#his effort is just horrible

[saprozoicworm]

#they set him up to fail #but hes making an effort #his effort is just horrible #i really can just post anything on here i forget that #thats wild #craig tucker #craig and those guys #tweek tweak #south park creek #sp creek #creek sp

[seaglassdinosaur]

What’s so interesting to me about Odysseus’s transition in Monster is that he hasn’t changed all that much. He was always capable of violence and we know that because of everything he’s done in the war and in his journey. The only change that occurs is he’s chosen to no longer feel guilty, and to stop hesitating when it comes to violence.

#look my outlook is everyone always is capable of horrible things. under the right circumstances we will do violent atrocious things #that capability is in all of us. Odysseus shows that he was always capable of killing (and killing an infant!) #the fact that he feels guilty doesn’t change his actions #sure he tries to be better and be kinder but at the end of the day his efforts matter less than his actions and outcomes #right? #yes he streamlines his violence but he’s committed violence before! #when one intends to kill the speed at which they draw their sword doesn’t change the outcome #feeling conflicted about the thing doesn’t matter if you still do the thing #so in monster what he decides is to stop trying to preserve his ideals of morality #but from that his actions won’t exactly change. he’s going to kill people in the future and really that’s no different from his past #in letting go of his moral preservation isn’t he returning to be just a man? a man with no illusions of himself? #my post #epic the musical #epic the underworld saga

[destinysbounty]

There's this one part of season 5 that no one ever talks about, and it's either extremely funny or extremely depressing depending on who you ask.

See, Morro wanted nothing more than to be the green ninja, right? And, well, uh...

....he's certainly got the green part down, at least

#listen. is it kinda depressing that he died in his efforts to become the green ninja and became a green ghost? #that he was only able to achieve a monkeys-paw perversion of his goal through dying horribly? #yes. that thought is gonna do irreparable psychic damage to my brain #BUT its also very funny to me #morro is just constantly ranting about how he deserves to be the green ninja #while the whole time hes physically more GreenTM than the Green Ninja himself #bestie your skin is green. is that not enough for you #ninjago #morro ninjago #ninjago morro #ninjago possession #ns5 #destiny post

[nuclearanomaly]

Post workout cuddle, y/n?

pose ref

#ffxiv #Ninira Nira #Estinien #Estinien Varlineau #Estinien Wyrmblood #estinien x wol #wolstinien #I guess ship content on valentines afterall? #art: mine #Nothing fancy just more gracious pose refs because my brain is buffering a bit again #and like sometimes I try and size Nini more when I use a pose ref but ehg I couldn't be bothered today... big lala lmao #funny bc I did try to make Estinien's legs longer and did a little but was like no I want 0 effort left beef rn #Nini says gross ur all sweaty #is this a pushups reference? kinda? same fit #do u ever look at how they gave him his AF pants but his casual boots in that scene #and think why didn't u just give him those pants with his casual outfit ALWAYS #do you think they loaded him in in the horrible eureka leggings and saw the shot of his ass when he stands up like: we can't do this #bc it would have been horrible #would have RUINED the scene 1000% #lets all be thankful for the AF pants #this has been: I bitch about the stupid eureka pants again ty for listening

[smile-files]

there's something interesting to be said about how nickel's female friends have to constantly school him on how horrible he is but animationepic won't say it

#melonposting #spoof #<- kinda #ii neg #<- also kinda #i hate nickel. i need to kin balloon just so i can experience dropping nickel into that stupid cereal box pit #also y'know what to those people who think nickel loves clover... you're right he is kinda obsessed with her #in that he hates her so much for something that he wants (being a likable/good/happy person) <- according to my interpretation anyway #of course he doesn't want/know how to put in the effort to have it #suitcase screamed at him (as she should've) and that didn't go through his thick skull #only clover in her infinite gentleness and grace could let him know that perhaps he should say sorry for harassing someone all their life : #and even then it isn't sincere #like please don't tell me any of you took his 5-second bizarrely emotionally intelligent notes app apology seriously. good god #like i dunno it was just like clover said to apologize and he said 'on it boss' #or what are we just gonna believe that ae was like. y'know what? this guy just needs to say he's sorry #once #out of nowhere #and we won't have to worry about the horrible things he's done to people (cough cough suitcase) #like heck even if balloon accepts this bs it doesn't do jack for her (not like he should anyway) #this idiot's just so far in the socioemotional gutter that after doing a series of horrible things (which he's been made well aware of) #he'll only so much as acknowledge that he did them if it means he gets friendship points from ae's princess celestia #good god man you're not the leader of a stupid team anymore. get over yourself #the funny thing is that the only excuse for his writing lately is basically a headcanon on my end #i'm just reading into this nonsense. as far as i know he's just being written horribly haha #he's interesting to think about in the lens of 'guy who wants to be happy/good/likeable but does not actually care about anyone' #but if i'm being honest with myself to ae he's just 'jerk who's actually nice now. no he isn't. yes he is for real this time (believe us)' #whatever i need to go to bed

