#huh?? bisexual?? oh uh yeah sure whatever I guess. maybe. i dunno
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Self ship struggle #5379/????
Male F/O that I, a woman, self-ship with: *is ambiguous in his sexuality, never explicitly written to be romantically interested in anyone, but does explicitly care for his male friend(s)*
Creators/Official page for his source: *posts art where his male friend is hugging him and saying "I love you"*
The replies: "YOUR HONOR THEY ARE GAY!!! THERE IS NO STRAIGHT EXPLANATION FOR THIS!!! ALL THE COMMENTERS SAYING OTHERWISE ARE JUST NASTY M/M HATING FUCKBOYS!!!"
Me: *cannot even breathe in the direction of the post because if I do I will inevitably be labeled as disgustingly homophobic*
#I CANNOT stress this enough#I am F I N E with m/m ships!! I like all ships the same!#the problem I have is when people not only INSIST that their personal headcanon is OBJECTIVELY CORRECT#despite the intentional ambiguity of the source material#but then proceed to blatantly SCORN anyone who even mildly or civilly disagrees with them#two male characters established as friends give each other a gift? maybe even on Valentine's?#a holiday meant for showing love of any kind in general to those you care for?#PFFF there's no such thing as actual friendship! friendship is just the precursor to desiring each other CARNALLY!#only people who are romantically or sexually involved with each other do things like hug or give a present or *gasp* say I love you!#oh those two girls are holding hands while they walk?#they are OBVIOUSLY lesbians and are dating!#huh?? bisexual?? oh uh yeah sure whatever I guess. maybe. i dunno#oh they just like non-romantic contact with people? or are nervous and like holding anyone's hand?#LMAO no way gtfo with that het shit. why would the creators draw them holding hands if they aren't MADLY in love with each other???#like do people genuinely forget that platonic love exists? or that any other sexualities exist?#why is it such a crime to interpret a character in more than one (1) single way#when they're purposefully written in an ambiguous way#or otherwise not established to be one specific way?#sorry for the rant. i don't think i'll ever not be salty about this
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EXT. The Roof (Winter) - Sunset
Not Just Attracted to Women!Peter Maximoff x Fem and Not Just Attracted to Men!Reader
Based off of a dream I recently had: Peter and Y/N have a conversation on the roof of Xavier's in mid-December. Peter accidentally lets it slip that he might not be straight, and he is afraid that Y/N will think less of him because of it because this is the 80s. Y/N reveals that she is also not straight, and is saddened by the fact that Peter could think that she could ever hate him- especially for that. She calls him wonderful. Feelings ensue. Also, a touch of Cherik at the end because I give the people what they want.
Warnings: Swearing, Peter cries, internalized homophobia (this is the 80s-ish and Peter uses the word 'queer' in a kind of incorrect and kind of offensive manner, but it was internalized homophobia and not actually intended to be mean to anyone but himself so I forgive him), a touch of angst but mostly fluff, Charles called you two "children" even though you are obviously not, Erik is happy that his son has someone that cares about him the way you do, Peter is insecure but not super blunt about it, Peter has been deprived of being adored his entire life, bad writing, I mention a serial killer twice, historical inaccuracy because the word queer was still a slur so yeah.
A/N: This is literally the first thing I have ever written so please be nice to me, I wrote this instead of an essay. I would love a comment of any kind, even if it's just a heart emoji or something, and constructive criticism would be highly appreciated. Also 'N/N' stands for nick-name.
(Ok, so, full discloser: the format is odd. The bullet points represent dialogue, and the only dialogue is between you two love birds. The first bullet point is Peter, the second is Y/N, the third is Peter, and so on.)
“I dunno, the whole ‘liking people’ thing has always been weird for me.”
“How do you mean?"
“Pppffftt- 'how do you mean,' what are you, Shakespeare or somethin’?”
“Yeah, because that’s the era when ‘how do you mean' would have been a popular term. Ok, what do you mean?”
“Just- when other people were liking people I never really was?”
He was gesturing wildly and avoiding eye contact, as always. He wasn't uncomfortable with eye contact, he just got bored easily in conversations, he needed to keep himself occupied. In this situation that meant staring at the red and green lights covering the rest of the roof, the snowy trees all over the yard, and a holly garland around the gate. Peter wasn't Christian, but man, did he love their Christmas decorations.
“Like… now? In school?”
“Well- yeah… but also when I was younger. And I never liked the right people? Or... liked them in the right way?”
“So you’ve never liked anyone.”
“No, no… I definitely have. It was just… weird! I don't-”
His hands dropped to his side in defeat.
“I don’t think it’s that out of the ordinary. I would tell you if it was. Also, if it was... 'weird', like you said, that wouldn’t mean it was necessarily bad.”
He hadn’t really heard what she said, he was too busy pondering what his next sentence would be. When she wasn't speaking, he was rambling.
"I had some of the normal crap… like in movies when they talk about the fluttery stomach junk. I've had that around a few girls I've been friends with, also that phase with the boy stuff, a-"
“Wait, what phase with the boy stuff?”
“Like- when you’re in middle school or whatever and you're gay for a second.”
His phrasing was a joke, but the statement as a whole was not.
“…‘Gay for a second’?”
“…Yeah?”
“Hmmm..."
"Is that- not-"
"I don't think that is... 'normal'... per-say..."
“Oh… Really?”
His heart sunk.
“…Yeah.”
“Huh.”
“…Mhm.”
“…Shit.”
He suddenly looked almost embarrassed. He shifted his posture, seemingly trying to shrink into himself.
“Do you... wanna chat about it?”
Panic started to slowly rise in him.
“Um- forget I said anything.”
“Why?”
Something in him said to go on the "defense". He did not appear as calm as he was intending to.
“I’m not- gay! or anything. I like girls! I do!”
She put her hand on his arm.
“Hey- look at me for a second. We are not in court, and I never 'accused' you of being gay. That would be a very funny reality TV show, but not what is happening right now. Listen, theoretically if you were gay that wouldn’t be bad! And I wouldn’t be… whatever you.. think that I would be? I mean- however you are afraid I would act in a negative reaction to it? I would try to be here for you, and be as supportive as possible.”
He didn’t believe her.
“Ok, sure.”
“Peter.”
“What? You’re going to tell me that you would honestly be friends with a queer person- be friends with me if I was... not... normal?”
She was taken aback by his tone, the word he had used, and the way he said it, felt like a weight dropping on her shoulders.
“Oh. would you… not?”
It was her turn to seem nervous.
“What?”
“Would you- stop being friends with someone for liking someone that they… I don’t know… shouldn’t... would be the word I guess?”
Why, in this situation, was she nervous? Oh. His fear was replaced with guilt.
“No.”
“Ok.”
“So… are you… do you… why were you scared?”
“... Why were you?”
She expected a joke from him, something along the lines of “touché".
“Are you… gay?”
“No.”
Yeah, he didn’t believe her.
“Uh-huh”
“Really, I’m not. I’ve liked boys, but also... I've had feelings for girls. I’m not… straight. So I just want to let you know that it’s okay if you aren’t too.”
“I never s-“
She smiled at him with a bit of pity, she had been there. The self-loathing, the feeling of walking on minefields with so many people in your life.
“You are…”
She paused.
“I am… what?”
“Give me a second I’m trying to find the perfect word.”
“… Okay?”
“Wonderful.”
That was not exactly the word he was expecting. Like, at all.
“Huh?”
“That’s the word. Wait- let me start over. You gotta look me in my eyes as I say it, because it’s gonna be really poetic.”
“Uh… should I be scared?”
“No. Maybe a little. No.”
“… Okay.”
He looked at her.
“You are… wonderful.”
“Oh... Thanks?“
He looked away again, to be honest, he was a bit uncomfortable. He rarely received compliments, especially ones that seem so... genuine.
“I’m not finished, look back at me, just for a second. You are so wonderful- and I will support you as whatever you are! I want you to know that I can- I can barely even think of something you could do that would make me genuinely hate you- like… maybe if you Dahmer-ed people or like chopped up a-“
He found this was amusing, yet disturbing.
“Y/N?”
“Sorry- I just- the fact that you thought, even for a second, that I could hate you… is just-“
“I’m sorry”
“No! Stop it. Don’t be sorry.”
She stared at him expectantly.
“What do you want me to-“
“Take it back! The sorry!”
“How?”
“Say you aren’t sorry”
“N/N-“
“Peter.”
“Ok. I’m, ya know, not sorry.”
“Good. You shouldn’t be”
“You’re weird.”
“Yuh-huh. Says the most likely, from the little information I've gathered, bisexual in denial who also happens to be the fastest boy on earth who had to slow down exponentially to interact with other people who also, also, happens sitting on a roof in the dead of winter with me.”
“What’s by smexual?”
Something about the way he attempted to repeat her words must have been hilarious, he thought, because here she was, sitting in front of him, in a fit of childish giggles. He would smile if he weren't so confused.
“No- that’s not- what I said- it’s… wait!”
“What?”
“You’re tryna get me off topic!”
“Am not!”
“Are too!”
“Am not!”
“Am not!”
“Are t- shit.”
“HAHA! Victory is a sweet dessert... wait is that even the saying? Still, I win you lose, nerd.”
“Ok, okay! go on.”
She was attempting to gather herself to give off a less jokey aura. It was half working, the "am not! are too!" argument a few moments ago made it hard for him to take her seriously, but he could tell it was important to her that he did, so he tried his best.
“You have to look at me again. just for a second.”
“I sw-”
“Just do it? Please?”
His attempt to put up a fight was thwarted by her small "please". He was pathetic.
“Okay.”
He looked at her.
“You…”
“Me… or- wait- I…”
“Are w-“
“Wonderful, yeah yeah. just get to the n-”
“No.”
“… No?”
“When you say it it doesn’t encapsulate it. It sounds silly.”
“Ok little miss ‘you art thou wonderful’, how would you have me say it?”
“I am you wonderful?”
“What?”
“You called me ‘little miss you are you wonderful’ what does that-“
“Ok! Would you just- shut up and call me wonderful one more time, please?”
She looked at him and blinked. That sentence surely came off as less ironic than intended.
“You are wonderful.”
She grabbed his face, in a half-joking manner. Her grab smushed his cheeks and she couldn't help but laugh a bit when she did it. Even though it was clearly a bit, he was still flustered.
“W-“
She shook him a bit.
"Shut up 'cause I'm about to say some beautiful and true shit. You are wonderful. You are wonderful. You are wonderful. You are absolutely, unchangingly, and irrevocably wonderful and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, Maximoff.”
After saying what she would (in 40 years or so) recall as a painfully John Green-ish statement in her blunt and matter-of-fact manner, she let go of her semi-ironic hold on his pink cheeks. Were his cheeks pink because it was absolutely freezing, or because his heart was beating faster than he had ever (and would ever, mind you) run, you ask? No comment.
“Wow.”
“Wow what.”
“You do say it better than I do.”
“Did you like how I stressed different parts of the sentence each time? I thought that was a nice detail.”
“Wow.”
“So I’ve heard.”
“Wow.”
Did his voice just... break a little?
“Peter?”
“Uh- yeah?”
Was he a little... sniffle-y? She was now very concerned.
“Are you okay?!”
“Oh- um... yeah!”
No! No he was clearly not! He was sniffling!
“Really? 'Cause, you don't seem it.”
“It’s just- I just- wow.”
“Wow, what!?”
“That was just- uh-"
“Just what? It really wasn't that fancy, you seem much too impressed with me. Oh my God, was it terrible?”
“I mean it was really corny but w-“
“I swear to God if you say 'wow' one more time I may have to add ‘use of the word wow too much’ to the list of things that could make me hate you. Right next to the Dahmer stuff. That was a joke. Your use of the word wow is only mildly perturbing. Sorry."
She was panicking "just a bit".
“I’m sorry, I mean I’m not sorry. Sorry. Shit! sorry! I mean I’m not!”
And he was absolutely... full-on crying at this point.
“Peter.”
“Yeah?”
He was looking down at his mittens. Not that this is important, but they were very pretty mittens.
“Look at me, you klepto.”
He didn’t.
“You know- I’ve been hearing a lot of that 'look at me' stuff from you today. I mean- the klepto part is new-“
“Peter.”
“What?!”
He peaked up at her.
“Talk to me. Please, you're kinda scaring me, let me help.”
“I’m not sad!”
“You’re crying!”
“Yeah but not from the sads!”
“… The ‘sads’?”
“You know- when you get sad! It just means being sad! I don't- that’s what Wanda calls it, not me!"
He wiped his nose, tears still running down from his puffy eyes to his reddened cheeks.
“What are you crying from?”
“No one’s ever called me wonderful before.”
“I'm sorry! I did a few minutes ago and you didn’t cry!”
