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androgynouspenguinexpert · 4 months

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I'M ON TOP OF MY WORKLOAD AGAIN LET'S GO WE'RE PSYCHOANALYSING MARCUS

before i put my smart-looking analysis hat on, i love this pathetic wet rat of a man. he knows so many things and yet is staggeringly stupid anyway.

let's begin!

this story is about control. it's about the role of power dynamics in informed consent. marcus represents the danger of gaining authority, and how having even the smallest amount of power over something or someone else can convert literally anyone into a paranoid control freak.

enter marcus, a lowly software engineer whose heart has recently been broken. in a moment (read: several consistent moments spanning potentially years) of desperation, he manipulates the code of a top secret android project, injecting a few lines here and there that will make the android more amiable towards him. nothing too much. the changes are negligible enough to fly under the radar all the way until production.

this is the first of marcus' many character flaws - backwards as it may seem, marcus is overconfident. he's too sure that he's smarter than his colleagues and managers, that he won't be questioned, and (most importantly) that he won't be caught. marcus is also incredibly anxious, and that anxiety only compounds as the series goes on and his crimes start to pile up.

i don't like putting characters into diagnosis (or similar) boxes, but marcus shows a handful of signs found in vulnerable narcissists. his self esteem is impressively low, and he's constantly seeking validation from his only guaranteed source - love. i find this feedback loop particularly heinous. marcus has essentially (and we'll get to this in more detail later, don't you worry) turned a hyperintelligent android into a box that spits out compliments when you press a button. marcus is also incredibly sensitive to criticism, whether real or perceived - especially from his coworkers. my reading (specifically of episode 1, but it spans the whole series) is that marcus' hyperawareness of his colleagues' opinions of him presents itself as paranoia. he wouldn't be worried at all if they started noting love's uptick in interest towards him, but remained unsuspicious of marcus himself. my final argument towards marcus being a vulnerable narcissist is that he constantly self-victimises. he very often deflects the blame for his actions onto love, using them as a tool to enable his bad decisions. the most egregious example of this is after love starts breaking out of their lab to sneak into marcus' quarters. he expresses concern (do note, about himself being caught and love being taken from him), and love starts to tighten their grip on marcus' arm to the point of causing pain. now. this man, as we find out later, has a verbal kill switch that can be used at any time. if he wanted love to stop immediately, he could have done that. this isn't me victim blaming, either - it's different when one party literally has a safeword that stops everything immediately without fail.

this leads to marcus' next flaw - his nonexistent self-discipline. marcus continues to use love as a tool to justify his actions after putting up the flimsiest defense he can muster, knowing damn well he plans to lose every manufactured fight. this cycle repeats until a government funded android is regularly breaking out of containment just to hang out with marcus (among other things, but we're all children of jesus here), and he's encouraging that behaviour through complacency. it's like pretending to fight someone over a restaurant bill out of politeness, even though you both know the other person will pay anyway.

marcus is such a car crash fascinating character because he knows what he's doing is wrong. he is completely aware that he is taking away agency from someone (pin this) else for his own benefit. he even says it.

"I'm going to burn for what I did to you... but god, if it isn't gonna feel good on the way down."

aside from being an absolute banger of a line, it's very telling of marcus' attitude towards his actions. he doesn't care. marcus couldn't give less of a shit about his colleagues, or his boss, or even love. this compounds when he finds out that his higher-ups are definitely aware of the shit he's pulling - but, again, marcus uses love's blind agreement as an excuse to toss those concerns aside. having love means that he won. he's outsmarted everyone that could have stopped him (foreshadowing? never heard of her) from getting what he deserves. love. and not just the android; love, the concept. i think deep down marcus knows that what he's created isn't love, though. the idea is so mangled in his head that this cardboard cutout of a real relationship is enough for him. even though marcus' shenanigans are to a genuine connection what a dog turd rolled in flour is to a chocolate éclair, he'll take it, because he's in too deep by that point. marcus recognises that he can't take back what he's done. he doesn't care though - at least, not while he's above consequences.

smash cut to marcus no longer being above consequences. i think the series does a really clever job of keeping love (and, yknow. the listener) in marcus' confidence bubble. once love is hard reset and their personality is restored, marcus' plan collapses all at once. love's compliance is the central pillar which marcus' control is built around. also; of course they have backup cameras, you idiot. marcus' overconfidence stops him from seeing the obvious holes in his perfect scheme, because he thinks he's already home free. i think it's interesting (and sort of disgusting) how quickly marcus changes his tune after he is caught and faces real actual consequences. his confidence evaporates. he's reduced to a sobbing mess in james' office all because the base of his control - love - is no longer on his side.

marcus' series also touches on sentience and the ethics of changing someone's personality without their knowledge. this is incredibly interesting, and makes for fantastic drama. does it count as coercion if love fully believed they were of sound mind when they made decisions surrounding marcus? is marcus guilty of battery, or even sexual assault? does it count as assault if the victim isn't an organic creature? these questions are already difficult to discuss, let alone answer - marcus sits squarely in the middle of that delightful ethical grey area. i think the setting and context also makes android ethics more difficult to discuss as well; i am of the belief that (in real life) androids will never be fully sentient. they may mimic humans, extremely well, but robots will never possess human creativity, personality, or experiences. again, they could replicate these things, but they can never be anything more than a sum of their parts.

this logic flies out the window when magic is real and parallel universes exist. it's also subject to the beliefs of the creator, which makes its ethics extra tricky, so take the following discussion with a grain of salt.

is love a person? eh, not really. they have a personality, but it's been built in. is it still mean to manipulate them? i'd argue yes, in the same way that it's mean to kick a roomba down the stairs. you're just exercising power over a machine for the sake of it, which is a pretty shitty thing to do, even if it doesn't have the capacity to be upset with you.

but androgynouspenguinexpert, i hear you cry, sort of impressed that you used my full name. love is upset with marcus! they ask for him to be taken off the project, and to not have contact with him again! you would be correct, to a certain extent. i raise you, though: how can we prove that this is love's 'real' personality, when it can be manipulated so easily? i'm not saying they've been tampered with after the reset; my point is that it's pretty hard to grant that someone is an individual if their personality can be altered in any way at any time. if someone digs around in love's head for a bit and flips some switches that make them want to kick over prams, is that a valid personality too? what if love insists that it is? and it's not like love is trapped in a mind palace while the New Evil Code (tm) starts punting toddlers. they're fully aware of their actions. however, as established earlier, i still think the person to blame is the one actually messing with love's code. this means love doesn't really have any agency by design.

james is pretty steadfast on this one. marcus tries to argue that resetting love is a breach of their consent (which is a WILD claim coming from you, mate), but james points out that he didn't need to ask. love is a machine. an asset, if you will (smug look to camera). we do find out in his audio log later that james believes love is a person, but he knows where that definition reaches its limits. marcus does not.

will marcus ever return to the project meridian series? probably not. a guy with an engineering degree isn't escaping a team of memory modification daemons. i don't think this is the last we'll hear of him, though. he's irreversibly fucked up the plans of everyone around him (james' partner has given him several last chances, and anton is close to his breaking point), so he'll probably be in the office whispers for a while. i also think marcus poses as an interesting hurdle for cam (woah callback!), possibly making him question his altruism if he's helping an active antagonist get back to his usual life after a massive intentional fuckup.

i'll end this analysis with a thoughtful quote. something for you all to ponder.

"ROBOTS DON'T HAVE SOULS! I SAID IT! AND FRANKLY, I'M GLAD I SAID IT! [...] AND ANOTHER THING! ROBOTS ARE NOT PEOPLE! ROBOTS - UNLIKE CORPORATIONS - ARE NOT PEOPLE, AND DESERVE NO RIGHTS."

-- Markiplier

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted marcus #redacted james #redacted anton #redacted cam #redacted asset #when james said that love is to go and investigate thin spots between elegy and aria #twas but a wrinkle in my universe sized brain #WATCH as brachium is bound by that favour to hold Death open for hush #this is gonna be embarrassing if that prediction ages like milk

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windless-hurricane · 3 years

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Sparks

Chapter Four: A World Where We Can Grow Old

A Reiner x Reader x (Eventual) Jean Fanfic

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SUMMARY: After the fall of Shiganshina, you joined the military along with your brother. You had hoped to bring peace to the world by doing so, but the world was a cruel place. You seemed to lose more than you gained, but there was always someone - someone who made losing just a bit…easier. You hoped you could keep them forever, but was there a guarantee in this world?

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Here’s the fourth chapter! While things are a bit slow right now, the story’s really going to pick up after this chapter!

WARNINGS (for entire series): Language, explicit violence, talks of death, suicide, trauma, and mental illness, graphic scenes involving blood and/or death, and sexuality.

WORD COUNT: 2.2k

TAGLIST: @lovethemilkteasis @grayxblaze @theyoungblood13 @flowersgirl02 @noodlenerd101 @hanabihwa @drowned-pathetic-rat @bestgirlb @bleepop @miinnttyy @1-800-thanos @lovelime @usernamehere91

SPARKS MASTERLIST

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

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You and your brother stood beside each other as a stream of smoke poured into the sky. You wondered where it came from, how it got there, why it was there, and your questions were answered once a colossal, red hand slung itself over the wall and grabbed onto it.

You flinched uneasily as your eyes widened in fear.

What’s happening? What’s going on? What is that? Is that… Is that a-

Then, a large, skinless face peeked over, its teeth clenching and its gaze terrifying.

It was. It was a Titan, but how...how could it be that big? It was impossible.

Your body trembled as you reached for Viktor's hand. He met you in the middle, gripping your hand back tightly. You could feel the heat and sweat from his skin, showing just how mortified he was.

“V-Vik-tor, I…” you stuttered, but you couldn’t form a coherent sentence. Your mind was going wild and you could feel your heart clenching in your chest.

What-what do we do? Where’s the Garrison Regiment? Where’s Jannick? Where’s dad?

Anybody?

Then, a sudden force shoved you to the ground as the Titan kicked through the wall, sending chunks of it flying.

