#honestly I just like normalizing health stuff | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

simgaroop · 2 days

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I think I am neurodivergent.

There is no official diganosis and at this stage in my life I probably won't look for one. But in recent years I've started to think I probably am one. I even thought about asking my therapist about this, just before she released me a couple years ago. But it just felt like I was making things up at the moment. Besides, it is pretty stupid for a mental health specialist to self-diagnose, so that's why I am not saying this with complete certainty.

Huh, this is one of those posts I should be writing in Spanish.

Anyway, why am I randomly posting this in my Sim blog? Well, because I am exhausted. I've spent the last two months carrying a huge figurative boulder on my shoulders and just pretending (or masking) non stop. If you met me in person, the most likely impression you would have of me is that I am a very calm, warm and sweet person, who has her shit together, is the voice of reason, a great listener, someone who is eager to come up with solutions to any problem. Someone who has control over her emotions, who likes "normal" everyday stuff. People look up to me and I am constantly been asked for support, both in my professional and personal life. I am so nice and adaptable, that I was able to practically live in a hospital for over 5 weeks, just leaving it to go to work.

However, deep inside I am a very anxious woman, who is triggered by thoughts of death, disease (of loved ones), doctors and hospitals. I need to have my time to be alone. I prefer (almost need) to sleep in a very dark room and listening to movie or videogame podcasts. I've always been into videogames and animated shows, and I tend to obsess about those topics. I used to write a lot of fanfiction and loved it, but have never told a soul because I am so embarrased by it. I prefer to be alone, I hate to make and answer phone calls and when I get a notification on Whatsapp I really need to take a moment to even read the message (and it is even worse if it's a voice message). I am socially awkward in situations that are not related to work. I used to stimm a lot when I was a child, and I still do it when I am stressed. I was a picky eater. I used to be the lonely child who preferred to be by herself and only made friends because my parents were worried. I do not watch series on Netflix, but I can browse Youtube for hours and watch Lets Plays and documentaries about shows. I've always wanted to share my nerd tendencies, but I can't, because I am a woman in her forties, and my family and social circle look down on that stuff. So I constantly pretend and only when I am alone at night I can browse and look at the stuff I like, which is honestly very innocent, but I feel like I have to hide it.

And these last weeks I have had to constantly hide myself in my "social" and "professional" self. And I am exhausted. I feel like my heart is heavy. And it is even affecting my work performance.

So I come to my nerdy spot on the Internet to vent. To the one place in which I can sort of be myself and hope like someone might read this and understand.

*Reads Post* Wow, this is why I mostly lurk. I sound like a 15 year old and my urge to pretend that everything is fine with me is screaming that I do not post this. 😥

#non sims #definitely deleting later #delete later

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cleolinda · 10 months

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A personal update

because Never Not Oversharing Medical Conditions 2k23: my A1C (average blood sugar levels) has become actual trash, and my GP has put me on Metformin. This is also good for polycystic ovarian bullshit, which I quite thoroughly have! Overall I feel like this is a good development. My gastrointestinal happenings do not agree with this. This is a known and common side effect of starting Metformin and probably will subside, if I don't come down with lactic acidosis first. (It's fine! Relatively rare! BLACK BOX WARNING: A SERIOUS PROBLEM AND CAN LEAD TO DEATH) Nonetheless, this has created a bit of a speedbump in terms of getting things done. I think I will feel a lot better very soon, particularly in terms of fatigue, but right now, there may be no Long Effort Posts this week. Weekend Links will go up as usual.

#honestly I just like normalizing health stuff #like medications: talk about them #it's okay to be on them #sometimes they get weird and you need to be able to advocate for yourself #'hey can we check in on this possibility of death'#'like is there something I need to know about this'#'how possible is it exactly'#'does it interfere with all the other meds that might kill me'#'I feel like this is useful to know; thanks'#health #medications #not sure if #death tw #me for some reason #odds and ends

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acekindaneat · 2 months

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I don't want this to end.

A cute little date scene that I really liked from the fic The Big Woo by @tinkertoysdamn !!!!!

#it's a very fun and insane/pos AU #it's like those silly afternoon reality tv shows ;]#thats why it's still one of my favorites honestly #anyway as u can tell i kinda disappeared from making things and i can explain #1 there was something wrong with me health-wise so i kept getting check-ups and doctors just Guessing #until we got it right which I won't go into detail but finally figured out why i get fatigued so easily ..#2!!!! i've been grinding and levelling up on genshin bc i want to hangout with my pookie bear 😘😘😘😘 also i've been wanting to play it so #okay anyway done rambling hello tag readers i love you #happy valentine's day here's multiple treats pick one or more mwa 🍓🍒🍉🍉🫔🍧🍡🍨🍦🥧🍰🍮🎂🧁🍭🍬🍫🍪#okay here's the normal tags LOL #reigen arataka #serizawa katsuya #serirei #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #mp100 fanart #mi art stuff

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caffeinatedopossum · 1 year

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Getting sick as an adult and having the terrifying realization that when I would get multiple sinus infections a year from my "allergies" and my mom told me I would die if I didn't take my medicine even though I only felt mildly ill...

