#have i ever mentioned that i love 'wasteland baby!' ? because GOD do i ever

[lifemod17]

it is disgustingly late and i cannot sleep so i SHOULD be grumpy, HOWEVER, having Wasteland, Baby! and Be (Acoustic) playing back to back has me smiling stupidly and its doing a wonderful job of lulling me to slumber 😌

#have i ever mentioned that i love 'wasteland baby!' ? because GOD do i ever #these two song back to back is so beautiful because of course andy knows how to set the tone of an album #drowning both songs in reverb to make it feel like he's singing from underwater is insane actually and i will never shut up about that #still gotta postpone that funeral until after april 19 for the 'wasteland baby! deluxe' album #i NEED to be so emotionally damaged by 'why would you be loved' #because from what i saw on the lyrics.... its gonna be my new personality #sad and yearny and a hopeless romantic <- i am nothing if not on brand #hozier #wasteland baby! #wastelandposting

[thesunsethour]

my official ranking of (basically) every song by hozier

(ignoring some collabs/songs from soundtracks etc)

(this is just my opinion no one shout at me)

(he has no Bad songs, only Less Brilliant ones)

52) To Noise Making (Sing) (the sing chorus at the end goes on just *that* bit too long

51) Sunlight (slightly repetitive)

50) Nobody (maybe this is controversial? does however contain one of my favourite lyrics “it’s suicide Tuesday back in LA”)

49) Sedated (the lowest ranked song of his self titled album and it’s not because it’s not good it’s because his discography is fucking insane)

48) Someone New (only ranked this low because it was very overplayed in Ireland when it came out)

47) Almost (Sweet Music) (this was never my favourite song but who can resist “i laugh like me again she laughs like you”)

46) Son of Nyx (hozier made the best study music song of all time)

45) Wasteland, Baby! (sounds exactly like the album feels, if that makes sense?)

44) Swan Upon Leda (would be higher but i keep accidentally forgetting to add it to my playlist because it’s not on an album. also Free Palestine)

43) Better Love (hozier’s voice is so beautiful)

42) Dinner & Diatribes (ever since someone said he sounds like Count von Count in this song i can’t un-hear it)

41) It Will Come Back (so sexy. one of the sexiest songs in his oeuvre)

40) NFWMB (an under appreciated classic. i remember playing this in the car when my dad was dropping our friend’s kid to school and getting in trouble for the cursing)

39) The Parting Glass - Live from The Late Late Show (not only a beautiful rendition, but it was also performed during covid when everyone was feeling very hopeless and he just captivated ireland for a few short moments. gorgeous)

38) Anything But (we are reaching the territory of songs that are so goddamned good that it feels a crime they are so low down. he has dozens of such songs)

37) In the Woods Somewhere (eerie vibes which are beautiful and exacerbated when you find out he based this on a dream he had)

36) To Be Alone (again, CRIMINAL that this is so low down. blame hozier having so many good songs. don’t blame me)

35) Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene (a bop AND a banger AND a jam. triple threat)

34) Damage Gets Done (their voices are soooo beautiful together)

33) Be (“When Atlas acts the maggot” is one of Hozier’s best Irish culture lines)

32) The Jackboot Jump - Live (BUT THE JACKBOOT ONLY JUMPS DOWN ON PEOPLE STANDING UP!!!)

31) Shrike (this song made me cry when i first heard it and i am Not one to cry)

30) To Someone From a Warm Climate (Uiscefhuaraithe) (GAEILGE MENTION!!!!)

29) Jackie and Wilson (one of my first ever favourite hozier songs)

28) Talk (i love the myth of orpheus and eurydice and i ALSO imagine being loved by hozier)

27) Moment’s Silence (Common Tongue) (blowjobs)

26) Eat Your Young (hozier wrote this for all first year trinity students who had to read Swift for their intro to irish writing lectures)

25) All Things End (don’t be sad. we begin again :). hozier said so)

24) I, Carrion (Icarian) (soft, sad, beautiful. like hozier)

23) Nina Cried Power (feat. Mavis Staples) (also very overplayed in Ireland but this time it really deserved it!!)

22) Cherry Wine - Live (one of the most beautiful and recognisable guitar bits of all time. yes i said guitar bits i don’t know anything about guitars)

21) As It Was (the drug the dark the light the flame…)

20) First Time (“anyway”)

19) Who We Are (makes me feel like my chest is being lifted to god)

18) No Plan (“As Mack explained, there will be darkness again” is one of the all-time great Hozier lyrics actually)

17) Would That I (it’s illegal for anyone to dislike this song)

16) De Selby (Part 2) (he wants to run against the world that’s turning!! he moves so fast that he’d outpace the dawn!!)

15) De Selby (Part 1) (AN ENTIRE VERSE AS GAEILGE)

14) Like Real People Do (once again, how is this so low? hozier is too good. “we should just kiss like real people do” lyrics of all time)

13) Butchered Tongue (i wrote an entire essay post about this song. with citations)

12) From Eden (time has maybe made us forget just how fucking insanely good this song is. IDEALISM SITS IN PRISON CHIVALRY FELL ON HIS SWORD INNOCENCE DIED SCREAMING. also reminds me of verse 2 of Human by The Killers)

11) Work Song (WHEN MY TIME COMES AROUND LAY ME GENTLY IN THE COLD DARK EARTH. NO GRAVE CAN HOLD MY BODY DOWN. I’LL CRAWL HOME TO HER. also special mention for: “in the low lamp light i was free” aka the name of one of my criminal minds fanfics. moving on)

10) Run (SOOOOO underrated. literally rare is this love keep it covered! run to me run to me lover! run until you feel your lungs bleeding!)

9) Movement (i played this song every day on repeat for 2 months when i was 17)

8) Arsonist’s Lullabye (wario of better love. don’t ask me how or why)

7) In a Week (feat. Karen Cowley) (the most gorgeous beautiful song of all time their voices are perfect for each other - I’D BE HOME WITH YOU)

6) First Light (BUT AFTER THIS IM NEVER GONNA BE THE SAME!!! AND I AM NEVER GOING BACK AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!)

5) Francesca (AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. URGAAAHHHHHHHH. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I’D TELL THEM PUT ME BACK IN IT!!!!!! DARLING I WOULD DO IT AGAIN!!!!!! IF I COULD HOLD YOU FOR A MINUTE!!!!! DARLING I’D GO THROUGH IT AGAIN!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)

4) Unknown / Nth (DO YOU KNOWWWWW I COULD BREAK BENEATH THE WEIGHT OF THE GOODNESS LOVE I STILL CARRY FOR YOU!!!! he had no right to sing this. and as beautifully as he does. makes me cry. sha-la-la)

3) Abstract (Psychopomp) (this wasn’t originally my favourite when i first listened to Unreal Unearth has grown on my heart and will not let go. did you know the memory hurts but does me no harm. and did you SEE HOW IT SHINESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

2) Take Me To Church (this being his debut single. DEBUT. SINGLE. no one else was doing it like him. the vocals the lyrics god the beautiful lyrics the MUSIC VIDEO!!!! ireland’s best living artist.)

1) Foreigner’s God (my favourite song of all time. no notes. utterly perfect in every way.)

#hozier #these are my OPINIONS no one ARGUE WITH ME #this took me an hour and a half i’m very sleepy now #sorry for any spelling mistakes it’s 00:42

[sunflowerbloomss]

rambling abt the hozier album ok this is going to be long i'm listening to the whole thing and typing as i do. the transition from de selby pt 1 to pt 2 & the contrast in the beat of them while the themes are the same is wonderful and soooo well done, i actually have no idea how i only listened to one half of it till now lol. generally speaking de selby pt 2 is one of his best songs ever imo! 'before i heard it from your mouth my name would always hit my ears as such an awful sound' & 'to share the space with simple living things' well i am insane but apart from that first time feels like a very simple run into hell; falling in love, the terrible fate but seeing it as something beautiful anyway. reminds me of would that i. francesca's place in the order of the album is absolutely perfect - i didn't expect it to come up this early but it's like a reminder of the 'world above' so to speak. sure, it's about lust, but not just for a lover but also for a memory of the life that was lived. it's great as a single but within the context of the album this song can appear in all its glory and it's not something easy to do, take a song that work as a single and make it even stronger in the album. i, carrion is amazing as well, a sort of coming to terms with being in hell and just hoping to have some beloved company within it; it's not the falling into hell that matters, it's the not falling away from the lover. the transition to eat your young is soooooo good because i, carrion is as greedy as eat your young but you don't understand how they're two sides of the same coin till you listen to them. all that could've been said about eat your young has already been said but i will say once again the context of the album vs the single is insane in how it changes the meaning, a lot like francesca. i will say i don't like the instrumental part at the end of it but it could easily be just me lol. damage gets done well i will say i'm so glad it's a duet!! the desperation after the carelessness of eat your young, the choice of a duet when so many of the earlier songs are about loneliness is top tier. who we are well i love it but it is the weakest song on the album 2 me coming between two very strong songs - it's not bad but it either shouldn't be placed there or should have something more unique instrumentally for it to catch my ear the way the rest of the album does. and it's not a bad song!!! i feel like i have to mention it ok.

SON OF NYX RAMBLES NOW i have said it before & i will say it again this is the best song hozier has ever done and it's on a completely other level to all his other music. i want it to be a single i want it tattooed inside my ears every note is so well placed it's devastating and more than anything it shows just how much he grows as an artist; the hozier that did the debut album would not have been capable of creating something like this. the whole album has a lot of nods to the debut album but this one is so unapologetically wasteland baby that it feels almost out of place but it isn't because all things end is right there for it to lean on and take us back to the story. generally speaking i wasn't a big fan of all things end in the ep and singles because it felt more flat than the other songs (especially in the ep with through me & eat your young like helloooo) but it takes its rightful place in the album. after son of nyx's despair all things end is here to have a beautiful bit of almost hopeful nihilism. to someone from a warm climate first of all sexy hozier back at it again i missed it definitely & this song's place at the end of the album is sooo good it's a reminder of a far away beautiful world, almost like a siren calling to a sailor except it's hozier and well hell. butchered tongue is often compared to foreigner's god and well the themes are similar but i feel like this song is a lot like coming back home after living abroad in contrast to still living oppression like in foreigner's god. it's a very good song, i wish it had bass i think it would've been amazing with the cello and piano of it.

i'm obsessed with anything but because it's such a more tailored version of the first album's music and themes. i'm actually not a very big fan of the clapping i feel like after butchered tongue (seeing as its music is very gloomy) even upbeat songs need a way to be more gentle about it but well it can be just me. anyway the song is beautiful!! i love it. abstract HELLOOOOO i love it so much the confusion 'your hand in my pocket to keep us both warm' what if i jumped off a cliff and 'see how it changed' AH i love that song and actually i feel like it could even change place with unknown in the order of the songs but its position after anything but also shows the different faces of the instruments in this album - anything but is very minimal on the instrumental part compared to hozier's usual (not that it's a bad thing!!) and the chorus of abstract having these complex layers of instruments is doing wonders 2 my ear. unknown well i will be controversial and say it's a good song but i think people are being just a bit too crazy about it like hello if you're into angst and loneliness son of nyx is right there... it's a good song! and it belongs at the end of the album but i think abstract and first light are better and they sort of wash it out. it's good!!! but it's also between two other very good songs that touch on the same topic and have a stronger presence. i feel like with a cello lead instead of a guitar it could've been a bit better, now that i see how prominent the cello is in this album. and first light!!! beautiful ending to the album the harmonies at the beginning of it should feel out of place but they aren't. the hopeful note to it after a journey through hell, the strong vocals & the high guitar notes give a a beautiful end to the album. it feels like the opposite of the ending of wasteland baby - the final song of that album is the gentle closure where here the last song is the hopeful beginning. it's definitely the best album closure out of the three he's had and it reminds me soooo much of sunlight which is another nod to the second album that i love so so dearly... i was really skeptical when i saw unknown wasn't the last song on the album because it feels like an end but first light is a perfect note to end on.

overall. amazing album. it's definitely his best so far mainly because it draws so much from both the debut and wasteland baby. like ok wasteland baby is so different from the debut and i love them but they both have each its own line, and unreal unearth is not a mix of them but something born out of letting them simmer on the stove - it takes out the best features of both of them and still remains irrevocably hozier. i was worried he'd try to reinvent the sounds (i never doubted the lyrics would remain within the same themes he's always done) but this album is something so worth waiting years for. it's amazing what beautiful music artists make when they're not pressured to keep spitting it out half done and unpolished. like all album it has its weak spots and some things that i personally would've done differently but it's hozier's greatness is that he doesn't need to create the perfect music to make a concept album where every song is sat on a golden throne and it's all that matters at the end. i'm very sad through me didn't make it to the album but well it's hozier tradition to leave his second best song of every era only in the ep (nina cried power in the album & nfwmb in the ep, son of nyx in the album & through me in the ep, work song in the album & live of to be alone in the ep) so well i can't complain. all in all. amazing album. can't wait to see him live again now the whole thing is out!!!

#no one cares eli #hozier #well this was long. but i had to take this out of my system it's shabbat and the friend i talk to about hozier would only be back online #in like. 6 hours. so #hashtag music critic core

[the-acid-pear]

I hit post limit but I'm watching James and the Giant Peach anyway so what about we do it in the style of my Baki liveblogs?

Oh yeah baby this format is coming back. No pics will be taken which makes me sad! But alas...

I think it's worth mentioning i haven't watched this movie since i was a kid so i don't remember anything other than it having a nice vibe

THIS KID IS MADE OUT OF FLESH AND THESE PPL ARE BRITISH. WHADDAHELL...

I was joking w Blood about the family dying after the boat crashes but um. I guess the rhyno won? Whatever THAT means...

I want these aunts to sandwich me they could make me worse

JWDGWKDVJWDV THE FUCKING WARREN WASTELAND 💀💀💀 that's how england looks to me 😍/j

FUCK YEAH FEET REVEAL THESE WOMEN WERE MADE FOR ME‼️

OH IT WAS A REAL RHYNO? 💀

THEY ARE GONNA COOK HIM

The kid is singing. Anyway, that spider def poisonous 💀

This kiddo is depressing bruh

Sings like shit tho ngl

James doesn't know what a poisonous spider looks like but he sure knows how to make a perfect paper balloon first try 💀

Second degree murder 😁👍

THAT DUDE SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME LMAO

SIR YOU ARE A CERTIFIED FREAK

BLINK MOTHERFUCKER

Man is scaring me more than he's scaring James but that's only bc unlike this weird isolated British orphan i was taught about stranger danger

I think James is just having a psychotic breakdown because of all the physical and psychological abuse he has been thru /j

LMAO THIS KID IS A FAILURE

Spiker you are like 180 cm you could get it yourself 😐

The way this peach came to be is both hilarious and cute this tree is winning rn

This movie has extremely funny dialogue i love Spiker sm

THE FAKE ASS TEAR 😭😭😭

Pretty based of them to make the priest pay double NGL

The rhyno threats are fucked up but so goofy bc. It's a fucking rhyno 💀

Maybe they mean the guy from spiderman tho, i mean, they WERE going to New York after all...

Damn i cracked the code

Strong ass kid ate the worm 😨

HEY I REMEMBER THAT MANY HANDED BASTARD I HAD A CRUSH ON HIM OMFG... This feels like seeing an old ex 💀

God i adore these bugs sm they are so shape

This spider is so hot, even hotter than i remembered

KQGWKVDNSGER THIS GUY IS SUCH A JERK I LOVE HIM

Rhinnoceri... I need to fuck this cricket <- guy so horny he forgot the word

THE LADY BUG IS A MILF

Isn't it kinda... Racist, to call another bug a maggot?

This music goes hard

What about da worm........? 🥺

That worm is prob like would u still love me if i was a human?

"now i have two half brothers" 💀💀💀

Didn't realize the bugs were huge. Even MORE culeables!

Omg milves DIED

Nvm girlboss powah

Damn they're actually bleeding tho

THEY ARE IN DA SEA, THAT WORM IS GONNA DIE

Omg he wears glasses cuz he's a worm therefore blind that's so cute

The spider hates this centipede sm 💀

LTDJEHSDJ I'M SURE THEY DO CENTIPEDE

This movie is just a bunch of European immigrants falling for the American dream

EVERYONE HATES THIS CENTIPEDE SM LMAO

This is abuse of the disabled

KSHDJDJZHZKGXG WORM ILY

Sick ass shark ngl

Do you think earthworm and centipede ever explored each other's bodies?

This is animal abuse

Oh he's from Brooklyn that's cute 🥺

AT THE SPENCE OF HIS LIFE, JAMES. STOP TRYING TO DOWNPLAY HIS TRAUMA!!

Maybe they do have a point tho

THE CRICKET IS A GILF⁉️ :Y

Worm deadass said 🥵

I thought they knew but were carnivorous what a bunch of fucking idiots. Bet they are doing this only to make James feel better about himself...

Well Mr centipide that's bc you didn't taste this c-

Sorry.

These idiots are gonna eat da whole peach -_-

OH POODLES AS IN WATER NOT DOGS OK...

...OR MAYBE HE MEANT DOGS? ARE CRICKETS CARNIVOROUS???

These bitches r getting drunk 💀

We got peach'd

WORM IS FAT LMAO 🥺

Girlie they are all nice to you too, maybe tad bit obnoxious but not MEAN.

THIS KID IS THREATENING TO KILL HIMSELF 💀

This is one of the coolest dream scenes I've ever seen

I bet his parents are alive and just abandoned him /j

CRICKET JUST CALLED CENTIPIDE AND ASS

They made a fucking dick joke I'm. Gonna fucking die.

They are gonna fuckin kill my man

JAMES... BABY......

THE CRICKET GOING 😱 LMAO

CRICKET KICKED HIM IN THE FACE HOLY FUCK

Look i know he lied but these people have no fucking mercy... They are literally gonna make him and ME cry..... ...... ..

NO. THATS SO FUCKED UP THIS MOVIE IS SO FUCKED UP THIS MESSAGE IS SO FUCKED UP.

