#havent met new people since high school

[bisexualspidermansblog]

why is it so much easier to make friends that are younger than me as opposed to people my age. pls i would love friends that are 20 👺🫰🏼

#lqbt #friends #too socially awkward #havent met new people since high school #class of 2020 #queer friendship #i like the mcu stranger things and a lot of other stuff too

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for insulting my best friend, and attacking her boyfriend? I (21 X) was best friends T (21 F). We met in high school and I really clicked with her, and we've been living together since we were both eighteen. Anyway. We do volunteer work together. It's mostly stuff like cleaning trash, distrubting food to the homeless, etc. Not super glamarous. During one of our projects, T met and started dating this new guy, A (24 M). I cannot stand A. He's really unpleasant towards me, and i feel like he's taking advantage of T. He's makes unfunny 'jokes' about my mental health. This was annoying, but w/e.

However over the last month he's been constantly disrespecting our volunteer work, and really laying into me. I've been arrested before for shoplifting, and A hangs it above my head. He often makes comments about i'm a bad influence on her, and that i'll get her arrested by proxy. [Sometimes we do kinda illegal things. But its strictly relegated to stuff like removing bars from benches and shit. Not hurting anyone] Recently T has started to become distant from me, and i think she believes what he's been saying. She's stopped volunteering with me, and barely lives in our shared apartment, staying around exclusivley with her boyfriend.

Anyway this came to ahead when A and T actually came to the apartment to grab somethings. I tried at first to ask T what was up, and why she was acting like that to me. Why she quit volunteering. She kept dodging the question. So i lost my temper and started yelling at her, about how she was a shitty friend and completely ghosted me over A, who was a complete dick. Mind you this has been going on for a month. A then decided i was being too aggresive [i was yelling at most. Both of them are at least a foot taller than me, and i am maybe 100 lbs. I was not a threat] and he tried to restrain me. This set me off, so i defended myself. Again, i did not have the phyical advantage, and was panicking really badly, so i started doing shit like biting him to get free [i'm not proud of that].

we eventually broke apart. T got A to agree to not press charges, but she layed into me about how i was a shitty person, and that A had made her realise how toxic i was. that i used good causes to justify continuing to break the law for fun, and that i probably had a personality disorder. she said she didn't hate me, but she'd only mend things if i changed. Then she left with A. its been a week and we havent talked

i kinda feel like i could be ta, due to the assault, but also being invasive towards T. i do have issues when it comes to paranoia, and there is a chance it was normal levels of people changing, and i just overblew it and turned it into the mess. but on the other hand, i still feel justified due to how A started things first, and T, despite being such a long term friend, completely ignored me and backstabbed me. So aita?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[sparklingsora]

I love your swap AU!! If it ain’t too much trouble can we get some more Vox x Vel headcanons for the AU?

Also... have you thought about... Velvette's version of Whatever It Takes?

some Cool Staticdoll Facts, coming right up! - they have seperate rooms at the hotel, on top of a shared bedroom (the bedroom later also becomes val's when they start dating him). it's best this way, because while they of course enjoy spending time together, they each also like having their own space (plus their tastes in interior decoration are completely different)

- they had a similar arrangement back in their old apartment

- speaking of said old apartment, it took them super long to confess to each other because of their living situation. basically, when they met, vox let velvette live with him since she was homeless at the time (her home got caught in the crossfire of a turf war shortly before the extermination where they met, it was why she was out during the extermination in the first place). so since they were living together they were both super scared of confessing bc if their feelings were not reciprocated then it'd be EXTRA awkward. - velvette eventually got a new apartment bc she values her independency, but ended up still living with vox most of the time anyway bc she liked it <:]

- velvette didn't really have any friends before vox. sure, she had mutuals, and acquaintances, but vox was her first true friend (she didn't have true friends on earth either - she was a popular mean girl type who peaked in high school and died in her 20's)

- vox is amazing at talking fast, patter songs, tongue twisters and the like. velvette is terrible at them. it pisses her off so much

- vox is self-conscious about the fact that he can't kiss people properly bc his stupid face is a flatscreen tv, but velvette LOVES his demon form. his kisses give that uhhh. fuck the english word for it escapes me at the moment, but when you take off a sweater for example and the electricity does a little 💥💥💥💥. they give that kind of effect and vel loves the sensation

as for whatever it takes, i remember deciding at one point to cut velvette from the veeswap version of that song and leave it as a carmilla solo, but for the life of me i cant remember why? so i guess i havent thought about it yet!

#askbox #veeswap au #staticdoll #voxvel #tysm for the ask!

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Adulting 101: How Jobs work

I feel like there is a LOT of terrible advice on the internet about getting a job, working a job, and leaving a job. So I am going to give some real advice that will help you out in the long run.

Welcome to Adulting 101

So for this I will be discussing the Core tenants

Getting a Job

Working the Job

Leaving the Job

and

The Farewell

(Note this is mainly for work in the Corporate sector but I can assure that applicable information can be applied to other Job areas.)

Getting a job

So you are fresh out of college, and now you realize those student loans arent gonna be paid by the government after all. So what are you going to do?

The answer is get a Job.

But how are you going to get one?

1. Connections:

-If you havent already, start with creating a Linkedin account and try to connect with every person you have ever met, especially if you are going into the field of work with the individuals.

After that, try searching LinkedIn for every person that is in a high position in the field you want to start your career. Most won’t respond, but some will and that is good for you.

Most people in the corporate world that get interviews for their first job with good companies are usually through connections. Leverage family, friends, old employment, old internships, etc.

