#honestly this is all my fault

[uncanny-tranny]

Amatonormativity has destroyed so many people's understanding and acceptance of themselves, and it's heartbreaking.

Yes, it is normal to be in your 20s, 30s, or older and not have lost your virginity, had a first kiss, or a partner. It is normal to say that you aren't ready for those things, too! It is normal if your life doesn't follow the "college graduate -> engagement -> buying a home -> 2.5 kids and a dog" trajectory that so many people have idealized.

So many people associate maturity with losing your virginity, or having a first kiss, or a serious relationship, and I think that's a dangerous association. Maturity isn't gained through those things, and you don't have to have those experiences to be considered "mature" or "grown." It is not a bad thing to go at your pace. Nobody else can live your life but you. If you end up having those experiences, that's great! But it should be done because you want to experience them, not because you feel "broken" and "immature" without them.

#amatonormativity #ask to tag (genuine) #i honestly *wish* conversations like this were things i was exposed to when i was younger... #...maybe then i'd've felt less of a need to surpress my aromanticism and asexuality... #...the feeling of brokenness still trails behind me sometimes because so many of us are taught that this all WILL happen... #...we WILL fall in love. we WILL have a nuclear family. we WILL be satisfied with this... #...and that this is the IDEAL for cishet patriarchal structures... #...and that /any/ deviation to the SLIGHTEST degree is that fault of the *individual*. who WOULDN'T want this life? #there's this idea like i said that maturity is gained as you almost... adhere to expectations... #...and that's genuinely dangerous to associate maturity with that and i hope you can fill in those gaps because it can get dark fast

[k4pp4-8]

6 fanarts challenge but I can't just pick six so I did 30 <333

#ITS NOT MY FAULT THE DESIGNS ARE SO FUN TO DRAW!!!!!! #my hands may hurt BUT ITS ALL WORTH IT #ok ko my beloved #ppl on twitter are going crazy and honestly same #we cant help it this show's too cool and awesome.... #ok k.o.! let's be heroes #ok ko let's be heroes #kappart #my art #im gonna spend half an hour typing all the names ToT #ok ko enid #ok ko rad #ok ko tko #ok ko dendy #ok ko carol #ok ko mr gar #carol kincaid #eugene garcia #radicles x #enid mettle #tko #ok ko fink #professor venomous #shadowy venomous #ok ko laserblast #doctor greyman #ok ko shannon #ok ko raymond #ok ko jethro #ok ko drupe

[lover-of-mine]

#911 #911edit #buddie #buddieedit #911 fox #911 abc #911 on fox #evanbuckleyedit #eddiediazedit #my edit #otp: you don't need to pretend with me #1k #honestly ive been thinking about this since the lightning #because yes eddie had no idea the tsunami was gonna happen and the same way it wasnt Bucks fault it wasnt eddie #but this is the guy that asked for a sign about what to do about his wife and she died #then he tried to force his best friend to do something he wasnt ready for and he almost died too #and yes therapy eddie is better with his own feelings but i wonder if it crossed his mind #because maddie probably tried to get him into the keep buck distracted rotation #and he said no probably because he knew buck could need a place to escape to #but still #it could've crossed his mind the consequences of the last time he didnt give buck time #the tsunami the lawsuit all that yk #i dont know i just want to put the thought somewhere #it makes sense that eddie would wait him out after the previous moments with buck and death #anyway #yeah #evan buckley #eddie diaz

[sysig]

Rainbows (Patreon)

#Doodles #UT #Handplates #Papyrus #Sans #This rainbow is all out of order - and so many negative glows ah :0 #I didn't mean for them to trend negative! They were just easier to imagine the expressions - maybe I'll take a second pass on the positives #Or in green's case the negative :') #Again in order of when I drew them so kinda all over the place haha #I wanted to go in order! And then I got distracted pft - thus started with red ow :( #Honestly I was thinking of it just being a surprise-pain more than anything lol - like a splinter haha that wouldn't even pierce him! #D'you think that eyeglows could also act like automatic word-responses? Like how we say ''Ow'' when we're surprised but not hurt sometimes #Silly haha #The second is a lot less silly-intended tho more actual pain #It's also sad to think that Sans' red would pretty much have to be sympathy/emotional pain :( #The kind of survivors guilt of not being able to shoulder more but he's so fragile! It's not his fault! #I am quite happy with both of their expressions there tho especially their mouth shapes - and how the colours interact with their eyes #Lineless colours are some of my favourites :) You can tell it's my pencils and not my pen there 'cause it's feathery hehe #For example Edgar's scars are usually with my pen and they have an almost hard-line quality while my pencils are soft :) S'pretty #Switched colours! I unfortunately misremembered what their meanings were oops lol #Well I got them kinda half-right - I like blue as skeptical quite a lot :D I think it suits them both! #Sans as wary and logical and wanting to keep distance to assure his safety and what he can devote energy to - I like it! #And Papyrus using his brother's colour to be grown up in the way that Sans is hehe <3 It's sweet #I misremembered orange lol I assigned blue's alt meaning of ''curiousity'' - orange is meant to be bravery! Oops lol #I think I was thinking of Papyrus' childlike excitement and wanting to know and be involved! Haha #Greeeeens <3 Happy boys happy with each other! I love when they're happy ♥ Interlocked holding hands hehe #Pinks! Along a similar line! I like pink as platonic affection :D And as embarrassment lol but hgg the sweetness! The care and love! #Is my bias showing lol - especially with the bros sleeping on each other haha ♪ They're both happy to know the other is safe! #Couple'a stresses - I like Sans' more I'm not even gonna sugarcoat lol his expression turned out so good haha #And the inverse for the purples! I do like Sans' face but his body :P Papyrus tho - he turned out sad and perfect :')

