#honestly. if one of the romanceable characters were a butch THEN i might. if only she were romanceable. if only if only | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bitegore · 1 month

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hello, im currently making a sort-of remake of your Blorbo Bleebus template (both to make a higher resolution image, darkmode version and transparent versions) and am debating making some changes to it (e.g. changing fruity to queer). Are there any changes you would make nowadays if you could?

originally put this at the end but the post got long so i'm moving it up here. Anyway I really appreciate you doing this and I also appreciate you reaching out about it. If you think I'm full of shit on any or all of the lines, feel free to completely ignore it, I don't mind. I would love to see your version when you're done! Good luck!

Anyway. Honestly I'd probably change up a lot of it - all of the elements were from various memes, and not all of them are in fashion. The only reason fruity is even on there (I don't particularly like the word myself either) is because the original meme that spawned the entire thing (including the idea of it being a blorbo rating system) was from a wine-flavor label - and thus "fruity" was a particularly awkward choice of a word for it to try to say "this tastes like grapes" lol. I don't think almost anyone who saw the sheet had seen that, though, or knew much about wine tasting (no shade, me either), so like a bunch of the other jokes it falls flat to basically everyone lmao.

These are what I would change. You don't have to do any of these, of course. But it's the ones I'd do. Sorry for how much it bounces around, most of them are just "the first thing i thought of after looking at the sheet again" so it's kind of random and not well organized.

#1: "Flavor Container" turned out to be a much more niche thing than I thought it was; replace it with something that gets at the idea of a character being an "archetype" or "really conentrated" amount of that kind of thing that works better and has more broad-spectrum immediate understanding Or just like, some other type of character-describing meme, up to you

#2: someone pointed out (rightly!) that there is one gender-specific subtype (himbo) on there but no female-specific gender subtype, and that the cat meme i put in as placeholder text on the character box uses he/him pronouns, which both kind of push it toward being gender-specific even though that wasn't what I had wanted. I'd either switch Himbo out for a more recent and less gendered meme or add a female-gendered meme (eg: "girlboss", "butch fatale", etc) to even out the subtypes, and swap out the pronouns on the cat meme for they/them instead of he/him. Might also be worthwhile to switch the bar option for "just some guy" for something like "just some rando" but honestly that doesn't have the same energy; I don;t think there is a properly gender-neutral equivalent for 'guy' that i can think of that won't sound forced and as long as it's not directed at anyone in particular I think that one can be left alone. Tbh if you're switching fruity out you should almost definitely also do these.

#3. i'm pretty sure calling things skrunkly is on its way out, i'd come up with a more recent meme adjective for the name spot i think

#4. one of the bars in the middle of the page goes between "1,000 tools" and "1,000 weapons", which (because I expected at most 30 notes) I figured would be similarly comprehensible to flavor container. It's meant to reflect an outlook on life, ie, do they build things up to solve problems or do they attack and tear down their problems? I don't think this is a very effective set and also it's not a good joke, so it's probably best to put something else there.

#5. the "you want them to have" section is clunky and not very good, which is because that was the last part i did when I made it and I rushed it because I was bored of the project by then. I think there are a lot more interesting things to talk about than "do they have sex" "do they have romance" "do they have friends" and "did you hate their ending specifically" BUT also i have been informed that this is the shipping website and I'm not really a huge shipper, so my lack of interest in most of the contents of those boxes might not be reflective of everyone else's! Please use your best judgement here, if you like that bit then you can absolutely keep it. That being said I think it would be interesting to get into something like "tropes" instead, switching out the idea of like, desirable plot beats for the character with like, desirable common storytelling tropes or something to suhove the character into, or genres, or w/e. it would also suit the rest of the sheet better. i also think it would be more fun to be filling in boxes like "go in the dark" and "bonk on head with giant mallet" and "hunted for sport" than "more romance" and "less romance", if you follow me lol

#6. The idea of the slider bars is fine, but the shape is apparently kind of tough for people to work with unless they're confident drawing digitally in some way, so intead of doing a straight black line with a black line down the center, I would do an outlined bar with a black line down the center, sort of like the below. I think this will be easier for people to fill in with a paint bucket tool or w/e and hopefully save some wrists.

#7. I keep seeing comments asking for it to be a fillable PDF as well, which is like, not something I am capable of making if I'm honest. I don't do PDFs. No idea if you do, but if you do have the ability, it might be a solid plan to make it as a PDF first so it can be converted into a fillable PDF somehow. I took a stab at doing that yesterday but then i got frustrated and bored and gave up lol.

#8. tbh if you're making it a bigger resolution this might not be an issue but the text is really kind of small. I'd probably change the image ratio and scale a lot of the text up, sort of like this (sorry i am not working on a computer where i have robust photo editing tools or the original file so i am just sort of cutting it up in photopea with my mouse so it looks kind of jank). The reason for this is because the program I made it in just sort of opened with a printer-paper-sized page and i went "cool, I can work with that" and didn't change it. But when sharing and posting it, it becomes hard to read.

(this also doesnt really work... i'm not very good at optimizing things for post-readability ;-;)

#9. the slider between "stupid as shit" and "scary-smart" isnt that good, i'd swap it for "not the..." and "sharpest tool in the shed" respectively, because i think that that is more fun. or something along those lines

#10. I already said I would change this bit out entirely, but if you do keep the "you want them to have" section mostly as-is, the last eight or so don't really fit with what's already there - "freedom", "catharsis", "justification", "The Realization", "revenge", "conseequences", "sympathy" and "a satisfying ending" are about the writing the character is situated in, but "a better/worse time", "better/worse situation", "more/less trauma", "more/less healing", "more/less/different romance", "more/less/different sex", "more/less/different friends", "painful isolation" and "a family" are about relationships and emotional experiences the character is having in-universe. I guess you could leave freedom, revenge and consequences in there, but they don't really suit it well. I'd either switch the last handful for things that fit the theme (and also the more/less/different/none scheme), or make the entire thing center around the writing choices in the original narrative they're from.

#11. If you're redoing it from the ground up, you also get to pick a better font... I badly wish I had done all the titles in Impact (the meme font, you know the one) because I think it would've been funny. I probably would've put like, "bottom text" at the very bottom of the page too but that's probably not as funny to anyone who isn't me. I didn't want to bother tweaking it when I finished it, so it has NBOS's default font (I think it was Arial Black?) instead.

#12. I'd probably switch "soft and sweet" to "cinnamon roll", i've seen that one make a comeback recently and also it's so old that the fact that it's out of date brings some kind of humor to it along with it in a way that "soft and sweet" doesn't really do.

#13. "aspirational character" doesn't really do anything in the subclass list anyway - it's not interesting or funny and much of what it covers is also covered by "just like you fr" and "braincell haver", so i'd also replace that one with a more interesting recent character meme.

#14. tbh the checkboxes underneath the picture box were me taking a bunch of potshots at Batman specifically (well, besides murderer, but that was beacuse I needed another line). In the spirit of it, if you have a particularly common Kind of blorbo that other people keep putting on your dash nowadays, it would probably make sense to take their traits and put them in there instead until if you check all of them off you get that character instead. Keep it updated and fresh and fun and all that lol.

Also - last things-

please don't write me in as the "original creator" or w/e - I was cribbing so much from so many other people and places that I don't really feel like it's worth crediting it all to me, all I did was grid it out. No idea if that was part of your plan but if it was like. don't worry about it, if it wasn't, then that's great because that works for both of us :D

understand if you're not interested or don't want it, but if it would be helpful, I can send you a probably way higher resolution version than is floating around on Tumblr if you like - the program I made it with was designing it to be a printable sheet so it's a high enough resolution that the edgtes would all print nice and crisply, I think Tumblr just has a maximum image size and my layout didn't work very well with it lmao

#red replies #Anonymous #WILD #im still just astounded that people even liked it in the first place

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calliopesburn · 1 year

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So you mentioned queer film and docs in some of your tags, may I ask if you have any specific recommendations?

thank u for asking i have SO MANY!!!!!!!!!!

i haven't actually checked but im 99% sure all of these films were definitely directed and likely also written by queer people; for context this top list is all new so look for film festivals that might be screening or streaming these virtually / below i added some older films that are more easy to find

New from the past year or two:

the one i mentioned in the post is one i definitely recommend - it's called Nelly & Nadine (doc) - two women fall in love in a concentration camp, survive, and live happily together - the documentary gets made when a queer grandkid finds old stuff and is like hrmmmm

Rule 34 - one of my favorite films ever honestly - a black sex worker (in brazil) gets into criminal law school (paid for by her sex work) and witnesses her own life and identity being constantly debated in the classroom while continuing her sex work and beginning to explore BDSM at night - she becomes increasingly erratic throughout the film in a way that culminates beautifully (talk about a chaos queer) an incredibly commentary on women's agency

Before I Change My Mind - i think it takes place in the 60s - a non-binary pre-teen kid moves from america to a small canadian town and struggles to make friends for .02 seconds before they set their sights on their crush and become a member of their toxic friend group - puts a whole new spin on 'coming of age'

Compulsus - a woman starts hunting down men who sexually assault women (from the descrip it says it never shows the actual assault that leads her to start striking back, only her committing violence)

Tahara - first of all the stop motion kiss scene still has me reeling. two jewish bffs attend a funeral and things get real awkward when they kiss 'for fun'

Framing Agnes (doc) - gender case studies from a 50's UCLA clinic are re-enacted by icons like Angelica Ross - incredible history

Wildhood - a two-spirit teen falls for another indigenous boy while he journeys with his brother to find their mom

Anything's Possible - Billy Porter's directorial debut - a muslim boy falls for a trans girl and takes his shot even though he knows people will freak out (and they do) but it's really affirming and supportive and lovely and funny <3

Esther Newton Made Me Gay (doc) - ok wanna talk about queer history?? Esther Newton was the first person to ever write about drag culture from an anthropological perspective PERIOD. i think if i remember correctly she was fired from parsons, and was on very thin ice for a long time with her career - but even still she wrote and paved the way for queer academia - writing about fire island, cherry grove, the drag scene, and more!!!!! she also identifies as a butch lesbian/between genders and this film is so incredible for the lesbians - you really need to hear her talk about gender, about butchness and femmeness - ALSO you get to see her childhood growing up in the early 1900's as a queer person and it's incredible, you'll cry but like in a GOOD cathartic way

Sleep With Me (series) - a soapy sapphic thai romance between two disabled women - one in a wheelchair and another with a rare sleep disorder. this will literally give you every cute soapy sapphic moment you could ask for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girl Picture - lesbians watch this one!!!!!!!! this is a ROMANCE!!!!!! there were scenes where i was like omg!!!!!!! when you never realize how desperately ur craving a certain style - just watch the trailer please ; also asexuals u should watch this one too :) (just to be clear though the asexual character is straight, not the sapphic romance)

Mama Bears (doc) - this doc will also make u cry but in a really fucking good way. this is a doc on christian parents who used to be conservative and homophobic before changing perspectives after their kids come out. most notable is Kai (though she also chooses the name Esther for herself <3, based on her favorite person in the Bible), a trans girl who talks about coming out to her mom as a girl as young as 3 years old, and in spite of the abuse she was put through, she kept saying it and her mom eventually realized she could either lose her "son" forever, or accept and love her daughter. im tearing up writing this - her mom gave up her entire family to literally save her daughters life - and she did.

Nana's Boys - two black men are about to get engaged when the city goes on lockdown and their relationship is put to the test - truths come out and the gorgeous twists and turns of their relationship really shows the gentleness and supportiveness of queer relationships (it's called nana's boys because they were both raised by their grandmas <3)

Unidentified Objects - a lovely film about two neighbors who take an unexpected road trip - their lives of course changing forever as a result. one of the characters is a gay little person who's mourning the death of a close friend and the other is a sex worker who is looking for the aliens who took her when she was a kid (yes that's literally the plot) it's wonderfully well written and has one of those endings that'll send you reeling

New - haven't seen but on my list:

The First Fallen - a narrative story that follows a group a friends as the first wave of the AIDS epidemic approaches in Peru <3

All the Beauty and the Bloodshed (doc) - you'll likely hear about this as its Laura Poitras' new film, it's about Nan Goldin

Stupid for You - a sapphic girl musical????????????????????

Way Down - an episodic on a bunch of friends trying to be musicians - the lead is non-binary in a romance with various ladies and i think everyone else in the band is queer too

The Blue Caftan - a tailor in morocco lives happily closeted with his wife until they hire a sexy assistant

The Inspection - a gay man enters the military and finds unexpected support and family

El Houb - can only remember that it's a muslim guy who comes out to his dad but is a dark comedy (he literally runs into the closet at a point in the film)

My Emptiness and I - a newly out transfemme woman navigates life and dating and surgery

Moneyboys - two gay men in i think taiwan?

so in general i highly recommend paying attention to queer film festivals - newfest, frameline, and outfest are the major US ones (they only stream in the US but im pretty sure you can use a vpn) inside out is a canadian one; most of them stream now!!!! like 80% of their films are available to stream for a short duration so sign up for their email lists and mark their festivals on your calendars because if you pay attention to these you'll start to see actual queer stories written and directed by queer people!!!!!!!!

also consider watching shorts programs - some of the most impactful films ive been seeing have been shorts (there's one called Dress Up that has been glued into the back of my skull for like 2 months) and shorts are basically seeing into the future of queer film and a lot of them are amazing so highly recommend!!!!!!!

For things currently streaming or easy to find and download:

Fantasy of the Girls (2017/2018 depending where you look) thrilled to list this one as it's actually the film that made me realize im a lesbian :) full film is also on YT

The Incredibly True Adventure of Two Girls in Love dir Maria Maggenti (1995)

Saving Face (2000) and The Half of It - dir Alice Wu

The Watermelon Woman (1996)

Hedwig and the Angry Inch (late 90s i think)

Fire (1996)

Desert Hearts (1985)

The Velvet Vampire - feels like jennifer's body but in 1971 with a vampire who wants to have sex/kill both ppl in a married couple (dir. by a woman; haven't seen this yet though)

Chutney Popcorn (1999)

Paris is Burning (1990)

Brother to Brother (2004) (anthony mackie)

Pariah

Portrait of a Lady on Fire

The Miseducation of Cameron Post (a sad one but chloe moretz dated the girl from the film and the director is queer - incredible film)

Lingua Franca

Fire Island

Naz & Maalik

The Obituary of Tunde Johnson

Firstness

Firebird

See You Then

Ammonite

No Hard Feelings

Shiva Baby

Flee

Passing

also consider watching shorts programs - some of the most impactful films ive been seeing have been shorts (there's one that has been glued into the back of my skull for like 2 months) and shorts are basically seeing into the future of queer film and a lot of them are amazing so highly recommend!!!!!!!