yeah turns out what she meant by that was not "sinus infections are very deadly" but was in fact "I will not take you to the hospital if this gets so bad that it starts to kill you and I cannot afford a dead kid on my hands"

#like not to shame people who suffer from sinus infections. like sure they suck. but under normal circumstances they should not be killing u #and neither should allergies to pollen for that matter #it was also a problem because i was pretty severely underdeveloped (still am) and my throat was genuinely so small i couldnt #swallow the pills without very bad pain and fear of choking. especially since i was unable to breathe through my nose #like taking any amount of time to swallow something when your nose is completely congested feels bad #i also couldnt handle the liquid form of dayquil that i wad given because i knew it made my siblings gag and i had awful emetophobia #anyway yeah just thinking back on the neglect as an adult really puts things into perspective #i can think of at least 10 times off the top of my head that she would have let me die without batting an eye #and idk how i survived honestly. i guess i was just fortunate because theres no way i saved myself in those scenarios #actually there was one time my sister took me to the ER (against my moms will even though she had health insurance 🙃)#but that was when my sister was an adult #i mean that same sister also did allow other shady stuff though without batting an eye so idk how grateful i should be #like she was perfectly fine with the fact that our house had no heat and i just occasionally (every day) could not be woken up #idk what kinda double standards she had going on there but yeah #i lived! yay...?#yea yay

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silenthillbunni · 8 months

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💉🏨🧸🩹

#ok but honestly i just want my health to go back to 'normal' now (normal meaning how it was one month ago)#im so so so so hungry all the time. i barely eat anything #and i cant eat the way i normally do (which isnt even stereotypically unhealthy even)#but i cant just eat whatever i want. and that includes veggies and healthy food as well #and my mom is telling me to eat. my doctor said i just need to eat and see what gives me bad reactions etc #but i have like a psychological lock in my headthat makes me so scared of eating #it just sucks so fucking much to have food and then my back burns and my stomach hurts af #i just wanna feel healthy and normal in my body :((((#i know it's life to get sick but i have normally bad anxiety and this kind of stuff makes it worse #im so exhausted thinking abt what i can eat. and all my options are so expensive as well and im poor #im hungry all day and i just wanna eat bro #and i dont wanna be in pain anymore im over it!!!!!!!!!#it's making me extremely angry and irritable too. like gimme food or i kill!!! im so mad constantly sksk

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freakoutgirl · 2 years

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I do think there’s a tendency to make people feel bad about their “irrational” or “problematic” emotions, and telling people “well that’s something you have to deal with and not blame other people for”

like... trying to reparent yourself and strengthen your emotional immaturity is WORK, and yes absolutely it’s work that needs to be done, but it’s not going to happen overnight. people will mess up, people will get too emotional to think about their coping mechanisms if they don’t have enough experience with accessing those tools while feeling bad. don’t let people cross your boundaries, but try to extend compassion when you can

#personal #idk thinking about a very personal experience #like telling morgan i was having mental health issues and her going radio silent for two days #i didn't really realize why i was so upset even though i knew i could cope with my stuff on my own #until i was like oh. this is how i felt as a kid when my parents ignored me when i was having intense emotions.#like being in 8th grade crying myself to sleep after three hours wishing that my mom would check on me #alright yeah.#and i KNOW this about myself. and i know that people not responding is normal.#and i know that she was dealing with things so i knew it wasn't personal.#but i still felt that anger and that panic and that intense loneliness #because that shit doesn't just go away!!!#honestly i think i did pretty well considering how emotional i was #like. giving space the last 24 hours. telling her firmly i was hurt when she did respond.#and like idk if this was just her not responding to dumb texts i wouldn't have been hurt #but the fact that it was about something emotional was REALLY what triggered my further emotional spiral #idk it's just a lot to work through!!!! and it's not easy

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zarafey · 1 year

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Austria coming in with another masterful execution of law!

Now that the covid mask mandate isn't valid anymore we revert back to a law that got approved in 2019 I think... Its a law that prohibits you from masking your face! (literally just made bc of Islamophobia)... So now it's illegal in Austria to wear a mask in public! But also at the same time required to wear a mask if you tested positive! And when your in like a hospital and retirement homes! So now if you wanna wear a mask you need a doctor's note so that you are allowed to in public! :D

#Public includes stuff like trains and busses. University. Most Workplaces.#Not like it's still also a good idea to wear a mask even if you just have a cold or sth so you don't infect ppl etc #It's literally so dumb... Like last year it was still 'its illegal to not wear a mask' now it's illegal to do that?? What???#The law was a dumb law from the start they should have just removed it or at least work on removing it #I really hope the votes next year get our politics more normal again bc it was just absolute chaos the last few years #One dude tried to sell Austria to the Russians or sth like that and then that other dude took over and #Then ppl said that dude is also corrupt so there was an investigation and stuff so someone else took over #And then I think they didn't find something so a few other parties called to get him out of office and then he just quit I think or was #Bullied out and then we had a vote again but the other parties all had shit candidates for chancellor #And I think in the meantime we changed chancellor again as well??? Like I literally have no idea who was chancellor since Kurz (2nd dude)#And then in the middle of covid our health minister also quit I think? 😂😂#Oh and also a satire party (the beer party!) was really popular as well and that dude (Marco pogo) ran for president #Like he didn't get it but still he got like 3rd place with 8% of all votes #It's just all a fkn mess #OH RIGHT and then there was also a thing with an old Nazi song book that was used in the youth group of one party or sth like that #But I honestly can't remember if that was pre or post the Ibiza incident (selling to Russia thing)#Also I haven't fact checked anything in these notes. Be aware that it's 3am and I've been awake for 22 hours at this point.#And that my memory is bad so I might be conflating some stuff or miss remembering

