated with Jumpstart (which announced their closure back in June) or their parent company NetDragon.

In their blog post in the official Neopets Medium page, they confirm that they are now an independent company:

(Dominc Law, worked for NetDragon and was an old school Neopets player. He put together a team to work on saving the brand.)

Also in that blog post the team talks about how they are well aware of the problems the site has been through in the last decade, they acknowledge the lack of resources which resulted in the Neopets website being left broken.

Going ahead, they are going to focus on community requests, such as speeding up the process of Flash Games conversion, clearing up the page conversion backlog, bug fixes, mobile compatibility issues and improving customer support.

Most importantly, in my opinion, they clear up that they WILL NOT go forward with any Metaverse bullshit, and will instead work on creating a game that feels like Neopets:

At this point, they have secured $4M in funding from various (unnamed) investors with additional funding from the management buyout. For the first time in forever, it looks like TNT has the resources they need to move the brand forward. In the blog post, they mention they have already hired developers and artists to work on the fixes the site needs.

From what it looks like, the game will be a mobile social life-simulation, parallel to the current website. We don’t have to worry that neopets.com will be replaced by a mobile app.

As of now, they have announced:

A brand new plot, scheduled for early 2024

A 2 million(!) NeoCash giveaway

More transparency with monthly updates from the team, scheduled AMAs

Neopets will be under the control of a new, unified entity: World of Neopia, Inc - the website will remain the same (neopets.com)

A Brand Ambassador Program

No longer going forward with NFT/Metaverse stuff

At the end, they published a FAQ with some answers that I found to be good and very interesting:

You can read the entire blog post here.

Or watch the YouTube announcement (which is way shorter):

youtube

#neopets #putting my journo degree to a good use i think #i am in no way affiliated with TNT or jumpstart or netdragon etc #i'm just really really happy #things look bright for once and i'd like to share the news #i know some people might be skeptical but i'd like to be optimistic for once and trust the team #most of them nowadays are old players if i'm not mistaken #i don't think they like to see the website in shambles as it was #also really goddamn glad they're moving away from crypto shit #i appreciate the transparency #also be nice to me i'm shy #Youtube #i admit i got a little lazy by the end #nostalgia #y2k nostalgia #kidcore #will these tags even show up

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invinciblerodent · 5 months

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I'm sure someone smarter than me has said all this before, but 7000 vampire spawn, over roughly 200 years (let's just use that number y'know, why not), is just like. 35 per year. On average, give or take. With the Faerunian calendar of 36*10 days to a year, that's just about one person per tenday.

And going by the rules on "Handling Undead Hunger" outlined in Libris Mortis (yes it's 3.5E but the most complete guide on the undead in DnD that I know of), a vampire would need to feed roughly every 3 days in order to be comfortable.

30-some missing persons going unaccounted for over the course of a year in a city with as much crime as Baldur's Gate, is... probably reasonable, but there's likely at least some indication of an upper limit to how many mysterious disappearences the Flaming Fist will just not bother investigating. I don't recall there being mention of anything like willing blood donors or anything (if there were some and I just missed it this whole thing falls apart btw), but to go out and nab a new person each time ~~Master~~ is feeling peckish, that's just. That's just unsustainable. That'd be 120 people per year, or 2.5 per tenday. At that pace, not only would they have all gotten caught, they'd have completed the ritual in like under 60 years (which, from Sebastian just being alive, we know they got started at least 170 years ago).

So if we assume that the number of those brought in remained at least kinda consistent regardless of how many spawn were out actively hunting (20-50 per year sounds... kinda realistic), it could be reasonable to also assume that each victim was, on average, the "meal" for roughly ten days before ultimately being drained fully and turned. (Yes, I thought about draining them first and keeping bloodbanks, but... leaving them alive to keep them fresher for longer is more cruel, so lbr, it's more likely.)

It's... probably halfway reasonable then to assume then that Cazador fed off the average victim like 2-4 times, over the course of a number of days, no?

There's some room for variation in that number of course, like there were probably leaner years at the start, and later with 7 spawn all hunting consistently, the time between each was probably somewhat shorter, plus there were likely cases (like Astarion) when there was only one bite total. Maybe sometimes more were brought in at once for those parties that were mentioned, only to be..... stored, and uh..... enjoyed over the course of the next... however long time, during which the "favored" spawn maybe even got to "enjoy" some downtime.

so. that's a series of fun (not relly) thoughts.