#hope this helps!!!!!!#watch queer film!!!!!!!!#queer film #long post

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danses-with-dogmeat · 3 years

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could you do the anxious tics prompt with fo3 and new vegas companions? sorry, i think i’ve asked you to add characters a lot but i just really love your writing ^^”

FO3 and FONV Romanced! Companions react to Lone's/Six's Anxiety Tics

Here you are, my love. Please never feel bad about requesting more people! It's honestly what I live for, and I loooooove making content for the FO3 and NV folks, since I feel like there's a lot less written about them in general 😊

So thank you so much for the ask!

Here is the prompt with FO4 Companions!

FO3

Butch:

The flash of large red-framed letters had caught Butch’s attention as the pair stood waiting to speak to Doc Church outside his clinic in Megaton. “Whatcha got there, babe?” he had asked, before realizing that it was, in fact, exactly what he had thought. Lone blushed as they looked up at him, hiding behind the pages of their comic book. “You really kept that? After all these years?” They had nodded to him, explaining that it was a sort of security blanket for them, that they could always count on reading the same story, seeing the same happy ending each time they looked between the pages, each time they felt uncertainty or stress, they could count on Grognak to see them through it. He grinned whenever he saw them with it, often curling up beside them, or leaning his head on their shoulder to try and read along with them. In these cases, Lone had to read the pages slower than they normally would, reading the same comic book over and over for the last 10 years means you can skim through it pretty quickly, but they don’t really seem to mind. Now they get to watch as this person that they care so much for enjoys the comic book they relied on and adored for so long.

Charon:

The ghoul was curious about Lone’s tendency to nap directly after dealing with stressful situations, but he decided not to voice any inquiries. His companion would explain themself if they wanted him to know more. One day, they did. Lone had thanked him for always looking after them while they rested off their anxiety, and mentioned that it was something they couldn’t help. Charon had nodded at them, acknowledging their gratitude, before his blue eyes had narrowed in his effort to process the rest of what they had said. It seemed strange to him, sleeping off nerves... Wouldn’t that make it more difficult to sleep? He decided that the logic of it didn’t really matter, whatever it was that caused it, he would look after his partner as they took the time to rest. Soon enough, they would beckon for him to join them, leaning against his shoulder or laying their head in his lap as he kept watch over them. A scarred hand would come to run softly through their hair, or graze lightly over their arm as they dreamed away their anxieties alongside their watchful partner.

Clover:

Lone wasn't quite sure why, but it seemed to them that Clover was always so handsy whenever they became anxious. They had to admit, they didn't necessarily mind it, but she always seemed to get frisky at the most inopportune times. Meanwhile, Clover just can't seem to figure out why Lone is always casting hints her way in the middle of stressful situations. She gets it, she totally is picking up what Lone is putting down every time they draw their bottom lip between their teeth and gnaw away so suggestively, but do they really have to do that right now?! Once Clover finds out it's just Lone's way of coping with their anxiety, she feels sort of foolish… but that doesn't stop her from getting a little turned on whenever Lone does it, even though the timing is usually inconvenient for both of them. But after the trouble and stress has passed, Lone will certainly need to blow off some steam, right? If that’s the case, Clover is more than ready for it.

Cross:

Cross often noticed when Lone had trouble focusing, she tends not to miss a thing, especially when it comes to her Lone. When she sees her partner struggling to keep their attention trained on the person speaking to them, she usually will step in and ask if the person can speak to her companion again at a later time. Her direct and clear way of speaking is a relief for Lone when they are experiencing tension, as their listening becomes almost ineffective when they are being spoken to during times of high stress or anxiety. Paladin Cross understands this, and pays particular attention to speak slowly and with great care in these times. Due to her affinity for speaking this way normally, she and Lone tend to never have issues with communication; which evidently, tends to keep Lone from becoming anxious when they’re around their partner.

Fawkes:

Within his first couple weeks of traveling alongside Lone, the mutant noticed their need to constantly snack. When he decided to inquire about it, and they hesitantly explained their habit to stress eat, he wasn’t sure he understood it, but he knew that he had his own ways of dealing with his nerves, which came in the form of wringing his hands whenever he became anxious. So, if this is how Lone deals with it, he will accept it without question. It wasn’t until one fateful day, when Lone had realized they were completely out of snacking material and they were on the brink of a breakdown, that they realized Fawkes had taken their words to heart, as he reached out a large hand, filled to the brim with an assortment of their favorite snacks from one of his pockets. All this time they thought he only kept ammunition in there, turns out, their partner always had a well-stocked stash of their anxiety-repellent hidden away for cases just like these. They smiled coyly as they took a box of snack cakes, and a tin of crisps, settling down beside Fawkes as he lightly ran his hand up and down their back as they leaned into him, their breathing already beginning to return to normal with each passing moment.

Jericho:

The ex-raider always thought it was a little annoying, the way his companion would stutter at him every time something got dicey, or when they had to deal with some sort of verbal confrontation. It was painful to watch, and when he brought it up to them, and they stuttered back an embarrassed response, he realized it was well out of their control. It would still bug him, and he might make an off-handed comment about it every once in a while, but the more he saw that those comments weren’t funny to his partner, the more they glared at him as he laughed at his own rude jokes, he decided he should refrain from such talk. Lone hadn’t developed a thick skin like most wastelanders he was used to, and certainly not like most raiders; and he would have to constantly remind himself of that. After his realization, he wouldn’t say a word about their stutter again, and God help anyone who did. You mention his partner’s stutter, you’ll probably have one too by the time he’s done with you. If you still even have a tongue, that is.

FONV:

Arcade:

The doctor almost flinched at the feeling of Six’s fingers wrapping around his thumb the first time they did it, but he managed to keep his composure and simply utter a sarcastic comment in response to their sudden action. But when their stress passed, and they explained that it was a tic of theirs that they had trouble controlling, he immediately understood. Not only was he a doctor (so you know, he has pretty extensive knowledge regarding things of this nature) but he’s also had his own lovely tangles with anxiety in the past, and can’t really blame Six for their habit (despite the fact that he has absolutely no tics of his own to deal with). However, his understanding of it doesn’t mean he isn’t going to make some sort of humorous comment on the action whenever it occurs. At Six’s annoyed expression he says that he is simply trying to lighten the mood a bit, maybe distract them with his humorous musings. Six thinks he must not have a clue that he exercises his own coping mechanism (ahem, sarcasm) whenever their gesture makes him uncomfortable, so they end up trying to keep themself from grasping onto his thumb to the best of their abilities. But, to be honest, they’re relieved when Arcade begins reaching over his hand to them in times of stress, his eyes avoiding theirs, and his comments going unuttered, but his thumb extending outward to allow easy access nonetheless. This gesture usually results in a kiss on the cheek for the doctor when his partner has gotten through their bout of stress.

Boone:

He had noticed it when he first met the courier, the way they couldn't look him in the eye. Boone hadn't been sure if it was just him, considering his constant need to wear sunglasses and his somewhat stoic demeanor, or if it was the way they were with everyone, but either way, he didn’t mind in the slightest. When he found that it was a result of their anxiety, he simply nodded to them in understanding, and the pair went on their way. The sniper honestly wasn’t big on direct eye contact himself, another boon of wearing sunglasses was being able to keep your eyes trained wherever you liked, and so people tended not to notice his own habit of avoiding eye contact with them. He threw the idea out to Six one night, and soon enough the pair wore matching sunglasses nearly all the time. And though, as he said, he didn’t mind Six’s habit one bit, the knowledge that they only looked people in the eye when they felt completely comfortable and at ease with them made it all the more special when they did decide to look into his eyes when the pair was talking, or sharing a tender moment. In those little instances, Boone liked to study the details of his partner’s eyes, committing their warm and vibrant glow to memory, paying distinct attention to their unique shape, and the way their pupils dilated as they gazed back at him. He only wondered if they noticed his eyes doing the same in return as he took in the details of the one he loved.

Cass:

The caravaner always tends to offer some form of alcohol to Six whenever she sees their leg shaking in such a way. Cass is familiar with the side effects of withdrawal when she sees them, and she'll try to help her partner to the nearest drink as soon as she can. When Six finally asks her about why it is that she offers alcohol to them when they’re feeling stressed, mentioning that it maaaaaay not be the most healthy coping mechanism for anxiety, she is a bit confused. They were anxious!? Strange, she only tends to shake like that when she hasn't had a drink in a while. With the knowledge that it’s a nervous tic of theirs, Cass uses it to her advantage to better tell when her partner needs to take a load off, or blow off some steam. At the sight of their leg thrumming away, she’ll give their thigh a pat to get their attention, and then ask if there’s anything she can do to help them. As luck would have it, a stiff drink does tend to give Six the time to calm their nerves, so that trend isn’t completely abandoned once Cass has found out the truth about Six’s habit.

Raul:

"What's the matter, boss? Can’t find the right word? Lo siento, mi corazón, English isn't my best language, but I can try and help if you want." Raul is… confused at first. Whenever Six snaps their fingers, he can't seem to figure out if they're trying to find the right word to say, or if they happen to be looking for something, maybe they're trying to keep time, or make a beat? Maybe they’re counting something, trying to remember a phrase? Once they tell him it’s just a nervous tic they have, Raul looks a little embarrassed at the fact that he didn’t assume this earlier on. The ghoul tries not to pay much attention to his partner’s habit, since he knows it must make them a little self conscious when people point it out, but sometimes he can't help but snap along, trying to make a little song to go along with their own improvised rhythm. When Six does finally notice his contribution, Raul just likes to wink at them in response, flashing a playful little smile as they blush in embarrassment at the fact that he caught them doing their nervous tic.

Veronica:

When Veronica noticed that her partner had pierced ears, she was ecstatic. Ecstatic, and jealous. She always wanted to pierce her ears, to find or make her own pretty little earrings to decorate herself with, but alas, ear piercings were certainly not within the limits of Brotherhood dress and decorum. Given her interest in them, it’s no surprise that she noticed the way Six twisted the backs between their fingers, twiddling the bits of jewelry absent-mindedly whenever they became stressed or nervous. Often times, Veronica would reach a hand out to gently pry their fingers from their earring, pulling their hand to her lips so she could give it a small kiss before bringing it to settle somewhere else, to keep them from damaging the little bits of jewelry in their ears that she envied so much.

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mrsluthordanvers · 3 years

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This may seem like a really random question but has writing and reading femslash helped you come into your sexual and/or gender identities? I've been in the Supergirl fandom and other primarily f/f fandoms for quite some time and this is something that I've been wondering about recently.

Yes!!

This got really long, and really rambly, and probably tells more about my experience with fandom then you needed to know to answer this question. But here it is lol

I grew up in a relatively conservative and catholic family with limited access to media both bc of this and bc my family was low income. I remember as a little kid we only had a couple channels and when we did get cable when I was older, my parents would stop pay for it during summer months because they wanted us to go outside.

The only gay media I remember ever seeing growing up in my parents house was Imagine Me & You. I caught it once on TV and I have vivid memories of realizing what I was watching and sitting on the edge of the couch paranoid that my parents would come downstairs and catch me watching it. I remember setting up the remote so that when I hit the quick back button it would take me back to some cartoon channel. And glee. Which I was surprisingly actually allowed to watch. I was always waiting for it to get turned off but it never was.

Both my parents were very big on encouraging reading. When we asked for books, it was almost the only time I don’t remember being told no. I remember I spent tons of time in libraries as a kid and it was one of the only places I was allowed to go after school by myself when I was in junior high. And I loved to write, my mom was always asking her to tell me stories and I was always writing in journals.

Basically what I’m saying is that I really did Not have exposure to the gay community. And looking back it seems really natural that I started reading and writing femslash.

It took me a long time to get into though, and to seek out. Instead I was sneaking Nora Roberts books out of the library at grade 7 because they had sex in them. Sex, I thought, that was safe/healthy/whatever because these were the books my sister was reading. Plus my mom said they were too mature for me, and what’s a better motivator then being told no. I didn’t find famslash until very late into high school bc it never even occur to me that I could be reading cheesy romances that were f/f instead.

My first experience actually reading femslash was Rizzles fics on ff.net. I honestly have no idea how I found it bc at the time I couldn’t have told you what fandom was, or that tumblr existed. The only thing I remember knowing about fanfic was that if you said you read fanfic people assumed you were reading about weird sex about characters and would laugh at you. Honestly I might have only found fanfics bc glee was really big at the same time and I was probably hearing people talk about ships and fanfic even if I don’t remember it now. Either way I found it lol. And I read A Lot of rizzoli and isles fics.

And it helped. Towards the end of high school was when it really started to dawn on me that I might like girls and I didn’t have words for it, I didn’t know there was a community, and there certainly wasn’t people I was willing to ask.

Reading femslash was like opening a door. Suddenly I was being introduced to the same kind of cheesy romance writing I was already reading. I was being introduced to the idea of two women going on dates. Having healthy relationships. Having unhealthy relationships. Soft sex. Rough sex. Falling in love. Getting married. Having kids. And it really started to solidify that I liked women.

Up until that point the idea of being gay scared the fuck out of me bc what I knew was so limited, to me being gay = being alone. It meant I wasn’t allowed to have any of those things and I really resisted that.

Reading femslash was a big part of changing that perspective. It made me comfortable enough to tell a girl at 19 I had a crush on her. It helped me feel like it was okay to tell people I wasn’t straight when I went to university. It prompted me to search out more gay media when I went to university. I started to watch glee again. I watched DEBS, and Imagine Me and You, and Saving Face, and Gray Matters, and Bloomington, and Kissing Jessica Stein, and Loving Annabelle. Basically I went through the LGBT section of Netflix in a year.

A friend introduced me to tumblr and told me there was a big gay community. I followed some cool people and aesthetic blogs but honestly I still wasn’t quite finding it.

Then I watched The 100 while it was in season 2 in my last year of university. Completely unaware of Clarke and Lexa. I became obsessed lol. They kissed on screen and it was like a switch went off. I don’t know why it was that show instead of anything else I had been watching that spurred me on. But it did. I started looking up accounts on tumblr and following people and reading so so so much fanfic. I had started to find that vast community on tumblr my friend mentioned and started sending people asks and saw people actually answering asks, and posting their art and their writing. It encouraged me to try writing again, and ask a couple people if they would read stuff I posted.

And then supergirl came out and I was soooo excited for it that I started to try mimicking accounts I saw in the clexa fandom. I figured out how to make gifsets, and I liveblogged, and my friend told me to make a side fandom blog or she’d unfollow me lmao. Which I also didn’t know people did. I started this blog just before season 2 happened and it made for the perfect storm. I already had a small following, I was making content (even if it wasn’t great), and Lena got introduced. And suddenly I REALLY discovered how vast the gay community is bc it was suddenly knocking at my door. It was also a big BIG learning curve.

