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crowleys-ducks · 7 months

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No you don't understand, if Aziraphale or Crowley actually die in s3, even for like five seconds, do you have any idea what that could mean? Consider, the Almighty actually listening for once, hearing the pleas of whoever remained alive and doing something about it. Like vavoom, resurrection bitches.

But not just any resurrection.

Imagine, God taking a little piece of Crowley/Aziraphale and giving it to whichever one died so that they are BOTH BOUND TOGETHER FOR ETERNITY. IT'S SOMETHING SO INTIMATE AND IT'S NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE! Or, you could say, it's like Eve being formed from Adam except that this time there's no ribs involved but wings. Yes, wings.

Aziraphale and Crowley would now have one of the other's wings as a visual reminder of their special union. One white wing, one black wing. They aren't demons, they aren't angels, they're something unspeakable. Something absolutely INEFFABLE!! And God uses this to teach Her creation about what it means to love one another.

God: Stop fighting. Don't destroy the world. I never okay'd that blueprint!! Love each other or else. Bye!

And She fucks off for another 6000 years or so. Meanwhile Aziraphale and Crowley are like did the Almighty just marry us WHAT HAPPENED.

Yes. Yes she did. She's the biggest AziraCrow shipper.

So all things must continue as they were (except for The Metatron running heaven, he's been thrown in celestial jail) only now things are better. Heaven isn't a bad place anymore, and Hell becomes liveable and they get Wifi (finally).

What does any of this mean? Not sure. God's plan is ineffable after all. You can't know it. Even I don't know what I'm talking about. Please don't take this seriously I haven't had my morning coffee.

#This special life saving wing exchange has been on my mind for WEEKS #Like how awesome would that be?#Good omens season 3 #Good omens theory #Good omens crack #good omens shitpost #aziraphale x crowley #good omens god

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cobragardens · 7 months

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God Is a Creepy-Ass Meta Mfer:

A Good Omens Essay

This essay features fan theory and speculation. DO NOT TAG NEIL GAIMAN IN ANY POST THAT INCLUDES OR REFERENCES THIS ONE.

The rest of this depends on accepting the premise that God's Plan is not always inscrutable in hindsight, i.e., that parts of that Plan can be discerned or identified as such once they have happened, even if the next moves of the Plan and its ultimate Purpose remain ineffable.

If you are willing to accept that premise, then I suggest we can conclude with reasonable certainty that Thesis Statement 1: Aziraphale's act of giving Adam the First Man the flaming sword is part of God's Plan, and so was Eve and Adam eating the Fruit.

The argument for the latter has been in circulation making even the beardiest of old Christian men scratch their heads for centuries, and in Good Omens, Crowley is the first being ever to make it:

The presence of the Tree in the Garden placed by an omnipotent being with literally infinite orchard space and security technology is a clear indication that God intends humans to interact with the Tree and sets humans up in a divine entrapment operation, giving God the opportunity to curse humanity and evict them from the Garden.

Diversion onto Thesis Statement 2 bc the Essayist Got Distracted: This establishes both the Bible and Good Omens as works of literature in the cosmic horror genre (not that Good Omens doesn't do plenty of its own work in so establishing itself).

In both these stories God is a being beyond humanity's understanding, functionally omniscient and omnipotent, who first creates and then interferes with humanity for unknown reasons and who does not necessarily have humanity's best interests in mind at any point. His/er reasoning and objectives for humanity are opaque, and S/he manipulates circumstances to create excuses to do humanity as a species and sometimes specific humans harm.

If you're not already familiar, go read all the shit God curses humans with when Eve and Adam snack on the Tree's Fruit. It's frighteningly cruel, if not outright psychopathic. So is God's behavior the Book of Job, His demand that Abraham sacrifice Isaac, Mosaic Law, and the sacrifice of His/er Son. Human lives are no more significant to God than the lives of ants are to humans. This whole history of Earth? It may not even be about us. Our entire species' history may just be part of the backdrop to something else, like two angels falling in love and reuniting Heaven and Hell, or like raccoons. It could all be about the raccoons. Who knows! All of this is absolutely 100% pure undiluted cosmic horror.