"he's commiting pesticide!" I'm gonna shit myself

LMAO HE ADMITTED IT WAS HIS FAULT good.

WORM BABY PLEASE WJDGJAVECEBF DONT SAY HELPED 💀💀💀💀💀

Ladybug just spanked spider, Kinky

Literally no hurry at all my man is just walking like it's an afternoon in the park

Lmao nice Jack cameo

They are gonna kill my man, again

HOLY FUCK THEY ARE ACTUALLY TRYING TO KILL HIM

"hey that one felt pretty good!" He gets it.

I love him for his American swag

KILLING HIM FR

OH THANK YOU LADY THANK YOU... 😭

MY KINGGFGGG ITXJFgsheaysrsudruddi 💥

Stop being homophobic worm let them kiss too

Aw worm got the hat kdjdthjf 🥺

SPIDER N LADYBUG ARE DOING LESBIANISM TOGETHER...

OMG HE'S A GRASSHOPPER NOT A CRICKET 😭😭

Too long of a name tho sticking to calling him cricket -_-

They are fucking

This grasshopper is fucking racist...

This movie is so lovely they are his family man... ;;

God Ms spider i think i hauve covid

This kid is definitely just dead on his yard hallucinating btw /j

THEY WON'T ALWAYS BE TOGETHER STOP B4 I CRY...

DA RHYNO NOOO......!!!!!!!!

ANYTHING BUT JERSEY WJCSJSFSHSF

I'M GONNA FUCKIN CRY Y'ALL

HIS FRIENDSSSSS 😭😭😭😭

This is so sad Alexa play Despacito

How did he lose the tie? 💀

EL LECHERO LMAO

Hang on, they weren't in England? They were in America? How did the aunts make it here in that beaten old car?

AH NVM THEY WENT THRU THE WATER LMAO

YEAH SAME JAMES NO SHIT

Before photoshop existed lol

THEY ARE GASLIGHTING THIS CHILD

HEY WHAT'S UP FREAKY OLD MAN!

Shut up James 💀

JAMES SNAPS!?

FUCK YEAH LITTLE BOY!!!

MURDER ATTEMPT 💀💀💀

Second degree murder 😁👍

OOOOHHHH?????

GQNWG KEGSJDVQNS YEAAAAHHHHHH LET'S FYCJING GOOOOO

SICK EM BOYS, RIGHT IN FROM OF THE CROWD 💀

PUBLIC EXECUTION LMAO

Wig

Those women are dying dudes ...

"god bless the colonies" glow-worm lady... 💀

"go ahead!" A hero of the people, communist icon

This movie is gonna make me happy cry look at my guys and James...

SICK ASS SEED

Best found family tale ever what a fucking win.

Well freaky little man you are kinda fine when not talking to little boys in the dark of night ngl

AJDVSNDVNDBR CENTIPIDE FOR PRESIDENT WOULD VOTE‼️

Oooojlhhlhndnbggvt WORM GETTING EM LADIES FUCK YEAH 🥴

God this is so pretty everyone is thriving and they are friends and it was all real and shit omfg 😭💞

The ending song is so good too... 🥺

OH POST CREDITS!!

Abuse revenge heaven 💀

WELL WASN'T THAT FUCKING LOVELY? MAYBE THE BRI ISH AINT SO BAD AFTER ALL... Time for some final thoughts! 😁💞

AAAAUAHGNGNMGBGMGNGNGH BROOOTHER WHEN I TELL YOU I LOVED THIS MOVIE... IT WAS SO FUCKING LOVELY.

I did not only love every single fucking character present here, but the designs and the music and the animation god, AND HELL THE HUMOR TOO!! Fucking caught me off guard more than once ngl, but it was great 💀💀

And of course, the thing i loved THE most is having a found family not be separated... :']]

I think this movie does a great job portraying abuse and trauma and PTSD in a very child friendly manner, the lessons it puts there are quite lovely tbh. I wish we could've seen more characters get developed tho!! The two who got the most relevancy and depth were grasshopper and centipide which tbh is ok bc i love them but a little lesson from all of the characters would've been nice too... 🥺

There's, however, a big elephant in the room that i gotta acknowledge, and that is the aunts. As y'all might have realized, my carnal desire for them surpasses my logical brain and makes me overlook the abuse they put James thru which quite honestly parallels my own real one.

I'm speaking w a British accent in my mind alright fucking cringe anyway, aside from the most obvious reason, that being my rampant lust and homosexual tendencies, i wish they hadn't tried to make the characters ugly = evil.

Like idk i think they were kinda bland! I couldn't take their villainous portrayal seriously when most of the time it was like "haha isn't it devious how ugly these old women are??" Like no i need them to ruin me.

I think I'm just a bit disoriented i think blood might not be coming to my head, y'all tell me if I'm making any sense...

Anyway, overall, is this movie good? OF THE BEST I'VE SEEN IN A WHILE if not for a bit of lost potential it would have been absolutely perfect!! And yesss, of course i recommend it!! It's such a fun time w such a rewarding end :'33 truly wonderful 🦗

#luly talks #james and the giant peach liveblog #i bet centipide's pussy game is crazy

[franki-lew-yo]

The Romantic (2009, R, Gothic Fantasy/Horror), aka the most forgotten animated film in the world

What if I told you there was a movie under serious threat of becoming lost media with no clear reason as to WHY it's been lost other than no one has apparently watched it besides me and a few people on Reddit? What if I told you that movie wasn't half bad and would no doubt have some interest peeked if anyone DID know about it?

The name of that movie is The Romantic.

It was released in 2009 and it's Rated R for nudity and sex scenes [insert Robbie Rotten meme here], though none of it too graphic. It was a pet project created by animator Michael P. Heneghan, originally starting as a flash project for his animation class before he expanded it into a feature film. The film was inspired by movies such as The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth, but what I see every time I look at it is a touch of Jhonen Vasquez, Tim Burton, and Roman Dirge- the guy behind Lenore the Cute Little Dead Girl. It's flash animation especially remind me of the puppet-rigged toons of the 2000s (again like Salad Fingers or Lenore). It's not bad, it's just not inherently 'feature film' quality flash, nor is it exceptionally artistic like Sita Sings the Blues in it's simplicity. Like, really, if you happen to find this thing it's not the worst animated project at all it's just amateur for a professional production. I've seen worse flash movies. Heck, if The Romantic were released in separate parts on youtube or Newgrounds as a series (ala Homestuck) I'm sure it would have been really successful and totally in it's element. But it wasn't.

Because next to no one has seen it and I'm lucky to have not only ever seen it when it was available for free but have also found it recently (hush hush, I ain't telling you how) I'm going to actually give you all a plot synopsis under the cut. There will be some details I leave out and I think I've spelled some characters names wrong. It's a bit of a surrealist film as well, so you might need some things explained.

Spoilers ahead:

The Romantic is set in an autumnal, surrealist world inhabited by humans and monsters and ruled by three gods; Po the goddess of love; Pik the god of Hate; and Pjorrc the god of time though Pjorrc was made to live inside a pumpkin moon as everything he touched rabidly aged and died.

((Tapestry art featuring the main three gods of the film.))

A young man (called “Romance” or “The Romantic” by the other characters) performs a bull sacrifice in order to summon Abbledepopa, the unseen creator of the other gods and ‘storyteller’ of the world. The sacrifice does not conjure Abbledepopa but, when Romance spares a monster that was ready to eat him, the monster tells him of a profit named Patience. Patience is a foul-mouthed dwarf living alone with an army of babies who points Romance in the direction of Po.

((Romance outside of Patience's house.))

Romance wants the god’s help because he has fallen out of love with his girlfriend. Po grants him his desire and restores his love only for Romance to return home and find his girlfriend with another man. Blinded by heartache and rage, Romance kills her. He then swears vengeance on the gods for ‘making’ him do it. In the midst of this vow, a corrupt prophet called Fat Daddy kills the queen of Vauxhaul (Romance's home) and her guards, and forges a new body for his newborn son with their bodies. Fat Daddy rallies the townsfolk behind him in supposedly finding the Queen’s murder into follow a new religion called "The Poetic End".

((Romance (right) besides the monster he spared at the beginning of the movie.))

Patience accompanies Romance on his quest and tells him to take Po’s mask, which hides her true face, once he kills her. Romance buys Po’s trust by weaving her a tapestry that tells her story: in the dawn of time Po and Pjorrc were in love. However, Pjorrc gradually became distant and Po became resentful when their daughter, Love, earned Po's original title as the god of romance and love.

In the present day, Romance sleeps with Po for over a year before finally killing her and taking her mask. He and Patience return to his home of Vauxhul only to be chased out by Fat Daddy’s personal army. They flee to Marshallton, the town nearest to the god Pik.

((Romance's hometown of Vauxhul. ))

The king of Marshallton, King Crookie, tells Romance of a prophecy he, Patience, Fat Daddy and all the gods are a part of and that the world is soon to change. Romance then fights and successfully kills Pik when he shows the god of hate his reflection in a mirror King Crookie gave him, but not before losing his hand to Pik.

When Romance comes down the mountain he learns from Patience that nine years have passed since his fight with Pik began. Patience reveals to Romance what Pik saw in the mirror that allowed Romance to take the killing blow; after Love had grown up and married, Po asked Pik to tell her where her husband was always running off to. Pik reluctantly revealed Pjorrc was disguising himself as a human and married a mortal woman. Po found Pjorrc and his pregnant second wife, forcing Pjorrc to leave his human family behind, but not before asking his wife to name their son “Patience”. In retaliation for his treachery, Po proceeded to sleep with fifty men and produce the fifty bastard children in Patience’s house.

((Fat Daddy, the main villain.))

Marshallton and the entire rest of the world has fallen to the rule of Fat Daddy, who captures Romance and Patience. Fat Daddy tortures Patience into telling him how to get to Pjorrc but is unable to convince Romance to take part in his ‘new world’ or give him Po’s mask. Romance and Patience escape and leave the village to be torn apart by the fifty babies Po had, now transformed into veracious monsters after Patience didn’t feed them for the past ten years. Romance confronts Patience when he realizes the latter is Pjorrc’s son. Patience calls Romance out on his mantra of vengeance and points out that all his decisions are his own, not the gods, and instructs him to seek Love herself in Po’s basement. Patience then attempts to confront Pjorrc but is cornered and killed by Fat Daddy before he can do so.

In Po’s basement, Romance finds Love nailed to a wall, her face torn off and half eaten by her deformed husband. Love tells Romance that Po ripped off her daughter’s face in rage over Pjorrc’s infidelity and Pjorrc did not intervene fast enough. Po then threw Love into her basement, turned Love’s husband into a monster, and wore her daughter’s face as a mask - which Romance had broken into pieces moments ago after Patience had shown him his face in King Crookie’s mirror. Romance then finds Pjorrc hanging himself. As he dies, Pjorrc tells Romance to take the hand Fat Daddy had cut off and sew it onto himself, which will in turn help Romance defeat Abbledepopa.

Romance traverses the wasteland and does not find Abbledepopa, but instead a golden loom. Having seen all the destruction he and others had caused, Romance sits upon the loom and accepts his fate as the new ‘storyteller’ of the world, as he begins weaving a new one...

---

I mentioned before the animation quality of the film and why maybe that caused people to overlook it. The only other thing I could complain about on a technical level with The Romantic is it's sound design. Some of the voices and music is a little too quiet and so all these key details I had to go through the film a few times to really piece together. But that leads me to the thing I like about this movie and I'm sure others would to: the lore.

It's very hard to create a new fantasy world w it's own customs, religions, history and rules out of the blue as any YA Harry Potter/Hunger Games ripoff book could tell you. The Romantic is so unique in how it handles the pantheon and culture of these three gods and their kin; really only four or five characters throughout the entire story aren't connected to the gods or prophecy in some way, as there's the main three gods, Abbeldepappa, and the prophets Patience, Love and Fat Daddy, who make up your main cast besides Romance. There's a lot that's intentionally left unexplained and other info that must be explained, like Pjorrc and Po's marriage and Romance's feelings towards the gods, if we want to understand the former. The movie is paced pretty well and knows when to follow up on what, it's just that again some of those animation and editting shortcomings might make it hard to understand...but I don't think THAT hard. Look, if someone can enjoy Starchaser: The Legend of Orin or even better surrealist world-building films ((Fantastic Planet comes to mind)), then I say there's no reason The Romantic wouldn't have a following. There's no other way I can articulate why and what doesn't work about the story except just to recommend you watch it yourselves, but before I get into that I want to talk themes...because I love the themes and tone of The Romantic.

I revisited The Romantic a week before I made myself watch Centaurworld and The Owl House for the first time...and what a week that was~! The Romantic has the vibe of those kinds of shows along with Adventure Time and Infinity Train ((so I hear, I haven't watched the latter)). It's surreal and you'll only marvel at 'woooah wut an acid trip' for so long before you get into the vibe of the universe. It also reminded me substantially of the Broadway musical Hadestown and not just because this movie is also a self-contained, somewhat self aware fable about the relationships between humans and gods - it's very raw in how the characters talk. It's very emotional and blunt in how kind and how cruel they can be, and it doesn't make excuses or really worships any one of them. Romance himself is the world's most likable Incel: he murders a woman he thought he needed to love and blames his emotions on the gods of those passions...except the gods AREN'T the manifestations of love, time, and hate - they simply dictate and oversee it in the lives of men. It's a dynamic I really like in religious works where Gods are powerful but not all knowing or puppet masters to everyone's design- they have morality too and there is only so much you can blame and get from them.

"You made your gods into excuses and your excuses into gods!"

-Patience. This here is a cool quote. I like this quote.

No matter what, The Romantic is not gonna be a film for everyone. We all have our tastes - I think I'm drawn to it and accepting because I've come to love these kind of worlds that used to keep me up at night - these trippy 70s inspired fantasy landscapes given a whole Avatar: The Last Airbender degree of worldbuilding and character worth. It also doesn't feel exploitive in it's violence, it's sexuality, it's grimmness - it doesn't feel like it's trying to hard or going over the top because it happens to be an adult animated film, something that I love in movies like 9 or Hair High but really turns me off in stuff like Sausage Party or Wizards. Whatever go watch The Romantic...

if you can.

-----

When I first saw this film in 2016 it was actually very accessible and was even uploaded to youtube by the creator himself. I don't know WHAT happened to Michael P. Heneghan, but simply put, the man's disappeared...like...REALLY disappeared.

Lookit his IMDB. He has The Romantic and a wapping two other projects to his name. His Twitter isn't very helpful either. He last updated in early 2020 and he says next to nothing about The Romantic. It's so odd that he would one day be happy with the film enough to host it on Vimeo and Youtube but then just cop out.

According to a Reddit user: "On Valentines Day 2011, Heneghan released the film for free online through all kinds of platforms including direct download, bittorrent, Vimeo, and even directly through Archive.org. He even joked about releasing a 300 gig uncompressed version.

I know I watched it on Vimeo probably as recently as 2016. Now I can't find it anywhere. The website is dead, the Vimeo video went private, even the archive.org version has been taken down. It really looks like he wanted to wipe it off the face of the internet. His newer website mentions it, but again, the Vimeo link is dead and even that website is closed for business."

It's weeeird. What happened Michael?

And yes, obviously, other people worked on the movie.

No - I can't find out anything about them either.

I'm betting on three theories at the moment: 1) this film is an SCP or some Candle Cove weirdness with only me and a handful of people ANYWHERE remembering it, 2) something weird is going on w Michael Heneghan and it involves too something about this film. It was a scam or a scheme or a hidden agenda weirdness, 3) Heneghan's doing okay he just doesn't like this film anymore and wants it hidden while he takes a break.

Look, I get it Michael! What was once our life's worth can become cringe as you improve as an artist - you're not the person making the stuff you were ten years ago...but you should still have the film kept alive somehow. Someway.

I'm seriously the only person to have ever made fan art of this movie on the internet. That just doesn't happen, and I don't think I like being in a fandom of one. The Romantic is a testament to the power of design and storytelling > animation quality itself. Too often I see people equate good animation with smooth animation, with a budget with squash and stretch. These animations are good but art is diverse and there's so many kinds of films out there, the value of the medium can't just be in one style/form. There's a lot of honestly wonderful pieces of art out there if you know where to look and you're willing to see where it leads you.

Don't let The Romantic be the most forgotten movie of all time. Reblog this post. Show it to your friends. PM the animation community reviewer people like Saberspark and someone who isn't Saberspark and smuggle them a copy.

Keep telling the story...

#Franki's Features #The Romantic #The Romantic Michael Heneghan #The Romantic 2009 #animation #animation community #underrated animation #lost media #horror animation

[gottawriteanegoortwo]

Wilford Warfstache - A Personification of Death

Inspired by my obsession with the Hades game, I found myself watching William’s story in the WKM series in a different light. An idea crossed my mind - what if he was somehow connected to Thanatos, the Greek personification of death? This is my attempt to come up with a tale about it, complete with some cheesiness that would work in the context of a myth.

TW  war (story discussion about William’s time in the war), death (discussed frequently), alcohol (mentioned in passing, but alludes briefly to using it to ‘help’)

Word Count: 4,242 (hence the much needed read-more. Enjoy the wall of text!)

-

In modern times, there are often tales of gods who parent children and abandon them to fend for themselves without the support of influential or important figures to help provide guidance for the young demi-god who is thrust into unfamiliar territory.

This isn’t a tale quite like that, for the ‘father’ never realised until it was too late to reach out. Otherwise, Thanatos would have been there all the way. Who can naturally embrace death when it becomes so normal in their life? But worse, how can one expect to approach a mother when she had never met him? Now, don’t take that the wrong way. Thanatos would never consider doing something immoral with any human. Thantao’s ‘parenthood’ is wholly indirect.

