#he’s still ed. he’s always been ed

[edsbacktattoo]

now we all know the ‘his name is Ed’ scene is important for like an unlimited number of reasons BUT i think my absolute favourite thing about it is the exact phrasing of it. like it’s one sentence, but the choice of words is so important. and the best part about it is the name that Stede chooses to use.

He doesn’t call him Blackbeard. He doesn’t even call him Edward, ‘cause that’s not who he is to Stede.

His name is Ed. he chose to use the name that Ed gave to Stede the moment he woke up. he chose to use the name that Stede knows him by, not the name the entire world knows him by. because who gives a shit about the rest of the world?

Not Blackbeard. Not Edward. Not Blackie or The Kraken or whatever else. Stede’s in love with him and it’s as simple as saying his name. and his name is Ed.

#i am not the first person to say this and i be knowin #but my GOD #that scene is just everything to me #and i love that the name stays the same. #through it all #through everything #he’s still ed. he’s always been ed #god life’s relentless #ofmd #our flag means death #stede bonnet #edward teach #gentlebeard #oh we thinkin?

[magniloquent-raven]

ed :(

#edward teach #izzy hands #stede bonnet #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #blackhands #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 #ofmd spoilers #ed's character arc this season hits a little too much #little too close to home #shit's real man #idk something about the fact that people he used to know always seem to be happy to see him #yet he still thinks he has no friends #he's been told he's loved but he doesn't want to hear it #because it's easier to just assume the worst

[sunnibits]

also. also. (quickly putting on my beekeepers outfit to protect from the hive that I’m potentially whacking). thinking about izzy saying “blackbeard. it was us.” izzy telling ed that he fed his darkness on purpose, that he maintained blackbeard on purpose, because he needed him. thinking about how ed begs izzy not to go, tells him he can’t leave him. (he needs him). thinking about how ed could never truly heal until he left blackbeard behind. thinking about how blackbeard is really two people, not one. thinking about how izzy tells stede in season 1, “it’s my job is to make sure that edward is content”. how it’s been his purpose from the very beginning to protect edward, to help him be blackbeard, to be his right hand man. thinking about izzy saying “I wanna go”. thinking about all the meta from season 1 about ed keeping izzy in episode four on purpose, because he still needed him. thinking about izzy telling ed that he’s ready. ed is ready. (and it’s not just ed. izzy is ready too. I want to go. ed, I’m ready. I don’t need you anymore. I don’t need blackbeard anymore. you can let go). thinking about izzy looking up, seeing ed’s face, and softly saying “there he is”. (when was the last time izzy truly saw ed and felt at peace with it? when was the last time he didn’t search for something darker underneath? how soft were there faces then? how young, how unscarred was their skin?). thinking about izzy telling stede that he thinks he’s good for ed, that it took him a long time but that he sees it now. (he trusts stede now. he trusts him to take care of his eddie. he couldn’t trust him before, couldn’t see it, but he knows now. he knows he’ll be okay with stede). thinking about izzy using his last words to tell ed that he’s loved, that he’s surrounded by family. (you’re safe now. you’ll be safe without me. you’ll be safe without blackbeard). thinking about how blackbeard has always been a form of protection, of defense - now unneeded. but blackbeard was always two people knitted together. two scrappy boys in a costume, like a prey animal fluffed up to twice it’s size. a skin that can’t be shed without splitting them both apart. stitches that can’t be undone without bleeding.

they’re both ready. they’re letting go.

“there he is.”

#this got so long I’m sorry I hope it makes any sort of sense #I just have so many feelings about them… #LIKE. ITS NOT JUST ABOUT ED BEING READY. ITS ABOUT IZZY BEING READY. THEYRE BOTH READY!! #izzy hands #ed teach #blackhands #ofmd #ofmd spoilers #BLACKBEARD. IS. TWO. PEOPLE. ONE MOVES ON. ONE IS LEFT BEHIND. #listen. listen. I know people are angry about the ending. I know people feel like izzy just got killed off for Ed’s sake #and that feels like a betrayal. I get it. #but listen. listen. he really couldn’t move on. he couldn’t move on with the other half of blackbeard lingering in his shadow. #genuinely I don’t like it much either yknow. I wouldnt have made that choice #I wish they could have told a story of mutual healing and moving on seperately instead without death #but NARRATIVELY it still makes sane and I appreciate that #besides. hasn’t the character of izzy always been about loving Ed at his core? #this is him loving. this is him doing what he feels Ed needs. #he needs to be able to let go. and izzy is letting him. #finally. he is letting him. #it’s love. it’s all about love. #it’s fucked up and twisted sure #but hasn’t that always been them? #the finale discourse #ofmd finale

