#great now i am yearning

[moonchild-in-blue]

What if the sky and the stars are for show And the aliens are watching live From the purple matter? Sensei went quiet then violent We sparred until we both grew tired Nothing mattered Cotton candy, Majin Buu, oh, oh, oh, oh Dim the lights and fall into you, you, you, ooh My God, giving me pleasure Pleasure, pleasure, pleasure Pleasure over matter

#great now i am yearning #soft and tender on a saturday evening #frankie honey pls stop breaking my heart. he is one of the artists i really wish i had friends to talk about with #cus yeeesh. he's amazing (we're ignoring that coachella fiasco) #frank my love. release new music babe. please i am starving #frank ocean #darya's mixtape #Spotify

[sciderman]

You said that if you dated Peter or Wade it would make you miserable. Which– Okay fair, Wade does have a history of purposely hurting the people he loves.

But what about Peter? Why do you think dating him would make you miserable?

because I’ll always know I had the option to climb a 6’8 cyborg and I passed that up for a sweaty little twunk that I perpetually have to remind to bathe (sorry peter)

#I don’t know. I don’t think peter is good boyfriend material. I think his insecurities would get exhausting. #Wade has bottomless patience. me… I don’t know. I don’t think I could. I’ve got my own stuff going on. I don’t want a Project. #peter is definitely a project. and he needs someone with shed loads of patience and perseverance. #me I just. I wanna have a good time. so. come to me my big beautiful time traveller. whisk me away. #take me to the beach. you can disappear after I don’t mind I’m not needy. just spend a beautiful romantic week with me. #sci speaks #I don’t really know what kind of person I’m compatible with really actually. #all my relationships have been. pretty short. #and I don’t think it’s any fault of my own really. and I don’t feel any loss over them at all. like at all. I wish I did. but I don’t. #a sci has so very thankfully never felt heartbreak. #but it makes me kind of question what kind of person I am when it comes to this sort of thing. #because I really don’t know. #I don’t know if I want commitment. I don’t even know if I want sex these days. #I … weirdly… am so devoid of yearning these days. like I feel content right now on my own. I don’t even feel lonely. #I used to yearn but I think I’ve moved past it. and I kind of just want to have a good time. #and that doesn’t even . involve a relationship or anything anymore. like I don’t think I want one actually. it feels like I’m Over it. #it’s kind of great because I’ve never felt so calm in a long time. all because I decided that I don’t. actually Need anything. #I don’t need anything more than what I have. and that’s brought me rest after So Long being restless. #but if a massive time traveller came and whisked me away on sexy adventures how could I say no

[notsoevilmagistrate]

Nick drives me fucking crazy because the first chapter was literally just “Gatsby’s not like other girls :(“ STOP SUCKING HIS DICK HES IN LOVE WITH YOUR COUSIN!!!! HES DOWN SO BAD ITS PATHETIC!!! Nick stop being a funky gay dude challenge IMPOSSIBLE.

#he’s weird and always lost tho so I mean kinda real #but me writing this gay book about a man and publishing my yearning out into the world? #couldn’t be me #anyway back to your regularly scheduled tags #the great gatsby #tgg #nick carraway #the great gatsby nick #jay gatsby #daisy buchanan #??? #idk if she counts but she can be here #natsby #natsby’s great but consider…one sided natsby #HA who am I kidding that’s practically canon L #(I’m gonna sit in a corner and cry now thinking about how Nick went to Jay’s funeral and not Daisy #and soak all my tears out like a sponge before letting them all out again) #:3

[tanzdoesthings]

having an assignment where the whole topic is “is it worth it to suffer for art” is really making me think.

#tanz talks #it’s weird. i don’t believe suffering to achieve a nebulous greatness is good. #but i actively do it anyways. i sit here and i yearn to create and get recognition #as my hands ache and i lose sleep just to try and take time back #the process of creation has a cost. and it’s very small. but it adds up. #i am pulled apart by school and then work and then go back to my place where now i need dinner too #all while being disabled. #and i just. take time i shouldn’t take and make things. #because if i wasn’t making things and actively doing that #i would probably drop out of school or something i couldn’t handle it. #it’s not worth it to suffer. the system im in makes me suffer anyways. #whatever. i need to fix some things but i need the energy to do it first. #which is a problem. #but. i keep going so. yeah.