I was reading people’s fanfics and looking at their fanart. I was seeing depictions of different sexualities. And how two characters can be interpreted in such vastly different ways. I was being shown perspectives I hadn’t seen before, some that made me stop and go. Oh. It helped me identify my first label, and then also taught me labels can change, and mine did. I wasn’t just reading fics about two women in a relationship, I was opening fics and seeing me. I saw a piece of fanart of Butch Kara and thought, she looks like me. And then I started to see people writing about butch Kara and commenting about butch Kara and it wasn’t just, she looks like me. It became she looks like me, and that is desirable. And that gave me confidence. I stopped shaving, my wardrobe has started to change, I started buying things I wanted to wear not that I thought I should wear. I learned I wanted people to see me and think I was handsome or attractive before they thought I pretty or cute lol

Writing femslash has a different kind of self reflection. I like to think I have started to notice when I project things on to characters, and think about why those things are important to me. Or why I get defensive over certain headcanons. All things that have made me step back and look at my own sexuality and gender identity. Which honestly I’m still figuring out and is still changing, but I’ve learned that’s okay too (fanfic has also normalized that for me lol)

Art is meant to make you feel things, think about things. I don’t think fanfic or fanart is any different. Sometimes it is just meant to make you feel you horny and sometimes it makes you reflect on whether or not you might be butch. Personally I think it’s very cool that it’s so powerful

#no clue what to tag this #y'all getting a big dose of me today #this took me forever to wrangle up in my head and write #but short answer #yes femslash has definitely helped me navigate my sexuality and gender #answered #Anonymous

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tumblezwei · 4 years

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Despite how little time I actually have these days to sit down and read anything, I’ve developed quite the long list of manga. Some of it’s popular stuff like AoT or Berserk, and others are just trashy series that I’ll never talk about because I have some level of shame. I don’t know where Im leading with this except to give some kind of context for the random manga I’m about to list off. I’ll put genre and a small synopsis, not all of these are going to be to everyone’s tastes, if any of them are, but I highly recommend each one of them.

We’re gonna start with my favorite and go down

1. The Faraway Paladin

William is a shut-in that dies alone in his apartment and is reincarnated as a baby, surrounded by three undead figures: a mummy, a ghost, and a skeleton. The three raise him as their own son and teach him combat and magic as he tries to figure out the reason he was given a second chance.

fantasy, adventure, isekai

Please don’t let the isekai description deter you, it’s not a harem, or an ecchi anime, or some power fantasy where Will is the chosen one. It’s focus is mostly on family and Will’s connections with other people and how that strengthens him. It’s only got 28 chapters translated right now, so don’t expect a sweeping saga, but it’s still criminally underrated in a space saturated with mediocre fantasy isekai. But if you do like the story and can’t wait, it’s adapted from a light novel.

Also just, look at my boy, my beautiful son.

2. Ebony

5 years ago, Ebony Vonieck was convicted for the murder of her fiance and sent to a women-only prison, where the guards abused and mistreated the inamtes on a daily basis. Then one day, Archduke Schneider somehow managed to free her from her imprisonment and brought her to his manor, where she was tgiven a warm reception and care that she was not used to. Schneider sees in Ebony a level of intelligence and potential that’s wasted on the patriarchal society of her kingdom, and gives her the oppurtunites to grow her skill and work alongside him.

historical, fantasy, romance

Honestly it would probably be better to just paste the descriptions as they’re given, but I don’t think either description fits with what this story is. No, this is not a stroy where a man comes in and saves the poor woman from the evil other men and tells her she ~just doesn’t know how special she is~. This is a story about a woman taking her life back after everything was stolen from her, and taking the oppurtunities given to her to rise above her percieved worth and gain confidence in herself. Ebony is a fantastic character, and the story is majorily focused on her growth as a person, rather than her romance with Schneider (which hasn’t even started yet in the chapters that have been translated).

3. A Stepmother's Märchen

At a young age, Shuli was sold off to marry the windowed Marquis of Neuschwanstein and take care of his four children. But suddenly, the Marguis died, leaving Shuli alone in a high society world she knew nothing about. She lived her life under harsh criticism and scorn, even from her own adopted children, until one day she’s pushed down a flight of stairs and dies. But instead of dying, she’s brought back to the day of her husband’s funeral, and begins living her life as the Marchioness Shuli Von Neuschwanstein, but this time she’s going to do it differently.

fantasy, romance, drama

At this point you can probably tell my preferences, and guess what this one is going to be about. And you’d be right, it’s about family, rectifying past mistakes, and romance that’s pratically nonexistant because finding out who you are and what you stand for is more important at the moment. Admittedly this one is more on the power fantasy side of Shuli getting to stick it to people who were assholes in previous life, but I still think it’s a good read with some unique and beautiful art.

4. Mieruko-chan

All of a sudden, Miko is able to see grotesque monsters all around her; but no one else can. Rather than trying to run away or face them, she instead musters all of her courage and... ignores them. Join in on her day-to-day life as she keeps up her best poker face despite the supernatural goings-on.

comedy, supernatural, horror

This one’s mainly just for fun, and to break up the list so you don;t think all of my faves are the exact same lol. You’ve defintely seen at least a few images from this one, even if you don’t remember where they’re from. It’s mostly a gag/slife of life manga about a girl who can suddenly see ghosts everywhere, and tries to keep them from noticing that she can see them as she goes about her daily life. But what you might not know is that it has...a plot? Kind of? There’s defintely an overarching story going on that’s been taking priorty for the most recent chapters, and it’s defintely what kept the story from going stale on me. Overall it’s a fun read with more depth to it than you’d initially expect.

5. Yeon Lok Heun

Yeon grew up disguised as a boy, living in a monk sancuray learning marital arts as her father went on a journey to get revenge on the people who murdered her mother when she was a baby. When her father gets arrested and is about to be excecuted for his crimes, Yeon begs the young Emperor Garyun to take her life instead. The emperor sees potential in this boy and agrees to spare the father in exchange for the boy’s life-long servitude. The manga follows Yeon solving supernatural problems for the Emperor while trying to keep her identity hidden, even as she falls in love.

historical, fantasy, romance, action

YEAH IT’S ANOTHER ONE OF THESE. AND? AND???

In contrast to the others, however, this one actually isn’t about found family or personal demons, it’s mostly just about Yeon and her supernatural misadventures. And also the romance kind hits you like a freight train. There is no slowburn here, it’s just nonexistant and than WHAM, you’re making frustrated groans at your phone at 2 a.m. because you dorks, you’re in love. It’s fun, a little angsty, and trust me don’t even go into this expecting a breadcrumb trail to the romance just enjoy the story and wait to get hit.

6. The Emperor and the Female Knight

Paulina is a bastard daughter of a count that was sold off at a young age and trained as a soldier to fight in the ongoing war between Cukda and Acrea. After 6 years fighting in this war, she’s captured by Acrean soldiers as a prisoner. After seeing her potential and dedication, Lucius, Emporer of Acrea, offers her a chance to work under him in his army.

historical, fantasy, romance

shut up shut up shut up shut up

I’ll only say one think: twink king supreme and his ginormous, stupidly obvious crush on his butch right hand woman. If you want a romance centering around a masculine woman who’s never given that “Cinderella moment” where she realizes she was “beatiful all along,” and instead stays the entire story as a gruff, buff, battle-hardened badass, then this is the story for you. Incredibly funny, good characters, and a poor man that just wants to smooch Paulina so bad but she’s such a musclehead and doesn’t get it.

7. July as Found by Chance

It starts with Danoh realizing that she has severe gaps in her memory. One minute she’s in class, and the next it’s three days later and she’s in a hospital bed for a check-up on her heart condition. The, she gets flashs of the future, jumbled up images and words that later come true right in front of her eyes. And then she finds the book, with her name inside it. But she’s not the main character, she’s a side character that exists to die.

romance, drama

Unlike every other manga/manhwa on this list, this one is actually completed. It’s a pretty somber story, about two people that find out they’re characters in a story with a set storyline and no chance of happiness together. It’s mostly about their struggle to find some agency in their situation, no matter how much they’re pulled apart. It’s cute, and sometimes sad, with an incredibly unique take on “characters trapped in a story” that I’ve never seen before and haven’t since.

And that’s it for now! Each one of these has something unique to offer, in my mind, and deserve a lot more attention than they have. And now you have a glance at what my tastes are lol, if I’m not reading something like this, then it’s something more action oriented or at least more well-known. If you’ve managed to make it to the end, thanks, maybe I’ll do another one of these if people like this one.

#rambling #manga recs #I guess #this is mostly me highlighting a few of the dozens of stories I've read bc I think they're the cream of the crop #if there are a lot of misspellings pls forgive me

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fandomshatelgbtqpeople · 4 years

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mod a’s lgbt musicals

Hi there! I’m a big theatre kid so I thought for pride month I’d put together a list of LGBTQ musicals. Despite its association with queer people, musical theatre is not known for its amazing representation. I’ve put together a list here of musicals I know of with queer characters. I’ve tried to avoid those where the queer characters are incredibly minor roles or those where the representation is just not good enough to be salvageable (*side eyes Legally Blonde*) I know there are many musicals I will have missed out but these are the ones I am most aware of. Feel free to add more! So without further ado, here it is.

Fun Home

The big Tony winner of 2015! Based on Alison Bechdel, a butch lesbian cartoonist. At the age of 43, she looks for new material by trying to explore her past and her relationship with her closeted gay dad. Looks back at a version of herself when she was 10 and a “tomboy” and at 19 when she came out and got her first girlfriend. Has very cute lighthearted moments as well as very sad moments. Has a beautiful song where small Alison sees a butch deliverywoman. Problems in that since the original broadway cast, Alison’s costume has got less butch. Content warning for suicide.

Here’s their Tony performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMAuesRJm1E

The Color Purple

Based on Alice Walker’s novel about black women in the 1930s. Follows Celie who has been abused by men her whole life who discovers she is a lesbian but also makes a journey of self discovery and learns to love herself. Her love interest is a bisexual woman. Won best revival at the Tonys in 2016. Content warning for discussion/implied sexual abuse.

Here’s their Tony performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3k2xzQyT2bk

Everybody’s Talking About Jamie

A teenage gay boy in Sheffield wants to be a drag queen and go to prom in a dress.Also a nice touch that is does not focus on him having a relationship (since he is sixteen) and him having to come out as he is already out. Focuses on his close relationship with his supportive mother. Has a diverse cast. Jamie is currently played by a black actor and his best friend wears a hijab and has a very diverse ensemble as well. Unfortunately has a part where Jamie responds to a homophobic bully by calling him a bunch of ableist and classist slurs.

Here’s a clip of the most popular song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7C3FuFWDdw

The Prom

Emma is a lesbian teenager in Indiana whose prom is cancelled by the PTA after she requests to bring her girlfriend to it. A group of Broadway actors come down to help her campaign to be allowed to attend prom, as well as styling her, helping her work on her confidence and educating the town’s people. What ensues is basically a two hour musical episode of Queer Eye. Cheesy and fun with so many musical theatre references crammed in. My one issue is that the show is rather harsh on people who are closeted since Emma has conflicted with her girlfriend Alyssa because she is not ready to come out.

Here’s a clip of their Tony performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGcG_r5xv3E

Rent

Probably the most well known on this list. Artists in New York during the AIDS crisis. Two of the main couples featured are queer: Maureen is bisexual and in a relationship with Joanne who is a lesbian, and Angel is a transgender woman of color in a relationship with Collins, a presumably bisexual man. However, she tends to be played bi cis men and there are instances of her being misgendered by the main characters uncritically. In Rent Live (2019), all instances of her being misgendered were removed and her gender identity was confirmed. She was played in this by Valentina, an nb drag queen and has also been played by Pose’s MJ Rodriguez, a trans woman. Very diverse with Jewish characters and people of colour and in the live show, only 1 of the 8 main characters was white. Has been criticised over the years, mainly for its biphobic portrayal of Maureen who is promiscuous and implied to cheat, but in the 90s did a lot for the LGBTQ community and is more progressive than a lot of media even now.

Here’s a clip of Maureen and Joanne from Rent Live: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06oCfKYYPTY

And here’s some Angel and Collins: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hl-M94o_x8

Falsettos

Marvin comes out as gay in the late 70s but decides to move his ex wife and son in with his boyfriend. Addresses AIDS crisis in Act 2. Has “lesbians from next door” in act 2. F Revived on Broadway in 2016. All of the characters are Jewish. Unfortunately, in revival casts, very few actors tend to be Jewish.

Here’s the trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZjnAHOdMQVk

Come From Away

In the aftermath of 9/11, 38 planes are diverted to a small town in Canada called Gander. Shows people of different races and nationalities bonding in a scary time. Addresses Islamophobia. Has one song called Prayer where prayers from different religions overlap. Has an interracial gay couple called Kevin and Kevin. They break up in the end but are very important characters. Won best direction of a musical in 2017. The Broadway production starred Jenn Colella who has referred to herself as ‘mostly gay’.

Here’s a clip of Jenn Colella singing a song from the musical: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8ukgH6U-d0

Head Over Heels

Honestly I don’t quite know what this musical is about, even by reading the plot summary and listening to the soundtrack. I know it’s set in a Tudor fantasy world and that there are wlw couples as well as an explicitly non binary character, played by Peppermint, a trans woman, and that there are interracial couples and plus sized actors. It is a jukebox musical using songs by the Go-Gos and yes the wlw anthem that is Heaven is a Place on Earth is one of them. The soundtrack is fantastic even if you can’t follow what is going on.

Here are some show clips: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wx2qQ7QAPm0

Spring Awakening

German school kids in the 19th century discovering their sexuality. Two of the schoolboy supporting characters, Ernst and Hänschen, have a romance when they have a reprise of an earlier song in Act 2. A BIG content warning as it has graphic discussions of rape and songs about it and a sex scene with very dubious consent. However there was a very wonderful 2016 revival using deaf actors and sign language.

This is another one you can very easily find the full show of on YouTube which I won’t link. However here’s the Tony performance for the revival: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSagsMcak4Q

If/Then

A woman named Elizabeth (originally played by Idina Menzel) moves to New York after a divorce and contemplated how different her life would be if she took two different paths. Four supporting queer characters. Her ex-boyfriend is bisexual and played by Anthony Rapp (who is bisexual in real life) and he gets a boyfriend in one timeline. Another of her friends is a lesbian called Kate who marries her girlfriend in the musical. Problems occur as in both timelines, cheating goes on in the lesbian relationship although they stay together in one. Elizabeth also says she doesn’t believe in bisexuals, a view no one ever challenges her on, however Lucas is very clearly bisexual which is some proof for the audience that she is wrong.