“No! You can't 'sorry' me if I can't 'sorry' you! And- yeah but that doesn’t count!”
“Why?”
“Because it only felt big when you said it the certain way!”
“What way!?”
“You look at me, you grab my cheeks-“
“I'm sorry about that by the way I was j-“
“No! It’s really ok! Do it whenever! I mean don’t do it whene- shut up!”
“I’m not even talking! You're the one talking!”
“You look at me, you grab my cheeks, and you go: you are wonderful.”
“Yeah???”
“No one ever called me that before!”
"Peter, I- well- they- they should! They should! More often! Then the amount that it happens now! I think. In my opinion."
"Or really looked at me like that!”
“Looked at you like what, Peter?”
“Like I was somethin’!”
“Well, you are… ‘somethin'! Whatever that means! And- I think you deserve to be looked at as such!”
“See?”
“What!?”
“You just-“
A strangled sob escaped from his throat. He didn't know how to explain.
“Pete.”
“Ew. I hate that nickname.”
He crossed his arms over his chest like a toddler, trying to completely ignore the fact that he was an emotional wreck.
“Peter.”
“Yeah?”
She opened her arms and gestured for him to come closer. He was hesitant at first- but gave up all the reasons he shouldn't move to be closer to her in exchange for the promise of comfort she was offering him. He crawled over to her and curled up in her arms. The way she held him made him want to cry more. Who does she think she is- holding him like he was worth holding? With her chin sitting on top of his hair? Letting him do that gross cry sob with the spit and the snot into her only winter coat? Rocking him, and shushing him, and petting his stupid, silver hair? She was warm, too! The audacity of this woman.
When Erik brought Charles into his office to grab a chess set, they saw the two in the window. For a moment Charles considered telling Peter and Y/N to get off of the high platform, seeing as the two were the reasons the "no sitting on the roof" rule was enacted in the first place (neither of them were coordinated whatsoever). Charles quickly dropped this notion when he saw the look on Erik's face, Charles could tell it made him so happy to see Peter be held like that, cared for like that. Erik's expression made Charles want to both tell Erik that he is the most precious thing in the world, and make fun of him (look at Mr. Metal, gone completely soft). Possibly he could do both at the same time. But for now, he is just going to pretend he didn't see the two outside of the window, and have Erik grab them their game, go to the living room, and pretend not to have read Erik's mind when he inevitably asks him how he always manages to pick the white chess piece at "random".
#is this even good#i wrote this instead of an essay#peter maximoff#peter maximoff fluff#peter maximoff x reader#me 🤝 commas#me 🤝 ... okay#the quality of this fic 📈📉📈📉📈
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Asher Kids Do An Interview
Choose an OC.
Answer them as that OC.
Tag 5 people to do the same.
Tagging @siriuslymooned @sam-writes @toplesstaylor @rogerandhishair and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it!!
[aydtd]
Note: Astrid is the oldest. Cate is the middlest. Barney is the youngest.
1. What is your name?
Cate: Cate Taylor.
Barney: Barney Clarke- Taylor... Sun.
Astrid: Astrid Taylor.
2. Do you know why are you named that?
Cate: It’s short for Catherine.
Astrid: Is that what it’s short for?
Cate: Shut up.
Barney: What are you short for?
Astrid: That’s just how I grew.
Barney: You grew?
Astrid: I didn’t come out of ma at five-foot nothin’, yeah I fuckin’ grew, ya turnip.
Cate: Barney’s short for Barnabus.
Astrid: Barney’s short for a giant.
Barney: Taller than both of you.
Astrid: Taller than everyone.
Cate: ’s not difficult to be taller than Trid.
Astrid: Shut it; Barney what’s the deal with your last name?
Barney: Clarke is my professional name, I was born a Taylor, and I married into Sun. So legally I’m Barnabus Sun-Taylor, but I’m usually credited professionally as Barney Clarke.
Astrid: Huh. Nice; I didn’t realise you and Mickey [Barney’s partner] hyphenated. I’m named Astrid ‘cos dad liked how it sounded.
3. Are you single or taken?
Barney: Taken. [Barney wiggles the fingers off his left hand, to show where a wedding ring sits neatly on his ring finger.]
Cate: Taken? Taken. Not married though, almost made that mistake before.
Astrid: Single as.
4. Have any abilities or powers?
[There’s a long silence, the three of them look at one another with confusion.]
Barney: I played a superhero once.
Astrid: Oh yeah, you were good in that, what was it-?
Barney: X-Men.
Cate: Did you really forget X-Men?
Astrid: He’s been in a lot of movies!
5. Stop being a Mary Sue.
Cate: The next time you read an alcoholic, lesbian, disaster Mary Sue, can you please send me a link?
Astrid: Hey!
Barney: I’m pretty sure it’s ‘Gary Stu’ for me?
Cate: You’re not a Gary Stu... Actually-
Astrid: Maybe a little?
Barney: I’m successful, there’s a difference, I think.
Cate: (amused) Did you put yourself through the litmus test?
Astrid: There’s a litmus test?
6. What’s your eye color?
Astrid: Blue.
Cate: Blue.
Barney: Ma’s eyes all the way; green.
7. How about your hair color?
Barney: Ginger.
Cate: I dunno, I think I’d consider myself a strawberry blonde.
Astrid: We’re a weird sliding scale between mum and dad; I’ve got dad’s blonde hair.
8. Have any family members?
[They look at each other with amusement.]
Astrid: (sarcastically) No, I’ve never seen these people before in my life.
9. Oh? How about pets?
Cate: My daughter’s been asking about getting a dog and I’m pretty sure Joe’s gonna get her one if he gets wind of how much she wants it.
Astrid: God, imagine her little face if Joe gets her a puppy, oh Christ.
Cate: She’d cry, she’d absolutely cry, like happy tears but... oh, God I’m gonna get a dog aren’t I?
Barney: Pets are great; I love Sir more every day.
Astrid: I hope [Cate’s] dog is nothing like Sir, that cat is an asshole-
Barney: Only to you.
Astrid: Barn, your cat is an asshole.
Barney: You’re an asshole.
10. That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don’t like?
Astrid: Barney’s fucking cat.
Barney: Astrid.
Cate: Calm down you babies. I don’t like wearing high heels.
Astrid: Seconded.
Barney: Thirded.
11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?
Barney: I box.
Astrid: That’s your go-to, isn’t it?
Barney: Fine, I also enjoy swimming, spending time with Mickey, and mixing drinks.
Cate: That’s cute.
Astrid: I enjoy drinking the drinks he mixes.
Cate: That’s less cute.
Barney: Drinking isn’t a hobby.
Astrid: Alright, I enjoy going to pubs to listen to music, driving fast cars, and spending time with pretty people.
Cate: Yeah, that checks out. I don’t have a lot of time for hobbies, though I play music, my bass mostly, and, ah, studying languages I guess. And spending time with Claud [her daughter], obviously.
12. Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?
Astrid: Bar fights, mostly. Smacked a few assholes who’ve heckled Barn’s movies while I’m trying to watch them.
Barney: That’s actually kind of sweet. I’ve only been in one bar fight, and Trid finished that guy off, but other than that, and a few stunts gone wrong, a few hits in boxing, not really.
Cate: (visibly uncomfortable) Not, uh, not physically.
13. Ever… killed anyone before?
Astrid: What the fuck? No.
14. What kind of animal are you?
Cate: I think I’m a meerkat.
[Astrid immediately raises her hands up to her chest like paws, perking up and looking around, imitating a meerkat. Cate smiles, and imitates the gesture.]
Barney: Yeah, I can see it. Trid’s that terribly taxidermied- ah, [he pulls out his phone, and taps away at the screen for a moment] cheetah!
[Astrid shoves him, but both he and Cate are laughing.]
Astrid: You’re your asshole cat.
15. Name your worst habits?
Barney: Oh, Mickey actually hit the nail on the head when we did the Husband Tag on their channel the other day- follow Mickey, they’re sunteamick, all one word, on YouTube.
Cate: What did they say?
Barney: I’m too unperturbed.
Astrid: You’re too chill?
Barney: They said I’m a danger to myself because of it; got hit in the face at boxing a few months ago, broke my nose - not the first time, but still not pleasant - and went home instead of to the hospital because I didn’t think it was that bad. It wasn’t; I still should have gone to hospital but it wasn’t that bad. Much worse things could have happened, it’s just a nose.
Cate: You need to be more perturbed?
Barney: I need to be more perturbed.
Astrid: Being unperturbed isn’t exactly a habit.
Barney: I also leave the cap off the toothpaste after I use it.
Cate: That’s bad and you should feel bad.
Barney: I do, but I’ll never change. It perturbs Mickey.
Astrid: My worst habit is that - I’m a stunt driver sometimes, right, and I do mad dangerous stunts, and every time I get injured or have like, a near death experience, I don’t think like ‘oh maybe I should slow down’, I think ‘how long until I can get this fuckin’ cast off and get back behind the wheel?’.
Cate: You’re an adrenaline junkie.
Astrid: But only with dangerous car stunts.
Barney: You perturb me.
Astrid: Good.
Cate: I bite my nails.
16. Do you look up to anyone at all?
Astrid: Physically or metaphorically?
Barney: You look up to everyone physically.
[Note; Barney Clarke is 6′4. Astrid Taylor is 5′0.]
Cate: Our parents, obviously. They’re very successful, and have been through a lot. I grew up idolising them because they’re my parents, but as I came to know more about them as people, it was just natural to idolise them as people too.
Barney: Yeah, mum and dad, also Alec Baldwin.
Cate: Alec Baldwin, really? I wouldn’t have picked that.
Barney: Did you see him in Streetcar? [he hums appreciatively] That man’s career, his talent, all the stuff of legend. Meryl Streep, too.
Cate: Yeah no, I get that.
Astrid: Meryl Streep can get it.
17. Are you gay, straight or bisexual?
Barney: Uh, I’m pan?
Cate: I’m probably on the asexual spectrum, I haven’t thought about it in a while. Not aromantic though, I guess I’d be bi or pan romantic? Queer. I’m queer.
Astrid: I’m- look at me, I’m a whole damn lesbian.
18. Do you go to school?
Astrid: I take a few classes here and there, but I actually didn’t finish high school, dropped out in Year 10 with my parent’s blessing and started working as a mechanic.
Cate: I haven’t studied in a while but I have a Masters in Public Relations.
Astrid: And she speaks like eight languages.
Cate: Five.
Astrid: Still, you’re a very impressive lady.
Cate: Thanks, Trid.
Barney: I finished high school, but I’ve been working pretty steadily since then, don’t have a degree or anything.
19. Ever want to marry and have kids one day?
Cate: I’ve got Claud, I almost married her dad, but... but that would have been bad for everyone. I’m not in a hurry to get married, let’s say.
Barney: Mickey and I don’t really want to be parents just yet, maybe one day, but we’re happy just spoiling Claud when we can.
Astrid: Oh, absolutely seconded; that kid is terrifyingly sweet for how spoiled she is.
Barney: She’s so great.
Cate: She really is.
20. Do you have any fangirls/fanboys?
Astrid: I run a Barney stan account on Twitter.
Barney: Really?
Astrid: Fuck no, but he does actually have fans.
Cate: I guess we all have fans in our own way, but a lot of that, like minus Barney, who’s genuinely a star, is more because of mum and dad.
Astrid: Imagine if Claud grows up to be a Queen stan on tumblr.
Cate: That’s horrifying.
21. What are you most afraid of?
Cate: The concept of Claud finding smut about Joe.
Astrid: The concept that Cate’s found and read smut about Joe.
Barney: Why would she need it? Couldn’t she just-
Astrid: Maybe before they were together?
Cate: I hate you both.
Barney: Well, that’s not a ‘no I haven’t read smut about my boyfriend’. Also I’m afraid of submarines.
Astrid: Submarines?
Barney: The big hole in the front of them gives me anxiety.
22. What do you usually wear?
Barney: Astrid doesn’t get to answer this one because she doesn’t know what fashion is, and dresses like a single dad in the middle of his mid-life crisis.
[Astrid shrugs but keeps quiet; her shorts have oil stains on them.]
Barney: Good. I’m a fan of colourful button-downs and slacks.
Astrid: Gucci [pronounced Gucky, like ducky but with a G] button-downs, you mean.
Barney: (quietly, but with a lot of feeling) I hate you.
[Cate is laughing too hard to answer. She wears a pastel sweater and well fitting jeans.]
23. What’s one food that tempts you?
Astrid: Kracken Rum.
Cate: That doesn’t count as food.
Astrid: I’m not changing my answer.
Cate: Fine. Original Glaze Krispy Cream Donuts.