-I also recommend staying in touch with your Alma mater, professors are usually people with connections and if they like you can help pull some strings. But if not, the school usually will have some sort of program that will help you get your first job. Though not all colleges have it, but its best to check.

-Always avoid sales jobs. Now some sales jobs are fine and legit, but its usually gonna end with the company taking the list of people you know and selling to them before tossing you aside. It burns your friends and Family’s good will. Thats usually the reason why at least once in your life you will have someone from high school reaching out to you about ‘A product or service’.

-Nurture the network. You want people to like you enough to recommend you for jobs, especially this early on. Your experience is garbage and you have no negotiating power. Unless you are from an Ivy league school and have a 4.0. You have no value in the eyes of the company alone. So your best bet is to lean on people you know.

2. Resume

-For the love of crap, work on your resume. Doesnt matter how good your connections are, if you made your resume out of crayon you are screwed. Take time to format it, look up some how to guides, ask some people you know how they worked their resume. It is not fun, but it is important. Resumes are what get people in the door in a lot of cases. The best resumes on online applications are filtered based on how close they fit the job description.

-Make sure to keep that resume updated and easy to edit so you can alter it to match a job description better. This is a trick to help improve the odds of selection.

-Same thing but with Linkedin, there are recruiters on Linkedin and other sites that search for canidates. Most of them are sales jobs, but some arent and you can leverage them if possible

-Since this is on Tumblr, I’m going to tell you this upfront, don’t put your pronouns in your resume. I was talking with a recruiter and that’s a thing they use to filter out so most online applications won’t see it. Mainly cause it’s seen as Filler and stuff like this will be addressed later.

3. Certifications and internships

-When you are new in the workforce, you will need ANYTHING to differentiate you from the crowd, having a certification in whatever is needed in your field is always a bonus. Granted these cost cash to get into, so this is more of a last resort when you are looking for your first job.

-Internships after college are often seen as a bit tough to manage since they usually dont pay as much as a real job (depending on the state or country, at all), but if one is unable to get a job, this is a ticket to building a network.

4. The Interview

-All of that work from the previous 3 subjects have led you to this moment, your interview. Now this is a make or break it moment and it is important to understand the following:

*Is this a multiround interview? (Will there be more than one?)

*Who am I interviewing with (The interviewer, the company, and for what job)

*What is the purpose of the interview? (Is this a formality? A job description?)

-Now it is crucial to know your resume inside and out. You need to speak to what you know. So be sure to know it well.

-Always answer in a way that puts you in a more positive light. But dont try the “My greatest weakness is working too hard” they can smell that bulls*** a mile away. If you had to describe a negative, make it seem like you are working to fix it. This demonstrates you can look at yourself objectively and makes it seem like you are more of a genuine person. My go too response is “I have a habit of hyper focusing on a task until it is complete, but I have been working on focusing on what has the highest priority.”

-At the end of the interview, make sure to have questions prepared to ask the interviewer, and dont ask about salary. (Salary is asked after the job is offered, and usually you will usually hear about the salary range before going in, or the official number AFTER they give the offer). My go to question is asking “What are three traits someone would need to have to thrive in this position?” But do try and think of your own

-Dont be nervous, remember that this will likely not be the only interview you will have, especially with how desperate people are to get workers. So you will get a few. Just do your best, you got this.

_______________________________________________________________________

Working the Job

You did it, all that hardwork and dedication had paid off, you got your first job.

Or maybe this is your second job. But most importantly, its work with a salary. The most tedious part is over, next is where the real work begins.

1. Adjusting to work

This period of time will you learning all you can about your job, this is the 30-60-90. AKA, the Trial period.

Show up a bit early and leave a bit later (unless your commute is over an hour. Then you just try to be as close to on time as possible.)

Your first 30 days is you finding out where everything is, how it works, who you interact with to get work done, and find the bathroom. This is where the expectations for you as an employee are at their most lenient. Dont take this as a rest opportunity, You are meant to learn as much as possible about how to do your job. (also connect with all the people on your team on Linkedin)

The next 30 days are your real test. Likely will be given your first real assignment if it wasnt given already. This is where you need to knock it out of the park. Crush that first assignment. Show everyone you are a pleasure to work with, Be compassionate yet driven. This is the ‘Prove yourself phase’

The last 30 days is the “Dealmaker” here is where you get to show your impact on the company. Your work must be consistent and must be solid. You can be allowed some error, but dont focus too much on it. This is where you show what you learned and are a part of the company. After you make it past this stage, you are likely to not have to worry about being fired. That doesnt mean your safe. It just means you are officially a part of the company.

-Now from here on out this is your chance to grow in however you want. Do you have ideas that you think would make things better? Give them a go, try discussing them with your boss, see what he/she thinks of them. You think there is a sector of the company you would work better in, use this position as an opportunity to grow closer and maybe transfer. Just be sure to keep your work consistent

2. Time to excel

So this is where you start career building. You want to make the big money. You want to be strong and independent with the fat stacks? You gotta work bitch.

You gotta take initiative, when there is an opportunity to shine to the higher ups, take it. Not every opportunity will be given. But sometimes there are ones that are gift wrapped.

Do NOT over extend yourself.

This is important, yes you want to stand out, but over extending yourself just to impress can cause your original work to suffer. You need to know your limits. And be willing to ask for help when needed.

Don’t talk smack about your boss, or other coworkers.

In the game of office politics, you never want to give someone an opportunity to make you look bad. Be respectful, and keep any complaints or issues you have with someone objective.

Take responsibility. Don’t try and blame others when something fails. Own up to it and ask for ways to improve. That shows character and in the game of career building, that’s a solid way to show you are capable and bold.

