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special-encounters · 1 year
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I’m in a mood for angst heh-
Aliza was having a nightmare, she kept murmur words like “no” and such at one point she woke up “NO!” She was shaking a bit before she starting crying while mumbling
“N-no…I d-don’t be a-alone…”
@alizachan
*Hajime wraps his arms around her*
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bootlegsymphony · 4 years
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Being Hopeful [a *personal* Komahina writeup]
*major Danganronpa 2/2.5/3 spoilers ahead*
Someone told me to gather my thoughts into a post so here it is.
Note: Unless you’re up for a challenge to potentially reshape your opinions towards certain ships, if you think Komahina is by default a toxic ship in anyway shape or form, or if you firmly believe that Hinanami is “bestest Hinata ship OTP owo”, it’s not in your best interest to read this post. I’m not suggesting you are invalid or wrong, but you’re likely not the group of people I’m looking forward to having a constructive and evoking conversation with.
First off, I might have been recognized as an avid Komahina shipper, and my opinions towards Hinanami could be generally summarized as ambivalent/mixed/minorly favourable. I was able to acknowledge Hina/Nami’s relationship as of roughly equivalent significance in regard to DR2’s theme.
But it was impossible for me to consider the two relationships narratively equal, I was able to notice that Koma/Hina was a “meant to be” endgame relationship right of the bat, yet Hina/Nami reads as this transitory experience of an obscure puppy love, or “yeah that happened” that’s melancholic and beautiful. Evidently, the narrative strongly favoured Koma/Hina in terms of screentime, development, complexity, compatibility, and endgame potentials.
I wasn’t too confident about why Komahina screams an ultimate destination of a Hinata relationship to me, yet Hina/Nami never convey a remotely similar message. In many aspects, I didn’t ship Komahina in the past for the sake of “I want Komaeda to savour happiness” but placed more emphasis on “it would be wise for Hinata if he could ascertain that his future is with Komaeda”. However I couldn’t elucidate why I thought so.
But due to some unexpected changes in my personal life, it was so effortless for me to reach an epiphany why Hinanami couldn’t quite be the same Hinata-OTP as Komahina. And now I’m kicking myself for not being able to be more adamant about it earlier.
In short, I had a brief taste of how “true bond” or “true connection” functions. It was an estranged, uncharted experience to me prior to that “sudden change”. And in retrospect it’s unimaginable how I survived that bitter life of pure bleakness without it. But since I was able to discern the characteristics of a “true bond”, Koma/Hina, while being excruciatingly complicated and bitter in canon timeline, had a great foundation for that nonetheless, while Hina/Nami was, fundamentally “deficient” in this specific department.
Hina/Nami, either the DR2 or DR3 iteration, doesn’t go beyond being a fine relationship. It’s not bad, as adolescent crushes are typically not bad. It’s functional and somewhat sweet if Hinata was just some normal shy boy who at some point met a nice caring pretty girl. But a great, monumental relationship doesn’t come from being just fine, and Hinata is much more messy than a such-and-such average joe as what a part of the fandom preferred to project him as.
But Hinata wasn’t an adequate rival and foil for Komaeda, that ridiculously multilayered character likely in all fictions for nothing.
For starter, Hinata committed Izuru Kamakura and countless war crimes, for fuck’s sake.
I had this pessimistic outlook that humans aren’t truly designated at birth to understand each other unless they are. Real life Nanami being the talented, worthy Ultimate Gamer she was, even if she could acknowledge and validate Hinata’s struggles as a talentless person, and brought him some temporary comfort and solace, she could not understand the full spectrum of complications the struggle itself entails. Being the kind and somewhat compassionate person she was, she’d try to understand Hinata if he ever decided to open up, but she’d likely just go “yeah talent doesn’t really matter you should just be confident in yourself” as long as she’s not some Ultimate Empath like Makoto (or Junko) all at the same time. To her, Hinata’s decision to Izuru-fy is unfavorable, but not particularly tangible.