Barney: Like the ones dad used to buy us when we’d visit him on tour in America?
Cate: Yeah! God they’re good.
Barney: I’m always tempted by whatever Mickey cooks, though they don’t do it a lot. I usually cook. I enjoy it a lot.
24. Am I annoying to you?
Cate: No, you’re fine.
25. Well, it’s still not over!
Astrid: How many questions left?
26. What class are you (low/middle/high)?
[All three of them seem to become uncomfortable with the question.]
Cate: We- we’re comfortable. Our parents are Roger and Ash Taylor, we’ll always be comfortable.
27. How many friends do you have?
Cate: I’d say we’ve all got good circles - very different circles, sure-
Barney: If Astrid could stop collecting my pretty-boy costars that is.
Astrid: (smugly) It’s not my fault I’m good at making friends with your pretty-boy costars.
Barney: I’m glad people don’t realise we’re related, sometimes.
Astrid: Because I embarrass you?
Barney: (grumbling under his breath) Because everyone thinks you’re cooler than me.
Astrid: Men are so easy to get; look good, drive fast, and drink hard. Once they find out I’m gay and I can help wingman them really well, and maybe fix their cars, I’ve got ‘em, hook, line, and sinker.
Barney: That’s a bit of a generalisation, don’t you think?
Astrid: Fine; pretty boys in Hollywood are easy to get.
Barney: That much I’ll give you.
28. What are your thoughts on pie?
Cate: Actually, Barney, that apple pie you made for Easter was stunning, I was meaning to tell you.
Astrid: Easter was months ago.
Cate: I’ve been busy!
Barney: Thanks, I can send you the recipe if you like.
Cate: I’d never have the time to cook it.
Barney: I’ll make it for you again, then.
29. Favorite drink?
Astrid: Kracken. Rum.
Barney: Peanut butter and chocolate milkshake.
Cate: (again, uncomfortable) Orange juice, I guess.
30. What’s your favorite place?
Barney: The kitchen of my LA apartment, with a roast dinner in the oven and Mickey sitting at the kitchen island talking to me about their day.
Cate: Awww!
Astrid: That’s really sweet, Barn.
Cate: Well mine’s probably being side of stage at one of dad’s concerts with Claud with me.
Astrid: (quiet) Mine’s gonna sound stupid.
Cate: No, it’s- well, maybe.
Astrid: It’s just- I don’t really have like a favourite favourite place, you know? I have like, moments with people that just stick with me. Like, I shared a cigarette with Ben [Hardy] during one of Cate’s gigs and I just remember talking and laughing and looking up at the stars, and I could hear my talented as all fuck sister playing inside, and I just- it was lovely.
Cate: Trid...
Astrid: And you know, I do remember X-Men, you know? Because when you flew with that scream-thing you do in the movie? I fucking cried. I was so fucking proud, dude. My favourite place is in a cinema watching my little brother on the big screen, or at a bar watching my sister smash out some of the best rock and roll of our generation, or watching dad play, or seeing mum’s smile when she’s finally happy with an outfit- fuck, sorry I didn’t mean to get all sappy and shit.
Barney: No- Trid, no, don’t apologise.
31. Are you interested in anyone?
Astrid: Not in a long-term sense.
[Cate and Barney share a frown, before turning their identical ‘are you kidding me?’ looks on the interviewer.]
32. That was a stupid question…
Barney: Yeah, I’m married.
33. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?
Cate: Ocean, always the ocean.
Barney: Yeah, I’m with you on that one.
Astrid: But the ocean has submarines in it.
Barney: Well I can’t see them so it’s fine.
Astrid: Fair cop, I also have to say ocean.
34. What’s your type?
Astrid: (teasingly) Cate likes cute, goofy actors with dumb perms and big grins and-
Cate: Astrid likes all girls ever, especially if they buy her a drink.
Astrid: Guilty as charged.
Barney: Two opposite ends of the spectrum? Every girl ever and Joe Mazzello specifically?
Cate: ... Pretty much.
35. Any fetishes?
[Astrid opens her mouth, but Cate smacks her hand over her mouth.]
Cate: That’s information I don’t need to know about my sister, thanks.
Barney: (grinning) Bondage.
Astrid: (muffled) Nice.
Cate: Christ.
Barney: That’s the tame shit, Catie.
Cate: You are my Baby Brother, shut your mouth. Ow!
[Astrid has bitten Cate’s hand. She removes her hand from Astrid’s mouth.]
Barney: I’m a married man!
Cate: I don’t want to know what you guys are into, and I don’t want you to know what I’m into, okay? We all know too much about our own family, I’d like some modicum of privacy.
Astrid: Yeah, after you see your mum bare it all in a photoshoot from the seventies with Bowie, life does get a little weird.
Barney: Oh, I forgot about that. Okay, moving on.
36. Camping or outdoors?
Astrid: Camper van.
Barney: I like hiking, but not really camping.
Cate: Claud camps in the backyard sometimes, it’s fun to join her, sometimes we stargaze.
Astrid: That’s a grossly cute image to end on.
Barney: Does Joe stargaze with you guys?
Cate: (blushing) Once or twice. Claud fell asleep on him last time. It was pretty cute.
Astrid: Oh that’s actually really cute.
Cate: Yeah, it was.
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1-99
you think this is a game anon? you send in 1-99 i’m gonna do 1-99 so HERE WE H*CKING GO
“1) Sexuality?”
bi! even tho i’m not attracted to many boys (and i actually only seriously like one) i still consider myself to be a groovy bisexual
“2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?”
any of the monkees! but also paul mccartney!
“3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.”
here’s an excerpt from the nearest book, ‘‘the everything reading music book’‘: “The terms measure and bar can be used in place of one another - they mean the same thing.” very educational!
“4) What do you think about most?”
it’s probably pathetic but i probably think about story concepts the most! either that or monkees stuff but sometimes they can be the same thing
“5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?”
my latest text is from my dude sean a.k.a joj-n-ringo who said that he sent me loads of asks about nwa but somehow i didn’t get any of them
“6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?”
always with! sleeping naked is weird and plus i hate my body and don’t wanna look at it SKJALKJAKLHDKSJLKN
“7) What’s your strangest talent?”
i dunno! i don’t really have any weird talents!
“8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)”
girls…are neat! boys…are also neat!
“9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?”
no one’s ever written me a song but i’ve had friends write me poems before! it’s nice and i love it
“10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?”
hm……when’s the last time i listened to joe walsh’s life’s been good……………probably then!
“11) Do you have any strange phobias?”
i don’t know if it counts as a phobia but i get really bothered when i see shirtless pics of people and their ribs are visible like idk what it is but eeeee i don’t like it
“12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?”
not that i can remember, lmao
“13) What’s your religion?”
i’m not like a diehard religion fanatic but i was raised christian and still sorta stand by it yknow
“14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?”
looking at the area around me, even if i’ve seen the place a thousand times, i’m always just lookin around lmao
“15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?”
it depends! mostly i like being in front tho jdhbkjfhdjfls
“16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?”
the monkees! those four idiots have my whole heart
“17) What was the last lie you told?”
my mom asked me if i did my homework yesterday and i lied and said i did it at school BUT I DID DO MOST OF IT THERE SO WHEN I BROUGHT IT HOME I DIDN’T HAVE A LOT TO DO
“18) Do you believe in karma?”
i guess so! what goes around comes around i’d suppose
“19) What does your URL mean?”
it’s named somewhat after my favorite anime character tomoko kuroki bc i love her and she’s a big mood
“20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?”
i think my greatest weakness would be that i jump to conclusions without any reason yknow but i think my biggest strength would be either my writing abilities or my ability to sorta see through people and see exactly what type of person they are
“21) Who is your celebrity crush?”
davy jones !!!!!! i love him so much !!!!!!!!!!
“22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?”
hELL NO i would never i’m way too modest for that sjsklaskjdkbfnj
“23) How do you vent your anger?”
usually i talk to someone about it who’d understand but sometimes when i don’t want to bug anyone i just scribble it all down
“24) Do you have a collection of anything?”i have a record collection! and a cd and tape collection, i mostly just collect music stuff kshsjlbsjk
“25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?”
i don’t really like either but i prefer talking on the phone!
“26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?”
not entirely
“27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?”
i hate the sound of babies screaming like i don’t hate children but uGH it kills my ears and a sound i love is the sound of tambourines! i love those lil things they do a good noise
“28) What’s your biggest “what if”?”
what if it’s all for nothing (this could apply to several things)
“29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?”
i dunno about aliens but i think there are ghosts! i’d love to be friends with a ghost like. imagine
“30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.”
with my right i touch my phone first! and with my left i touch my 3ds
“31) Smell the air. What do you smell?”
it smells like……………………………..air
“32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?”
i dunno i’ve never really been anywhere super terrible
“33) Choose East Coast or West Coast?”
uhhh east?
“34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?”
DAVY JONES OF COURSEEEEE
“35) To you, what is the meaning of life?”
to give it meaning
“36) Define Art.”
art is whatever you make it tbh, something that inspires
“37) Do you believe in luck?”
i guess! even tho i have the worst luck ever
“38) What’s the weather like right now?”
cold and windy it SUCKS
“39) What time is it?”
at the time of writing this answer it’s 8:37 pm!
“40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?”
i’m too young to drive so i’ve never done it bsjhklskjdvbfjdsk
“41) What was the last book you read?”
i admit i write more than i read but i believe the last time i read a book was yesterday when i was reading one of my how-to-read-sheet-music books from the library
“42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?”
i can tolerate it but i wouldn’t want to sit and smell it for hours
“43) Do you have any nicknames?”
not really! if you gave me one that’d be neat
“44) What was the last movie you saw?”
last time i watched a movie was when i rewatched the beatles movie ‘‘help!’‘ it’s a rlly good movie i love it
“45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?”
uh once i broke my arm in kindergarten but i think that’d be it
“46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?”
like in a net? no but i’d really like tooooo i think it’d be neat
“47) Do you have any obsessions right now?”
MONKEESSSSSS I’VE BEEN HYPERFIXING ON THE MONKEES FOR NEARLY A YEAR NOW I JUST LOVE THOSE FOUR DUMBASSES ESPECIALLY THE SHORT ONE THAT TALKS FUNNY
“48) What’s your sexual orientation?”
i’m a girl! born a girl and i have stayed a girl since. wild
“49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?”
not that i know of sjhskdksl is that a good thing??
“50) Do you believe in magic?”
perhaps it’s out there and someone’s just keeping it to themselves WHICH WOULD SUCK BC GIVE ME SOME MAGIC YOU FUCK
“51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?”
i forgive but never forget
“52) What is your astrological sign?”
since i was born on november 8th i’d be a scorpio!
“53) Do you save money or spend it?”
i’m terrible at saving money but i’m a wiz at spending it
“54) What’s the last thing you purchased?”
my monkees shirt! i love that thing even tho it was 90 dollars on etsy but lemme tell ya it’s 90 dollars well spent
“55) Love or lust?”
love !!!!!!!!!!
“56) In a relationship?”
in my daydream universe i’m the lovely intelligent wife of davy jones but in reality i’m a lonely bitch skjfhdsjflsj;fdkk
“57) How many relationships have you had?”
i had a boyfriend for a week in kindergarten but only because he recognized me from sunday school and i’ve never had a relationship since
“58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?”
no and i can’t believe people can do that but some people can’t like HUH
“59) Where were you yesterday?”
i wasn’t anywhere near the crime scene officer i swear
“60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?”
on my desk next to my coaster is my pink rubber bracelet with a peter tork quote on it! and that’s not very far away so it counts!
“61) Are you wearing socks right now?”
the only time i’m not wearing socks is when i’m in the shower so yes
“62) What’s your favorite animal?”
the red panda !!!! i love those funky little dudes !!!!!!!
“63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?”
i really would not know my dude i mean just being myself i guess?? bold of you to assume people like me
“64) Where is your best friend?”
probably at their house being the greatest best friend ever
“65) Spit or swallow?(;”
i think when you’re brushing your teeth you literally have to spit you can’t just swallow that shit what the fuck if i find someone who does that i’ll ascend
“66) What is your heritage?”
i don’t really know! i mean i’m about as white as a piece of paper so
“67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?”
i told you before officer i wasn’t out doing illegal actions ((nah but seriously i was watching youtube i think))
“68) What do you think is Satan’s last name?”
bofa
“69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?”
honestly i never remember where my bus stop is i always just look out the window and see my house and i’m like oh shit time to skidaddle so i mostly rely on the bus driver for that. thanks bus driver
((yeah))
“70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?”
i think being friends with me would be alright maybe!
“71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?”
man fuck that guy i’m saving that fuckin dog then i’ll just show up with the dog and everyone will think it’s so cute that i won’t get fired. problem solved!