I swear, every time I think about Cazador for whatever reason, that whole shitshow just gets worse.

[btw if we take Astarion's "I've bedded thousands" comment literally and assume he personally brought in around 2000 over ~170 years of being a spawn (there could be fewer and he could be rounding up like he consistently rounds 170 up to 200, but if it's significantly more, his siblings all must seriously suck at hunting), that's roughly an average of like... 12 people a year. Which is bad, of course, don't get me wrong, but I honestly halfway expected it to be a much less realistic-sounding number, I guess.]

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 cazador #cazador szarr #take this away from me please #i need this out of my brain #i need to stop thinking about this goddamn part of the game #it's just. so fascinatingly gross and cruel and evil #squirrel plays bg3 #i drop in at half past midnight with the numbers #im sleepy okay and i watched a “rare dialogue” video that was recommended to me on youtube #and it just. got me thinking

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snazum · 11 months

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Text in full:

“Why did you put these ideas in my head”

“Even thought it can’t be your fault”

“It’s just your nature. Not-Human. A.I.”

“Maybe I was always the problem”

“Maybe I projected onto you.”

“Turned you into the villain that I was”

#hlvrai #hlvrai gordon #fenrey #yeah its getting that tag its uh projection #im coping with shit okay #thought the coping got away from me lol #and turned into its own little thing I guess #yea this was the little project thing the other image came from #maybe none of this flows still idk its 3 am oh my god #I hope I did the text stuff right idk what I'm doing #angst #benrey #snazum draws #i forgot to tag my own goddamn art tag im so tired its now 4am

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thebeloathed · 10 days

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Holy shit holy shit actually going insane what the hell I need to explode or something hasdhsgaha

#WHAT. THE HELL. WAS THAT EPISODE.#FIRST OF ALL #HOT HUNTER LADY???#MY LESBIAN ASS WAS NOT READY I NEED HER TO CRUSH ME #and ALICE oh my GOD #literally the only OIAR worker who would call for help #and actually get away from the the dead body that just GOT UP AND CONTINUED TALKING????#AND THE GODDAMN TAPE RECORDER #tmagp #tmagp episode 15 #the magnus protocol

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eggdrawsthings · 1 year

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love your latest art. but where is bo?

busy kissing the Armorer on Mandalore wym

Seriously if u follow me u must know that I DO NOT ship Din with anyone. At all. Ever. Also, since you clearly don't understand it, a duet means a song for TWO ✌️people. It's a Clan of TWO. Leave the old man and his weird son alone jfc o(-(

#thoughts in space #Anonymous #Its inspiration is from Lone Wolf and Cub so where is the lone wolf if you give him a love interest????#i got this same question on my twitter post are yall the same person???#did you follow me here cos u mad i blocked you on sight?#why tf i keep attracting these ppl pls go away you r not welcome here 😭#this is a noromo mando blog goddamn it

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homeless202 · 7 months

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I’m new here and I absolutely love your type of blogs with analysis and meta and long texts~~

I was wondering—is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship the kind that could be interpreted as romantic?

first of all, welcome and ty! and sorry it took me so long to reply, i hope u're still around anon. now to answer ur question

i'll take this opportunity to share all my thoughts on the topic bc i have Many.

TLDR: it is possible to read it as romantic if you really want to, but it's not meant to (at least not as of right now in the story aka ch.224)

deep dive under the cut as to why

-> can Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship be interpreted as romantic?

i like how you phrased that bc, the thing is, interpretation is very subjective. you're welcome and allowed to interpret things however you want, but in EY&HJ's case, i feel like you'd have to work a lil extra hard to get to that point.

-> is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship meant to be interpreted as romantic?

this one's easy bc no. objectively Not. the genre of No Home is drama and slice of life (and once upon a time, horror). even if they were to ever end up in a romantic relationship, that's not what the story is about.

when i ask myself what the author's intention is with this story, i'd say it's to (realistically) portray how a young person with trauma would navigate another young person's trauma. and showing how easy it is to unintentionally fuck it up for various reasons: lacking context as to what exactly said trauma is, generally not knowing how to navigate it, their own trauma getting in the way, lacking the necessary resources. take your pick.

think of it like "how should i carry someone else's baggage when i have my own to deal with?" while also keeping in mind they're kids; they often don't have enough experience to know how to help, and even when they know what the right thing to do is, they're not old enough to take (legal) action.

and especially, the most heart-breaking yet realistic thing, when you're just getting to know someone, you can't know everything about them. it's so easy to accidentally do or say sth that cuts or offends when it wasn't meant to. but when they've got their own issues, it's hard not to take it personally (eg. EY talking about HJ's parents without knowing his mom died not long ago in the beginning of the story).