[willowser]

just to make sure we are all on the same page in this corner of the internet, i want to be explicitly clear about my stance/feelings on some things:

if i come across "content"/fic in this niche that i absolutely do not like, do not vibe with, am not interested in, that icks me out completely and totally—i scroll past it as quickly as i can and i move on with my day.

in the case that it's "content"/fic that really bothers or triggers me in any way, i make sure that i have blacklisted/blocked certain tags and keywords so that in the future i may not come across those things again.

i also understand that there is a variety of tags used throughout the internet and that websites are not perfect/things slip through the cracks. people are also human, and mistakes are also made.

in the event i am exposed to something that i do not want to see, point blank, i would never and will never believe it is my right to harass and terrorize the person writing said thing/s, and if i witness this kind of behavior being celebrated among the people around me, whoever you are, i will be removing you from my space.

to be perfectly and abundantly clear: i will always be a supporter of dark content, and its right to be written. even if i don't understand it, even if it "disgusts" me, even if i never want to read it.

please understand that i do not say this with hostility, nor do i mean it as a threat or to be confrontational. you should protect the space that you are in; this is me doing that, this is me making sure that you do that, even if it's against me.

#this is my honest and true opinion regarding this topic: if you need to block me for it then i made this post for you #i want you to be aware of my feelings so that—if they don't align with yours—we can protect OURSELVES #AGAIN i do not mean this with any hostility or anger #but i am continuously surprised by the behavior that a large amount of us exhibits time and time again #really and truly and sincerely: don't like ? don't read. block and move on. #quit attacking people. educate yourself. grow up. #HONESTLY with all the love in the world i want that. #i understand that sometimes people don't tag the things they should; that IS their fault and they SHOULD do better #but that does not give you the pass/excuse to be hateful to them. it just doesn't. #if you can't be a decent adult and have a conversation with someone then you need to block them and move on

[khaotunq]

idk i just think he's neat ⇢ First Kanaphan as Ryu (Wake Up Ladies, 2018)

#first kanaphan #wake up ladies #wake up ladies the series #asianlgbtqdramas #i'm counting this as an lgbtq+ drama #there's drama and there's lgbtq+ #ryu's role is The Drama #not because he's dramatic but because He's Dramatic #because he's just a tiny bundle of enthusiasm and joy #my gifs #my edits #mine: ryu #mine: wake up ladies #mine: first kanaphan #endless gifs #this is chiara's fault #this is for her #thank u chiara #these are all suitable to use as reaction gifs honestly #ik first WAS a teenager during this but he's Such A Teenager in this whole series #he's the main role and supporting cast of his own little world #he defies categorisation and i love him for it #this show was gorgeous i very much enjoyed it #wherein first kanaphan plays... first kanaphan #he's a jock but he SPARKLES #he is wearing LIGHT UP SHOES #he DANCES UNAPOLOGETICALLY #he RAPS BADLY #i ADORE HIM SO MUCH

[luck-of-the-drawings]

DISTRACTIONS sometimes its the drive to help and save our friends that pushes us to learn and to succeed. unfortunately its normally ''unethical'' to replicate that in a classroom setting. I ONLY JUST FINISHED THE LAST PAGE HERE, THE FIRST TWO WERE LITERALLY FROM LAST YEAR, N A FEW MONTHS APART. LOOOOK AT MY EVOLUTION. im very proud of this and bled REALLY HARD FOR THE LAST PAGE. PLEASE ABSORB THIS.

