#i am away for. Four days.

[weidli]

okay one of my flatmates is really fucking starting to piss me off lmao

#i am away for. Four days. #i come back. 10 pm. the shared compost bin i washed and left to dry in the rack the day before i left is still where i put it. instead of #moving it (Extremely Simple Fucking Action) she has chosen to dry her dishes by balancing them on the rim of the sink. the sink itself has #food scraps in it. jars with bits of food still in are standing on the counter and i know from experience i'll snap and bring those #to the recycling bins before she does. i start scrubbing things because leaving My Kitchen unclean upsets me on a molecular level and she #walks by and all she says is a grunted hello #and i could tolerate this ALL FINE i could think ah she's just busy probably! but when other flatmate (beloved) and i attempted to initiate #a chore chart system so that kitchen and bathroom get regularly and properly cleaned #at the end of the month she was like well i hate kitchen duty because i don't think i should have to clean up your messes. i cleaned the #kitchen once this month and an hour later it was dirty again. woman 1. sorry for fucking using the kitchen 2. you cleaned the kitchen ONCE? #in a MONTH? 3. you did not fucking clean up our messes. i know for a fucking fact i was putting away your dishes on a daily basis i would #looove to know what the fuck you considered cleaning up my mess #anyway. long story short thank fucking christ she's moving out at the end of spring semester otherwise i'd snap and write her a very #pettily snide whatsapp message

[rileyclaw]

some stills from a full-length Hunter animation coming this weekend !!

#the bird app has seen glimpses of this but this hell site hasnt!!! #ive spent 8 days on this thing nonstop it is a Full four minutes yall #in value and animated i am passing away but delighted to animate for myself #the owl house #toh #hunter #hunter toh #animatic #my art #toh fanart #i wouldnt even call this an animatic anymore it's graduated to AMV entirely

[shorlinesorrows]

qpr jean and neil. that's all i'm gonna say.

do you see my vision?

#i might add onto this later but right now I'm too busy crying #“misplaced forever partner” ARE YOU KIDDING ME THAT DESTROYED ME #neil ordering a hit to keep jean safe changed my brain chemistry #i need them to be friends #i need them to call each other and gossip and send each other stupid memes that only they understand #i need them to slowly grow closer as they heal until one day they can finish each other's sentences #and they ocassionally make super dark jokes about their trauma out of the blue (they bet on how people will react competitively) #i need them to call each other derogatory names but get Super Upset whenever anyone else talks shit about the other and offer to kill them #and i would love them to reclaim the spots next to each other that riko set #and make them their own #they're not partners on the court but they sure as hell are partners in life #the mcs ever #at one point andrew and jeremy are just looking at each other across a table at a restaurant as these two bicker #and realize they have somehow both become the Third Wheel despite the fact that 1) there's four of them and 2) jean and neil aren't dating #the amount of queer platonic pining i could fit in these traumatized people #the: “i'm lowkey obsessed with you but I Really don't like you romantically and I don't know what to do with it” #and the: “oh thank hell me too i thought i was even weirder than i already am. wanna go harass the fbi with me?" #jeremy and andrew watch this trainwreck both exasperatedly and proudly you can't convince me otherwise #cannot convince me that these four won't somehow end up living in each others pockets even if they live 1000 miles away #kevin pops in frequently as his usual wonderful diva self #anyway i'm going insane how yall doing #neil josten #jean moreau #all for the game #the sunshine court

[tangledinink]

i want desperately for you guys to know that this is how swanatello was born. he was designed and drawn in a span of approximately 30 minutes at work and made originally with the only intention being "pun." thanks @actuallynobutwhynot for getting me to make him lmao i gotta draw him and your sona together sometime.