-

An ill man had died in his sleep, and Thanatos knew he was the one to collect the soul and bring it safely to the Underworld. The soul rose in the form of a pale blue wisp and drifted toward the figure cloaked in black in the search for comfort. At that, the door was opened by a young lady in the first trimester of pregnancy, the man’s sister. Though she could not see them, she locked eyes with Thanatos before he disappeared into smoke. However, a single black feather had come loose and fluttered to rest beside the man’s head, allowing it to become visible to the mortal eye. The lady, taking this as a sign that her brother was still with them even in death, kept the feather.

It was woven into a necklace she wore every day. It brought a sense of peace she didn’t understand, but could explain as her brother keeping her company like he promised. But it had a second effect. The magic imbued within the feather began affecting the baby she was carrying, giving him a divine connection that would otherwise never have existed.

When William J. Barnum was born, any onlooker would assume his only connection to death was simply through him being named after his deceased uncle. But to anyone who could sense the extraordinary, they would gather the clues and notice a pattern.

As a child, William was drawn to death. He would find abandoned, injured animals in gardens and parks and keep them company until they passed. He held a quiet curiosity about the topic, often asking about it when it appeared in childhood storybooks, questioning why adults were so keen to avoid talking about it. For him, it was something he found comfort in. When others were grieving, William was able to reassure them that no matter what, their loved one was okay. Like Thanatos, the one who gave him this mysterious connection to death, William’s energy was gentle like light ripples in the calm lake. He helped those that were dying accept their fate and face it feeling at ease, and provided a foundation for those left behind to feel comfort despite their grief. Death was no monster, he believed. It would never actively take lives for fun. Perhaps that was what drew him to Celine and Damien when they were children. Their family connection to witchcraft and communication with the dead (even if it was something neither twin touched on) was something that gave William a sense of familiarity, if one were to look beyond the surface. 

As a teenager, this interest in death stayed. He had asked around and had managed to secure an apprenticeship with a local undertaker when he finished school. He was a natural. His calm, methodical approach was grounding when those around him were hurting. His voice was always low and polite, and he even offered hugs to those who needed reassurance. The only thing that stopped him was the war. He hadn’t fully qualified, but he knew he needed to help his country and protect those he cared about. Though he was barely an adult, William enlisted and promised his friends that he would be the only one of the four to have direct involvement with the war.

When there, he was faced with more death than he had ever seen, and how it made his stomach turn. It was loud. Invasive. Impersonal. It drove him to work harder, do everything he could to keep the soldiers he fought with safe. He learned tactics, organised routines, found ways to help keep morale boosted, argued with superiors over their poor opinions in seeing troops as ‘disposable’. It was no surprise that he became one of the youngest Colonels in modern history. He showed wisdom beyond his ages, and a keen sense of observation. He could bring a sense of calm when his men were stressed with the constant reminders of death and pain, and some would later go on to write in diaries and memoirs how William was able to help badly injured soldiers embrace death and pass in a more peaceful state of mind than they might have otherwise. But with others, he would will them on, encourage them to fight and win, and they would.

One winter’s day, when there was an ‘up and over’ order given, William and his troops were keeping the enemies at bay and refusing to lose ground. Something caught his attention, or rather, someone. A man dressed in shining armour and wearing a helmet with a plume of red feathers raised a sword high into the air, which coincided with a sudden rise in violence and bloodthirsty behaviour from the soldiers. Only William seemed to be immune to this, instead briefly distracted by the unusual sight. The man in armour turned his head, and the pair locked eyes. Even with the distance between them, William could see the look of realisation on the stranger’s face before he disappeared into thin air.

In the weeks that followed, rumours began circulating of seeing a man walking along the barren wasteland between the warring trenches late at night. Those that claimed to see him described him as wearing a long black cloak that matched the large wings sprouting from his back. The man appeared to be searching for something, but didn’t seem to notice any onlookers. If the rumour was passed to others, they would discover a trail of red poppies in the area the cloaked figure was spotted, and sometimes a black feather would be found. Troops believed it was the Grim Reaper himself coming to inspect the damage when the dust settled, but William felt it was something more. Was he connected to the armoured soldier William saw? Not only that, the black feathers resembled the one that was woven into William’s necklace (but felt colder, somehow). Unfortunately, he never caught a glimpse of the supposed Grim Reaper.

---

The Colonel earned his reputation of becoming rather eccentric, and it was put under the simple explanation of “war”. But it was more than that. It was being surrounded by a type of death that was foreign to him. He was the unknowing son of the being associated with peaceful death. Despite his best efforts to keep some sort of calmness, the sheer chaos of it all was too much for him. The sudden, violent losses were heavy and weighed down on his heart. It was suffocating. He should have been able to do more. He should have been able to help them. He managed to get his men home with no one dying for the final six months of the war, but it wasn’t enough.

He tried to resume his apprenticeship after the war, but both he and the undertaker agreed he needed a break from death and to learn to appreciate life again. It was both a good and a bad solution. Good in that it helped him recover from whatever injuries - physical and emotional - he endured in his years away.

Bad in that it gave him too much time to think when he wasn’t in the barracks.

He grew up surrounded by death. Excluding the war, he had witnessed far more death than someone his age should have, when his fairly quiet and untroubled upbringing was taken into account. In a way, it almost followed him, or did he follow it? Was he cursed? Death brought about loss, and he had experienced a lot of that in his fairly short life.

All this only encouraged William to embrace the here and now. Life was short, why waste a moment of it? Life needed some madness, otherwise you would regret it when you found yourself lying on your deathbed. Beyond his childhood friends, he kept a distance from everyone else. If he was cursed with death because of the war, he would run the risk of someone dying because they got to know him.

Alcohol helped. For little periods of time, he was able to not think about whatever was plaguing him and enjoy life like he used to. But he had to be careful. William didn’t need to look far to see what a mess a man could become if he relied on alcohol as his only source of joy. No, that was eventually found in Celine… And we know how the story goes.

---

Mark died by William’s hand in a round of Russian Roulette, but the Colonel couldn’t find it in himself to care. The two who were once as close as brothers barely acknowledged the other without an argument breaking out. One of them would have died that night. There was regret in what was done, but William was never one to mourn openly like Damien did. Perhaps that was why they argued in the theatre. It had been years since they both knew someone who had died. Had Damien forgotten that William didn’t cry or openly mourn? Had William neglected to consider that a sudden death would shake the gentle mayor to his core? Words were snapped, and William made the decision to avoid Damien until it was all over.

As the day dragged on, William decided to join in on the ‘game’ that seemed to play out before him. Pulling the Mayor’s friend outside to give an indirect confession, firing his gun indoors to deliberately wind up the detective… Trusting Celine.

When Celine arrived, he didn’t know it would be the start of a chain reaction that resulted in him losing everything. Celine and Damien disappeared. No body, no sign of life. That was the first time since the war that he felt true heartbreak. He had promised to protect them both, and he failed. He didn’t care that the detective was shot, but the poor district attorney should never have been wrapped up in the mess. They never deserved such a horrid death.

It was why William was by their side all night. He spoke gently to them, hoping that they would be alright until he felt the pulse in their wrist die out and their hand freeze. They were the only truly innocent soul in all of this, even he knew that. But what could he do about it now? Everyone that stayed was dead, except for him. Once again, he was surrounded by death, and yet escaped. No matter what he did, the cold hand of the Grim Reaper never reached for him… Unless it was because he was hidden, cloaked under the protection of the black feather necklace. It held a feather found upon death. It might be hiding him from the death he might deserve. He unclipped it and carefully placed it around the attorney’s broken neck. Maybe it would give them guidance to a peaceful afterlife.

Imagine his horror when instead, they rose to their feet as morning broke.

This was no homo necrosis, nor the more intelligent variant homo sapien zombifius. They were alive, right before his eyes! They struggled to rise to their feet and looked around, confused as though they were merely hungover. Their head turned effortlessly to take in the surroundings. That neck was definitely injured, William had checked it! But as he watched, he found the attorney being someone he knew and a complete stranger at the same time, like their face didn’t entirely belong to them. He didn’t dwell on it. In panic, fear, desperation, William clung to the extreme idea that maybe, just maybe, Damien and Celine were still alive. He’d pretend it was a joke, he’d slap them on the back and congratulate them for giving him quite a fright and getting even after all the pranks he himself pulled over the years. Just let them be alive and okay!

No matter how hard he searched, no matter how loud he shouted, neither twin appeared, Never would they come out of hiding. But it was okay! William was okay! Let bygones be bygones. They could all still be friends. He’d forget about this elaborate death prank. 

...

It turned out that it wasn’t the only thing he forgot, but I’m sure you know about that already. This isn’t a story documenting the gradual descent to madness: the alias hopping, the loss of original identity; but rather one about death.

---

Perhaps now is a good time to reveal an important piece of information - death is represented by many beings, not just Thanatos. Many cultures depict an individual who bears the important task of guiding the living to an afterlife. These are all true, but there are more. In recent times, as the population globally has grown, so too has the demand. In America, where William grew up, there is what can be considered a ‘family’ of death. With guidance from Santa Muerte, younger figures from all walks of life with a common link with various aspects of death were found as humans and nurtured to allow their abilities to guide flourish in the Americas. It was only as they noticed a bottleneck of death in a city suburb in North America did they discover that they had a brother whose presence was so gentle, he slipped through the cracks. All it took was the discovery of a discarded necklace outside a derelict manor for Santa Muerte to recognise where the lost child of the family went, and which personification of death gave them their powers.

Thanatos was there within the hour. The moment the black feather necklace was placed in his hand, he could feel the comforting energy that was like his, but was so distinctly not. 

“His name was William,” Thanatos murmured, closing his eyes to let the energy tell him the story of the human who became a kin of death. “He was the personification of the acceptance of death. If war had not broken out earlier in the century, he would have lived a humble life as an undertaker who would bring comfort and calm to those dying.”

“ ‘Was’?” one of the younger deaths repeated in a whisper. Thanatos nodded.

“He died, in a way. Without guidance, the war made him think it was a curse that death followed him.” Some of the younger beings nodded in sympathy. They knew how it felt when they were alone. “Something happened and… he cracked. I need to go to him.”

The plan was simple. Thanatos would be accompanied by several younger entities, but only he would enter. The rest would reclaim the souls that were trapped inside. The facade of the building was a disco, but it could be a trap. If there was a bottleneck where souls of the deceased were unable to pass, it could only mean bad news. William could have turned into an angry, vengeful representation of death, using the souls to fuel his power and cause unknown chaos. For the safety of the humans living in the area, William needed to be dealt with, and his ‘father in death’ was the only one who might be able to calm him down. Thanatos took a slow breath to brace himself, let his wings briefly disappear, and entered the disco.

---

A hand shielded his eyes to allow them time to adjust to the brightness. Slowly, Thanatos lowered it as he examined his surroundings. There was no mania, no anger. It was precisely as it seemed to be - a disco. The mood was jovial as the crowds danced. They were completely lost in the music, and Thanatos had to wonder how long some of them had danced for. As he made his way through the crowd, he noticed a clock over the bar. It worked, but the minute hand never moved when the seconds hand completed its cycle. Were they caught in a solitary moment in time? It would explain how the dancers never stopped for a breather. The song reached the big finale and finished with a spectacle. Thanatos lifted a hand and waved it in the direction of the band. To his relief, the members exchanged looks and decided that yes, a break was needed. They put their instruments down and hopped off the stage. As they did, the dancers began to follow. Thanatos stepped back to try and find the one person who didn’t react to the mob mentality of walking out. Sure enough, he spotted William. In the far corner, he had been finishing a chat with a still-living man in a black leather jacket. Even from here, Thanatos could sense the death clinging on him. Unlike William, the other’s presence of death was latched on the man. He was a soul that was cursed with witnessing the deaths of loved ones over and over. What being decided to leave such a foul mark on that man or his family? It was not something Thanatos could help with, but maybe one of the younger beings might be able to help that poor, tormented soul.

The host of the party turned, blinking in confusion to see someone still there. He said something to the other man, who nodded and made his way out.

"Thought ya woulda gone outside with everyone else," he gestured to the entrance, hand holding a martini glass that wasn't there seconds earlier. Thanatos shook his head.

"I was actually hoping to talk to you. I found -"

"Y'know, I don't think I've seen ya before. New ta th' disco, eh? I'll never miss a chance ta talk ta someone new. Wilford Motherloving Warfstache, a pleasure ta meetcha!" A free hand was boldly offered to Thanatos. Confused, he shook it.

"Wait… Wilford? But I thought your name was -" Thanatos was interrupted again, this time by Wilford tutting and pressing a finger against the other's lips.

"Ya got talkin' ta that detective, yeah? He knows me by a lotta names. But I like Wilford the best." He took a sip from his glass, an act that was interrupted by Thanatos dangling the necklace in the air. "Where'd ya get that?"

"I found it on my way in. Does it belong to you?" Wilford nodded, only to shake his head. Then, after a moment, his face scrunched up in confusion.

"I… I wanna say I've never seen it, but I feel like I’ve been reunited with somethin' precious…" Slowly, Wilford reached out to take the necklace into his own hand. Thanatos noticed how recognition lit up Wilford's face the moment he touched it. 

"This is mine. Had it as long as I could remember. I think it was passed down ta me. Can't say fer sure, memories have been a bit funny fer me." His thumb gently brushed against the feather as his eyes lifted to the stranger. Something clicked, and he froze for several long seconds.

"This… this feather is yers, ain't it? Who are ya? What's going on?"

"I am Thanatos, one of the personifications of Death." A hand was placed on his chest to give a half-bow to Wilford. "And I believe you are one as well."

A silence fell on the pair. Wilford stared blankly at his drink, swirling it around for several seconds.

"Someone spiked my drink," he eventually grumbled, putting the glass on the stage. "I'm hearin' things. Death isn't real."

"It's as real as the necklace you hold."

"Ya don't understand. Of course ya don't. People don't stay dead. They get knocked out fer a while an' then they wake again." He raised the necklace to eye level, gears slowly turning in his foggy mind. "I've seen people die an' get right back up after a few hours. I've spoken ta people who oughta be dead. I've shot people, an' they come back ta find me, like Abe!" All the while, Thanatos was silent. It might have sounded like the ramblings of a madman to deny such a certainty exists, but every word was grounded with experience, with personal fact. "I'm sure yer tryin' ta be nice but… I don't believe in death. Not anymore."

"Then how did you know the feather was mine?"

"I can see yer wings."

"My wings are currently invisible to all but those who are Death."

"Bullshit."

"I've never been here before, so why did no one else stop to ask me about my wings?"

"Ya really think that's gonna bother anyone?"

"I was caught in the middle of a crowd packed together, and not one complained about wings being in the way." Thanatos rolled his shoulders, allowing the black wings spread to their full span before folding in neatly. "Even like this, they would be in the way of a crowd."

"But -"

"Wilford." Thanatos cut through whatever ramble Wilford attempted to start. "How long have you kept these people here for?" Wilford's eyes widened, before his head lowered in guilt.

"They were sufferin' with their problems an’ their struggles. I brought 'em in here so they could be happy. None of 'em deserved this." Wilford gestured around them. "It ain't much, but here, they can be happy, they can have fun. Nothin' hurts here. What's wrong with that?" Thanatos sighed at the innocent question, muttering something about 'another Dionysus' under his breath.

"You might not believe in death… but they do. We aren't supposed to play with lives like they are toys. We help guide them to their afterlife."

"Whoa whoa, time out fer a sec!" Wilford make a 'T' with his hands. "What's all this 'we' talk? I'm just a guy who runs a disco."

"Like I said, you're a personification of Death, just like I am. You've lost your way."

"I think I'd remember bein' some sorta skeletal guy with a scythe, thanks very much." A pause. "Do I have a scythe? That'd be cool ta swing an'-"

"You don't have a scythe. Your role is to help others find death -"

"Which I don't believe in."

"- to help them accept it. That's what you used to do. Do you remember wanting to be an undertaker?" The question hung in the air for several seconds, allowing Thanatos to realise that Wilford wasn't kidding when he said his memory was poor. "You're a good man, Wilford. Have you helped someone who might have been, say, confused lately?"

Wilford turned his head to the entrance. "Abe." One word, one name.

"And what was wrong?"

"He… he was lost in a moment. Hunting me for so long for something I did… He thinks he knows everything, but it fell apart the moment I asked questions that went just below the surface." Lost in thought, his accent sharpened to something more dignified. "No one can survive a bullet to the chest. But he did. But the others -" With wide eyes, Wilford looked back at Thanatos. "They're dead. All of them. I only wanted to help them be happy and have fun. That's not wrong, is it? Am I in trouble?"

"You're not in trouble. You didn't know. But now, they can be brought to the afterlife that suits their upbringing and beliefs - Wilford!" Thanatos hurried after Wilford, who had bolted to the entrance without warning.

-

"Abe!!" 

The cry echoed in the empty car lot. Wilford was alone. He slumped on the top step, pulling his knees to his chest like a child. Not even the cold hand of Thanatos stirred him.

"Abe… Was that the man you spoke to?" Thanatos asked. Wilford nodded into his knees. "I don't know where he is now, but he is still alive. Close your eyes and hold the necklace tight. Can you sense him?" There was a slight shuffle as Wilford followed the instructions. A noise that could have been a content sigh or a relieved sob escaped.

"He's okay…"

"He needs time to heal. I know your paths will cross again one day, but you can't stay here waiting for him. Let's bring you somewhere where you can get a warm drink and a change of clothes. What do you say?"

Wiford has always been one to go with the flow of whatever might be happening at the time. This wouldn't be any different. 

"So how does this work? Me bein' some sorta Death, but not believin' in death, an' even killin' some folks?" Thanatos gave a soft smile as he sat beside Wilford.

"Have you considered that you might be the side of death that gives the recently deceased extra time to process their own death before they are collected?"

"But can Death kill people?"

"No, no they shouldn't," Thanatos chuckled. “But we can work on that problem in time.”

A silence fell as the pair sat on the steps. There was a long road ahead of them. Thanatos knew that Wilford would never be ‘okay’, but Wilford wouldn’t be alone with this. Not anymore.