[grantwilsonenjoyer]

something so funny about matt saying "its just like shooting a deer!" about grant killing the chimera. and freddies "yeah but no one has had to TELEFRAG a DEER"

#dungeons and daddies #dndads #grant wilson #also #gestures to all the hero oak swallows garcia art about her having to kill deer specifically #matthew you did not reach your target audience with that one LMAO 😭 #i get what hes saying & how he wouldnt necessarily think abt the impact of it in the moment when he suggested it #HOWEVER i also disagree bc i feel like after Listening Back to that arc it is quite clear how that would be traumatic idk #i agree w freddie. like shooting something is one thing but ?! #idk . IDK i am just rambling #i am giving matt some grace though bc I understand his frustration w/ people using the chimera thing to make darryl seem like a horrible da #darryl wilson my beloved u are such a good father #idk i think people ignoring how much darryl changes in his efforts to talk to grant r ignoring a major part of grants character #which is that no matter how much someone loves/supports you it isnt going to suddenly get rid of ur trauma #ahem. Anyways. darryl is a wonderful dad and grant loves him very much 🩷 #I should write something about them hmm

[themoonking]

finally finished the priory of the orange tree after putting it off for like a year, and putting aside the fact that it's insanely boring, way too long, and the romance is lackluster, it certainly was a choice to, in a book at least in part about finding common ground and coming together, basically go "religion a is correct and good and its believers can continue on their merry lives, but religion b is a 100% incorrect wrong bad lie founded by a wrong bad misogynistic lying liar, and everyone who believes in it should convert and in fact we're going to end the book by heavily implying that the recently-converted queen is going to slowly but surely pressure the entire country to convert because their faith is wrong and bad". like that was certainly a decision that samantha shannon made.

#idk i don't love an entire religion being painted as objectively inherently bad and wrong #especially since none of the six virtue's actual teachings are that bad like #and also esp since the only other thing we learn about galian berethnet is that he was fucking r/ped by his own mother #and was so distraught upon learning this that he killed himself #the fact that aside from that its just like 'he was a lying liar who lies and hated women' just didn't sit right with me... #the priory of the orange tree #priory of the orange tree #the roots of chaos #anti booktok #samantha shannon #like the entire time before this was revealed i was like #'ah its so obvious - both faiths are going to end up being a little bit wrong and a little bit right' #'of course it will be revealed that cleolind and galian actually worked together to defeat the nameless one' #'and learning this will really press into the characters that they themselves need to work together to defeat him again' #but instead like???? #and like even with the kalyba stuff it would have been so easy you can say like: #cleolind and galian worked together but kalyba (canonically posessive and jealous and willing to do horrible things to keep galian w/ her) #uses her magic to make cleolind believe that galian betrayed her which she then goes and tells her priory #+ in an effort to keep as low a profile as possible for herself while disguised as cleolind she makes galian believe that he did everything #and when her disguise falls he's so distraught that he kills himself and so the only one who knows the truth is kalyba #who certainly has no motivation to reveal the truth

[androgynouspenguinexpert]

another blake because he's my favourite for psychoanalysis reasons <3

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #art #illustration #redactedverse #redacted blake #do you guys ever think about how blake has essentially sealed his own fate through his selfishness #because he either cant or wont connect the dots that he's the common factor in every one of his partner's horrible deaths #and he would rather Have this person than guarantee their safety by staying away from them #blake is incredibly clever so he's either been blinded by denial or hes fighting tooth and nail not thinking about it #his goals seem incredibly short sighted (ha) because he's so hyperfocused on stopping his partner's death through any means necessary #other than letting them go #blake is straight up fucked like a good third of the characters are on a warpath towards closeknit right now #vega would turn this man into a mince patty the size of a sleeping bag with very little effort #and the writing is so fantastic that i genuinely have no idea if blake will learn his lesson in time before the sovereigns get ahold of him #just me?