Right, okay, so back to Thesis 1: In Good Omens, Aziraphale's gift to the first man of the flaming sword is an objective God wants. Here's my chain of reasoning:

The Eating of the Fruit and God's punishment were both objectives of God. See above.

2. Once those objectives had been accomplished, humankind would not have survived outside the Garden of Eden without the sword. They literally would not exist at all.

Adam the First has to kill the lion, either to keep it from killing him and Eve or to keep him and Eve from starving. No flaming sword = no humanity.

3. We know "no humanity" is not God's Plan, because--

--God says her Plan is Armageddon and the Second Coming in 6,000 years. So humanity needs to exist for either of those to occur (or for there to be any reason for adventures about averting them to occur). And God does a whole Crucifixion and Resurrection of His/er Son. So God wants humanity around and is even prepared to welcome them back into His/er grace, providing they meet certain conditions.

4. We know God is not displeased about Aziraphale's gift of the sword to humans because God asks Aziraphale about the sword, and Aziraphale lies and says he's lost it, and God, who is omniscient and therefore knows this to be a lie and knows exactly where the sword is, lets the entire thing pass unremarked. (More on this anon.)

5. It is not a reach too far to suspect this of God. She tells us Herself that she is a trickster and that we can't trust her not to deceive us:

She also tells us

i. The universe is a game she is playing for her own amusement:

🎵cosmic horror alerrrrrrrrrt!🎵🎶

ii. No one, including angels and demons, has been told the real rules of this game:

"FOR EVERYONE ELSE." Not just humans.

That's why Crowley and Aziraphale each have to wonder if they've done the right or the wrong thing: nobody's told them what the rules are. Aziraphale even thinks that Crowley's temptation of Eve is "all part of the Plan," i.e, that Crowley did the right thing by doing the wrong one. They have no way to tell, and it may be both right and wrong at the same time. (Wrestling with impossible moral conundra raised by a brief look into a story happening on a much greater level than your own? You could be suffering from our old pal Thesis 2: Good Omens is cosmic horror!)

So Aziraphale's Promethean gift to humanity was one of God's objectives, just as cursing humans and yeeting them out of the Garden with the knowledge of Good and Evil and maybe a couple apple seeds in hand was His/er objective.

BONUS! Thesis 3: So why does God bring up Aziraphale's misappropriation of the sword at all? To show us, the audience, that Aziraphale lied to Her and that his gifting of the sword to Adam is part of Her Plan.

Remember from her whole deal with the Tree: God likes to set up situations so that She can react to them. Here she lampshades her awareness of what Aziraphale has done, listens to him lie to Her about it, and then very pointedly does nothing in response to that. She wants everyone watching--i.e., Aziraphale and us--to note that she has noticed the transfer of the sword and is not displeased by it and has noticed the lie and is not going to do anything about that either.

Remember as well, God is the one controlling the narrative we see in S1 of Good Omens. She introduces and concludes the story, and she narrates the scenes of the baby-swap. She's in control of which scenes we see and the order in which we see them. Since she is the one who asked Aziraphale the question about the sword, she's also responsible for this scene's existence.

So why do I think this scene is meant for us and not Aziraphale? Two reasons. Firstly, the conversation with God doesn't do Aziraphale any good. He worries about eventually getting in trouble about the sword until 2019, around 6,000 years later.

God is both omniscient and omnipotent, so it's not possible that She failed to communicate to Aziraphale in such a way that would ease his anxiety. Therefore the conversation was not for his benefit. Again, she's omniscient, so it wasn't for Her benefit either. That leaves the only other party to this conversation: us. The audience.

The next obvious question is, Why does God want us to know that Aziraphale's gift of the flaming sword was both of his free will and part of Her Plan?

I don't know. But I think it may become important, and here is where we delve into hypothesis territory: I think Good Omens is going metafictional. I mean this in a Doki Doki Literature Club, Black Mirror: Bandersnatch way: God, the character in Good Omens, is telling us, the audience, a story.

This metafictional aspect has been with us the whole time---more precisely since 01:13 of S1E1, when God switches from third-person to first-person and addresses us the viewers directly:

And there are several more metafictional; notes in S1 and S2 that I've found so far:

Season 1

That giant eyeball up there floating in space with a bunch of arcane shit around it is a reference to the opening credits sequence of The Twilight Zone, a metafictional show in which an omniscient narrator introduces and concludes each story by addressing the audience directly.