It’s somewhat similar to a moderately affluent person not knowing what an impoverished/economically-challenged life entails, they could never understand why it’s necessary for anyone to opt for crimes and prostitution and shit, if you could just “yeah money doesn’t matter you should be happy” your way out of it. Why is it necessary to choose a life path of crimes and prostitution? Why is it necessary to Izuru-fy oneself? It’s the perpetual predicament of mutual understanding in humankind. No matter how sweet and wholesome on the surface that ship appeared, Nanami would hardly ever reach Hinata’s soul beyond skin-deep, if the talent/worth debate, the rigorous societal expectations, the everlasting emotional quagmire of being under-loved and under-appreciated...everything which gradually carved out Hinata’s pivotal character (that we know of) from his embryo, was a non-issue to Nanami at core.
If there was a portion of Hinata yearning for true connection in an intimate relationship (which I doubt he didn’t), his relationship with Nanami would eventually turn insufficient or dissatisfactory, despite feeling nice on the exterior.
Normally, people don’t realize they’re empty until they’re fulfilled.
But who else struggled immensely with the entanglement between talent and worth throughout their life? Who else once resolved to obliterate their own precious being in pursuit of an almost delusional ideal of hope as Hinata did, so that they could potentially speak to Hinata on the deepest, hidden stratum of his soul?
Komaeda.
It always pains me to read Komaeda’s first FTE where he suggested Hinata’s ultimate talent could be “Ultimate Serenity” because Hinata granted him some inner peace “just by being there”. Knowing Komaeda’s mind it’s a nearly impossible feat to make him feel peaceful. Komaeda likely didn’t even consider that a legitimate talent, he inwardly viewed Hinata “being there” as inherently valuable but he couldn’t even tell. Yet Hinata failed to just, be there, be existent.
And, I always considered Komaeda sustaining himself being alive to be a monument on its own, yet 2-5 happened, for Hope, I believed.
I once had a mentally stimulating talk about how emotional and intellectual transparency lead to a solid foundation of “true love” among people with someone before. They even expressed, months ago, that if Hinata could just speak up about his problems with Nanami he wouldn’t have necessarily Izuru-fied himself.
Yet even being the aloof and reserved fucker he was, Hinata wouldn’t camouflage himself in front of Komaeda. Komaeda saw through him even if he was having a hard time deciding on how he should have felt himself. He voiced, various times throughout DR2, that “we have similar scents” “I thought you would understand me” “we’re both miserable bystanders” “I couldn’t see you as completely separate from me”. On the surface it seemed like Komaeda was being cryptic and dragging Hinata to his level, but given how we knew Hinata took even more drastic measures as escapism, were they even that different?
It was why exactly Komahina dynamic was so embittered and resentful in the canon timeline. It was not hatred, but involuntary intimacy. Hinata was emotionally stripped naked (sorry, not to evoke any erotic visualizations, just a convenient metaphor) when it’s not even Komaeda’s intention, and Komaeda’s always emotionally naked. It didn’t turn out well not because it was a fundamentally dysfunctional dynamic, but they simply met each other in the worst, most despairful and unluckiest timeline possible. With continuous manslaughters ongoing, it’s only palpable that baring your soul to someone as dangerous as Komaeda would be intimidating, but it still had that mesmerizingly entrancing aura, especially in Komaeda’s last FTE.
They had no choice of not knowing each other well.
Unless either of them died, which they both did. But an ultimate future was born and they were granted a second chance to finally reach the destination they deserved.
In a post-HPA scenario, Komahina was not only somewhat contextually implied as Hinata’s endgame, but it was deliberately set up as a generally hopeful relationship as well. Kodaka once suggested in an interview that post-HPA Hajizuru inherited Hinata’s emotions, so that he was able to sort out his considerably complex feelings for Komaeda as it left off; meanwhile with Izuru’s analytical skills and insights into human psychology, it would likely become not as cumbersome. With Hinata’s determination and persistence it would hopefully not only cure Komaeda’s terminal illnesses, but also “heal” Komaeda from his hope fetish and other cruddy coping mechanisms, with all the support and dedication Hinata could provide. Hinata, being emotionally identical to his past self, would likely occasionally experience insecurity and low self-esteem as well, and it could require Komaeda’s weird little method of presenting challenges/creating minor inconveniences for Hinata in order to help him build up self-agency and develop infallible self-assurance.