#gillion tidestrider #jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #the last page honestly just took super long bc i dropped it for a long while. only recently wiped the dust off o it. #IM RLY PROUD OF ALOT O THINGS ABT THAT LAST PAGE #LIKE THE PERSPECTIVE N THE WIDE SHOTS OR WHATEVER #IT WASNT EASY BUT I MADE IT LOOK GOOD!! IM SO HAPPY WITH IT #I ALSO just really love drawing gillion as soooo small #just a little guy with the weight of the world bolted to his tiny tiny shoulders #n yknow what while im here ill talk abt the first two comics aswell. i like taking inspo from JTHM for this kinda stuff #more specifically SQUEE n the way his dad was just sooo honest and cruel to him. 'yeah its your fault my life sucks' n all that. i imagine #that gillion prolly dealt with alot o that too. i know weve already seen the elders #but i did initially imagine them to be very much like the Tallests from invader zim. they just hate this little guy. hes so small n lame #hes prolly had teachers like that im sure. i like thinkin about gills experience in school!! #i fell in love with him the moment he said that he wasnt good at being a student like girl ME TOOOO WAAAAAA #HE SUCKS In school and everyone is just sooo tired of him but they gotta put up with him bc hes the Chosen One #but GOD they wish they had someone more competent i bet. it was prolly a relief when they banished him #could u imagine being that? someone so insufferable that people sigh in relief when youre gone. poor poor gillion #ANYWAY THATS ALL MY THOUGHTS #TALK ABT UR THOUGHTS IN THE TAGS TOO DIPSHIIITT CMAAAHHNN

[samanthamulder]

THE X-FILES 30th ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION

DAY 6: favourite monsters of the week

credit: concept insp. - layout insp. - paper - paper clip

#I also had a link for the polaroid but when I checked it again the other day it was broken so idk....not my fault honestly 🤷‍♀️ #and to explain how my math worked here: violence 100 is a bad thing. as is god complex 100 and annoyance 100. they count for 0 #and then I simply calculated the average :) #xf30th #txf #tv #the x files #txfedit #tvedit #horroredit #scifiedit #.gif #thexfilesnet #mutuals I am inviting you all to my place to play x-files motw top trumps :)) #*saul queued

[makorragal-312]

Itsuomi: Talk to me and I'll do anything you want.

Oushi: Break up with Yuki.

Itsuomi:

#yubisaki to renren #yubisaki to renren spoilers #a sign of affection #a sign of affection spoilers #a sign of affection episode 10 #itsuomi nagi #ashioki oushi #yuki itose #yuki x itsuomi #my god #just the audacity of this guy #sorry but it's not itsuomi's fault that Yuki's not into you #and honestly why would she be? #all you do is perceive her to be weak because of her deafness and then you go out of your way to bully and harass her #not to mention the times you kept trying to convince her that itsuomi was only into her to learn sign language and then bounce #once again #I will never EVER feel bad for this guy #and judging by the preview shun might finally tell Emma about itsuomi and yuki #and I swear to god if her reaction is worse than sushi's im gonna snap #and if she even THINKS about confronting yuki im gonna straight up spazz #just let my JSL lovebirds be happy and in love

[loelett]

slightly older drawing of me thinking abt his hair length..

#if u saw this a few weeks ago no you didnt #im a fan of every interpretation of his hair honestly. it's really fun to see how ppl imagine him #mine is not accurate to canon at all and i think there isn't really a canon one bc it's SO vague every time he's described #unless im just blind and missed stuff (completely possible) #oh weellllll. i still prefer long hair louis even tho i dont draw him that way. it feels the most canon to me even thoug it definitely isnt #(brad's fault) #louis de pointe du lac #interview with the vampire #iwtv #vc #the vampire chronicles #my art

[gravebeetle]

Ceramic Hornet and knight from Hollow Knight!

This is my actually second time trying to make ceramic HK figures. The first set I made didn't turn out great for a number of reasons (using the wrong glaze, using too little underglaze, legs breaking off when loading the kiln, general dissatisfaction with the shapes and proportions, etc.), but I'm much happier with these two.

And here is a more straightforward picture of the figures, as well as a comparison between the two sets. I am so glad I did three coats of white underglaze this time, it was absolutely necessary. The old ones look even jankier in person.

#hollow knight #ceramics #hornet hk #the knight hk #my art #it was a lot of fun going outside and posing them on things #honestly it was a bit frustrating making the first set since it was going so well until the glazing phase where it all fell apart #i remember taking them out of the kiln and seeing the transparent underglaze and just being disappointed #i was worried about the second set but everything went well #like genuinely im impressed by how cleanly things went. ceramics is a field where things can go wrong for no fault of ones own #especially if you share a studio with other people. that is the reason why v1 hornet has no legs

[popping-greenbean]

there are so many things that i could do so well,,, if only i could like.actually do them