#writersofmark #wilford warfstache #who killed markiplier #wilford motherloving warfstache #william j barnum #Rose Petals (Wilford)

[for-a-muse-of-fire]

and flew like a moth to you

the wench and the witcher

“and flew like a moth to you”

Fandom: The Witcher (2019)

Pairing: Geralt of Riva x Fem!POC Reader

Summary: Geralt interrupts you at prayer and finds his own idolatry.

Warnings: NSFW/18+ ONLY - very brief mention of intercourse, some swearing.

A/N: I’m soft for Geralt and there’s nothing to be done about it. Sorry/not sorry. Title and lyrics below the cut taken from Hozier’s “Sunlight” off of the Wasteland, Baby! album and I’ve realized that I honestly cannot choose a favorite song from that album, but “Sunlight” is real close.

@coconutxraikage ; @kingniazx ; @onyour-right ; @c-s-stars ; @kianya-loves ; @gczanetti1 ; @alwaysnatz ; @ly--canthrope

But whose heart would not take flight? Betray the moon as acolyte On first and fierce affirming sight Of sunlight, sunlight, sunlight 

It’s the scent that pulls him from the blessed stillness of sleep. Sweet, smoky, musky… incense? Geralt inhales slowly as wakefulness creeps in. The sun slants over his face and makes him squeeze his eyelids against the piercing brightness. He grumbles about it and rolls over, frowning when he finds the space beside him on the bed is empty. The vague disappointment is enough to force him to open his eyes, but when he blinks his vision clear, he finds an enchanting sight for his troubles.

 Your hair is a mess. An utterly riotous tumble of curls, it falls over your back and down one smooth shoulder. The white of your slip fairly glows against the rich brown of your skin. You’re kneeling, strong legs tucked under your backside and hands resting lightly on your thighs. He sees blue-grey smoke filtering around your head and cranes his neck – the small cabinet in front of you is open, revealing a small altar. It holds a few items that he can’t quite place, some almost-shapeless clay figures, along with a point of cloudy crystal and a small brass censer.

 You whisper – pray. It’s low and soft, a language that he’s not altogether versed in, but he can pick out a few words: ‘Mother’, ‘protect and keep’. His name slips over your lips, as well, and it warms something inside of him. He’s content to watch you for a few more moments, admiring the way the incense smoke halos its way around your head before he speaks at last:

 “Hearth witch.”

 He grins when you huff, somewhere between irritated and amused. You touch your fingertips to your lips, then to one of the figures on your altar – the one with a more feminine curvature to its shape. The incense in its brass holder is crushed out to stop its smoldering. “Witches have magic, I have none,” you grouse at him. You turn to glare, as well, but Geralt catches the smile behind your eyes. “And you said I would have been able to sense the... what did you call it?”

 “Chaos.”

 “Aye,” you smirk and stand, closing your altar away as you continue. “The chaos. I’m not a conduit, my mother was not a conduit. We never had power just… belief.” 

He raises an eyebrow when you turn to look at him. You squint back.

“Oh, shut up,” you growl. “Don’t look at me like that, it’s not that odd. She believed that there are things in this world beyond explanation; things that are meant to be respected and revered…”

 Geralt watches your expression go soft. The smile on your face is fond, but sad. He feels a pang of something akin to jealousy and the memory of flame-red hair flashes through his mind for one slow heartbeat before he can shove it aside. “You were close to her, your mother,” he observes and sits up in bed. The wood floor is cool under his bare feet.

 You nod. “Yes. She taught me everything. Taught me how to cook.”

 Geralt smirks. “Gods be praised for that.”

 “Blasphemer,” you gasp in mock indignation and can’t keep the act up for more than a moment before you laugh. Geralt lets himself grin, studies you in your mirth until you meet his gaze again.

“Do witchers hold any beliefs?” you ask.

 He snorts. “Sure. If I can see it, and spend it, then it’s real.”

 You roll your eyes at him in that way that he finds oddly endearing. Your bare feet whisper across the floorboards as you move closer and you’re needling him with more questions, but then you step into a gold-toned shaft of early morning sunshine that sparks over your hair. You are suddenly bright, and warm, and vital before him and Geralt’s mouth goes dry in a most unexpected way.

 “Hold on,” he murmurs.

 “What? What is it?”

 “Just… stay there a moment.”

 The sun turns you to a statue of bronze and gold. He stares, because he can, because your skin looks flawlessly smooth and your hair is dark and soft, and wild about your face. The outline of your body is visible through the thin white cotton covering it, from the enticing swell of your hips to the curve of your breasts. Dust motes swirl their way around you, coupling with the last of the fragrant incense as the smoke dissipates. Geralt drinks in the gilded, soft-focus sight of you and thinks, maybe, he could understand the concept of reverence.

 You fidget and whisper, “What?”

 He locks his gaze on yours. Shot through with the light, your eyes look to him like polished amber and it makes his chest go tight. Your soft, nervous laughter finally breaks the spell and the witcher gives his head a shake before holding out a hand to you. “I’m sorry,” he mutters. “You were asking me questions.”

 You take his hand and crawl into his lap. He gives a low rumble of pleasure when your legs bracket his hips and he lets his hands spread over your back to keep you close. His nose pushes through the soft mass of your hair and he inhales slowly; the smokiness of the incense lingers, mixes with the honey-sweet smell of your skin. He brushes his lips over your shoulder and shiver that runs through you makes him grin.

 “I just…” you trail off on a sigh as he begins laying kisses along your collarbone. “Is there nothing you worship?”

 Geralt smirks against your skin. “Officially? No. Unofficially…”

 He lifts his head to kiss you. Slides his hands under the cotton of your shift to lift it over your head and toss it aside; presses his fingers into the soft give of your flesh, shudders when your fingernails scratch gently over the nape of his neck. You sigh into his mouth. 

When he lays you down, sheathes himself inside of you, he chants your name in return. Your arch for him, gasp for him, naked and glowing and so fucking glorious. He whispers praises against your shoulder when he comes.

 It’s probably as close to prayer as he’ll ever get.

#geralt of rivia #geralt x reader #geralt x you #geralt x woc reader #the witcher netflix #geralt x poc!reader #the wench and the witcher #fanfic #fanficiton #tutu scribbles

[libralita]

Rhythm of War Chapter 12

Cry count: 4

Idk if this a good idea Navani

Fuck it’s not a Venli chapter

Fuck it’s depressing. LEAVE ME ALONE BRANDON STOP MAKING ME SAD

Oh thank god for Adolin

Syl knows what to do

We’ll just make the Cry Count: 3

“I needed someone you couldn’t intimidate,” she replied. “That list at best includes three people. And the queen was likely to transform you into a crystal goblet or something.”

Syl, I hope you aren’t joking because she would. Also interesting that Syl did not go for like Hesina. I wonder if they’ll be involved in his depression

Jasnah is strangely not being mentioned a lot. It feels…odd. I’m curious as to why. It feels suspicious.

Jez’s Duty

I find this funny for some reason. Is it purely because it says duty?

Kaladin not you too

“It must be nice, Kaladin thought, to be able to retreat and become someone else when you get tired.”

N O

Radiant is blonde now. RIP fan art. Also it would have been…not hilarious but interesting to hear that discussion. Imagine if Shallan had offered to change her hair. That would have been bad.

““Still. Don’t discuss military secrets in public.””

Thank. You. Kaladin.

It’s not even a Shallan chapter and I’m so stressed about her. HELP.

“The barmaid gave him a radiant smile”

I’m pretty sure we didn’t get “radiant smiles” before because they would be a bit of an insult lol.

“Syl used to think human children came out through the nose in a particularly violent sneeze,”

What.

““Mmm,” their table said, vibrating with a soft buzzing sound. “How do they come out? I’ve always wondered.””

NO

““I’ll explain babies later, Pattern,” Veil said. “It’s more complicated than you’re probably imagining. Wait… no. Ask Shallan to explain. She’ll love that.””

WILL SHE????

You two are not helping this.

Also *glances at Laral* *pattern noises*

“Think of all the tall-person topics of conversation we could engage in. Like… Hmm…”

I feel this Kaladin

This is the first time I’ve ever gone “yes, this was written by a man”. Because I don’t think short women particularly care if a man is taller than her, even by a lot.

“And things like nahn and rank had been… strangely less divisive this last year, under Jasnah’s rule.”

Interesting.

Daknah…her name is Daknah. That’s a little silly. Sounds like an 80s cartoon supervillain.

“She loves talking strategy—she’s acted as scribe in his war meetings since she was fourteen. I can introduce you.”

Aw, she sounds cute.

Oh yeah, I remember Jor! I thought he was Demoux in the last book.

“How do you get better?”

*squeezes eyes shut* oh Adolin

“Dalinar killed Adolin’s mother, Kaladin thought.”

FUCK EVERYONE KNOWS?! Dalinar, you wrote it in your book. Holy shit. You utter dumbass. You cannot just TELL YOUR FAMILY THAT WITH A DRAFT OF YOUR BOOK.

“Besides. If we can find a way to help you, then maybe… maybe we can find a way to help her.”

OH THANK THE HEAVENS ABOVE ADOLIN IS THINKING STRAIGHT

““She’s fine,” Kaladin said. “She’s found a balance. You’ve heard her explain how she thinks she’s fine now.””

And this is why Kaladin and Shallan won’t make for a good couple.

“Wit might know some way to help too. He seems to know about all kinds of things like this.”

WIT! Also is Hoid Jasnah’s Wit?

“Adolin smirked. This hadn’t just been about Shallan. Damnation. Had he let Adolin outsmart him? Maybe he should get something stronger to drink.”

Heheheheeheheheeheheheheh oh I love Adolin

““It’s that sword of yours,” Kaladin said. “Shardbearers do better if they drop any old Shards. You need to get rid of yours.””

KALADIN STORMBLESSED HOW DARE YOU

“Syl returned to proclaim she wanted to take up gambling.”

Oh…Oh no.

“Was the place a frigid wasteland or a lush and warm paradise?”

Probably both due to the Shardpool

“That? Is not fighting. Is exterminating. Even cook can kill rat he finds in his grain.”

Hell yeah.

CRY COUNT FOUR LEAVE ME ALONE

“There is one who lives here. One afah’liki. He is powerful god, but tricky. You should not have lost his flute.”

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Oh how little you know Kaladin

Anyway endless suffering.

#rhythm of war #row #row spoilers #rhythm of war spoilers

[khtrnaak]

ehehe i was tagged by claire ( @gaycinema ) to use the above website to pick out my top 14 albums!! this was rly hard to do lmfao because honestly i just be listening to the same song all day every day,,,,,, but i finally got my top 14!! in no particular order:

wasteland, baby! by hozier - my KING of kings...... i love andrew w all my heart and soul and body and his VOICE is so rich and beautiful and his lyrics r so. Chefs Kiss. thank u i love u always hozier

shanti by raveena - god i love raveena w ALL my heart!! a fellow queer brown baby!! her music is so soft and sweet and gentle and always reminds me of my first ever trip to the east coast !!!! her music always reminds me of a rainy day in new york im SO in love

sawayama by rina sawayama - are we KIDDING this is THE album of the year no arguments will b taken at this time /:< but GOD all her music is so powerful and politically charged and MAGNIFICENT and gives me so much inspiration lmfao

how to train your dragon 2 official soundtrack by john powell - absolutely not joking when i say httyd2 is my FAVORITE movie of all time?? if u know me u KNOW i love dragons and i absolutely ADORE john powell's compositions PHEW this shit always makes me cry lmfao

aaja nachle soundtrack by salim-sulaiman - lol who would i be if i didnt throw in a lil bollywood,,, this shit is SO fun to sing around w ..... sonu nigam's VOICE god if i could marry it i COULD... shreya ghoshal and sunidi chauhan... YES thank u... just overall chefs kiss thank U!

you never walk alone by BTS - lol i meant to put hyyh you by forever but theyre basically the same tracklist anyway? but SHIT this shit gives me SO much nostalgia bcz i got into bts back in like 2014 so like. Middle School and Early High School was ALLLL bts ): i recently got back into them!! but yes NOSTALGIA

seven + mary by rainbow kitten surprise - lol would u be surprised if i told u i started listening to them bcz of a zukka fic......... SHIT this album is SO good ... i have devil like me on repeat ALLLLLL the damn time

1000 gecs by 100 gecs - lmfao for when i jus wanna glitch out a lil

good nature by turnover - holy SHIT the vibes r IMMACULATE.......... i listened to this whole album like three times through one night while crocheting...... there's literally nothing like vibing 2 this song all nite 10/10 recommend

punch by autoheart - holy SHIT i love their music SO MUCH,,,, reminds me of my best friend )))::: moscow is MY FAVORITE song frm the album PLZ listen i will cry

bajirao mastani by sanjay leela bansali - lmfao bollywood's falling apart but SHIT the music in this movie is so fucking gorgeous.............. makes me wanna go back to india so bad im so sad lol but as USUAL shreya ghoshal's VOICE >>>> everything,,, that woman can SING

prince of egypt soundtrack by hans zimmer - okay while i Love the broadway soundtrack there's absolutely NOTHING like the original dreamworks soundtrack.... not lying when i say the Plagues is like. always on repeat for me. Ralph Fiennes? HELLO???

nothing happens by wallows - PHEW i LOVE wallows,,,,, i love their sound sm and honestly couldnt choose a fav song of theirs but my favs on the album r obv scrawny or are you bored yet? also im in LUV w dylan minnettte so THERE

feel your feelings, fool! by the regrettes - how could i mention dylan minnette without mentioning lydia night??? she's the LOVE of my life and this album is so fucking good,, my first ever regrettes song was seashore and HOLY SHIT i cant say enough how much i love them,,, ladylike/WHATTABITCH? a fav. picture perfect? sexy. lacy loo? a fun diddy! 12/10 would recommend

honorable mentions: dylan and lydia's relationship,,,, they r Goals. also yes i listen to a lot of soundtracks LMFAO i would 10/10 recommend listening to the zindagi na milegi dobara soundtrack.... the mere brother ki dulhan soundtrack..... and the om shanti om soundtrack..... thank u

tagging @engagedzukka @overcomewithlongingfora-girl @micasazukkasa @heterozuko and @yoitsspooky !!!!! luv u all (dont feel pressured 2 do it if u dont wanna!!!! just thought it would b fun eheh)

[shattersstar]

toothaches. (my baby's sweet as can be)

Pairing: Jason Todd x Reader Excerpt: You stood in front of him, hands clasped behind your back as if you touched him, you’d pull him into you, into your orbit and he’d be stuck. Content, but stuck. You pressed a kiss to his bottom lip, chaste and daring. Daring him to break away from the life he led. You’d never truly tell him that, give him an ultimatum of you or vigilantism, but you liked to play in dangerous waters. Water with tumultuous waves that pulled your legs from under you and lapped over you incessantly till you gave in. Until he gave in.  Warnings: semi-nsfw, injury mention, fluff a/n: after @jason-redhood​ sent me an ask i was inspired to write more about Jason’s hands because why wouldn’t I? feedback is always appreciated 

toothaches playlist Work Song - Hozier The Lourve - Lorde Warm Honey - Willow I Don’t Wanna Be Okay Without You - Charlie Burg Lavender Blood - Fox Academy  Makeout - Faze Wave  Honey - III Spector  My Soul I - Anna Leone Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby - Cigarette After Sex  Wasteland, Baby! - Hozier

Was he greedy, did he hoard things in piles and bury them for his use only and take and take and take? Jason would say no, that he was practical, functional and excessive in flare, but not in life. Not in emotions. But then again, maybe he was greedy when it came to you. When it came to your attention, your kisses, your smile. He wanted it all, all the time; he wanted to fester in you and lock you in his heart and let you fill up all the emptiness with your soft proclamations of love. He wanted to drown in your eyes and wallow in your thoughts. He wanted to sink deep into your mind and dance on your tongue and be underneath your fingertips. Yeah, he was greedy when it came to you and he was okay with that. He was okay with letting you have him so wholly just because you wanted him. You were avaricious when it came to him too, and you knew it. You knew it in the way you’d reach out for him at night, hands ready to pull him as close as he let you. And Jason always let you.

Tonight you were on the couch, reading the book Jason had suggested for you. Which  meant he’d keep bringing it up till you bothered to read it. He was in the bedroom currently, you thought about making your way over several times. You imagined sliding into his lap from where he most likely laid on the bed, but each time the thought danced across your mind, your attention was pulled back to your novel. It was one of those things you’d regret not doing later, you knew that already. And as the thought came back, the bedroom door creaked open, and Jason appeared in his costume, red helmet tucked under his arm.

You blinked up at him, smiling softly before drifting your attention back to the book. “I thought you weren’t going out.” You commented, always speaking in tongues. Always telling Jason what you wanted in sly manners. Straightforward was no fun. “Change of plans.” He shrugged, trying to act like it didn’t tear something inside him to upset you. To deny you when you wanted him. “Be safe baby.” You chimed, pushing off the couch, book left behind. You stood in front of him, hands clasped behind your back as if you touched him, you’d pull him into you, into your orbit and he’d be stuck. Content, but stuck. You pressed a kiss to his bottom lip, chaste and daring. Daring him to break away from the life he led. You’d never truly tell him that, give him an ultimatum of you or vigilantism, but you liked to play in dangerous waters. Water with tumultuous waves that pulled your legs from under you and lapped over you incessantly till you gave in. Until he gave in.

“I always am.” He grinned, watching you almost float into the bedroom. The same place you’d be waiting for him upon return. And he would return battered, bruised, bloodied and you would be tender with him as always. You pushed yourself out of bed with little resistance, his uniform falling off in a timely manner. You had gotten good at taking it apart. He was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, hands running over your thighs as you cleaned a wound a top of head. The blood had run down his face as you took his helmet off, not questioning how he even managed to get a head wound. After the sea of his black hair was cleansed, you sunk down to your knees, his hands trailing up to your sides as you wiped the blood from his face. It turned your white wash cloth pink, another one you’d have to throw out, but it was small price to pay. Jason squeezed your waist, frowning smally at your lack of reaction. But you had gotten used to this, his way of trying to distract you.