[chibi-scone]

It’s been said before and the fact that I’m an Izzy simp aside like having a character who survives the most certain death shit ever (shooting himself in the head at point blank) and literally being nicknamed by another character “indestructible” and then become a symbol of protection for a whole group of people die from a fucking bullet to the side that was established in universe to have no vital organs in order to “atone for his sins” or however you wanna spin it and have him say he wants to go after (see point one) literally trying to kill himself in the show that is literally about growth and betterment of the self in a cruel world that wants you dead and where the main (and mostly queer) characters survive the most batshit insane injuries is like COSMICALLY stupid writing like I don’t even understand how you get there and the fact that it’s supposed to be a kind/ happy/meaningful ending is beyond me

#and Izzy’s whole speech to Ricky before that could be interpreted as what like #being about even if you kill and try to eradicate queer people we’ll always be here #and then have RICKY deal the killing blow ???? #wahhhh it’s symbolic #ok it would’ve been more symbolic to have the fucking queer character live like idc you’re all stupid god bless #ofmd critical #tbd #maybe #oh and then I mean not even talking about how it’s supposedly all good #because the main gays who had borderline no redeeming qualities this season had their picket fence ending #literally what’s the point of having Ed come back from the dead #so he can learn that death is not the answer and that there’s love and betterment for him #and have that whole scene with Jim and Archie where they refuse to kill one another because there’s more to life than the cards #they’ve been dealt and they can be the difference #JUST TO HAVE THAT ENDING #my god I just #sorry if you guys are sick of me ranting about ofmd like 5 months after the shit show supreme #but these are like all thoughts that I’ve just had in my head for months but tried to forget #and now they’re just spilling out like idc anymore #ppl have made so many good posts that all say what I think but ig I still need to rant myself jvhsjnv #how long can your neck be for it to allow you to bury your head so deep in the sand #where you truly believe this is good writing idk #side note but gifs of cats randomly blowing up are my favourites #‘Izzy bettered himself before dying so it’s aaaallll good’ hits you hits you #stupid ass shit argument but also that was across maybe a week and dude was piss drunk dissociative half the time

[saltpepperbeard]

Hey, felt like being angsty lol.

I was rereading your post about Stede not opening up and how people give him the opportunity to do so but he rejects it. And yes , Ed does do that in episode 6 but when else? Who looks after Stede in the way he looks after others.

This might be unpopular, but I don't think the crew feels the same found family way towards him that they do to each other. Yes, some of his behaviour rubbed off on them, but he doesn't seem like a priority to them. They like the environment he provides but not him, and that makes me sad.

Dammit I just want Stede to get mad and have it taken seriously. Like the last time was when he snapped at ed about Jack , and then Ed left (completely understand why).

...

now anon, why would you Do This. was just minding my business and sipping my silly little gay person iced coffee and was Brutally Attacked PFFF.

But okay, now that my heart has been torn out and is just Chilling On The Floor, I can share your sentiments. Because for REAL; something I want so so bad is for someone to look Stede in the eye and earnestly tell him that he's doing a good job, that he matters, that he's ABLE.

I think they were getting there. I think the seeds of such had been planted. The crew were beginning to adopt his practices and act with the kindness he instilled--one of my favorite examples being Jim using the Wooden Boy story to calm Fang down. And there were some instances where his skills were acknowledged, like Ed telling Lucius and Pete that Stede had things under control, Hellcat Maggie recognizing his "people positive management style" and reacting positively to it, and even Izzy throwing the little 👌 when Stede was assertive.

But like...EARNEST recognition? The same energy he puts out to everyone else??? HE NEEDS THAT.

Like...And THIS might be an unpopular opinion lol, but Ed complimenting him after the British beach fight. Again, we're GETTING somewhere. It's headed in the right direction. But it came from Stede fishing for it, and didn't have the same energy as the exchange between Ed and Zheng. He needs that same acknowledgement, that same EXCITEMENT, that same earnest "WOW you did so well and all your effort was so fucking amazing!!!"

Because he tries so hard! And does so much!