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lesbiancarat · 2 years

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very weird that I've seen multiple people in the last couple weeks saying it would be fun if samuel got added to seventeen now bc there's no way people actually think that 🤨

#it just seems so disrespectful to both svt and samuel like its been over 7 years #feels disrepectful to the solo career samuel has built like theyre implying its not interesting enough #and disrespectful to the bond svt have built over the years together #like its one thing to imagine what could have been of he debuted with them and another to say this #but i dont even like that bc samuel was TWELVE when svt debuted #and personally i think it was for the best his mom pulled him from the company no kid should debut that young #which is maybe why people change their 'what-if' to samuel just rejoining svt now #but like i said it just feels disrespectful #obv i know ppl online cant actually make that happen but just suggesting it feels :/#sorry to rant i normally dont like bringing up stuff thats only an issue with a few people but this was just such a weird take #i also saw someone say it was a 'bad career move' for him to have left plds back in the day??#umm his mom was trying to protect her son who was a Literal Child #honestly i hate when ppl get hung up on who trained with who in general and act like they have some eternal bond its not that deep #it also annoys me when ppl say '[idol] was supposed to debut in [group]' when they just trained together #its esp a misconception w svt bc of 17tv. ppl think the other trainees that didnt debut were part of the lineup #but plds said that the trainees on 17tv werent guaranteed to debut/it wasnt the official lineup #'4 members left before debut' no!!! trainees left before debut the only members are the ones that got rings-13 #got a bit off topic there but its one of my pet peeves 😔#may delete this later i try not to rant too much on here bc its not good for my mental health to do it too much lol #melia.txt

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crayolacolor · 2 years

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aaa

#vent cw #negative cw #( i'm sorry i try not to post vent stuff too often but i desperately need to get this off my chest )#i got hit with so much stress all at one time today #covid cases are going back up again and i'm gonna cry because i already feel like i lost 2 years of my life to this stupid virus #i just want things to go back to normal #i keep seeing those reminder: the pandemic isn't over yet posts and it feels like a punch in the gut to me #i know who they're for but honestly. do posts like that really help?#i think the people posts like that are directed towards would just see it and scoff #meanwhile people like me are hit with another reminder that everything is still horrible and nothing's getting better #and even if they DO get better it doesn't last #my mom kept us on 2020-level lockdowns throughout this whole thing and was JUST starting to let us do normal stuff again and now this.#i don't want to go back to that #i want to live #i don't want to lose another year of my life #be cautious of course but i can't just shut myself down completely for this long #my mental health can't take it #i also have had a massive relapse of an unrelated worry that i don't want to directly say because i feel like i'll speak it into existence #i don't. really believe that's a thing that can happen but it's an irrational fear with this worry specifically #and it's infuriating because it's not one that i can easily dismiss in a week or two #this one has lasted for months and is likely to keep nagging at me for the foreseeable future #i just want to not be stressed #that's literally it #i don't know what to do

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neverendingford · 7 months

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#I think I have all the paperwork stuff sorted for the name change process. I just have to get up the motivation to go down to the courthouse #honestly I've been more motivated to get things done than normal because I've got a goal. a direction. and I really want self actualization #tag talk #like. now that I feel like I've got a chance and the opportunity to change how things are to finally match myself.#things feel very much on track now. it'll be a pain and I've gotta go to like three separate government offices so that's gonna suck #but I care. I want this. and I'm going to make it happen.#honestly I don't think I'm ever gonna change my sex marker. I like being a guy. just.. I need to be he/him in a transgender way #anyway. things are going. health insurance is in the works. and I'm gonna throw a fit until they pay for my hrt #I keep wanting to make the joke that if they don't accept me to gender school I'll just threaten to attempt again but perhaps I shouldn't #that's not really a joke I can make in front of any health professionals. but like. that's the reality for me honestly.#I need this to happen for me to live. that's my strong motivation. the court clerk paperwork filling will suck but I have to do this to live #but I've been living! I've been exploring. and I've been anticipating finally becoming myself #externally I'm not even looking that different. which.. I've been getting mistaken for a girl for years now. so maybe I'm arrived externally #but there's still a lot of internal work to be done before I'm me fully.#the name is really the last publicly visible thing. I've got my appearance down when I'm wearing a shirt.#the rest will be eventual hrt and surgery shit. hrt for sure cause I wanna still look like me even when I'm not wearing a shirt or bra #anyway. wheels of progress. I'm slowly crossing things off my trans agenda

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leovenuslatina · 23 days

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wet dreamzzz ๋࣭ ⭑⚝

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

THIS IS A 18+ READING. MDNI !!!