I’m not going to link it here but there are many very high quality bootlegs on it on YouTube if you want to watch,

Ghost Quartet

A bit of a weird one. This is more of a concept album. There are four performers who each play instruments and they tell the stories of many interconnected timelines. It is very hard to explain but there are souls travelling through time who keep being reincarnated as different people with different relationships to each other which usually end with one woman killing the other. In the song Soldier & Rose, the ghosts Rose and Pearl are lovers as Rose seduces the soldier for her honey. In the song Four Friends, for one chorus the men sing “I like to put my hand on a pretty girls’s knee” and the women sing “pretty boy’s knee” and then they switch for the next chorus so they’re all bisexual. In general, a lot of fun if you like weird musicals and I mean really weird.

The full show is online: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJSaEJm8pCE

Mean Girls

Yes there’s a musical of it. I was not looking forward to it when it was announced but have actually grown to quite like it. It’s hardly lyrical genius but the songs are fun and a lot of the problematic aspects of the film have been fixed. Damian is more explicitly gay in the musical and sings about an ex boyfriend in one song. Janis is heavily implied to be a lesbian (confirmed by actress offstage) and she doesn’t end up with Kevin Gnapoor. She is played by a queer actress in the tour cast. Both queer characters are much bigger roles than in the movie and get several songs each. I’d consider the musical to be quite white feminist but it does address issues such as the sexualisation of teenage girls and the notion that to be ‘sexy’ is ‘empowering’.

Here’s a clip of one of Damian’s songs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-zM6QKkxEQ

& Juliet

An English jukebox musical about what might have happened to Juliet in Romeo and Juliet if she had not died at the end. I haven’t seen it but I’ve listened to the soundtrack and it is mainly comprised of 21st century songs by women. One of Juliet’s best friends is non binary although is played by a cis man as far as we know. Also I went to the same school as one of the actors which is a bonus for me. Very diverse cast.

Here’s a trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dm2k9nS3o20

In Transit

A capella musical about several people’s adventures on New York public transport. Two of the main characters in this ensemble cast are an interracial gay couple where both are pocs. They are engaged but one of them is having trouble coming out to his mother. I found it refreshing in that his fiance for the most part was not upset with him at his struggles in coming out and they were both able to live fulfilling lives despite this. I am always astonished by the talent of a cappella singers.

Here’s a trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhvik6qoass Another one where the bootleg can be found very easily on YouTube

Firebringer

Remember A Very Potter Musical? Well, the company that did that are still putting out new pieces of theatre on their YouTube channel. In 2016, they put out their ridiculous comedy musical Firebringer, about a group of bisexual cavewomen. I won’t spoil the ending but trust me, it’s great. You may know it from the viral clip of one of the main characters singing ‘I don’t really wanna do the work today.’

You can watch the full musical here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmVuNlu0LCk

Special Mentions

Company

Musical by Stephen Sondheim about a man unable to commit to a relationship, surrounded by his friends who are all in couples. However, the award-winning 2018 West End revival chose to change the genders of some of the characters. The main character Robert became ‘Bobbie’ (although all of her love interests were gender-swapped as well). One of the originally M/F couples became an M/M couple. It opened on Broadway for about a week before the Covid outbreak so that will be one to look out for.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OtDK03y4gT0

In the Heights

A musical by Lin-Manuel Miranda about the Latin American community living in Washington Heights in New York. The original theatre production has no explicitly queer characters. However, in the upcoming movie version (that was meant to be released this summer but has been pushed back to next summer) it has been confirmed that the characters of Daniela and Carla (Daphne Rubin-Vega and Stephanie Beatriz) will be explicitly a couple.

I absolutely love this musical and the trailer for the movie looks beautiful check it out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0CL-ZSuCrQ

#mod a #musicals #theatre #lgbtq rep

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amycurtismarchlaurence · 4 years

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As Greta Gerwig’s phenomenal adaptation of Little Women has thrust the story back into the spotlight, I thought I’d talk about something I’ve seen quite a few posts about: Jo March’s gender expression and sexuality.

First, let’s deal with gender: Jo is one of the first and most iconic literary tomboys. Her “masculine” presentation was and is incredibly important for girls who don’t jive with the traditionally feminine expectations put upon them, especially because she is not forced out of her identity. By the end of the novel, although she has a family, which is something I’ll talk about in a minute, she is still fundamentally the same Jo she has been throughout. Her growth does not come at the cost of her “boyish” preferences.

However, there are endless ways to interpret any novel, and through a modern lens I believe it is easy to conclude that Jo was transgender. Before I continue, I’m not saying this interpretation is better than the one above! There is no “right” interpretation of any literature! The reason I’m making this post is because Jo March can be easily interpreted in many different ways, none of which are right or wrong! I honestly don’t have a set idea of which identities Jo embodies because each of them are so plausible to me. Also I’m still using she/her pronouns because that’s what she uses in the novel. Anyways, in the novel Jo often denounces “girly” things and dislikes spending time with Amy women other than her sisters and mother. In fact, Jo is, at least at first, very much of the “not like other girls” mentality. She grows from this, of course, and learns to respect more feminine pursuits through her sisters. This mindset could be indictable of her tomboy-ness and her desire for freedom; this is one of the main factors of her adamant refusal to marry. She often says she wishes she were a boy, which could be interpreted as longing for the freedom men have to live as they please. It could also be a young person in a time and situation where they do not have the experience to fully grasp their true identity. There have been many transgender people in history, so I’m not saying that the time period alone would have meant Jo would be unable to express it. Jo is able to express herself in a very masculine way and is supported by her loved ones, and she is content with this. If she were more like Amy, societal pressures might have led her to examine her gender identity, but Jo never cared much for society’s perceptions (unless those perceptions were of her writing). This is a whole bunch of word vomit and I’m not really coming to a point but yeah I think the idea of trans!Jo is cool and backed well by the text! (not that you need to be able to point to the text to say you think a character is *insert identity here* , I decide characters are bi all the time because I’m bi and I like them, I just think this is a really cool way of viewing gender and sexuality through classic literature!)

Also I just thought I should mention that Jo could absolutely be non-binary for pretty much the same reasons above! This is kind of what I meant by her being an easy character see as many different identities, Alcott doesn’t go too deep into her inner perceptions of gender, romance, or sexuality and the things we do know could go so many different ways!

Alright now that I babbled about trans!Jo for awhile its time to move on to her sexuality! I think the most popular sexuality for Jo on tumblr is lesbian. I think it’s easy to imagine a modern Jo referring to herself as butch, although obviously one does not need to ascribe to the butch or femme identities to be a lesbian. I feel like the evidence for this is pretty obvious: she doesn’t want to get married because the only option for marriage is a man, but she does want to be loved (I can’t remember if that speech or a version of it is in the book but ik she does say she’d say yes to Laurie if she asked again so if the speech isn’t in there the sentiment is), she doesn’t fit with society’s roles for women, and her marriage feels, to many fans, tacked on, because it was: Alcott’s punlishers forced her to give Jo a love interest, which Gerwig geniusly mirrors in her adaptation.

Another possible interpretation is aro ace Jo, mostly for similar reasons: she doesn’t want to marry and her marriage doesn’t feel genuine. Some may think this clashes for her desire for love mentioned above, but this could also be attributed to her having just lost her sister and her belief in her own talent while both of her remaining sisters are out of reach, Amy in Europe and Meg happily married with children. In fact, it’s possible that Jo attributes Meg’s easier time grieving Beth to her having a family to help her, which could be true, though it should be remembered that Jo and Beth had a unique and airtight bond. She also doesn’t include romance in her writing until she writes about her and her sisters’ story.

So yeah this post ended up way longer than I intended! Also if you headcanon Jo something not mentioned here I’m not saying that’s bad or uninteresting, this is just some stuff I had thought about! Feel free to add or discuss anything!

#little women bbc #wow this was long! sorry guys im just really passionate #little women #jo march #greta gerwig little women #greta gerwig #greta did such a phenomenal job with jo #and with the rest if the movie but this is a jo post #like having her and laurie share clothes? her mind!#also jacqueline durrans mind #gender #sexuality

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heeres-suffering · 4 years

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Be More Alluring: a Personality Swap AU

[pic description and source will be at the bottom of this post, under the read more]

Start of summary:

“You need to be more alluring.”

"... don’t you mean attractive?”

“I do not. Your attractiveness is adequate, Brooke; if you want to mask your apparently latent queerness, you have to make them want you straight. Isn’t that why your step-father defended you?”

Brooke Lohst is a loser.

But you know what? That was okay.

She always knew she was a weird one. The intensity of her affection for puppies, picture books, and near-constant daydreaming has lasted well-past a normalcy she can’t seem to grasp; when coupled with her inability to befriend anyone (besides the similarly self-identified loser Michael Mell), it’s not a surprise the rest of her peers have left her behind.

However, there were... ah, worse things in her life to worry about then some mild bullying. She liked her passion well enough, and all of her true insecurities went largely unnoticed, so any insults or weird looks rarely lingered in her mind. It’s not like she was a constant target either, which helped a lot. All in all, she just planned to hunker down, wait out the awkwardness of High School like everyone else, and move on to the rest of her life...

Except.

When Brooke develops a crush on a girl she’s never talked to, after years of avoiding fairy tale romance and trying not to think about the inevitability of marriage (or how finicky her attraction to boys is in the first place), it feels like her whole world is about to cave in. She’d do anything to make sure her parents, especially daddy, never find out... including buying an edible super computer from the loudest, tiniest guy in school.

End of summary.

Alright!

Hi, hello, it’s Mod Seb, and here’s an AU I’ve been rolling around for a few days! You are free to do with this concept whatever you want, but I wanted to introduce it with a good chunk of the info I’ve already worked out in my head.

So. As the CWs are... too numerous, I’m going to go with a blanket “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” label and encourage you not to read the rest of this if you have any big darkfic triggers that could be upset by mere mention; this isn’t a fic tho, so descriptions of anything awful won’t last long.

Although, I will mention upfront that Brooke isn’t a binary lesbian. I know the description might read like I’m setting her up to be 100% homosexual; she’s bi with a strong preference for girls, and anyone who presents soft enough in gender or appearance. If it wasn’t for the end-game pairings, her unfamiliarity with smaller details/history of the LGBTQ+ community, and general “gay newb” status, she’d likely ID as a bi lesbian!

(ships and everything else under the Read More)

Okay. That out of the way, there’s quite a number of pairings; I’m pretty sure it’s a super polyamorous and sexual AU, though you’re free to change this list as much as you’d like:

[bolded are end-game ships. italics physically hook up at least once. strike-through means they were in a relationship but break-up in some way before the ending. (H) stands for healthy, while (T) is toxic and/or noncon. underlined characters are pining for the other and may never confess their true feelings]

Brooke/Christine (H), Brooke/Rich (H), Brooke/Jenna (H), Brooke/Michael (H), Brooke/Chloe (T), Brooke/her Daddy (T), Brooke/Squip (H), Brooke/Jeremy (soft T at first bc of mirrored canon-compliant manipulation, H later on), Brooke/Squip/Jeremy (H), Brooke/Squip/Jeremy/Rich (H), Rich/Moses (H), [insert every form of Rich/Mo/Squip/Jeremy here] (H), Jeremy/Chloe (T), Jeremy/Michael (H), Michael/Christine (H), Michael/Christine/Mr. Heere (H; no, seriously), Madeline/Brooke (H)

This is, of course, a role swap AU where Brooke and Jeremy trade places based on my personal lore for their home lives. I always have some pretty fucked ideas as I don’t imagine MB is a great place with great adults, and I pick and choose which parts of canons I use and which I don’t.

There is no definite ending planned in mind as this isn’t an outline; it’s meta (or an imagine or w/e) for an AU that you’re free to do whatever with.

So,

The big difference is that Brooke was picked by Michael, while Jeremy was picked by Chloe. Jeremy is trans and hadn’t come out yet; if Chloe had known he was a boy, she wouldn’t have grabbed him. In contrast, Michael’s never gave a shit about potential friends genders.

Jer and B’s personalities... are altered some. Not ALL the way, but kiiinda fusing into their roles, kinda tweaked (I'll get back to that).

The main point of this for me was Brooke/Squip/Jeremy, with B/Jer having a MUCH stronger focus than in canon, and a really bad Chloe acting as one of the major villains.

Michael gets roped into Chloe’s shit, even tho he's still generally a good guy here, bc he's worried about B and thinks she can't properly take care of herself.

While B DOES have a strong crush on Christine, she’s the opposite of the Squip’s “goal”; that’s (obvs) masking, or making passably digestible, her queerness.

Her Mom and step-’Daddy’ have reacted to her friendship w/ ‘openly gay moms, also very flamboyant and GNC’ Michael... poorly.

Michael thinks the solution has to be “act as aggressively yourself as you can, and if they reject you, you know me and the mom’s have a space for you”. This works for him bc he’s permanently hyper-visible, what with all of his own marginalized identities. But, not only has she flied under the radar in comparison to him for years, he doesn’t know everything about her life.

In fact, he doesn’t know most of it. She’s very good at hiding things.

Meanwhile, Jeremy, one of the more popular ‘boy... ish’ (we’ll get to this, too) people in school, is mid-psychosis and self-destruction. He actually has schizo-affective disorder--as is the case with all of my versions of Jeremy--which he needs medication for. Combined that with so many bad influences and trauma, he can no longer fully control himself or his life.

The way he handles this (badly) is to ‘whore around’--which, besides being Chloe’s pet, is kinda why he’s so popular. Nobody respects him, but he’s viewed some form of favorably.

Jeremy is in a relationship with Rich, but he won't let him get as close/protective as Rich wants; Mo and Rich were doing their own man-whoring (but healthy, just droppin’ panties and making dudes and chicks swoon--yeah, Rich is out as bisexual, this is a very ‘the Squips are a good thing’ AU) to gain their standard reputation, but in the course of that, they got together with Jeremy and it became... complicated. Both of them are very "nnn" about how bad his life is for Jer.

The way that their personalities are altered is... okay. To explain this, I have to talk about my characterization of canon-Brooke and Jeremy in relation to this, starting with Brooke:

I imagine B as just a liiittle below the line of "all the way there" for sorta-similar reasons to Jeremy here: trauma, and Chloe (which is why that’s what Jeremy gets in this, it’s just WAY worse when compounded by everything else). She’s also--like me, and like almost every character I write as a result--autistic, in a near-permanent state of “not enough accommodations” and over-stimulation. This leads to a lot of dissociation and a very wandering mind, as well as being perceived as a bimbo or dumb blonde or w/e misogynistic bullshit is projected onto her by the boys she dates (she’s also much more down the middle bi outside this AU).