Trying to make one, or both of you believe that you were kneeling between his legs for other reasons. Not to stitch him back up, hoping the seams held this time. Hoping he didn’t unravel before your eyes. You swiped the towel down his cheek, rubbing a little harder before the wet fabric brushed over his lips. It pulled on his bottom lip and you gave in with a sigh, leaning in closer and kissing him. Kissing him fully this time, hands resting on his knees and swallowing the copper taste on his tongue. His fingers pressed into your spine, and he wished he hadn’t gone out. He wished he didn’t ache as much as he did and he could make you feel as good as you wanted. Why did he have to give so much of himself to people that would never want him?

Jason’s grip faltered on your skin, leaving him to wonder if it was because of his injuries, or you. You hummed, leaving a peck to his lips before shifting away. “I just--fuck--I’m sorry.” He gritted through his teeth. You waved it off, smirking like he did when wicked ideas crossed his mind. Jason never seemed to smile as often as he grinned, and smirked. People liked to think they were interchangeable, but his grin, lips quirked in their particular manner were very much their own. And when he smirked at you, it was like his thoughts rode on the radio waves, spiraling around and pulling you in. “It’s okay, no need to apologize Jason.” You hummed, his full name sounding better on your lips than it ever had before.

Like you took all things associated with it and threw it out the window. When you said his name--Jason--he was more the than sum of his parts, more than the boy who lived, died and lived again. Like he was the reason to be alive and god he wanted to believe it. Your lips moved across his jaw, breath fanning against his throat. You kissed his adams apple, teeth biting into his collarbone as you continued down. An exchange of kisses and nips on his scarred skin, bruises getting softer pecks before you moved on. Your hands squeezed his thighs, Jason’s breath already picking up and he only far off hoped he didn’t fall backwards into the bathtub. Especially as he lifted his hips up, pants sliding off and falling to his ankles. You looked up at him from between his legs, your eyes swirling in those waters again. “Good god you’re mine aren’t you?” You sighed, taking him into the warmth of your mouth.

And Jason was yours, but god played no part in this. Divinity meant nothing when you looked at him, when you were the first thing he saw in the morning and the one holding him at night. Gods were spiteful, angry and thieving. They stole him far too soon and part of him liked to think they played no role in bringing him back. Bringing him to find you and your expanding love that filled a room, only leaving space for him. Divinity was a notion, heaven and hell, and where else were nothing, but places he knew he didn’t want to be. His place was here, with you, your name tumbling from his chapped lips.

You liked the way your name sounded, falling from his lips in helpless sighs. Soft mewling pleas that always made a shiver run up your spine. It made your name sound pretty, like it was a holy pray that only got whined in sacred moments. You also liked how you felt underneath Jason’s gaze, a clouded look that ran deep with so many emotions you lost count. You pretended not to notice the when he looked at you like that from the across the living room or when you bustled around inside, him on the balcony with a cigarette hung between his lips. You knew it embarrassed him, being caught with his eyes so full of love that was sickeningly sweet. His eyes dripped with honey, molten on your lips.

And you liked the taste of him on your lips. From his kisses to everything else. Those good morning kisses that are just a little sweeter, and a little deeper are amongst your favourites. It's those that always remind you of Jason's inexplicably ability to be so soft. To cup both sides of your face with strong hands, hands that have done so much damage, and kiss you with an air of desire. A dizzying hello as the sun soaks in your living room. It was hard not to drown in those moments.

For him though, those breath hitching, day dreaming moments are when your lips press to his knuckles. All scarred and knotted skin met with such an intimate action. So gentle compared to his jagged exterior. Mouth moving across his slender fingers, tongue swiping over the skin occasionally before slipping his fingers into your mouth. Teeth nudging and tongue pushing as you'd suck with a doe eyed look. Oh, how you got under his skin. How you knew him so well, understanding him when no one bothered too. It always was alarming how good you were at that; knowing him. It made Jason want to build walls up in front of you, barricading himself in, but it would all be pointless. Frivolous, as you'd shake your head, telling him to talk to you when he felt like being an adult and kissing his cheek. And he always seemed to break, crumbling and falling into your embrace and letting you hold him as long as he needed. It should've stopped surprising him, or maybe make him less defensive, but he was a creature of habit.

Even after long missions away, when all he wanted was to crumble willingly around you, something told him not too. Told him to hold himself together with split knuckles and ringing ears. Made him play the part of aloof and mysterious and frankly, arrogant. You’d always sigh at those moment, deep breaths puffing up your chest as you dropped your arms from where they were crossed, leaving him be. You both didn’t want this, you wanted each other in the most consuming way possible after these outings. After the endless days that you reassured never bothered you. The ones that made him hesitate at the door, stealing a glance you pretended not to notice as you forced yourself to be distracted by the dishes or some scuff mark on the counter. You always wore your emotions on your sleeve until they became too saddening. Too lonely and heavy.

And after that awkward few days where you tried to accommodate to his space while also wanting to suffocate in him, Jason would relent. All the anger and hurt he stored in his chest would be too much and he’d fall into your lap. You were sitting on the couch, reading the same book from months ago. The one you had a penchant for forgetting about till he asked how you were liking it. It had been a tense few days, and nights with too much distance between your bodies, but you knew better. Better than to force him into your embrace and kiss him when all he wanted to do was curl up and be alone. Try to be small again.

But today, he was ready to be small under your gaze and mutter something akin to an apology. He barely gave you a warning, coming in from the balcony and pushing himself into your space. You held your arms high over your head as he pulled his long legs onto the couch, tucking them as best he could into himself. “I don’t like not talking to you.” He huffed, shoving his cold hands between his thighs. He made the air perfume with cigarette smoke and your shampoo. “Ditto.” You matched his quiet tone, resting your hands on his body. Your book was forgotten, maybe he was why you had trouble reading it. One of your hands rested on his bicep, thumb swiping over the cool skin. Winter had found its way into the city. Your other one pulled one of his hands from between his thighs, fingers raw from last night’s work and still bruised from his out of country adventure. You ran your thumb along his knuckles, wrapping his strong hand with yours. You hunched over him, awkwardly, leaving a wet kiss to the back of his hand, before letting a silence fall between you two.

His eyes were closed, squeezed shut and you didn't push him. You watched the muted television, till his tears slipped onto your bare legs. You sighed than, but not one of exasperation, one of understanding. The pads of your fingers slipped up his arm to his temple, a faint hiss falling from his lips. Jason had injured his head more times than you could count, and you knew how his mind got. How his ears ached, jaw too. How his vision would fog and hands reaching for yours in fear this might be the time his vision would go. You knew this worry was plaguing him since he had gotten back. If his careful demeanour didn’t give it away, the large bandage wrapped around his forehead would’ve. You knew this pain was, the rare time he described it as, unbearable.

You were pulling him towards your bedroom, hushing him and leaving kisses over his face. You yanked the curtains closed as he fell onto your shared bed, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand. It was dark, despite being midday, and Jason burrowed himself into the mattress. You sat at the top of your bed, hand resting on the his forearm. He laid on his stomach, pillows hugged to his face. You sat in the silence with him, sat in the darkness with him, sat through the pain with him, just waiting. Waiting till he’d laugh this off, forefinger and thumb catching your chin as he’d grin into a kiss. It was his thank you, a little roundabout, but you were no better.

And when he did, all so predictably, you wasted no time slotting your mouth open. Falling back onto your pillows, pushing his shirt over his head. “Guess you missed me.” He teased, smirking down at you. Stealing shallow kisses, nosing along your jaw as you let your eyes fall close. “Of course I did.” You swooned, imagining everyday could be like this. Low light and stolen air. Jason’s lips barely left yours as he pushed himself into you, one hand pushing your hips into the mattress while the other wrapped around your wrist, fingers sliding up till you managed to intertwine your hands like your bodies were.

Than, it was quiet again, breathes deep and mingling as Jason rested his forearms on either side of your head. Bodies thinly veiled with sweat and shivering with goosebumps when a stray breeze snuck passed your window. You shuddered underneath Jason, not entirely sure the cause, but it didn’t matter. Not as you traced over the scar on his clavicle, the crept up his neck and tapered off his jaw. You grazed over to his lips, pushing your index and middle finger against them. Jason smiled as you did, kissing your fingertips before your hand fell to your side. “I love you Jason.” You said softly, voice syrupy sweet.

It wasn’t a jarring statement, it was one you had shared with Jason many times. He liked when you said it, when your voice was all sugar and low and somewhere far off. Like on the beach. The place he first said it back, actual said it back. The ocean was on your lips, and sand clung to both your bodies as you fell a top of him. He claimed he was been working on his tan, but in truth didn’t want to move from where he had situated himself with a drink.

You let him be, ebbing and flowing with the current before flicking the water off your hands at him. You sank into the sand next to him, head resting on his chest as you met his gaze. He was smiling, those real rare smiles that made you go all mushy inside. Made you want to store this moment in a snowglobe, and shake the sand and fake water and watch Jason smile like that again and twist the key so a car ad played on the radio next to you two. “My god I think I love you Jason Todd.” You laughed, moving to straddle him. “Really?” He teased, pulling his sunglasses off his nose. “Why of course.” You put on your best posh accent, squealing as he yanked on your arms, face hovering over his. “That’s a coincidence ‘cos I think I love you too.” He had dropped his voice lower, like the private beach goers of you and him would scream it to the heavens. To the tabloids and any stranger that would listen; Jason Todd was in love.

But, just as you did in the dark of you shared bedroom, you kissed him with a beam quirking at your lips, eyes lidded and body warm. He may not say it all that often, but you knew Jason loved you. You knew it in the looks and the touches and the way he always hesitated before leaving you. If it was an hour, or two weeks, a trepidation came with leaving the sanctuary he created with you. And it wouldn’t take Jason much to know you loved him. If you weren’t so fond of the proclamation, Jason could find your love in the way you’d always be there for him, to nurse him back to health and be that crutch to lean on. And he would always come home back to you, crawling if he had too. He had been taken from those who loved him once and he’d never let it happen again. Not to you. Not to the person who kept on loving him when all the signs told you not too.

No amount of blood loss or distance would stop Jason from taking your face in his hands and kissing you while you muttered how you loved him. And didn’t he love kissing you. Kissing you how he wanted, holding you how he wanted and being with you how he wanted. And, yeah, greed was a sin, this indulgence was so dangerous and terrifying to lose. But Jason would rather lose it all, burn it down to the ground in front of him, than not to give himself to you as wholly as you wanted. “I love you too.”

#im proud of this #jason todd x reader #jason todd imagine #red hood x reader #red hood imagine #dc imagine #dc x reader #dc #writing #mr hozier makes me soft #dont disturb the ghost of queue

[alyseofwonderland]

Alyse Reads The Goldfinch, Part 2

What follows is my best attempt at liveblogging. I had the books as an audiobook in hopes that I could keep it from taking even more of my life from me. This was perhaps a mistake. I think I broke Siri trying to make notes. The notes that are rambly are the ones I dictated.

I entirely blame @rollono​ for my suffering. But I am also aware that it seems to give her joy. 

Every time I reference Tara, I am talking about @wellntruly​ who’s own live blog of the book was the only roadmap I had to follow in this waterlogged wasteland of a novel.

Part 1

I thought Tara was making up the Camel-hair coat bit but APPARENTLY NOT.

Architecture has that much to do with the city and or northern Europe, really? I mean, “whitewash” doesn't everybody do that?

Nina ( @proud-librarian​ ) is going to have a lot to say about their descriptions of the Netherlands and Amsterdam in this book. like oh my God!

Theo Deckard doesn't understand how thermostats work.

This isn't satire? I don't understand we're like three minutes in and it has to be satire. right. right?

Who the hell says my mother and I didn't like my father much? like what.... what is this? what am I reading? what is happening? what.... I don't understand.... okay maybe fine whatever

This feels like it should be... I don't know.... satire is the word I'm looking for again. I don't want to just repeat what Tara, said but Jesus. the start of the story is he is rich enough to have a Doorman but not rich enough to afford the fancy private school, and him and his friends break into vacation homes in the Hamptons. what is this? what is this? I just... just.... just write a Jane Austen or Lord Byron novel if that's what you want to do just do that. do that.

My audiobook app just turned itself off in the middle of a passage because it decided I didn't need to listen to Theo talk about whatever he was talking about.

Curse you, Donna Tartt, for also being in the "all things coconut smell like suntan lotion" club. I did not want to have this in common with you.

I am laughing so hard it turns silent into my steering wheel because the audiobook reader makes Tom Cable sound like a surfer dude from the 70s,  and I. cannot. handle. that.

"I like to think of myself as a perceptive person" is basically the way that I know that Theo has about Harry Potter level skills of observation when it comes to the people around him.

Y'all this book would be so much better if Theo actually thought like a 13-year-old that he is supposed to be in the intro part. That would just be peak comedy, which is really what I'm looking for.

Audrey Decker and the Laura Moon from American gods are now the two people that I have ever known to call men "puppy" which I still find alarming, in both cases. Surprisingly they also both die, so I guess more things they have in common.

The longer this book goes on the more clear it is that I am not bougie enough for its contents. ( timestamp 30 minutes)

(GIF BY @rollono​ BY MY REQUEST FOR EVERY TIME THIS BOOK MAKES ME FEEL POOR)

I just can't suspend my disbelief enough to think that a 13-year-old would know this much about their parent's job and be able to ask questions. I'm trying to think of what my dad was doing when I was 13, and I mean I know where he worked, and I know who his boss was, but if you tried to ask me daily issues or me giving advice... oh my gosh. I just can't. nobody talks like this.

I’m making a face akin to Kermit the frog. 

I threw up in my mouth a little at the description of Pippa walking past in the museum.

Did we just describe a 12-year-old girl's arms as marble? is that what just happened? did I just have to listen to that?

Theo has given me a lot of like “Golden State killer” vibes right now with his desire to poke around through all these people's homes and stuff. like this is clearly the Visalia ransacker's motivation in the 70s. I know too much about true crime, that's what's happening right now.

The true-crime serial killer alarms keep going off in my brain.

I know Tara already mentioned how ridiculous the Murphys bed story is but it really is incredibly ridiculous and breaks the tension of the entire scene that is occurring at the time (laughed uncontrollably to the point that Siri typed nonsense)

I get it, Donna, you know things. You do not have list every fire truck to prove it.

Let's take a child to a dinner at 3 am. Really Donna?

Why does Donna insist on giving me the text of signs around whats going on? Why did I just listen to the smoothie specials while an emotional scene is occurring?

Donna, did you just call Mrs. Barough a weasel?  [afronted gasp]

OI!  (me shouting when Donna says that Andy was weird for being lactose intolerant.)

Pukes in my mouth a little at the term 'high verbal'. I get it, Donna, you think you are smarter than all of us stop being a dick.

Donna Tartt would make it to r/iamverysmart in like a minute if she understood how the internet worked.

WHO TAUGHT HER ABOUT FMA?

Okay, so either Donna Tartt knows someone who lost a parent and basing this off them or like went through it herself because I am white-knuckling through the grief bits trying not to have my own trauma response to the situation. Or she wrote Theo with like the exact grief I had. Her incessant need to list things in a room is the only thing between me and a spiral of remembering my dad's death.

ANDY IS A RAY OF LIGHT AND DOES NOT DESERVE TO BE IN THIS FAMILY OR IN THIS BOOK!

Five whole hours before the first sight of Hobie. Like Jesus.

I miss Terry Pratchett.

Hobie thank you for making this book interesting again.

Hobie is now my main squeeze and I won't hear a word against him.

POE DIDN'T INVENT SCIENCE FICTION FUCKING MARY SHELLY DID. DONNA WHAT THE FUCK.

The Hobie part of the story just makes me more sure that a version of the movie should have been without the Baroughers (sp?) and only included Hobie and Pippa.

Any is a murderino. I love this baby boy.

Aw, I love Hobie so so much.

Donna if you call Andy annoying one more time you are gonna catch my hands. (She just referred to his voice as annoying twice in a conversation and I swear to god I will rip this character out of her snobbish clutches she doesn't deserve him.)

Theo on this we agree, I too enjoy Hobie.

Hobie is the only person who belongs in this novel and he's a god damn delight.

SEVEN HOURS AND THE PAINTING HAS COME UP AGAIN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN LITERAL HOURS.

Theo straight up using Spanish to fuck over his father is just *chef's kiss.

I can see how much contempt Donna has for Xandra is longer and deeper than this book will ever be.

I am going to suplex Larry Decker I swear to god. (i have a very particular trigger to spouses bad-mouthing the dead one due to personal experience.)

Necco wafers are no one's favorite candy Donna. You can't just say shit like that and expect anyone to believe you.

I have just realized that Donna Tartt has never been to a public library. How do I know? Witchcraft books are never on the shelves. Ask any librarian. They are stolen pretty much the moment we buy them.

I am standing dead in the tea aisle at the store because Theo just thought it would be “gay” to tell the doormen he has known almost his whole life he is gonna miss them.  (hours later I realize this is her backtracking in edits going "shit shit shit I have to add the repression in somewhere for those dumb readers that don't understand art" and I hate it more.)

Mrs. B is ready to physically fight Larry and I would pay real money to see it.

WHY DOES DONNA KNOW ABOUT DRAGON BALL Z?!? Step away from the things I love Donna I don't trust you near my media. (Also why she does reference it she clearly has NO concept of what DBZ hair would even look like to expect me to believe any child could achieve it.)

oh my god, Boris. I'm so happy to see you.

I am happy to report the audiobook narrator does not do an Australian accent for Boris. Thank the lord.

I knew I was going to love Boris but like a few minutes in I adore him.

It's interesting to me that Theo and Boris seem to have received similar amounts of attention/affection from non-parent adults, but while Theo finds it uncomfortable Boris soaks it in.

The Australian part of Boris's accent seems impossible.

*sobbing audibly into my keyboard* Popchyck

Boris you sweet like socialist.

Comrade Boris we need you in this election.