[moongothic]

It is that time of the year again 😔

When I desperately want to make a PS1 Final Fantasy-style RPG

#Moon posting #Fortunately I do not know a thing about making games so although I am haunted by thoughts I have no way to manifest them #Unlike comics where I do have the power and knowledge on how to get The Thoughts out of my head and make them into something #So now I'm just haunted with Ideas for characters but nothing I can do with them because I have too many comics to work on already #Look I am a simple fucker. I yearn for the lowpoly turn based combat with funky character designs and a great plot #Torn between wanting to rewatch some playthroughts on YouTube and not wanting to feed my brainworms

[xariarte]

Was reading up on Benn Mathurin and...bro yearns for Canada... 🇨🇦

#this reminds me of that one rookie Dillon Brooks interview #they were like “So what do you miss about Canada?” #he was like TIMBITS I MISS THEM SO MUCH 😩😭🥺🇨🇦 #not surprised. timbits are important. very important... #great now i am yearning for timbits and i live in canada 😭😭 #bennedict mathurin #canadian basketball

[piplupod]

i need a spider expert on speed dial so i can ask them highly specific questions and get a yes or no answer without having to dig through articles that tell me way more than i would ever want to know and also show me photos of the thing i am terrified of

#do female spiders have pheromone trails that male spiders follow because if so then i do need to worry abt a female in the house somewhere #like i have zero idea if thats... a thing. but i know ants do it just normally so maybe spiders do that sometimes 🤷 #im just so paranoid that theres a great big honkin female wolfspider somewhere now that I've seen a male in here randomly dbfjdkl #WHYYYY ARE SPIDERS SO SCARYYYY #i wish i wasnt afraid of them !!! theyre just lil guys !!! in a great big world !!! #theyre living things with organs and heartbeats and lives to live just like us !!! #and yet i am so so so afraid of them !!! ARGH #also i Yearn for Knowledge.... i want to learn abt them bc theyre honestly so fascinating #but ... i am too scared DBFHFKL #the learning doesnt seem to ease the fear very often. it actually worsens it sometimes #ANYWAYS! time to go figure out a lunch and then work on some last minute cleaning WAUGH #pippen needs 2nd breakfast #spiders tw

[possiblytracker]

valentines day became a lot more fun and less agonising to me as an ace-aro person after it finally clicked over the past few years that whatever the fuck happens today is what i make of it, and that can and does include loving and appreciating the shit out of the friends ive decided i'd like to spend my life with in a way that i can define on my own terms not limited to the generic concept of romance. which i absolutely revel in doing, personally

#first and last post im gonna make about it BUT #kinda wild as a kid who got picked on on vday and got Insanely bitter abt the whole holiday for most of my teenage years #and coped by being 'totally fine with' the idea of living and dying alone bc who could Possibly want to get that close on my terms #that im here now and actually vibing with it #and like. if you hate vday personally i am giving you a pat on the back in solidarity. me too still for the most part #i am not going to be annoying about it for your sakes i respect you so much. best of luck avoiding Designated Love Day #but i am personally reclaiming this shit as a semi-recently discovered Bitch Who Yearns. #what a nice day to consider love in all its incredible forms! how great to remember i love and am loved in return #despite the years and years of thinking it just wasnt something that even loosely applied to me #funny how that works out sometimes. that im still learning things about myself #(some of this is slightly exaggerated ofc i have and have had friends who mean a Lot to me throughout! when i say 'alone' i dont mean Alone #(but it is still only recently ive started to unpack the 'i dont Need to bond that closely with people im Fine to live on my own' kinda #shit that i internalised for a stupid long time as a teenager #maybe i Do want to spend my life with other people in my own queerplatonic way and not only are there people who want that with me #but also make me want it with Them. and thats more than i could ever have imagined as a teenager) #ok tags ramble over im done getting sentimental khgCSDJ

[lesbian-space-fish]

.