#ok to rb or comment on if anyone wants to ??? i just want to ramble a bit #this post is about everything at once and nothing in particular but also very much about my art career wtf #i miss school already.having structure and clear immediate tasks to focus on and surrounded by people who i can tell myself can understand #like id still be feeling the raging imposter syndrome and self hatred but then at least i can still bury myself in schoolwork and #tell myself that its the best that i can do at the moment and i make excuses to forgive myself undeservingly for not doing more #back home with same old people into same old habits and i am once again 14 hiding in my closet writing edgy poetry plotting murder and #trying to ignore the yelling downstairs and trying to convince myself that its not my fault but at the core of it all it really is isnt it #and out of sight out of mind its harder to convince myself that i am still loved or worthy of it or even capable honestly #and craving the academic validation hearing someone say that what comes from my mind has any value at all any real meaning #and maybe then im still just trying to fool myself because what i want is for someone to believe im capable because i cant do it for myself #craving someplace i can distance myself from being who ive been all my life and guilt for not wanting what ive been lucky enough to receive #ok going to stop before i incriminate myself even more #prob will delete later but if i forget to haha hi #greenbean talks to plants

[blueskittlesart]

post about how many vocaloid voicebanks i have is circulating so i guess i have to start actually using them again. this one uses gumi kaito and technically miku but just as a clone of the gumi track for more dimension bc gumi sounds flat as fuck on her own lmao

#gumi remains both the only usable english voicebank i own and also incredibly difficult to tune. girl can you FIND THE NOTE PLEASEEE #shes honestly soooo hard to work with. why are we noticably sharp when the pb is like 2 degrees off the note. please #all that to say if shes off key it's not my fault. its because she doesnt WANT to be on key apparently #this was also another fucking battle with audacity because i can't mix to save my life. i still dont think it sounds good but WHATEVERRRR #theres only so much that reverb can do. im going to blame gumi #and my ai gumi is BROKEN BTW bc i originally wasnt even going to tune this and just let the AI do it but she WONT WORK ANYMOREEEEE #i hate vocaloid (<guy who is obsessed with vocaloid) #anyways. #vocaloid

[skitskatdacat63]

I feel weirdly compelled by this

#like the way jarno has to be on his tiptoes in the first gif #and the way adrian keeps grabbing him to try and placate him #THE LAST GIF ESPECIALLY #idk just very very interesting vibes #me when race car drivers argue: 😳😳😳 #not that im being particularly shippy abt it. i mean i really dont even think these two have even interacted really before this point #but theres just something about it idk...compells me #i think its just because of the height difference that makes me go insane no matter the context #also why are they both kinda caked up- #honestly what a wild crash. its so funny bcs theyre here like this like: #jarno bitching at adrian x adrian trying to calm him down(even tho it was pretty much jarnos fault imo) #and then(not pictured on screen) fernando in the corner who also was taken out in the crossfire 😭😭 #theres this pic where all three are walking to the pits #and its funny bcs they didnt even notice nano crashed so its like hey wait wtf are you doing here?????? #well anyways this was captioned 'the girls are fighting!' in my race notes and its very apt #more gifs to come obv :D #f1 #formula 1 #formula one #2009 brazilian gp #jarno trulli #adrian sutil #*i am actually so blind wow. i said nano not pictured but he literally right there in the back 🤦‍♀️ #fernando alonso #we do a little bit of f1

[cyborgcatboys]

-- TAKING A BREAK --

hewwo, im gonna be taking a break from tumblr for the next while.

ive come to realize that im on tumblr wayyyy too much bc of my (newly found) ocd so im leaving for a while to try and deal with it (+ other stuff in the op tags)

i'll be back once im satisfied w/ my progress, but there is a chance i won't be back for months, so if u want to stay in contact send me a DM w ur discord or smthn, i'll check them a couple of times in the next couple days, but after that no tumblr at all.

so yeah, byebyes & i'll see u people later hopefully <3

#cybernetic meows #im putting more reasons why under the cut in the tags #xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx #okay so ive found that i probably have ocd and the whole chronological dash is actually quite bad for me bc ive gotten obsessive over #seeing every single post from all the blogs im following and thats just not really worth it in terms of time and #plus im quite lonely atm so seeing people on the dash being friends and having fun together is honestly making me feel sick and #a bit dysphoric #which just sucks but its not really anyones fault (but mine ig) #this break is mainly just so i can sort out life #finish exams get a job #get some mf therapy cuz yeah i def need it #try and connect w my local queer community hopefully #maybe try and move out but thats probly years away yet #anyway if u read this far thanks i appreciate it alot <3

[gaymingintrovert]

You know I know my parents didn’t intend to upset me but the whole “AFAB people have periods because Eve ate the apple” thing added like three levels to my religious trauma at 10-12 years old

#I didn’t know why all of us had to be punished for something that wasn’t our fault #I thought god hated us honestly #in other news I left christianity when I was 12 #like my thought process was why should the women be punished but not the men #ex methodist #religious trauma #ex christian #periods