It’s kind of the Ultimate Love that survived all the trials and tribulations, and to think of that the Ultimate Tragedy gave birth to the Ultimate Love, huh, seems about right for our two Ultimate Lucks.
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ladylucindae · 7 years
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Could it be?! Akane, was it your idea all along?! :O
***
Hinata: I don’t think It’s necessary...
Akane: DO IT OR I’LL PUNCH YA! HE HAS TO BE BADASS, YA KNOW!
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special-encounters · 1 year
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Aliza hugs Hajime from behind “Happy birthday Hajime!”
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Thank, Aliza!
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special-encounters · 1 year
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Hajime was sleeping, when he woke up in his dream he was in a field of flowers with trees around and someone was messing with a flower
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It was Aliza was a kid what kind of dream is this?
Go talk to her?
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Hello, who are you?
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special-encounters · 1 year
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Healing
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special-encounters · 1 year
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Izuru and Hajizuru
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special-encounters · 2 years
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Hey everyone how is everyone doing today?
(This is all the muses, btw)
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I'm doing good.
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Could be worse...
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Depends who's asking.
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I am doing well
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Depends on who's asking..
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Really well, thank you
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Very good!
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Bored.
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I'm just hanging out
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I could be napping.
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I'm Good
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I'm trying out some new drugs!
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I'm actually doing well.
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Amazeballs!
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Feeling a bit sidelined, honestly.
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Sitting on my ass, waiting for someone to call on me.
(And that's Everyone!)
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special-encounters · 1 year
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Darkness is the light
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special-encounters · 1 year
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Birthday Boy
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special-encounters · 1 year
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Big thanks to @mikado-sannoji , @mystery-orphans-club , @iroha-painter-missing , @ask-the-ultimate-matchmaker , @chaotic-killings , @chaoticblogofmuses , @dragonknightsworn , and all my followers!
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ladylucindae · 7 years
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[?!]
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[Post inspired by arts_shadyjoker & @kassistav & @rirururu.]
LINK: http://rirururu.tumblr.com/post/157551822967/kassistav-instagramcomartsshadyjoker
I’m huge Harry Potter nerd so I couldn’t resist a urge to comment on that post. At first I was about to simply repost it… but I really wanted to expand that topic so I just started “a new thread”. Why? Mostly because I strongly disagree with Komaeda being in Slytherin! I also don’t think Hinata would be in Hufflepuff. I would love to comment about other characters from DR universe but let’s start with simply Komaeda and Hinata.
[WARNING, SPOILERS FOR ALL DANGANRONPA GAMES AND ANIME INCLUDED!]
Komaeda in Slytherin:
I agree with people who thinks that Komaeda really suits to Slytherin standards. He is smart, manipulative, good at using people’s traits against them and merciless for himself when it comes to his goals. His deduction skills are incredible and his, most of the time, calm and calculative personality can be really misleading.
“You admitted it yourself, so what’s wrong with Komaeda as Slytherin?”
To be honest, for me Komaeda is a true Hufflepuff.
No, I didn’t based my opinion on Fantastic Beasts which probably changed a lot of people’s opinion about Hufflepuff. It’s just a conclusion which I reached after understanding his character. The Sorting Hat is able to reach the deepest thoughts and dreams in anyone who is brave enough to put it on and I’m sure it would see Komaeda’s true colours.
Hufflepuff is different than other houses. It simply requires loyality as the most important trait from their students. They also highly value equality, hard-work and fairness. This house apperaciate patience.
Komaeda in the unhealthly and dangerous enviroment like Killing School Trip is showing much more of his Slytherin side than Hufflepuff. He isn’t hiding his feelings but they are covered by his actions and indirect words. It’s a fact, all cunning Komaeda used isn’t provided by selfishness and desire to live - it’s all because he belives that it will help his friends. He risked his life without any plan in Final Dead Room. He was ready to tell Hinata how awesome talent he has! I hinted it in my previous posts but I believe Komeada deep down wanted Hinata and others to survive more than anything.