He literally put aside his own grief to make sure the crew made it safely back to the Revenge. He took a breath and acknowledged that the crew did what they had to do for their own safety, when they had killed the very reason Stede was running around the Caribbean. He continued to provide and look out for them even when his own feelings were gnawing away at him, and continued to lift them up whenever he could.

And yet they still found it so easy to walk away from him like pLEASE,,,

Granted, I think him caring for and prioritizing Ed after the events of episode 2 probably created quite the disconnect with the crew. And I think him riding his attention high in episode 7 and subsequently acting out didn't help their perception either.

But like, that's also just it: he CARES, and wants OTHERS to see him as well. He tears out his heart, and really just wants someone to finally catch it and cradle it. He just wants it all to mean something; HE wants to mean something.

SO YES, ANON; #LET STEDE BE EARNESTLY ACKNOWLEDGED 2KFOREVER

#Answered #Anons #Stede Bonnet #OFMD #OFMD Season 2 #OFMD S2 Spoilers #Revenge Rambles #The Revenge Crew #this is rotting my brain and stomping on my heart lmao because like #his behavior also kind of shows how deprived he is of said acknowledgement--of POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT #the way he bluntly fishes for compliments NUMEROUS times #like 'oh what exactly do you like about me?' type deal #And also how he reacts throughout episode 7 #Like...he's never gotten that #He's NEVER gotten that #He's always been disregarded or shrugged off or outright deemed incompetent/unworthy/etc etc #And it just kills me #I AM STILL SO VERY ADAMANT ABOUT STEDE HAVING //HIS// BATHTUB MOMENT #WHERE HE ADMITS HIS PAST AND HIS SCARS TO ED #BECAUSE IF ANYONE'S GOING TO SEE HIM LIKE THAT IT'S GOING TO BE ED #But mAAAaaaAAAANANSDHDJKLGHDLJFDJK

[lucky7i]

#"despite everything that happened dee- and yknow the events falling upon you thats happened- i still consider you Bondi regardless if youre #“technically in the club or not so- i just hope wherever you go you remember that” #whata fuckinh emding i guess it could’ve been worse and i enjoyed the highs and downbad lows #icant with these emo shits and drama queens today i cried and laughed sm (cried more) #its always when i have things to do irl after and my eyes are like @@ #time for a hot shower and sleep for 2 days now #war is over #< bro think he did something #wow what a journey #rip dukes n jess's gifti TT^TT shes with og vb tulip and paragone now the girls are home #I’m glad he went with the tutorial dee mentore ending leaving until someone needs him with some hints and not very closed ending >> sideeye #barrys such an emo himbo goldfosh lmao the literal ending it with a bang was hot and tragicsweet #hs last memory connection with dee Clueless #🖼️🃏 #i loved every last convo that was had with people- the bad and good and the painful and healing #i wish there was one with tj tho ): he called him when he thought it was his last moments in prison god i love that phonecall #wait right ill take their little chat at the gas station ⍢ it was so sweet #chip fey and ed and collin & bbs convos #and he’s been and always will be bondoi gladge #him pulling lots of new pple on their feet for years then either they exceed to great things and move on and away from him #or the city eats them and he never see them again and in all cases he ends up alone again #^i daydreamed about him saying something like that to b im glad he did #the way b speaks to him and how the club spoke to him is fascinating i want to talk about it and analys it #god not me analysing literature years after collage #and i know she was scuffed lmao but coppa looked like she said goodbye to dee too before she got into the car and idc ill take that #the two that i'll miss sm more than anything with barrys story and 4.0 dee and coppa #i think the john thing's so funny especially the “gaslighting himself that dees name was johnathon the intire time” in mc lmao but #🤲🕯️🩸 reunion in aus 🙏 🩸 rekindling 🕯️🩸 max prison or petty crimes 📿🛐 that part revival 🤲🩸🛐 its right there hes righthere 🌀😵‍💫 #dare i say the same dee with the same memories continues 4.0 with a new page and even closer with everyone 🚛 🏭 the copium overload #I also cant wait for more suffer and joy in 4.0 yippeee

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

As much fun as I'm having doing my alternative run of DA2, one thing I really miss about my mage Hawke is his friendship with Merrill.