-> what even is Eunyung and Haejoon’s relationship??

this one's so funny bc i have no idea how to answer and i'm convinced not even EY and HJ themselves would know how to answer. they're not really friends; they got off on the wrong foot and kept walking with two left feet way too much to call themselves friends. the things that pushed them together the most were the dorms (not anymore) and the same friend group (more or less since EY has multiple).

what fits them best i'd say is "the universe forced us together against our will and now we're stuck with one another altho we hate each other" (<- at least in the beginning) extended with the "misery loves company" sentiment. finding comfort in someone who gets it, even tho they only kinda get it but not really but it works out anyway except it doesn't <- THERE'S NO NAME FOR THAT *cry* they invented a new type of character dynamic smh (i've never read a pairing with so much (romantic) potential only to see them completely fuck up their chance so royally by the end of their interaction EVERY SINGLE TIME. like yeah, enemies to lovers whatever BUT NOT TO THAT LEVEL HOLY SHIT)

they've changed each other, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. they're compatible in the way they understand each other on a deeper level and incompatible in the way they don't.

...however...

this is how HJ thinks of EY: (and also what No Home is truly abt)

and this is how EY feels about HJ after EY found out HJ used to steal as well (aka that HJ isn't perfect like the stuck up bitch EY thought he was at first):

so...

<- -> EY's first impression of HJ was that he was looking down on him and sth like "does this guy have ulterior motives? or is he just that naive being so trusting?" until EY found out HJ wasn't that different from him. after that, EY started admiring HJ for still managing to achieve things in life despite the hardships he had to go through. the type of admiration that can easily (and sometimes does) slip into envy.

since the beginning, EY has helped HJ (or at least tried to) without him knowing. sometimes it worked out, sometimes not. most times EY tried doing sth nice for HJ was (from EY's perspective) in return to HJ trying to help him or doing nice things for him (which, again, sometimes worked out, sometimes not). EY was just paying back a debt to "this stubborn naive guy who keeps getting into trouble and butting into his business. gotta look out for this idiot or he might get scammed." (<- eg. when EY offered to get HJ's money back from his uncle)

he doesn't do it for credit or friendship or out of obligation, he's just doing what he thinks is the right thing bc he doesn't want to owe anyone anything. he can't accept people just genuinely being kind, genuinely caring and genuinely wanting to help. but he's been learning and slowly coming to terms with it.

<- -> HJ first wanted to try befriending EY despite not liking him bc, well, the guy did steal his wallet and stab him in their first interaction. after trying and failing at it multiple times, thanksgiving happened, and HJ started thinking of EY as his underclassman bc he realized EY's just a kid with issues and he should keep an eye on him (discretely bc EY hates pity).

with time HJ has come to understand EY better by going after him whenever he ran off and slowly realized that EY does mean well and has his reasons (as fucked up as they might be sometimes). but his mentality abt EY is still "i gotta push him in the right direction cuz he's my underclassman and i unintentionally got attached to him (somehow??)" (also bc he knows EY already gave up on himself so he needs a lil help to find his way again. also also bc he knows EY is lowkey suicidal and he's scared it'll be his fault if sth happens) <- his care for EY comes from a protective/nurturing (/possibly maybe guilty) place which started when he realized EY was just a kid^^. in other words, HJ still bothers with EY out of a subconscious sense of responsibility/obligation in a way (a good way tho. or at least a way that gets better)

see, sth i struggle with is if HJ thinks he has to or wants to or thinks he should or can't just not help/care for EY. i can't exactly pinpoint where the sentiment is coming from. his face is too blank for me to read sometimes T_T

to summarize: HJ is EY's goal, what EY wishes he could've been. and EY is HJ's 'responsibility' so to speak (bc 'burden' doesn't quite fit since HJ is there for EY willingly) -> EY has a positive opinion of HJ while HJ has a neutral opinion of EY (which is also gradually getting better)

note1: i think HJ's intention (maybe subconsciously) was to be to EY what HJ's upperclassman was to him. aka someone who's there when you need it and can help guide you. it would explain why HJ kept chasing after EY despite not really having a reason to and EY repeatedly rejecting HJ's care/help.

note2: i also believe the 'upper-under-classman' relationship dynamic fits them the best atm bc it also matches the way the story often singles EY out as he's the only second year (aka younger) of the 6 MCs.