I'm sad he (Boris) doesn't get to go to college and like piss off every yuppie and hippie, and just make Philosophy 100 and Government 250 absolute hell for everyone.

Drunk Boris at Thanksgiving is a gift.

Me listening to this book before Boris: half paying attention, fucking around on my computer, doing chores. Me after Boris shows up: staring at the middle distance determined to listen to every fucking word because this prison sentence of a novel is finally interesting.

James: you said the author is a snob and you aren't enjoying the main character.  Me: yeah James: then stop reading it. Me: No, then Donna and her Anna Wintour knock off hair cut will win. James, frowning and backing out of the room: k sweetie.

6:30 am is too early to hear Theo Decker describe his bed as "our bed"

I WAS RIGHT. Boris belongs in college making every American white kid absolutely furious in every Poli-sci.

Larry Decker calling Theo and Boris his "kids" made my heart skip a beat.

So the nurse notices they don't have vitamins and smell but doesn't call child services. I mean I know that I learned that school nurses are less likely to call CFS on white kids than they are on black kids but like god damn.

The sheer salt of Theo refusing to learn the name of Boris’s girlfriend is so hilarious.

Now *this* is gay.

The truth is Theo is ready to cut a bitch.

Fellas is it gay to do shots while your boyfriend talks about his girlfriend?

Theo trying to set up Boris with like a nice polite girl who won't fuck him is fucking hilarious. This poor baby gay.

Theo (and Donna cuz she writes him) have never heard of learning disabilities and I will legit throw down.

LARRY IS A SCORPIO IN CANON?! I thought that was something from the fan fics. omg Ally hates this.

No one wears white sport coats Donna stop trying to make it happen.

Boris totally knows what's going on with Larry and he's just trying to look out for Theo because he loves Theo but oh my gosh Boris why do you make me feel so many feelings!

Please, Donna, I am begging you to stop telling me what the light from the sun looks like at different times of the day. I just can't take it anymore. Every scene of Theo in Xandra's house does not need the qualifier of what type of sunlight he is seeing. Some times fine. But every time?

My entire stomach just dropped when I realized what Boris has done, and I'm just I'm so sad. this is not how I wanna start my commute to work today.

I have just had my first moments of being very proud of Donna's writing, because long long time ago, in the same chapter, she had the bit about how Xandra will say "apparently" when she's being bitchy with Theo and now in a conversation where Theo isn't paying attention to her she says "apparently" to Larry and I just had to stop and say this, this is the writing I'm looking for Donna. This is clever and interesting and I LIKED IT. Stop making lists and do more of this.

Friendship ended with Book Boris, Movie Boris is my best friend now.

I don't understand how the director and the screenwriter of the film could move who said those lines and then not make it gay. Like, commit to your choice.

My mom: You finish that book yet? Me, angrily: No. My mom slightly worried: do you like it? Me: unclear.

NEW CHAPTER!

Theo, I need you calm all the way down when you are looking at Pippa.

Love this lawyer. I want to be his friend.

God poor Pippa. All the shit she goes through and she still has to put up with Theo's weird obsession.

Theo, you slid right back into the serial killer habits in a second and I want you to stop it.

Oh god, I feel that in my soul. Like "no sir you have it wrong I look more like the parent I like best." (also I do look more like my dad. like way more like him)

I am begging someone to get Theo some kind of hobby or help or something so he stops acting like a victorian ghost.

I am gonna have to get the actual book so I can see what weird spelling is going on with the text messages. I just know its weird. The narrator does it in such a weird voice.

We spent so much time dealing with emotional issues and other whatnot that going back to the bit about the painting feels like a huge tonal shift in the book. I'm like staggering around confused.

Literally no one uses strawberry shampoo.

Love that Theo ‘s final plan is the one Andy purposed an eon ago.

Salty that Theo is getting the cool college experience that Boris would have crushed.  I would have paid good money to watch him make the philosophy department cry.

[kermit in the car gif]

Yo! Theo struggling to deal with school is like exactly my semester after my dad died.  

The adults attempting to force him into different living arrangements is so what we dealt with post my dad’s death.

Grisha! (Russians the only people I trust atm)

Tara was right, Andy's death comes off like a joke!

I gotta say, Crime Theo is my favorite Theo so far.

I don't know which serial killer Donna was channeling to write the parts about Theo being obsessed with Pippa, but it is just so intensely a serial killer vibe I cannot even begin to describe the look on my face; the feelings I'm having. I'm just like this man is going to kill someone. he's going to kill a lot of people. not only that it's going to be a lot of women because he doesn't view them as people. that's what I'm getting from this it's. Theo doesn't think women are people.

If Theo was on reddit he would be part of r/niceguys and r/iamverysmart.

If I have to listen to him drone on about his fantasies of Pippa for one more minute I will kill myself in the baking aisle of Aldis.

HES HOARDING HER HAIR?! HER UNWASHED CLOTHES?!? Please someone put him in jail.

[the sound of me throwing up in the frozen food section as Theo describes Kitsey]

Donna don’t try to act like you didn’t add that foreshadowing yourself about Andy. You crack me up you relentlessly snob.

How is Theo just The Worst all the time?

Theo freaking out because two gay guys know what’s up with him is just *chef’s kiss

Me having seen only the movie: Theo and Boris should get redemption and a romance run away. Me now: [ gif of “Ive had enough of this guy” from IASIP]

I mean I understand that John Crawley was a coward in so many of his directorial choices, but the fact that he didn't put the second meeting of Theo and this Lucius guy into a crowded weird restaurant where they're both getting hit by the waiters as they go past is just the weakest move you could've made. because this makes it so much funnier.

I'm with Hobie.

honestly this book should've just been 20 hours of art crime and like to shave off a good 10 hours of LISTS because that's what 10 hours is. give me 20 hours of art crime. I would love to watch each sale happen that would've been riveting to read but instead.... this.

Bish, you like those earrings or I will cut you.

Theo salty, while Kitsey picks out new china, is so fucking hilarious.

him just like "why are we buying new plates when my job is literally to find plates that were made by craftsmen?!?!” but being too fucking repressed in his bullshit to say anything, so he just making some poor sales lady suffer.

my friend Ally: “Theo’s repression makes everyone suffer is a good summary of the book.”

Alternative version of this book that would have been 8 million times better: Theo gets into art crimes but is also a serial killer. We don't know the second bit but it begins to start dawning on us as women seem to disappear from his social circles and weird hints of thoughts about blood and rivers.  Bonus points if it ends with him on the run from the law with his only vaguely criminal (by comparison to serial killer Theo) boyfriend. We are left to wonder if they will be gunned down in the chase or if perhaps there will be one more body to great the river.

Theo's textbook serial killer nonsense is only comparable to the sheer petty gay energy he gives off.

The power trip he gets from being like "hahaha yes I have bagged the ice princess who wanted nothing to do with me when we were kids" is just so gross and hilarious.

Theo realizing he is not the only sociopath in the room is just *chef's kiss.

Boris, did you really send some guy to just watch your ex?

Boris, I am begging you. You have made Grisha so upset.

Donna shying away from describing Boris comes off, if you don't know who we are talking about, as weird and slightly racist.

You have the internet Theo, you can look up when movies are going to start. You are not living on the moors.

HOW IS THIS BOOK NOT A SATIRE OF AMERICAN PYSCHO FOR PEOPLE THAT HAVE BONERS FOR ANTIQUES?!?

Boris returns. I have almost forgiven him for what he put me through.

Maybe "fuck you" can be our always.

*tries not to cry when I realize that Boris' friends have heard about Theo

bless Aneurin for everything he did for this reunion in the movie.

Why is Boris such a slut? Why will I forgive him for anything?

Is it gay to think about the guy you used to jack off as handsome when you meet each other again?

Genetics means those kids can't be Boris' unless his mother was blonde. (Theo kind of agrees.)

My soul has left my body at the concept of Boris having a wife and kids.

I'm not saying I endorse crime, I'm just saying a mobster front with a pun in the name is really on-brand for me.

Knowing what I Know. That Boris thinks Theo is gonna try to kill him when they go for the "surprise" just makes the whole thing so tragic and sad.

Boris and his dog REUNITED AT LAST. I'm not crying. I'm fine.

Interesting that the next story we hear is about Gyuri's dead "brother" right after Boris says that Theo is "blood of his heart, his brother". Like. I might not be the biggest history buff in the world but I know gay code when I see it.

I mean I knew this was gonna happen, but I can't help but feel personally betrayed by Boris once again.

Donna, stay away from stuff about computers. Your attempts to use them make me, a technology expert, cringe.

Boris like "you don't deserve this dog. I deserve this dog."

"Babe I get that you are a WASP at heart but I need you to fight with me like a Russian now." - Boris to his disaster husband

"Did I lie?" "YES" (me laughing so hard I'm practically crying)

why does no one in this book appear to exchange numbers or like airdrop contact info.

Does Donna think that people only have iPhones?

Ally who is CTRL F reading this book "'Every few hundred pages she's like 'oh yeah, it's modern times...they're texting and there's emojis!' Seriously, there was the mention of emoji's and my soul escaped my body for a minute because it had no tether to time or space" @aces-low​

Off the top of my head, the name that Donna is not saying for this Horace to guy is Volkswagen.

Instead of being in the mob Boris should run an animal shelter.

Boris being Bitchy and jelly when Theo is talking to the German guy is just so cute. You two deserve each other with your weird shit.

If Donna wasn't a coward this book would have had Theo just getting eyeballs deep in art crime with Boris and his associates.

Adding a sin for making me listen to whatever that just was.

Things Donna forgot to list in "girl food": chicken wings, bread, rolls, other types of bread, garlic bread, a bit more bread, maybe cookies, eight more cookies, 20 more cookies, every type of chocolate humanly imaginable, jam, and barbecue ribs.

What do ankles have to do with being attractive?!?!?! this isn't the Victorian age! 

(from Ally re this comment: “I'm now convinced that every day Donna sat down to write this book she spun a wheel with different years on it, and that's the year the book was set that day”)

I didn't mind Kitsey cheating on Theo, because he doesn't even really like her. Until just now, when I realized that Mrs. B knows about it and she's keeping it from Theo, and my heart broke into 1 trillion pieces. she is the closest thing he has to a mother and he realized that she kept it from him, and I should not be crying in my car before my special Valentine night dinner.

James just walked in during a part describing Pippa and goes "Men writing women, huh?" and I had to pause the book, turn to him and say "a woman wrote this" and he just looks at me like 0_0

Mrs. B clutching Theo's hand so he won't leave her alone with Smalltalk-old-man is honestly the cutest thing in this entire book.

Hobie being able to be spotted from a distance at all times! I have a friend who is 6'5" and we can find him in crowds so easily!

Perhaps the funniest moment of this book is Theo saying "if girls loved assholes then Pippa would love me". buddy I'm going to post this entire book to r/niceguys

I WANT MORE ART CRIME! Why did you make me listen to 15 hours of boring nonsense when we could have had ART CRIME!

I deeply enjoy Boris's commitment to being a dramatic goofball, falling to his knees just be annoying.

Movie Boris appears in a dramatic way. Book Boris is just like there and also shoving food in his face and walking out of the party still eating all the food he just put in his cheeks like a chipmunk.

Hobie just like "if you want to run off with your gay love i'll cover."

Theodor Decker you get back in there and make sure that thief stays away from Nicole Kidman she has been through enough already!

Theo, I know that you don't actually have brains for anything besides drugs, crimes, being weird about women, and your own ass, but you could at least listen when people speak.

Theo is such a mess. He doesn't belong in modern times. He deserves to be Jack the Ripper.

I know the narrator is saying croissant the "correct" way. But every single time it happens I'm so fucking confused because who just leans into a french accent that hard for a single word?

Theo offers an actual good idea that Boris is going to use later and they all look at him like he's crazy.

I know "my brand" is "man holding gun" but listening to Boris assemble a gun I'm like "oh goodness I need to lay down". *fans self

Theo suddenly "I have made a huge mistake"

It's interesting to me how reluctant Boris is to make Theo a larger part of the heist. Theo reads it as frustrating but I read it like a kind of care and affection. He doesn't want his friend mixed up in something he can't handle, despite the fact that he wants Theo close so he can get him the painting back.

I see now why the heist in the movie was so fucking confusing. You need the Horst stuff and like a bunch of other nonsense that does not translate well to screen unless you re-write all the connections, which John Crowley was not willing to do.

Really love the "women drop their mark the first time" bit.

me: Theo I swear to god stop being high and sick in your room and go get some actual clothes and medication or at least don't make me listen to so much of it

this book is not 30 hours long. its 15 hours of a book and 15 hours of Donna going "gotta get that word count up or people with think I'm weak". Please, Donna. I don't need to hear this one thing happen for so long. It adds nothing to the tone, the themes, the plot, or the ambiance. You are just writing words for words sake.

The first suicide note was so well crafted that I honestly want Theo to kill himself now. If he can manage to write the others pretty okay I will be happy with this ending.

Don’t think I didn’t notice that the ghost of a dead loved one appeared on Christmas Eve.

I'm sorry who doesn't respond to "didn't you get my text?" with "my phone was dead" instantly?

me listening to Theo throw a tantrum at Boris because neither of them is capable of explaining themselves and like speaking as normal humans do: "It would have been better if Theo died"

Why must I be forced to listen to Donna make these scenes longer because these people don't talk like people?

Thud by Terry Pratchett does a much much better job of asking the question "can we trust our hearts and be the person we want to be?" And it honestly gives a better answer. And has you know, clever writing.

I thought it was like Over. I did. I was like "oh this is it wrapping up" ONLY THERE IS 30 MORE MINUTES AND I WANT TO SCREAM!

Me certain the book is over: i mean maybe this is a good ending

Me seeing i still have 30 more minutes: this is the worst book ever

This book held me fucking captive for over a week and all it left me with was like a few good lines, burning hatred for the main character, and the desire to go into Donna's home and rearrange all her stuff. 

also, I now hate antiques. out of spite.

don't read The Goldfinch. it's not worth it y’all.    

#jabberwockytalkies #words #donna tartt i just wanna talk #the goldfinch #alyse watches stupid movies #theodore decker #boris pavlikovsky #larry decker #xandra #donna tartt #this book beat me up and took my money and my will to put up with men

[tangerinesunbeam]

so kasia @statementsue tagged me......Two Whole Weeks Ago to list my top 5 albums of 2019 and i am a procrastinator to the extreme so y’all are getting them today!!!!

this is in order of release and not in order of which i like most becos i cannot make decisions to save my life and ALSO behind a cut becos I Do Not know how to shut up so here goes:

dodie - human

i had never listened to dodie before i listened to this album, and i still haven’t really gone through her back catalogue which i Must, but. this little album is pretty solid, and i like every song on it which is always great.

personal highlights: she!!!!!! i was listening to this album just as i was having Thoughts and Feelings about my own sexuality and after reading about how the artist herself was having the same thoughts when she was writing it, the lyrics really hit home and mean a great deal to me. also monster is an absolute bop! from the bridge to the end? incredible

lizzo - cuz i love you

i cannot put into words how much lizzo means to me. just by existing and being herself she makes me feel more confident and in love w myself than ever before, and i feel like the album is just a massive extension of that?? absolute bops top to bottom and also she’s soooo hot it makes me wanna scream.

personal highlights: like a girl and soulmate for the lyrics, like yes i AM my own soulmate!!! i DO know how to love me!!! and cuz i love you and jerome for the sheer power of her voice. heart eyes, motherfucker.

lana del rey - norman fucking rockwell!

i never begrudge artists growing and evolving and changing their sound, but unforch i haven’t really been into lana’s albums from the past few years - ultraviolence was her last album i was really into. AND THEN nfr!!!!!! soooo good, right up my alley sound-wise and one of the most cohesive top to bottom albums i’ve ever listened to??? such a return to form imo.

personal highlights: not entirely sure what it is about mariners apartment complex but god does it make me Feel Things. also honourable mention to doin’ time for the fact that she’s singing abt a girl!!!! we love a singer who keeps original pronouns and is happy to make it gay.

joseph - good luck, kid

now i’m bending the rules a little bit because i actually only first listened to this album this year But it came out last year and i was first introduced to them just before midnight on new year’s eve when they were on jools holland so it COUNTS okay!!!! Anyway they’re a group of three sisters and the harmonies on this album are juuuust incredible. the album’s full of personally v relatable lyrics within absolute bangers - it’s a no-skip album for me easily. no info on the internet on whether any of them are gay but there are gender neutral pronouns throughout the album which is niiiice.

personal highlights: i’ll have to really live w this album for a bit longer in order for Clear Favourites to emerge but early contenders are the title track good luck, kid and in my head for their Hashtag Relatable lyrics, and shivers is just absolutely beauuuutiful.

harry styles - fine line

let’s ignore the fact that i’ve basically overplayed this after not even having it for three weeks lmao, if you thought it wasn’t gonna be here then you’re just playing yourself. henry’s only gone and done it, and i am so thankful to have this album in my life. sophomore slump who??? the pink album will always have a v special place in my heart but my god if fine line doesn’t expand and build and improve on it in basically every way possible. looking forward to listening to this in five, ten, twenty years’ time and still marvelling at how good it is.

personal highlights: fine line!!!!!!!! my first listen was in bed in the dark, earphones in, eyes closed, under the covers, and my god did i sob. fine line the song is everything i ever wanted from a song from henry, emotional and relatable and orchestral and christ, that falsetto. the way the song builds and then that last minute and a half really blows me away every single time. look out for me on tour in birmingham and london where i will be Sobbing throughout this entire song. i could probably Also write a paragraph about every song on the album but i will Withhold for the sake of anybody who is still actually reading this lmao.

honourable mentions to: hozier - wasteland, baby! (faves go to be and NFWMB even tho it wasn’t on the album, i play by my own rules) and i’m copying kasia here but nicholas britell really did go the fuck off with the succession ost (faves go to andante in C minor, strings con fuoco, and andante in C minor - solo piano version -- the drama! the panache!!!)