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

his late night thoughts about you *wink wink*

(basically the thoughts they please themselves too🥵✊🏾💦)

꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱

₊˚⊹ ᰔ౨ৎ₊this is just a reminder that tarot isn’t permanent or set in stone YOU decide how your life goes no one or nothing else now take a deep breath and choose the pile that calls to you ₊˚⊹ ᰔ౨ৎ₊˚⊹

TW: THIS SHIT GETS WILD

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

piles one - the moon, seven of swords, nine is pentacles

(*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ

okay so i’m seeing he’s staying up ALL night just thinking about you. you have him seriously in love i see him like making up scenarios in his head and just replaying them over and over and any sweet or romantic moments you two have he can’t stop thinking and smiling about it. i’m also seeing him replaying all the time you two have had sex he’s in love with how you look underneath him 😍. he thinks about bending you over somewhere secret like in a closet at a party or in an empty parking lot. he gets off to the thought of him having you all to himself he likes the idea that you have to rush to make each other cum before the two of you get caught. he thinks about taking you away from prying eyes and doing whatever he wants to you. he really likes bending you over okayyy he’s like so in loveeee with that ass he may even like pulling your hair while he thrusts into you from behind whispering sweet nothings into your ear. he may also think about role playing with you meeting in a bar or something and pretending like you’re strangers and having a quickie in the bathroom.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

pile two - ace of swords, wheel of fortune, eight of cups

₍^⸝⸝> ·̫ <⸝⸝ ^₎

their late night thoughts about your pile two are pretty dark and twisted 🤭 i don’t know if he’ll tell you about them because im seeing these are like deep deep secret thoughts they have they’re super depraved and thirsty for you like putting you in handcuffs and freaking you all night til you collapse. He thinks about tying you up taking full control of you he might have a fetish for like ropes and stuff he’s a huge freak god damn lmao. they think about you giving them a hand job i’m seeing he’s huge into body worship like you worshiping his dick or like they just think about you on their dick they have a fast paced mind when it comes to you one perverted thought after another. in his mind he can go as wild as possible and not worry about any sort of judgment not that he thinks you’ll judge him he just knows his freaky lil mind would make others shudder. he thinks about being real rough with you leaving hickeys and bites all over your body throwing you like his own personal sex doll. your person has a very overactive imagination.

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pile three - queen of swords, death, the hanged man

(,,>ヮ<,,)!

their late night thoughts are you just you everything about you turns them on. they think about watching you and what you look like when you’re in bliss. watching you playing with yourself watching you moan and sigh but not just that. just watching you do normal daily activities like reading or eating they are your BIGGEST simps omggg. literally just imagining your gorgeous face makes them so hard or wet it just gets them all hot and bothered. your person imagines you in a threesome if that’s not something you’re into that’s okay because these are just late demon hour thoughts lol. they probably have a huge kink about seeing you getting it on with another person. their kink is your delight so the thoughts that filled their mind are not entirely dirty i wouldnt be surprised if he has a folders of your smiling selfies just to beat off too. you honestly are their only thought not just late at when he’s alone.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

for paid private readings dm me 💘

3 questions - $20

6 questions - $30

long channeled message - $90

plzzz no questions about health or death ☠️

#black tarot readers #pick a card tarot #tarot #daily tarot #pick a pile #tarot cards #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #tarot daily #future spouse #18+ mdni #mdni #18+ content #18+ only

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blakelywintersfield · 2 years

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‎

#cw for eating disorder stuff i guess?#oh the absolute irony that consistently consumes my entire being and existence #i used to count calories to limit my intake so i'd start to lose weight #now i'm counting calories to make sure i'm eating *enough*‚ because my weight has dropped significantly in a matter of a month #and while i want that weight loss to continue‚ if i don't eat *enough* calories‚ it exacerbates my rheumatoid arthritis #on top of that‚ aside from a goiter‚ i display all the major symptoms of hyperthyroidism.#and with me having RA‚ i'm at an increased risk of developing *other* immune disorders. so it's not out of the question.#but if i *do* have hyperthyroidism‚ the medication to address it will stop the weight loss. which i don't want. but i'll need to take it.#because long term effects of untreated hyperthyroidism can cause osteoporosis‚ heart problems‚ and vision problems #all of which i have family history of‚ along with being born with two heart conditions. i'd need to address it.#but the medication to treat it also has a common result of weight gain. and i don't want that. i don't want to gain any more weight.#i'm finally losing weight. i'm finally‚ FINALLY under 200lbs. i haven't been under 200lbs for YEARS. i'm almost in the 170 range.#i don't want to stop losing weight. and i especially don't want to gain any weight.#i'm honestly hoping the test results come back negative. maybe it's just a combination of my RA and working more or something idk #i would avoid getting tested altogether but between the long term health impacts of untreated hyperthyroidism and the hair loss #i have to. like i have to rule it out as a cause for the hair loss‚ along with my DHT levels. i just. ugh.#my urges to kill myself are finally under control‚ and now 5 other health issues have taken it's place.#i'm so tired man. i just want to exist at ease. i just want to function normally. i'm so tired of having to fight every day.