“72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?”
i guess everyone would already know but i’d finish everything i’d need to like writing projects and stuff, i’d make sure i’d do everything i need to before i had to die
“73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love.”
where there’s trust there’s love so trust!
“74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?”
looking for the good times by the monkees never fails to make me smile! i just love davy a lot
“75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?”
7644!
“76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?”
a good relationship starts with a good friendship yknow. you have to be able to love and appreciate the person you’re with and accept them the way they are and not try to change them too much. and it also sorta all relies on trust. if you can trust who you’re with, you’re good to go. and if you feel like you’re unable to call them out when they do wrong or if they do/say something really bad and you just let it slide then that’s not good in a relationship i’d say
“77) How can I win your heart?”
be nice
“78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?”
maybe just a small, small amount but not a lot
“79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?”
deciding to listen to the monkees tbh bc !!! i love em !!!! have i mentioned this !!!!
“80) What size shoes do you wear?”
like size 11 or somethin like that
“81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?”
“bury me shallow because i’ll be back”
“82) What is your favorite word?”
my favorite word would probably be “lovely” bc it’s so fuckin !! good !!!!!!!
“83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.”
i always hear the word in davy’s voice and the way he says it LKDSLSKS he goes “h a h t” it’s cute
“84) What is a saying you say a lot?”
“it be like that sometimes”
“85) What’s the last song you listened to?”
everybody wants to rule the world by tears for fears! listening to it as i answer this actually
“86) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?”
blue! really any shade of blue but especially light blue!
“87) What is your current desktop picture?”
i’ve said monkees too many times in this post but. them
“88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?”
the president bc he sucks
“89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?”
if someone outside of the internet asked if i were gay i think i’d be a little scared to answer bc yknow my whole family is homophobic and all that and sometimes you never can tell who is and who isn’t
“90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?”
introduce myself bc even if i’m scared i’m not about to be impolite
“91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?”
time travel !!!! they call me TIME TRAVELING PRODUCE AISLE
“92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?”
maybe a half hour of my first concert! it was a blast
“93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?”
developing depression
“94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?”
DAVY FUCKIN JONES but would we still see eachother afterwards is the question
“95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?”
manchester, england !!!!!!! i really want to go and i actually kinda wanna move there someday
“96) Do you have any relatives in jail?”
not that i know of i sure hope not lmao
“97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?”
once a long time ago
“98) Ever been on a plane?”
never bc my mom is super scared of heights and scared of planes and tbh i kinda don’t really like planes i prefer boats
“99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?”
i’d say listen to papa gene’s blues by the monkees and listen to mike nesmith go “yeeeeeehawwwww !!!!!!”
this took me an hour thanks anon
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Best Man
I just wrote this. Pushed what I had planned to pub Thursday ahead a week :p
It is...very self-indulgent. But I had sort of a Long Day last Monday and I wanted to write a situation where someone comes out, and the people come out to are actually really thrilled.
This scene mirrors a flashback in Dolls and Duckbacks where Nathanael *tries* to come out to his parents.
“It’s just a hypothetical,” the boy settled back into the chair, “nothing to get upset about.”
“Honey,” Christian said, “we’re not upset. This is wonderful!”
The boy sort of cringed into his hands but said, “R-really? You think it’d be good thing if I were a boy?”
“Of course! That’s who you really are, isn’t it? If you’re living as who you really are it’s a good thing.”
The words made him smile, because they echoed so much with his inner monologue, “Yeah, I think it is who I really am?”
Astor clapped his hands, “Oh, I’m so excited! I’m so excited!” ��He smacked his head, “Wait! I have to-” he checked his watch, “just enough time if I take the Saab.”
“Astor,” Christian chuckled, “what?”
Astor kissed Christian on the cheek, “I’ll be right back!” he ran out the door.
The boy cocked his head, watching him go, “What was that about?”
“I have no idea, honestly,” Christian said, and came around the table, “Get up and hug u your uncle.”
The boy laughed nervously, “Uncle.”
“Come on. Please?”
The boy stood up to hug the old man. It was a hardy bear squeeze. Christian took a look at his face, “I have a nephew!”
“Oh shit,” said the boy.
“Don’t swear,” said Christian.
“Sorry. But, nephew,” he grinned, “yeah! I’m a nephew? I guess. That’s cool.”
Christian pat him on the shoulder, “I guess this means I’ll have to do more man-centric activities with you. Uh. What do nephews do with their uncles? Fly-fishing?”
The boy wrinkled his nose, “I hate fishing. I think I’d hate fly-fishing even more.”
“Forget the fly fishing,” he looked him dead in the face, “I’ll take you to the barber.”
The boy touched his hair. It hung in a braid down the center of his back. “Mom and Dad will probably kill me if I cut my hair short.”
“Oh!” Christian said, “Right. They don’t know yet, do they?”
The boy looked away, ashamed. Before Christian could press, his cell phone rang.
“Yes? Dear? Oh! Oh! Yes! Of course!” his eyes slid sideways to the boy, “Honey! I mean, pal, what’s your name?”
“Uh,” the boy couldn’t help a smile, “what?”
“What’s your name! You’re not going by Clara anymore, right?” With a grimace he said, “Not that you can’t! You can still be Clara if you want to!”
“Oh!” the boy said, “oh uh, Clark?” There was a tinge, “No, no, no, no. Not Clark. Definitely not Clark.”
“Not Clark, got it. Astor?” Christian spoke to the phone, “I’m putting you on speakerphone.”
He set the phone one the counter and Astor’s voice came through, “Whatever name you’re comfortable with. You can change your mind later.”
The boy nodded, “Definitely not Clarence, though. I don’t want an old-man name.”
“Wow, excuse you,” Christian said.
“How about Clair?” Astor asked, “With an I?”
“I dunno. Can I do my middle name instead? Can I be like Nathan or something?”
“Nathan is great!” Astor said.
“No wait! Nate!” said the boy.
“Nate it is! Thanks, Nate!” Astor hung up.
The boy put his hands over his face. “What’s wrong, Nate?” Christian asked.
“He’s so happy.”
“Well, of course,” Christian frowned, “you have to understand, Nate, it was different for our generation. I spent way too many years buried in a closet. So seeing you, as a kid, knowing who you are and declaring it- it gives me hope.”
The boy peaked between his fingers, “I’m not gay, though.”
“No. But you’re letting yourself be who you really are. Do you know what a great gift that is?”
The boy hugged himself, frowning.
“Buddy. What’s wrong?”
“What if I’m like- what if I’m making it up?”
“Making it up?”
The boy frowned, and swung his arms, trying to get rid of some toxic energy that was building, “I mean. I dunno. Just. I did come out to my parents. I mean I tried to.”
Christian frowned, “Tried to, huh?”
The boy nodded.
“And what did they say?” Christian’s tone is disappointed.
The boy says, “Just that- that I’m wrong. That I’m a girl and,” he tucked some hair behind his ear, “I guess kind of implied that the reason I think different is because I’m ugly? And then mom turned around and said transexual people were sick.”
“Transgender,” Christian corrected, then shook his head, “Oh, Jen. And what did Ezra say?”
The boy shrugged; looked at the floor. Christian inhaled sharply, “Goddamnit, Ezra.”
“It doesn’t really matter, Uncle.”
“It does. You deserved more from your parents when you came out to them,” he hugged him again, “I know I’m not your Dad, but I’ll be the best gay uncle I can be,” his face lit up, “I know! You’ll be my best man!”
With Prop 8 history, Astor and Christian were, of course, legally married. They still intended to have a ceremony, though. They had it planned for the end of August so the kids could come.
“What about my Dad?”
“Eh,” Christian said, “I haven’t actually asked him yet. And now I’m sour at him. What do you say?”
“But I’ll have to be out, and in public front of my parents? With my dad wondering why his daughter is the best man instead of him?”
“Oh,” Christian put his hands down, “well, maybe not.”
“Sorry, Uncle.”
“It’s OK,” Christian smiled, “the closet is safer, sometimes. You’ll be my best man in spirit. You’ll definitely not be a flower girl, though.”
“Jeez, aren’t I a too old for that, anyway?”
“You’re right. We’ll save that for the triplets. And Hilda too, if she wants.”
“I think she’s too old, too,” the boy smiled, “but, it’s a deal, anyway. If you call it a casual wedding, I can wear a suit and my parents won’t freak out a lot.”
“Noted,” Christian said.
The boy sighed, and felt himself settle- finally- into his own bones. It was as if he’d been dragging along skin all this time that didn’t fit right, and finally he had made the right alterations for it to be comfortable. His uncle calling him stuff like ‘buddy’ and ‘nephew’ and ‘Nate’, the boy couldn’t think of a time he felt better.
“Listen,” Christian said, “if your Mom and Dad give you a hard time, come here, OK?”
“As in?”
“Live here.”
Nate blinked several times, “You mean that?”
“Absolutely. You deserve to be surrounded by people who let you be who you are.”
Nate felt his eyes fill up with water, “Jeezum.”
“Awww,” Christian hugged him, “cry it out, young man. Men aren’t afraid of tears.”
Nate sniffled, “Shut up.”
Hilda came into the kitchen in her zebra onesie and her puffy socks, grinning, but frowned when she saw the boy in tears, “Clara? Why you crying?”
Nate wiped his tears, “I’m just happy,” he blew his nose, “how was your finale?”
“Oh man,” Hilda sat at one of the stools, “I’m gonna miss her so much.”
“So what happened?” asked Christian.
“Well, Amelia went back to her own time, of course, which is good for her. But Ricky the Robot went with her and now they’ve opened up a flight school for girls in the 1930s? And it’s like,” she sighed, “why can’t I just keep following her adventures as an instructor?” she groaned, “I’m glad everybody’s happy, though.”
“Probably because Amelia Airhart is more interesting when she’s dogfighting aliens and stuff?” said Nate.
Hilda sighed, “I guess. So what have you guys been doing?”
Christian smiled, “Hey Hilda, guess what?”
“What?”
Christian looked to Nate, though, “Can I tell her?”
Nate laughed, “She already knows, dude.”
“I know what?”
“That you have a big brother instead of a big sister,” Christian said.
Hilda turned to Nate, “You came out to him? Without me being there?”
“Uh,” Nate tried to measure her tone, “Sorry? It just sort of happened. I didn’t know you were supposed to be there.”
“Astor knows, too,” Christian said, and smiled slyly, “he’ll be right back.”
“Oh man,” Hilda said, “how’d they take it?”
“Honestly? Thrilled,” Nate said.
“That’s great!” Hilda ran into a hug with him, “He came out to me first,” she said to Christian. This was clearly a point of pride for her, “sorry the name I suggested didn’t go down well, though.”
“It’s OK,” the boy said, “I think I’m gonna be Nate now.”
“Oh, that’s cool!”
“Yeah!”
The front door opened, revealing Astor. He had a very uncharacteristic grin all over his long face. He put a cake down on the counter.
We Love You, Nate! was icinged into the top.
Astor hugged Nate, “Happy coming out!”
“Wahhh,” Nate was just glad he hadn’t been eating anything at the time, “a whole cake? Because I came out to you?”
“Yeah! Consider this a coming out party!”
“Eh,” Christian waved his hands, “bad terminology. In this country, a coming out party is for a rich young woman.” Astor had a slight accent because he was an immigrant- a refugee, actually, forced out of his old country by war.
Astor frowned, “Well, that’s stupid. I think English needs to evolve in that area.”
“I can dig,” said Nate.
“Anyway,” said Astor, “when I came out as bisexual to my family, I got cake, so Nate deserves a cake, too,” he blushed, visibly, “I got really excited, though. Rushed out the door before I knew what name to put on it.”
Hilda laughed. Nate looked at the cake. It sure did give him a glowy feeling inside. But-
“Guys? What if I’m wrong? But if I think I’m a- a trans guy today, but then I realize like, I dunno, I’m just a lesbian or like, one of those people with five genders, or something?” he spidered his fingers. He felt guilty, now, to be making his uncles do all this stuff, especially if this wasn’t real.
Christian grinned, “Well, it doesn’t hurt to have more than one cake.”
“I dunno about that,” Astor said, “your doctor did tell you need to watch your sugar intake.”
Christian’s arms drooped, “Oh, come on.”
“Sorry,” Astor petted him on the back, “maybe the next time one of you kids figures out you’re queer, we’ll go bowling instead?”
“You old dictator,” Christian growls at Astor, but smiles at Nate, “but, I say, go with the flow. Nate, do you feel like a boy?”
Nate smiled, “Well, I know I really like it when you call me that.”
Christian smiled, “Well that’s a good hint. But at the end of the day, it’s up to you,” he squeezed his shoulder, “if you think you’re a boy, Nate, then you’re a boy, and there’s nothing we can do to change that.”