Those two are best friends and he's 100% supportive in her goals toward the eluvian. Ed has the humorous/charming personality, too, which bounces off super well with Merrill. He doesn't think any less of her for her usage of blood magic; if anything he's impressed by her level of strength and willpower. He's so ready to defend her from the other companions and the clan, and he's absolutely out here attempting to matchmake her and Carver....at least he is in my heart because the game won't let me, it's fine, I'm not bitter about it or anything-

But then my warrior Hawke? She has the diplomatic personality with quite a bit of direct/aggressive thrown in there and she ends up having the same attitude as that one party banter Aveline and Merrill have: "Merrill, you're clearly talented and meant for great things, but you're stupid," and that's so difficult for me to lean into. I'm trying to play Aris differently so she ends up being so condescending to Merrill, like she's trying to gently tell her to give up on the eluvian but it doesn't come off well.

Also if Carver was around, Aris would be the opposite of Ed, she'd look at the suggestion of her brother and Merrill getting together and be like, "No :) I don't think so :) I like Merrill, she's my friend :) but she's not right for Carver."

But I guess it makes sense; if you told him that Bethany would giggle and kick her feet and twirl her hair around Sebastian, Ed would've thrown him in the ocean as a warning. Meanwhile, Aris is like, "A handsome prince that could take my sister away from all of this? Wonderful, we just need to work on his incorrect views on mages, but that shouldn't be a problem :)"

Anyway I miss playing Hawke as the #1 Merrill stan.

#dragon age 2 #da2 #da2 merrill #carver hawke #bethany hawke #sebastian vael #da2 hawke #edgar hawke #aris hawke #listen i'm a little weirdo i like comparing the different ways to play the heroes of da games but especially the different hawkes #i like comparing my own hawkes and i like looking at other peoples hawkes and the different relationship dynamics they bring to the table #kicks my little gremlin brain into gear #like ed always rivals aveline and their relationship is strained at best... meanwhile aris and aveline are ride or die best friends #and seeing aveline from both perspectives is....... well it's an experience i'll just say that sksksks #oh also i miss anders so much sksksk i miss his romance and the dynamic he and ed have #aris rejected him right from the start and while it's neat to see her character through an unromantic lens i still miss him and his bullshi #aris romanced isabela and *that* makes me want to bite nom nom so interesting and heartbreaking in its own way like losing leandra like tha #and then dealing with the qunari bullshit only to find out isabela's part in it before she abandons aris with the book #and then aris reunites with bethany who is bitter and pissed off and can't get away from her fast enough like........ the end of act 2 y'al #aris was *ready* for the arishok fight solely because she needed an outlet for her frustration and grief and agony #she couldn't kick his ass fast enough sksksksks and now she's so Done with everything and then isabela admits that she's in love with her #and it's just................. a lot. it's so much. i can't #anders and isabela's respective romances drive me nuts for very different reasons i love them #this has been another 'cj needs to ramble about [blank]' post #stay tuned for next week where she continues to sob about the hawke twins

[fist-amidst-the-hands]

something something after a particularly rough fight izzy has a cut high on his cheekbone near the corner of his eye. ed tends to his injuries and maybe it's the rum or maybe it's the way izzy is looking at him but he can't stop thinking about placing a tender kiss right over the mark

#ofmd #ofmd hc #blackhands #maybe they've fucked before maybe they've even made out a few times (drunkenly) but this... #this level of tenderness is something thats been building and growing and threatening to boil over but never has #because they can justify a quick fuck or even a sloppy drunken makeout session #that tension is strung so taught it's easy for it to snap #but this... this isn't tension. it's not strained enough for a snap #it's wide and deep and surrounds them like an unseen haze #it runs through their veins at all times it's always there it's gentle #hard to know when it even started and harder still to know what the tipping point will be because well #it's been there for so long #in my head this is when they're young and still crewmates on someone else's ship #later when they give each other their first tattoos izzy lets ed pick what to give him and just says 'keep it simple' #so ed chooses that spot just below the corner of his eye where he first gave in to tenderness #izzy blushes when he realizes and ed jalf smirks half smiles at the response #also this wasn't intended to be part of it BUT since ed can't read/write this is basically ed's signature right #oof i also want to make this part of a bigger thing but only time will tell #y'all when i said i can and i will go off in the tags I was NOT joking askdlfs #just a little post #... with big tags

[soggypotatoes]

the last few days have been a lot, in a good way, a really good way actually, but man my body is not used to this much positive change and hope about the future and I literally don't know what to do with it.. Ive felt hopeless and unable to look ahead bc I just couldn't see a future, for so long, forever rly... a series of things have happened that have changed that so suddenly I'm reeling.. I don't know how to handle it, being able to see a path ahead of me. it feels so strange. what do I do with this feeling 😅