#girl its great that theres a renewed interest in ql!! really!! its a great show and im glad people are getting into it/getting back into it #but my god some of these yahoos make me yearn for the days when it was just the same five people passing posts back and forth to each other #it was so chill people could disagree but it was in a chill civilized way #now? everyone has to have an opinion on everything and you have to publicly love or hate (no inbetween) every single thing #and jfc if its '''''''''not your quantum leap'''''''''' then just shut up and get the fuck out of the tag #im not afraid to block a bitch so anyone not behaving (aka acting like a grown ass adult) will get blocked this is a threat #sorry for going off its just been so long since ive had to deal with fandom drama #i mean ive seen it in wwd*ts and iw*v (where someone was complaining that they aged up one of the characters bc #'''what's the point of eternal youth if you're not young?''' #girl the character is like 30 now idk how to tell you this but 30 is still young!!! #almost threw hands then and there #but like im not IN in any of those fandoms not the way i am with ql #i hope its not gonna be like this moving forward #almost makes me wish the next couple eps are bad if only to weed out the jokers

[ri-a-rose]

So my little sister got engaged which I'm happy about and definitely not a tiny bit jealous

#she and her boyfriend have been dating for a couple of years so its exciting that he proposed #and like this is so selfish and petty but im jealous bc like im the oldest and it just idk #i feel like shes exceeding which is fine thats great im gglad for her that she has more ambition than me #but i just idk my cousin just got married and now my sister and i just feel lonely #she and b are gonna be high school sweethearts and ive literally never had a man look at me with interest #its petty af but both my sisters are prettier than me and have aspirations and goals and i just go to work and complain about shit #and the weddings not til may and my parents are already starting planning or whatever and #im a lump like im not going anywhere in life like have the dumbest goals #buy a house near my parents place so i visit them more often bc i cant take care of myself like a normal human person #im disabled but not really bc i can do things but only the bare minimum so my quality of life is not great unless my mom helps me with #cleaning and food bc im just really dumb and feel like a burden i mean m is in college with a good job and now engaged and j has plans and #a scholarship and will be working lots #meanwhile i complain about having to work 8 hours a day bc i used to work 4 hours and thats much nicer to my body like i didnt realise how #fucking lazy i am til i have to work more than 4 hours not really disabled just lazy and i complain to them about having to work i dont #know why they put up with my dumb ass i mean fuck its not hard to figure out why guys arent interested in me #i mean i want a person someone to like spend life with i yearn to love and be loved #theyre so cute doing lame cute couple things it makes my heart hurt #im done im done venting sorry #tbd #vent

[sheogorad]

ohhh man. reading soft harrykim fic and i just... ohhhhhhh god. i am a decorated member of the homo-sexual underground. and i am extremely touch starved.

#there is just... something about them #they're like. they're guys. they're literally old men. and they're masculine. and they love each other. they're men in love. #it's fic where they're masculine men being gentle and soft with each other. and i just. i feel so... oh my god #like i don't know how to properly describe it but this is like the first time in forever that i'm Shipping something to the point of #reading fic about it. and the last time it ended up being like... i was writing my own as a way to figure out my gender and sexuality so #it ended up morphing into this thing that is very distinctly Not Masculine as a whole #it's hard to describe but i projected a lot of pain as well and it just. it served a purpose but it's not who i am now? and it doesn't #represent what i want in my life now if that makes sense. but harrykim does and it just sends me to this place... i just Yearn #i haven't felt so deeply emotional about fictional characters in a long while and i certainly haven't read fic in a long time #so like reading fic that's just. two middle aged men who are both masculine and are independent people with problems and emotions just... #it is sending me y'all like. obviously some of the fics are really not great and enforce roles and personalities that just. suck. and are #super ooc as well. but the ones that i've been enjoying are so balanced and just make me crave a relationship so fucking bad #like i know i'm projecting again but it feels different and better this time and it's just. they're MEN. OLD MEN. MASCULINE. #there's no weird power dynamic in the fics i like. they're equals with personalities and problems and they're MEN. i'm just. this is really #getting to me now that i'm way further into my transition and am very firm around my gender and sexuality. /I/ am a masculine man. i am #am a homosexual adult male who is masculine who loves other masculine men. i'm not macho. i'm masculine. and i love that in other men #so reading about it is just... my BRAIN!!!!! mha HART!!!!!!!! mah SOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #i know i'm rambling i just... i am Yearning so Deeply and i just want what they have... i wanna be an old man in love w another old man... #where is my hdb. like yas king we stan a recovering alcoholic who is working on being a better person and moving past his traumaaa #also...... dad bod...... facial hair.......... i even love The Expression............... and he's DISCO............ I Want Him. #i could fix him........ i could make him better................ i could disco with him.................... no one look at me i'm YEARNING #anyway it's 4am so lmaoadso goodnight i'm gay as fuck sdjakaflh #.txt