So, going back to how she is for this AU: she's actually not super nerdy, despite the close connection she and Michael have. Honestly, it’s their general neurodivergent weirdness that bring them together, and so she’s mostly adopted her nerdy interests through him, whether directly a thing he likes, or finding a whimsical variant that fits her tastes.

Obviously, unlike Jeremy, she doesn’t mind being called a loser. She does any insinuation she might be queer. This including anyone who calls her gay or a dyke.

She has too much Cis Male Trauma (unlike canon, where it comes from both cis angles) to really entertain the idea of a Traditionally Male Partner. This means she skews HEAVILY towards hard GNC guys at the very least, and generally finds herself most interested in the idea of enbies and women. she's also not super into butches tho, bc her trauma mixing with her sexuality has latched on to Strong Masc People Are A Threat.

An expansion on her interests, in canon and otherwise: animals, ASMR/sensual service work (including massages and stuff), spending hours just sorta sitting by herself and letting her imagination wander, fairy tales, and YA-and-under fantasy books.

(Here, she tries to avoid het or f/f romance... except that, this past year or two, she’s started really like m/m stuff--esp after getting REALLY into drag shows, which she could enjoy safely since girls like Chloe have gotten into them too; in canon, she’s a romance fanatic)

Now... this is one of the really darkfic element; she's fucking her step-dad.

She does this so that he doesn't walk out on her, her mom, and her little sister*. Her mom has a good-enough job as a standard office woman, but he makes enough to pay the rent on their nice townhouse and all the bills she can’t. So, after he expressed interest in Brooke and then casually mentioned he could always just leave if she wasn’t comfortable, she reluctantly entered a relationship with him

(* = her sister is currently know as her brother; he’s like 12 or 13, and started showing signs of trans/queerness which have been Heavily Discouraged. Brooke worries about him a lot)

((I didn’t use she/her pronouns bc I’m not entirely sure he would change them? This is an OC Oli created at the beginning of our interest in BMC, and we haven’t worked on him at all since, so how his characterization will be is up in the air))

Canonically, Brooke's "in love" with her daddy, which is a self-imposed delusion; if she actually addressed it, she’d says she’s well aware that’s not true, but it's so much easier to pretend when you’re cornered like that. Brooke’s life blows.

She’s a lot more honest to herself about hating him here; still, she tries to be as polite and generally-friendly as she can, doing what he says whenever he wants.

OKAY, THAT’S BROOKE. If any of that is badly described or potentially-offensive, it’s just bc I glossed over SO MUCH DETAIL, even in that amount of it!

So. Jeremy.

I don’t have to go over him much and we’re all mostly aware of how I feel about him and also I don’t have the energy to do this again--

(just... read my fics The Devil at your Door or hello yesterday or something... eyyy actually do that, my ao3 username is Sedusa, blah blah blah ANYWAY)

--but basically: He's still very nerdy, like, he’s super into film as well as video games (which is another constant for me), but after being largely ignored in elementary, he's been trailing behind Chloe at her orders since they were in 6th grade. As a result he isn't very open about... any of his interests.

In 7th grade, he came out as trans to everyone. Chloe was furious, but at the same time, intrigued; this was around the time Chloe gets her own... ah shit I gotta go into that too--

--yet another hc of mine is that Chloe gets a Squip on accident around this time at a party (there was one in a “”candy bowl””), and from there, she claws her way up the ladder. I... will not go into that much, but her Squip was crippled by the drugs and alcohol in her system, and therefore largely at her mercy. She’s used his power to manipulate certain things about herself and to sharpen her focus on popularity to the point she’s full-blown Alpha Bitch.

Man, I’ve had to go on so many tangents, I apologize.

Anyway, she drags Jeremy around as a punching bag. She constantly mocks Jeremy's transness, even though she usually calls him by his correct name and pronouns.

This has made the rest of the school follow her lead, hence why I said “boy-ish”; he’s popular, he’s technically ‘well liked’, but nobody really takes him seriously. This is compounded by Chloe’s refusal to let him dress in 'dorky' casual clothes, and, as he’s both too poor to afford designer clothes and also generally hates popular guy fashion, he has to wear the hyper femme clothing Chloe specifically tells him too/

As such, people call him a boy but largely see him as either an idiot, a slut, an attention seeker, or all of the above.

So of course, in Brooke's place, his neurodivergence is more prominent than ever; every day he slips further into this psychosis and self-infantilization haze, as his his mom leaving, his dad severely depressed, Chloe's sexual violence, and other repressed trauma (see: my fic hello yesterday on ao3) all weighing on him. This makes him INCREDIBLY regressed, like, all the time by Junior year.

And then Brooke's Squip (IE: canon Squip) falls in love with Jeremy extremely fucking hard. He pushes her to date him as a way to compromise on her queer desires, since Jeremy is technically a boy, and certainly a few other straight-ish girls have hooked up with him in the past.

WHEW. That is a fucking lot. To wrap this up, lemme go over the interpersonal relationships not already mentioned, and what directions I think it takes.

First off, Madeline has a more prominent role, as I quite like her tbh; she’s a sex worker, she has her own Squip, she’s one of Chloe’s most hated enemies, and she gravitates towards both Brooke and Jeremy. She’s also Actually French, Chloe’s just weird.

(Anyway she prolly sees through Brooke’s straight act and asks her why she’s pretending to be a good little cishet. It rattles Brooke.)

Chloe is scum. This bears repeating. She DEFINITELY rapes Brooke at the Halloween party, and becomes obsessed with her, along with already being obsessed with Jeremy and Jake.

Jake, by the way, has a lot of regressive behavior and impulsiveness bc he’s been in an abusive relationship off and on with Chloe for years now.

Speaking of Jake, moving on to his best bro: Rich doesn’t set himself on fire. He’s having a good time with his Squip.

But.

He IS set on fire at the Halloween party.

Instead of the Smartphone Hour being about Rich's instability, it's actually about the mystery of Someone Did It To Him But No One Saw Who It Was, They Were Disguised.

The answer relates to the fact that Rich and Brooke are ALSO hooking up, after she’s already with Jeremy, bc he Properly introduces her to him and the three of them hit it off really well.

(She initially wasn’t interested, but while Rich is loud and still kinda abrasive, his Squip doesn’t drive him to act like a bully--and in private, his nerdiness is really obvious and he’s extremely gentle with her and Jeremy. Add to that that he’s bi and trans*, when Brooke connects best w/ queer men over cishet one, and it off-sets his masc-ness enough to make him an Exception.

* = I always imagine him as trans. See: all of Vanceypants fics.)

Sooo... the culprit is actually Brooke's daddy, who sees her with this obvious heartthrob and Cannot let that be.

Chloe convinces Michael that the Squips are Very Very Bad and has him team up with her to force Brooke into drinking Red, with the intention to convince him to kill himself after to get him out of the way, bc she’s really going nuts at this point.

Eventually, he snaps out of it when he and Christine get together (he’s thought he was Full Homo all of his life, but Christine’s prolly genderqueer-ness makes him realize “oh shit, I’m bisexual”) and she starts to question why he’s acting the way he is towards Christine.

He also definitely has a crush on Jeremy and during his time with Chloe he kinda tried to flirt a little but couldn’t really... he’s not up for dating someone as sexually active and a push-over as Jeremy is in this.

However, when he snaps out of Chloe’s manipulation, he and Christine approach Mr. Heere to convince him to straighten up and help Jeremy and also bc they really need an adult to successfully fight Chloe.

This requires a month+ of Christine getting him to see her psychiatrist (the one who prescribes her ADHD meds). Jeremy spends the majority of his time staying with Chloe, and very rarely comes home to gather things or to make sure his dad is eating/still alive, as much as he can remember to in his own haze of mental illness. Anyway, point is, he doesn’t know Christine and Michael are there often... not that, in the course of growing close to Mr. H, they both fall for him hard and it becomes one of my stranger OT3s.

(God, Jeremy goes through a lot of shit in this, tho.)

Pre-Squip, Jenna was kinda-sorta Brooke’s friend--or, well, friendly. However, she’s actually full blown “oh my God she’s wonderful” in love with Brooke.

Brooke isn't aware of that, esp since Jenna tries her not to be around her a lot. She's also trying to hide her own queerness, bc she’s a trans woman and she knows Chloe finding that out would be extremely dangerous.

Eventually, Chloe succeeds in making Brooke take the Red months after canon usually ends, w/o Michael’s help. If you’re curious, Red doesn’t affect her normal Squip bc she’s had him too long and a lot of his receptors and stuff are damaged, so it’s the second one she gets in canon that turns off.

This plan backfires, however, as Brooke’s Squip comes back with a physical body w/ help from Rich and also-bodied-now Moses.

With a body, and shenanigans, Mo and Squip take out Brooke’s daddy too. His life insurance more than makes up for the loss of his income, as it’s a sizable amount. Now that Brooke feels more empowered and strong, she overrides her mother’s neglectfulness and takes control of the household w/ her boyfriends*, comes out as queer, helps her sister transition, and begin to heal from all of this trauma.

(* = Rich and Mo move in, as does Jeremy eventually, after graduation; Jeremy gets a psychiatrist and a therapist and prolly has to go through some intense outpatient care and possibly a stay in the hospital, before finally making major breakthroughs and looking like himself again. The five of them are now happy and in love.)

Chloe, after her arm gets twisted by the Squip’s protective presence so thoroughly, gives up on Jeremy and Brooke to focus on Jake. This too gets abandoned when Rich and Mo help him cut her off, and so she stays in her own popularity bubble, bitter, until graduating and going to a community college in a different state.

All in all, things work out well in the end, but getting there is a long, difficult process. This AU fascinates me immensely and feels like a great way to examine some of my really dark headcanons about MB, as I think it’s a town similar to Derry in Stephen King’s IT--as in, just chronically The Worst Place Ever, with this, like, miasma of low-key despair around it. People adjust and don’t question it, which is why so much of BMC is this flippant dark humor in the face of some highly questionable shit.

I’m so sorry this post is so long (I’ll be uploading it to AU under my usual Sedusa account, as metas like this are more than allowed), but I really adore these characters and the way they can be twisted around, so I had a lot to say!

Thank you for reading <3

-mod Seb

image description: virtual-like stairs pointed forward and bathed in neon yellow and blue to represent Brook and Jeremy, which I’ve modified from the original blue-only design.

source: x (link description: a free Wallpaper Flare image that I found off Google Image’s “filtered by ‘labeled and reuse with modification” feature)

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abbeyfangirl · 4 years

Text

dragon age: all characters (companions)

I’ve been in this fandom for a hot minute now and I want to update my opinions on characters :)

Origins

Alistair: super sweet dude who literally is not the stereotypicalchantryguyfightme. He’s a great example of healthy masculinity and I totally wish he was bi because I have an entire essay on that— also: he’s a poc! His mum was brown. In game he’s got dark features. if you really want a blond/blue-eyes/white guy, make your warden that. or accept that brown people can be noble and moral. or just draw cailan, idk. just because BioWare whitewashes doesn’t mean you should.

Leliana: someone hug my singing girlfriend before I crush her under with my own hugs. Also: nugs. Yes! Shoes. Yes! She likes how I style my hair? YES!! I honestly think she’s super duper and it pisses me off whenever someone’s like: yeah she enjoys killing people and the Game. ok. and michel de chevin willingly participated in genocidal marches through the alienage he grew up in with his elvhen mum.

Morrigan: dirty swamp witch that i stan and also have a v big crush on. tiddies. Have a son with a GW so we can raise him with our tiddies out in the forest. she’s also white-passing, as her father was chasind and all people we’ve seen that are chasind are black. therefore, she is biracial. therefore, poc can be goths and don’t shy away from giving morrigan a darker skintone. if the devs had of been thinking, she’d have a darker skintone.

Zevran: Actually is the best romance, I think. Loves consent, therefore I will stan him so hard my skull cracks a little. Also: he is a very brown boy and if he’s white in da4 I’m seriously going to throw all canon out the fucking window. genuinely a good person who needs to be told so.

Wynne: grandma who only likes my friends who go to church. but also super sweet and I’d rest my head on her bosom (in a platonic way omg ZEVRAN)

Sten: angry quiet boi. the bestest boi. I totally would give him a kitten for a gift and bake him cookies. Thicc softie. I think if I had DA:O and i knew how to use mods i would mod the fuck outta him. sorry.

Sha(y)le: who’s gender? idk her. See also: fuck birds and authority. pound ur ass into the ground you feathery meatbag little shits. fuck songbirds.

Dog: such a good boi. thicc. thinks Alistair is a whiny fuck and is Morrigan’s only friend. love him. he’s the cutest companion. bet.

Ohgren: honestly forgot about him bcc he’s such a shitbag. also: he could’ve been a really cool addiction recovery type but NOPE. probably would have a trump shirt in a modern au and would catcall wlw and hit mlm. no thanks.

Awakening

Anders: he acts like rlly straight but he’s so gay I can smell it. also he’s rlly cute and fun and I love him so much.

Justice: MAYBE i’M selF CONSCious OF THE twitchING. is the friend that genuinely doesn’t get dick jokes but is ur 110% ride or die.

Nathaniel Howe: honestly is sort of a white knight/neck beard a little, but it’s kind of charming with his whole velanna m’lady?? grump boi. annoying soul patch that I’d mod out SO FAST—

Sigrun: would have ROMANCED the FUCK out of her. why she even entertains the idea of fucking with ohgren makes me realize most of the writers are dumbfucks.png. peppy little emo. 12/10 would die if she kissed my cheek teasingly.

Ohgren: why. why. why. I’d have brought Shayle over. Maybe Zev? Definitely Dog.

Velanna: she was written to be an annoying feminist and you can tell but I deadass am a kindred spirit with her bcc I too am deadpan annoyed with Thedas’ general population too. love her. Would’ve loved to romance her. She’d totally be one of those who’d get all tsundere and be like “n-no i hate you” *kisses the fuckin soul out of you then blushes so hard she’s now a tomato*

Dragon Age II

Anders: fuck the cops. i don’t care. fuck the cops. (vine reference). also: do i hate him for blowing up the chantry that would eventually annul a huge collection of his people? no. read dalishious’s meta on Anders. v intriguing. didn’t they retcon the fuck out of the reported deaths too? like there was like eight Templars and Elthinia in there. Templars killed more “abominations” in a day than Anders in the game canon—

Aveline: initially thought she was fine and then realized she’s shit to my lil brother and I will fucking clap her ginger ass. See also: whorephobia isn’t a joke so fuck off with treating Isabela badly, you tit.