#around the queueniverse#mairzy posts#real toys#nathanael drosselmeyer#christian drosselmeyer#astor shahab#swanhilde drosselmeyer#jennifer drosselmeyer#ezra drosselmeyer#prose#i mean Nathanael does admit he likes guys later but i guess he leans more towards being attracted to girls?#also fuck so#this story takes place in another universe#and in said universe amelia earhart never existed#as a real person#she is a cartoon character tho#hey lets play a game of catch the dingo pictures reference
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So, Apparently, I Find Fairies Hot Chapter 7
Rated: T
Fandom: Original Fiction
Relationship type: Male/Male
Description: You know those movies and TV shows in which an effeminate gay character has a crush on the popular jock? Strike that, reverse it.
Daniel is technically popular at school but fades into the crowd. After an injury at footy (Australian football) practice, he is forced to focus on improving his grades, starting with English. Luckily, the new kid in school knows a lot about Shakespeare and is willing to tutor him. Now if only this new guy wasn’t so attractive.
CONTENT WARNING: Homophobic slurs are used. Also, there are some sexual references but nothing too graphic.
Chapter 7: Is it gay to kiss a guy?
Eddie fluffed the pillows Daniel gave him. He felt weird sleeping in his own clothes even with the accessories taken off, but he had a feeling Daniel’s pyjamas would be too big for him. Plus, the thought of wearing his clothes weirded him out for some reason. Why? He had no clue. It wasn’t like he was into jocks anymore so it didn’t matter. Daniel was just a friend, so it wasn’t like it’d be awkward.
Then again, the way Daniel looked at him was… suspicious. Honestly, if Eddie had to be some sort of closet key again, he’d probably end up throwing something into a wall. Fuck that.
He was lying in Daniel’s bed, trying to ignore the way the sheets smelled of leftover cologne, while Daniel sat on a small mattress on the floor.
Eddie fell asleep fairly quickly. He started having a dream in which a certain guy started kissing him and feeling him up.
Daniel heard a moan and looked up, seeing Eddie pucker his lips. ‘Yes, kiss me.’ Daniel stood up and walked up to him, still half asleep. He slowly leaned in closer.
Eddie’s lips were soft, as expected. Daniel felt his own lips tingle as shivers swam through his body. Eddie grinned and kissed Daniel back eagerly, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and pulling him closer with his hands. Daniel moved his lips towards Eddie’s neck, taking in the smell of his surprisingly masculine cologne and feeling his blood rush south.
‘Mm, yeah, Julian, kiss… ah, kiss me more!’
Daniel pushed himself off the bed, his body shaking and his eyes the size of a madman’s. Eddie opened his eyes and covered his mouth when he saw Daniel.
‘Who… who’s Julian?’ Daniel whimpered.
Eddie sat up, let go of his mouth and stared at his hands as if he had just committed murder. ‘A… YouTuber.’ He was too shocked at himself to give a spiel explaining this YouTuber’s content.
All Daniel could say in reply was, ‘Oh.’
The open hands turned into fists as Eddie held on tightly to the sheets. ‘The fuck were you trying to pull? I was asleep!’
‘I… I didn’t know! I thought you were telling me to kiss you.’
‘And why would I do that? You think I’m willing to kiss just any guy? Huh? You think I don’t have standards? You think I’m here so every guy looking to experiment can have a go? What the fuck is wrong with you?’
Daniel said nothing even though he wanted to say everything. He wanted to spill out his feelings. He wanted to thank him for opening his eyes to so much of the world from metal to Shakespeare to the lives of LGBT people. He even wanted to argue back and tell him that he wasn’t just looking to ‘experiment’ and he felt offended that he assumed that about him.
But he kept his mouth shut. He was still shaking as he lied back down on the mattress on the floor and closed his eyes as if nothing had happened. He heard the rustle of sheets and could tell Eddie had turned around so his back was facing him.
The next day, they ate breakfast silently and Eddie only spoke to thank Daniel’s mother for letting him stay. He left without so much as a glance at Daniel.
Daniel’s mother did something unexpected for such a busy woman. She sat at the table next to her son.
‘Shy guy, huh?’ she asked with a laugh.
Daniel scrunched his face to prevent tears. ‘He’s… not usually like that,’ he said as he took another mouthful of his cereal.
‘Who is he again? I hope he’s not the one who made you leave the hospital before you were supposed to, Daniel.’ She glared at him as she said his name.
‘Eddie.’ He took another bite.
‘Sexually confusing Eddie?’ Daniel almost choked on his cereal. ‘Should I have let him stay the night?’
‘Mum! He’s not interested in me anyway.’ He didn’t ask his mother how she didn’t hear them the previous night. She was probably taking work calls late into the night despite her shift being over.
She tapped his hand and stood up, going back to her usual routine. ‘Mum?’
‘Yes?’
‘Can… can we… talk more?’
‘I haven’t really got much time at the moment-’
‘I don’t mean right now. I just mean… in general.’
His mother stared at him like he had dropped a bombshell. ‘Are you sure? You don’t get embarrassed by your fuddy-duddy mother? What kind of teenage boy are you?’
‘I feel like… sometimes I need to talk to someone.’
‘What about your friends?’
‘Anybody but my friends.’
His mother dropped her handbag and fumbled with it to prevent it from falling to the ground. ‘Some friends they are, then. Look, I have to go,’ she said before kissing him on his forehead. ‘I’ll talk to you later.’
Daniel smiled for the first time that morning.
Eddie was loud as ever at school, just not to Daniel. At lunch he hung around a group of girls and talked about makeup, never looking at the dumb experimenter. One girl asked where the boy was and he shrugged. The girls didn’t ask further questions even though they were curious.
James noticed that Daniel wasn’t sitting on the couch like usual and went outside, seeing the boy sitting on the concrete with his knees up to his chin.
‘The fuck’s up with you? Your little Eddie-boy probably misses you.’
‘Shut up.’
James sat down next to him, his straight legs resting on the ground. ‘What happened? He try to put the moves on you?’
‘He’s not like that.’
‘Prove it. Seriously, the guy creeps me out sometimes. So what happened?’
Fire spread through Daniel’s veins, causing him to drop his knees and straighten them out like James’ legs. He replayed what his mother said about friends yesterday morning and felt like punching James in the face. But then he realised something. What was the point? Punching him got him nowhere last time. He saw one option fall under the spotlight: talk.
‘He rejected me.’
‘Wait, what? Who rejected who? You must be joking.’
Daniel turned his head away and crossed his arms. ‘Well, it’s true.’
‘Who’s he think he is?’
Daniel whipped his head back towards James. ‘Huh?’
‘I mean, I did find it weird for you to be suddenly so obsessed with the guy, but I always thought he liked you back or something. I dunno. If you ask me, he should be grateful you even noticed him. Your tastes are weird, honestly. A little fairy like him... who knew he’d be so uppity and reject you?’
Daniel sighed. ‘I guess different gay guys have different tastes. It’s almost like they’re individuals or something.’
James stared at him like someone had replaced Daniel with a louder clone. He burst out laughing, patting Daniel hard on the back.
‘Fair enough,’ he said as he wiped a tear from his eye, slowing down his laughter. ‘So, uh, does your mum know you’re gay?’
‘I’m not gay.’
‘Wha... you just told me... the fuck are you on about? You’re as straight as a bowling ball. Or what, is Eddie secretly a girl or something? Wouldn’t surprise me.’
‘I’m... bisexual,’ Daniel confessed, looking away again and scrunching his face. He thought if his face was too loose that tears would burst from his eyes. After eventually relaxing his facial muscles, he felt utterly weightless. No tears, no pain, nothing.
‘Nah, man. I think you’re gay. When you touch a dick, you never go back.’
Daniel smirked. ‘You know from experience?’
James lightly nudged Daniel in the ribs. ‘Not what I meant. But seriously, I don’t really believe in that stuff. Pick a side.’
‘Well, I liked my girlfriends. And now I like Eddie. Makes sense to me.’ Daniel reached another epiphany. ‘You know what? Fuck it. I don’t need to prove myself to you. Think whatever you want.’
Despite this statement, Daniel still looked at James expecting anger or offence. Instead, James was laughing again. He stood and stretched his arms like he was about to yawn.
‘Well, see you later.’
He walked back inside, leaving Daniel to think. Daniel’s skin was on fire. Is this what bravery felt like? Or maybe pride? Either way, it felt addictive.
He stood up, his legs shaking but his heart elated. He headed inside, determined not to let seeing Eddie get to him.
This didn’t turn out quite as planned. When he saw Eddie in the room he froze, his arms stuck to his sides and his shoulders up to the sky. His blood boiled seeing him clearly ignore him and his hands ached to touch his porcelain face, but he felt some mysterious force blocking that anger and lust, leaving his blood to feel like it was building up in his body.
A hand on his shoulder broke him out of his... he couldn’t lie as it was blatantly a trance. He turned his head and saw James.
‘Dude, chill.’
Daniel nodded but felt his blood get even hotter at the command.
‘He’s not worth your time,’ James added.
‘Who’s not worth whose time?’ Another guy from the footy team asked, getting off the couch.
James opened his mouth but Daniel glared at him.
‘Sorry,’ James said to him. The other guy stared at Daniel with visible question marks in his eyes.
Daniel sighed. ‘Fuck it. Fuck... everything.’
He looked at Eddie one last time and remembered that night. He wondered what he would say if he had a second chance to clear his name and tell Eddie the truth. Then again, he had a feeling that looking directly at Eddie would cause the same fuckup to occur. He wished he could get his feelings across without talking to him directly. He had to prove how much he was willing to risk to be with him.
He coughed, looking around the room. He took a deep breath. ‘E-excuse me, everyone! I’d like to say something!’
No one heard him. He hung his head. ‘Quiet!’ He looked up and grinned when he heard James’ shout. Everyone turned their heads and James pointed to Daniel.
Daniel took another deep breath. ‘Um, so, uh, I have something I’d like to share with you all. It’s something that, uh, took me a long time to realise.’ His shoulders lowered as he got used to his own speech. He still looked at anyone else but Eddie. ‘A stupidly long time, really. Like, my mind is boggled at how blind I’d been. I had this friend whose girlfriend I hated. With a burning passion. I didn’t really know why, only that the very sight of her made me want to chuck up my food.’
‘Get on with it!’ Some girl yelled.
Daniel started retreating back into his shell until James gave him a light slap on the back.
‘It’s hard to say, but I, uh, guess I should stop putting it off. I’m bisexual. That friend? I liked him without even knowing it. By refusing to see this I screwed up my chances and even after realising it I screwed up my chances with another guy by being unable to admit it.’ He felt himself tear up and his first instinct was to scrunch his face and prevent the tears from falling, but then he saw Eddie, watching him with the widest eyes he had ever seen on him. He let his tears out.
‘Eddie, I’m really sorry about what happened earlier. It’s... it’s okay if you still hate me after this. I get it, I really do, but I think you deserve the truth. I wasn’t making assumptions about you and I definitely wasn’t just looking to experiment. I... I really like you. I fucked up, and I hope we can go back to being friends because I’m honestly fine with that.
‘You don’t have to feel the same way I do, I just hope you forgive me. I want to hear you talk about metal and teach me Shakespeare. I want to smile and laugh with you because your laugh is really cute. Most of all I just want to be honest with people for once in my life.’ He shut his mouth and felt panic creep in when he realised he had nothing else to say. ‘So, um, yeah.’
A couple of people clapped, their applause quickly and sheepishly dying down. Most just went about their business. A few girls surrounded him.
‘That was really brave of you,’ one of them said and the others echoed a similar statement.
Daniel looked between the girls to search for Eddie, who gave him a sad look before going outside. His heart kept crumbling faster than the high he felt could repair it.
What he didn’t see was Eddie standing against the wall outside with his hand on his chest and a pained smile onto his face.
They didn’t share any classes so they didn’t see each other until the next day, and even then Eddie didn’t talk to him until after school, when he tapped him on the shoulder and asked him if they could chat.
Daniel waited for Eddie to talk, wondering why he was just standing there. When everyone else had left the lockers, Eddie looked left to right a couple of times then grabbed Daniel by the collar of his shirt, pushing him into the locker.
Once again Eddie’s lips were soft. Daniel immediately closed his eyes and left his hands in the air before eventually running them through Eddie’s hair.
Eddie let go and smirked. ‘That was payback.’ When he saw tears seeping out of Daniel’s eyes as he covered his own mouth, Eddie stepped back. ‘Sorry. Did I go too far? I’ll go.’ He turned around but Daniel grabbed his arm. He faced him and, when Daniel lowered the arm covering his mouth, Eddie saw a smile underneath the crying eyes.