He was often misunderstood by his classmates who never cared to really understand him. Even so, he always wanted to be useful for them. That was the reason for him to do terrible things because no one told him despite Yukizome that it isn’t the way to solve problems. Later on, only Hinata was trying to tell him directly in a way he could think about it that nothing good will be born by killing people.
Komaeda was during all events of SDR2 selfless. He was underastimating his own value and when he actually started to see how he is outsmarting most of his admired Ultimates he wasn’t even doing it for his own pleasure. He didn’t have fun at all. He was looking for a cure for his uneasiness. He also never betrayed Hinata’s exceptations. He was doing everything by a plan which could be (and was) reavealed. He didn’t destroy any evidences needed to solve a case. He gave them a chance. It was a fair trail. He used his talent as everybody else before. That was theirs fault to underastimate it. Komaeda even reminded them before he killed himself about how he trust them and his ultimate luck. He wanted to point it out in their minds.
It’s all there: sense of fairness, trust, loyality and determination.
Don’t forget about SDR2.5 which is like a Ultimate Proof for my statement. It’s showing him in the fullest. He couldn’t be misunderstood there by his own mind and Hajizuru.
I’ll point out the most important part of it, needed for that post, which is about role which Souda have. It is our last, lost, element. Souda who never had a chance to be someone important to Sonia in Komaeda’s dream is able to make his dream come true simply by hard-work and braveness. He longed for it so long and his work wasn’t in vain - he reaped what he saw in Komaeda’s dream.
World made simply by a desire for everyone to be equally happy. That’s a definition of happiness for Komaeda. Everything is a reflection of their hard-work. The only one problem in that world is, that Komaeda couldn’t bring himself to be happy along with everyone as he didn’t treat himself as the others because of his cursed fate.
Hinata in Hufflepuff:
Hinata is often interpreted only by his actions in SDR2 and Kibou-hen. I don’t mind that. It’s part of him but not everything he was and is. As in Komaeda’s case I understand why people see him as a Hufflepuff.
It’s mostly because of his ability to help others without asking questions and how he was able in all FTE’s make his “classmates” comfortable in his company. When he is focusing on someone else he really do his best, right? It’s admirable. Not everyone has ability to listen.
He valued friendship and was quite clumsy and naive.
I can’t think of anything else at that moment which is strictly bonding him to Hufflepuff. That leads to question, which house I think is suitable for him.
Answer is Slytherin.
Slytherin could be considered as complete opposite to Hufflepuff, especially with considering that house main values. Slytherins are proud people with strong desire to accomplish grateness. They are bounded to traditions, loyal to themselves and their families - not to everyone equally, smart and good at using information or gathering them for their own profit.
Let’s start with DR3: Despair Side. We had opportunity to see a real Hinata in that arc. He was miserable and most of us can agree that Slytherins are not associated with losers. Still, what’s important is Hinata’s view on Hope’s Peak Academy. It’s also pointed out in SDR2 - as his memory which was “taken” from events before he attended to Hope’s Peak. He never doubted a system of talent. He joined Academy to achive something great. That’s very Slytherin like.
When he crossed paths with Nanami, he was glad to have a friend of that much importance. She was from Main Course. It’s true, he never used her to get to know other Ultimates but he was truly blessed by her presence. That was enough for him because he focused on something every unhealthly Slytherin would do - his own insignificance.
He tried really hard to avoid a problem. Natsumi didn’t help him at all when she pierced him with his own thoughts. He pited her when she was crying about how she was a Ultimate Little Sister for Kuzuyuu. Mostly because, he was understanding the strong desire to have a talent. At first he thought it was just irrelevant or simply stupid. Talent like that not isn’t existing. He wouldn’t be satisfied with something without sense. It can be also proved by his reaction on Komaeda’s talent or conversations about his own talent. Hinata never wanted to have a useless talent.
Nanami convinced him about being talentless isn’t a bad thing but he wasn’t believing in it with all his might. Those thoughts were just his comfort-zone. After Sakakura’s brutal reminder of how things really are in Hope’s Peak Academy, he decided to take a part of Kamakura Project. No, he didn’t think:
“He is messed up! I only wanted as a HUMAN BEING meet my friend!”