Anyway i did not mean for this to get as long as it is!!!!! maybe my new year’s resolution should be brevity in writing lmao. i have literally no idea if any of you have already done this because it went round Weeks ago but if not and you fancy it i’ll tag @olreid @aheartofgold @girluptighty @womantm @dykes4louis @lesbianlouis @woolsocklesbian @glasscushion @harrysyellowflares obv no pressure!!!

#if you have already done in drop the link in the replies I wanna be noseyyyyy #Anyway i had to get my laptop out for this so i could put a fuckign read more in bc i couldn't figure it out on mobile adsgfjkl #so you're welcome for that i guess #also didn't mean to ignore u kasia i genuinely kept forgetting!!! asfgdhgk #gonna tag this as something case i want to find it again hmm #tag meme #i guess?? #s

[aliceslantern]

Serendipity, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic, chapter 3

ser·en·dip·i·ty | n -- the occurrence of an unplanned fortunate discovery.

It's all fun and games until someone gets pregnant.

Modern AU, Zemyx, Ienzo is trans and afab

Chapter summary:  Ienzo and Demyx decide what they want to do with this unplanned pregnancy.

Read it on FF.net/on AO3

---

Ienzo went through the next few days in a haze. The word echoed heavily in his mind--

Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant.

He didn’t look it. His stomach was as flat as it ever was. This clump of cells, such as it were, was only a few weeks old. Perhaps not viable.

Could he see a pregnancy through? Imagine himself swollen, heavy? And what of the other end, a whole human being he’d need to care for? He’d wanted children, but he’d figured it would have been ten, fifteen years in the future--and then, adoption. He hadn’t anticipated anything biological. Hell, he’d fully planned on having a hysterectomy at some point. Not to mention, he and Demyx were faring well, but it had only been months. This was a greater commitment than marriage.

He couldn’t keep this pregnancy. That’s all. It was a mistake, a blip on the radar. But for clarity’s sake, he did need to tell Demyx. It was only fair. He’d regret it if he didn’t.

The thought of it made sleeping impossible. He stumbled through the workday blearily, and when he got home he was unable to make the dinner he’d planned for. He sat on the couch, hugging himself tightly, imaging himself spitting out those words. This was all his fault.

When Demyx got back from class, he noticed the variance in Ienzo’s mood immediately. “Hey,” he said. “What's going on? Bad day?”

He swallowed, feeling a lump in his throat. “I… suppose…”

Demyx sat next to him. “What happened?”

He tried to gather the nerve. “I need to tell you something.”

Something like fear sparked in his eyes. “What?”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

He felt the tears there, tremulous.

Demyx took his hand; he snatched it away. “Talk to me,” he said. “I can’t fix what I don’t know.”

He swallowed. He was shaking all over. “I… received some news,” he said slowly. “I figured out what’s wrong with me.”

“Isn’t that good?”

The wetness ran over. “I’m… I’m pregnant.”

There was a substantial pause. Demyx snorted. “Okay, real funny.”

He looked up. “It’s not a joke. I really am.”

He froze. “Oh.”

“I… I thought it wasn’t possible. And for the majority of people on T, it isn’t.” He gritted his teeth. “I guess I’m just lucky.”

“Oh,” Demyx repeated.

“I… I wanted to tell you. Before I made any decisions.”

“Thank you,” he said numbly. “I’m… I’m so sorry, Ienzo. This is my fault.”

“If we’re being technical, it’s both our faults,” he said.

“What do you want to do?”

“I…” He swallowed. “I don’t know. I’m still in shock.” Ienzo felt a bit faint. “What if there’s something wrong with it? From the hormones?”

“I doubt that.”

“But what if I can’t carry it the whole term--” He hugged himself tightly.

Demyx embraced him gently. “It’s your body,” he said softly. “Whatever you decide, I’m with you.”

“But this thing is also half yours.”

“I’m not the one who’s going to carry it and give birth to it,” Demyx said. There was something distant in his eyes.

“What do you want ?”

He pressed his forehead against Ienzo’s. “I want to make you happy,” he said. “That’s all. Whatever that means.”

---

This news did make things awkward between them, as he tried to slog through the next few days. Demyx seemed to be constantly walking on eggshells around him. Ienzo was exhausted, sluggish. He kicked things back and forth in his mind--

The finances. The newness of his relationship. The threat of the pregnancy triggering dormant dysphoria. His testosterone hurting the embryo. He needed to talk to someone, someone he could trust to be level headed.

Ienzo called his father.

Ansem was a busy man. Being a politician would do that. Trying to explain things to his other father only gave him anxiety. He needed real, solid advice.

It was a beautiful spring day. He was feeling swollen, despite the fact that he was too early along to show. His pregnancy had recently escalated to morning sickness, and it wasn’t fun. He was still sipping ginger tea in an attempt to reign it in when he saw him approach in the park.

“Waiting long?” he asked, leaning in for a hug. “Ienzo, I must say. Since I last saw you, you are positively glowing. Nothing like young love.”

“Glowing.” He snorted. Unfortunately, it was true. Since he'd been pregnant his complexion was flawless.

“Shall we walk?”

He followed him through the park, the just-blooming flowers. Parents playing with their kids. Bright, warm sunlight.

“All is well, I hope?” Ansem asked. “You seem distant this afternoon.”

“I’m afraid I have ulterior motives, for speaking with you,” he said. “I need some… fatherly advice. As it were.”

“All in the contract,” Ansem said, with a smile.

“You recall I’ve started a new relationship.”

“Not so new. It’s been some time since you mentioned it.” Ansem cocked his head. “I’m glad, to see you find someone. I’d hoped you would eventually.”

“I’m afraid I’m… dealing with a dilemma.” He looked at the lake, at the ducks. He admitted it to the water. “I’ve conceived.”

For a moment all that was audible was the splashing of ducks. “Are you… quite sure?” Ansem asked. “I thought--”

“Yes. I did too.” He sighed. “The proof is in the pudding. So to speak.”

Ansem touched his arm. “Do you feel alright?”

“Nauseous, emotional, humiliated,” he said. “But yes, fine, I suppose.”

“The chances of this happening must be--”

“Incredibly slim.” He felt his hand on his stomach and pulled it away. “Lucky me.”

Ansem considered this. “Lucky,” he echoed. “Yes, Ienzo, perhaps you are. Does the boy know?”

“Handled it gracefully, I suppose,” he said. He wished he had seeds, for the birds. “Says it’s my body, my choice, and all that.”

“Something like this--perhaps it is fate,” he said slowly. “Giving you something you didn’t realize you needed.”

“More like I was irresponsible once and these are the consequences.”

Ansem placed a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t base a choice like this on logic,” he said firmly, “as much as you are wont to. Parenthood is difficult, emotionally complicated. You have to go with your gut, Ienzo, or you’ll regret it forever.”

“How very helpful,” he spat.

“Your heart will tell you the right thing to do,” he said. “Regardless of whether or not you see this through… you have my support. But consider… after all, you ended up in our custody under less than ideal circumstances. And it ended up being a fortuitous match, yes?”

He blinked. “I… suppose.”

“Consider it an opportunity, either way,” he said, “To determine what you truly want from your life.”

“I shall.”

“I hope you do.”

---

Ienzo was drifting into an uncertain sleep when it came to him, with a painful clarity. He’d been in denial too long.

Go with his gut.

He rested his hand on the clump of cells. What was it telling him?

Likely if he continued his transition--his plan--he wouldn’t be able to biologically conceive again. This was likely a fluke--as it were. A once in a lifetime shot.

Wouldn’t he be a fool, to throw it away?

He looked at Demyx, fast asleep next to him. Quite possibly this person was the love of his life.

Ienzo had always lived by rules and plans. Breaking those rules had given him love and pleasure he hadn’t thought he was capable of. And to break this rule, this plan? Bigger, more consequential than the last? Would it reap a larger reward? Should he terminate, life wouldn’t be normal. The fact of it would sit within him forever, good or bad.

He wanted this child.

It wasn’t a clump of cells. Or an embryo. It was the potential for a person, something he’d made, despite the odds. It wanted him , despite his inhospitable body. Tears--of relief, maybe--clouded his eyes. He already knew he’d made up his mind.

Very well.

He sat up. Slowly. “Demyx?” He wasn’t sure why the man needed to know right exactly now at this god awful hour, but he needed to say it out loud. He needed it to be real.

Demyx groaned and pressed his face into the pillow. “Wassup?”

“I want to keep the baby.” Not cells, not a fetus. Something that would be a person.

He blinked, his expression sharpening. He took a breath. “I was hoping you would,” he said softly.

“Why didn’t you tell me, if you felt so strongly?”

“Because this isn’t a normal situation. I didn’t want you to be--uncomfortable.” He gasped out loud, as though just realizing. “But fuck, we’re really going to do this, aren’t we?”

“It seems that way-- if my body decides to hold the pregnancy.”

Another sound, almost like a laugh. “Jesus, Ienzo, I--we’re going to be parents. ”

“It… seems that way, yes.”

“God, I--love you.”

In the startled silence that followed, Ienzo realized it was the first time either of them had actually said it. “I love you too,” he said.

Demyx leaned in to kiss him. He rested his palm against Ienzo’s stomach. “There’s really something in there.”

“I know I need to… go back to the doctor, at some point,” he said. “Not only to tell her I plan to remain pregnant, but to gauge the baby’s gestational age. They’ll probably do an ultrasound.”

“Can I come?”

Ienzo wasn’t sure why this surprised him, or why he expected Demyx to be flighty and anxious about all this. “Of course you can.”

---

Actually seeing the baby was surreal. It was no more than a blip in a black and white wasteland, but it was there. Hearing that it had a heartbeat, too, startled him to tears. It was living, it was alive. He was apparently only six weeks into this pregnancy; another six before they could even be sure it was viable.

The anxiety of it all was getting to him. He wanted this child almost fiercely, though he had no idea why. Genetics? Instinct? Was this as Ansem told him, his heart telling him what he needed? Still, Ienzo did not dare dream of what might come of it. Not yet.

He tried his best to be healthy. He read voraciously about ideal diets despite his propensity to immediately throw it back up. Took vitamins. Tried to maintain hydration despite the steadily-increasing pressure on his bladder.

He was actually finishing getting sick at work when he heard a gentle knock on the stall door and a timid, “are you okay?”

Fuck. He thought he was alone. “I’m fine, thank you for your concern.” He dabbed at the fine sweat on his forehead. Shakily, he stood and opened the door. He saw a young man, with messy, spiky blond hair--one of the high school volunteers. Ienzo could not recall his name. Ted? Ben? He wasn’t wearing his pass, which was technically a violation of the rules.

“If you’re sick, you should go home,” the boy added. “I’m sure it’ll be okay.”

“I’m not sick or contagious. Such as it were.” He smiled wearily. “It’s a medical condition.”

“Oh… I’m sorry to hear that.” His blue eyes were terrified. “Is there anything I can do to… help you?”

“Not particularly--unless you mind me brushing my teeth.” He chanced a smile; the boy returned it nervously. The boy did what he came in here for and left, casting one more odd glance over his shoulder.

As he went through his normal daily routine… Ienzo realized he’d been slow for a time. Soon enough this “condition” would be obvious. He didn’t particularly care who knew he was trans, but he also didn’t wear it on his sleeve. Continuing would make it obvious.

Did it matter, truly? What good were secrets?

He’d cross that bridge when he got to it.

---

Ienzo and Demyx both waited with bated breath as the weeks crept past steadily. It felt as though the nausea was abating, and his energy returned; they were able to enjoy sex again. One morning he woke up and noticed after his shower that his stomach was no longer quite so flat. It would be impossible to tell unless one knew that it was a baby and not an extra five pounds, but it was visible.

The twelfth week came. According to the three month sonogram, all was well. He and the baby were both healthy. Things were becoming permanent. Demyx, who had been bursting to tell the truth for some time, told anyone who would listen, and one morning Ienzo woke up to a spam of angry texts from Naminé at not being told sooner. She didn’t buy the “we wanted to make sure” line. Then,

I think Demyx likes the cult of domesticity, she wrote. After the way we grew up… he likes the stability. He’ll love the crap out of both of you, I know that much.

A sigh. He already is. Always there to give a shoulder or back rub, to indulge his strange cravings (anywhere from kimchi to collard greens and chocolate), to not get more than vaguely annoyed when the hormones made him act like a maniac.

It was time to start planning this life for real.

#serendipity #ienzo #demyx #zemyx #ansem the wise #pregnancy #ienzo is trans

[alphabees-writes]

Glee - S1 E4 (Preggers)

And from this moment onwards, Kurt Hummel proceeded to steal every single damn scene he was in. I’m actually unironically excited for this one. I didn’t think that could still happen! Here goes!

I will always love this Single Ladies scene. I will always love season 1′s Tina/Kurt friendship. Also, Brittany’s here, inexplicably. Did he pay her for this? In Pixie sticks, perhaps? Or Monopoly money?

“Kurt’s Superstar Playlist” is the most adorable name his playlist could possibly have. All we get to see on it are 4 Beyonce songs, and 1 Gwen Stefani - but it’s a cute little insight.

God sometimes I forget how cute Jenna Ushkowitz is and then this scene really slaps me round the face with it huh!!!

WHY are you filming this, Kurt? What are you using this for? I’d love to know. I’d say it’s just to check out his own dancing technique but it’s in black and white… Where are you posting this!!!

I want that swingy-suspended chair thing he has in his room sooooo bad

Ok now the fact that this is being filmed is giving me fic ideas…

BURT HUMMEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BURT F U C K I N G HUMMEL BABIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God the look of fear on all three of their faces when they see Burt??? Don’t you worry kids he’ll come around real soon…

Burt’s approving nod when he yanks on Kurt’s unitard… God I love this man.

The LOOK on Kurt’s FACE when Brittany says he’s on the football team… I can hear his inner monologue like “bitch we may be in the basement but I will make a window to throw you out of”

Kurt just wants to relate to his old man so bad :( Baby boy he’s already so damn proud of you!!! Also that LAUGH.

He really just slapped Tina’s ass! And she completely rolls with it, the absolute champion. Also, the subtitles Netflix provided me with were (smacks bottom) and I just love that.

Oh god it immediately cuts to the WORST scene. Terri learning to give birth. William Schuester trying to help. Just let me perish, RIB?

Shout out to Kendra’s actress for somehow managing to make her character even more despicable than Terri!

Actually the shit she says to Will here is almost valid… All three of them are fucking awful huh!

Seriously why are Kendra and Terri the best actresses on this whole show? It’s the only reason I care about this fake pregnancy arc anymore…

The teacher’s lounge is always either an arid, desolate wasteland, or the only watering hole within 100 miles where all the thirsty ass teachers congregate. Take your pick.

Why does Will pretend to hesitate before going to sit with Ken and Emma? They’re the only people we ever see you talk to dude!!!

Ken with the psychoanalysis, wow. Just hit her right there buddy!

THAT’S HOW SUE C’s IT!!!

Rachel really just EXPECTS every solo… I almost forgot how bad she was when she started. “Maria is MY part!” Not anymore!! Kudos to Lea Michele for managing to make Rachel really sound like she thinks she’s the victim when she really isn’t.

Tina’s face… She was seriously happy. Season 1 Rachel SUCKS for even trying to take this from her. She IS talented. She IS ready!

Everybody else knows it’s a fat load of BS… Kurt lowers his sunglasses to look at her like she’s a bug beneath his shoe. Also, Kurt, why sunglasses? You don’t start getting hangovers ‘til next episode, sweetie!!

“You’re trying to punish me” I think being a total martyr might be one of Rachel’s worst traits early on in the series. I get that performing is her deal, but she can’t even take a second to at least fake being happy for Tina? Unreal.

Everybody else just moving straight on with it is hilarious. They’re all so happy for Tina and don’t give a shit about Rachel’s melodrama, which I’m living for!

I wanna be all “Finn’s an arrogant bastard for assuming Kurt wanted to ask him to prom, grr!!” But then I remember Kurt’s canonically in love with him at this point, so I’ll let him off this time

Kurt’s devious little smile when he asks Finn for a favour… I love one (1) boy!

AHHH THE TRYOUT SCENE. INCREDIBLE. This might honestly be my favourite scene from season 1. It’s definitely up there, anyway.

Cute brotherly Furt moments. Finn putting that helmet on for him. “Red’s your colour!” And they DON’T make Kurt get all giggly about Finn just being nice to him? Kurt just telling him he’s really cool? Pure.

“Rehearsing–” “PRACTICING!”

Finn tells Kurt he’ll be murdered if he uses his music and Kurt comes straight back with that rum chocolate souffle line. This show would be NOTHING without Kurt.

And THIS is what I mean when I say Kurt was a Gryffindor from the get-go. Even now he’s refusing to be anything less than himself for anybody, even the jackasses that harass him every day when he’s on their pitch.

Shut the fuuuuuuuck up, Puck!

“Hi, I’m Kurt Hummel and I’ll be auditioning for the role of kicker.” What did we do to deserve him?

His starting pose… His hips… The footwork… “That was good, right?” His whole ATTITUDE. THE ROYAL WAVE.

As if the TV network would cancel Sue’s news segment for having a few Cheerios in the glee club?

Oh god. Quinn telling Finn she’s pregnant. The fucking cinematography here… The camera work, the audio mixing…

“Think of the mail… Think of the MAIL…”

Did Quinn seriously just say “Ask Jeeves” told her the hot tub could knock her up? I mean, I know she’s lying, but ASK JEEVES? That should’ve tipped Finn off more than anything else…

Damn. Season 1 really had the power to get me shook, laughing, and then crying in the span of 30 seconds? Or maybe it’s just because I can’t stand seeing Diana cry…  

Sandy lets his kettle whistle for far too long, it stresses me out

Sue just… Offers this fired man a job? I know she’s got Figgins by the balls over the stockings commercial, but come on, surely the council would get involved or whatever???

Rachel sucks right now but god damn it Taking Chances gives me chills every time I hear her sing it… And she’s so cute when they tell her she got the lead!!!