____________________________________________

Leaving a job

So you find yourself working at this job and you realize. I hate it here. Now the first instinct is to quit and figure it out later. Or the term “Quiet Quitting” which is doing the bare minimum required and ride it out. Let me correct this by showing you what to do.

Figure out the Why.

Why do you hate your job now? It’s actually the simplest step. Usually boiling down to the following

1. My boss sucks.

Most employees end up quitting their jobs because of their boss. Either they are critical, take credit for your work, blame you for their mistakes, make you work late. Preventing you from taking vacation. Or insert specific reason here.

If the boss is the only reason you hate the job, then this is where you can start by requesting transfers to other areas of the company. Make an effort to find someone you wouldn’t mind working under, or find a way to show that your boss is violating your rights and agreements. If you can get a recording or emails to show to HR, than you can find ways of dealing with the horrible boss. Though if all else fails, then it’s time to consider leaving.

2. You need higher pay

If your company doesn’t give pay raises, and you find yourself not progressing a more favorable direction, then it’s time to discuss with your boss your concerns. Now if your boss is reasonable and not like a boss from reason 1, they will likely take into account the work you do and try to get you the raise.

But that’s only if you are working hard. Demanding more money but not doing anything more than what the job is asking won’t net you a pay raise unless you are exceeding expectations. In truth most companies would like to not lose workers, so voicing a concern would be a good way to get more cash.

Though if you are working hard and going above and beyond yet still not getting the money you deserve. It’s time to search for a place that will. Don’t quit yet, find the new job first and than leave.

It’s common curtesy to let the company know with a two week notice. That’s mainly so you don’t entirely burn connections. If you don’t care about the company, just quit.

Side note, and THIS IS CRUCIAL

If your company hears you are leaving and tries to match it. DONT take it. It’s a ploy. They will look for your replacement as soon as you accept the deal. They know you are finicky and looking. If you accepted a job offer, DONT BACK OUT.

3. This is not the career I want

You realize that this just isn’t where you want to be for the next couple of years. That’s fine. In fact, good on you for recognizing that you aren’t content with your work. But that begs the question, what Do you want.

At this time, stay working while you do research. No need to quit if you don’t know what it is you want. Maybe you want to be focused on different things but still in the same company. Transfers are more common and it’s easier to move and employee than lose one. So if you like where you work but not what you do, maybe see what other options there are in house before leaving.

But if you really want to go after something then find yourself peeping for that path. And when you are ready to go, then quit. Be polite and cordial. It wasn’t them it’s you. A two week notice would be the polite thing in this case.

The Farewell

Things aren’t working out with your current job and you’ve decided it’s time to leave. Ensure the following.

1. You have another opportunity lined up

2. You connected with everyone worth while

3. You have your letter/email of resignation ready to go

Now if your opportunity has a time before it starts. Great time for quiet quitting. You are basically out the door, you can take it easy. So enjoy these last moments before you leave and get ready for the next step in life.

____________________________________________

Thank you for reading my advice column on how to properly Navigate work.

And if things work out, remember what you read.

Life may not always perfectly line up, but there is a right way of approaching it.

Best of luck

(Note: This does not guarantee that all will go according to plan but it is the building blocks of what Is important)

#adulting 101 #work #gale’s advice #I work a 9-5 #so I know

[nighthaterfrfr]

this is jst

hi

imma make this intro short but, alilex bies and how they met :3 ???

(imma jst pull from @jben073 be she's right. benny's a god and the smartest person to make this shit)

-alice and lex have known abt each other for a while, but when alice started to date deb, thats when she started to go hang w her friends in the smoke club. lex sells to the smoke club, and occasionally hangs out there. so, yk they know each other, havent talked a lot, mostly acquaintances

-now w watcher world, its v obvious that blinky was trying to fuck w alice and suppose that deb hooked up w ziggy at her party while alice was in watcher world. canon aside, i like to think for this, they did hook up while alice was gone, and they were found out by alice maybe a month or two after this.

-where the fuck does lex come into play? well she denounced deb as soon as the whole smoke club finds out. quickly cut ties w zigay too. she tries to find alice, and succeeds, although talking to other people is hard if you only ever illy talk to your boss, your sister, and your shitty mom.

-to her surprise, alice takes comfort in lex trying her best to help her out, so they go from acquaintances to friends the more time they spend togehter

-mainly be i think alice is tutoring lex to help get her ged

-more tutoring they have, the closer they get. alice realizes she's catching feelings and is trying to avoid them.

-but one day, she asks lex to read a new script she made up, mear as a school project. as lex reads, alice admires. she admires everything about this girl. and as lex finished reading, she ended u mumbling the words "god, i rily like you." after

-alice ofc is embarrassed and wants to get away, but lex holds her wrist gently. reassuring that her feelings are reciprocated.

-id like to think they kiss after, but more i think thats better is there a mess, blushing stupid mess. where would they go next?

and thats where like

my other bagillion hes go in play

-SO hannah knows abt this. be first lex tells her a lot and second, shes not a dumbass. seeing her sister and the friend she's bringing over a blushing mess like

hello?

-alice is so nice to hannah, not great with kids, but hannah is very chill in her eyes. she learns how to take care of her quick, and as lex starts dating alice, they go on like little outings

jst hannah, her sister, and her sister's gf

-no matter how much lex is the scary like "fuck you bitch" partner, alice is much scarier. like can you imagine this girl like you fucked up lex a little bit and alice brings out a big ass notebook to hit you over the head

-bill’s so unsure of lex, since first she smokes, second she kinda dropped out of high school, and third she’s known for being a mean person?

but when seeing her w hannah and alice, and seeing how much happier she is now w lex, bill likes her better. long as she doesn’t cheat on her.

