thinking about nick and benji after everything…. some nights when nick is asleep and benji just can’t drift off he reaches out to the little bit of flood inside nick like it’s a pet cat, like hi sweetheart, you’re so pretty, yes you are, you’re so cute until nick has to reach over and bat at benji and mumble “i can feel that, asshole, go the fuck to sleep”
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homemade. fresh off the press. art credit to andrew white (author)
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"I wrote this book for a few reasons: Because I wanted more stories about boys like me. Because I was angry. Because I still am. But mainly, I wanted to show queer kids that they can walk through hell and come out alive. Maybe not in one piece, maybe forever changed, but alive and worthy of love all the same.
"That's what you'll find here. Terrible things, survival, love, and a future worth fighting for.
"Sharpen your teeth, take up your fire, and let's do this."
"For the kids who sharpen their teeth and bite."
I will never be over this book, bro. Just looking back at the author note makes me want to reread it again and I've read it 5 times now. It's a book that makes me want to scream and cry and throw it across the room and vomit up my insides and finally yell at the people who hurt me in the past. It makes me want to reach out to the people I used to know because it reminds me of them. Because Theo reminds me of one of my old best friends because Benji reminds me of myself and so many other beautiful and hurt and angry people because Nick reminds me that I'm not the only one going through this shit right now, that just because I'm neurodivergent doesn't mean I'm automatically weak or broken or less than even though that's what so many people that I grew up around want me to belive.
This book makes me feel so many fucking things at once, and I don't understand half of them, but I have never felt so seen. I have never felt so real and understood. I have exhausted my friends of sharing about it and gushing it, but I don't care because it's a book about boys like me and I can't get enough of it.
For fucks sake, I could already recite half of the god damned bible verses in the book and it made me cringe everytime but it made me feel so fucking seen because I know that I'm not alone in thinking like that. I know other people know that pain of not being able to get away from those verses and quotes, no matter how hard I try.
Andrew Joseph White has touched me in so many fucking ways with his writing, and I don't know how to feel about it, but I know for one thing now, no matter how much shit is thrown at me.
I am not alone, because I am one of the kids who needs to sharpen their teeth, and bite.
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more hell followed with us .... seraph testostrone is real to me
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THE COVER FOR THE ITALIAN VERSION OF HELL FOLLOWED WITH US THIS IS NOT A DRILL
LOOK AT BENJI!!!! THAT’S MY FAVORITE BOY RIGHT THERE!!!!!! AND HE LOOKS SO GOOD SAMUEL SPANO KNOCKED IT OUT OF THE PARK
https://x.com/ajwhiteauthor/status/1712983721379323915?s=46&t=pG2YrnlDmYKq9j_Qxb0NwA
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italian cover if hell followed with us fucks SO hard
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I am very new to Tumblr and I have no idea if I'm doing this right but look at what my friend made me! It's one of Benji and Nick's bead lizards! I read HFWU a week ago, I have not been able to stop thinking about it since (and I doubt I ever will.)
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Do You Know This Disabled Character?
Nick is autistic.
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my favourite type of character is a trans guy that’s actually not really human and kind of a fucked up monster with wings who kills people. his boyfriend also kills people.
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one of my favorite things about nick's love for benji is how he's always just there. if benji needs to pull down his mask and throw up, nick is standing quietly next to him to block him from sight. if benji needs to take out an entire death squad for vengeance, nick is there with a pistol covering his flank. if benji's hair is falling in his face nick is pinning it back with bobby pins. if benji's skin is falling off the bone nick is bandaging his arms to hold him together. words fail him so often, but this expression of love he can do. when benji needs him, he will be there. and he always is.
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Hell Followed With Us drawings
nick and benji and my bad sketches of Grace Benji
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