#swanatello #and look at us now jfc #i didnt even intend for him to have any kind of a story i just sort of #made it up recently #as i did shitty doodles of him while talking about risesonas with friends #thanks also @ beanarry for making me want a donniesona in the first place #and @ sep council for bringing up risesonas and getting me to dust him off #and thanks @ bean again for getting me to post him lol i wasnt expecting anyone to??? care abt him #like to be fair its not like hes BLOWING UP or whatever but i have never gotta so much attention in my askbox before #and he has literally existed on tumblr for #like #four days #and i have gotten SO many asks and fanart and shit abt him and i am just blown away and also absolutely TICKLED #thanks gang #i am glad you like him #..... <3 #i like him too #i like telling his story #and im really happy that i have kind of been tricked into just? #doing really shitty low effort doodles and being ok with that being what i post? #it is very freeing #anyway thanks <3 #i will get to all the asks eventually #some of them im hanging onto #because answering them involves dropping MAD lore and sort of slingshotting the story forward and i dont wanna like #reveal everything right away ig? #so patience plz <3 #i will get to everything i can eventually

[mishkakagehishka]

"We're old moms, we can't wait to stop breastfeeding so we can get [very excited, shrill even] botooooox!!!"

We are never making it out of the patriarchy.

#every time i open instagram i see videos promoting botox for the moment you turn 20 and face lifts and plastic surgery #and skincare regimens that are not care at all but just fifty products to torture your skin (and spend money!!) #the ties between the patriarchy and capitalism that support one another are terrifying. #but not even that . i feel like i'm going insane #how did we in this day and age normalise so much of this shit #what happened to feminism... why am i seeing a man who works as a plastic surgeon #talking about ''when a client walks in and i know EXACTLY what she needs to change so i am able to get her to #sign up for four more procedures asides from the one she came here for ^_^'' i'm going to kill you. #beat you with rocks. do you guys know botox is a bacteria? do you guys know about botulism? #you throw away a can of food because it's slightly dented so you don't die from botulism #but you inject it straight into your forehead because someone told you signs you #lived a long life full of expressing your emotions guilt-free was what made you ugly #the way i see influencers who will call themselves feminists talk about those wrinkle-free straws... don't sleep on your side #don't breathe wrong don't crease your eyebrows don't smile don't cry don't drink from straws #you're all fucking insane. and wrinkles are caused by your skin losing elasticity. you will STILL have wrinkles #if you live long enough that is (<- can you see why it's a blessing?)

[slasherscream]

really wish people would read blog rules more, it makes running blogs like this very low reward and you feel like a machine if people aren't commenting and aren't even abiding by one of the, honestly, very few and politely phrased rules i even have

#then i'm left trying not to respond like a bitch when the rules are there in the first place so i don't have to have negative interactions #with the people who come to this blog #like keeping it 100 you write for yourself but you write for ENGAGEMENT and COMMUNITY #and these days in fandom there really is no community #for any fandom across the board #people see something and move on #that's bad enough at killing fandoms #but the fact that a creator can have really only one super hard rule and it gets disregarded every day #day in and day out! and i really mean it this rule gets broken in my inbox DAILY man! #i write for a lot of small fandoms or smaller characters i love the characters i'm happy to do it #but i have an adult job. college. friends. family. my own original creative projects #and even if i don't respond to the asks where people are blatantly violating /again/ #one of my FEW rules #it's exhausting to even see it !!! #it makes me not feel like a person #who cares what the girl behind the screen asked me not to do? right?? but i'm about done #i'm only at my breaking point because i've had this blog now for what three or four years?? #and no matter how i phrase the rule people break it #no matter how many reminder posts #it's exhausting because it's an every day daily thing #idk maybe i'll feel better abt it in the morning but i'm getting exhausted tbh #exhausted as in this blog might be going BYE BYE i wont delete i think you'd have it up until tumblr goes away but i am getting pissed off #TRULY pissed off bc it's been years of me asking cmon now

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

friendly reminder that self harm is lying to you

#the worst is when it promises you'll feel better and then you simply. do not. you feel worse and then you want to harm again bc surely that #will make you feel better right? THAT WOULD BE A NO. IT DOES NOT. #anyway today i went to spotlight cause i was sad cause i got the result for my 35% assignment i really struggled with. 32.5%. failure. #and at spotlight i made the foolish error of buying without knowing price. but like who makes a book a normal softcover crochet pattern boo #$55?! anyway it's a lovely book and am excited to try a few of teh patterns but the guilt is eating me alive #and also im super stressed about the assignment i have to turn in on thursday and haven't started #anyway i was literally four and a half hours away from being seven days clean #and i am just so sad right now #and i reopened one of the scars on my wrist too while on shift this morning so that's fun #not badly but it's just gonna mean it scars even more isn't it because of course #i was feeling incredibly awful for some reason i can't even remember and i kinda clawed up my arms. and no i don't count that as #breaking my streak bc it didn't cause much damage #i just. placement is so wonderful but life is so so hard #i don't know i want a hug and the assignment done and everything bad unmade #and the scars i have to look at every day on placement gone. #i want to talk to s but i haven't responded to her last message and i don't know how to respond but i need to respond to that #:(( #honestly actually i think i want to talk to aunty. friend's mum. in person. and get a hug. i want a hug. #im just. So Sad. and i want my brother and Ransom and this is not helpinga nd i don't know what would if anything