-also last one alice def didnt tell her dad. at all. he found out when she snuck lex in one day and he jst knocked on her door, and here lex was hiding in alice’s closetz

she fell out of it 💀

#starkid #hatchetfield #team starkid #lex foster #alice woodward #alice woodward x lex foster #alilex #tgwdlm #black friday #bill woodward #hannah foster #hatchetfield headcanon

[assaultvvyvern]

speaking of winx au i already have some things in mind for the gx portion of it. bare in mind i havent met all the characters yet and in still at s1 but n e way under cut!

judai yuki: fairy of elements and secretly the new nymph of souls. from magix city. wanted to be a fairy since he was a wee baby and now he gets to go to alfea! can see people's souls s1!bloom style except i dont drop the idea and it actually goes somewhere

jun manjome-princeton: fairy of thunder, prince of wysperia (THE kingdom of witches) and not in line from the throne unlike his older witch brothers. the first and only fairy being born in the manjome bloodline, he's actually very self-conscious about this but hides it by being the most arrogant bitch ever. his father is the former witch king of callisto, jun got his thunder domain from him (allegedly)

sho marufuji: fairy of machinery, from zenith. from a family of computer techs, he's the first fairy born after a long time. doesn’t really know how he got past the alfea entry exam but suddendly this very excited boy is talking to him and sho clings to him like a lifeline

hayato maeda: redfountain student from melody. didn't want to be there in the first place but his father is an high guard of the emperor of melody and was put there to not "embarass [his] family". he really doesn’t like fighting, but he’s a GREAT mechanic and armor designer! his knight holo-medal color is orange.

bastion misawa: witch of sciences, from espero. one of the two current best cloudtower students and interested in all kinds of magic and how they can interact with his domain. his dream is to live and work on zenith, where he thinks his way of thinking can be truly accepted and appreciated.

asuka tenjoin: captain of specialist team alpha and redfountain student, crown princess of stalax since her brother's disappearance. her weapon of choice is a rhytmic gymnastics-like holo ribbon that acts as a whip and more. very respected student and loved by her team and peers, they call her the "redfountain queen". her knight holo-medal color is ice blue.

zane marufuji: witch of techno-singularity, from zenith, also one of cloudtower's best students! big brother of sho.

general instigating plot is going to be that the schools are working together to improve witch-fairy-knight relationships, and some students move to alfea and viceversa. teams are formed to pass certain challenges and study together. judai + sho + hayato + bastion are one team, while asuka + jun + zane are another.

#au: so much for fairy dust #cant fucking wait to add more to this OMFGGGGG #gael txts

[imasaliveastheplanet]

I in the past on here have made refrence to my "husband" and i feel the need to talk about it my boyfriend thinks journaling will help me but ive decided screaming into the void is better

To talk about him we first have to talk about my friend ill call him E now ive known E since i was 13 we dated for a little while then we broke up which ud think is where that ends but no i dont entirely understand/ remember clearly how it happened but we ended up being fuckbuddies which continued on till i was either 15 or nearly 16 during this time he had went from normal and nice to emotionally abusive which on the rare occasion went physical at some point during this time frame he had sa'd me

Again any normal person would completely cut this person off i didnt. He and a friend had theorised it could of been stockholm syndrome of some form keeping me around as i was still in love with him but thankfully he started to be less abusive and eventually it stopped and that love was gone

Then i met joey

Joey is allegedly an alter inside his head which he had told me about when i first met him

(DISCLAIMER: What imabout to say next in no way reflects people who had DID or OSDD in any form im nearly 100% sure joey was a manipulation tactic)

One of the first things E rold me about joey was that he killed 3 people and doctors said he was like an extrmely improved verion of E now the murder part was very easily debunked and later on when i asked him about it the talking to a doctor at all about joey was debunked but eventually once E had his fun abusing me he let me meet joey and he and i fell for eachother and E wasnt happy with that but he put up with it.

I had a real emotional attachment to him i made him promise he was real and i wasnt being used and he wouldn't leave (i have quite strong attachment issues due to all the men in my family either dying or leaving) and he wpuld alwsy reasure me we even called eachother our husbands and had a wee ceremony (only me and E were there because i wasnt allowed to tell anyone)

I would talk to him every dayuntil slowly E had had his fun and suddenly joey disappeared me and E havent spoken in months he would get angry if i mentioned joey to anyone

I think its also worth mentioning he would get upset and uncomfortable if i were to date or flirt with anyone infront of him. He would tell me new information about what i was to him infront of people as in in conversation such as i was just a rebound when he would tell me all the time i wasnt.

He also told me that my relationship with a mutual ex girlfriend wasnt real because it wasnt as long as his and while we dated (me and E) he would mope about and stare at her

He also pretended to be addicted to weed, pretended to come to school high dispite not looking high or smelling like weed , and told me his friend OD'd on weed

All this and part of the abuse was emotionally abusing me out of self harm "for my own good" which lead me to abuse solvents and starve myself more

#tw ed related #tw sa mention #tw abuse #tw sh related #tw #tw solvent #solvent #tw od mention #tw vent #vent post

[thatfuckincat]

im actually so fucking mad right now. holy shit. Wow! i havent felt this frustrated in years if i do remember right! typing this to avoid having a breakdown in the middle of school in fact!

Music related vent below

Context: I love singing. Music in general is my favorite thing ever, and singing is easy and fun, since ive done it since 1st grade. However, in the summer before my 7th grade year, puberty hit and notably to this story: my voice dropped a whole 2 octaves. My falsetto disappeared, i had to relearn notes in the bass clef, i kept accidentally going an octave down, and a host of problems with projection. But i could deal with those just fine, only took a year or two and i was goin strong again.