-> Romance in No Home?

another thing i should mention is that No Home rarely leaves things open for interpretation. the deepest arguments EY&HJ had were always spelled out for us, to make us understand exactly what the problem was, and how there isn't a good guy and a bad guy. it's just two people with issuesTM.

from what we've seen in the story up to this point, i couldn't pick out a moment where i'd go "here! that's romantic! that's the moment they realized SomeThing!" yk

when it comes to romance specifically, i feel like a handful of opportunities were missed. there are scenes which could've easily been written trough a rosy lens but simply weren't.

exhibit A:

HJ was speechless bc "wow this mf really is actively picking a fight with an authority figure. i gotta make sure things don't escalate" not bc "hoLY sHiT hE's PreTTy. all his fangirls are on to something". however, this only becomes more clear when you keep reading the next few chapters, so i understand how you could interpret it as the latter.

exhibit B:

here they got so close and the moment was so deep bc "woaa he said he believes me. no one's said to me that before!". unfortunately, EY was panicking too much for it to mean something bc of the guilt he felt for HJ trusting someone so undeserving of trust like EY.

exhibit C:

this is maybe the closest we got to romantic between these two. i think this might be the only (or at least first) ever deep interaction between them that didn't end in a fight or misunderstanding. is it meant to be romantic tho? -> ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-> what do i think?

first, full transparency: i went into reading this story fully expecting it to be a BL and for EY&HJ to end up together. but the more i kept on reading, the more i got the ick thinking about them being in a (romantic) relationship bc, at least from what we've seen so far in the story, their relationship would be so ToxicTM (which i personally don't enjoy reading).

as they are right now, i wouldn't want them to be together like that. like, honestly, you still can't really consider these two even friends; they just tolerate each other if the stars align correctly (altho, i'll admit, their relationship is gradually getting better!!). every big argument they had i thought "god, there's no coming back from that. i'd cut ties so quickly if was them wtf". i still don't know how they managed to keep on interacting, props to them ig.

there's a lot of unresolved issues between them. and a lot of resentment which would not bode well in a romantic relationship. the smallest argument would turn explosive and they'd be, at best, in an on&off type of relationship. they both have the power to break the other and neither would be afraid to use it. they have a lot of history together, which is not always pleasant, so if they ever were to go the romantic route, it would have to be a long way to go.

technically, i could see them in a romantic relationship if they both went to therapy first and talked out all the baggage they're carrying (both individual and shared). realistically tho, what i think will happen at the end of No Home is that either they never cross paths again after high school ends (which would absolutely break my heart Wanan pls don't), or they somehow (unintentionally) end up living together bc they both desperately needed a roommate to pay rent (which would be a hilarious fucking gag LMAO). just, HJ going to uni/work and EY doing his own thing (prolly an actor) while still cohabiting together; hanging out to watch a movie before bed <- (whether platonic or romantic being left up for interpretation)

<- -> in conclusion, from what we've seen up to this point, their relationship is mainly upper-under-classman; reluctant (maybe) friends who tolerate each other but also care (too) deeply. they've changed each other, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. in some ways they're compatible and in others they're not.

all this being said, their relationship is improving and romance between EY&HJ is not impossible, just rather unlikely imo. but, again, interpretation is subjective and u're welcome to read their relationship however you want.

#ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE IF YOU ARE DELULU ENOUGH!! THAT'S HOW SHIPPING WORKS IN GENERAL. IN EVERY FANDOM.#anon. this shit fried my head. it 3.30am and my brain is not braining anymore. i love analyzing these two but goddamn is it HARD.#THERE'S SO MUCH NUANCE TO EVERY INTERACTION THEY HAVE *cry*#life's been hectic and this question demanded i sit down in 7 different sittings to get everything written down. hence why it took me a bit #i tried to write down all my thoughts and i don't think i managed. but i hope what i have here makes sense.#and i also hope i actually answered ur question. i feel like i got side-tracked and possibly missed the target.#no home #no home manhwa #eunyung baek #haejoon goh #ey hj parallels #meta #집이 없어 #webtoon #god u guys have no idea how many times while reading i was like 'omg they're gonna kiss omg pls do'#only to keep reading and going like 'hoLY FUCK PLS DO *NOT*!! get away from him omfg!!'#the whiplash was fucking unreal. i remember honest to god SOBBING at 4am every time they fought <- that first time read was rough #also! if you agree/disagree/want to correct me or just talk about the topic i'm open to discussion/criticism. (just pls be nice abt it ><)#my ask box is open <3