[baeshijima]

SAY IT AINT SO

CLOVERLEAF GAMES SAY IT AINT SO OMFGGDJSJDKSAAAAAAAAAAA

#sophie’s idle chatter #21ST MARCH. THATS THREE DAYS. AWAY. FROM NOW. IMSOFHNSKAS. #AFTER FOYR YEARS HE IS FINALLY AVAILABLE OUR SOULMATE IS SOULMATING #ABD FOR THE LOH FOURTH YEAR ANNIV OMG ONGDHGFJSKSKSA AAAHAHSJAKLQAAAAAAA #ROUIN MY LOVE MY BELOVED PLS PLS PLSSPSLSLSLPSLS COME HOME I WILL SELL MY SOUL FOR U PLS I AM SO SERIOUS RN PLSODKSPSJFAAAA #AND FIRE ONDAL????? EARTH RASHID??????? LIGHT LYN??????? LAIREI AVILLON KNIGHTS SKIN??????? THROWING UP I CANT DO THIS RN #....oH MY GOD WAIT DOES THAT MEAN ROUIN SKINS????? ROUIN SKINS CAN NOW BE REAL??? MORE ROUIN OFFICIAL ARTS FOR FUTURE EVENTS???????? #HAPPY FOUR YEARS OF LOH LIKE ACTUALLY 😭😭😭😭

[aeolianblues]

one last thing I will say on that topic. Americans getting upset about you calling out Zionism. When you're not talking about Judaism or in fact, about religion at all. When you're talking about a national military funded by a country that has been dropping bombs on the middle east since the 1980s. But then I suppose when people who are so so so comfortable with equating a whole religion, or further a whole entire group of multiple ethnicities, with simply 'terrorism', are criticised on any aspect of their wrongdoings of course they must think we're talking about their whole religion. Literally every word is a projection.

#I lost all respect for that person honestly. I used to think they were quite cool. I put up with a lot of blatantly horrendous shit thinking #'surely it's only a defensive thing. Surely they're only talking about the sadness within their community rather than actively supporting #the mass killings of thousands of people. Surely they're a teacher they've got to have that empathy with kids being murdered' #No! The fucking full clownshow. And now I've been feeling like an idiot all day— like why did I go 'let it slide' x 100 #why should *they* walk away feeling like they've got some sort of moral superiority here and why should I feel like I've been struck down? #Why am I the idiot that didn't block them four months ago #Anyway sorry to everyone who's had to watch me spam about one (1) negative interaction *all day long* it will subside soon #I'm just stinging from the fucking. Utter blindness. #We've always said someone's comfort doesn't override someone else's right to survival #as a literal genderqueer person they KNEW that. They'd uttered the same fucking sentence #but alas the pinkwashing that makes me so frustrated with Americans sometimes. It magically doesn't apply where racism is concerned ✨😃 #The US really is bombs dropped by rainbow-painted aircrafts; that meme should not be this accurate #anyway I'm glad that person is not in my life anymore. I'm glad my dash has one less abomination to repeatedly show up on it #and I have every right to be angry and I will be. I just won't bother you lovely folks with it

[lesbiansanemi]

Do you think if I wish hard enough my mom will get electrocuted by a string of Christmas lights and just go up in a cloud of smoke. It’d be a Christmas miracle