Bethany: sunshine. Literal sunshine. I feel my freckles grow in her presence and i love it. she’s my little baby sister and I’d slam that ogre so fuckin hard before it touched either twin.

Carver: there has to be a mod where both twins survive. I love them both to bits. My babies. carver is my bitter, angry little brother and I can relate because I too am very angry and would totally clap my own ass. hes so genuine and I don’t get the competition between Beth and Carver. Like, both are fuckin stellar in different ways. In this essay I will—

Fenris: honestly, I don’t get the general hate between him and Anders. Fenris’ main arc should’ve been a recovery arc, not drunken moping and revenge. he deserves better. give him a soft sweater instead of his spikes and let him love himself as much as I love him for MAKERS SAKE. like when you really think about their relationship, it could’ve been an eye-opener for fenris and finally some legit sympathy for anders. but we all know that if they had of teamed up that Meredith would’ve been dead before the end of Act 1 so.

Isabela: whorephobia is not a joke. oversexualizing your only appearing brown woman is so poorly written. how about we appreciate her and her lovely bosoms but also let people tease her about her heart of gold? her innate understanding of freedom? instead of just a wave of dick? please?? can we give her some pants for when she fights? can we accept that i fall for rogues who hate themselves?? fuck. also whomever draws her x femHawke x Merrill literally is after my own heart.

Merrill: my fucking babygirl MARRY ME. Fenris could’ve been her older brother type, but NO. she and Isabela should’ve been canonical gfs instead of Isabela/Fenris (no shaming the pairing tho!!). I love how she’s written as neurodivergent. V nice. Sometimes I just look her up and cry because she’s fucking everything. Also: she’s in the Dalish origin and she’s far from being white. Why did they make the most innocent/naïve character really white? hmmmm.

Sebastian: whew that boy. Would totally be that annoying Mormon at your door but you still let him in bcc he’s super sweet. Also: huge ass bible thumper and should get his head slap because you said the maker loved all his children why do you defend a complicit old hag you annoying attractive fuck—

Varric: totally is a bard and the devs couldn’t handle the idea of him being one bcc it might make him look less straight. is the only grey morality person I don’t want to fucking bash in with a fry pan. he sees people and I like that, but you totally know he’s siding with mages every time bcc him and Anders are like besties. I’m sorry. I don’t make the rules. “Professional Younger Brother”.

Tallis: I know nothing about her but she seems okay. I think she was an escaped slave and honestly? Fucking props. Spy on a shitting organization, idk what you’re doing, but your VA was that cool lesbian from SPN so I think ur okay?

Inquisition

Blackwall: Redemption Arc 101. Love him to bits. Sad dad bunwall. good man. actually atoned for his sins by actively becoming a good person. his initial design is 80% hotter im so sorry but so not.

Cassandra: was way browner in the last game. would romance the fuck outta her. I love me a butch lady who melts at my dorky recitation of poetry. BioWare is a coward. also is the worst choice for divine. but not a bad person. could use some more guidance or get her ass whipped by a dalish elf about religion or a circle mage kid whos like “yeah bud i didn’t ask for the templars to whip my ass everyday for existing.”

The Iron Bull: I think the Qunari/Vashoth were a little based off black people (the whole anti blackness thing where ppl are scared of them bcc of whatever reason) and it pisses me off that he had a weird ass dubcon thing with Dorian in banter. It doesn’t make sense— he’s an A+++ dom and would not jump straight in role play without at least checking in at first like wtf BioWare.

Cole: his mother was chasind so he’s like not supposed to be that white? or like biracial? albino? idk. love him to bits tho. He’s neurodivergent and I deadass love him. romancing him? idk. I see why ppl think it’s fuckin nasty but also like as a writer I’d age him the fuck up so fast before my inquisitor even THOUGHT about that. like idk. I’m down with him being a sweet little bro character tho. he’s a babe. love him.

Sera: had the worst fucking writer I’ve ever seen and I willingly read the twilight saga twice by a shit ass racist white lady who okay’d pedophilia. like. Fuck you Kristjanson suck your own dick you fuck. had the worst options in regards to speak to her. has a thicc case of internalized racism that literally most of the fandom just loves to use against her. my lesbian neurodivergent queen. Would write a thousand fix it fics for her. Love her to bits. im gay.

Varric: I haven’t played DA2 so i don’t get why everyone wants to romance him but like. a dwarf romance? yes please. Idk he reminds me of my uncle so I only see him as fun uncle material. Deadass should adopt Cole and Merrill and co parent with Blackwall for Sera. dads? fuck yeah. love me some wholesome, present fathers.

Dorian: is a gay stereotype that I love/hate so much. and he’s also just as bad about being a creep bcc he sexualizes qunari men (in banter). I attribute that to shit writing tho. I want to protect him from all the “omg gay best friend!” people. he’d clearly be that tired gay that wouldn’t give a diddly damn about ur het romance. wanna talk about politics? he’s ur guy/gay.

Solas: “me, an intellectual:”. I don’t hate him, but I’m not about him. He comes off as mysterious and suave (which he totally is) but I deadass would not save him from himself because he’s a racist, exclusionist eggshell. idk. not my cup of tea, but I can totally see the appeal. And he’s interesting, I’ll totally say that. “I think the Dalish are garbage but they made you” is not a compliment. it’s so offensive. and such bait for “quirky girls” which I’m no fan of. Would be Achilles and let Patroclus (Lavellan in his case) die before he realized how his pride is literally a waste of time. If he gets a redemption arc I hope Lavellan gets to slap him before getting him to teach all about ancient Arlathan and show that the Evanuris weren’t all total dicknozzles. (Aka I really have a hard time believing that they’d be slavery cult things. especially since they’ve compared elves to indigenous ppl, Jews and the Romani.)

Vivienne: it’s so racist that they’d make a black woman be pro-slavery. That’s such internalized racism. She could’ve been the cool ass “educate yourself first before you speak, fool” ice lady, but NO. the devs could’ve kept the “Templars are a tool that I proudly can mandate” and the “circles are very good education” and we. Could. Have. Romanced. Her. Like. Fuck. Sake. I just wanna give her a hug and say “love yourself omg!!” and not even in a romantic way. Also: she and morrigan should not have been so antagonistic towards each other. I’d expect them to have great respect for each other, as they both moved up in the world through hardwork and very little help. They could learn different magic from each other too and still maintain that rival respect “oh you” mood. Sidenote: probably the cooler option for Divine. if her approval is high enough she’ll love and be loyal to you forever and i can’t see her agenda being bad. she improves the circles exponentially and tells all the antis to suck her pretty painted toes.

Josephine: an actual disney princess. romanced her my first playthrough. I love her so much. she just makes me so happy. And she’s like: “Integrity, Loyalty, peace. That is what it means to be a GREY WARDEN good fucking person.” she’s the person who would let you hold her hand if you got anxious and she’d be that person who shouldered the whole group project with finesse and poise and would probably lie for everyone as to not be mean. i love josie. her and leliana’s relationship is so cute, too. whether it’s romantic or not: women supporting women.

Leliana: if you leave her hardened you must hate her. why. she becomes so against herself. i like how shes feminine and lighthearted because that’s so powerful-- to remain hopeful when the world is hopeless. (its hard to know when to soften her/harden her so i get it but. google it. she deserves to be happy and sweet again.)

Cullen: uwu war criminal with shit ass “redemption arc” that was actually a half-assed (at BEST) recovery arc. Recovery isn’t linear, it isn’t pretty, and even the broken need to be told they are wrong in order to heal right. Like I’m offended by that bullshit. I’ve had to do some mental health recovery in the past and unlearning lots of toxic ideologies— which I’m still unlearning— and it bothers me that he gets an easy pass because he’s hot. It’s one thing if you like Cullen, it’s another thing if you hold him accountable.

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ajora · 4 years

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I never played ff5 but ngl I kind of want you to answer ALL the questions on that meme because I like hearing your thoughts about it. (and faris for the character part, because hm. yes. butch lesbian pirate. I can dig this. and your otp for the ship part, obviously.)

Oh boy, settle in because this’ll be looong.

So, for everyone else: warning: this talks about being nb/butch, a taboo ship, and spoilers for FF5.

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character: Toss-up between Faris and Lenna.

Least Favorite character: I don’t actually hate him because his recurring crossover character status is hilarious and he’s got great theme music, but, Gilgamesh. His final words to Faris ( 恋でもして　ちったあ　女らしくなりな | essentially: go fall in love, then you’ll become more feminine) always rubbed me wrong. The love that defines her is the love she has for Lenna, even if you don’t interpret it as romantic love, and her love should never force her to become what she’s not.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Honestly, just Faris/Lenna. I’m chill with other people shipping other ships, but farilenna is my forever ship.

Character I find most attractive: I overrelate to Faris and Lenna is exactly my type. Gosh, but her squeak in DFFOO is adorable.

Character I would marry: I mean, I have a girlfriend I intend to marry, but Lenna would be a nice second option.

Character I would be best friends with: I’d probably get along with all of them, but realistically Butz is just the kind of no-commitment, independent friend I get along best with

a random thought: After the DFFOO event with Butz giving everything that makes him him to his dark world clone, I unironically want to redraw a SUF screenshot with someone taking Connie’s place to say that the only one who hasn’t had Steven Butz is Steven Butz. Largely because Butz shunts his personal feelings to the side to be the supportive friend and teen girl escort everyone needs.

An unpopular opinion: The GBA localization is great, but it’s not an accurate translation and sacrifices accuracy for the lulz. Which is fine!

My Canon OTP: I’mma reach and say Amano drew my otp holding each other on official art that got plastered everywhere in Japanese GBA-release media, so that totes counts as official, right? It’s the same argument the Butz/Lenna shippers used back in the day. (I even have this art in poster form)

My Non-canon OTP: Because FF5 has no actual endgame ships, obviously my otp.

Most Badass Character: Look, Faris dove into a dragon-generated whirlpool that could have killed her to save her crew when she was 15. She fell off a cliff and crawled back up for Lenna. Faris, hands down.

Most Epic Villain: tbh the most epic villain was one who wasn’t in the game until he became an optional boss added in the GBA revamp: Enuo. He might not have been in the game’s present, but his shadow loomed large 1000 years after his death/sealing away.

Pairing I am not a fan of: Not personally a fan of shipping Butz with any of the girls, largely because he’s shaped like a friend and has been a fantastic friend to all of them, and FF5 really isn’t a romance. I’m absolutely happy to ship him with Squall in the Dissidias though. Butz/Squall is my otp for him.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Eh, I feel like the ending sequence for Faris could have focused less on her being a woman and more on her actual acts of courage. Courage being her whole damn thing and defining trait and all.

Favourite Friendship: Faris and Syldra. Gosh, but all the Japanese texts on them makes me mourn Syldra’s death even harder.

Character I most identify with: Faris bc butch/nonbinary reasons and huge issues with being shoehorned into one gender (male) but not really feeling it (Faris does, in Japanese at least, identify as a woman; direct translation by me: “don’t treat me like a fool because I’m a woman”) and also not wanting to 100% be compliant with femininity.

Character I wish I could be: Look, who doesn’t want to be a pirate.

002 | Send me a ship and I will tell you:

When I started shipping them: 1997 baby. It’s been years and while I flitted out of FF5 fandom in the 2000s up til I returned now, I never stopped loving my ship

My thoughts: Yeah, the sibling incest complicates things, but also? They were separated very young, didn’t grow up together, and didn’t meet again until adulthood. There’s no actual power imbalance there. Even with respect to social status. Like, yes Lenna’s in line to be queen, but does anyone really think she’d abuse her position for anything? She adores Faris. Faris will destroy everyone in this room and then herself if anything happened to Lenna.

What makes me happy about them: Oh, gosh, they are so good together. Also? I adore how muddled up they are together. Lenna is the Light Warrior of Water, her defining trait being conscientious kindness. Faris is the Light Warrior of Fire, her defining trait being courage. But Lenna will absolutely kill that dragon if she has to. She’ll hare off into the unknown with only a knife to find her father. She’ll trudge through poison to save that dragon she was gonna kill. Her sky dragon turns into a phoenix. She’s the spirit of Water, but everything about her screams Fire. Conversely, Faris is bonded to a sea dragon, nearly drowned twice that we know of, and over the course of the game she does become a kinder person than she was. She’s the spirit of Fire, and yeah she does have courage aplenty, but she’s so inextricably bound to water that her skills in DFFOO are water-related.

What makes me sad about them: That they could never be together openly. Also? That modern/post-GBA fandom will absolutely shit on the ship’s fans. You’ve seen me talk in Discord about the hate I run across often enough. And it’s absolutely wild to me because I’ve been here since 1997, I’ve heard all the jokes about Faris/Lenna back then, and no one threw a fit about it like they do now. Nevar 4get the off-color FWAKs that were common back in the day.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: Mostly just... treating the girls as Butz’s personal harem. And this is a small thing, at least.

Things I look for in fanfic: Anything with my ship. Alternatively, anything where at least Faris isn’t straight.

My wishlist: God I just want to talk to fellow Faris/Lenna shippers! And if I have to improve my translating-to-Japanese skills for it, I will. Also, I wanna get involved in a Faris/Lenna doujinshi someday. Or an anthology!

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: their dragons

My happily ever after for them: A cottage by the sea, all regal responsibilities forgotten, with new dragon companions because theirs died over the course of the game and Highwinds must have dragons.

003 | Give me a character & I will tell you:

How I feel about this character: Superb. Fantastic. When I was a young butch in the closet with only Oscar to look up to, Faris stormed onto the scene with all her flaws and character development and a dragon friend! and yes, I dig this. Still favorite, though Lenna unseats her ever so often.

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Lenna. That’s it, really. World of Final Fantasy floated the idea of Quistis/Faris, but didn’t provide a lot to go on.

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: Syldra! Although I have been known to ship her with Syldra too, back in the day.

My unpopular opinion about this character: Faris is a very, very Asian trope character, her roots being in Oscar of Rose of Versailles, Takarazuka, and East Asian legends and histories of crossdressing women. I just feel really uncomfortable when white people, especially white cis people, ignore that, ignore that she herself says that she’s a woman, and insist that she’s a trans man.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I do wish the epilogue slideshow focused more on her deeds than on her feeling uncomfortable complying with traditional femininity.

Favorite friendship for this character: Syldra!

My crossover ship: Faris and Quistis becoming friends in WoFF after Quistis challenged her to a fistfight is just so Faris that I’d love to see fics exploring that.

#replies #jaspurr

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sage-nebula · 5 years

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15, 25, and/or 32?

15.) Have you ever “shipped at first sight”?