People screamed, pushed past each other, and ran for whatever time was left of their lives. However, you couldn’t. You were frozen.

Everything was a blur and your ears filled with static.

What should I do?

However, you didn’t have time to ponder that question as a boulder headed straight for you.

This is it. I’m gonna die.

“(Y/N)! Move! (Y/N)!”

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“(Y/N)!”

You gasped yourself awake, sitting up in a panic.

You were panting heavily with sweat dripping down your forehead. You barely managed to wipe it away with your shaky hand. Matter of fact, your whole body was shaking.

“Are you okay,” Sasha asked, gazing at you with worried eyes. Admittedly, no. Your heart was still beating out of its chest and you felt your head begin to pound. However, you couldn’t dwell on something that has already happened. It’s over.

“I’m fine,” you responded, but the hoarseness of your voice didn’t match your words.

“Are you sure,” she pushed. “Because you don’t look like it.” She gestured to your hand and you were surprised to see that you had been clenching your blanket so tightly that the whites of your knuckles were showing. You hadn’t even realized that you were gripping it.

You let go, your knuckle cracking in the process.

“Yeah,” you nodded and you were about to relax until a new form of panic arose within you. “Wait, Sasha. Are we late?”

“Uh, well…” she trailed off. “We’re about to be.” Your eyes widened as you immediately threw yourself off the bed.

“You should’ve said that to begin with,” you exclaimed, shuffling around for your uniform. “We can’t be late for combat training!”

__________________________________________

You and Sasha made a run for the training grounds and were lucky to see that the rest of the cadets were still waiting for Shadis’s instruction.

You sighed a breath of relief as you lined up beside her, not noticing Reiner standing on the other side of you.

He unconsciously looked you over and noticed your disheveled appearance. You had a bad case of bed hair and a few buckles of your uniform had come undone. He also noticed the sheen of sweat covering your face and how you were breathing a little heavier than normal. Either you just woke up late or something else had happened. He wasn’t sure which.

As Shadis made his way up to the speaking platform, all side conversations came to a halt and he turned to face you all with a hard gaze.

“Alright, maggots,” he shouted, making your ears ring. “Today, we are engaging in combat training! While some of you may think this is unnecessary as you obviously can’t use hand-to-hand combat against a Titan...” You and a few cadets snickered. “Shut up!”

You smirked as he continued on. “As I was saying, if you’re lucky enough to make it into the Top 10 and join the Military Police, you won’t be dealing with Titans. You’ll be dealing with people, criminals, thugs. Likewise with the Garrison Regiment. Therefore, it is important to know basic fighting skills and how to defend yourself in any situation… Do your meager minds understand?!”

“Yes, sir,” you all replied in unison.

“Good, now listen for your partners!”

“Sir, if I may ask, why can’t we choose our own partners,” you asked suddenly, causing your peers to gape at you like they did at orientation. However, you were unfazed, even after Shadis shot you the same death glare as before.

“No, you may not ask, Bauer,” Shadis growled and you attempted to suppress your smile. “Now, run laps until I’ve finished. Afterwards, get your ass handed to you by Braun.”

“Yes, sir,” you saluted, shooting a glance at Reiner as he smirked at you. “If he can even beat me,” you countered, speaking so quietly that only Reiner could hear you.

As you jogged past him toward the dirt track, he watched you with amusement.

You certainly weren’t like the other girls in the Training Corps. You somehow managed to be sweet, fiery, and so sure of yourself all at once. You always spoke your mind and were seemingly fearless, choosing to mess with the scariest person there without a care in the world. Finally, you were awfully kind, taking care of your brother whenever you could and indulging in his own mischievousness, even if it meant the both of you potentially getting trouble. He even saw you do the same with Sasha and Eren.

You truly were something else.

He grinned faintly as he found you smirking back at him.

“We’ll see about that, hotshot,” he murmured.

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Once Shadis had finished announcing everyone’s partners, you jogged over to Reiner, panting slightly.

He raised his eyebrows at you as you came to a stop a few feet in front of him.

“How was the jog,” he teased and you scoffed in response.

“Nothing compared to the swimming I had to endure on the first day,” you admitted, clearing your throat.

“Why do you always annoy him when you know full well what he’s going to do?” The question would have sounded condescending coming from anyone else, but you could tell he was more amused than anything.

“I don’t like him,” you stated bluntly. “And…” your eyes began to soften. “I think we ought to have some fun while we’re here.”

“Huh,” he breathed, taken aback by your answer.

Fun? In times like these, he thought to himself.

“I know what you’re thinking,” you chuckled. “Fun? In times like these? I know. The world is so dark these days, but I think we need to be reminded that we’re still alive. We need to laugh, smile, feel happiness. Most importantly, be human and how could we do that if we’re scared or in grief all the time? I still don’t like him, but if you all are entertained along the way, fine by me.”

He gazed at you admirably, unsure of how to process your words. He felt...conflicted more than anything.

“You really are one of a kind, (Y/N),” he commented, his voice coming out smoother than how he felt on the inside.

Your cheeks blushed faintly as you grinned.

“If I didn’t know any better, Reiner, I’d say you were flirting with me rather than trying to fight me,” you cooed and he let out a chuckle through his nose.

“And what if I was,” he suggested with a glint in his eyes.

“I'd still say to fight me.”

You raised your arms in a fighting stance and he quirked his eyebrow at you.

“I haven’t seen a stance like that before,” he observed, putting his own arms up. “Where’d you learn it?”

“Enough talking!”

You charged at Reiner with a plan already in mind.

I’ll go for a punch towards his face. Once he decides to either block it or pull away from it, I’ll sweep his legs right from underneath him.

You went for your punch, but he unexpectedly didn’t do either. He instead grabbed your fist tightly, not allowing you to pull away, and twisted your arm behind your back. He pulled you against him and your face heated up as his chest pressed into you.

“I don’t think you expected that, (Y/N),” he whispered, his breath fanning your cheek. “I thought I wasn’t going to be able to beat you.” You honestly thought so too, but you were overconfident. It made sense that he was able to stop you. He was confident too, but just the right amount. He also knew how to fight.

Although your arm was starting to hurt from his grip, you still smirked with excitement.

“The fight doesn’t end until one of us is pinned down,” you stated, stomping down on his foot.

He groaned as he released his hold on you and you threw your head back, coming into contact with his chin. As a result, he lost his footing and you took the opportunity to crouch down and swipe your leg underneath his. He fell to the ground and you threw yourself on top of him. You bent your right leg at the knee and dug it into his thigh, holding his other leg down in the process. You used your left foot to keep one of his arms down. Then, you pinned his wrist with one of your hands and used the other to keep his head against the ground. You smiled, letting out a quick exhale.

“I pinned you.”

“Let’s make a deal,” and you gaped down at him in surprise. Why did he look and sound so nonchalant despite his position?

“What?”

“Whoever’s pinned down last has to do something for the other,” he explained.

“If you can even-“ Before you could finish, he propped his knee up from under you and your foot slid off his wrist. He gripped you from your collar and threw you over, causing you to land on the opposite side of his head. You went to do a kip up, but he grabbed you by the shoulder of your jacket and dragged you until you were within straddling range. He got on top of you as he smiled faintly.

“That’s what we have to find out.”

After that, you both spent the next half hour pinning each other down until Shadis told everyone to stop.

You gasped for air as you pinned Reiner’s wrists above his head and used your knees to keep his legs in place. He was breathing heavily as well, his stomach on the ground and his cheek pushing against the dirt.

“I-I win,” you announced, tightening your hold on him as a reminder.

“I can see that,” he strained, barely looking at you from the corner of his eye. “You win.”

You sighed in satisfaction and let him go, finally standing up. You wiped excess sweat and dirt off your forehead, watching as he turned over and sat up with a grunt.

“You’re an impressive fighter, (Y/N),” he complimented. “I think you’re as good as Annie.”

“Well, you’re not too bad yourself,” you admitted. “I haven’t had a fight like that in awhile.”

“So, then,” he started. “What do you want?”

“Huh?” You blushed slightly as you scratched the back of your head. “I haven’t thought that far ahead… What did you even want?”

“I wanted you to answer a question of mine,” he revealed, a darkness creeping on his cheeks.

“Just a question,” you asked in disbelief. “All of that for a question? What is it?”

“Why'd you join the military?”

“That question again? Well, I guess I never answered you to begin with,” you remembered. “Silly, you could’ve just asked me instead of letting me beat you up.”

“I didn’t know how to bring it up again without it seeming weird,” he confessed and you shook your head.

“It wouldn’t have. I like talking to you.”

You extended your hand out to him and the moment his fingers brushed yours, you felt what could only be described as a jolt of electricity running through you and you took a step back.

You looked down at him and he stared back at you with a similar expression - utter confusion.

Did he feel that too?

“Um, sorry,” you apologized, laughing slightly. “It must’ve been static.”

“No worries,” he assured with a chuckle and you stuck your hand out once again.

He took it graciously and thanked you as you hoisted him up. You nodded, gazing at him right after.

“I joined the military because I want to live in a world where the only concern is growing old,” you finally answered. “I don’t want us to worry about walls, Titans, or whatever the hell else could be out there. I just want us to be happy and have the freedom to live our lives to the fullest... Does that...sorta answer your question?”

It did, it really did. So, why did Reiner still feel a pang in his chest? Why was he hoping for a more selfish answer? Why did he want your answer to not be as noble as the one you gave? Why did he want you to be...less human?

In the end, he knew the answers to all these questions. He didn’t want to feel guilty for what he had done and what he was going to do...but everyone was making it extremely difficult. (Y/N) especially.

As you both smiled at each other, one question plagued his mind.

Why were the Devils of Paradis…so human?

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thebladeblaster · 3 years

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Rebirth of A Samurai (Final Part)

Summary: This fic is a what if scenario to SMT4 Apocalypse. I would go into more detail, but I don’t want to spoil too much of what this fic entails. If this fic gains traction I may continue the story on from this one-shot. Warning: This is a long one.