Except for one area.

now, I could get lower than anyone else ive ever met in person (A1-C2), but on the flipside, I couldn't even get higher than F3 on a GOOD day!

I only found out i was accidentally going an octave down in 8th grade, and when i tried to correct it, i couldnt hit the notes! in choir i could only get to maybe 60% of the notes, and barely 20% of them in showchoir!

But thats not all, no way. I found that notes above around C3 actively strained my voice to the point where my throat would hurt and eventually just *close* after singing them for an hour or so. which cut down the notes i could consistently practice even MORE!

This lasted another 6 bloody years, and only got worse when i realized i was trans cause ⭐️Dysphoria⭐️. Most of my current self esteem issues can be tracked back to half of my vocal range being completely useless in all but a couple songs per year, even though nowadays i can get to and stay a note or two higher atleast.

Of course, until now. I finally figured it out. It all started a week or two ago when i was talking to my choir director about it. He told me something revolutionary: Apparently, not everyone has that problem when they go high! apparently most people's voices just crack at a specific point when they go too high! So i got to experimenting. i kept trying to figure out what i was doing wrong with my voice, and as of 1 hour ago i have succeeded.

What was the problem? what was causing me monumental frustration and sadness for a 3rd of my life?

Mother. Fucking. Placement.

It was as simple as adjusting my jaw a bit to open my vocal chords, and placing the sound at the front of my mouth. I did it by ACCIDENT!

THE ROOT CAUSE OF SO MANY OF MY GOD DAMN ISSUES AND I FIXED IT BY FUCKING ACCIDENT!

And 1 month before i graduate no less. i get to take advantage of this new knowlege for 2 performances.

just.

this was the reason i never even tried to join higher choirs. this was the reason i never thought i could get a career involving performing. The reason i was resigned to just keeping music as a hobby in private. My hatred of my own voice was a solid half of the reason i considered suicide.

i dont even know what to do now. I want a career in performing, but i let so many opportunities to sing more slip by cause who would want a voice that cant even hit middle C? who had to pretend to sing more often than not?

i certainly didnt.

#Hope the readmore works #i dont usually get personal on tumblr. dont like causing sadness #even if its for me #but i think i will just this once #To preface: dont worry about me. Ill feel better soon. #I always do. #reblog if you want i guess. #me #vent #might not post this #i dont know #feels better just to get my thoughts into written form. #just. wow. #i dont think i explained well enough how important music and ESPECIALLY singing is to me. #i doubt i could. #I dont think i could live without it. #even with how much i came to hate my voice over the years #At my worst it was the only thing keeping me going #giving me any sense of joy #(so no suprise that it also fucked me so hard eh?) #sigh #Its just so hard to process how. easy. it was. #a goddamn accident. #probably a good thing im not on estrogen yet after all. #bigger emotions is hardly something i need right now HAH #and question of my life. what now? #i dont know. i really dont. #oh i should probably #tw: sucidal thoughts #better safe than sorry

[hwanhd]

hi everyone, red (21+, they/them), here with my lovely boy, klein lee hwan! he's been a trainee for 4 years overall (2 years in an old ent, and another 2 to current in kiss studio) trainee number #111! below holds information about him + possible threads! (as i havent work on a plot page yet) dossier / plot page / playlist / moodboard

klein lee aka and now is being addressed as lee hwan, is born from new york! around four years old, his family moved from the states and to seoul due to his father shifting jobs and hence needing to migrate

hwan is a child actor, having to act at the age of 3 in an american's children show (think: barney and friends, life action blues clue) and around 5 y/o after migrating, he got a role as a child actor for a korean saeguk drama where he was the younger ver of the male lead but unfortunately theres been a lot of bad comments tw: racism, verbal abuse / whereby he's been told he's too 'mixed' to act in a saeguk while citing his awkward acting + bad korean pronunciation. (mind you, hwan's first language is english)

due to this backlash and as a fragile child, hwan went into hiding/became a shut in for 2 years but while he was in isolation, he discovered the world of soundcloud and rapping, hence making it his interest!

when his 2 years isolation ends in 2017, he uploaded his first original, 'child'

around jan 2018, he's scouted thru his soundcloud to audition for kiss studio. march 2018 is his when he started his journey as a trainee.

he's currently four years and 9 months into his training period.

his goals aside from debuting is to be able to compose professional for his future group and solo debut (eventually and hopefully!!)

here comes the plots i may interested to connect with!!

childhood friends whom was his first friend after moving to korea! coincidentally said friend wanted to be an idol/artist first while hwan was into the acting industry... years down the line they meet again!

someone whos seen him act and is nosy to ask what had happened to him (which hwan does not mention as its still a sore memory to him even after all those years)

fellow 'oldie' trainee line, even if they arent in the same label, perhaps they came across each other in music camp?? idk

friendly rivals from trainee days till present (or actual rivals ((that could possibly debut together))) tho preferably if they are in the same labels but not necessary

a muse?? perhaps hwan's first crush in his early years of being a trainee??? or someone hes just fascinated with and had treat him with enough kindness for him to write songs about and of and for. (alternatively: your muse whom he writes about has discovered his lyrics/composition. and extra alternatively: if instead of knowing the song is about your muse, ends up teasing about mark possible crush on other people).

first's, trainees dont date but somehow your muse is acquainted with hwan and are both curious teens since they're both around the same age. behind closed doors, they tried kissing and experimenting but the relationship never worked out. (alternatively: if they were found out and one of them had to transfer labels, or other bad consequences. or the better ending, is that the both agree to put the curiosity to a stop mutually). (and if they ever met again down the line, would they regret seeing each other??)