‘Don’t. I’m... just so happy... that you’re willing to talk to me again.’
Eddie chuckled. ‘You’re adorable. I guess I was wrong.’ Daniel looked at him like he said a word in another language.
‘Huh?’
’Well, I was thinking about yesterday and wondering if maybe I was wrong about the whole ‘jocks not being my type’ thing. I don’t know. I guess I just thought sporty guys were dumb or some stupid shit like that. Sorry for thinking that. And for saying you’re straight. I could tell you were at least a little into me so for me to call you that was also stupid. I was trying not to give you a label you weren’t ready for but that didn’t quite work. I mean, seriously, Eddie? It’s probably not a straight guy experimenting if he has an actual crush on you. I guess I was the dumb one.’
Eddie laughed a little, the sound caressing Daniel’s ears, before continuing. ‘Are you sure you like me enough to date me?’ Daniel nodded. Eddie’s eyes moved away from Daniel’s direction, grabbing the sleeve of Daniel’s shirt and rubbing the fabric between his fingers. He then looked at Damien with wide, hopeful eyes. ‘For how long? How long would you like to date?’
The confused look on Daniel’s face eased Eddie’s mind. ‘For as long as we can stay together, I guess. I hope we go on more than one date, if that’s what you’re asking.’
‘So, uh, are there any... I don’t know... movies you want to see? Or wait, maybe you’d rather go to a footy game or something. I don’t know much about footy since I never bothered to follow it, but you could always teach me.’
Daniel’s smile grew. ‘Sure. I’ll message you if there’s a game I want to go to. So who are you going to go for? I’m a St Kilda man.’ Eddie shrugged and Daniel leaned in closer, causing Eddie’s cheeks to turn pink. ‘You seem like you’d be a Collingwood supporter. I mean, your face and hair make you look like their colours.’
Eddie crossed his arms. ‘Very funny. I’ll research all the clubs and get back to you.’
Daniel laughed. ‘You don’t have to do that.’
‘It’s only fair. I taught you about metal, you can teach me about footy.’
#bisexual#romance#gay#writing#LGBT#LGBT romance#yaoi#drama#original fiction#fiction#Breaking Stereotypes#So Apparently I Find Fairies Hot
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can you just take this snippet of TSLZ and sketch and pretend I did something? I wanted to post for all of the coming out week but I only have time for like.. two?
Anyway here lol:
Rating: T
Fic: Tomato Soup and Lemon zest
Chapter: 2/6
Adrinath August Day 15 I guess lol
“Oh my God,” Adrien fell back on his bed, hugging his pillow to his face to suppress the ever waiting wail he’d let out.
Plagg blinked at him slowly while chewing on a slice of Camembert. He could almost see the red in Adrien’s face burning through the cushion.
“Plagg…”
“Yeah?”
“Plaaaaaggg…”
“Um, yeah?”
“PLAA-”
“YEAH. OK. Adrien, I’m listening… just say whatever it is before I stop caring.”
Adrien sighed, sitting up suddenly and resting his head in his hands. “Plagg, what have I done?” He groaned, “Did you see the way he looked at me?! Why am I so stupid?!”
“I dunno, but why did it take you so long to realize this?”
“That I’m stupid?”
“No, that you were putting on the dumbest show back there.”
“Not helping!” Adrien reached back at flung a pillow at Plagg.
Plagg laughed as he dodged. “What was it you said right before you left? ‘Don't miss me too much’? I would've paid a million bucks to see the face he made one more time.”
Adrien felt like throwing up. He had ended up flirting with Nathaniel so heavily that he might as well have slapped him in the ass and whispered ‘meet me at my place’ in his ear.
He didn't know where it had come from. Well, he knew how he'd become attracted to Nathaniel. Just one partner class assignment and he couldn't stop smiling at the mention of his name. The moment he had a chance to talk to him again it felt like his heart was a news broadcast and someone had snatched the mic from his hand to shout ‘fuckerightinthepussy’.
Adrien wanted to snort at the meme he had recalled, but he was too busy panicking.
He slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out his phone, instantly flipping it upright and pressing the home button in one swift movement.
His thumb hovered over Nino’s name before he caught himself. He couldn't call Nino, he didn't even know about this. He tapped on Alya.
No answer.
Didn't Alya live on her phone? What the hell was he supposed to do now? Was he willing to tell Marinette? She wouldn't be as bad as Nino, and she was honest, so if she made a promise she wouldn't break it. She'd probably understand, after all she knew a thing or two about having a crush.
Screw it.
The phone picked up almost immediately, making Adrien jump.
“Hey, Adrien, this is a pleasant surprise. You never call me,” Marinette’s voice was gentle and relaxed. Adrien didn't feel insecure anymore.
But he was still a nervous wreck of course. “Ha! Yeah, hey Marinette… guess I don't call you, huh?”
“So, what's up?”
“I wanted to tell you something- oh, but you have to promise to keep it a secret! Even from Nino, I'm afraid… but I just need to talk to someone about this.”
“Are you coming out to me?”
“Uh, well, that’s not exactly-”
“I FUCKING KNEW IT.”
“I-”
“You have it bad for Nathaniel don’t you?”
There was a pause on Adrien’s side. He gasped abruptly, “Did Alya tell you?!”
“No, it was just obvious. Don’t hate me but one time, when it looked like I was texting someone, I was actually filming you so that I could subtly drop Nathaniel’s name and watch your face light up. Here, I’ll send it to you.”
Adrien tapped on the notification ‘MARINETTE HAS SENT YOU A VIDEO’.
“DELETE THAT VIDEO RIGHT NOW.”
Marinette snickered. “Nope.”
“Come on, that’s so embarrassing!”
“I didn’t know you were capable of embarrassment. I mean, you’re the one who took a picture in your underwear and plastered it on the cover of a magazine.”
Adrien let out an impatient sigh, “First of all, it’s not like that was my idea, and second-”
“Alright, alright, I’m sorry. I’ll delete it…”
“Thank you.”
“After I save it to my laptop.”
“Hey! You hang around Alya too much…”
“I do, thank you.”
“So… um…”
“Uhuh, we were talking about your gayness.”
“About that, I didn’t even know about it? That’s why I didn’t really see this as coming out or anything, it all happened so fast, I met Nathaniel and he just- like a truck- he just-”
“Caught you by surprise?”
“...Yeah…”
“Don’t worry, I get it. All too well. So, otherwise you had no idea you were into guys?”
“Not at all. In fact I’m pretty sure I’m still into girls… at least at some point, I’ve met a couple girls I found cute.”
“Naturally. Alya and I are touched that you find us cute by the way.”
Adrien laughed. “You’re welcome? But, no offense, you didn’t make me feel the same as Nathaniel, you know?”
“I mean, that’s the whole point of falling for someone, Adrien.”
“Right but, I’m a little confused about my sexuality right now…”
Marinette took a deep breath, audible over the phone. “Look, as your friendly neighborhood bi, I can confirm that it sounds like you too are a bisexual. Welcome to the club. But you’re the only one who can figure yourself out, don’t just take my word for it.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot that was a thing…”
“What the hell? Are you serious?”
“Kidding. But I just wasn’t sure because I don’t feel like I’m equally attracted to guys and girls?”
“That’s completely normal,” Marinette chuckled, “But anyway, I’m pretty sure you intended to talk about something else?”
“Right…”
Adrien told Marinette everything. From the awkward hello to the cringey goodbye. He felt surprisingly better after venting to her, and he wanted to do it more often.
“You mentioned Chat Noir a lot…” Marinette smiled so hard Adrien swore he could hear it.
“Yeah, and? I wanted to see if he had a type, and I consider myself to be very similar to Chat Noir.”
Marinette snorted. “Yeah, right! You wish!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well, you’re great and all, Adrien, but according to the story you just told me… you aren’t nearly as slick as Chat Noir.”
It took every bone in Adrien’s body to refrain from yelling into the phone ‘I AM CHAT NOIR’. Instead he just mumbled, “Thanks a lot, Marinette.”
“No! Adrien, I didn’t mean- ok, here’s what I think about you and Nathaniel. Maybe your moves wouldn’t have charmed me, but I don’t have a single doubt that Nathaniel is thinking about you just as much as you are of him. Whatever it is you wanted to do about it, just do it! There’s no point moping around and waiting…” Marinette’s voice seemed to go faint as she finished speaking, as though she had to convince herself of her own words.
Adrien knew she was right. It didn’t take him long to think about it, thank Marinette, and take a chance.
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[Miraculous Ladybug]: Trying to Get Bi
this is a very silly one-shot for @ladyserendipitous ‘s birthday (belated only bc finals are a terror). she pitched this idea to me a while ago, so i finally got the chance to write something for it :P
oh, also shoutout to @mahaliciously for the french celebrity suggestions! click on the celeb names for pics (praying the links work)
--
Link to Archive of Our Own: [AO3]
--
Title: Trying to Get Bi
Summary:
“Alright. How about Adrien Agreste?”
Chat Noir sat up abruptly and stared at Ladybug over his shoulder. “Say what now?”
"Let's hear it," Ladybug encouraged. "Hot or Not? He totally seems your type.”
Chat Noir opened his mouth, closed it, and winced. “Eeehhhh, I dunno. T-That’s kind of a….a hard question.”
Featuring: Bi!Ladybug and Bi!Chat Noir, a billboard of Adrien Agreste, a game of celebrity Hot or Not?, and a very awkward reveal.
Trying to Get Bi
“Okay, what about….ah, Vanessa Paradis.”
Ladybug took a bite of fudge. “Not,” she said with her mouthful. “Not that she’s not pretty, just not my type.”
Chat Noir hummed in agreement and plucked his own square of fudge from the Tom & Sabine’s box that was sitting in between them. “I might have to go Not too,” he decided. “Amazing model, probably go on a date with her, but that’s it.”
“Oh!” Ladybug perked up. “Marion Cotillard.”
Chat Noir snorted. “Um. Hot. Way hot. Not even a question. If she so much as even spoke to me, I’d probably self combust.”
“Same!” Ladybug laughed. “She has the most beautiful eyes, I just want her to stare at me from across a candlelit dinner before she takes me home.”
“Takes you home to do what? ” Chat Noir cackled.
Ladybug lifted her chin and shrugged. “If you’re suggesting that I’m thinking something improper, you’re completely wrong. I’m a gentlewoman.”
“Uh huh,” Chat Noir deadpanned. “The same gentlewoman that didn’t curse out a tourist for taking pictures of her chest the other day?”
“Shut up,” Ladybug snorted. “He deserved it.”
“Cheers to that.” They both held up their squares of fudge and tapped them in a toast before finishing them off in one bite. “Speaking of men,” Chat Noir continued, “Jean Dujardin.”
“Absolutely,” Ladybug nodded. “Hot. My best friend was telling me the other day that he was ‘too old’ and I looked at her like she was crazy.”
“Okay thank you because my best friend also said he’s not hot. Which. Have you seen him?”
“Ridiculously handsome.”
“ Supremely handsome! Bless my soul if I ever aged as gracefully as that.”
Ladybug reached up and stroked Chat’s bare chin. “You with scruff? That’d be hilarious.”
“Um. I could pull off scruff. I’m a very mature and upstanding cat.”
“Please, you’re totally baby faced, I’ll believe you can pull off facial hair when I see it.”
“Excuse me, but I’ll have you know I have exactly three hairs growing on my chin.” He moved in closer and tipped his head back so that she could see. “Look! Don’t they make me look manly and irresistible?”
Ladybug squinted. “I don’t see anything, so I guess that answers that question.”
Chat Noir gasped and pressed a scandalized hand to his chest. “ Rude! ”
Ladybug held the box of fudge away from him, stuck her tongue out, and squealed when Chat Nor got up and started chasing her across the roof that they were just laying out on. “It’s not my fault you can’t handle the truth, Chat!”
“The betrayal!” he shouted after her, laughing when they jumped across a narrow alleyway onto the next apartment building. “I thought we were Bi Besties!”
Ladybug rolled her eyes as she scaled the slanted roof and sat on top of a windowsill. “Stop trying to make Bi Besties happen. It’s super corny.”
Chat Noir laid out against the shingles of the roof right underneath where Ladybug was sitting, and stared up at her with a wicked grin. “Bi Besties is the perfect superhero name for us. It’s accurate, inclusive, and proclaims us as role models for the questioning youth. They look up to us, you know.”
“Look it’s fine as an inside joke, but how are adults supposed to take us seriously when you go on national television and present us as the Bi Besties?”
“You were so into it.”
“I mean, yeah,” Ladybug grumbled. “Right up until I had news reporters coming up to me the other day asking me about my sexuality.” She cleared her throat and deepened her voice until she was mimicking a snooty, television reporter. “Mmm, so Ladybug, would you say that your bisexuality affects your superhero work?”