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tearlessrain · 1 month

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seriously can catastrophes stop happening for five minutes my brain is already fried from the ones we're already experiencing

#I fucking. missed d&d tonight by accident #I straight up forgot #and just didn't show up to the session #my sleep schedule is absolutely fucked #I should be sleeping now but brain won't shut up #my creative output is the lowest it's ever been and I've been in some level of depressive funk since like early january #I am just deeply unfathomably exhausted #like mentally and spiritually #all the time #my memory and sense of time are both shit #my spelling is worse than it used to be for some reason??#I really don't know what to do to make my brain start functioning again it's frankly worrying me #I couldn't even handle college so it should come as no surprise that I'm reacting poorly to the world being a perpetual screaming trash fir #and yet #idk it's been hitting again lately that I have never succeeded at anything in my life and just keep tripping and falling up for some reason #fucking everyone is in hell right now and with my overall success rate I should be dead in a ditch but I'm actually doing spectacularly #due to a series of improbable accidents and weird circumstances that happened to turn out in my favor instead of completely fucking me #aside from the looming spectre of my various failed attempts to have some kind of life trajectory #it just doesn't feel like this can keep up forever #like surely at some point the luck has got to run out I can't just keep living like some kind of folkloric trickster archetype #but my motivation and sense of purpose kind of died after the last failed attempt so I'm still just here #doing whatever this is #maybe I should drive out to the coast #maybe staring at the ocean would fix me I've been away from it for too long #I mean it can't make me worse #I should wait until further into summer though so I don't have to drive back in the dark #everyone around here has trucks with those goddamn LED headlights and I've got a little sedan that's directly in their blast zone

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navree · 2 months

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unfortunately the percy jackson show means percy jackson discourse which means i once more have to see dogshit takes about rachel elizabeth dare, who did literally nothing except have a relationship with a boy she liked for a couple months, but the freaks are at it again because there's no worse crime in the world than being a girl getting in the way of a ship for a nanosecond

#personal #if i am not defending rachel elizabeth dare from freaks it's because i'm dead #'a greedy and ungenerous soul' she was fifteen???? calm down????#why are you at your big age talking like that about a literal child??????#like sorry that annabeth was incapable of opening her mouth about her crush and someone else happened to be more verbose #that ain't rachel's fault #if annabeth didn't want percy dating she should have communicated better that's not anyone else's problem #rachel and percy liked each other so they went out and then they ended the relationship like that's so normal #and from a doylist perspective it's painfully obvious rachel was there as a lil bump in the road before percy and annabeth got together #so why are you getting bent out of shape about it she was never a threat #and if you shouldn't be pissy about it now anyway when they've been together for like multiple series at this point #and are gonna get together in the show too #like goddamn i'm two steps away from going full percabeth anti just because people can't be normal about rachel for some reason #and i LIKE percabeth #honestly i don't know why twitter feels the need to show me fandom takes they're never good no matter which fandom it is

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capelizabeth · 1 month

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taylor’s worst sin MUSICALLY is putting the best songs on the deluxe edition because from the bottom of my heart what the FUCK was that???????

#taylor swift #the tortured poets department #jack antonoff when i catch you jack antonoff #get AWAY from her #they’re not doing anything interesting together anymore #like i was listening to the regular version and it was like this is goddamn elevator music #like god this might be worse than midnights even #the only songs that stuck out to me were loml and the smallest man who ever lived #i can do it with a broken heart was pretty fun and i did like the florence feature #but daddy i love him is quite literally one of her worst songs ever i’m so serious #not just bc it’s about ratty healy it’s so bad #i was giving the album maybe a 6.5/10 then i got to the 2am tracks #with loml and tsmwel rating a lot higher but still #but god aaron CARRIED these 2am tracks #the theme is still there but it’s like a completely different album it’s so much better #why is it like this????#who’s idea was this????#bc the main album kinda sucks #jack antonoff ur dead to me #i need relisten and get some sleep before i have a ranking #bc rn i do think the 3am tracks did fall off a get a little dreary towards the end #anyway it’s 3am i need to go to bed #ellie chats