[livingecho]

 𝓥˙˖* °⸻ tag dump / verses ...

 𝓥˙˖* °⸻ ❛ beyond which there is no god nor devil : only the consequences of actions ❜⎜❲ v . main .❳ 

𝓥˙˖* °⸻ ❛ speak only when spoken to ❜⎜❲ v . before the death of beau .❳

 𝓥˙˖* °⸻ ❛ i am a descendant of the tribe that was banished to the twilight realm ! ❜⎜❲ v . twilight teacher .❳

 𝓥˙˖* °⸻ ❛ the only real crime is betraying someone who trusted you ❜⎜❲ v . warrior .❳

 𝓥˙˖* °⸻ ❛  i would have given my soul to spare you this world ⅋ its loam ❜⎜❲ v . commoner .❳

 𝓥˙˖* °⸻ ❛ but heaven knows im miserable now ❜⎜❲ v . historical .❳

 𝓥˙˖* °⸻ ❛ i am falling . i am fading .  i am drowning help me to breathe … ❜⎜❲ v . modern .❳

 𝓥˙˖* °⸻ ❛ flesh ⅋ bone by the telephone . lift up the receiver ; I'll make you a believer .  ❜⎜❲ v . jojo .❳

 𝓥˙˖* °⸻ ❛ stubborness is my guiding star second only to my sense of duty . ❜⎜❲ his. red russian .❳ 

 𝓥˙˖* °⸻ ❛ an angel is a nightmare . their purpose is to instill primal & oppressive horror . ❜⎜❲ his. white russian .❳ 

 𝓥˙˖* °⸻ ❛ every great one loses it’s child & then yearns for a surrogate . ❜⎜❲ v. bloodborne .❳ 

 𝓥˙˖* °⸻ ❛ ph'nglui mglw'nafh cthulhu r'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn . ❜⎜❲ v. d&d .❳ 

 𝓥˙˖* °⸻ ❛ that is not dead which can eternal lie & with strange aeons even death may die ... ❜⎜❲ v. bg3 .❳

#𝓥˙˖* °⸻ ❛ beyond which there is no god nor devil : only the consequences of actions ❜⎜❲ v . main .❳ #𝓥˙˖* °⸻ ❛ speak only when spoken to ❜⎜❲ v . before the death of beau .❳ #𝓥˙˖* °⸻ ❛ i am a descendant of the tribe that was banished to the twilight realm ! ❜⎜❲ v . twilight teacher .❳ #𝓥˙˖* °⸻ ❛ the only real crime is betraying someone who trusted you ❜⎜❲ v . warrior .❳ #𝓥˙˖* °⸻ ❛ i would have given my soul to spare you this world ⅋ its loam ❜⎜❲ v . commoner .❳ #𝓥˙˖* °⸻ ❛ but heaven knows im miserable now ❜⎜❲ v . historical .❳ #𝓥˙˖* °⸻ ❛ flesh ⅋ bone by the telephone . lift up the receiver ; I'll make you a believer . ❜⎜❲ v . jojo .❳ #𝓥˙˖* °⸻ ❛ stubborness is my guiding star second only to my sense of duty . ❜⎜❲ his. red russian .❳ #𝓥˙˖* °⸻ ❛ an angel is a nightmare . their purpose is to instill primal & oppressive horror . ❜⎜❲ his. white russian .❳ #𝓥˙˖* °⸻ ❛ every great one loses it’s child & then yearns for a surrogate . ❜⎜❲ v. bloodborne .❳ #𝓥˙˖* °⸻ ❛ ph'nglui mglw'nafh cthulhu r'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn . ❜⎜❲ v. d&d .❳ #𝓥˙˖* °⸻ ❛ that is not dead which can eternal lie & with strange aeons even death may die ... ❜⎜❲ v. bg3 .❳