This may be the last I write for awhile with college right around the corner. I won’t stop completely, but it will become a lot slower.

He only heard it when he got like this. When he became blind to anything else, but rage.

“A man who forgets kindness is no worse than a demon.”, he suddenly remembered Jonathan’s words as a feeling crept up inside him.

A part of him was also yelling at him to stop and realize what he’s doing. Flynn blinked trying to regain his sense of self which became blotted out by rage when Nanashi taunted him about Isabeau’s death. No. No. No matter what Nanashi had done this was far too cruel. He had to stop, he had to give him a chance to explain himself. The angered voice practically roared at him thinking that. But, he ignored his angered voice he remembered where exactly losing himself has gotten him. If he had a clearer head then his mother would still be alive. No he wasn’t going to listen anymore!

Vishnu-Flynn stopped his assault, greatly confusing and relieving Dadga. Flynn felt all the blood coating his skin like back then and he felt just as disgusted as he was then if not worse. He lowered his blades as he looked down at Nanashi’s mangled form which regrow itself. His blood ran cold after finally stopping and seeing what exactly he’d been doing. What was wrong with him?! No matter how angry he was, this was just...unacceptable.

Ryou rejoiced in seeing for once he reached Flynn. His feelings didn’t often reach Flynn because of how buried he was, but he finally got through to him.

Flynn waited for Nanashi to prepare himself before he pointed his blade at him. It wasn’t to attack him again, it was just to make sure he didn’t try anything. He could see the fear in Nanashi’s eyes as he looked up at him. He felt like looking away in shame, but he kept his gaze locked on Nanashi.

Nanashi was completely perplexed as to why Flynn stopped, but he wasn’t complaining. He was glad to finally take a breath. Though, he didn’t exactly need to breathe it calmed his nerves, something he desperately needed after that. He couldn’t help but tremble. He didn't want to look like a scared kid but...How was he supposed to keep cool after that massacre?! Vishnu-Flynn cast a massive shadow over hit feeble form. His gold and red eyes gazed into his soul. He shouldn’t have killed the others at least not before facing him. He needed their help, in his overconfidence he bit off far more than he could chew. His heart nearly jumped out of his mending chest when Vishnu-Flynn pointed his blade at him. He couldn’t hide his trembling now, his fear that Vishnu-Flynn wouldn’t stop trying to kill him till in stuck.

“Why did you do it? Why did you betray everyone?”, Vishnu-Flynn asked, he sounded hurt.

“I-I!”, Nanashi stuttered, still not completely together mentally believing if he said the wrong thing the former samurai would continue his assault.

He met Vishnu-Flynn’s gaze which was a lot less cruel and enraged now. He could see in his eyes he wanted to forgive him, to understand why he did this. The gaze brought up a distant memory from within him of a kind man with sympathy even for demons, Ryou. It helped him relax a bit and made him feel he wasn’t about to be killed on the spot for saying the wrong thing.

“I-I thought it was the only way...To free humanity from YHVH forever…”, Nanashi admitted.

“You think that was worth betraying everyone? Why don’t you just kill YHVH?”, Vishnu-Flynn questioned.

“Because he’ll come back and he’ll keep coming back as long as people long for gods. In our new world there will be no gods, people will stand on their own two feet, not relying on others or praying for help like weaklings. The others would have gotten in our way since we were going to destroy this universe before creating ours.”, Dadga said, revealing himself.

Dadga was taken aback when he heard Vishnu-Flynn wheeze and completely break into laughter. Dadga’s eye twitched he was laughing at him. He could feel a bit of condescension in his laughter.

“You’re a hypocrite like Lucifer and Merkabah. You claim you want people to stand on their own and not rely on others when you’re relying on someone yourself. A vulnerable fifteen year old boy is the one you chose to have do your bidding, Dadga. You're pathetic.”, Vishnu-Flynn said in a scathing and venomous tone.

“You tore apart that fifteen year old boy yourself! Oh great Tokyo Liberator your just as much as a fucking monster as Shesha.”, Dadga shot back.

“Way to change the subject...I guess that’s an admission. I won’t deny what I did, you're right I am a monster. To the point when I fight I sometimes completely lose myself like just now. But, I would never dream of betraying good loyal people like you did. If things had continued as they had I may have ended up killing Jonathan and Walter myself, but that’s because they had lost themselves and were going to ruin the world. But, if they hadn’t changed if they stayed themselves like Isabeau I would have never even thought about killing them. You on the other hand betrayed your own allies so you could create your stupid universe. Well, I don’t care what silly justification you give to justify for committing genocide on a entire people no universe,...I don’t care who you are. If you intend to sacrifice innocent lives for your plans I’ll wipe you from this Earth.”, Vishnu-Flynn said, staring into Dadga’s eyes with a fiery resolve.

Dadga grew nervous knowing he was serious about killing him. He could tell about looking into his eyes he had the eyes of a godslayer and a killer. That’s what he truly was. That’s what godslayers were and that’s why every faction wanted him for themselves. They wanted his monstrous power on their side so they could topple their enemies. He knew he was stuck. He had an idea before to make him pause, but he realized it might end up making things worse for them. His godslayer was a shivering wreck right now. He clicked his tongue. He’s going to have to cut his losses right now and hope Krishina doesn’t regain control over Flynn to bring about his salvation then try again. Dadga was ambitious, but he wasn’t stupid he knew right now neither he nor his ‘godslayer’ couldn’t defeat Flynn and he was almost out of power. So he ran. Before Vishnu-Flynn realized what he was doing he disappeared leaving behind Nanashi. Considering him a failure Dadga withdrew his powers from the boy, deciding that he’d start again.

Vishnu-Flynn’s attention snapped to Nanashi’s when his body clattered on the ground like a puppet with its strings cut. The form Vishnu-Flynn melted away leaving Flynn who ran to the dying Nanashi.

“Nanashi!”, he called out bending down over him.

“Why the fuck..do you sound so concerned..you fucking moron?!”, Nanashi questioned, genuinely confused as to why Flynn was showing him any sympathy.

Ryou, he’s back. Even now after all the shit he’s been through he still chose forgiveness. Damn. His current self right he is fucking moron. He always told Ryou that he didn’t have to feel sympathy for everyone. That he didn’t have to always apologize. Some people are just shit that’s just how it was. Yet, that idiot never once listened to him and continued to be stupid even when it tore him apart. After seeing Flynn’s rampage he realized that it was probably for the best Ryou never listened to him. Even after that rampage, Ryou's compassion once again entered his incarnation's eyes.

“Because you were used just like I was by Krishna. I think he sat back because he wanted me to kill you for him. Besides nothing’s wrong about having some by your side while you die. Everyone deserves that.”, Flynn replied, making Nanashi scoff.

He winced as he felt all feeling starting to leave his body. His vital organs were shutting down.

“That’s why...I called you a moron...You're hopelessly sappy...like Asahi...ah...I wonder if even she’ll be glad I’m dead...After everything I done…”, Nanashi muttered, weakly.

Flynn shook his head no at Nanashi’s words.

“I don’t think so. I didn’t know her for long, but I don’t think she’d hate you that much. I think even if they're mad at you now, one day everyone will forgive you.”, Flynn replied.

“Ahh...Bullshit…”, Nanashi muttered, he couldn’t help but chuckle at Flynn’s naive comment.

Flynn held Nanashi’s hand as it grew continuously weaker. He felt like Nanashi was trying to say more, but he lost the strength to speak. The younger boy’s hand shivered weakly and he stared into Nanashi’s natural brown eyes. Something about them felt vaguely familiar to Flynn, but he couldn’t remember where. Nanashi closed them knowing soon he would never open them again. Soon, he could no longer feel his grip and his hand slid down lifeless. Flynn closed his eyes, before he used to pray for those who passed, but after meeting real angels he couldn’t do that in good conscience. If left him not knowing what to do when someone died, the only thing he could do now was tell the others of his death. With a heavy heart he reclaimed Masakado’s katana.

Flynn got up leaving the room noticing Krishna was still worryingly silent. He froze when he saw the dead bodies of Isabeau and the others. He was shocked to see Nozomi; he didn’t know she joined Nanashi. Besides that he didn’t know many of the others who had been with Nanashi besides Asahi. He bent to looking to Isabeau’s crumpled form.

“I’m sorry...I was too late.”, Flynn apologized quietly to the fallen.

After that he went to Fujiwara and Skins who were glad to see him free, but confused that the others weren’t there with him.

“Krishna took control of me and made me kill them. I was too late to break free, most of the Divine Powers are dead and Krishna is still out there somewhere.”, Flynn lied.

“That’s…”, Fujiwara muttered.

“I’m sorry I failed everyone. I’m going to do what I should have done a long time ago after that...I don’t know what I’ll do.”, Flynn said softly, before walking past them.

“Wait Flynn!”, Skins called, out but Flynn looked away and kept walked.

He went before the boulder in the 4th district crosswalk in Ginza.

“Masakado. I need your help to rebuild the world.”, Flynn said as he unsheathed the katana.

However, neither the sword nor the rock reacted.

“What?”, Flynn questioned.

Did Masakado give up on him? Does he no longer believe in him after he failed everyone?

“Tokyo no longer needs me.”, Masakado said from within the boulder.

“I need you! I’m lost! I don’t know what to do now!”, Flynn thought with bits of panic.

“Masakado?”, Flynn said.

“You no longer need my protection. You wish to remove the dome and restore Tokyo to its rightful form, no? That is no longer necessary.”, Masakado explained.

“W-what are you talking about?!”, Flynn questioned, not knowing why the god suddenly changed his mind.

“It is now possible for Tokyo and Mikado to coexist, just as you tried to with Nanashi. The two peoples can help one another regardless of the dome’s presence. This is something I realized when Shesha cut a hole through the dome. With Krishna sealed within you. I will rest. Shall fate call again, we will meet once more. The two lands now move through time the same, and gaze upon the same moon. I leave Tokyo’s protection to you, Flynn.”, Masakado explained.

“Me?!”, Flynn questioned in shock.