Chat Noir rolled onto his back and laughed boisterously. “What did that even mean? I saw it on the news after the fight and it was the most cringeworthy thing I’ve seen in my life.”
Ladybug pressed the back of her hand to her forehead. “Oh heavens! An akuma! I sure hope my simultaneous appreciation for men and women won’t get in the way of taking it down!”
Chat Noir clasped his hands together under his chin. “It’s simply too much, Ladybug. My brain can’t possibly think of a way out of this sticky situation. There are too many thoughts of men and women swirling around in there, I can’t bring myself to concentrate!”
“Do you think straight people really think that?” Ladybug asked.
“I’d have to ask a straight person.” Chat Noir opened his mouth and leaned his head back. “Fudge me!”
Ladybug plucked off a piece of fudge, aimed, and managed to land the piece directly in Chat’s mouth. He lifted both of his fists in victory and cheered into the sky while Ladybug chuckled and opened up their second box of fudge. “Next time we decide to bum around on a Sunday, I’m bringing macarons. You’ve been having too much chocolate lately. How are you going to fit into that cat suit of yours?”
“Don’t body shame me, Ladybug, I’m a growing boy. I need sugar. By the way, it’s your turn.”
She searched the sky for another celebrity name. “Ah, Gaspard Ulliel.”
Chat Noir waited for her to pass him a full square of fudge before he answered. “Hot. He looks like he’d treat me right.”
Ladybug wrinkled her nose. “Not. Sorry.”
“What?”
“He has squinty eyes!”
“The squinty eyes of an angel!”
“Statement stands.”
“Whatever,” he grumbled. “What about Louane? The singer.”
“Hot,” Ladybug declared. “She’s such a cutie pie. Absolute sweetheart.”
“I’m gonna have to go with Not on this one. She’s cute, but it’s like she’s….too cute? Too nice?”
“And that’s a bad thing?”
“I like woman who would be happy to step on my face or have the power to murder me.”
“Oh my God,” Ladybug snickered. “Is someone like Nolwenn Leroy up your alley?”
“A thousand times yes,” Chat Noir said enthusiastically. “I’d happily let her murder me.”
“Same,” Ladybug giggled. “You know, the more we play this, the more I’m getting a sense of your type. Omar Sy seems your type.”
“An impossibly attractive man with a beautiful smile? Hell yes. Dream husband, to be honest.”
Ladybug tapped a finger to her chin. “I’m gonna say….no on Baptiste Giabiconi.”
“Right again,” Chat Noir nodded. “I dunno, too intense for my tastes. I’d probably date him once just to say I did because, hello, amazing, rich, and popular model. But I need a man who’s gonna go the distance.”
“So a kindhearted but ridiculously attractive model that’s not too sweet but not too intense?” Ladybug asked.
“Oh for sure. Especially if they were around my age? That’d be great.”
Ladybug wracked her brain for another celebrity that would fit Chat Noir’s specifications, but in an almost uncanny twist of fate, her eyes happened to land on a huge billboard poster about five or so rooftops away featuring Adrien Agreste and Gabriel’s new Teen Fall Fashion line. As often as they played these celebrity Hot or Not games whenever they had downtime, Ladybug never bothered to bring up Adrien Agreste. It just seemed weird to bring someone into those kinds of games that she had such a huge crush on in real life and who also happened to be such a close friend of hers, so she never bothered.
But it was just a silly little game, and his billboard poster was right there being so completely obvious. Plus, if she had to be honest, Adrien Agreste seemed exactly like Chat Noir’s type. So she tapped Chat Noir on the shoulder with her foot and pointed at the billboard. “Alright. How about Adrien Agreste?”
Chat Noir sat up abruptly and stared at Ladybug over his shoulder. “Say what now?”
“Adrien Agreste,” Ladybug replied simply, turning his head toward the poster with her foot. “The Gabriel model. Gabriel Agreste’s son. He’s been on the cover of I don’t know how many teen magazines. Have you not heard of him?”
“N-No, I have!” Chat Noir stuttered. “Uh, yeah I uh….have a friend who knows a lot about him.”
“Alright, let’s hear it,” Ladybug encouraged. “Hot or Not? He totally seems your type.”
Chat Noir opened his mouth, closed it, and winced. “Eeehhhh, I dunno. T-That’s kind of a….a hard question.”
“Really?” she asked in confusion. “Why?”
He crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged. “I just, you know, it’s a little weird. Um, because you see my friend. See she talks about him a lot . So it’s just. I hear so much about him? And it’s kind of awkward. I guess. Sort of. Maybe.”
“Awkward….”
“Yeah. A little….i-inappropriate, if you will.”
Ladybug lifted a brow. “Chat, we literally had a twenty minute conversation yesterday about our dream weddings with Emmanuel Macron and he’s our new President. How is Adrien Agreste more awkward and inappropriate than that?”
“It just is!” Chat Noir defended lamely. “I-I dunno, sometimes you just, y-you just don’t have opinions on things.”
Ladybug crossed her leg and cradled her chin in her hand. “This is so bizarre,” she breathed out in awe. “I thought for sure we’d feel the same about him.”
Chat Noir turned his entire body around, his eyes looking a little desperate and frantic. “F-Feel the same?” He cleared his throat and fiddled with the part in his bangs. “How, uh, how do you feel about him?”
“Totally Hot,” Ladybug said decisively. “Plus, I heard he’s around our age, and he lives right here in Paris. So he’s totally within my league.”
Chat Noir inhaled sharply and started choking on his spit, banging on his chest to clear his lungs. “Wait,” he croaked out. “Y-Y-You think he’s hot!? Like hot hot?”
“Yeah?” Ladybug frowned. “What’s up with you? I’m surprised you don’t have an opinion of him.”
“I didn’t know you did!”
Ladybug shrugged. “Well, he never came up. But yeah he’s….absolutely charming. So handsome. A beautiful smile. Talented. And he seems like just the sweetest person in the whole world. Remember the akuma Jackady? When he was targeting Gabriel Agreste? I got to spend some time with Adrien amidst all the chaos and he was a complete delight. He seemed a little nervous to talk to me but I thought it was really adorable. I don’t mean to gush, but he just seems like a really special person. Really humble and down to earth for someone who’s so famous.”
She’d accidentally been staring at his billboard poster when she said all that, and she had to shake her head and sober herself up a little bit to not make her crush on him too obvious. But when she looked down at Chat, she found him staring up at her with a flabbergasted look on his face, a flush spreading all the way from his cheeks under his mask to the very tips of his ears. He bit down on his bottom lip and swallowed, tail swishing nervously behind him.
“Are you okay?” she asked him worriedly.
Chat Noir shook his head and covered his cheeks with one hand. “Yeah,” he spoke through his fingers. “I’m. No, I’m fine. Just, um. You must….really like him.”
Ladybug set aside the box of sweets and stepped down from her perch on the windowsill, settling down on the rooftop right in front of Chat. “You’re blushing.”
“A-Am I?” he said, his voice sounding oddly high-pitched. “I hadn’t noticed.”
Ladybug squinted her eyes suspiciously. “This is so weird, I’ve never seen you this flustered over another person before. Do you have a crush on him?”
“No, no way, definitely not!” Chat Noir quickly insisted. “I-It’s just, you know….kinda like….rating your best bud or something.”
“You’re best friends with him?”
“No!”
“So….you know him?”
“I mean…. know is such a strong word, don’t you think?”
Ladybug smirked. “I know you’re trying to divert attention away from this, but now I’m starting to think you’ve got some really juicy reason for not wanting to tell me whether you think he’s attractive.”
Chat Noir floundered around wordlessly for a moment before shutting his mouth, lifting both of his hands, and walking away from Ladybug towards the other end of the roof. “Nope. Not doing this. Nu uh.”
“Oh come on!” Ladybug giggled. “You can tell me! Do you know him from somewhere? Do you have this super big embarrassing crush on him and you don’t want me to know?”
“Why are you so fascinated by this?” Chat Noir asked. “It’s not that big a deal, is it?”
“Adrien Agreste is objectively gorgeous, and the fact that you’re reluctant to admit that is super fascinating.” She pouted her lips and bounced on her toes. “ Please? It’s Sunday and we have nothing to do, you’re telling me you can’t dish out some gossip? You love gossip!”
“I’ve got nothing gossip worthy on him, honest!” Chat Noir swore. “I just….feel like there’s a line when it comes to these sorts of games, you know?”
Ladybug snorted. “Oh, since when are you such a party pooper? The only lines in this game are family members and ourselves, and you don’t fall into any of those categories anyway — ”
“Hey! Look at that! It’s a full moon!” Chat Noir interrupted, pointing at the sky almost desperately. “Isn’t that amazing? A full moon! Hey, let’s talk about the moon for a bit, huh? Won’t that be fun, like. Just. Talking about the moon and it’s….fullness?”
She wanted to say that Chat Noir had almost as big a crush on Adrien as Ladybug did, but in all honesty, she had no idea why he was being so secretive and acting so awkward. That being said, it seemed like a delightfully rare occurrence and she was never one for missing out on an opportunity to tease her partner, especially when he was turning this red over it.
Ladybug clasped her hands behind her back. “Hey Chat?”
He flinched when he heard her voice and stopped his pacing. “Uh. Yes Ladybug?”
“If you were related to a successful, world-renowned fashion designer who lives right here in Paris, you’d tell me, right?”
Chat Noir covered his ears with his hands. “You know I can’t do that Ladybug, it’s against our code!”
“There’s probably a whole dynasty of Agrestes, I won’t be able to tell who you are if you just admit you’re a part of it,” Ladybug laughed. “It makes so much sense! You already have the blond hair and those high cheekbones. I bet you get invited to all the Fashion Week parties and you never even told me. The nerve.”
“Wait, cheekbones, you think I have their cheekbones?” Chat Noir asked. “Is it that obvious?”
“Oh totally ,” Ladybug joked. “If anything, you and Adrien Agreste have the most startling similarity out of that whole family. I bet that’s why you’re too embarrassed to admit he’s attractive. The family resemblance is just too huge.”
“ Really!? ” Chat Noir exclaimed worriedly. “I-I mean, we’re not that alike. Our….our hair is so different Ladybug, like, wow , totally out of this world different it’s crazy. I think you’re being a little overdramatic.”
Ladybug got closer to him so that she could grab his chin and turn his face left and right. “Nah, you two could be twins for sure. I mean we might as well plant your face on that billboard. It wouldn’t look any different.” She gave a dramatic gasp. “Oh my god, that’s it! You must be his twin.”
“Ladybug you’re being ridiculous that’s just. Crazy talk! You know that, right?”
She covered her mouth with one hand. “No! I’ve got it! It all makes sense! You must be Adrien Agreste!”
Chat Noir shook his head and stared at Ladybug in abject horror. “Wait, what!? ”
“It’s the only logical explanation, I mean why would anyone rate themselves, right?” Ladybug smirked. “To think that this entire time you’ve been this sweet, darling model by day and a sarcastic goofball by night. What a transformation. Really. Bravo.”
Chat Noir’s hands flew up to his hair and started yanking on it by the roots, and watching him get so flustered was probably the funniest thing Ladybug had seen all week. She chortled into her hand while she watched him stare back and forth between her and the billboard photo as if he were actually trying to convince himself that her ridiculous joke may actually be real. Such a drama queen. But then, Chat Noir completely surprised her when he dragged his hands down his cheeks and whined, “But how did you even figure it out?”
Ladybug sobered up and blinked. “Wait, what?”
Chat Noir’s jaw snapped shut and his eyes widened. “....nothing,” he squeaked.
“Wait a minute, figure what out?”
“Nothing! I said nothing!”
Ladybug felt her jaw dropping and couldn’t stop her brain from putting together the pieces. “Wait a minute. Wait, wait, wait, y-you’re not….are you actually….oh my God, no way!”
“You were the one making it sound like you knew!” he defended. “You just said it!”
“I was kidding!” Ladybug screamed. “I thought we were just messing around, I didn’t think you actually thought I was serious!”
“I thought you knew and you were just trying to tease the answer out of me!”
“I wouldn’t joke about something like this if I actually knew, obviously I was kidding around!”
“Well I guess I’m just bad at picking up signals then!”
Ladybug held up both of her hands. “Stop, stop,” she begged. “Hold on. Hooold on. You’re telling me….you’re telling me that you’re Adrien Agreste?”
Chat Noir shrugged helplessly, trying to come up with a decent response to the question, but he merely let his shoulders drop and sighed, accepting the inevitable. “I….well….y-yeah. Yeah. I’m. I’m Adrien Agreste. There. Secret’s out.”