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tia-222 · 7 months

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HIII, so I asked my best friend who is a void master, shifted on her first try, lucid dreamt, and many more about some questions regarding on how to enter and stuff, so here, I hope it helps everyone 💗

1. (What was your experience when you first time entered? And when did you enter?)

"I entered at the age of 11, at that time my mental health was falling drastically, I had many problems going on, and my life was clearly not good, one night, I was crying in bed when I soothed myself and pretended to be asleep, I did this by closing my eyes and acting as though I was sleeping, I didn't move for a while, until I didn't hear anything and couldn't feel anything, after that, I tried this method every night just to feel peace in it"

2. (Did you manifest anything?)

"I do enter it a lot, yet I don't want to manifest anything, the sole purpose of me wanting to enter the void every night, was to feel the amazing calming peace"

3. (Do you enter it now? And how?)

"I almost enter it instantly every night now, after practicing for so long, all I need to do is to lay still, tell myself I'll enter the void any minute, and in seconds I find myself there"

4. (What's your method of entering?)

"it's easy, just tire yourself or at least let your eyes away from strain so that you can sleep better, then lay in bed for a while, just close your eyes, pretend to be asleep to trick your brain, and you'll enter easily, although for many people it's different, but this seems the most easy"

5. (Any other tips that are important while entering the void?)

"Do not think about how much time has gone, act as if an hour is a second to you, pretending to be asleep is basically making your body sleep but you're awake, let go of any thoughts, be calm, be normal about it, in fact, act as if it's a daily routine you always do at night, like as though you are drinking milk before bed"

6. (What do you think helped you to master the void)

"just don't gaf, that's all, be normal, don't overthink of when are you going to enter, you'll reach it easily, it's within you, all you need to think about the void is as if it's a fun game or something, don't put it on a pedestal"

7. (But what if they feel discouraged and sad about lack of entering the void)

"take a break, enjoy your own life to the fullest, the void can't leave you, you can always go back to it whenever you want, you can try anytime you want, and it's better to have a mindset as though you already have the results"

8. (How did you lucid dreamt everytime you wanted?)

"it's easy, throughout the day I just do some random reality checks, then before sleep I just talk to myself kinda, all I say is something like 'i'll do reality checks when I get in a dream' and just fall asleep, when I get in a dream I immediately start reality checking because I already told my brain to do that before sleeping"

9. (What made you reprogram your mind to let you remember to do reality checks in a dream so easily?)

"again, the sole reason is to not give a fuck, just don't care, you have it already, it's yours, all you need to do is to say it as though it's a statement you are making to your friend, that's it, before sleep all you can do is say the thing you want, hell you can even say it only once if you like"

10. (What xyz method should we use for void/lucid dream/shifting?)

"it goes up to you, but it all comes to one single thing, belief, and that's it, you can do the method as a fun way to brighten the mood, but other than that, all you need is pure belief and to not give a fuck"

11. (About shifting, how did you shift on your first try?)

"Honestly I found it out from you as you know, at first I didn't really think much of it, but since you also talked about lucid dreaming so I thought I tried, I did some reality checks on that day, but I didn't give it much a thought, I did the usual method I said earlier, then I got aware in a dream, made a portal and entered my hero academia"

12. (How do you know if it wasn't a dream when you shifted?)

"everything I touched was real, I pinched myself and it hurted, I did many reality checks and everything was confirmed to be real, I didn't even have a script, I just shifted then stayed for an hour got bored and was like 'alright that's enough yeet me back to my home', then I woke up in my bed"

13. (Any last advice to anyone?)

"all you need is the IDGAF mindset, why would you give a fuck when it's already yours? Let's say you have hair, would you worry about having hair??? No, that's exactly like this, the thing is, you don't even need to pretend you are going to enter the void, because it's already in you"

So that's it! She basically made it in a story way while we were driving to school in our bus, I made it in a question and answer way, I also added in some of my advices and the way I took her view, I really really got a huge help from it, now you better go and get in the void or manifest or shift or lucid dream or whatever you want to do, you can do it 💗

Hii love <3, omg tysm for sharing this advice with everyone and ik this will help a lot of people who is trying to enter the void state, lucid dream or shift into their Dr.

Firstly, I love how your friend described entering the void state for this first time. We can convince our bodies of anything and that's a fact! Many of us put a lot of pressure while entering the void state, all you need is to be relaxed. You can convince your brain of that too. The method your friend is absolutely perfect for entering the void state ♡.