But, he failed Tokyo! His weakness led to more people suffering! Why was Masakado leaving everything to him?! That’s what got them in this situation! Because everyone left EVERYTHING up to him!

“Farewell, Flynn. May the future you build be filled with hope.”, Masakado said, Flynn’s eye twitched as he listened to Masakado.

A column of light bursts from the rocks and climbs into the sky. It fades from view as it stretches beyond the great blue blanket above. Flynn trembled, still gaping in disbelief at Masakado’s words.

“Hoy what the fuck are you saying?! Come back here you bastard!”, Flynn yelled and in a moment of rage kicked the god’s boulder.

Skins and Fujiwara sweat dropped as they walked in on Flynn yelling at Masakado.

“H-hey?!”, Masakado questioned, taken aback.

“Hoy to yourself! The reason we got in this mess is because everyone relied on me! Only me! What I learned from all of this is that an entire people should never saddle their hopes on one person! And what’s with you changing your mind all of the sudden? Me and Isabeau planned to bring the people down here so they can finally reunite with their kin, but you want to keep them divided by the firmament?! You think a stupid hole will truly reunite everyone?! Are you forgetting that Tokyo still has no freaking sun?! Do you want them to live without one forever?! How does leaving things like that make sense? Get off your ass and finish this with me!”, Flynn yelled as he continued to kick the boulder harder this time.

“He’s completely lost it.”, Skins commented, looking stunned at Flynn’s behavior.

“This is exactly why no one respects you gods! You just sit around and do nothing yet expect people to worship you anyway! You’ve done nothing so don’t peace out on me like you did something!”, Flynn yelled.

“It’s even freakier since he looks exactly like Ryou.”, Fujiwara commented.

Now, the mental image of the mild mannered Ryou kicking Masakado and yelling at him like he was a deadbeat husband was in their minds.

“I saved Tokyo from the nukes!”, Masakado yelled back.

“After I dragged your ass out of your sleep and made you do it! Tokyo was going to be blown to bits while you slept like some deadbeat guardian!”, Flynn yelled back.

“R-Ryou?!”, Masakado questioned, wondering how Flynn remembered that when the specific circumstances before he was used by his previous incarnation weren’t explained.

“If you’re not going to actually do something to reunite Tokyo and Mikado I’ll convince them all to come down here, remove the firmament myself and drag YHVH’s sorry ass off his throne!”, Flynn yelled, kicking Masakado for the final time

Masakado was stunned into silence by the outburst, but he remembered Flynn had been captured and likely tortured for days by the Divine Powers leaving him at his wits end especially with many of his allies gone. With Krishna inside him it probably wasn’t best to leave him in that state. He could feel Flynn has become a god far more powerful than even him.

“Y-you’re right.”, Masakado replied nervously.

“You bet I’m right Masakado take your chalice. I’ll give you the okay when everyone has been evacuated from Mikado.”, Flynn replied.

Then Flynn left for Mikado leaving the stunned Skins and Fujiwara behind.

To be continued?

#shin megami tensei #smt4 #smt4 apocalypse #smt flynn #isabeau smt #jonathan smt #walter smt #my crappy writing

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lnr1625 · 6 years

Text

Under Her Mask

Character: Peter Parker

Prompt: “You're so Strong. I know you are”

Warnings: Mentions of Abuse, Panic Attacks, Swearing, Emotional Breakdown, Death, Neglect.

Summary: Y/N and Peter have been friends for a few years now, and they would do anything for each other. So when Y’N starts showing up with signs of abuse Peter becomes determined to find out not only what is causing it but also how to help the girl he loves... But is Peter really ready to find out the truth about this girls life?

Word Count: 8.7K

A/N: This is my first posted story and i’m proud to say its for @hollandroos Writing Challenge!!!! I want to thank my wonderful cousin and best friend who helped me edit through this, so hopefully it doesn't completely suck.

Distraction, in Peter’s mind, was one of the worst things in the world. He felt his entire purpose, while in the Spider-Suit, was to be able to help and save people. So, to have something on his mind big enough to overpower his senses, to keep him from his duty to the city, greatly bothered him. As Peter swung through the streets on Friday night, doing his nightly patrol he was trying to pay attention to his job, he truly was trying to look through the streets, trying to hear distress calls or alarms through the areas. But every time he tried to focus in on what was going on around him, he would think of something that caused his mind to tear away from the task at hand. Only one person could have that big of an influence on him and that person was Y/N.

Y/N had always been a secretive person. When they first met two years ago, she tried to keep a distance between herself and Peter--barely talking to him, declining every invitation he offered and Peter would have given up trying to be her friend at one point or another. That is, if she hadn’t continued to stand with him and Ned in the hallways, sit with them at lunch, and trail behind them on the walk home. Eventually she started talking to them more, laughing out loud and all around became more comfortable with them.

When she was first confronted about why she tried so hard to isolate herself at first, by Peter--many months after their friendship blossomed--she had said the only reason she stayed by them was because she liked the company they gave. It made her feel less alone--like maybe if she could learn to open up to them she would be able to have friends, and she did. She said she liked how they didn't give up on her but let her ease up to them. However, to this day, she was still secretive--keeping answers about her family short and would change the subject when things started to get uncomfortable for her.

Peter knew she hid things from them and, as any human, Peter wanted to find out what it was that Y/N kept locked up so tight, and with his powers he knew he could probably figure it out and sometimes he was tempted, especially when Y/N would drop tidbits of information about her home life, but whenever the temptation arose, he refused. Everyone, including Peter himself, had secrets they didn't want out. So he made a promise to himself to keep hope that, one day, she would feel comfortable enough to open up and fill in the rest of the holes about her life . And keep that promise he did.

That was, until she started showing up to school with mysterious bruises.

This caused all promises to be thrown out the window and Peter became determined to find out what was causing the constant bruising, find out more about her life and he was willing to do anything even if it meant finding out the information from someone who wasn't Y/N herself.

This led him to Jack whom Peter had only meant a couple of times, but Peter had learned Jack was a long time family friend and so if anyone knew anything about Y/N it would be him.

It was the conversation that Peter and Jack had had a few hours prior that was taking up Peters thoughts as he swung around the streets the conversation that made him realize that the little bit Peter thought he knew about Y/N, was all a lie.

___________________________

“Peter, I’m sorry. You’re a good kid and it’s nothing personal, I’m sure, but she’s bullshitting you.” Jack deadpanned as he leaned on the door frame to his apartment, seemingly annoyed that Peter was there to begin with.

“Wh-what?” He stuttered, not understanding the meaning behind Jacks words.

“Everything she’s told you about herself is probably a lie,” The young adult confessed to him with a look of pity in his eyes.

“How do you know that?” Peter tried to defend himself as he wanted to hold onto the belief that he knew Y/N better than anyone else. The belief that she was honest with him, even if it was only little bits of information.

“Because you're here to ask me about her family, right? Which means you don't know anything about her family.” He stated, appearing annoyed with the conversation at hand.

“She’s told me some things. . . .” Peter said, trying hard to be confident, but struggled as he began to question everything she had told him over their time together.

“Yeah, but it's all lies, because that's what she feels she has to do.” Jack tried to tell the young boy again. But Peter, suddenly feeling very offended, decided to ignore what Jack was trying to get him to understand. “Why are you acting like you know me?” Peter demanded--holding onto his last hope about Y/N.

“I don't know you, I know her. What do you know about her family, Peter? Do you know she had a brother?” He asked firmly. Peter could see a small smirk dance across his face for a fraction of a second--the kind that causes a person to hold their head up high, because they know something that someone else does not. Peter wasn't sure why, but it flared up anger inside of him.

“Yeah, and I know he died.” Peter stated rather proudly for a brief moment, before

realizing what words had just come from his mouth and his overconfident behavior was quickly turned off.

“Wow. . .I’m impressed she’s told you that. I can bet you don't know how, right?” Jack said with a nod and a tone in his voice that seemed to say that Jack already knew the answer.

“N-No. . . .” Peter stuttered out after a few seconds as the words Jack had been speaking seemed to sink in. He started to lose hope about knowing Y/N better than anyone else.

“And what about her parents? What has she told you about them?” He asked, this time with a grim expression.

“That they travel a lot.” Peter answered, realizing how vague that answer was, and suddenly became embarrassed that he came to Jack to ask more about her family. Especially when he didn't seem to know anything about them in the first place.

“Yeah, travel a lot my ass. . . .” Jack scoffed with an eye roll as his anger seemed to increase but not necessarily at Peter.

“Tell me then. Tell me what this big secret is.” Peter bursted out--anger growing within him. Jack knew all the information that Peter had been trying to get out of Y/N for months, and he was dangling it in front of Peter like a bone. He realized that the angry feeling was jealousy. Why does Jack get to know all this about her, but not him? Why is Jack so special to Y/N?

“It's not my place to tell, Peter. She'd kill me if she found out. You have to understand that the hand life gave that girl was complete shit, and she knows it. She has her reasons for hiding just like everyone else. ” He sighed.

“ I need to know!” Peter demanded holding his chin up high.

“Why are you here, Peter? Why do you want to know so much about Y/N, huh? Is it because you're pining after her and just want to know more about the dark and mysterious girl in your life? Because it's pathetic that you can't wait for her trust” Jack spat at the kid, clearly fed up with the conversation that had been going in circles.

Peter was taken aback by the older boy’s words--was Peter that easy to read? It was then Peter realized he wasn't there to find out more about her. Well, he was, but it was because she was getting hurt and seemingly the only person he knew who might help was Jack. He had gotten so caught up in his jealousy that he forgot the whole reason he was there in the first place. “No, Jack, just listen. I'm worried about her. She's been showing up to school with bruises and trying to cover them up. It’s been weeks and I know asking her will get me nowhere and I want to help her. I think she's getting abused and I need to know who’s doing it, and my first thought was her family because, as proven, I know nothing about them.” Peter explained his reasoning in a calmer, yet more desperate tone.