S1E1 27:20

Season 2

1. Maggie and Nina are fictional characters, but the characters share their names with actors Maggie Service and Nina Sosanya.

2. The final credits sequence, with the split screen showing Crowley on one side and Aziraphale on the other, references David Tennant and Michael Sheen's previous/simultaneous lockdown tv series project, Staged! which is intensely metafictional and in which Tennant and Sheen play characters based on themselves and with their names.

3. Sloppy plot synopsis or something more sinister?

4. An interviewer points out that Good Omens references Doctor Who as an extant concern in-universe, which obviously stars David Tennant in the past and currently.

If you find more, please drop them in the comments!

We the audience, are meant to understand ourselves and our reality as being indirectly involved in this story. And God wants us to know 1) that Aziraphale lied to Her about giving away the sword, knowing it was futile, and 2) that his gift of the flaming sword was part of Her Plan. The former is a major character note, and probably a foreshadowing one; but I have no guesses about God's purpose in showing us that the gift of the flaming sword was also to Plan except that whatever it is will probably make me dislike Her approach to parenting even more than I already do.

What I do love about this though is that it suggests that Crowley and Aziraphale both did the right thing by doing the wrong one, i.e. achieved a kind of Schroedinger's obedience, which is nice and disturbing and surprise! pretty cosmic horror. More sweetly, though, it suggests that the two foundational gifts to humanity from the divine were motivated by Crowley's low-effort mischief and Aziraphale's kindheartedness, which is lovely to think about.

DO NOT TAG NEIL GAIMAN IN ANY POST THAT INCLUDES OR REFERENCES THIS ESSAY.

#good omens #good omens s2 #good omens god #good omens metafiction #good omens cosmic horror #good omens flaming sword

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ineffectualdemon · 9 months

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God: I am all knowing and all powerful. No one can lie to me or question my authority

Aziraphale:

God: of course I didn't mean you! Who's my precious boy!

#good omens incorrect quotes #good omens #aziraphale #good omens god

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thesillydoll · 9 months

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GOOD OMENS 2, THEORY #5.

Ms. Cheng is God.

No comments.

#go2 spoilers #go2 theory #aziraphale #neil gaiman #good omens 2 #david tennant #ineffable husbands #good omens #terry pratchett #crowley #goodomens #buenospresagios #good omens god #ms cheng good omens

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ghosted-draws · 5 months

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Aziraphale is legitimately a fascinating character to me, especially considering how the narrative deals with his fear specifically.

Think about it. Six THOUSAND years. That is an UNFATHOMABLY long time. We cannot even begin to conceive of it as humans. And he has been looking over his shoulder (as has Crowley), because at any moment someone could walk up to him, decide he isn’t good enough, and permanently take him away from his home. This goes as I said for both, because they can’t get new bodies on their own. If they’re taken out, living as they were becomes pretty much impossible, which is horrifying.

But Aziraphale specifically I find really interesting because of his situation. Consider this. You are presented with your creator. The person who designed you down to your very molecules, and they tell you the meaning of life. And they tell you you were created to be good. And you watch as all these people, created same as you, fail, and are taken and burned and warped into monsters and you are told they are evil.

And then you meet one of them. And he is kind, and he helps, even better then Heaven can, sometimes. And that is terrifying, because you are told he is evil. So either they, those that created you and everything you have always been meant to do, are wrong, or you cannot yet see how evil he is. And both terrify you. So you spend years waiting for the trap to spring, and it never does, and that can’t be right because he is no longer supposed to be good, he is fallen, and none of that makes any SENSE.

Throughout Good Omens, we see even how Crowley identifies with the role Hell has assigned him (“I’m not NICE.”) but Aziraphale is in a totally different position. Because Crowley has already fallen, he can avoid Hell. And Hell, like Aziraphale learns Heaven is, is fallible. But unlike Crowley, Aziraphale is still an Angel. Aziraphale can still Fall.

And no matter how fallible Heaven is, God is all knowing. He has to live with the fact that God is watching, all the time, and judging his actions. And if She sees them, and decides he has indulged too much, that his love of a demon is wrong, that he is no longer good, he will Fall. And he has spent thousands of years shaping his identity around the word “Angel”. If he falls, he will no longer get to be nice, and kind, and himself, and he is terrified.