Everyone needs the " IDGAF " mindset rn and stop putting pressure on themselves.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE ADVICES, THANK YOU SO MUCH ANGEL. LOTS OF LOVE TO YOU AND YOUR FRIEND ♡

#void state #void state advice #void state tips #manifestion #void state success story #shifting #shifting advice #lucid dreaming tips and methods #law of assumption #anon ask #ask answered

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queenofcoquette · 9 months

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how i started to feel pretty

hey loves! i’ve struggled with feeling insecure over my looks, but recently i’ve made changes that have helped me be less insecure. little improvements with my lifestyle and mindset have already made a big difference. first i’m going to talk about my insecurities, then what i did and then general tips.

my insecurities:

hyperpigmentation. i have bad undereye bags due to genetics that landed my family to call all of our eyes “raccoon eyes.” then redness above my eyelids, then darkness above my upper lip no matter how much i shaved.

facial asymmetry. we all have it, but i felt so bad anytime i took a selfie and i couldn’t bear to take any photos of myself.

body dysmorphia. this one is weird. i don’t view my body the way others do, and honestly the way i view it changes all the time.

changes i’ve made:

first i started doing things that didn’t help. they were temporary solutions that did nothing. i used concealer and powder for the hyperpigmentation- but it looked cakey and a little ashy-kinda cuz i wasn’t using a color corrector. for my body i did these “abs in 2 weeks!” challenges during covid, and was restrictive, which is the worst thing you can do for yourself.

for my skin:

i started using the glycolic acid serum by the ordinary. this stuff is life changing! i’ve been going makeup free on my skin lately and my skin tone has gotten so much more even. plus it’s affordable and it’s a giant bottle.

for my face:

i started doing face massages for muscle tension

i also realized that my facial asymmetry is 1) normal (we all have it to a certain extent and 2) it’s probably not as bad as i think it is.

for my body:

i’ve started to focus more on health than appearances, because that my view of my body is distorted. i don’t see it like other people do, so i need to prioritize my health. i started eating MORE- more foods that are healthy, more fruits and vegtables. instead of restricing i allowed myself to have more.

i developed a pilates plan that focused on building strength, and incorporated a little bit of weights. now that i play sports i’ve put an emphasis on strength which has actually helped me get more toned.

journaling. i began to write down about my feelings- the way i view other people vs. the way i view myself. it made me realize how social media gave me an unrealistic image, and how i wasn’t viewing myself the way i really am.

advice:

what are you insecure about? the first step is just writing down your biggest insecurities- aka why don’t you feel beautiful? what made you feel this way? no one is born feeling ugly- we’re all taught to feel this way, whether it’s comments that have been made to us or others.

find people with similar stories. this helped me in the past, watching videos about people who had the same insecurities as me, it opened my eyes to how harshly i treat myself.

get to the root of it. for my skin i realized that covering up my hyperpigmentation with makeup wouldn’t solve the problem, so i put an emphasis on incorporating things into my skincare routine that could solve the problem, without makeup!

think in the long-term. think about what’s healthy for you, and the most natural way of doing so. for example, when it came to my body i had to think about what’s healthy for me overall, not a quick fix. quick fixes aren’t attainable!

prioritize mental and physical health. i think we should all embrace our natural beauty by focusing on our skincare and the health of our hair. additionally, mental health is equally important, especially when it comes to body image.

positive thinking. a lot of times we tend to vocalize our negative thoughts, ive heard ppl make horrible comments about their bodies and things like that. first of all, stop saying those things out loud- you’re only reaffirming them in your head, and furthering the bad feeling. when you get horrible thoughts about yourself, try to stop them and replace them with good ones. even if you don’t believe it at first, you soon will.

it sometimes takes a while for beautiful people to realize how gorgeous they are. i had friends who i thought were some of the prettiest girls in the world, but they didn’t even realize it. i bet there’s so many people in your life who look at you and see the beauty in you that you don’t see in yourself. just stay healthy and keep positive thoughts, and i hope in time you’ll see your inner and outer beauty.

#that girl #that girl 2023 #self improvement #pink pilates princess #queenofcoquette

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comfortless · 2 months

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sylly (like silly yk yk) what are your könig hcs? 🌹

SYLLY?! i…. Ok…. fair warning this is a little long… all that i do is think about this guy someone get him out of my head.

tread carefully reading this! there is a lot of sensitive content here: mental health stuff, abuse, mentions of sex and pornographic material, suicidal ideation, etc etc.

Generic, silly headcanons:

He prefers coffee (black) over tea, but he does have a bit of a sweet tooth (will never resist caramel if it’s presented to him). Honestly, he’s pretty self-reliant when it comes to food, too. On lazy days, he makes enough to where a takeout bill is hardly a concern, but for the most part he cooks! Not a chef by any means, but nothing he ever makes is bad!

Definitely wants a big, loving family, the polar opposite of what he had growing up as an only child in a far less than perfect household. Not a dealbreaker, but he does yearn for all of the love that he’s missed out on and then some.

Not big on video games, but… I do think he is absolutely spending every lonely leave playing Elder Scrolls. Would be so easy to convince to go larping or to a renfaire. I see everyone’s car/bike guy headcanons and I raise you… obsessed with fantasy König. He loves history and myth!! Why not combine the two and see him in chainmail.

The scent & kink posts. But to add… he’s an affectionate biter. (,: Knows the correct places to do so that won’t cause damage or hurt too terribly much. Likes to sniff you just as well! The embodiment of the “merge souls with me” post; in love, he just wants to feel you any way that he can and have some part of you lingering on him, even if it’s just a stray hair or your scent clinging to his shirt or pillowcase.