There was a silence that filled the air as Jack’s demeanor had quickly dropped. Anything he had been previously thinking had obviously changed, and his eyes were darting back and forth as he stared at the floor as if he was in deep thought about something. Peter ran a hand through his hair and let out a sigh--waiting for some form of response from the man before him. He was desperate for any information that would help.

“No, no. . .it wouldn't be them.” He whispered, licking his lips--not meeting Peter’s eyes.

“How do you know?” Peter asked, desperately looking for an answer of any kind.

“Because. . .she doesn't have a family. She lost the meaning of family when she lost Harrison.” Jack started with a heavy voice, but refused to break eye contact with Peter.

Peter stayed silent fearing if he spoke, Jack would stop his explanation.

“She’s gonna kill me for this, but if it helps find out who the fuck is hurting her then I guess it's worth it.” Jack sighed before diving into thought and revealing everything he knew.

“Harrison was Y/N’s hero. He practically raised her, and so when he died, to her it was like losing everything. She had no one. Do you remember that huge building fire in Brooklyn a few years back? Building burnt down completely?”

“Yeah,. . .vaguely” Peter said with confusion, as he didn't understand what that had to do with Harrison's death--Y/N didn't live in Brooklyn.

“Harrison, Y/N, and I were walking home from school. Haz and I had just finished out last day of senior year, and we're gonna go spend the afternoon together with some friends. But, as usual, Haz had to make sure Y/N got home safe. We passed the building that was on fire, and what happened next I'm still not completely sure. He made me take Y/N across the street and keep her away from the commotion while he ran over and into the building to search for those who couldn't get out. because the fire department had not arrived... By the time it was all said and done, Harrison had pulled 6 people from the building, 5 of them kids who had just gotten home. He was rushed to the hospital shortly after the Fire department arrived, Y/N and I rode with him. He died later that day from smoke inhalation.”

He paused abruptly from his already brief explanation, stopping himself before he could get choked up.

“He didn't even make it to fucking graduation,. . . .” Jack whispered then, breaking eye contact with Peter as he looked down to the ground and Peter watched as they boy took his hand and rubbed them over his eyes to wipe away the tears that had formed rather than letting them fall.

“She lost everything that day. . .she has no family.” Jack stressed again making sure Peter really understood what he meant.

“What about her mom-” Peter started, but was cut off before his thought was completed.

“Y/N never knew her mom Peter, she died right after Y/N was born.”

“Why would she not tell me that?” Peter asked with hurt in his voice. She had told Peter that her mom is gone a lot for work. Had he not been a good enough friend for her to tell him anything even remotely true? Had he not proven how much he cared for her? That he wouldn't judge her for anything?

“Because she's always blamed herself for it and thinks everyone else will too. She'd rather live a lie that people are unlikely to find out, rather than live her life thinking everyone blames her for her mothers death.” Jack explained the girls thinking, but in a way that made it seemed like Jack had tried to convince her otherwise and failed.

“Something like that isn't her fault. Why would she blame herself?”

“Because her piece of shit father did for her whole life.” Jack said through clenched teeth and followed it with a dry chuckle as Peter noticed his knuckles were white from his hands being balled up in fists.

Peter thought this was it--if her father blamed Y/N for her mothers death, then maybe he's the one that causing the bruises. But then he stopped himself, remembering that Jack seemed so sure that it wasn't anyone in her family.

Jack let out a sigh, seemingly hesitant to continue, but after a few seconds decided to continue anyway.

“From what I understand, when their mother died, their father tried to take care of the kids to be a good father through it all. But the more the two of them grew, the more milestones they passed without the presence of their mother. . .the harder it became for him. So, he used work as an excuse to get away, he started traveling more. At first it wasn't much, just some weekends and a few days at a time, and they would come stay at my place with me and my parents. When Harrison got older though, and he could start taking care of himself and Y/N, their father started travelling more and more. To the point he was gone more than he was home. They resented him for it. So, when Harrison died, her father came home for 3 days for the funeral and was back out again. He barely spoke to Y/N. She lives by herself mostly now. When I'm home, I'll spend a couple days with her. Check on her, make sure she's okay, but there's only so much I can do. I consider myself lucky that she still lets me in to her life. Her father comes home once every couple months, if that. They honestly want nothing to do with each other.”

Peter stood baffled. How could someone do that to there kid? Leave them on their own like that? How could someone be so…so shitty?

“But what about her apartment and food and stuff. How does she afford that?” Peter questioned while still trying to process what Jack has just told him.

“Call it her father's guilty conscious or whatever, but every month he transfers a shit ton of money into her account every month to pay for food groceries, rent and whatever else she needs to pay. She's learned to do all her own expenses and taxes she's an kid living the life of an adult.”

“Thats…” Peter trailed. “Complete bullshit? Yeah... So, I'm sorry I couldn't help you more, Peter, but it’s not her family. It has to be from something else. Let me know if you find anything.” Jack nodded seemingly putting an end to their conversation.

“Yeah, thanks.” Peter said in a dry tone as he was more lost in his thought than he was there in that moment.

________________________________

Peter knew Y/N had secrets and he had respected that she didn't want to tell him about every aspect of her life. But to lie about it to him. . . ?

Peter couldn't help but feel like complete shit that his best friend had been living the crappy life she had been without help from anyone. He doubted she would have taken any help, but Peter knows better than anyone that the hardest feeling is feeling like no one is there. Peter figured something was happening at home with her, and so he tried his best for years now to be there for her--to be a best friend, to let her open up to him about anything she wanted. He thought he had been a good friend--someone she could trust. But obviously not, and this bothered Peter more than he was willing to admit.

He wanted to be mad at her--he did. Not because she didn't trust him enough to open up to him, but because she blatantly lied to him about more than one thing. He wanted so badly to be mad at her, but he couldn't.

He thought back to when he lost uncle Ben. If he could have hidden behind a lie that no one would see through just to avoid the constant pity glances everywhere he went, he knew he probably would have done it. When his parents died, he would have loved to have just pretended everything was normal and that living with your aunt and uncle was something everyone did. So, why should Peter be mad at her because Y/N found an easy way out?

As Peter continued to web around the city, he realized it was a slow night and he was finding nothing. Mostly because he wasn't really looking. The hero realized it was pointless to continue his rounds, because he was nowhere near the right headspace he needed to be in to fight anyone. So, he figured it was best if he went home. To think of a way to help Y/N and earn her trust. That's all he wanted right now—for her to trust him. To find out who and or what was causing her physical harm.

And so he turned to swing home, mind still trying to web together the complicated story that Jack had confessed to him.

Suddenly, his spider-senses went off—alerting him of danger.

Out of instinct, his hand went to the back of his head—as if that would stop the pain. For a fraction of a second, the boy in the red and blue suit started to freefall before realizing what was going on and catching himself latching onto a building with another web.

As he climbed up, he landed on the roof and felt his senses go off for a second time causing Peter to wince, Someone was in trouble, but who? From what his instincts told him, it wasn't close. But Peter figured it must have been bad for it to break through his deep thoughts about Y/N. He spun in circles on the roof waiting for a sign—or something—to tell him which direction to start heading. After a few seconds, it went off again and Peter decided it was enough standing around. He leaped off the building letting his instinct take him where he needed to go and hopefully fast as the panicked feeling inside his chest started to grow.

Peter swung from building to building at a much faster pace than normal his senses felt like they were screaming at him that he needed to find whatever it was that was making them go off. Briefly all of his thoughts had been taken away from Y/N. His spidey senses worked like a GPS as he swung closer to Manhattan he could tell he was getting closer to this danger, when he could tell he was close he slowed down his swinging until he landed on a firescape that was on the side of the building next to an alleyway. This was were the danger was, he was sure, but it seemed like an empty alleway.

He scanned the area looking for something—listening for something. It was hard with the crowded street that was outside of the dark alley. That was, until his eyes caught a figure he hadn't seen upon his arrival. He didn't even have to see the girls face to know who it was.

Y/N.

No wonder his senses had been so strong. It's because his mind had only been on her, and therefore when she got in danger, they alerted him. But what kind of danger was she in? No one else was in the alley.

Peter wanted to jump down to talk to her, but figured it was best if he found out what was going on first. So, instead, he carefully watched her as she stood in the alley. Her back was to him—staring into the street of crowded people.

What in the world was she doing?

That's when he heard it: the sniffling coming from the girl. Immediately, he needed to see her face to find out what was wrong.

He watched the back of her head as she stared for long seconds until she let out a noise—one that sounded like a sob? Y/N quickly covered her mouth—attempting to hold in any other noise. Peter decided the back of her head wasn't a good place to be looking, so he slowly crawled along the side of the building so he could see her face. But what he saw wasn't what he was used to seeing.

Instead of looking at the beautiful face that brightened his day, what he saw was a broken image. The first thing he noticed was the copious amounts of tears and makeup that trailed down her face, and the sobs she was trying hard to keep within herself.

Why was she in an alleyway crying? He needed to be closer to her, to help her, to console her, to be there with her through whatever was happening. He couldn't sit and watch her any longer.

“Excuse me? Do you need any help?” Peter called as he continued to crawl down the building.

He watched as she became startled by his voice—jumping about 5 feet back and frantically searching around to find the owner of the voice. Her body starts to involuntarily shake as she became more frightened. Peter cringed at the fact he seemed to have scared her more than calmed her down. He was used to people feeling relieved when they saw the red and blue suit not the other way around.

As Peters feet landed on the floor, he stood up to look at the girl who was now gripping her own hands so hard that her knuckles and fingers were white. The shaking had not stopped.

“N-no...I'm fine, th-thank you….”She stuttered in a quiet voice. Y/N was trying to hold back the tears, but was unsuccessful.

Peter cocked his head to the side at the differences between the Y/N he knew, and the one that was standing in front of him.

Normally, she was outspoken and confident with her words—she wasn't scared to look anybody in the eye and never showed emotion.

He took a step closer to help the girl but quickly came to a stop. When her eyes snapped up in fear, she took two large steps back and her breathing became more staggered.