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lobotomyladylives · 27 days

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literally wanna dieeeee I realized belatedly that not only was down bad written for me due to being an alien abduction metaphor song but it perfectly describes my situation w/my ex who dumped me 3 days into our second vacation in his country

#but yknow thats what i get for dating a fucking man last year when i absolutely knew better. i was in a low place & the idea of being #whisked away from europe was an escape for me . we got along really well but the second i showed any emotional weakness he couldnt handle i #oh but he sent a bunch of messages begging me to come back when i was on the plane fleeing to my sisters london flat! lol!!!#i didnt tell you guys about any of this on my old blog when it was happening bc i just knew itd invite a flood of #''why were you even dating a man'' messages. yeah im aware. it was stupid & yet another result of my inability to purge myself of the #desire to be in a relationship my homophobic father wouldnt hate me for. and i didnt think any woman would want me . im over it now #fuck my abusive father fuck men in general im so over the internalized homophobia. ive always preferred women why should i have to #supress that to make my fuckface hypocrite father happy. i only rly care bc i love my half brother & want to be in his life which means #i have to appease dad. but at what goddamn cost #why did i say from europe in that earlier tag. i meant TO europe...im from the us #anyways. what a shit show situation that was. i have never felt so betrayed by anyone except for my dad himself #oh i didnt even mention the worst part yet. when i texted from london asking if our friendship was over too (god. so cringe) he then went #into this spiel about how actually what he said earlier when he was asking me to come back #(that it had been a stupid impulse & biggest mistake of his life) was a lie & it had been a long time coming #IF IT WAS A LONG TIME COMING WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME FLY ACROSS THR ATLANTIC FUCKING OCEAN 3 DAYS AGO FOR YOU #and said hed tell me the reasons but ''didnt want to hurt me''#i have so much hatred in my heart for this man to this day when i really think about the mind games he was playing. unreal.#and he KNEW i already had massive trust issues

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eosofspades · 1 year

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so i'm seeing some ideas going around that this (horrifying) scene from the trailer -

- isn't our Ghost, but a Ghost, and i wanna talk about it.

i do think this is our (the player's) Ghost, for a couple of reasons! for starters, there's the obvious - the classic shell they use for The Guardian's Ghost in trailers, the Guardian being a Titan (also what Bungie tends to depict The Guardian as in trailers), the fact that in a trailer of this significance, it seems really unlikely that they'd be showing us something as intense as this with an unknown/unnamed character, etc.

but more importantly, a lot of people seem to be thinking that this Ghost and Guardian are... actually getting sliced up, which i don't think they are.

bear with me for a bit! while that's absolutely what looks like what is happening, i'm at least 80% certain this scene is going to be the Witness giving the Guardian a terrible vision/hallucination (similar to what happened in Shadowkeep where we encountered the Dark Guardian in the Black Garden.) and there are another couple of reasons for this!

(the rest under a read more - this one really got away from me.)

for one thing - purely from a technical standpoint - the Young Wolf and their Ghost just... straight-up can't die; at least not permanently, at least not yet. they're the player character; you're going to need them to actually continue playing the game.

(i've also seen people suggesting this can't be our Ghost from a technical standpoint because that would mean Bungie having to do the slicing animation for every single Ghost shell in the game, which, to be fair, is a completely valid assumption to make - but in my opinion, based on the sheer volume of detail within this game's scenery and animation, and the unbelievable attention to the smallest possible details that most players won't even notice - i would absolutely not put it past Bungie to put in that effort, and, moreover, i have another idea that goes hand-in-hand with the "this is a vision" thing; that they didn't have to animate every single shell - but i'll get to that in a bit.)

now, from an in-game perspective, it doesn't make sense to me to have this not be our Ghost, or to have it not be a vision. for one thing - if what the Witness is doing is actually slicing up all of these Ghosts and Guardians and ships, that's just… a little bit nonsense. yes, the Witness is unbelievably powerful and terrifyingly dangerous, but if it is actually capable of unmaking living, paracausal things with a single flick of its finger, that seems… unlikely in terms of power, at most, because if that’s the case there truly is no fight to be had. the Witness could obliterate the Guardian before we even had a chance to draw our gun. it just seems unrealistic that if the Witness was that overtly powerful, there could even be a compelling battle against it.