#I’m not even DOWN THERE YET and I want to fucking KILL HER #I have to work Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas. I live four hours away from my family #I told her this MANY TIMES I said I’ll drive down after work on Christmas Eve be there Christmas morning but I need to leave by 3-4 to get #home at a reasonable hour so I can have time to unpack/catch up on a couple days of chores/get plenty of sleep #she called me last night and told me she didn’t schedule Christmas stuff until SIX PM #and when I said why tf did you do that I’m not staying that late #she got mad and upset and was like ‘it’s the only time everyone is free :(‘ #BUT THEN proceeded to tell me we were having lunch with her HUSBAND’S family at noon #(ppl I am not close with never have been literally don’t talk to) #and everyone I know is like ‘just leave when you said you were going to anyways’ #and like yeah I could but then my family is gonna be ENRAGED that I didn’t do Christmas stuff with them #and they’re like ‘well explain that your mom didnt listen to when you said you needed to leave’ #but the thing is. no matter what. they’re going to take her side #I should sacrifice my time and comfort to spend time with them because they’re FAMILY #never mind that literally not a SINGLE ONE OF THEM has EVER come up to visit me #IM always expected to drive down there. but that sacrifice doesn’t count it’s not good enough #but if I stay that late I won’t be getting home until AT LEAST midnight or later #cuz my family has no fucking concept of time so if it starts at six that means it doesn’t ACTUALLY start until 7 so most of them might be #there by 8 so I’ll be expected to stay until at least 10 to sufficiently catch up with all of them #I’m going to scream I’m going to cry #if I leave early I’m the awful ungrateful terrible bitch who never comes to see any of them #but none of them could adjust their days by just a few hours to see me before I needed to leave #FOR MY FUCKING JOB !!!!!!!! SOMETHING COMPLETELY OUT OF MY CONTROL #and like the thing is. my piece of shit manipulative bitch mother #I KNOW she did this on purpose #I know she didn’t plan this until six to FORCE me to stay longer because she was mad I wasn’t staying long #(again… because of work… something I can’t control) #so she’s orchestrated this to put me in this position #where I have to suck it up and stay and be exhausted and have tired migraines for a week cuz I get only a couple hours of sleep and then #or leave and make everyone pissed. I hate her so FUCKING much

[milo-the-professional-yapper]

I think, outside of drama, Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss are shows that genuinely cater to my humor and drawing style. Now, I’ll be honest, I have the humor of a middle school boy- so the humor in HH and HB is very funny to me. It’s kind of how I joke in real life (though maybe not as much swearing but def a lot of innuendo). As for the animation- I just love it. It doesn’t matter if it’s revolutionary or not, I tried animating ONCE and it was literally so hard- I have so much respect for people who manage to make full animated shows. Y’all deserve all the money in the world and the industry fr doesn’t pay any of you enough.

#Hazbin hotel #helluva boss #Vivziepop #look I may not be funny to others but I am to myself and that’s what really matters here #I’m here for a good time not a long time #animation #I’m serious I tried animating once and quit after an hour #it’s so much work #might try it again some day though #Hazbin hotel just four days away! can you believe it?

[mossflower]

loki season two has me screaming crying throwing up trying not to get dragged back into the mcu trenches

#i am stronger than this. i am better than this!! #by the trenches i mean consuming fanfiction at an unhealthy rate. fourteen year old me was insane i think i was on ao3 more than i slept #that’s not exaggeration. i was getting four hours of sleep on school nights and frequently went to bed at 5am on weekends #it is ONE good story. one. literally not worth it. i don’t even care about ninety percent of the mcu characters #i will ignore the little voice in my head reminding of the sheer amount of fanfiction. this was my pre-tumblr days #so my fandom interaction was like. youtube and ao3. maybe instagram posts sometimes. it was so much fun like. zero drama zero discourse #i was honestly living my best life. got less interested when i joined tumblr and went full doctor who mode #and after endgame i watched i think wandavision and loki and that was it. just didnt care anymore lol #i know exactly why this is happening tho. currently the thing i am insane about is my own damn project. which i am in the process of writin #for obvious reasons no fandom there. bc it lives in my mind twenty four fucking seven #i do wonder if i’m kind of growing away from fandom anyway? the closest i’ve got since toh ended was homestuck tbh #i want to feel obsessed with something again!! everything i’m into now - tma tlt and the like - i love them #but it doesnt hit like it used to. i don’t know it’s hard to explain #like video essays that i would have loved a few years ago!! the hour long ones about representation and queer media #they just irritate me now! i got halfway through one last week and had to bail i just could not care less #how did 2020 social media have me convinced that x character being gay was super important politically economically socially etc #ofc the answer is that i was a baby lesbian getting even less social interaction than normal #like representation is important obviously but also. sometimes it was not that deep #i don’t know if i’m making sense tbh but you get my drift #morganposting

