#hamburgler

[catfindr]

#petfinder #catfinder #cat #kitten #kitty #food mention #hamburgler #solid grey #solid gray #ga #georgia #🏷️

[hwinn]

make sure to place your orders before the 15th! After that I’ll be closing down my shop until I’m back on the east coast in May

#Tbh I don’t mind if this shitty ad doesn’t make me any sales it was fun as hell to pump out #balloon boy #shrek #opaque blue scooby doo gummy #hamburgler #bojack horseman #parody artist #parody art

[stastrodome]

Quand le diable devient vieux, il se fait ermite.

(When the devil gets old, he becomes a hermit.)

*

The Hamburgler, tired of his corrupt life, ashamed of his infamous compulsion to steal food from the poor, left McDonaldland and turned to the cloister. He spent his days of penance and devotion in a Claretian order which forcused on social as well as spiritual reward and, for his good work over the years, was recognized as Brother Hamgiver, feeder of the needy.

#Saint Claret #hamburgler #hamburger #mcdonalds #spiritual reward #Charity #Faith #Hope

[deprecating-killjoy]

Mcdonaldland mascots but cute

#mcdonalds #hamburgler #grimace #shamrock #shamrock shake #fanart #ronald mcdonald #digital media #digital doodle #digital illustration

[butchdykenormallen]

WHY DID I SPEND AN HOUR AND TWENTY MINUTES DOING THIS OH MY GOD.

#the hamburglar #mcdonalds #hamburgler #hamburglar #whatever. #loser_art.png #tw caps

[asterkurayami]

#mcdonalds #happy meal #hamburgler #grimace #cactus plant flea market #toy #20221007

[the-strange-world-of-jplovecraft]

What really happened to the Hamburgler?

by JPLOVECRAFT based on concepts generated by AI Lovecraft

There are many opinions, some bordering on conspiracy, about the fate of beloved and freakishly weird hamburger headed fast food mascot: The Hamburgler. Some site corporate espionage, some speculate conspiracy by McDonald’s to silence through murder. Some theories go as far as revenge and cannibalism. What’s true, what’s speculation, if a walking, talking hamburger hybrid being eats a human head is that really considered cannibalism? In this piece we will be presenting three versions of this story, each more extreme than the other. Which one is true, are any of them true, do any of them contain McNuggets of truth…?

Fucked if I know.

Theory one: The Hamburgler gets canned.

The Hamburglar, beloved yet forgotten hamburger headed mascot of the McDonald’s hamburger sandwich franchise was officially fired from the company after years of service. While the official reason for his termination was not given, many have speculated that the cause sinister.

It is believed that the Hamburglar’s firing was politically motivated. For years, the Hamburglar had been a vocal critic of the company’s policies and practices, and had become increasingly vocal in recent years. He had been vocal about the company’s use of unhealthy ingredients, their labor and environmental policies. He had also been vocal about the company’s use of artificial ingredients and the lack of transparency in their supply chain.

The corporation was also nervous about rumours that the mascot was not merely an actor in costume but… well… some sort of “experiment.”

This criticism had become increasingly uncomfortable for the company, and it is believed that they decided to silence the Hamburglar by firing him.

It is also believed that the company was concerned with the Hamburglar’s increasingly maniacal behavior. He had become unpredictable and erratic, and the company worried that his behavior could reflect poorly on their brand.

The firing of the Hamburglar is a tragedy, and it is a reminder of the real, horrible, twisted, political and maniacal reasons why corporations often make decisions. It is a reminder that corporations are not always driven by moral or ethical principles, but rather by their own self-interest. The Hamburglar’s firing serves as a stark reminder of the power of corporations and the need to hold them accountable for their actions.

The Hamburgler has since gone into seclusion and has not been seen for many years.

Theory two: The Hamburgler was assassinated.

The world was shocked when theories surfaced that the beloved McDonald’s mascot, the Hamburglar, had been murdered. The character had been a staple of the McDonald’s brand for over 40 years, and his sudden disappearance was a mystery that had many people asking questions.

After his sudden disappearance an anonymous source claimed that the McDonald’s corporation had orchestrated his murder in order to silence him for what he had seen and was about to expose.

The source claimed that the Hamburglar had stumbled upon evidence of a major cover-up involving the company’s use of unhealthy ingredients in their food. The Hamburglar had been planning to reveal this information to the public, a move that would have been disastrous for McDonald’s reputation.

In order to prevent this from happening, the McDonald’s corporation reportedly hired a hitman to eliminate the Hamburglar. The Hamburglar was silenced. His hamburger head supposedly repurposed as the main ingredient in a limited edition “happy meal.” While his human half is kept in an underground lab providing stem cells for future mascots.