[mezzmerizd]

Watched Tango's S8 of hermitcraft all in one day today! I am in fucking shambles about all of the implications!!!

#minecraft roleplay but me when i take it fucking seriously #like it is edited and made to be all goofy and fun #BUT THAT MOTHERFUCKER SEEMINGLY DIED ONE OF THE MOST HORRIBLE DEATHS OUT THERE FOR FUCKING NOTHING #IN THE END ALL HIS EFFORTS DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING MATTER #i'm so fucking fine i didn't just cry for about an hour and will not continue to do so for the next few days <- is lying #tangotek #hermitcraft s8 #traianos talks

[oplishin]

No one in unordinary has a backstory (besides the obvious exception) so here’s my two cents (headcanons) on Arlo’s history

He was born out of wedlock (I promise this is relevant to The Way That He Is in canon)

When his parents met his father was a middle aged very influential government official who did make a bit of an effort to be in Arlo’s life, but had a whole nother family. Arlo was primarily raised by his mom during his early childhood. Arlo’s ability comes from his fathers side, and val is his paternal aunt

Arlo’s father tries to be affectionate, genial old man, but. He’s just quintessentially unprepared to help raise a young child. He’s also in his 70s during canon so he’s very out of touch to what Arlo’s life is even like. Arlo is mostly just standoffishly polite to him

Arlos mother was a broke college student when he was born. She felt like a failure for getting pregnant before doing anything with her life, so she kind of unconsciously externalized that onto arlo- “if I raise this child to successfully enough, I won’t have failed as a parent and as a person”

She was unyieldingly strict and demanding at all times. She always pushed him to get stronger, to raise himself in the hierarchy because it was her way of proving that she was doing something valuable. She loves him, but maybe not as much as the idea of him. I don’t think she was abusive, but certainly just. Not a Good Mom

It kinda works out for them because arlo inherits his dads power and absolutely excels at it. He measures himself by hierarchy but it hasn’t destroyed his self esteem because. Turns out he’s pretty great at hierarchy actually

At some point Arlo’s mom sends him to live full time with his dad because he can provide so many more opportunities for him. It’s a pretty cushy lifestyle

Arlo has 3 half siblings from his dads side that are all MUCH older than him, like 14 years older at the youngest (in canon they are all in their 30s)

In his early childhood they all really resented him for ruining their parents’ marriage. His mom tried to keep him away from that shit, but it got into his brain a bit. His method of dealing with it (like in canon) is just. Repression repression repression baby!! Can’t have problems if you just fight people about them. He inherits his moms perspective on hierarchy: no one can judge you if you’re the most powerful person in the room

Val was the one person on his fathers side that really tried to form a relationship with him which is why he looks up to her so much. Whether it’s because she actually cares about him or it’s because she thought he’d end up as a valuable resource, well. Arlo certainly believes the former

His now grown ass adult siblings regret being shitty to him. They try to reach out and reconnect now but Arlo is Arlo about it and just brushes them off

Arlo ends up the tallest and the most powerful of all his siblings

His mom ends up remarrying and starting her own family too. She gets happiness. She changes from that bad parent from the earlier parts of his childhood and tries to fix things. She’s been able to move on from the toxic mindset she raised him with, but he’s still stuck there with the trauma she’s given him.

Arlo’s kind of stranded between 2 happy families and he deals with it by!! Pretending the only life he has is the one at wellston. He throws himself into his duties as King and ignores everything else

#arlo unordinary #didn’t realize I had so many arlo mom headcanons #sorry that the tense changes so haphazardly #unordinary #Arlo’s mom is also Asian to me (NOTE THAT I AM ASIAN SHH) #he’s just very white passing and constantly gets shit for it from that side of his family #or it’s the horribleness of being praised for looking whiter than everyone else #uhhh what else #arlo is also even taller in my headcanons than he is in canon #idk how I feel about Arlo’s mom having other kids because arlo just radiates resentful younger child/only child energy #which is why despite his best(???) efforts his relationship with remi is so. mishandled #but yeah #on god I should just make an oc out of this material I’ve done so much legwork #astute jojo fans will note that I just josuked him #to which I say. shhhhh you saw nothing #it’s like josuke if Tomoko had a lot more focus put on her #jeta posting