“Something is really wrong with how things are solved here! I must protect Nanami, find a way to talk with her!”
He almost already assumed that the only way is to get a talent, be someone worthy. As if he isn’t already just by being a human with whom Nanami had fun.
There we have: strong desire for achiving grateness, the most important of all Slytherin traits.
For those of you who aren’t satisfied - we’ll continue.
SDR2: His desire to have a great talent is still there. Idea of having it even if doesn’t remember it is comforting him. But, we will focus for now on something different. Hinata didn’t trust Usami from the beginning of the story. He was suspicious and cautious as every Slytherin would be. He didn’t care if that would change a mood and made everyone feel uneasy. Of course, Hinata isn’t as smart as Komaeda who hide his intentions till first trail, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be Slytherin or Komaeda a Hufflepuff.
Hinata never had as twisted beliefs as Komeda and he didn’t consider killing someone a good thing but before fouth trail he was considering someone get killed. Of course, he never wanted to be a victim or Nanami to be. He cared about her. He also knew based on experience that if one of them would do this, their class would find it out. His selfishness at that moment was stronger than anything. It’s very Slytherin like to survive by any means.
It’s also a fact that he didn’t care about Naegi, Kirigiri and Togami. He was about to stay in the program to live if Nanami wouldn’t interfere. He considered her as his moral compass.
Hinata is loyal to those he likes. He is trying to understand their feelings which is the reason for Komaeda to get so close to him. That’s a Ravenclaws’s and Slytherins’s trait but Hinata is really trying to understand things. He isn’t satisfied with half-baked answers so he is digging as much as he can. That can be seen the most in Komaeda’s FTE or on trails. Still, Ravenclaws are doing it more for the sake of knowledge or interest and Slytherins for their own benefit or interest, mostly two of those together.
It’s also very Slytherin like to be abe use drastic methods when their life are at stake. Chapter 3 of SDR2 is a good prove of that. After all, no one believed him despite Komaeda who is a murderer. At that point of the story everyone started to be much closer to each other emotionally. Chapter 5, can be used too.
As for Kibou-hen, where we can finally experience his healthly Slytherin side:
He is happy to be an Ultimate with all his memories within him. His dream of being talented finally came true. Hinata also have a possibility to take care of his friends which are like family to him.
To be honest, he wasn’t even that much interested in helping Naegi. Mikan took care of Kirigiri. He “wasted” time on Yukizome who was already dead - as if he forgot that people are still dying over there. He helped Ryouta instead, who was important for Imposter. Of course, helping Ryouta was like preventing world from destruction but I can’t help feeling that was his second “main goal”. Even then, when Souda for fun reminded him about being Reserve Course Student he felt a little bit provoked.
That’s the end. It took so long, but I think it was worth it!
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ladylucindae · 7 years
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[Parallel]
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Hello! I want to thank all of you for your support!
It’s a unofficial second part of my post about Hinata’s view on Chiaki and Komaeda. This time I want to show you how similar Hinata and Komaeda are and how it’s showing in Komahina & Hinanami. I used word parallel not without a reason. That’s why this time we will analyze in detail how Hinata cared about Chiaki and Komaeda about Hinata. Enjoy!
FIRST PART:
http://ladylucindae.tumblr.com/post/156740327682/comparison
RENDER: Nemi20
ARTIST: ???
HINATA’S PAST SIDE:
Hinata met Chiaki by accident. She got attached to him quickly because with him she was able to do something she always dreamed of - spending a time with a friend and have fun. Hinata couldn’t believed that his presence was the only thing she really needed. It was strange and rather... normal. He was lonely as her but it was a problem someone as miserable like him, not an Ultimate.
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Hinata couldn’t accept himself the way he was at that time. He admired Chiaki becuase she was a part of Main Course. He tensed up in her presence and he couldn’t help being proud that she choose him as companion even if it was weird for him. Chiaki tried her best to help him and make him understand how being talentless isn’t wrong. In her eyes he was free. He could be anyone he wanted to be. He wasn’t bounded to games like she was.