older training period muse who gets jealous over hwan (i.e: inferiority complex/out of spite/feeling like the company is treating hwan better)

and lastly for now, a friend who he can do crazy things with (i.e: with hwan being homeschooled and then completely dropping out in junior high before he joined kiss studio, is then dragged by your muse in school uniform to muse's school to experience hwan's first step into an actual school), or if your muse ever finds hwan in the act of weakness and would comfort him and see thru his mental illness (and relapse from recalling his childhood)

#intro #his dossier still lacks info (for me) but most of his basic deets are there

[polyamorouspunk]

Not so angry but my polycule partners all live 3 hours away from me and I don't get to take time off work until the summer because we're busiest at spring (i work at a garden centre) so I havent seen them since new years day (for my throuple) or valentines (for my boyfriend) and i miss them like hell. sucks cuz i had to ask for a special allowance to have day off for next week because my dad is getting married and even though hes not my favourite parent to put it lightly and it taking place 4 hours away i felt obliged to go because of how he's given me a big financial deposit towards buying a house in the future (like thatll happen in this economy lol). I'd rather be snuggling with my throuple or watching my boyfriend play video games than having to deal with my extended family misgendering me and dead naming me ya know. Guess this was a bit of a rant aha

I feel that. I’m tired of people having friends and hanging out with people. I haven’t seen my friends since last August and unless my aunt dies before next August, which is looking more and more like a possibility, I’m not going to see them until them. My best friend has a bunch of other friends she’s met since high school and is living her best life going to concerts of the bands I got her into with her friends and having tons of sex etc. etc. and I know it’s not roses for her but still. My other best friend finally graduated college after putting in her 4 years to get a degree and I’m not really sure what she’s up to tbh and tbh she probably doesn’t have any friends either but. One person I talk to daily just goes to concerts and stuff all the time and has gay sex with multiple people multiple times a week and said they’re now maybe joining a polycule and I’m like cool the one person I like has been in AZ for a month getting a divorce and also we’re not on the best of terms. The other person I talk to every day is also in a polycule but feels underappreciated by his boyfriend which I get but I don’t really relate to either of them and I only talk to them because no one else talks to me daily except my ex who I’m thankful for and one other person (hi). My FP has been away for months like I’ve said and everyone here knows because I don’t shut up about it and everyone is sick of me talking about it and hearing about it and we aren’t even getting along that well but in the past 3 years he is the only person I’ve hung out with outside of my ex here. Hearing him complain that someone he was supposed to go out with bailed when he asked if they could come over his house like you have people you’re hanging out with though. Like every time I talk to him he’s like “I’m busy doing tattoos” like okay. Like I’m sorry your life sucks and I get being a full time parent to a kid with special needs while having a retail job and being in a messy divorce is hard. I do. But you spend your free time drinking with the girl you live with and giving each other tattoos and I guess going out with other people you’ve met there and meanwhile you are my only friend that I’ve made in 3 years and unfortunately I’ve become obsessed with you because I don’t have anyone else.

I get when you have to do something and you take a day off it’s like “finally I have a day off and I should be doing something I want to because I have a day off” but it’s not really a day off it’s “I need to fill an obligation I don’t really want to fulfill” and especially when you’re watching everyone you love doing things without you and you’re stuck with your same family that sucks (luckily my family is great but). I hope you do buy a house where you can come home to your partners every day. Hopefully at least time away from busy work will be better in the downtimes you’ll have to yourself around the wedding.

#I get feeling stuck in one place like you can’t come out and then when you do it’s for something you don’t even want to go to #punk gets mail

[anissapierce]

'bc coco got a job that means that he was an adult when they first met i cant believe they didnt retcon it in the sequel'

They....did though ...(full argument under tag bc i just rmbrd read more exists)

We see aged up coco n nutts and if they were adults in yes pre ... They wouldnt look the way they do in the show.When you see the comparioan pre and post time skip its obvious that this teen to adult. They grow likw three full heads taller. What eighteen year old growa that much taller..also we see a flashback of coco n nozomi at nozomis high achool n cocos wearing a high school uniform too and doesn't look out of place amongst the high schoolers...

Like otona kept it vaguer than ppl wouldve liked and i understand the teacher part is troubling and sets a bad example for kids and keeping it it otona is a problem. But saying that otona did nothing just isn't true. Also they stated that like for however many years its been since nozomi started college to now that coco hasnt visited her.

They're trying to fix mistakes they made...not unlike how tokyo mew mew new changed things. Making it love at first sight though yeah thats a change i fully disagree with because it makes it worse. And I understand the point theyre trying to make that bc coco n nozomi were fated loves that immediate love comes from tht....

Ok also the age and teacher stuff rlly has ppl not even touching the fairy stuff? She stuffed him into her backpack bc he was annoying. All of the fairies rely on the precure to help them get their kingdom back which puts all of the fairies in a tricky position. Like we know the precures rnt gonna let them down. But like its not a sure thing for the fairies.

Coco was technically her teacher for two years but theres so few classroom scenes in Go!Go! that its easy to forget he was a teacher.

My closing statement is that i understand if you feel like this is too morally dubious and that you disagree with it being in the show at all. And i know i sound like a scumbag going 'here me out' over a talking stuffed animal that turns into and an adult woman who met this stuffed animal when she was fourteen year old. But mostly im just tired of people trying to present shit without the full context. Bc it has ppl who havent watched the show come away with something that isn't true

#xxaso

[ohbuckie]

What’s new with you Bestie?

hi sorry i havent been active heres whats new with me:

- i got a new job! server position to work over breaks. havent started yet and am terrified to give my two weeks at my summer/winter job that i’ve worked at since high school

- i havent done any christmas shopping

- i’m anxiously awaiting my final grades for the semester. pray for my history class.