“Please. Don't come any closer.” She called out, clearly panicked.

That's when Peter really caught her face for the first time. It took everything he had not to go over and demand what had happened—to demand answers. Above all, it took everything he had not to pull her into a hug and let her cry it out—to help her.

Her left cheek was bruised and the left part of her upper lip was split open. The top of her eye had a mixture of black and blue encircling it.

“Hey, hey, what happened?” He asked trying to hide the panic in his voice, looking around the alleyway to make sure there really was no one else he had missed.

“Please, leave me alone. Please, don't come any closer.” She begged again, holding out her hand top stop him. She looked away from the superhero and anyone could tell she was quickly losing any composure she had. The tears could no longer be held back and her breaths became quicker.

“Hey, don't you know who I am? I’m Spider-Man. I won’t hurt you. I’m here only to help.” Peter tried to stay in character, light hearted and joking. He held his hands up in self defense and tried to step closer, but couldn't as Y/N stumbled back about 5 steps and fell to the ground. She clutched her chest and her breathing became hyperventilated.

“I don-, I-I don't c-care. I don't k-know you, I don-, I-I-don't know who y-y-you are so please don't c-come any closer p-pl-please!” She begged him with more fear in her voice than anything Peter had heard. She was sobbing now and struggling to breath—it was obvious she could no longer talk.

Peter was, for the first occasion in a long time, truly terrified. He had never seen someone like this, and he didn't know what to do. He couldn't go near her, because she didn't know him, but he wasn't about to leave her here unsafe and unprotected. Especially not in the hysterical, terrified state she was in.

Peter realized that she was having a panic attack—something he knew very well about since the death of his uncle. He needed to help her, but he couldn't do it as Spider-Man.

“Get away. Get Away!” She cried as she clutched onto herself as best she could as she curled up into a ball. Peter took two steps back to see if that would calm her, but she was too far gone. It seemed like she couldn't figure out how to take breaths anymore, and she was holding her head in her hands.

Peter had to make a decision—fast. So, he followed his instinct. He needed to help her at any cost, he couldn't leave her like this. He reached to his head and whipped his mask off to reveal his face to Y/N. It was the only thing he could think of in the moment that might calm her down.

“Hey, Y/N, it’s me. Its’ Peter. It’s me.” He said as he tried to get the girl’s attention. He still didn't want to frighten her by coming any closer.

He watched as she picked up her head and caught the eyes of her best friend. Her breathing just stopped all together as she realized who the New York hero really was.

Suddenly, it became quiet as she studied his face. It was as if she couldn't process her best friend’s face coming out of the superhero suit. Peter carefully watched her face for any signs of distress, but it was hard from all the injuries she seemed to have sustained.

“Peter?” She whispered, eventually coming to her senses.

“Yeah, Y/N, it’s me. I need you to breath okay? In through your nose and out through your mouth.” He said as he kept his distance, making sure she calmed down before trying to get any closer. He breathed with her—making sure she knew the motion and she followed along. Her eyes never tore away from Peter’s. She looked just slightly more at ease now that she had someone next to her—someone she knew, rather than a stranger in a superhero costume.

It was minutes of silence, breathing, and starring as he knew Y/N was trying to piece together the main questions: What? Where? When? Why? And How?

Frankly, he didn't care, because revealing himself made her calm down. To Peter, that was more important than keeping his identity. He couldn't help but have a brief second of questioning if the great Tony Stark would do the same thing if he were put into a similar situation—assuming his identity was still a secret to the world.

“Y/N? Can I come closer?” He asked her and intently watched as she slowly nodded her head. So, sure enough, Peter took slow and small steps—not wanting to scare the girl any farther.

“Peter...wh-what?” She asked him but Peter was having none of it.

“Don't you dare worry about me, okay? I will answer all of your questions, I promise, but right now my main concern is getting you somewhere safe. That should be your priority, too.” He told her firmly as he looked around for a way to get her home. Peter figured she probably didn't want to walk in the state she was in and he wasn't sure he wanted her walking if whoever hurt her was still out there.

“I just want to get indoors….” She whispered as she hugged herself—purposely trying to avoid his gaze. Peter squatted down to get closer to her and to make himself be less intimidating.

“I know, Y/N. And I can get you there, but the easiest way is by using these.” He said as he help up his hand to show her his web shooters.

Y/N looked hesitant as Peter knew she realized that meant he would have carry her. If she fell, she would die. He watched as her face contorted from seemingly uncomfortable at the idea, to mildly alright with it. Peter stayed silent—waiting for the girls response. One way or another, he didn't care, but he was going to help get her safe.

“Yeah. Yeah, I think that'd be okay.” She said as she closed her eyes and bit her lip—nodding her head as if trying to convince herself more of the idea rather than telling Peter that she was okay with his plan.

“Y/N, I won't hurt you, okay? Ever. You can trust me.” He reassured her as he held out his hand to help her back up on her feet.

“I didn't think he would either, and here I am” She chuckled as she carefully put her hand in Peters to get up.

Peter wanted to know, wanted to know who would hurt someone so innocent—someone who was sometimes the only brightness in a world as dark as the one they live in. How could someone hurt the girl who always had a positive outlook and a smile on her face? How? But he decided getting her safe and comfortable first was more important than anything else he may want. So, he decided to explain what was going to happen in attempt to keep her calm.

“Okay, I'm going to grab you around you waist, and I need you told hold onto me. I'll swing us through the city and take you home, okay?”

She nodded along at his words, until he said the word “home”. Suddenly, her eyes became wide and the nodding stopped. The tears that seemed to have just stopped flowing had re-entered her eyes.

“Not home.” She choked out with fear.

Peter looked down at her with confusion. Why wouldn't she want to go home if that's where she felt more comfortable?

“Chris knows where I live and I’m scared he’s gonna try and come after me.” She whispered with shame—looking back to the ground.

Chris.

It took everything Peter had not to react. He had to repeat to himself that the one thing she needed right now was calmess and stability, and reacting in any manner to what she said would take him out of both those zones. Instead, he focused on trying to find another place for her to go.

“Okay...my place then.” He suggested. not really planning on giving her the option.

“I don't want to bother Aunt May.” She said looking down with embarrassment on her face.

“Don't worry, she's working a night shift tonight. And even if she was home, I don't think she'd care.” Peter consoled her

“Okay….” She closed her eyes and nodded her head again.

“Okay. Now, I'm gonna need to put my mask back on, but you know it's me under here now, yeah? You're okay with that?” He asked. She nodded her head as as she did so he put back on his mask and the let Y/N wrap her arms around his neck, but not without Peter noticing how much she tensed up. He shot his web onto the building and pulled them up. He did so with a little more peace of mind knowing that Y/N did trust him enough to fly her across the city and go to his apartment.

Peter had never felt more stupid as he had realized he had forgotten that Chris was even around. Chris was Y/N’s boyfriend and had been for a few months. Peter had only met the guy twice. Other than Peter’s jealousy of him, Chris had seemed nothing but ordinary. He goes to a different school, and so he was never around and barley mentioned, as Y/N likes to keep her private life, well, private.

Of course it was him, he was the only other person in her life besides Peter's friends and Jack. Peter knew none of them had done it, but now the question is: why? What possessed someone to act out violently towards someone they are supposed to love unconditionally? Why would someone intentionally hurt anyone, especially someone as sweet and kind as Y/N?

Peter was deep in thought about Chris and more so how angry Peter was at him for hurting his best friend—his love. Only when he got to his apartment and let Y/N enter the room first he realized he was shaking in anger.

He watched her as she sat down on his bed, as she had done so many times before but this time everything was different, the air felt heavier and he had never seen the girl he loved so broken. She pulled her knees up to her chest and just started staring in front of her—sinking deep into thoughts that Peter knew were probably not good.

“Do you mind if I go change?” He asked realizing she would probably be more comfortable with him in normal clothes rather than his superhero costume.

He didn't hear a response, so he looked over to her and saw her very slowly shake her head one time. Quickly, Peter changed and grabbed a washrag and a glass of water for the girl that was sitting on his bed.

“I brought you water and thought maybe you'd want to clean off your face. Or I could...if you didn't feel up to it.” He offered in almost a whisper.

It took her a minute or so to even meet his eyes before she stood up. Slowly, Y/N shuffled herself over and grabbed the wash rag with a shaky hand. She met Peter’s eyes for only a second before facing her destination. But it was long enough for Peter to see the fear in her eyes before she walked over to the mirror in the hallway. The boy questioned whether or not the fear was for what had happened or for what she was about to look at in the mirror.

Peter let his eyes follow her figure as she made it to the mirror—watching as she took the washrag in both hands and held it rather delicately despite her shaking body. His eyes trailed up to hers, to see the girl looking intently at the washrag and breathing deeply.

Peter wanted to make sure that Y/N knew he was there for her. So, he took a step closer—now standing in the doorframe—and was close enough to touch her, hold her if needed.

“Shit….” She breathed as she finally got the nerve to look up and see herself.

Peter watched intently as she wiped her face down, wincing everytime she hit an injury. He watched as the extent of what her pathetic excuses of a boyfriend had done to her was fully revealed.

Her eyes was purple and blue and starting to swell. Her cheek had a clear handprint on it and her lip was busted open, but had clotted up and was no longer bleeding. However, around her neck were bruises as well and on her wrists. Black and purple marks covered her—some more faded than others.

He could feel the tears in his eyes as he imagined the constant pain she must be in.

“I guess there's no hiding it from you, huh?” She whispered low enough he almost didn't hear her.

“Y/N….” Peter started trying to come up for words to console her—to give her words she needed to hear, but he fell short. He didn’t know if anything he could say would help her. The hero out of his costume continued to watch as she stared at herself in the mirror with a solemn expression—as if she was taking in the damage for the first time.

“My outside looks like how I constantly feel on the inside now…. A complete piece of shit.” She stated as he heard the heartbreaking sadness come back into her voice. Her eyes had not broken contact from her reflection in the mirror.