[b0nelessdoodles]

the rest of my wilfree doodles this time more sad 'cause i'm uh

#dungeons and dragons #dnd #dnd character #dnd artificer #shadow thrall #shadow thrall wilfree my beloved #the theme of wilfree in the end being the downward spiral of someone with addiction #addition and obsession really but regardless same vibes #obsession over the mistakes of his past #and his whole relationship with v is very akin to a drug dealer and the buyer #v whole ass manipulated wilfree until he ended up giving himself up just for the chance of saving someone else #for a scrap of self worth #something v knew he had very little of since the day the two met #i thought hi was my most tragic character but then i watched wilfree's downward spiral in real time #for a little while he seemed to be doing better but the death of river was in a way his own death sentence #he was doomed from the start and despite his best efforts #or rather the efforts of the people around him #there was no saving him #an npc at the end tried so hard i could tell to try and cheer him up or at least make him feel better in a horrible situation #telling him that he really did do good during his time in that location and that he helped a lot of people #but v had already put the cards on the table and it only served to push him farther because of course he did good #that is exactly what v wanted him to do #okay enough rambling nobody gives a hoot lmao goodnight

[bookwyrminspiration]

What if when Sophie came to the lost cities the black swan had been overthrown, and their leaders arrested. So by the time she arrived, she doesn’t have that same support. I think it’d take the story in a crazy, but fun new direction.

oh that would be very interesting--not only would she have significantly less guidance at the start of the series, but depending on how the Black Swan were handled, the attitude towards Sophie could be quite different; she'd be the product of known convicted criminals, not just the odd human girl.

She was observed when she first arrived, but I imagine that would've been much more intense in this situation. I wonder when she would've arrived, actually. Because Alden didn't find Sophie by his own work, Mr. Forkle led him to her. So without him, when on earth would Sophie have been brought to their world? Would they have discovered that sort of information through a mind break and located her around the same time, or would years pass?

I'm imagining the Mr. Forkle who posed as her neighbor might've escaped being arrest, which would create an interesting dynamic with her having one singular influence and resource.

But that aside, without the rest of the Black Swan able to work masterfully behind the scenes, there'd be no notes, no clues to prompt hidden memories. It would require a lot more work on Sophie's part to figure things out--which, depending on when she was brought to the lost cities and how (agreeing it was the best decision vs council forcing her, for example), she may or may not be capable of.

I'm also curious how that would impact her morals and sense of right; we see her learning from and guided by the Black Swan for most of the series before she branches out, following their methodology and beliefs on the limits. If they were never there, what's stopping her from going a step further much sooner? Especially if she's being more heavily monitored/judged and in order to make any impact she has to push harder--side note: I feel like in that case she might become similar to Tam in her disdain, she didn't do anything but exist and need help and this is what they did?

Would she be allowed to attend Foxfire with a significant association with a serious criminal organization? Even if she hasn't done anything yet, she might. And if she doesn't go to Foxfire (or is too old when brought), her friend group would be entirely different. She might not even have a friend group and it would instead be her against the world, perhaps a few misfits gathered along the way. Fitz might still be around because he found her, but Biana might stay bratty. She wouldn't meet Marella or Jensi, and she wouldn't have been adopted by the Ruewens (because confirmed huge Black Swan association when he thinks they killed Jolie? no way) so no meeting Dex. If she doesn't go to Foxfire, I could see them sending her to Exillium, in which case she might keep Tam and Linh as friends--but with a very different dynamic, since I think Sophie would be incredibly bitter.

Actually now that I'm thinking about this maybe she'd be picked up by the Neverseen. At least temporarily and in the same way that Rayni was--not that she's for their atrocities, but because they extended a hand when no one else did. Which!! Could then be an interesting exploration on how she wasn't a criminal, but via seeing her as one/as dangerous they limited her options and made her into one. She wouldn't have joined the Neverseen if they'd treated her properly, but they didn't, so now she did. Except they don't see it as their fault, as a consequence of their boxing her in, but instead as confirmation of what they always feared.

indeed, Nonsie, there is a lot of potential for a very different but fascinating story here. I've barely scratched the surface of all the implications and everything you could do with it!