- somebody shoved a razor blade into my tire while i was parked on the street overnight the night before last and i had to get it fixed and i think i’m going to be mad about it forever

- i smoked with other people for the first time in years last night (i smoke by myself almost every day but my friend rolled a blunt before a few of us met for dinner yesterday so we stopped at my house to hotbox my car) and remembered very quickly why i hate doing that so i quickly lied that i felt sick and wanted to rest and have been ignoring texts all day

- i’m considering getting a non-hormonal iud so if u have one let me know how that’s going for you

[cheekycherry20]

Yea y’all guessed it. I’m still sad. It’s even worse knowing I’m doing it to myself. My health has taken an extreme toll these pass couple of weeks, I’m pretty sure I had a seizure on Saturday. But there’s nothing I can do, I’m not in control of any of my life situations.

I started working with kids for a good reason. And when I got the job I was honestly suprised. But I was ready to start a career. I made sure I payed attention, I studied, and I was receptive. I didn’t think anyone at my job really liked me, but it was ok. I started working with a kid (the sweet boy I refer to in a couple of old posts) and he completely changed my life. Everything started making sense. I was trying to get an adult drivers permit as well. I havent able to get an appointment at the dmv, but I always try. I finally felt like I was good at something, helping him helped me! I felt on top of the world! At the time, my job had a really annoying insurance policy, so I wasn’t allowed to work with certain kids. I complained every second of the day. I had my first depressive episode of the year, and I felt like everyone at the job hated being at me. The only way out was to get my license for my profession. So I scheduled my test. Soon for my sweet boy, he would start speech therapy. Another life changer. I met his speech therapist and I knew I wanted to be just like her. And it made so much since why working with my sweet boy has more appeal and came so easily to me. We were signing, and I was literally giving him a voice.but he was moving soon. I was his last therapist at my location. I started hanging out with my coworkers outside of work. They’re my first real friends I’ve ever had. I took my test and I passed. I was still sad about not seeing my baby (and not seeing a speech therapist) but my biggest issue was that I wasn’t getting hours at the job. The insurance policy thing was over (FINALLY) ! After I passed my test and complained about hours, I was finally full time. A little bit before sweet boy left, I started working with a girl close to my age. She has been difficult to work with, not because I don’t like her, but because I know I can’t help her. Of course she had other factors going on at home, but I always revert to negative self talk first. There’s nothing that I can do that will insure her independency in her adulthood and I hate myself for that. I hate not being able to help people. The kids go into emotional behaviors and I don’t know what to do sometimes. I’ve started to hate what I do for a living, because it’s not coming easily for me anymore. We’ve hired new people, and the good ones are leaving, so it’s no longer a welcoming and friendly environment. The kids come in after school so I’ve lost my hours. I still haven’t gotten my adult drivers permit either, and I can’t move out without it. My mental health has gone down tremendously. I want say it started after my sweet bit left but I don’t know. My teeth hurt because my jaw is always clenched, My cheat and back hurts because of the hyperventilation from panic attacks, I’m breaking out in hives from stress and my family has stopped talking to me. I’m usually care free when I’m high, but I’ve been getting paranoid lately so I can’t even enjoy myself. And the worst part is that my problems aren’t even that big compared to everyone around me. I feel like I’m always begging for attention.I don’t want to kms now., but I know I’m going to think about it constantly until I do. There’s so many things that I KNOW will make my situation better, but until I get my drivers license I can’t start on anything. I’m trapped in the cycle with no foreseeable way out.

[ibolyafagyi]

social pressures eating my ass up.......... i freak out about making new irl contacts online, as in adding someone i met in real life ; and im also insecure trying to measure up with my few instagram numbers on my private account. because my numbers are low, its like im elevating the ppl that i do have contact with, like those 20 ppl are my bffs, which is not at all true. its a couple past dating app matches, a really few legit friends, a few of their friends, loose university contacts.

i want everyone to see me quietly, unknowingly, and know that im interesting.

i dont want to make new contacts.

i dont want to be "someone who cares about this".

so many ppl from my major have hundreds of followers, insta baddies, strangely preoccupied with a niche aesthetic, that at the end still feels alien to me. i wanna be like that, but also i havent been collecting contacts since years ago, and i feel like i still dont do it "right" currently, i dont wanna add new contacts... i dont want to look at and care for other people, i want people to care for me, reinforce me!

i feel like i need a token friend in my learnt language (my major). it feels, seems easy for others to do, n i feel like im late again, just like in all my teens about making friends and making steps in socialization. i am at the same time literally running from the exchange student i ended up in contact with. and it makes me feel small that i dont wanna meet her. and if i think about my therapist picking at this and asking why, i get soooo annoyed. ik its telling something, it may be regressive to not engage, but i wont cuz i have a lot on my plate rn, even if i miss this specific opportunity. might be bc of the selfishness of give me x, but i dont wanna give you anything.

reading back, all this seems so juvenile. its not like people have more authentic connections cuz they have instagram contacts.

i hate my therapist for making these problems so everyday in their nature, like what steps can we do to do that simple thing that im insecure about. in my brain i know it, i have the voice telling me it, that its not glorious and not dramatic and not huge, but i dont internalize ngl!!! cuz i hate the ungloriousness of it!! i preemptively feel stupid about them. i take them seriously, but it feels like this sentiment wants to cancel that, emotionally. they are huge things for me, and it feels so dissatisfying that others are incapable of seeing me/it that way, that its just another small thing for them, my big step a dust in their universe..... is that self-centeredness and immaturity? i mean yea. is it also perhaps a wound? i mean it could be?