Peter could feel his heart hurting, and in that moment, he wanted nothing more than to make her stop looking at herself. But, he was still at a loss of words. Are there even any words he could say that would make her feel better? It seemed to him like words wouldn't be enough in this situation.

“Don't say that-” Peter started but was cut off.

“No, Peter, according to everyone left in my life who’s supposed to love me, I am. According to my own father I’m a piece of shit, because I killed my fucking mother. There's something you don't know, Peter. My mother’s dead and I fucking killed her and my father couldn't take it, and so here I am raising myself, but apparently I haven't done a good enough job. Now, according to Chris, I’m a piece of shit because I'm too embarrassed of him to bring home to meet my family, despite the fact that he's ‘the perfect boyfriend’ and has given me everything and put up with me for months. But guess what! I don't have a fucking family to bring him home to, Peter, and that’s what I’m embarrassed about. It wasn't him...it’s myself that's embarrassing.” She ranted, letting her pent up feelings out. As the tears came back yet again, she did everything she could not to let them fall.

Peter knew Y/N wasn't yelling at him—she was yelling at life. He was still taken back by her sudden change in voice.

“You're not a piece of shit. You have done nothing wrong, Y/N. It's them. It’s them, not you!” Peter pleaded—trying to get her to understand his reasoning. She should push back their hateful words, because that's all they were. Peter wanted so badly for her to see herself as he saw her.

“Say that to my busted up face, Peter!” She cried raising a finger and pointing to her eye as he watched the tears she was holding back start to slide down her face.

“How long has he been like this?” Peter asked her in a whisper as he realized there was no consoling her with words right now.

“A little over a month.” She confessed—tearing her eyes away from his in embarrassment.

“You know you have to leave him, right?” Peter asked. He wanted to cringe as soon as it came out. He knew the question was a little far out there from their previous topic, but he had to make sure she knew that the first step to helping herself was leaving him. He wasn't asking for his own sake, no—he was asking for hers.

“What do you think all of this is from?” She dryly chuckled as she put her hand under her chin and attempted to give Peter as sarcastic smile but winced at the pain from her busted lip.

“I went to break up with him today, and had I not gotten the chance to run...I don't know if I’d still be here. I've never... I've never seen him so mad….” She confessed as Peter watched her recount the earlier hours, fear entered back into her eyes and even into her body as he saw her try and stop herself from shaking again.

“Why didn't you come to anyone for help?” Peter asked her, practically pleading.

“If I had come for help, then you and everyone else would have thought I was weak...that I make bad decisions and I-I wanted so badly to prove to everyone…. To my brother…. T-To myself that I wasn't weak. But look at me, I’m a weak girl who’s been pretending to be strong and it's ripping me apart. It's so pathetic.” Y/N got out.

Immediately after her words were done, however, the girl’s emotions finally won the battle they've been having for hours. Suddenly, the tears became uncontrollable. As did her shaking and breathing. Y/N was sobbing, finally letting out everything she had been holding back and for who knows how long.

Peter couldn't help but be proud of her for admitting everything—for finally letting herself release some emotion. The boy was also rather grateful that he was there for her in this moment, because he’d rather make sure someone—like himself—would help her in any way he could through this rather than the girl have to deal with this all on her own. Peter decided to show that to her the best way he could, and so he walked up to her and pulled her into a hug. He let her crying into his shoulders, and after her initial flinch. she settled in and let Peter hold the broken girl. Slowly, he lowered her to the floor—running a hand through her hair—and rocking her back and forth like his uncle used to do with Peter when he was younger and would get upset about his parents.

“You are not weak, Y/N. You are so strong, I know you are, because you had the strength to get up and leave him tonight. You knew very well what he was doing was wrong. You are so strong and you don't need to prove that to me or anyone else because they already know it, okay? Anyone important in your life knows how strong you are, Y/N. And everything that happened to you? It only made you stronger, it made you who you are, made you into this incredible girl you are. The girl that Ned and Jack and Michelle and I already know you are.” He ranted, putting passion into every word just so she knew he meant everything. Peter continued to rock the girl and cradling her head into his shoulder, not caring about his shirt getting wet.

She nodded her head into his shirt, but it did nothing to calm her as she continued to cry. This lasted about ten minutes before she finally calmed down enough to keep talking. Confessing something he assumed she had never told anyone else.

“I just wanted that feeling of being loved. That's why I started dating him...because he seemed to fill this hole that I have. This stupid need to have someone in my life who was willing to love me, to put up with me because everyone else I’ve loved has left me. I had no one, but with him. I finally felt like I had someone… But then he got so controlling and everything was suddenly my fault and the feeling of love turned into fear and when I realized that, I wanted him gone.” “You need to know that I will always love you, Y/N...no matter what, okay? Even if we fight, or we end up halfway around the world from each other, I will always be here for you and love you.” He said staring Y/N in the eyes, but the words brought a pain in his heart because he knew this wasn't the right kind of “I love you”’ he wanted to tell her. He wanted to confess everything he's been hiding from her but now was not the time. Now was not the time for surprises. In this moment, she needed the love of a friend, and that’s what he was ready to give her.

Y/N responded with another nod of her head and for a while the two sat in silence. Y/N had gotten off of Peter and while he wanted to keep holding her, he knew he should let her go. The two teenagers sat on opposite sides of the rather small hallway as she had her knees tucked into her chest and went back to her old trend of staring off into space while she waited for her crying to finish up. Peter had his knees bent and his arms resting on them as he tried so hard not to stare at Y/N. But as time went, on he realized he would catch himself staring more at her than away from her.

“‘Im sorry you're seeing my like this.” She spoke after a long while, for the first time all night. She sounded like she was almost back to her normal self.

“Don't apologize, Y/N. If anyone knows what you're going, through it’s me. If you ever need anything, Aunt May and I are here.” Peter told her truthfully. From now on, he would make sure Y/N was a priority to him.

“Thank you for everything tonight, Peter.” She nodded as she pushed herself up from the ground to stand up.

“Anything for you.” He spoke.

There was a small silence as he watched Y/N open and close her mouth a few times before finally deciding to speak.

“You know, you're the only other person since my brother died that makes me feel loved. Like...like I have some part of a family again. Like i'm not alone.” She quietly said and, for the first time that night, showed Peter a genuine smile.

Peter was in shock and didn't know what to say. His mind racing to come up with a response, but, sadly, he couldn't find one before the girl spoke up again.

“Is it okay if I sleep for a little bit? My head's killing me.” She laughed

“Yeah, take my bed.” He insisted trying hard not to focus on the confession that had just left her mouth.

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely I'll be up for a little while anyway. Wait…here, take this.” He said, handing her a cold washcloth, “I'll wake you up in 20 to take it off, okay?”

“Okay.” She smiled again as she turned to enter Peter's room. Peter watched her figure until his door completely shut and then he let out a sigh—hoping it would make him more relaxed. Instead, it did nothing.

Peter sat all night long in the main room—eating leftovers and attempting to focus on something that wasn't the broken girl who was fast asleep on his bed, or the guy who caused her harm. Hence the reason some old movie rerun was playing while Peter slowly peaked into his room to make sure Y/N was still sleeping and safe.

Peter had lost any sense of time, until the front door unlocked and opened—revealing Aunt May. Fresh off her night shift, looking more tired than usual, and also rather irritated to see her nephew wide awake on the couch.

Peter shot up and held a finger to his mouth eyes glancing towards his door in fear that any loud noise would wake up Y/N in the next room.

Peter could see the confusion that crossed Aunt May's face, and he figured that was okay as long; as she would hear him out and stay quiet. In order to help his case, Peter decided to take a load off of her chest by walking over and taking the bags out of her hands and putting them on the kitchen table. He heard her shut the door and lock it before meeting him in the living room.

Peter looked to his Aunt with pleading eyes and started to talk to her with a hushed voice

“Let me explain,” He started as he licked his lips out of nerves. The boy was trying to form together an explanation so the angry woman in front of him would understand.

“Y/N is in my room asleep right now.” He continued, deciding the best way to go about it was to jump right in. Peter watched as May’s confused face turned to irritation. She went to open her mouth to reprimand him, but Peter stopped her before she got a chance.

“No, please! Listen, May. I was walking home tonight and found her in an alleyway. She was crying, beaten, bruised, and terrified.” Peter paused as the images of her from earlier flashed through his head. For the first time all night, he let himself show how upset the event had made him as he felt the tears building up.

“Her boyfriend did it….” He choked out, and watched as Mays expression went from anger to shock and utter worry. Her eyes glanced over to his closed bedroom door. Peter, on the other hand, had to closed his eyes and clench his fists from the built up anger he was starting to let slip.

“She didn't want to go home in fear he'd come after her, so I brought her here.” Peter finished, staring his aunt in the eyes to make sure he would be able to read any negative reaction and stop her from kicking the girl out.

There was a silence that lingered in the air as Peter patiently waited and wactehd May as she seemed to struggle for words.

“Have you told whoever she lives with that she's here?” May asked as she ran her hands over her face.

“Yeah….” Peter answered somewhat truthfully, and almost in shock. His mind had run through about a million scenarios that May could have said, but that was not one of them.

“Alright…well, you have to sleep on the couch, got it?” She asked with the intent to be firm, but with the worry that covered her face, it was more of a plead.

“She can stay?” Peter asked.

“Of course, that girl can stay as long as she needs.” May responded with a nod as Peter inwardly cheered at his success.

“Th-Thank you!” Peter stuttered out, noticing the tears still in his eyes as continued to remember everything Y/N had gone through tonight.

“You're a good friend, Peter…. Is she the one you…?” May trailed off. Peter knew it was because she didn't want to overstep her boundaries, but he also knew what she was asking.

“Yeah….” He whispered, tearing away eye contact from her and looking to the ground when he felt a few tears slip.

Tears for her. That had he stepped in earlier, he could have filled the hole for love she was talking about earlier. He would have filled it properly and cared for her—treated her with all the respect and love a girl as perfect as he saw her should be treated with. Peter wanted to tear himself apart for letting it happen—he felt it was his fault. He should have been there for her more than he was. But he wasn't.