#kotlc #kotlc ua #quil's queries #nonsie #(ua as in universe alteration. instead of au) #personally i'm rooting for sophie gets found when the black swan is arrested and they have their minds broken #and so she's brought about the same time. and is then sent to exillium because she's too dangerous to send to foxfire #and its just her in this new world all alone #except for the forkle who was in the human world. the immense secrecy of what he was doing left him the sole surviving core member of #the organization. who's now increasingly bitter #and does what he can to help her and her friends the song twins who have also just been grievously wronged and have #found each other through that #they teach her how the elven world works but without the pretense #and their outrage and outbursts (primarily tam and sophie. as linh's struggling with herself instead of her world atm) #catch the attention of the neverseen #and despite his efforts. the remaining forkle. maybe doesn't have it in him to dissuade them anymore #throw in a vindictive wylie who just lost his second father?? #group of 4 horribly wronged by the system and FURIOUS #yeah. that could be quite interesting

[sincerely-sofie]

I made this blog mainly as a place to store art + memes for my fandoms and doodles of my original stories. I’ve posted a lot of the former, but none of the latter, so… Here you go? Have some goofy “incorrect quotes” inspired jokes of a project of mine called The Name-Oath.

Context is indented and italicized, but you can probably read through the doodles below without getting too confused if you skip it:

The first half of the actual plot is your standard fae romance starring a human woman who doesn’t realize the male lead is a supernatural creature, and just thinks he’s really into cosplaying alone in a mansion in some freaky forest. The second half is rom-com shenanigans between the divorced human woman and male lead after the world's ugliest breakup. He desperately tries to get back together at every waking moment and she just wants to hang out with her bestie Summer and raise her half-fae daughter in peace. The human woman is named Eglantine, but goes by Egg. She got stuck with the nickname during high school and decided to start going by it in an effort to have a more "average" sounding name. This did not work as intended, but it certainly helped her avoid getting her name stolen when she first met the male lead. She's something called a skipwitch. This is a whole worldbuilding thing I'm not going to get into here. The male lead is named Kieran. He is a drama king. He spent several centuries under magical house arrest. He can talk to rats. He has pretty hair. This is all you need to know about him, except maybe the fact that he's royalty. Summer is Egg's best friend, and she is the resident fae expert in her and Egg's coven. Competitive and protective of Egg. She hates Kieran's guts, and the feeling is mutual. Egg and Kieran's daughter is named Violet, but she goes by Froggy. She is a terrifying force of nature by virtue of being the offspring of a skipwitch and Unseelie prince. Enjoys microwave pizzas, her pet beta fish, video games, and getting her way. Alois is Kieran's invisible butler. He's a surprisingly talented singer.

#I've had this sitting in my drafts for ages bc I was too nervous to post it. oops. #That one comic wasn't an exaggeration btw--- Egg DID survive her first encounter with Kieran despite not knowing magic existed #She kept evading all the stereotypical Fae tricks like asking for your name / trying to get you to eat and drink Fae food #COMPLETELY by accident #Like. #“Hello there. May I have your name?” “Just call me Egg dude. Everyone does it." #“Would you stay a moment and have a drink with me?” “No thanks I just want to use your phone so I can call a friend to pick me up.” #Kieran was spent a lot of the evening they met being very angry that none of his tricks were working. #And then he later found out it wasn't that they weren't working because this mortal woman knew exactly how to slither her way past them--- #she had NO CLUE what she was doing. #He is even angrier when he learns this #and his anger is compounded by the fact #that he is developing a crush on the mortal woman who he's been trying to woo to break a curse on himself #and she is not at all wooed despite his best efforts #Like. At all. #His plan to break the curse has backfired horribly. #Oh “Lady Killer in Love” trope how I love thee #stuff by sofie #The Name-Oath #fae folk #fae #faecore #fae romance #fantasy romance

[demirose-colored-glasses]

Skye did nothing wrong. They're all neck deep in a lot of emotions. Grief can messy even when it seems like the people are estranged.