#it's overwhelming! #first i get 100% on my first exam.. my tutor tells me he thinks ill do well and that my ideas are thesis worthy.. #i felt anxious about a fake study i came up with for an assignment (lol) and then my friend tells me something that fully affirms iy #my housemate has been working really hard on his mental health and taking huge strides #after many years of ignoring issues and me stressing out about it lol #im making progress finally! #but im scared #i havent been here before #the future has always been a hazy mirage that never came closer and i was. so thirsty but knowing it probably wasnt real #its still far away but suddenly it's clear #ed mumbles #and like. the thesis idea i had #combines my studies of zoology with psychology #and it's something ive been so passionate about for so long #i wasnt even telling him about it as a thesis idea #and then he said i should think about it bc it would be accepted easily bc nobody else is really doing this topic #it blindsided me! #i went from having teachers in high school telling me to drop out (seriously) #to people like this having faith in me and my ideas and abilities #went from being crushingly alone my whole life to suddenly having people around me supporting me #idk what to do with support still #but i can start trying to relax and let them support me finally

[starswallowingsea]

21 and 22 for sanji?

Ask game

21. When do you think they were at their happiest?

He's happiest when the Straw Hats are all together and having a big feast that he gets to cook for! I think he especially likes having big dinners to officially welcome someone into the crew and asks them about their favorite foods, foods from their childhood, comfort foods, etc. so he can really welcome them to the crew in his own unique way.

22. When do you think they were at their lowest?

Definitely during Whole Cake Island especially when confronted with his brothers. He was 100% hanging on by a thread during that whole arc until Luffy showed back up and rescued him

#message in a bottle #pingo1387 #gonna get dark in the tags so quick tw for suicide for the next tags but #i think if luffy hadn't come to save sanji he probably would have killed himself rather than continue to live under his father #idk if it would have been right away but it would have happened probably a year or two down the line. #okay tw over sanji and niki (related to tia's ask) both speak the love language of food #that's how they communicate with their friends. they keep track of who likes what and everyones favorite foods #always want to make people feel comfortable and ugh i have an ed but i still love them bc to me #they would be understanding of that and willing to help work through that slowly at your own pace #yknow. they mean a lot to me

[brokentoys]

korn's "4 u" describes ed's feelings towards gotham perfectly

#( 🧩 ✧ INFERIOR PUPPETEER ✧ | OOC ) #// AM I STILL DAMNED TO A LIFE OF MISERY AND HATE!!!!! #// ED THINKING DOING ALL THIS WILL MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER BUT HE'S STILL THE SAME MISERABLE RESENTING MAN HE'S ALWAYS BEEN #// WHAT YOU ALL PUT ME THROUGH - I'D DO IT FOR YOU #// DESPITE ALL THE TRAUMA THE CITY PUT HIM THRU ... HE STILL DOES ALL HE CAN FOR IT

[dirt-str1der]

Ever since i read this one fma fic about an alchemical natural phenomenon / disaster that happens once every few decades its been on my mind

#Listen to my problems #like every alchemist (person able to conduct alchemy) will start to act strange for a few weeks #then they all start to have strange thoughts and impulses. edward came up with the rubberband trick in order to snap himself out of those #trances. it worked for a while but the slight pain from snapping a rubber band against your wrist cant keep workinf #so mustang turns to straight up snorting cocaine which seems to keep the voices at bay but like i mean ed doesnt approve but if it works it #works ... eventually they all start to gather in an open field .. alchemists from all over the place forming a circle .. #edward handcuffs himself to mustang in an effort to keep him from walking off (at this point his wrist is a mess of red inflamed skin and #blood from using the rubberband so much) he fights mustang (walking steadily but mindlessly) so hard that it dislocates his shoulder and i #cant stop thinking of that description ... the joint of his shoulder sliding out of place with the consistent force ..... #he keeps pulling and eventually ed is dragged along (he fights the whole time but the call is too strong ...) #they find the other alchemists all waiting for their missing leader (its mustang!!!!) theyre lined up in concentric circles and mustang #walks right into the middle of all those circles. edward pulls at his arm theyre still lovked together .. ed is trying to get to his place #but he doesnt make it in time before the ritual starts with mustang right at the centre of it all ... #i dont actually remember the purpose of the ritual but it might have been to channel excess alchemical energy (yeah i realise that that cant #be it) back to the. earth. and after the event ends everyone wakes up without any memory of what happened #mustang being the conduit for all that power comes away from it with periodic fits of epilepsy ... and to him hes always been like this #... nobody remembers what happened ... even the last time this happened all ed was able to find was ancient newspaper articles talking #about their alchemists acting strange .... nobody remembers ......... ....................