If musical stuff is so frowned upon socially here, how are they expecting to get a full cast for Cabaret? Especially if NONE of the other glee kids are interested?

And there’s no funding for the arts but they have a whole ballet studio on school property…?

Sign #12 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: He just straight up tells Rachel that he’s the only person that likes her, which is wrong for so many reasons

He does have a point about Rachel needing to take a step back sometimes though. I hate that she’s so awful sometimes that I have to agree with Schuester.

He’s not HURTING you Rachel, he’s giving a chance to grow to somebody else!

Jenna did a beautiful job with this solo… Tina’s so cute too! I love her singing this sweet song with her goth aesthetic

This scene between Mr Schue and Tina was almost sweet BUT:

Sign #13 That Mr Schuester Is An Asshole: He did NOT need to touch Tina’s shoulders, or get that close, or whisper to comfort her.

Don’t take one for the team, Tina! Take one for YOURSELF!

I’ll let him hugging Finn slide because, wow, Finn’s breaking my heart right now…

However I will not let it slide that he’s seemingly taken him off campus for lunch…???? Dude, take him to your office. This is creepy as all hell even if he has good intentions…

“I got this at the school library. Did you know that you can just… Borrow books from there?” Protect him. Protect him at ALL costs. He was so genuinely inspired by watching Kurt make those goals that he went to a library for the first time in his LIFE oh my goodness

Oh god. The camera panning from a random father and his young son, over to Mr Schue looking at Finn? HE’S NOT YOUR SON MY GUY, HE IS YOUR PUPIL. PROFESSIONAL BOUNDARIES!!!

Terri and Will are both brushing their teeth with no toothpaste… Freaks…

Have I mentioned how much I adore those little background choir soundbites between scenes? They did so much for this show…

SHUT! UP! PUCK! Drink your fucking character development juice already!!!

Kurt just casually dropping in Sun Tzu’s Art of War… He just knows that. He’s prepared to just drop that in conversation. Son, why are you so ready for combat,

Also the way Kurt commands their attention? They can rag on him all they want but they all know he’s legit…

Look at all these doofuses in their football gear busting a move. Look at Kurt sat at the front just watching, judging, as he was born to do

MIKE! KILLING! IT! I love that they let us see a sneak peek of his moves… Serious HC that Kurt making the football team dance is the first time that Mike really got to show off his skills

Kurt shooing Mr Schue away like that gives me life!!! Sit down old man

“All right boys…”  And they all look so concerned behind him lmao… “Oh– SNEAK ATTACK back to the ring…” Mike’s trying so hard to keep in time. I love him. OH and there’s Matt! Most valid glee club member simply because he never says anything.

“Comb through the hair… SLAP THE BUTT!” And they’re all trying so hard… 10/10

“I’m your best friend,” says Puck, to the boy he has been consistently fucking over for four (4) episodes, and presumably many years prior…

I really do hate Puck for the first part of this season but god damn does he have some lines. “’Sup, MILF?” “Well, CALL the Vatican! We got ourselves another ImMaCuLaTe CoNcEpTiOn!”

I remember the first time I heard the term “Lima Loser” but I didn’t know the show was set in a place called Lima (I would’ve been, like, 9) and I thought it was lime-a-loser. Like he was going to have limes thrown at him. And it was this big, serious threat…

How the FUCK did Terri get into Quinn’s car? Why is that never addressed? Like, ever? Quinn doesn’t even ASK?

Do this many people turn up to American high school sports events irl??? And do they really play the national anthem? That must get old

Why are all these football players 30… I’m so thirsty for realistic casting…

BURT’S HERE TO SEE HIS SON!!! We love a proud dad.

“I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU!!!” And now he’s doing high kicks. Kurt’s doing the absolute MOST.

I will never understand the rules of American football… And I mean NEVER.

“Ring on it on three” I love that it has a code name. And they were all too busy being dudebros to call it Single Ladies…

The one dude on the opposite team who starts boogying along is the real MVP

NEVERMIND. BURT BOPPING IN THE STANDS IS THE MVP!!!

“Can I pee first?” Legendary

Burt just going “he’s so little…” In the middle of the silent crowd…

MY BOY NEEDS HIS MUSIC!

BURT’S SO FUCKING PROUD I’M ACTUALLY CRYING??? YOU CAN HEAR HIM SHOUTING “THAT IS MY BOY!!! THAT IS MY SON!!!” THROUGH THE WHOLE CROWD!!!!

I feel like Puck seeing Finn and Quinn kiss and then the crowd going silent as he walks away is meant to make me feel… Bad for him…? But we’ve only ever seen him be mean to Quinn, really. You’ve got to earn those moments!

Ah… The skincare routine. He’s thriving.

Burt! Hummel! Is! Proud! Of! His! Son!

Burt… I’m pretty sure he assumed you wished his mother was alive. As opposed to her corpse being at the big game.

Oh boy here it comes…… Chris looks SO young here. So scared. So vulnerable. The way he slightly stutters… He nailed this scene. So much.

He’s gay!

He knows.

Do they make sensible heels in sizes for three year olds…? Asking for a dad

The raw EMOTION on Kurt’s face. It’s killing me.

This is the starting point… “I’m not in love with the idea, but I love you.” And it only gets better from there…

And he THANKS his SON. He’s sure. He’s so sure, Burt, and you are going to be so proud of him forever.

Finn gives Quinn that blanket his dad gave him when he was a baby… Did she give it back? I fucking hope so…

You tell him, Finn! Puck IS an asshole!

MIKE’S IN GLEE!!! SO IS MATT!!! And Puck’s here I guess, yay… He’s got a season or so of sucking to go before I can get excited about that.

“Regionals” here we come? My guy, let’s get through sectionals first…

Rachel’s big, cruel smile when she thinks she’s going to be handed Tina’s solo. Why would she presume that it’d just get handed to her??? I mean, I know why, but like, why… And she has the audacity to look like she’s been betrayed. Not even slightly, hon! You deserve nothing if not getting one solo is all it takes for you to quit!

This Sue’s corner genuinely gets me through some shit. “There’s not much of a difference between a stadium full of cheering fans and an angry crowd screaming abuse at you - they’re both just making a lot of noise. How you take it is up to you. Convince yourself they’re cheering for you. You do that, and someday, they will.” Hits me hard!

This one was longer. Primarily because of Burt, I will admit, but it can’t be helped. Perhaps it’s the best episode of season 1 because of Burt! Now that’s a break through…

#Glee #Glee Season 1 #Rosie watches things and then says things about the thing

[sunkissedpages]

In The Dark || Tom Holland x Reader

a/n: this came from three things- my drive home from university (yay spring break), hozier’s new album, and those pictures of tom in That Jacket. also this is lowkey a love letter to my first car, miss u bud. I didn’t include a destination because they can be going anywhere you want :)

Summary: a road trip with your boyfriend doesn’t exactly go as planned

Warnings: swearing, okay there’s like one (1) mention of a blowjob, just a whole bunch of f l u f f 

Word Count: 1.4k

Masterlist

“I see them, Tom!” you said with as much composure as you could muster. You knew he was only warning you about the car braking in front of you to be helpful, but his backseat driving was getting a little on your nerves after three hours in the car together.

He didn’t drive much himself, so every time he tried to offer advice you were more than a little hesitant to take it. To be fair, your squinting at the dark road in front of you was enough to make anyone nervous, but it wasn’t your fault you were in the middle of nowhere and your car’s headlights were so dim.

A road trip had seemed like such a good idea a few hours ago when the sun was setting beautifully behind the trees and you were both listening to Wasteland, Baby! for the first time. Now three loops through the album later your muscles were beginning to ache and your eyes started feeling strained and your attitude was less than chipper.

“Sorry, love,” he apologized with a grin, taking your right hand and kissing your knuckles. He held your hand on his lap and you began to relax as he rubbed circles on it with his thumb. “Just trying to help.”

You sighed. “I know, I’m sorry. I’m just tense.”

“We can take a break if you want,” he offered.

“No, we’ve only got like an hour left,” you insisted, rolling your neck. “I’ll be fine.”

He nodded and relaxed further in his seat, keeping your hand in his. He shuffled the music on his phone and turned up the volume when it landed on some 80s pop hit and you turned your attention back to the cars in front of you.

It was so hard to focus on the road and not on him. Not when the light from his phone highlighted the tiny freckles on his face, and his hair was so curly and dark from winter and he was wearing that soft sherpa denim jacket that you were set on stealing. It was unfair, really.

You zoned out as traffic thinned around you and the warmth from Tom’s hand spread through your fingers and up your arm, not even noticing the first few times your headlights flickered until they went out for a prolonged few seconds before sputtering back on.

Tom sat up. “Love,”

“I see it,” you said, without frustration this time. You narrowed your eyes at the road even more and watched as the shadows on the road slipped into complete inkiness in rhythm with the flickering of your headlights.

“Should we pull over?” Tom asked hesitantly.

“I don’t know, there isn’t anything but road for miles.” Then, without further warning your headlights went out. And they didn’t come back on. You kept waiting, slowing on the freeway until you were going thirty under, willing them to come back on, but they’d given out for good this time.

“Come on, y/n, this is dangerous, just pull over,” Tom said again, squeezing your hand.

You sighed bitterly and pulled onto the shoulder of the road by a fence overlooking a field.

“This is fucking fantastic,” you complained, feeling tears well up in your eyes. You were so tired, you just wanted to curl up in bed and go to sleep, but you still had at least fifty miles to go before you’d even get to, and who knew how long you’d be out here.

“It’ll be alright,” he said soothingly. “We should call, um, what is it you guys have over here?”

“Triple A,” you groaned and pulled out your phone.

“Want me to do it?” Tom asked, knowing how much you hated making phone calls.

“You’d do that?”

“Of course,” he said and winked at you. “Anything for you.”

You watched Tom dial the number and put the phone up to his ear and listened in as he started talking to the guy on the other end like he’d known him his entire life. You always forgot how charismatic and charming Tom could be when he wanted, not that he wasn’t with you, it was just different.

“Yeah, it’s both headlights,” he said and waited for the other guy’s response. “Where are we?” he asked.

“In between exits 435 and 439.”

Tom repeated what you’d just said to the guy on the phone. “Okay, great. Thanks. See you then.” He turned back to you with a grimace. “He said they’ll be out here in about two hours.”

“Two hours?” you repeated, instantly tearing up again.

“Yeah, I guess wherever they’re located is pretty far, but they’re on their way. He also said since both lights are out it’s probably a battery problem and we should turn off the car.”

You put your head in your hands and tried to take deep breaths. “We were so close.”

“We’ll still get to the Airbnb by tonight, we can just text the owners about what’s happening. I’m sure they’ll understand.” Tom, always the rational one, said soothingly.

“I know, you’re right. This just fucking sucks!” You put your car in park and turned off the ignition.

“It does,” he agreed softly.

It was eerily silent now that the engine was off and music wasn’t playing. Instead, you could hear crickets chirping in the distance and Tom’s steady breathing beside you. 

You figured you might as well take advantage of the break, however inconvenient, so you opened the door and stepped out onto the gravel to stretch your legs.

“Y/n, where are you going?” Tom called after you in concern. “This is a good place to get murdered.”

“This is a good place to dump a body,” you corrected him, which didn’t erase the worry on his face at all. If anything, it only increased it. “Don’t worry, I’m not going far.”

You stretched your arms and legs each for a few seconds before jumping up on the hood of your car, sticking your tongue out at Tom through the windshield, making him laugh. He wasn’t far behind you once he saw what you were doing and hopped up on the hood next to you.

The car shook under his weight as he slid next to you, sliding and arm underneath your head as you leaned back against the windshield together. And it was nice for a second before you remembered you still had about an hour and fifty-three minutes before you could go anywhere.

“Fuck me,” you cursed under your breath and banged a fist on the hood of your car in frustration.

“Hey, be nice to Edison,” Tom protested and you laughed at him calling your car by name. “I’m serious! He doesn’t deserve that!”

“He stranded us in the middle of nowhere!”

“Don’t people always say it’s the journey, not the destination?”

“Does it count as part of the journey if you’re not moving?” you asked.

“God you’re so bitter about everything, you’re lucky I love you.”

“I guess I am lucky.” You shrugged and rested your head on Tom’s shoulder.

“This is the part where you say you love me back.”

“Right, that too,” you said with a smirk and kissed him chastely on the lips.

With no light from civilization to pollute the atmosphere, the stars above you shone at their full capacity. You raised your free arm and started to point out constellations to Tom. You were mostly making them up, but he listened anyway, and laughed when you traced one you called ‘Orion’s Strap’ and again when you tried to convince him the group of stars to the left were actually a constellation of a cat.

After that you passed the time by listening to more music from his phone. He sang Almost (Sweet Music), your favorite from Hozier’s new album, word for word softly in your ear, and if you weren’t stranded in the middle of nowhere where traffic could pass at any moment, you would have blown him right then and there. You played with each other’s hair idly and Tom told you about the strange dreams he had last night. Stubbornly, you found yourself not wanting Triple A to show up just yet. You sighed deeply, regretting how bitter you had been earlier.

Tom turned his head towards you at the sound. “You okay, love?”

“Yeah,” you smiled at him, positive you looked as goofy and lovestruck as ever. “I’m okay.” I’m more than okay.

Tom just smiled back, taking your hand back in his like it had been earlier, before all of this, kissing your knuckles again like he had. You rested your other hand on the hood of your car, admitting to yourself that yeah, this was part of the journey. And yeah, it wasn’t too bad. Thanks Edison.

yooo that was sappy as fuck who am I, but uh lmk what you thought I always appreciate feedback

Forever Tags: @mischiefmanaged49 @bookingbee @cloverrover @captainbuckyy @perhaps-he-schnapped @awkwardfangirl2014 @the-queen-procrastinator @tastingthestarz @sleepybesson @everythingbooknerd @sunshine96love @bitchymathematician @livingincompletesilence @melsbooktrash @swim-deep-or-die @fizzy828 @spider-slutt @theamuz

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#tom holland #tom holland oneshot #oneshot #tom holland x reader #x reader #tom holland fanfic #ton holland x y/n #tom #tommy #mcu cast fanfic #mcu fanfic #in the dark

[novaseren]

My Top 5 Albums of 2019

1) Disguise - Motionless in White

Soooo, I have too much to say about this one, lol. When they announced it in April along with two songs, I died. I just knew I was going love the entire thing. Then Undead Ahead 2 came out and solidified that opinion. I was so happy in June when I finally got to listen to it; I really do love it, and it is something I see becoming my fave thing by MIW <3 I'm far too tempted to list every song as my fave l m a o.

Favourite Songs: Disguise; Headache; </c0de>; Legacy; Undead Ahead 2: The Tale of the Midnight Ride; Holding onto Smoke; Another Life; Brand New Numb.

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2) Sudden Sky - Crown the Empire

GOD. I've been excited for this album since 20/20. I was so happy when they released MZRY and finally announced the album <3 It's amazing and I'm in love with it, so-so much. I knew it was going to be something I loved this year, since they'd already said that it was going to be released, patiently waiting almost killed me and I'm so glad it came out in July and not, like, November. I dunno if I could have managed that long. It just missed out on my top spot, since I literally couldn't stop listening to Disguise, lol. This was another one where it became hard to pick just a few favourites. Honestly, it's absolutely fantastic :)

Favourite Songs: 20/20; what i am; BLURRY (out of place); MZRY; Under the Skin; SEQU3NCE; March of the Ignorant; Sudden Sky.

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3) amo - Bring Me the Horizon

I really enjoy this album, it's such a jam. I don't really care about what they make as long as they're happy. Maybe at some point, they'll regret this. BUT I WON'T. God, I was a little unsure at first, due to the initial fan reaction. Then I decided, fuck it. I can have my own opinion. So I gave it a whirl. This album s l a m s. I'm in love, I honestly can't stop listening to it <3

Favourite Songs: MANTRA; nihilist blues (feat. Grimes); in the dark; wonderful life (feat. Dani Filth); medicine; sugar honey ice & tea; mother tongue; heavy metal (feat. Rahzel).

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4) We Are Not Your Kind - Slipknot

I love this album, so Goddamn much; each song they released before the album just made me even more excited to hear the entire thing. I'm honestly blown away with how perfect this album is too, the way the songs flow into each other, and even the interludes play into it beautifully. God, plz help me, I'm so in love with it.

Favourite Songs: Unsainted; Birth of the Cruel; Nero Forte; Critical Darling; A Liar's Funeral; Spiders; Orphan; Solway Firth.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

5) Wasteland, Baby! - Hozier

I've been looking forward to music from Hozier since his debut album, the EP was amazing too and I just knew that I'd love this album. I love everything he makes, so this is definitely no exception to that.  As per usual, it's beautiful and amazing, I love listening to this when I just need to chill.

Favourite Songs: Nina Cried Power; Almost (Sweet Music); Movement; To Noise Making (Sing); Shrike; Be; Dinner & Diatribes; Wasteland, Baby!.

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I'm doing a couple of honourable mentions because there were so many good releases this year.

First: 'Coming Clean - Volumes', so this is an EP and only has five songs, all of them are amazing and I swear, the way Revenant flows into Until The End is just AMAZING. I've only been listening to this band since September last year, when I saw them live, supporting for Crown and I'm so happy. I love them so much and Myke is honestly one of my favourite singers ever.

Second: 'ASCEND by ILLENIUM', God, I've been listening to ILLENIUM since earlier this year when a streamer I watch was listening to them. Their music is SO CATCHY, I love everything about this album (faves: Good Things Fall Apart; That's Why; In Your Arms; Pray; Gorgeous.) and I was listening to it for quite a while even though it came out just after wanyk (which says a lot about my music tastes). Honestly, I just love it and ILLENIUM does an amazing job picking vocalists to sing on their songs. I have an ILLENIUM playlist that I just listen and chill to, lmao.

#motionless in white #crown the empire #bring me the horizon #slipknot #hozier #volumes #ILLENIUM #my opinion #disguise #sudden sky #amo #we are not your kind #wasteland baby! #coming clean #ASCEND