Time they spend together were precious to both of them. Hinata at that point was even more frustrated to be a part of Main Course. Chiaki was there and he wasn’t good enough to spend time with her. Everyone looked down on him, even his classmate Natsumi Fuyuhiko who should understand his feelings.
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Hinata was inspired by her and that small light encouraged him to ask about what happened to her. It was the only one moment where Hinata was on the way to accept himself. “I’ll do it! I’ll find her and do something to help!”. He wanted to consider himself as Chiaki’s friend. He wanted to be her friend. Sakakura smashed his braveness without any shame. A wall beetwen Chiaki and him was too sturdy to destroy with his own determination.
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Hope’s Peak Academy made him believe that this goal could be accomplished only by taking part in Kamakura Project. There is a high possibility that Hinata being always neglected or even abused by his parents never had an opportunity to develop a healthly friendship with anyone. He admired Hope’s Peak Academy becuase he tried to find a way to make impossible possible. It was a Hope’s Peak Academy after all, who would help him better than them?
His past self was cursed by admiration.
KOMAEDA’S NEO WORLD PROGRAM SIDE:
Komaeda needed someone who could accept him with all his flaws. It wouldn't be possible without Neo World Program for him to realize that he is able to find his happiness. He was self-loathing but he couldn't accept getting close to someone without talent.That's crucial part. Komaeda believed Hinata was Ultimate even better than himself - that's why was interested in Hinata and his bystander aura.
The difference between Hinata & Chiaki and Komaeda & Hinata was that Hinata in Komaeda's company didn't feel inferior even if Komaeda was feeling this towards him just not as strong as usual with others Ultimates. Komaeda's situation is the same as Hinata's in Chiaki's case.
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Their relationship changed drastically after Komaeda's reveal. Yet, Komaeda couldn't understand why Hinata was different from all the Ultimates. He was still talking to him even if he was undoubtedly mad, he was checking on him and didn't say harsh words like Souda and he was clearly worried about him when he was in the Hospital. Again, a parallel with Chiaki's and Hinata's relationship. Chiaki was always concerned about their meetings, she was always trying to support Hinata and she was mad at him when he ditched her. This anger quickly changed into sadness and worry.
Just like Hinata, Komaeda was attached to Hinata as he was to Chiaki. The difference was in their self-awareness. Komaeda was conscious of nature of feelings towards Hinata while Hinata was admiring Chiaki because he felt he doesn't deserve her the way he was at that moment - talentless. Komaeda struggled because of those feelings and couldn't tell them directly but they were definitely there. It sounds familiar, right?
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"I love hope. You admire hope. In some ways we're similar, but maybe that difference is what's making me so emotional."
And that's the whole point! Komaeda is saying those words to Hinata after realizing Hinata is Reserve Course Student. He is confused but he can't help still loving Hinata for all kindness and support he gave him. He deep down accepted Hinata the way he was, his true appearance not the one he was imagining. That's why he took his hand after waking up from Neo World Program. He accepted Hinata as he accepted his flaws.
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“Ahh... Kamakura Izuru? No, you’re, uh, Hinata, right?”
He was in the middle of waking up and he bearly recognized anything but he heard Hinata’s voice and it probably reminded him about his dream in Neo World Program with Hajizuru. Yet, he almost already corrected himself and asked if person in front of him is the person he wanted to meet the most.
SUMMARY:
Admiration couldn't make a healthy relationship. Hinata was too focused on being equal rather on his own true feelings for Chiaki or her feelings for him. He almost made it. He almost was on his way to realize that in relationships talents don't matter but... he failed. His faith was crushed.
The saddest part of this comparison is Komaeda was able to understand his feelings and accept things way they were, while Hinata never did that in the first place. He never accepted himself or see real Chiaki - normal girl, who wanted to make a lot of friends and play video games.
Komaeda's and Hinata relationship could end up the same as theirs but Komaeda got the chance to grow up on his own peace.
I also believe that Hinata and Chiaki could develop healthly friendship or romantic relationship but only if Chiaki would survive The Most Tragic Event In History Of Mankid. Hinata was too immature in Despair Side.
TL;DR: Komaeda was in the same situation as Hinata but instead of neglecting real Hinata he choose to accept him.
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