[clownpassing]

sorry i do so much nickposting i am just not sure where else to put my thoughts and feelings. anyways yeah last post was a little about him like mostly i just wish he stated his intentions more clearly like does he actually want to hang out with me or does he just feel bad for me and did those kisses mean anything would he do it again? could we please do it again?

#txt #op #im yearning its been like 3 weeks and it gets WORSE #i just. i don't know if i can just straight up ask him what his interest in me is. or if i would trust his(or anyone's) answer #my self worth has been not great for the last 2 years #it does not feel good to be flirted with and kissed and then flaked on twice EVEN THOUGH he had valid reasons for both times #just my gay little autism brain i am so used to people taking the easy way out in unfriending me (like ghosting etc) #my rational mature brain KNOWS he's busy and tired and stressed and sick lately but my traumatized little sensitive brain thinks maybe the #problem is me #ughhhhhh sorry ok i'm done now

[tomcruise-control]

.

#the levels of absolute yearning to be cuddled up to and kissed are at an all time high #forgot how great it was and now that its not happening again i am left missing it very much #i will get over this but i might be very stoned rn and just kind of had a horrible day and need a hug #screaming to the void

[trashbaget]

.

#me mooning over pictures of him: #in a sweet serene bubbly voice: #you fool! you buffoon! #you dont know how much i want to kiss you do you #you cannon fodder of a man i want to eat you whole and digest you for all my years #please shut up and kiss me on the mouth right the fuck now !!!!!! #i am going to ruin your life with my nonsense and silliness and horribly dramatic approach to problems #i want to hit you upside the head with a newspaper full of the soft and yearnful poems i write for you until you get it into your thick skul #you daft dumb dingus i love you #let me love you you great big oaf #me scowling at pictures of him: #growling i mean absolutely raging completely bonkers beserkly arguing with an inanimate face: #you gorgeous gorgeous human being #you absolutely unbelievably sexy bastard i need you to [redacted] and ***** ** y’hear??? #i want ypu to ruin my life you handsome devil #god i love you so fucking much #shut the hell your mouth but put it on mine first #i need you know how amazing and wonderful you make my life #you make me so unreasonably happy you beautiful motherfuck #i am smiling like an idiot right now goddamn grinning like a fool because YOU my friend are SO. FUCKING. GREAT. ???!? #.. #do you understand me? #he’s just some guy

[sayuri-of-the-valley]

On how Crowley and Aziraphale felt during the kiss (but mainly Crowley here):

Ok so first, the main idea for this huge meta is that a LOT of us noticed how the music from the kiss scene is similar to the nebula one, right?

Second, a lot of us also correctly noticed the parallels between the kiss and how it was to taste food for the first time for Aziraphale: bc of his reactions, the hand on lips, the similar way MS acted both scenes, the little inhale etc. So how was it for Crowley?

Aziraphale's reaction to the kiss is practically a puzzle to solve on its own, so it's fun to analyse it, but basically, in a few words, Aziraphale kissed Crowley and he discovered he was physically starving for him, longing for him, yearning for him, for his kiss, and he had no idea. Just like with the ox. And now he needs to gorge himself in him but he can't. Great amazing heartbreaking chef's kiss someone give MS an Emmy.