Aziraphale is so black and white about things because he is so terrified of what grey means. Because if grey exists the way he thinks it might, then his whole existence for thousands of years might have been wrong. And that is fascinating to me.

#good omens #good omens season 2 #go #go2 #good omens aziraphale #good omens crowley #crowley good omens #aziraphale #aziraphale good omens #anthony j crowley #good omens heaven #good omens god #too many thoughts about this angel #this man has on and off and no other settings factory got stuck

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smua70 · 6 months

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Anyone stop to think how much both Aziraphale and Crowley (a.k.a Bildad the Shuite) are risking to save Job's three children in the "A Companion to Owls" minisode? It's not just Aziraphale lying to the other angels; Crowley stops Sitis from cursing God, which means he ruins Satan's chance to win the bet. Of course, if Satan did win, then Crowley wouldn't be able to give Job and Sitis their children back. (Maybe Crowley would have kept the oldest two as lizards and adopted Jemimah.) Maybe there's a reason Aziraphale and Crowley didn't see each other again until the Flood (ETA: this should be the Crucifixion) (i.e., maybe Edinburgh isn't the first time Crowley gets punished by Hell for doing something good.)

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #bildad the shuhite #bildaddy #a companion to owls #job's children #good omens god #good omens satan

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ineffablyruined · 6 months

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Of Poker, Blank Cards, and Smiling Dealers

Let's talk God's Game for a minute.

God is playing complex poker in a dark room with blank cards and a Dealer who keeps smiling. But let's be real. It's God. Is She playing or is She actually the Dealer? I think it's both.

God's true purpose is the Dealer, shuffling the cards, handing out winning and losing hands. That's right up God's alley.

But, She's also playing for humanity because who else could? Humans are Hers, after all.

And this is where it gets interesting. Because, there are other Players. But who are they? My guess:

1. Heaven (Player: The Metatron)

2. Hell (Player: Satan)

3. Humanity (Player: God)

And God is playing AND dealing. And the Dealer has to deal, has to give a playable hand, otherwise there's no game. It doesn't have to be the winning hand, but each player needs cards regardless. But, God created the cards, and She knows every card that is going to be drawn into each Player's hand.

My theory is God's Stacking the Deck in favor of humanity, in favor of her little pet project that She's created to keep Herself entertained.

Now, let's talk the Blank Cards.

The cards themselves are every other being in this Ineffable game. Each angel, demon, and human is a card in Heaven's, Hell's, or Humanity's hand. The Four Horsemen? Hell's. Michael? Probably Heaven's from what we've seen so far. Anathema Device? Humanity, definitely. Saraqael? Muriel? I don't think we've seen, but I've got some ideas.

But, why blank? Well, how else do we account for free will? The cards are blank because that's the fun part of the game. The complex part. Just because you've got the card, doesn't mean you know how it will be played, what choices it will make. What other cards it will come into contact with.

Except, if you created the cards, then maybe you have an edge. A tiny edge over the other players. Just enough to stack the deck in your favor.

And this is where Crowley & Aziraphale come in. They're Her trump cards (if you'll allow me to mix card game metaphors for a minute - it is, after all, complex poker).

She created them. She knows them. She can't control them, but She can make predictions about what they will do. And She knows that they are a group of the two of them, that if She puts them together on that tiny little planet, they will do everything they can to protect it together, because that's how She created them.

So yes, they get to make their own choices. Crowley can help save a gravedigger's life and get taken off the table by Hell for a bit because of it. Aziraphale can choose to go back to Heaven as Supreme Archangel and get removed from the table by Heaven for now

But, when push comes to shove, both of those cards are squarely in Humanity's hand, just as God dealt. They are there together. And once they both come back onto the table, Humanity can't do anything other than come out on top.

And if my hand had those two, I'd be smiling, too.

#good omens #good omens meta #goodomensmeta #good omens god #good omens poker #go god #aziraphale #crowley #crowley x aziraphale #aziraphale x crowley #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #ineffable spouses #go crowley #go aziraphale #stack the deck #God's Game

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