[disengaged]

i lost 5 lbs ☹️

#eating habits have been shit since i started housesitting for my parents 2 weeks ago but i didn't think it was That bad #feels both good & bad but mostly bad. recovery is weird #anyways im gonna significantly up my caloric intake and hit the gym more than usual to prep for top surgery #but ugh . part of my brain is still 24/7 always like yess >:-) starve bitch #glad my friendboy is lowkey a gymbro cuz he's super supportive of my desire to get buff as hell & that's what keeps my eating in check tbh #can't get the hulk hogan physique if i'm not eating at a surplus 🫤 #pegasus speaks #weight ment tw #weight loss tw #ed tw #ed - #ask 2 tag

[scary-senpai]

Hello! I once read your post about Bang's red flags and it was very eye-opening to me 'cause I liked his char and chose to ignore all his behaviors 😩😩 Thank you very much!🤝🌷🌷

Oh, thank you so much for writing, lovely Internet Stranger! I’m assuming you’re talking about the one from my main blog, “Bang is made almost entirely of out red flags" ^_^ You probably are, because that's literally the title... But I know I've posted about him on here, too.

I think the "red flags" essay was the first fandom essay I ever wrote? I think I hammered it out at some wee hour of the morning and went to bed fully expecting OPM-Tumblr to come for my kneecaps during the night. I was pleasantly surprised to see that most people seemed to enjoy/appreciate it.

So, I’m glad you enjoyed my essay, but I didn’t intend to guilt you or make you feel wrong for liking a particular character. I do my best to keep my language at least somewhat neutral and not to be too harsh about anything, but I’m certainly not out to yuck anybody else’s yum. Also, when it comes to the “constantly beating your disciples thing”… I sometimes wonder if I’m being too harsh considering the piece of media. By and large, the audience is here to open up a beautifully inked can of whup-ass, not to watch an estranged disciple hug it out with his former mentor (although there’s certainly a highly invested/very vocal subset that is dying to see that).

I think it’s definitely okay to like a character even if they aren’t exactly a role model (or even if they’re the opposite of a role model)—I feel like that’s sometimes the point, actually. We can dissect behavior in fiction to an extent that we can’t in real life, so it’s a low-stakes place to talk about human behavior and gain insights applicable IRL. I appreciated Bang’s character more after I put all the pieces together. I mean, which is a more interesting story? Bang is the perfect mentor, and Garou goes down a dark path anyway? Or Bang does his best to help Garou but makes some notable missteps, and perhaps comes painfully close to getting it right, only to fall victim to a longstanding character flaw—I don’t know, maybe losing his temper at a time when Garou most needed compassion and patience? The second example is more interesting, I think—it gives us something to talk about.

I try to own up to my own bias, because I do find myself projecting a lot of my own emotions on Bang and Garou’s relationship. Around the time I started watching OPM, I had transitioned out of my long-time job in a rather toxic environment. It was my first real job out of school, and I worked for 7 years under someone who was very brilliant and had overcome some of the same obstacles that I did, but unfortunately he was also quite angry and downright manipulative at points. I stayed for a long time because I didn’t know any better, and I’m still kind of untangling that, honestly. He taught me a lot about systems, operations, and human behavior, and all of the skills I learned are fine as long as you use them in a neutral way--my boss was just super mean about everything. (He had mostly worked in high-stress finance jobs although we were in healthcare/human services, and I assume he was just carrying out the cycle of abuse when he told me things like: "if you worked for me at JP Morgan, you could get fired for making a mistake like this." ...And my mistake was double-sided copies instead of single-sided ones. Like, I am a salaried employee working 60+ hours per week, and I am still barely making rent, my guy. For JP Morgan money I will gladly eat your files instead of shredding them.) In any case, I feel a little conflicted when I pull these lessons out, even if I’m using them differently… like, "ugh, ex-Boss, why did you have to be so mean and so brilliant and so right all time..." It almost seems a bit like the scene where Garou pulls out Fist of Flowing Water Crushing Rock on the Tank-Toppers because he has no other choice. So actually, instead of thinking back to my ex-mentor I try to think of that scene instead ^_^ it saves me dredging up something unpleasant.