Mmm, I don’t think so? I usually have to see a bit of interaction first. I think the closest I’ve come is Marinette/Luka, because I started shipping them as soon as I saw them ice skating in “Frozer” (I saw “Frozer” before I saw “Captain Hardrock” --- but I’m pretty sure that I would have shipped them straight from their first meeting in “Captain Hardrock” had I seen that episode first). If there were other ones beside that one, I can’t think of them right now.

25.) Have you ever shipped a pairing before you even started watching the show/movie simply because of gifs and graphics or similar?

Korra/Asami from Legend of Korra, and I still haven’t actually watched that, haha. But the Korrasami gifs I saw on my dash before the show even ended made it so that when the show did end and they were canon, I wasn’t even surprised (in the “this makes total sense” kind of way). Similarly, I ship Marceline/Princess Bubblegum from Adventure Time even though I haven’t watched that, either, and Finn/Rey from Star Wars even though, again, I don’t watch those movies.

32.) Share five must-read fics.

Hmm, let’s see . . .

The Legend of Zelda: The Return by Rose Zemlya. This fic was first posted back in 2001, and as such the writing quality of the early chapters especially is not to the standard that Rose has now (which is beyond incredible, absolutely amazing), but the story itself is still absolutely fantastic. When I first discovered it all those years ago, I remember pulling all-nighters to read it. I don’t think you have to have actually played The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time to understand this fic, so I really recommend it to everyone. Note that it’s not exactly a ship fic, although there are some romances in there. The primary focus is on the adventure, though (and, imo, the familial relationships Link has / gains).Oh, and for the summary: This fic takes place after Zelda sends Link back in time at the end of the original game, assuming he lost all his memories when he went back. He grew up as a normal boy (mostly), living with the owner of the archery shop in Castletown, but as always, evil is not content to wait for long. There’s much, much more to it than that, and I heartily recommend it. I can tell you right now that a lot of my headcanons about how the Sheikah and Gerudo operate exist as a direct result of what Rose came up with in her universe here. This is a completed fic.

The Legend of Zelda: Reconciliation by Rose Zemlya. The sequel to The Return, taking place three years later. It’s a loose (quite loose) adaptation of A Link to the Past, but you don’t need to have played that one to understand this fic, either (though I would strongly recommend reading The Return first). The writing quality in this one, particularly in the most recent chapters, is absolutely fantastic. This story is quite a bit darker than The Return, with some certified heartbreak (especially later on), so be prepared for that. Also be prepared for the fact that Rose has not updated this fic since 2014. She is still working on it, and each chapter is beyond worth the wait, but . . . again, it’s been five years and counting. So start reading at your own risk. Like its predecessor, Reconciliation is more about the adventure than the romance, but there are still romances entwined in there.

More Than Human by SBJ. This one actually is a romance fic, although like all good stories, there’s also a lot more going on than just the romance. This is a Powerpuff Girls fanfiction, with the primary ships being Blossom/Brick, Buttercup/Butch, and Bubbles/Boomer. It takes place while the Powerpuffs and Rowdyruffs are in high school, and I know that highschool AUs are typically godawful terrible (and so does SBJ---she acknowledges that in the summary!), but this one is actually pretty fantastic. As I said, there’s a lot more going on than just the romances, with a villain that you might not see coming, and though SBJ doesn’t delve too heavily into description, she gives enough to keep the prose flowing at a quick pace. This fic is also not completed and updates are unpredictable, but we have at least received an update in the past year, in June, so that’s at least less scary looking than Rose’s latest update on Reconciliation.

Phantom by PinkFalcon. This is a Pokémon fic, and specifically a PokéAni fic, and even more than that is a Phantom of the Opera AU. What makes this AU fantastic (apart from the A+ writing quality) is the fact that it doesn’t just take the PokéAni characters and drop them in an opera house. Instead, it blends the two universes, so that it’s a battling school rather than an opera house, a Battle Ghost haunting Arena Five instead of a phantom haunting Box Five, and so on. The primary ship is Ash/Misty, though there is some Misty/Rudi as well (and Rudi is treated respectively, no worries there). The only bad thing about this fic is that it isn’t completed, either, and hasn’t been updated in . . . a very long time. I’m not exactly sure of when the last update was, since the last “update” we got wasn’t an update at all, but was an author’s note saying the story wasn’t abandoned. That was last year. So who knows when this will be updated, if ever, but the chapters that are there are still worth it.

And On the Third Day by MerryArwen. This is a Harry Potter fic set immediately after the seventh book (the proper seventh book, not that awful epilogue), and is a Harry/Ron/Hermione fic, quite honestly the best I’ve ever read. All of the characterization is 100% on point, the writing quality is fantastic, and I really can’t recommend it enough. As a bonus, this is a completed fic.

#ship meme #Anonymous

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missolitude · 5 years

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hi! so it seems that i’m highkey stanning patricia clarkson and i was wondering if you had any movie/show recommendations with her in them? (i’ve only seen lars & the real girl, sharp objects, and easy a oop)

Heyia! I happen to be a highkey Patricia stan too and I’m always happy to talk about her so you’ve come to the right woman 😁😘

These are some of my faves, Sharp Objects in particular! If you enjoyed her character and are curious to know more about her I absolutely recommend reading the book by Gillian Flynn as well. I feel like the show adaptation made some unnecessary changes and left some really relevant parts out, presumably because they wouldn’t translate well on screen. There is a lot more to Adora and her background than the show reveals.

As for recommendations (descriptions all spoiler free of course):

Cairo Time: A beautiful, enchanting (and nonetheless unconventional) romance that pulls at the heartstrings. Patricia’s charismatic aura and her character carry the movie every step of the way. Her performance is captivating and tantalizing and it will forever stay with me.

Learning to Drive: A movie about love and friendship, and how two people that, at first glance, have nothing in common but end up enriching each other’s lives in the most unpredictable of ways. It is very moving and touching, a totally rare gem and again, unconventional.

Elegy: The main story might interest you or not, but I’ve enjoyed this movie long before I’ve stanned Patricia because it has such a beautiful love story at its center. Patricia only has a couple of small but meaningful appearances in it but her role is extremely saucy and unconventionally sexual and she has some very hot scenes in it.

Out of Blue: The most recent of her films. It might be your cup of tea, might not. Patricia plays a detective that must solve a murder case. This is compelling for a number of reasons: Her character is queer coded, she has one sapphic scene in it, and she almost gives me soft butch vibes in this. Apart from this, Patricia carries the entire movie completely alone, personally I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. The movie is very mysterious and slowly unfolds and always keeps you guessing. If you found any of this interesting please give it a watch.

Jonathan: A sci fi movie with a really cool concept and a brilliant execution. A boy called Jonathan goes to bed every night. Every morning he wakes up and there is a breakfast prepared for him along with a video telling him about the second part of his day. Does that sound intriguing to you? Please check it out, it’s as interesting as it sounds. Patricia has some minor but meaningful appearances and they get more and more frequent as the movie unfolds.

Delirium: It was the movie that originally made me research about her. It’s a very well executed horror thriller but not the overly scary variety. It’s very psychological and character driven and there are a couple of really cool twists. Honestly check out that movie it’s so underrated. Patricia’s role is extremely badass and she only has a couple of minor appearances but they were oh so worth it.

The Party: Basically it’s a movie that more or less resembles a theatre piece, a couple of people, who all have their own problems, come together one evening and drama unfolds. Patricia looks like a Hollywood Goddess all the way through it and has the most sardonic and witty lines. And there’s an age gap lesbian relationship with Cherry Jones and Emily Mortimer, just to mention that as well. Not overly brilliant but it happened.

House of Cards: Now this is a problematic show that will leave you broken hearted at the end, because they did Patricia’s character so dirty and in the last season the writing is abhorrent. But I truly enjoyed it up to that point! If you just wanna watch it for Patricia’s scenes it is worth it. (Her first appearance is S5 Ep8) If you are a completionist like me you can watch the show from the beginning for more context because the writing is complex, but you don’t have to. Jane Davis is one of the most intriguing, multi-faceted roles she has ever played and there is a lot of sapphic tension going on. It often left me baffled to the point where I needed to rewind just because I couldn’t believe that these things actually happened. So it is more than worth it, just brace yourself for a broken heart.

These are the main recommendations that I would give to anyone who wants to watch the crème de la crème of her filmography.

Memorable mentions: Shutter Island, because the movie is brilliant but her tiny appearance is barely worth the mention. The Green Mile: again, a classic but don’t watch it just for Patricia. Her appearances are very memorable and emotional and she’s exceptional but they are short. The Station Agent: She is adorable in it and she has the lead! Really a classic and a fave of mine. October Gale: A really cool movie and she was badass in it, she also said in an interview that she worked out for that one and it shows! Last Weekend: Loved her performance more than the movie itself but her character is dear to my heart. Parcs and Recreation: She has two tiny but memorable and hilarious appearances, extremely lighthearted and funny. It’s Getting Late: It’s just a short movie and it’s basically just eye candy but she looks ICONIC in it and she also has a couple of scenes were she looks at a lady in the not so straight way. High Art: Patricia plays a German lesbian heroin addict, and she has some saucy sapphic make out sessions. It was the movie that eventually led to her career break through because the role was so unlike anything she had ever played before. She often mentions this role to this day and I think it’s worth knowing and watching.

There ya go! I hope this was some help to you and that you’ll enjoy the movies 😁💞💞

#missolitude replies #patricia clarkson #dobbypussssyindulgence

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lilacsolanum · 5 years

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Who was your Shepard? What ending did they choose? Did it remind you much of the end of Animorphs?

Did you just– did you just give me an excuse to rant about my Mass Effect experience? WELL THANK YOU!

My Shepard was a fierce dark skinned woman with a penchant for a heavy eyeliner and a dark lip. She originally had a stern bun but I DID give her a haircut between ME2 and ME3 for the drama and she had a buzzcut. She ran around in a hoodie 24/7 and was my butch qween. I named her Ms Nesbit in ME1, but ME1 didn’t understand the space so she ended up being Ms Shepard which honestly was ideal. She was from the tragic Midnoir, and had the “soul survivor” psychological profile. I was absolutely role-playing her, giving her a strong “bright clear line” ruthless and practical moral code. She had. SO many renegade points. It was mostly a renegade play through, but I was always bros with my crew. Well. The crew members I liked. I killed someone on purpose in the suicide mission like. Bye.

I played these games blind and it was the best, not knowing how my choices would play out, not knowing what was coming next.

When I played the ending it was, like, 4 AM and I just wanted to be done so I could focus on writing and not be haunted by my love of this great video game I wanted to play all the time. So like. I wasn’t comprehending anything really, and Shepard was moving SO slowly, and I just went toward the pillar because it was shiny. TECHNICALLY I chose Synthesis, which was the cheesiest and worst ending.

I WANTED to choose Destroy, and would have if I was less of a sleepy bitch. Destroy was what we set out to do, and I don’t think the consequences of the literal universe existing beyond “the cycle” were going to be THAT bad. The Geth chilled out. Everyone calm down. Let’s rebuild.

Because I played a “war is hell, bright clear line” Shepard, the ending with her death DID feel right to me. It WAS very Animorphs-ish. Not everyone makes it out of war. Not everyone survives. But I understand why people hated it, especially if you played paragon. Like I told someone else, then the ending of ME is like if Sailor Moon ended with the gruesome death of Sailor Moon. Really, the thing that reminded me the most of Animorphs was the Krogans.

I wrote out, like, my entire play through under the cut because I was feeling myself and because I have SO MUCH TO SAY and played this video game like ten years after it came out so I only had one other person screaming with me. I (somewhat) restrained my boundless energy on their behalf. Cav is a patient soul.

In ME1, I killed the Rachni queen, because even if she was serving me some buckwild nonsense about songs and the general plot of Ender’s Game I was like bye gurl bye, your race died. It’s dead. It’s far too traumatizing for too many people to bring y'all back. Also, you are litterly a giant spider, absolutely not, no no, do not want, please leave.

I primarily ran Wrex and Kaidan because I very much enjoyed Kaidan’s idealistic banter where he’s just impressed with literally everything and then checking in on Wrex who was just bitter and full of hate. Wrex became my favorite character. I LIVE for a grumpy old man. I got his family armor and managed to chill him out on Virmire on the first choice, which was AMAZING, because I later looked up the other outcomes and found out Ashley would kill him and I would have been TRAUMATIZED. I zoomed in on Ashley being a racist and peaced her out, keeping my boy Kaidan around for another two games.

I accidentally romanced Liara even if I wanted to romance Kaidan, but I WAS flirting with them both for a bit (though I ultimately didn’t get the scene where they both confront me). I also slept with that random Asari lady.

I chose to kill the council in the end. It was the better choice for humanity. We needed to do something big to prove that we’re here, we’re not going away, and we’re just as important as the rest of you.

ME2 is just like Making Friends: The Video Game. Which was honestly so fun, I loved that it was an entire game devoted to character storytelling? I let Garrus break a dude’s legs, but I did not let him kill that man, even if I let him kill the guy in ME1. It honestly felt like letting that dude live was shittier. I killed the heretic Geth because, like, they’re machines, they’ve already been possessed by Reapers, they’re fine. I understand that Legion was doing it’s whole Breq thing but most Geth are just part of a whole. I was fine with it. I had enough Renegade points when I did Tali’s mission to allow her to be proven innocent without revealing her father’s treason, which I’m super glad I did because of it’s effects on ME3. The rest of the missions I basically just went renegade for the points. I loooved Thane, Miranda, and Grunt, fell deeper in love with Garrus and Tali, didn’t spend enough time with Legion but again, I saw the whole individual sentience storyline unfolding and appreciated it, Jack I liked ironically because Oh Boy Everything About Her (LOVED her in ME3 though), and Samara and Jacob were THUMBS DOWN.

And then Mordin. Holy shit. What an amazing character. First of all, he’s the best, second of all, he busts out in a musical number, third of all, his mission is SO BEAUTIFUL AND COMPLEX. But. I ended up destroying both Maelon’s data and Maelon himself.

The genophage was population control, not genocide, and while it’s a harsh method it was the kindest solution at the time. The Krogan really remind me of the Yeerks, actually. When it was pointed out that they were given technology before they had culture, I was like, yes, YES, my favorite children’s books series addressed this SAME THING! And like Yeerks, absolutely, I recognize that some Krogans were good, that they didn’t have the same bloodthirst as others, that they saw a better future. Wrex was one of those Krogans. Wrex had power. But was that enough power? How very easy would it be for a rogue group of Krogans to hide away, procreate, get strong, and go to war with the Urdnots. How very easy would it be to destroy the efforts of one man. It was idealistic to think that just because Wrex had influence, that the entirity of the Krogan race could be changed. Ms Shepard made a hard choice, but she did what she had to do.