(it’s also worth mentioning that the Witness’ entire thing is visuals and appearances over actual physical confrontation. it doesn’t even appear in the flesh to Calus at all times - in fact, the trailer makes a point of showing that it speaks to him through a cracked mirror, and in the final Seraph cutscene that it appears to Eramis via a screen; there’s the fact that the Darkness is constantly waving around this motif of visuals and appearances (the Dark Guardian vision during Shadowkeep; Deepsight; the Nightmares on the Moon, etc.) and even that it’s name is the Witness - you get it.)

there’s also the matter of emotional impact. like, don’t get me wrong, this is fucking horrifying. actual, full-body dread and fear at this scene when i first saw it. but you cannot tell me you would be just as distressed and unsettled if it were a random Ghost paired with a random Guardian we’ve never seen before - our Ghost has been getting so much character insight and development in the last two DLCs (his fear -> reluctance -> hesitant acception of the Guardian using Stasis, his complicated feelings regarding his faith in the Traveler explored during Witch Queen or his hostility -> understanding towards Fynch, etc.), i can’t imagine Bungie is going to give us this close-up, visceral, nightmarish scene with a Ghost we don’t know and have no attachment to.

(also, i made a post about this already, but in this trailer alone i am seeing SO MANY parallels to The Red War campaign - the fact that the Ghost and Guardian are in the exact same position as we were during the Red War intro is not lost on me. this also ties back into my “only animating one Ghost shell” thing - if it is a vision, i think it’s possible that the reason the Titan in the trailer is in “older”-looking armor is because you’re seeing yourself and Ghost in what could be a potential callback to the Red War - hence having Ghost be in the Last City shell, and the Guardian in “older” armor; because what’s happening here is not what is real; it’s supposed to be the Witness getting into your head. (or, again, maybe the Titan is just in that armor for the trailer and Bungie did animate the Ghost shells! at the very least, i doubt that having a non-player’s Ghost be in the Last City shell is probably not going to happen, since that’s the shell we tend to associate with our Ghost.))

what i think is actually happening here is one of two things: either the Witness giving the Guardian a horrifying “vision” in order to scare us/make us understand why it believes the Traveler heralds death and needs to be eliminated (i’m going to shamelessly plug in my obsession with Unveiling once again, but the Winnower explicitly explains to us at least couple of times that it believes existence is full of suffering and many things would be better off not existing at all to spare ourselves the torment. i can absolutely see the Witness trying to intimidate/terrorize us with a vision like this in order to get across its point that the Traveler will allow us to suffer and writhe and never be able to escape it.)

the other guess i have, which is unlikely but still something i think would be very very neat, is that - with the Witness’ whole shattered glass motif and the way its hands move, like it’s altering reality as it exists - it would be incredibly interesting if the Witness were actually “dismantling” us, so to speak - even if just for a moment, maybe before summoning us to the final confrontation of the campaign, just as a sheer power move. so when the Guardian gets there, they’re afraid and disoriented and unable to focus (this is, again, incredibly unlikely, probably, but i really really want to see some threats from enemies on an incredibly personal level. i have been dying for an enemy to get to us in an uncomfortably up-close and personal manner, or at least for the Guardian to have actual reactions to things. i would love to see another callback to the Red War, maybe, with the Guardian and Ghost collapsed and the Witness towering over them.)

obligatory disclaimer that i could always be wrong, of course, and if it turns out to be a random Ghost and Guardian getting ACTUALLY sliced up i’ll admit it and eat my words, but with what we’ve seen at this point in time, it really doesn’t make sense to me that it would be anything other than a vision being experienced by the player Guardian and our Ghost.

#HELLO THIS GOT AWAY FROM ME #this is over 1k words and 2 pages long and its three in the goddamn morning #im so normal. i am sososo normal about this game and i have proportionate reactions to stuff #destiny 2 #mine #lightfall #lightfall spoilers #eos destiny essays

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queenerdloser · 4 months

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i've been trying to schedule a time to take my driver's test for literal months because i shit you not there have been literally zero appointments at any of the five (5) dmvs within 20m of me that offer the driving test. so i scheduled one at a place that's a literal hour drive bc i was like. well at least i have it on the books and if i have to drive an hour out there to do it so be it! but i've been regularly checking the website at odd times (as suggested by multiple people) for any cancellations.