#one punch man #opm #meta #bang #eventually he went on medical leave and I ended up running pretty much the whole company #I made really good money towards the end *but* still way less than I should have been #which actually kinda f*cked them over because they didn’t think they had the budget to replace me #and because the pay scale was messed up junior roles in another location still made more than me when you controlled for cost of living #I managed to fix *the entire payscale* before resigning but you know #nobody’s going to suddenly get paid less just because I got butthurt over salary #anyway he messaged me on LinkedIn last year #and he said ‘you’ll always be executive director to me’ (because the most sr title I got was assistant ED) #even though we did not have a functional ed for years #so I blocked him and I still feel bad even though I shouldn’t #I am optimistic that I will recover from all this some day #now I work for therapists :) #10/10 would highly recommend #a significant pay cut but my day ends at 5 #I can’t put a price on working for reasonable people that value ethical decisions #it’s very much ‘your money or your life’ sometimes

[kyunsies]

the living situation is …. not good you guys ✌🏽

#mädch rambles #this is tmi and only close friends know about this so you can completely ignore <3 i just need to get stuff off my chest :’) #so my mom has been in this relationship w her bf for like 10 years and while we were still living at home they had a long distance #relationship #and the summer before i moved to uni she decided to have us live w him in the state that he lives in and ive been here for like 5 years at #this point #and basically we have been miserable for 5 years too …. and i do believe they loved each other #but things change in 10 years and this summer has been the worst . he had a heart attack this year and i guess it’s been putting a lot of #stress on him bc he’s starting to treat my mom like shit for no reason #and ive always had a Rocky relationship w him and quite frankly i don’t want him in my life i really just don’t want anything to do w him #but my mom has been wanting to move us back home bc my grandparents are getting older and we just. don’t wanna be here anymore ya know? and #he’s just been acting like such an asshole to my mom like blowing up on her for no reason … throwing things …. it honestly worries me a #little bc idk what’s brewing in his head and i just don’t want anything to happen to my mom physically or mentally #we just need to get out of here :’) go back home be close to family and never look back here ever again . it’s just hard having a single mom #bc you want to do everything in your power to support her financially but i still don’t have my job at the hospital yet bc i’m waiting for #feedback 😭 i just want what’s best for us and i want us to be happy and I want her to be happy and not be around this asshole anymore #we should have never mo Ed here in the first place …… #hoping we can get out of here soon :’) #just there’s a lot going on :’)

[i-will-sing-no-requiem]

taking a break from my Speak Now TV project to make a fun little multicouples valentines day video!

I'd had the idea to do a video of just dancing scenes for a while now and valentines day seemed like a great time to do it

Ships in the video under the cut

Midge + Lenny (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel) Tara + Darcy (Heartstopper) Nick + Jess (New Girl) Damon + Elena (The Vampire Diaries) Ed + Stede (Our Flag Means Death) Luke + Lorelai (Gilmore Girls) Emma + Killian (Once Upon A Time) Anne + Gilbert (Anne With An E) Snow White + David (Once Upon A Time) Jake + Amy (Brooklyn 99) Chidi + Eleanor (The Good Place) David + Patrick (Schitt's Creek) Hazel + Augustus (The Fault In Our Stars) Crowley + Aziraphale (Good Omens) Ben + Leslie (Parks And Recreation) Leah + Abby (Love, Simon / Leah On The Offbeat) Schmidt + Cece (New Girl)

#my edit #fan video #multicouples #including one shot of ed and stede because i'm still mad we never got to see them dance together #also the next vid in my SNTV project is almost done and hopefully will be on youtube by next week and it's ofmd #all about us by he is we #flashing tw #flashing cw #tw flashing #tw lights #otp: all hail the upper west side #otp: best gal pals #otp: its you and me its always been you and me #otp: it's right it's just not right now #otp: you wear fine things well #otp: will you just stand still #otp: you traded your ship for me #otp: carrots #otp: i will always find you #otp: romantic stylez #otp: there is no answer but eleanor is the answer #otp: you're simply the best #otp: our little infinity #otp: i love you and i like you #otp: two girls kissing on prom night #otp: it's ineffable #otp: girl imma marry you