Ladybug stayed stunned for a few seconds, promptly turned around, and pressed her fingers against her temples. “Holy crap,” she muttered. “Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap.”
Chat Noir winced. “Not that I ever anticipated this would ever happen, but as far as reactions go, you’re having a pretty bad one by the looks of it.”
Ladybug paused and bit her lip. He was right. For Marinette, this was positively mind blowing. Her crush and the boy she sat behind in class was actually Chat Noir and that by itself was making her brain do cartwheels trying to wrap her head around such a reality. But for Ladybug, it shouldn’t be any more shocking than realizing a model is actually her crime fighting partner. Being too dramatic about this ran the risk of revealing more about who her secret identity was and the fewer identity mishaps they could have tonight, the better. She was just going to….compartmentalize this and deal with it later. Much later. With her door locked. Screaming into her pillow. Tearing down all her Adrien posters.
“I-I guess, I’m just,” she hesitated, turning around and trying to force her brain to picture Chat Noir doing chemistry homework in study hall or Adrien telling puns while dangling precariously from the top of the Notre Dame. “A little embarrassed? I kinda gushed over you just now so it’s a little weird. It’s not because I’m disappointed or angry or anything. Surprised, for sure. But I guess mistakes happen. We were going to find out sooner or later. Occupational hazard.”
That seemed to placate his anxieties, and he blew out the anxious breath he was holding. “Well, that’s a relief. I’d prefer embarrassed over angry.”
“I’m not angry,” she assured him. “I probably shouldn’t have teased you so hard like that. That would’ve confused me too. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine, I should’ve known better than to assume. It was mostly my fault.” He scratched the back of his head and smiled awkwardly. “Gosh, this is weird not having this secret hanging over my head anymore.”
“It is a little weird,” Ladybug agreed with a smile. “But, I think we should be okay. I’m the only one who knows. And as long as we’re careful and don’t let anyone else in on the secret, everything should be totally fine.”
“Good point,” Chat Noir agreed. “As long as this doesn’t change anything, we should be fine, right?”
Ladybug bit the inside of her cheek, trying to imagine how she was going to manage keeping her cool in front of Adrien on Monday now that she was hanging onto such a huge secret. “R-Right!” she replied quickly. “We’re totally fine.”
Chat Noir smiled in relief, but then suddenly widened his eyes in realization. “Wait a minute,” he smirked. “You’re so right….”
“Right about what?”
“You were totally gushing over me a minute ago.”
Ladybug scowled and held up a finger. “Chat….Adrien….or, both of you just…. don’t .”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Chat Noir laughed. “Is teasing only okay when you’re the one doing it? I’m suddenly feeling up to continuing our little game but, oh, could you remind me what your opinions of Adrien Agreste are?”
“Oh my God, shut up!”
Chat Noir started counting off his fingers. “Let’s see if I can remember them all. Gorgeous. Sweet. Delightful. Charming. Handsome. Did I forget any?”
Ladybug covered her face with her hands. “Stooooop.”
“To think!” Chat Noir snickered. “All this time you’ve been telling me how much I wasn’t your type, and I’ve been your exact type this entire time!”
“You’re so infuriating leave me alone!”
“We should go on a date!”
Ladybug frowned, walked back over to where she left their sweets, and stomped away from him. “I’m leaving!”
“Noooo, come on! It’ll be nice! Like a celebrity date! It’ll be a lot of fun. You know, because I’m an absolute delight.”
“You’re never going to let this go, are you?”
“This is the perfect way to lighten up the mood, my Lady,” Chat Noir snickered. “Of course I’m not letting this go.”
“Leaving!!!”
“You can’t leave. I thought we were Bi Besties!”
“That’s never catching on Chat. Don’t even try it right now.”
#miraculous ladybug#ladynoir#ladybug#chat noir#adrien agreste#marinette dupain-cheng#ladynoir fanfiction#miraculous ladybug fanfiction#my writing#trying to get bi
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Tomato Soup and Lemon Zest: Catiac Agreste
Rating: Teen
Chapters: 2/3
ao3 fanfic 1 - 2 - 3
Notes: This is not how I thought this chapter would go, and I intended this to be two chapters wtf
P.S. Please let me know what you think! (Also, if anything is offensive, tell me, I like to consider people's feelings)
based on this post
Comment if you want me to tag you in the next update, otherwise check the tag #adrinathdrawingfic
@samantha-girlscout @artgirllullaby @miraculouslyme @breeeliss @itsmegan347official @deadstache @tallsuperstar @b0n3-crush3r
Also, @yourfavouritekindoftrash made a fic based on the same post, check it out under the tag #adrinathdrawingfic
“Oh my God,” Adrien fell back on his bed, hugging his pillow to his face to suppress the ever waiting wail he’d let out.
Plagg blinked at him slowly while chewing on a slice of camembert. He could almost see the red in Adrien’s face burning through the cushion.
“Plagg…”
“Yeah?”
“Plaaaaaggg…”
“Um, yeah?”
“PLAA-”
“YEAH. OK. Adrien, I’m listening… just say whatever it is before I stop caring.”
Adrien sighed, sitting up suddenly and resting his head in his hands. “Plagg, what have I done?” He groaned, “Did you see the way he looked at me?! Why am I so stupid?!”
“I dunno, but why did it take you so long to realize this?”
“That I’m stupid?”
“No, that you were putting on the dumbest show back there.”
“Not helping!” Adrien reached back at flung a pillow at Plagg.
Plagg laughed as he dodged. “What was it you said right before you left? ‘Don't miss me too much’? I would've paid a million bucks to see the face he made one more time.”
Adrien felt like throwing up. He had ended up flirting with Nathaniel so heavily that he might as well have slapped him in the ass and whispered ‘meet me at my place’ in his ear.
He didn't know where it had come from. Well, he knew how he'd become attracted to Nathaniel. Just one partner class assignment and he couldn't stop smiling at the mention of his name. The moment he had a chance to talk to him again it felt like his heart was a news broadcast and someone had snatched the mic from his hand to shout ‘fuckerightinthepussy’.
Adrien wanted to snort at the meme he had recalled, but he was too busy panicking.
He slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out his phone, instantly flipping it upright and pressing the home button in one swift movement.
His thumb hovered over Nino’s name before he caught himself. He couldn't call Nino, he didn't even know about this. He tapped on Alya.
No answer.
Didn't Alya live on her phone? What the hell was he supposed to do now? Was he willing to tell Marinette? She wouldn't be as bad as Nino, and she was honest, so if she made a promise she wouldn't break it. She'd probably understand, after all she knew a thing or two about having a crush.
Screw it.
The phone picked up almost immediately, making Adrien jump.
“Hey, Adrien, this is a pleasant surprise. You never call me,” Marinette’s voice was gentle and relaxed. Adrien didn't feel insecure anymore.
But he was still a nervous wreck of course. “Ha! Yeah, hey Marinette… guess I don't call you, huh?”
“So, what's up?”
“I wanted to tell you something- oh, but you have to promise to keep it a secret! Even from Nino, I'm afraid… but I just need to talk to someone about this.”
“Are you coming out to me?”
“Uh, well, that’s not exactly-”
“I FUCKING KNEW IT.”
“I-”
“You have it bad for Nathaniel don’t you?”
There was a pause on Adrien’s side. He gasped abruptly, “Did Alya tell you?!”
“No, it was just obvious. Don’t hate me but one time, when it looked like I was texting someone, I was actually filming you so that I could subtly drop Nathaniel’s name and watch your face light up. Here, I’ll send it to you.”
Adrien tapped on the notification ‘MARINETTE HAS SENT YOU A VIDEO’.
“DELETE THAT VIDEO RIGHT NOW.”
Marinette snickered. “Nope.”
“Come on, that’s so embarrassing!”
“I didn’t know you were capable of embarrassment. I mean, you’re the one who took a picture in your underwear and plastered it on the cover of a magazine.”
Adrien let out an impatient sigh, “First of all, it’s not like that was my idea, and second-”
“Alright, alright, I’m sorry. I’ll delete it…”
“Thank you.”
“After I save it to my laptop.”
“Hey! You hang around Alya too much…”
“I do, thank you.”
“So… um…”
“Uhuh, we were talking about your gayness.”
“About that, I didn’t even know about it? That’s why I didn’t really see this as coming out or anything, it all happened so fast, I met Nathaniel and he just- like a truck- he just-”
“Caught you by surprise?”
“...Yeah…”
“Don’t worry, I get it. All too well. So, otherwise you had no idea you were into guys?”
“Not at all. In fact I’m pretty sure I’m still into girls… at least at some point, I’ve met a couple girls I found cute.”
“Naturally. Alya and I are touched that you find us cute by the way.”
Adrien laughed. “You’re welcome? But, no offense, you didn’t make me feel the same as Nathaniel, you know?”
“I mean, that’s the whole point of falling for someone, Adrien.”
“Right but, I’m a little confused about my sexuality right now…”
Marinette took a deep breath, audible over the phone. “Look, as your friendly neighborhood bi, I can confirm that it sounds like you too are a bisexual. Welcome to the club. But you’re the only one who can figure yourself out, don’t just take my word for it.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot that was a thing…”
“What the hell? Are you serious?”
“Kidding. But I just wasn’t sure because I don’t feel like I’m equally attracted to guys and girls?”
“That’s completely normal,” Marinette chuckled, “But anyway, I’m pretty sure you intended to talk about something else?”
“Right…”
Adrien told Marinette everything. From the awkward hello to the cringey goodbye. He felt surprisingly better after venting to her, and he wanted to do it more often.
“You mentioned Chat Noir a lot…” Marinette smiled so hard Adrien swore he could hear it.
“Yeah, and? I wanted to see if he had a type, and I consider myself to be very similar to Chat Noir.”
Marinette snorted. “Yeah, right! You wish!”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well, you’re great and all, Adrien, but according to the story you just told me… you aren’t nearly as slick as Chat Noir.”
It took every bone in Adrien’s body to refrain from yelling into the phone ‘I AM CHAT NOIR’. Instead he just mumbled, “Thanks a lot, Marinette.”
“No! Adrien, I didn’t mean- ok, here’s what I think about you and Nathaniel. Maybe your moves wouldn’t have charmed me, but I don’t have a single doubt that Nathaniel is thinking about you just as much as you are of him. Whatever it is you wanted to do about it, just do it! There’s no point moping around and waiting…” Marinette’s voice seemed to go faint as she finished speaking, as though she had to convince herself of her own words.
Adrien knew she was right. It didn’t take him long to think about it, thank Marinette, and take a chance.
* * *
Nathaniel couldn’t believe it. Just a couple of hours ago, he had teased the idea of being carried away from danger by Chat Noir, and now it was a reality.
He had been sitting in the park, scribbling away again - and trying to keep his mind off of Adrien, who seemed to be particularly invasive of his thoughts - when he had a sudden feeling of being watched.
Out of Nathaniel’s view, Chat Noir was perched on a building near the park. He had been smiling down at him, trying to decide on an appropriate introduction.
I had a feline you’d be here. No…
It’s quite the purrfect day for the park, isn’t it? Ugh, no!
Maybe an introduction wasn’t appropriate at all. Chat Noir almost got up to leave when screams suddenly filled the streets and swarms of ninja-like creatures were flooding the park.
About four of them surrounded Nathaniel, who look petrified for a brief moment but swallowed hard and replicated his best fighting stance. Chat Noir allowed himself to be amused for a little while, grinning at the sight of his brave little boy. He hopped down with his staff and within seconds Nathaniel’s attackers were down. Before more of them could approach, Chat Noir put his arms under Nathaniel’s knees and back, and swept him off his feet.
It was everything Nathaniel had imagined. Forget the wind in his hair and the view of Paris, he could feel Chat Noir’s heartbeat against his thigh, he could feel his working muscles pull and shift under his fingers. Something he hadn't considered in his fantasy was that he was close enough to take in Chat Noir’s smell. Such a familiar smell…
Chat Noir settled him down gently. “You're safe now.”
Nathaniel fixed his hair. “I would've been fine, but thanks.”
“Oh really?” Chat Noir smirked, raising an eyebrow.
Nathaniel’s eyes trailed along with Chat Noir’s hand, rubbing up along his slender side and resting on his waist.
“W-well, you had some pretty good moves though, I wouldn't mind taking some pointers from you.”
“And I wouldn't mind giving them to you, want me to teach you?”
“Seriously?”
“Of course, just tell me when and where, I'll be there,” Chat winked.
Before he knew it, Nathaniel was spilling out some times they could meet; and he was staring helplessly as he watched Chat Noir turn around, crouch down low, and spring away. Adrien's spot in his mind was being compromised. Dammit, what was he supposed to do now?
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