Cheating is never on this guy’s mind when he’s in a relationship. If he’s found a lady not running for the hills the second she catches sight of him, that’s his one and only. Sure, he may find himself attracted to someone else at some point or other during the duration of a relationship, but he’s devoted and disciplined! There’s never the fear of anyone coming in between he and his lover. He’ll spoil you with gifts, clingy to a point it’s overbearing, always giving you the utmost care… but is not opposed to bullying you into being a submissive, trembling mess either. He’s balanced!

Adores animals. Like any of them. There’s a special place in his heart for cats, but having a constant companion that he can take on hikes like a large dog would be ideal. Would definitely consider owning a tarantula or a snake, too. ^^ He isn’t scared of anything, let alone a creature that most are misinformed about… (he projects a little..). He would treat them just as well as anyone would treat a more “normal” pet. Understanding if you wouldn’t want to hold a giant arachnid (they’re delicate and you squirming over it would make him a bit protective over the poor thing. ): ), but it would mean a lot to him if you were more accepting.

König would not be a pretty sight (to most people) the majority of the time… I doubt that he takes care of himself past training his body and his allotted one-two minute military showers. His character description describes what is rumored to be under his mask as scary. Let him have his buzzcut, and scars, and teeth or old wounds a little too fucked up to fix! Unconventionally attractive is still attractive! (i think his ‘face reveal’ is actually so cute…)

Lots of sporadic little thoughts, but… Ambidextrous, can not ride a bike, whistles/hums to fill lapses of silence, flexes his fingers/cracks his knuckles when he’s nervous, definitely snores (loudly), brushes his teeth like 3-4 times a day (when he can) because he eats so much, not a picky eater at all, thinks it’s cute if you’re affectionately a little grossed out by him from time to time, absolutely the kind of person that thinks fuel and fire smell good, fluent in English and German but certainly knows many words and phrases from other languages.

Kind of clumsy. Overthinks the way his body looks to the point where sometimes his movements are a little stiff. Overestimates how tall a door frame may be if he’s distracted in the presence of others, hits his head and plays it off like he didn’t even notice. He’s (obviously) highly confident on the field, but in regular circumstances it’s totally reversed.

Though. Yeah. Sometimes this does translate onto the field. Can’t stay in one place for too long, once knocked an enemy soldier out by barreling into him. He’s a quick shot, skillful with any weapon that falls into his hands, but his focus can get a little skewed.

He collects some things. Nothing exactly pricy, but antique knives, coins, and a pocket watch or two. And he isn’t the most apt at putting things together in an appealing way… The first time you’re allowed into his house it looks like he’s robbed some vintage hunting shop/is planning something nefarious with the way he’s just got a few daggers strewn about his kitchen table. Just push them to the side, it’s fine! (His favorite is certainly one with a handle carved from a stag’s antler.)

Definitely takes a physical approach to bad feelings. @melancholic-thing mentioned to me that he bites himself when he’s feeling dejected or frustrated and yeah. (All of Ghost’s hcs for him are factually correct.) Not going to punch a hole through the wall but may aggressively slam a door or raise his voice before he can catch himself.

I have many thoughts about König’s childhood/early adulthood. Like, too many. But to summarize…

I think that everyone experiences bullying to an extent but what would make it so bad that it managed to make its way into the scraps that we do have of him? What made him so fundamentally unlikable to his peers? /: With my König I’ve settled on it being a blend of neurodivergency and a nightmare home life and alienation from his peers.

Height is predominantly viewed as a good trait. I don’t think it was necessarily his appearance at all that got him picked on so heavily (albeit… I do think that he would have had some scars, crooked teeth, regular facial bruising or cuts from scraps with other children/his father). Perhaps not the most conventionally attractive guy around, but normally viewed as a solid 5/10, just average. The kind of person who you wouldn’t remember from just a face alone.

His personality was always memorable though.

Whilst the other children/teenagers were interested in the regular trends, sports, whatever was shown on the television or heard on the radio at the time, I think he probably would have had a great interest in escapism!!

Comics, books, researching history and geography, etc, anything that could keep him from thinking of where he was/what other people viewed him as. He had a lot of strange things to say: odd facts (like the kind of person to tell you the longest word in the dictionary because he thinks it’s cool, “um actually—“ to correct something, monologuing about some bug you’ve just squashed and how it was not just a pest but very useful in nature, borderline concerning reactions to being shunned (feigned threats of violence that he would laugh off, things he’s probably heard from media and his own parents), over explaining himself for the simplest of misunderstandings, and… quoting his Oma’s very old-fashioned turns of phrase (think of little Kö regularly saying “Du gehst mir tierisch auf den Keks.” when he’s annoyed whereas the others say things far less dated like “Du gehst mir auf den Sack.”)

With him being difficult to relate to and having the most uncanny things slip out of his mouth, others probably did view him as a bit of a freak. He didn’t particularly stand up for himself often either apart from a few fights (and would never hit a girl). He would stay quiet, pretend to focus on his studies or whatever else was before him while the other children jeered and taunted. Regularly a target for fake confessions and offers to hang out outside of school, too.

König did have crushes, did have people he thought were cool and wanted to befriend, but after the third time of showing up someplace that he had to walk to on his own to find that no one had actually wanted to spend their time with him, he gave up.