The news of the Hamburglar’s murder sent shockwaves through the fast food industry, and many people began to question the integrity of the McDonald’s brand. The company has since denied any involvement in the Hamburglar’s death, but the story of his demise serves as a reminder of the lengths that some corporations will go to in order to protect their secrets.

This theory is both shocking and flimsy. In all honesty I personally find it hard to believe that the Hamburgler was that concerned with ethics in food prep, I mean, dude was straight stealing those delicious burgers, that’s the calling card of an addict. Plus… this theory pushes even further that the Hamburgler was half human, half delicious burger and well… let’s move on.

Theory three: Lab experiments, revenge, cannibalism…?

The Hamburgler, was / is a mysterious, mischievous figure who seemed to appear and disappear at will. He had a penchant for stealing hamburgers. That’s weird and confusing.

No one knew where the Hamburgler had come from or why he was stealing hamburgers, but everyone knew he was up to no good.

One day, the Hamburgler had had enough. Driven mad by the horrific lab experiments that birthed him from a test tube decades earlier. Heartbroken from watching the systematic drowning of the chicken McNugget mascots in the great sauce massacre of the late 90s. Emotionally scarred by the untimely suicide of his musician friend MacTonight. It was all too much.

He had watched as humans gorged themselves on hamburgers, McNuggets, hot apple pies, McRibs, big n tasties, McDonald’s pizza?!!! It would never end. His hamburger addiction was swelling, his paranoia crippling, his sudden awareness that when he ate a burger he was eating a tiny version of his own head…! Mac Tonight, the McNuggets, the fry girls, him… were all victims, pawns. He decided it was time for revenge.

A series of horrific murders ensued, targeting those who had consumed the most hamburgers. He would sneak into their homes in the middle of the night and stun them with a hammer, but it didn't stop there. The Hamburgler would then proceed to “cannibalize” his victims, suffocating them with large saucy sesame seed buns and cheese before methodically consuming their heads in a gruesome display of revenge and gluttony. At each crime scene, scrawled on the wall in ketchup and special sauce, punctuated with pickles and onions were the words: HOW’D YOU LIKE IT IF SOMEONE ATE YOUR HEAD!!!? MAC TONIGHT WAS A MUSICAL GENIUS!!!! I WAS MADE IN A LAB!!! I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER FOR A HEAD!!!

Does the Hamburgler's reign of terror continue to this day? No witnesses have been left alive to testify or help locate the hamburger headed mad mascot. Legend says he waits behind dumpsters for the closing crew to exit work at random McDonald’s locations to pounce on whatever unlucky employee has no buddy to walk with and consequently, a big fat delicious head.

Whether there’s any truth to these theories, I can’t say. I can say though that it’s going to take way more than a hamburger headed, human head eating monster, the suicide of a musical genius / Bobby Darin soundalike with a crescent moon face or the mass drowning of the McNuggets to keep me away from Mac deeezy fo sheezy. Them breakfast sammies are on point.

The Hamburgler's story serves as a reminder to us all that the consequences of fame, fortune and gluttony can be dire.

A 20 piece McNugget box is only $5.

That damned clown is still out there somewhere.

#creepy podcast #creepy #plur #creepypasta #horror #parody #hamburgler

[undyingavenue]

hamburglar should've been a tumblr sexyman i do believe

#tumblr sexyman #hamburgler #shitpost

[issamomma]

#I think it’s a monster fucker thing honestly #but the point here is that I have absolutely surrounded myself with the right people #grimace #hamburgler #grimace the gay icon

[lunawings]

Adult happy meals with bizarre collectibles is definitely something I would have expected more from Japan than America.

But here we are.

#mcdonalds #hamburgler

[eissibee]

So I lost my job today. Knew the meeting was coming, so I dressed up like the Hamburgler. Dress for the job you want, right? Fuck ya life, Bing bong

#shitpost #mcdonalds #hamburgler

[catfindr]

#petfinder #catfinder #cat #kitten #kitty #hamburgler #black tuxedo #ga #georgia

[meinalauss]

We are getting PAMPERED with all these treats, keep 'em comin' 👌

#hamburgler #basil we've talked about this man #basil eidenbenz #baesil

[cassnderson]

#yellow #hamburgler

[liverspoon]

Is that a hamburger in your pocket?

#hamburgler #sexy hamburgler #McDonald’s #McDonald’s lore

[abs0luteb4stard]

#unknown #wimpy Popeye #Hamburgler #McDonalds #popeye the sailor