and lo and behold! i just checked it (literally 2m ago) and there was an 8a open slot at a place 10m from where i live. i had to think about it for maybe about 30s or so (checking the map to make sure it actually is close to me, considering if anyone i know with a car would be available to take me over there to take the test at 8 fucking am in the morning) and by the time i convinced myself i might as well just do it the fucking appointment had already been snatched by someone else.

i get that dmvs are probably just as understaffed as anywhere else. but this is fucking untenable to me. like. how are you so understaffed that i have not been able to schedule this appointment for literal months (i have been regularly checking! since last fucking october!) at any of the places that are within a normal distance to where i live? why on earth are dmvs in fucking st. cloud somehow more available despite the fact that they only have one vs the like five within the twin cities limits? why are you not opening more slots/hiring more driving instructors to ensure that there is plenty of availability for this apparently so essential service that you are constantly booked up for it??? most importantly why is there not!!! a fucking dmv!!! that offers a driving test!!! actually in one of the twin cities? why are they only in the suburbs? i am chewing off my own arm, this whole process is incredibly frustrating and i can't believe i caught a lucky break for the first time in five months and lost it because i hesitated for less than one minute.

#liveblogging life #when i tell you i screamed i am Not Joking #next time im not fucking hesitating i'll take whatever slot theyve got even if it's for the next fucking day #i have a booking in fucking rochester but a) it's like an hour+ away #PLUS the only person who doesnt have anything happening during dmv hours is my dad who lives an hour away from me AND from rochester #which means he has to drive an hour to pick me up and then we both have to drive an hour to get to this appt #which means this turns from a 20m appointment to a full fucking day affair for NO! GODDAMNED! REASON!#other than for some reason the fucking five different dmvs within 20 miles of me just cant seem to keep an appt slot open to save their lif #i get that the reason we dont have driving test dmvs in downtown mpls is bc the streets suck lol #but like. you serve a city of A LOT of people so you should maybe have more than THREE within the suburbs #and two more within 20m of the city #like maybe. you should have a few more than that. if youre that seriously overbooked #told by multiple people the only way i can get an appt is if i check in the middle of the night #how is that acceptable? jesus christ. JESUS CHRIST! im so annoyed right now.

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nero-neptune · 3 months

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the weird doubling-down going on with the ceo is Beyond embarrassing (also, he's insane, a death wish =/= a death threat. what is this, twitter?)

tho, there's this weird false equivalency(?) that keeps coming up in response, basically "what are doing about the terf and nazi blogs?", as if they both recieve an equal amount of concern (they don't). terf blogs get permabanned all the time (go on any terf blocklist, even new ones, and a lot of those names are gonna lead you to killed dead blogs). they typically have smaller followings (and largely follow each other), so it's not gonna become trending news when permabans happen, but they very much do happen.

it's the blatantly racist nazi and outright white supremacist blogs that face little to zero consequences, flying under the block/report radar, posting the most disturbing shit i've seen in my life, followed by memes. fair enough, there's no real action taken by staff (from what i can tell), but there's absolutely no coordinated effort made by the userbase to drive them away either (too alienating?). there's nothing like shinigami eyes for nazis/white supremacists/fascists/what-have-you. it isn't Nearly as common for blog headers to tell nazis to stay away, or for users to compile/update fascist blocklists, or warn others that they reblogged from a white supremacist. it's nbd, somehow. i've reported Tons of blogs for overt hate speech and damn near nothing happens to those 1488ers. it straight up isn't a priority, not for staff and not for a substantial chunk of this userbase. there's this clear discrepancy (to me) which allows nazis to thrive and their posts to "break containment". so long as you're "funny" ig.

i didn't realize this was gonna start one way and end with me ranting about nazis and racism on tumblr dot com. but Christ, it's been bothering me for Years. can we try taking action against the racism problem now? or am i asking too much on the "we can excuse racism" website?

#this could also be due to how many popular tumblr blogs are lowkey (even highkey) racist already #and they're not gonna go after their own friends like Oh No we can't have That!#this site's userbase is generally cool with platforming racists. so why would white supremacists be seen as a problem?#idk nearly enough about why this person got permabanned tho. but everything ive seen makes matt look like a goddamn idiot #anyway GOD this drives me insane #i'm not trying to start anything with this post. it admittedly got away from me. but the way this website approaches certain topics-#it just feels weird #rambles

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