#tsitp #the sunmer i turned pretty #skye had every right to say what they did #you have to understand that Skye sees Susannah though all the ways shes hurt their mother with her toxic positivity #like susannah not telling her kids shes dying so they could enjoy the summer would have been EXTREMELY traumatzing to them #even if they found out when she wanted them to #the recent episode proved that she has always just prefeded to sweep any and all emotions under the rug #which means she barely allowed her sister to grieve the death of their father with her #because Susannah decided itd be best for everyone to ignore it #Skye is likely watching their mother try to get rid of the house in an effort to move on from the past in a way she never got to #and that doesn't mean shes totally in the right but it doesnt mean shes evil #and skye had every right to point out that there were two sides here #Skye and their mother are probally having a very hard and conflicting time with the loss #i had a horrible relationship with my father and when he had a stroke i was a wreck because there were so many things that werent resolved #and they werent even my fault they were his #grief hits people like a truck #skye hasnt seen their cousins in a long time and its under such horrible circumstances #and they have taken every chance to shit on their mother #sure a lot of their points are right but there IS more to the story and it is okay that Skye got upset and pointed that out #neither of the sisters are perfect thats how people work #demirose glasses off #i wouldnt be surprised if we learn even more about how dysfunctional the family was when they were kids or other trauma #tsitp spoillers #the summer i turned pretty spoillers

[rosemary-bells]

#lord god in heaven is the photo quality supposed to be that bad in preview #coughs anyway!!! #this is the last time i draw a background ever <3 #that was the longest four hours of my life bcs i don’t do backgrounds and it was awful <3 #pollen #hope y’all enjoy my offering of babygirl #husky and his white cat shizun #erha #2ha #ranwan #(implied) #who else would be holding his hand. god? #ignore the fact that i didn’t draw his hands for a reason also <3 (hand horrible) #i drew this while being driven around and ended up w severe carsickness. who knew thag someone w carsickness would feel worse drawing in a c #i tried drawing him w reference this time bcs he deserves the effort. i’ll do it for you #also it took me literally ages to realize he had a ponytail and not the half up/half down hairstyle #cried for an hour when i found that out <3 #anywayyyy! enjoy #i used a color filter bcs i wanted the dramatics and forgor that it doesn’t look good w/o extra effects so just think of it as a stylistic d #decision and not a mistake. simply close ur eyes

[hobisexually]

x

#i! feel! so! disconnected! from everything and everyone #and it’s so god damn annoying #I either feel nothing at all or everything at once and I can’t balance it #but if I take the time to sit with the things I’m scared of I’ll just keel over I don’t have time for it #Im just on autopilot moving ahead #because I have to! if I don’t my fear will win from me and that will Not be pretty #and that’s what I’m so upset about like I didn’t get something I really wanted #and it’s fully because of anxiety but the alternative is WORSE #and the people involved don’t KNOW I have anxiety but I can’t tell them either because it will make them look at me differently and I can’t #afford them to. I can’t let that happen and I think this is the first time I’m realising how much it holds me back even after uni #and I’m so angry over it dndndnd so so so angry and if they KNEW how much I had gone through no one would ever doubt my ability to — #bounce back and take charge of a situation ever again. they’d know I can do that. But it’s too private to share so now it’s up to me to #BELIEVE it and just show them but it takes so much out of me every time #and if it weren’t for the pandemic I would’ve been much further along and if it weren’t for my fucking burnout I’d have been further along #and it weren’t for my Fucking dad I’d be further along. I’m just so mad #so mad that I have to undo and tackle so much when people just sail through things but for me EVERYTHING takes effort #also I have not seen or spoken to my dad since December and I have a wedding he’s attending and I can’t get out of it #and I constantly pingpong between ‘its for the best I broke off contact I needed the space to heal’ and ‘I am a horrible person for taking #his only daughter away from him instead of talking’ #but I’ve TRIED the talking and he just never LISTENS????? and made me feel so unsafe in this world at all times #I’m constantly trying to undo all that and it’s exhausting and no one gets how much effort that takes and I can’t tell them either #like. not gonna unload my trauma on people but if they KNEW they’d get why I don’t always react optimally to things the way they do #aaarffggHhhhHHHhHhhh #also I’m not even enjoying festa I’m not tuned in at ALL and that’s also deeply upsetting but there’s no other way atm #Also. did a thing in PFPT today that. I feel complicated things and I’m just upset about the way my life’s been until now #its making me feel worse than I was expecting #oh AND I was on a trip with friends I’ve had for 16+ years and they all were so happy to be together #felt so connected with each other and it was familiar and safe and lovely they said #meanwhile I cried at 3am in the bathroom because I had never felt more alienated from them ever #I know who /I/ am and what I want and don’t want but the dissonance with the rest of the world….. what the fuck man. What is my place even