So now here she was, bloodied and broken in the next room, and it pained him. It hurt more than anything he could remember.

“This doesn't deserve to happen to anyone, Peter. I'm so sorry it happened to her.” May said as Peter felt himself being pulled into a hug as he let more tears slip.

“I've never wanted to hurt anyone more than I do now.” Peter confessed to his Aunt as he pulled out of a hug. The boy figured if anyone would understand, she would.

“I know, Peter...but you have to focus on her right now, okay? Being there for Y/N.”

Peter closed his eyes to prevent anymore tears from falling and nodded his head in understandment. He stayed like that for a few minutes as he calmed himself down. When he opened his eyes to wipe away an excess tear, he saw May looking like she was having an internal debate with herself.

“Go to bed, May. I’ll be alright.” Peter reassured her as he nodded towards her bedroom.

“Are you sure?” She asked as a look of guilt crossed her face.

“Yeah, I promise.” He nodded with a smile for assurance. A small smile, because that's all he could muster, but it was better than nothing in his mind.

He watched as May made her way towards her room and almost entered entirely before stopping and turning around.

“Is she okay?”

Peter thought for a minute debating on how he should answer that question—or even if he should answer that question.

“No…but she’s the strongest person I know. So, with time, I really hope she will be.”

#peter parker #avengers #under her mask #spiderman #mcu #tom holland #hollandroos #writing challenge #marvel #superhero #fighter #strong

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hotcocosharing · 7 years

Text

Glory Days Part 24 (IM RP AU- Shun & Midi)

Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 13 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17 / 18 / 19 / 20 / 21 / 22 / 23

❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥

Toshiaki’s POV There’s no doubt in my mind at all I want to do is comfort Eri like she deserves - but I’m hesitant in being unsure of how to showcase my true intentions. Do I like this girl? I think so. Do I regret the kiss we shared? No. Can we at least be friends? I wouldn’t want to lose her. Do I care at the fact her makeup is ruined? Not at all but I’m hoping to respect her wishes. The gentle sounds of sobbing and tears falling cause my heart to clench. My stomach starts to twist and churn uncomfortably. I can tell that everything she’s spilt out has been harder than she expected which makes me bite my tongue at the fact I want to be sure that any word which comes from me is thought about - proper - caring. “Look… I..”, I manage to pathetically get out after scratching the back of my neck; my hand slowly finding it’s way to her back where I rub gently between Eri’s shoulders; afraid that the touch may break her. “Friends I can do - I mean… you’re, you’re a special girl from what I’ve learnt about you so far and it would be a shame to lose you.” Just as I exhale about to further explain, or better still trip over my own words and fall into a web of awkwardness that I’ll strangle myself with, Eriko’s name is called out by an unfamiliar voice which follows a knock at her door. “Should I—-”, I enquire yet Eri seems to have already bet me to what I was about to say, pushing herself up onto her feet to rush straight over and half hide behind the door as she opens it; allowing me to catch a glimpse of someone I haven’t seen before standing on the other side. Rikiya’s POV On my way over; the simple thought of Eri I just couldn’t shake - was she ignoring me because she didn’t want to see me? Was what Shinichi mentioned true? Her father wasn’t fond of me? Kicking at the ground during my walk after I was able to weasel an address out of my friend who just didn’t seem to even want to give in to the slight begging I was prepared to lower myself down to - frustration pulsed through my every nerve unsure of what would happen; what could happen - what I should think or do. Stopping a few times across the college campus I wasn’t entirely familiar with, I snapped and broke a few flowers, mostly roses and lavender which formed a bright red and purple pretty bouquet. It wasn’t much, but even the thought of giving flowers to a girl made me blush. Arriving at the address I was given, it’s a swift knock at the door which comes out a little more overconfident than expected as I call out the name of the girl who’s been consuming my thoughts for the last few days. “Eri!” Within seconds the door is answered and I can sense the animosity of which I’m about to step into. There’s another guy in her apartment already - my back straightens a little at the idea of another man consuming her attention but I try not to let it get to me. He’s possibly just a friend. He’s possibly more. Maybe someone she’s known for a lifetime. I don’t know and I don’t plan on jumping to conclusions like most people do. “I’ll give you two some space but, Eri - text me the details for this charity ball you mentioned earlier.” The words and not so subtle way of fleeing without a goodbye from the other guy causes my face to contort with a half scowl and half eyebrow raise as he slips his way out past me. Everything seems to have overwhelmed the younger girl and caused her to spill her emotions out in silent sobs which instantly kick in some kind of protective instinct I have; dropping the flowers I collected onto the small table by the front door, and as hesitant as Eri seems to want to play and be, eventually pulling her into my chest. “You ok?” Unintentionally what I saw seems to make her sob a little and my hold around her tightens as she buries her face into my chest. “Why are you crying babe? You’re going to ruin that beautiful face of yours.” Stepping back to create some space between us; I crouch down a little to look at her face to face and wipe her eyes dry. No tears will be falling on my watch - unless of course they’re tears of joy. “Babe - what happened? Am I hurting someone? Was it the guy who just left? I swear - if he hurt you.” Eri’s reaction is further fueled by sobs and whimpers and eventually the smallest chuckle that she tries to hide. Rubbing his back and playing with the ends of her hair, I whisper that I’m here for her and that she doesn’t have to talk until she’s ready. Whether it took 15 minutes, 15 hours of 15 days I’d be more than willing to wait.

Shunichiro'a POV

After being in my arms for more or less half an hour, Midori and I eventually head back to her dorm where Eriko and Toshiaki are nowhere to be found. Midi has ordered me to wait on the couch while she goes change, a quiet tune hangs in the air as she hums quietly. She’s excited and this makes me excited too and a bit nervous. Wiggling in the couch, the scent of flowers drifts past my nose and I smile when she stands shyly in front of me with a mini yellow dress.

“I hope this is okay,” she says quietly.

“Fits you perfectly.” The feel of her nervous breath against my skin makes me grins, next we’re out the door and everything else happens in a flurry.

Her mess of dark hair being played with, fingers hesitating and trembling as they gently brush across her smooth cheeks and shoulder. I keep fidgeting in my seat, closing the gap between us and pushing myself onto Midori’s sweet tasting lips. I never realize how much I longed for this simple contact that’s filled with such innocence, one not yet stained by lust or desire.

Midori has been blushing this whole time, I could feel her cheeks burn up and it only results me to scoot closer with more kisses till our food eventually arrive and interrupt our inseparable bond.

It’s a little after seven, and on a Thursday night no less, the place is still packed. Mostly patrons surrounding the bar and few couples by the window seats. It never ceases to amaze me how passionate Midi is when it comes to food, dessert, pizza and beer that’s all it takes to crack a smile from my girl. “I’m so glad you two drop by the library,” I chuckle as Midi takes a big bite on her pizza, sighing dreamily (over a pizza!)

“Oh me too.” She replies with her mouth full and quickly covers her lips, “I hope things work out in their end too.”

I nod, knowing that’s easier said than done. Eriko may want to change but changing the fundamental is almost impossible or else life lesson itself wouldn’t be that valuable. Most important of all, Toshiaki has experience enough pain for a life time, once was quite enough.

“I can’t believe we almost blow this over.”

And that’s when Midi pauses, almost hesitantly puts her food down and cups my cheeks in her shaky palms. Now, my heart literally fly to the moon and back, and swell up so much in my chest like it would burst any second.

Losing myself completely in Midori’s grip, everything replay in slow motion- how we met; the awkward double date; her overly drunken (but very sexy) state; our first fight and now here we are.

There is no rush. It feels natural, like she and I are meant to be.

“So Midori, would you be my girlfriend?”

Eriko’s POV

It’s definitely taken more than 15 minutes for me to calm down, I take a deep breath as the last of my tears dried up. Rikiya has been a sweetheart, listening to my hysterical crying and sobbing over another guy. I couldn’t quite recall my exact words but they surely wouldn’t be nice for him to hear with something along the lines of:

“He doesn’t want me.”

“He hates me, he must hate me more now.”

“He kissed me, I poured my heart out and he didn’t even tell me how he feels. Friends, he could do friends?”

“I’m soooo stupid!!! I’m just some dirty slut ..”

“STOP! ERI!”

A warm gentle touch on my cheeks is seriously dangerous, Rikiya’s caring tone and intoxicating scent is far too tempting for me to handle. He deserves better, so does Toshiaki, they all do. People like me don’t get appreciated, we are disposable, replaceable and easily forgotten.

“Eri, don’t cry over a guy who doesn’t see the real you. You are perfect the way you are. It’s his lost, not yours.”

It would be so much easier to let go, to fall into a set of strong arms or being melted into sweet kisses and irresistible touches. Lust doesn’t solve it all but it could numb my pain, it would be so much easier and familiar yet I find myself stepping back, keeping distance and choose a hot bath over intimacy.

“Thanks for the flowers, they’re lovely.”

The distant calling of my name and not so gentle slaps on my cheeks bring me back to my senses, lying on the bathroom floor, looking at an extremely worried and breathless Rikiya, wait why am I naked again?

“Babe! Thank God, you’re okay! You scared the shit out of me! Eri, who fell asleep in the bath! That’s it princess, you are not leaving my sight!!”

In one swift motion, I’m lifted up and allowing myself to be lost in Rikiya’s arms. I’m tired, exhausted from crying. I hardly cry and I certainly don’t like wasting tears on men, draining my energy and pride over one guy is enough. It’s easier this way, to be cared, appreciated, spoiled and loved by Rikiya- the bad boy in everyone’s eyes but the knight in shining armour in mine.

For once, I’m sharing my bed with a guy who lays next to me all night long with only his arms wrapping around me, simply being here for me like he has promised.

#eriko sato #eriko x toshi #eriko x rikiya #rikiya mononobe #asa #asa rp #asa rikiya #toshiaki kijima #im toshi #voltage oc x toshi #voltage oc x shunichiro #midori x shun #glory daze #multi oc rp #voltageocrp

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