But there's already so much amazing meta out there about Aziraphale x Ox ribs x The Kiss that I want to focus on Crowley here, and on the music.

So back to the music. The song in "Before the Beginning" and the song that plays during The Kiss (I Forgive You + Don't Bother) are so similar. They're not *exactly* the same, but they're totally reminiscent of each other. The viewer is immediately reminded of those chords that played in the opening scene. It's no coincidence that the fandom was talking about this fact only minutes after first watching those final fifteen minutes. This is an obvious intentional choice for storytelling reasons (David Arnold is a genius).

I have no expertise whatsoever when it comes to music, so I asked our friend @otsanda to see if that made sense and not only it does and she explained it, but she also uncovered so much more hidden meaning in all of it (musicians are amazing), so check out her meta about the music that not only serves as evidence to what I'm proposing here but it also has so much more juicy information in it 💖.

Back to the point: WHY thought? Why choose a similar song? Why intentionally COMPOSE a similar song for that moment?

Hear me out. WHAT IF, by reminding the audience of the creation of the nebula, they meant to convey to us that, for Crowley, kissing Aziraphale gave him the same feeling that creating his stars did?

THAT'S what the music is telling us. THAT'S why it makes us remember "Before the Beginning". It may sound cheesy, but Crowley may have literally seen stars when he kissed Aziraphale. He couldn't react accordingly (just like Aziraphale couldn't), bc it was an overwhelming and extremely sad moment (the music is also telling us that) for both of them. They knew it was ending . They were both having a moment of huge revelation that was fated to not come to completion. Crowley was right, it was too late.

It makes sense to show Crowley's feelings through the music, bc he was the one who started the kiss, and also he was wearing sunglasses in that scene, it's different from a character like Aziraphale that has all his million expressions for everyone to see at all times. And they've been doing this ever since s1 with the Queen songs that play in his car or in the background.

So my point is: the same song being used there makes me wonder if kissing Aziraphale finally gave him what he lost. His purpose. What Aziraphale was trying to give back to him by taking him back to heaven. There's no need for Heaven. Just kiss him, Aziraphale, and there he'll find the stars you want to give back to him. There you will one day see that smile on his face you saw Before The Beginning. Neil Gaiman and David Arnold I am in your walls 😭

This is what may lead us to see this happiness in Crowley again (not the action of kissing itself, of course, but what it represents to their relationship, them being together, them being an Us).

As @otsanda said: from the music we can interpret that that moment was a Revelation for them. Almost a religious experience. Crowley found his purpose again. What he'd been missing the whole season (or even his whole life since the Fall, but we've seen him especially depressed this season).

I'm not even getting into the poetry of how one can interpret the parallel to the angel's reaction to the kiss as carnal, and the demon's as religious; that would be another whole essay but let's just agree that it's incredibly beautiful. (Let me be clear that I mean here Aziraphale's reaction is carnal specifically for Crowley, and Crowley's is religious specifically for Aziraphale, not religious as in "worshipping god")

"Do you ever wonder what's the point?" Crowley asked in s2e1. The point, for him, is Aziraphale (if you've seen The Good Place you know what I mean). I hope he figured this out with that kiss, even as heartbreaking as it was. Even if it was a (temporary) separation kiss. (I hope Aziraphale figures this out with time too, that he's more than enough to make Crowley happy, that Crowley doesn't need Heaven, or stars, that Crowley needs him.)

Maybe that's why Crowley didn't leave and kept waiting outside until the very last moment.

Aziraphale and Crowley both bit the apple at the end of s2. There's no turning back from that Knowledge now.

Edit: I just have to add here this brilliant colour analysis of the nebula scene by @halemerry. And it's pointed out that during the nebula formation there's a moment when it looks like two people embracing. And the fact that a similar song is used in the actual Kiss scene I just... I have no words

#good omens 2 #good omens #ineffable husbands #good omens kiss #my meta #good omens meta #before the beginning #i forgive you #don't bother #crowley #purpose #knowledge #music #david arnold #reactions to the kiss #the angel's carnal reaction vs the demon's religious experience