i have other friends i havent written back to in a year. i have my high school classmates i was never comfortable with. ik its mostly about getting over it. no ones even forcing my hand to be besties with anyone, to go back and befriend my high school class at a reunion. it just comes back exactly because im stressed and insecure ----------

this loneliness sucks so fucking bad!

i hate overindulgent introverts bc this is that side of me! wallowing in own sadness. i wanted to believe i just have to believe in connection with other people, but it doesnt necessarily work just like that. i cant know. i cant decide. i cant just go in and feel fine and connected always. the answer to this particular step isnt "just suck it up and extrovert more". its not "introvert and find yourself cool by yourself" either.

i dont want it to be "stop thinking about yourself so much" either. cuz come on >:( i have to be between people all day everyday, changing situations, how could i stop perceiving my percepted perception! instagram is that perception hyperrealized. its an imitation and caricaturization of that same reality, but also it *is* a part of reality, its not like its not. ugh

[decayinghearg]

why do all my friends have so much more fun than me ??? we all do basically the same things since we are together 85% of the time but why are they so relaxed ?? they arent stressed like ever ?? i think we were just raised different. i had to be stressed and anxious abt everything to survive. now i feel like i can only have fun when im high, because when im high im not anxious. my mind finally can take a break and i can pause every racing thought i have. they judge me and the fact that im high all the time but i bet if they were me they would want to be high all the time too. it makes me so mad when my bsf ridicules me for smoking everyday. at least im not cutting myself or in the hospital every other month like i used to be. nothing in my life is super negative unless you wanna count how much i smoke. i just can never relax. its always been like that. to relax (not really relax but cope) when i was 13-14 i would just watch anime and cut myself all up in down my arms until i had no more space. now i do the same thing but im smoking weed and happy. if thats helping me cope why is it so bad? reallt tho. whats the worst outcome for smoking weed. the first time i ever smoked weed was september 2021. i was with my bsf (at the time) and my neighbor let us hit his cart. i didnt smoke many times after that until july 2022. since it was summer, i would go over my friends house and he was dating that same friend from the first time i ever smoked. they are still my best friends. from july thru september i would smoke maybe three times a month. until august i met a friend. i was having issues with my july thru september friends so i would hang out with this new friend, he smoked a lot of weed. we would hang out every weekend and get so high i could not walk. around october-november ish, i bought a cart. idk how many but the first one i bought was in october. i didnt have a battery so i would make a crack wire. the friend from sep 2021 found out abt this and called me a fiend, idk and basically just made me feel like shit. even tho !! she smokes every single day… i felt bad abt that. in january i bought my first eighth for a party i thru at my house. february 1st 2023 i bought a cart and a battery and the cart was finished before march. idk why i am writing all of this for tumblr to see. i guess ive just been upset with people judging me for coping in a way thay helps me. i say that but i see myself being too obsessed with weed. in october 2021 with those two friends, i was sucking on that fucking cart my neighbor gave me all night. im always the friend who is down to smoke no matter what. idk maybe i feel this way ibecause my bsf always judges me w how much i smoke. moral of the story, i smoke too much and i dont plan on stopping. i hope this doesnt bite mw in the ass and my whole life crumbles. i dont think it will. i applied to like 10 jobs, i go to school almost everyday, i havent cut since november, things r looking up.

[uglypastels]

I havent kept up with any of the members since they disbanded really but Harry is just the one I see most and yeah I agree he wasn't giving anything really back then. He was just a pretty face and now that he's solo we can really see his talent. Im still not a fan but I do think he's talented and its nice to see he's more than what he was in 1D. Might be a controversial thought lol sorry if I offend anybody

I used to be a HUGE Niall fan and my family still pokes fun at me for it cuz it was so random. I also used to sing 1D songs on Skype with my friends (with the old lyrics videos up as well) in like 7th or 8th grade the cringe I have to deal with remembering these days lmao I was just a cringe Niall fan lol like I can listen to the music still but I hate going back to the memories😆 i had posters of Niall and I took like a picture of his face to school...like kill me lmao (sorry if you cringe at this, just know im cringing too) its all jokes now but omg 👀 what was i on lmao

I feel like Louis fans were rare, I never met anybody that liked him so thats a first. Did you ever get weird reactions for liking him?

Tiramisu cake and tea slaps. Thats one of my favorites. But yeah id imagine any cake and tea is good. Hopefully your cake is good dry and wet tho. I havent baked a cake in forever, I've been wanting to but im too broke for the ingredients and the actual supplies. So im sending my inner baker to you, hope she does something for your cake LOL

I used to have an entire shrine-esque corner in my room covered in 1d posters and stuff. I still have my louis poster up (signed may i add 😜 personlised too)

And yeah i didnt know many people who were louis girlies but that just made me feel superior. Although in general, at my school there werent a lot of people who were into them (my two friends both likes niall the mlst tho, which is so valid)

Have you seen the tiktok of the girl that carried around a cardboard cutout of Niall to school? And it became like a recurring joke in their senior yearbook. Iconic.

Also funfact, like many i remember the Day very well. High school, we were coming home from a school trip and we were sitting in a bus. It was the guy in my class that was actually called Zain(!!!) That broke the news to us (unrelated, i had a crush on the guy but only briefly) and no one believed him obv until we checked twitter and then the bus errupted into hysterics 😭😭😭

#im a firm believer that one day we'll get a reunion #this morning i was thinking how iconic a superbowl performance would be of 1d #maybe theyd advertise it like 1 of them (harry) was headlining and then they all show up #its nice to dream #uglypastels answers #anon