Also, my renegade zombie face was fucking hilarious, the drama, the theatrics. When I came back from some mission with red eyes I laughed so much. What a choice. What an amazing choice Bioware made with that. I probed the planets and fixed my busted mug, but not after enjoying my glowing scars and bags under my eyes for a MINUTE.

I two timed Garrus and Thane for a minute, but ultimately I went with Garrus, because I texted my BFF, a normal person who does not write or read about alien fucking, with a photo of the two and he immediately replied with “zaddy with the scope for sure” and it was decided. Thane did call me sita for a hot minute and it was very very sweet. Oh and you knoooooow I flirted with Kelly Chambers HARD.

I played the suicide mission blind and I have this weird habit of overestimating video games when they are CLEARLY telling me what to do and trying to outsmart them, so I somehow lost Thane, Garrus, and Mordin. I broke my rule about not going back on any choice and replayed it to save everyone’s asses, except for Jacob Taylor, who I killed on purpose. No regrets.

And then shit went DOOOOOOOOWN in ME3.

First of all, fuck EDI’s robot body. I was already shipping her with Joker and in no way did they need a physical form, it’s called IMAGINATION. I might write a fic where EDI as a ship’s AI instructs Joker on how to get himself off, Dom style. *I* know how to write an AI/human romance without a robot that has FUCKING HIGH HEELS??? No. Nope. Also, why the hell does literally every male squadmate have to call her hot. What was the point. WHAT WAS THE REASON. WHAT WAS THE REASON BITCH.

I immediately went to deal with the Krogan genophage because I knew some shit was about to go on. This whole thing ended up being maybe one of my absolute favorite story experiences, ever.

It starts happening. Wrex rolls up. He is PISSED at me. He is saying he wished he killed me in Virmire, the first time I blocked a genophage cure. It’s heartbreaking. I loved him so much, and he’s SO ANGRY, and he has every right to be.

Mordin starts his research. Eve is there, she’s fucking ICONIC, her and her 50-year-old diner waitress smoker voice. Poor unfortunate goddamn soul, YES. I love her. But I also doomed her by destroying Maelon’s data.

Then the Salarian talks to me. And I know I’ve chosen this stance for Ms Shepard and that I’m not going back on it. When she says “You stop Mordin from spreading the cure, no matter what” I already knew what was going to happen. It’d been spoiled for his death, yes, but damn. The way it went down.

The first thing that happened that made me go “holy shit” was when we were all flying toward Tuchanka and I had an option to tell everyone about the sabotage. I actually took it. Even if I had this storyline, I had this moment of like, okay, I love these characters, I love Mordin and he’s so happy to redeem himself, I have to tell my friends about what the Salarian wants to do. And I chose that option AND I AM INTERRUPTED AND DON’T GET THE WORDS OUT. I mean WHAT a fucking amazing detail. When the option came back again, to lie to my friends or tell them the truth, I lied.

Watching to confrontation go down with Mordin just destroyed me. The voice actors killed it. I told Maelon about the sabotage. It was so fucking emotional. “I MADE A MISTAKE! I made a mistake. I focused on the big picture. Big picture made of little pictures.” Just. Holy shit. And I knew what was about to happen and what I would have to do, and even if it was a video game, I was IN IT. It was the fact that the renegade interrupt was in slow motion that absolutely got me. That there was extra time to think about it, to let him go. I closed my eyes and hit my mouse trigger and Shepard shot Mordin. The way she walked off and threw her gun to the side was devastating. And then the game made me watch Mordin drag his dying body across the tower to try and get to the controls, saying, “Not yet, not ready, not ready,” which was honestly very rude. And then the cutscene where Wrex looked out on his planet, joy and awe on his face, that was also incredibly rude.

I later watched the paragon version and just. “I’m the very model of a-” SUPER. RUDE.

I knew doing all this meant I would also have to kill Wrex. That wasn’t a spoiler, that’s just logic. So one day I go to the Citadel, lalala, fetch quest fetch quest fetch quest, and then I go back to my ship and BAM. Wrex. How fucking brilliant. There is no moment around his confrontation, no visit to Tuchanka. It hits you when you’re completely off guard. He also called me out on not doing the “Bomb on Tuchanka” mission because I did things out of order. Found Grunt, go cure genophage. I shot Wrex. Bailey would have, but it was my responsibility.

Later, Garrus called me out on everything during his “tough call” scene. I told him what I did. The way he then asks, “Did Mordin just go along with it?” and Shepard just walks off was so good.

So.

All of Legions missions were SO cool. I’m learning I have such a weakness for robots/AIs and sentience. “Do these units have a soul?” Also it’s little inner brain Tron world was great, and how the Geth remember the Quarians who were kind was just beautiful. When it came time to choose between the Geth and the Quarians, I was able to save both. Even if that wasn’t the most renegade-y choice, it came from my original mission statement: bright, clear line. Both forces living meant both forces could fight. The rest of my “storyline” was so super dark that this moment felt really triumphant it my little role play? It reminded me of The Doctor saying “This time, everybody lives!”

The rest of the game was just “How many people can Liana kill?”

When Thane died, he called me sita one more time, even if I didn’t commit to him, and it BROKE MY FUCKING HEART. What a great detail to bring back one last time. When Bioware is on, it is ON.

When Samara held a gun to her head I was just like “See ya later alligator.” What a boring character. btw, the whole Morinth thing could have been SO cool but ended up so lame. I didn’t have enough renegade points to get her and I don’t even care. Bye. I didn’t give Miranda Alliance support so SHE died. That was sad. Grunt survived because my baby boy was loyal, but he might have died since I didn’t deal with the bomb. I was supposed to get a poorly spelled message from him according to the internet, and I never did, so uhhhh oops. Sorry, my son. Kaidan didn’t die during his little freak out because we were besties.

When Liara asked me if we were still dating, I said yes, then I immediately went to Garrus and he asked me if we were still dating and I ALSO said yes, then I flirted with James Vega and Samantha Traynor a lot. Eventually, during Garrus’s personal quest, he asked me if I was ready to be a one Turian kind of woman. I said no and he took the rejection well. Then I went to see Kaidan, and he told me he had feelings, and I locked in with him. I love the idea of Kaidan, who is kind of sheltered and idealistic, attempting to protect and soothe this war torn woman, while accepting the darkness of war himself and questioning his place in it. I loved the idea of us breaking apart, but brief grounded moments with one another. Plus Garrus never even seemed THAT into me, like, yeah you’re awkward bro but idk give me a cute nickname or SOMETHING, and Liara was boring. Liara was SO PISSED AT ME LMAOOO she used A Tone when I would go visit her in her little office and like stopped talking to me. It was hilarious.

I can’t remember if anything else super relavant happed in ME3. I hated Cortez’s “bury your gays” storyline. Gays can do more than be sad. Samantha Traynor was such an afterthought. I still don’t understand why a femShep couldn’t romance Jack, who is canonically bisexual, and I wish that was an option in ME3. I love that Kaidan came back bisexual, like he was just on his little Barbarella journey. What happeneds on Horizon, stays in Horizon.

I have written too much that no one, if anyone, will read, and I must sleep now before I chose the Symbosis ending again.

#zarohk

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republictrooper · 5 years

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So Bioware came out with its ever-so-often “we didnt completely abandon Mass Effect, I promise” thing, and it’s gotten me thinking. If we got more Mass Effect, what would I want? I know in part what I probably don’t want. 1. No Prequels. Stop the Prequels. We do not need to know what happened as much as we need to know what happens. Even if you liked the ME3 ending (I didn’t), it leaves so much up in the air about the future of the galaxy that I’d rather see how it keeps going, how things advanced.

2. No more Andromeda games. Honestly, I liked Andromeda more than most, and I think it deserved DLC, but I think it really blew the biggest thing it needed to do, which was make the people fleeing the Milky Way refugees instead of colonists. Right now, between the way it grossly mishandled its queer characters and the way that even the most pro-Angaran runthrough still has heavy colonialist overtones, I think it’s best to just leave it, maybe tie up its remaining storylines in a novel or side-story. Andromeda is, in the end, a depressing story of a “hero” who’s only a hero because of cybernetics and who their dad is, bumbling into a royal mess in which the old races of the galaxy have reproduced pretty much every major fuckup they made in the Milky Way, and you’re not allowed to fix them more than superficially.

(At the very least, if you make another Andromeda game, let me get rid of Tann. Kill him, send him to mine Eezo on that exploded prospective Turian planet, whatever, just get him out of power before he completely tanks everything with his old school colonialist bullshit).

So those are the two biggest things I don’t want, what DO I want:

1. Possible non-human Protagonists. Pull a Dragon Age Origins/Inquisition and let the PC Choose their race, with each having a unique origin. I’d prefer Turian, Asari, and Quarian for the non-human races, personally. One of the great things about science fiction and fantasy, to me, are the monsters and non-humans, and I like exploring more non-human perspectives. Also, seriously, there is no reason everyone wouldn’t know what Quarians look like, there have to be photos and movies at this point. Just give us unmasked quarians in the sequel, whether because the Geth helped cure them or they researched their way to better antibodies or a compatible home planet.

2. Treat your damn gays better. While I appreciate the Jaal fix, I mean. Cmon. It took a dedicated campaign to get enough gay options to finish the 3-romance achievement, and of the two original options, one was a stereotypical depraved bisexual that required you to kill the only major black woman character in the game but also basically ended once his planet’s quests were done, and the other had a storyline that revolved around the straight woman friend to the point of homophobia. WLW got more options sure, but mostly because of the “hur hur lesbians” angle for straight men, and for the umpteenth bioware game in a row, the butch-coded woman was ragingly and emphatically straight. Then of course, for trans woman, the implied trans leader of the expedition was killed offscreen, and whatever other story might have been about her died with the DLC, and the other trans character was a sidequest person who immediately deadnamed herself and implied the Milky way was incredibly transphobic. And ME3 was barely any better, especially if you didnt save Kaidan in ME1.

So basically, write more gay stories, write better gay stories, and hire a wider variety of queer writers to write them.

3. Treat non-white characters better. Allow places where asian, hispanics, africans, and other races exist not as random faces, but keeping their unique cultures and outlooks instead of being absorb into some pan-earth miasma that ends up look weirdly like standard western American/Canadian culture. Hire non-white writers to help you realize this. No more letting that one white guy write the black squadmate into weirdly racist corners.

4. Let me tell an actual optimistic story. I’m tired of all these dead ends, I’m tired of bureaucrats ruining everything, I’m tired of being unable to save people. Let my next character be a hero who lets the Geth and Quarians live in harmony, who saves the Rachni and confirms they were mostly misunderstood and are willing to live in Harmony with the other races of the galaxy, who gets the Salarians to leave the Krogans ALONE for once.

Anyway, that’s what I want. Let me play a gay alien. Let my non-white friends play and see characters who look and ACT like them. And for god’s sake, let me imagine a somewhat ok FUTURE.

#mass effect #bioware critical

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newurllllllllllll · 6 years

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Reasons Cher Horowitz is probably a lesbian:

1. She engages with heterosexuality only because she thinks it will help her get ahead. The times she’s excited about straight romance are when she’s trying to boost her grade by setting up two teachers and when she has a chance to do a reputation-boosting makeover on a girl she quite literally considers to be her project. Speaking of Tai...

2. Her primary subject of interest is a woman. Cher shows more personal investment in Tai than all of the men in the movie combined. She spends much of the movie fawning over how pretty she is and how much she wants her to succeed. She has more of the emotional connection with Tai in the first half of the movie than she has with Josh, her alleged love interest, at the end of the film. She claims she is in love with Josh because of how much time she spends thinking about him, but she shows WAYYYY more interest in Tai if this is the measure we’re using. Bonus points for the line where Tai reminds the audience that “she’s never had straight friends before”. No, I’m serious, she has that line of dialogue. Hovering over a butch woman to the extent where she loses track of her own personal life = straight? I don’t think so.

3. She openly shows disinterest in the only boys in her dating pool. Cher says herself she would never want to be with a high school boy because she finds them icky. She does have a point. However, and I am saying this from personal experience, it is EXTREMELY common for wlw to make excuses, consciously or otherwise, why they are not sharing their straight classmates’ interest in men. Most gay women find themselves making excuses for why they could possibly be interested in every single boy they have the opportunity to be with until they catch on to the truth. While I won’t rule out the concept of Cher flirting with boys, she does not interact with potential boyfriends like any straight woman I’ve ever seen. That being said...

4. Her only canonical ‘crush’ is a gay man. Given, Cher did not know he wasn’t straight. Still, crushing on a man who is strictly off limits is one of the oldest tricks in the lesbian book. It allows both the subject and the people around her to maintain the illusion of heterosexuality while still giving her an excuse to refuse any advances that might be made on her. I also find it a bit suspect that she immediately drawn to the only gay person she has the opportunity she gets to know (second if you include Tai). Once again, Cher is dense as a brick thus had no idea that he wasn’t one of her suitors but hey, sometimes your subconscious knows something you don’t.

5. She can’t drive. This point speaks for itself lmao

6. The ending makes a HELL of a lot more sense that way. Think about it. Cher is devastated to learn that Tai is in love with her stepbrother. STEP. BROTHER. The 90s were a time so their loose familial relationship alone isn’t enough to prove that the ending is BS but its still pretty damn weird. Really, who does it make more sense for her to be in love with in that scene, her step brother who aside from being family has a relatively different personality than hers, or the butch girl she’s been obsessing over the past several weeks who she is committed to give the opportunity for a romantic relationship?. The movie makes a metric shitload more sense if the end game couple is Cher and Tai than if it’s Cher and her goddamn stepbrother. The entire purpose of the film is pretty explicitly showing how unaware Cher is of her own emotions. Do you really think she’s not projecting at all onto the nameless boys she keeps trying to steer Tai towards or away from? The fact is, the canonical ending leaves out a lot of the buildup from the first 2/3s of the film to replace it with a hetero narrative that honestly just doesn’t really add up. Perhaps the true ‘cluelessness’ of the film is Cher grappling with her own attraction to women which she easily pawns off as helpfulness or compassion. Cher does eventually conclude that it was her own desire for love and affection that lead her to domineer Tai’s love life so completely. Cher’s inner lesbian loneliness is further proven by her misplaced romantic feelings falling squarely on the personal life of another woman, a gay coded one at that. As for her makeover of herself at the ending, I’m sure someone else agrees with how spot on that is to the feeling of reestablishing yourself that comes after coming out of a long stay in the closet. There isn’t a major need to attribute her character arc to being in love with a man when there is just a simple yet wholistic explanation staring us right in the face.

The more I think about it, the more Clueless just fits into every possible archetype of a lesbian narrative and I really don’t think I’m wrong.

#clueless #cher horowitz

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