I don’t think he had a good relationship with his parents or much of anyone. Seriously, leaving for the military at seventeen sets off a ton of alarm bells! He left the week of his Oma’s passing, because what else was there for him — no girlfriend, no prospects, hardly a relationship with his mother or father.

His father was your standard shit parent— womanizing, loud, physically abusive towards König. “Bonding” activities with him always had a heavy lean towards violence: hunting and arguing that usually resulted in fist fighting his own son seemed to be his favorites. A small man with an equally small ego— he probably would have boasted about his affairs to König, exposed him to pornography as a way of making sure his son wasn’t anything other than straight (which: never stopped his curiosity). He would never hold back from telling König that he would never in a million years find a girl willing to put up with his supposed stupidity and shortcomings. Generally just viewed his own son as utterly worthless if not for use as a punching bag.

In turn, König always loathed him, would dread hearing the bastard just walking around the house because he knew he would always find something to bicker with his wife or son over. Nothing that they ever did would be deemed correct, and his social anxiety initially developed from his dealings with him.

His mother was withdrawn, emotionally neglectful. König was just… there to her; another mouth to feed, another person begging for the attention she would have rather spared on herself.

She wasn’t a bad mother and she did try, but the product of dealing with his father’s nonsense + letting her own mental illness go unchecked (as in, his father controlled the family financially and why would he let her blow through their funds to see a therapist and “lose her lucidity with pills and ridiculous talks”). There were some days when she would be feeling more like herself and take König along with her for walks through the park where she would try to ask him about his life, about school, and… he would end up spilling his guts to her only for her to return to silence. Still, those were his favorite days. His fondest memory was picking a flower for her on one of those walks, one that she kept pressed and later framed.

There were never family dinners, no movie nights, no day trips or vacations. The most blissful of days were spent in the comfort of his room where he could keep the door locked and muffle the sounds of his parents arguing with loud music.

So, König did not have much of a safe space within his own home, but he had his Oma and her cluttered little house. She had books and plenty of food, even a cat, too. Though she was like his mother, stern and withdrawn, she would at least sit with him and tell him stories of her own life. She would at least tell him “Ich lieb dich, Käferchen!” in her quiet voice, stroke his head where he would sit with his nose buried in a book beside her. She would show him her dusty antiques, her old photographs, and in turn taught him to be a proper man by making him tend to what needed to be done around her house. And the garden. He loved his Oma’s garden, full of orchids, petunias, and tomatoes she would mash up to make him goulash or tomatensalat!

With Austria’s leading religion being Catholicism, I do think his Oma would have dragged him with her to service plenty, too. Not that he ever particularly enjoyed it… just zoned out with a plastic soldier in his pocket to fidget with or some trading card he spent the money he earned doing chores for her on. He’s never considered himself religious, thought himself to be bound for Hell no matter what, even if most of the time he felt that he was already there.

You take a puppy that’s been beaten down his entire life, but still remains eager and throw him in a barrack with people more horrible than any bully he’s ever had, though…? He starts taking his father’s advice more and more then. He wouldn’t harm anyone that he didn’t view as deserving of it, but it didn’t need to go that far that often, anyway. König is aware of the space he takes up by then, aware that all of his training has made him more broad and sturdy, and those playground fights are nothing compared to what he’s capable of now.

He gets his callsign from a quip about him owning nothing. His barrack is empty, devoid of pictures or any sentimental belongings. He rarely checks his phone, there might be the occasional missed call from a spam number, what is there to even see? He has no social media presence, every leave is spent in a shitty apartment only a days travel from his hometown, and he is utterly silent when the other soldiers invite him out for drinks. So yes, he’s a king. The king of absolutely nothing.

One of these rowdy boys does eventually coax him into talking to a woman. He loses his virginity in a disgusting bar bathroom, where he asks her after the two minutes he’s spent inside of her if it means anything to her at all. She laughs, washes herself in the sink and calms him down, but doesn’t give him her number or anything more than her first name.

He’s starved for love, utterly miserable without it, but doesn’t have much of a desire to seek it out, either. He’s seen how people are, how they treat him. But time and time again he will grapple onto any thread that may lead him to a pinhole of hope when it’s offered to him. For the most part, he has his hand and a perpetually almost-empty bottle of lotion.

And it’s not much of a surprise that König has contemplated suicide more times than he can count. It has never culminated in any way, only fearing that he would disappoint his men, even further disappoint his parents, maybe even a small part of him still believes in a Hell; that maybe with enough vigilantism on his part he’ll earn his way to a pleasant afterlife, one he teeters on the separation of believing in and not.

He doesn’t think about his mental health, always haunted by his father’s words, thinking that assuredly it would make him weak if he were to seek help for something like his own thoughts. So he overexerts himself during workouts, bottles everything other than rage and love inside: no one is going to see him cry, not ever again after being laughed at for him hundreds of times during school where he sat being called an “ugly giant” a “daydreaming freak” and an “idiot” near daily where silent tears did escape, only spurring further laughter.

Though I do not write him with these things in mind for every au, there are always subtle hints scattered about. ^^ I could probably prattle on forever about him, but I will leave you with this for now…

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