[oatbugs]

. anyway after writing the tags 4 this post i told my research partner i will no longer follow his dreams lmao. still helping w it but i need to engage in research that i find satisfying

#i think ive been waiting for something for a while and i will spend the next year waiting for it too #i thought i felt panic but i have decided to read it as anticipation. the thrill of rejection or of moving forward or the latter as #a result of the former. i left you with your backpack unattended in the cafe because on fridays i am done #putting my life on hold for another whim-without-a-warning #this cross country service is delayed by 26 minutes so i will grab a bucket and start shovelling the water away from the tracks #everyone is moving on in some different way and im sorry if you think im mean for telling you getting so drunk will disable you from #recording your brainwaves effectively but it seems like you think i owe you an awful lot. one year ago in four days my friend got me hegel's #science of logic for my birthday and i thanked him for proving to me the existence of things this is what i do he said #and then he will spend the rest of his life breathing philosophy and i dont want to spend the rest of my life #breathing someone elses dreams i wait for the moment of realisation. this is now a 30 minute delay. i was supposed to worship beautiful #things and that is what i will do. i think i have a best friend and i know i have a lover and i know to #restrict my love the way you have. im sorry. i hope you understand when i tell you. i am now sitting on the floor in the luggage section of #this incredibly busy train and i saw a photo of her with her boyfriend and her hair in braids smiling like a fool this is the #except a week ago you told me you almost took too much this time to live. you are a beautiful girl with a beautiful soul and you know you #have already changed the world and it somehow was not enough. now you are smiling without any makeup on next to him #and yesterday you cried in an airport in the states when you were too full of love. this is the most extraordinary human being i have met. #tomorrow he heads off to princeton while his best friend heads to harvard. he goes there to make the world a better place. he is the most #extraordinary person i have ever met. the issue with human beings is that we are incredibly good at almost dying and keeping going. #you try to kill yourself and publish a paper and give a talk. you negotiate the seperation between your own parents and submit another #phd application. i am surrounded by extraordinary people with extraordinary minds and incredibly broken happy hearts. #i only see you smile when you talk about robotics. i still dont know how manifolds work and i love the concept anyway. i dont know. #i do know that i refuse to live unsatisfied. #you can keep drinking. im going to drink this reality up #i think i was a horrible person and i refuse to engage with that mentality again no matter what it takes.

[belabellissima]

to my beloved flicker fans, im sorry but a friday update is not happening 😭

#ya girl has been working overtime almsot every day this week #plus a four hour class immediately after work #plus a concert an hour away from me #PLUS i finished the prisoners throne #PLUS crying about chapter 19 (holly black meet me in a denny's parking at 2 am this IS a challenge for my honor and dignity) #Bela talks

[bluewithpurplepolkadots]

I think my New Year’s resolution is that I’m going to start applying for new jobs.

I won’t be super intense as I have a job and I do not have the mental capacity to hunt like I did when I was unemployed (honestly didn’t even then) but like… I think especially since I didn’t get the one which would have been a small promotion here means it’s maybe time to move on eventually. I know it’s nothing personal but like. I’m not feeling great about it still honestly.

I may have to get a job that lets me do a bit less physical stuff eventually anyway, sadly. I wouldn’t mind doing this kind of thing forever sometimes but… it’s probably not practical? Maybe? I mean lbr here I’m not sure what my body will be like when I’m 50 or like 60 you know? I don’t want to break myself. And by that time would I be able to leave?

God I hate job hunting. Does anyone like it though?

Anyway that’s my resolution: not that I’ll definitely get a new job but that I’ll try and see what’s out there.

NOT telling my parents though because they have an intense need to help with this kind of thing and lmao Noooo. I appreciate it but like they expect me to do nothing else with my free time when they know and I’m not doing that to myself again.

#Already noticed a job which while not perfect I could possibly do though it’s not a certainty #it’s like 70 minutes away but apparently three or four days are working at home if a site isn’tlying anyway: and some outdoors I need #either way it’s practice I guess for job applications and interviews #it’s also like 4K more than my current salary tbh at the lower end so #polka blabs #Anyway I’m not willing to move for a job so it will be either things within an hours drive: or at home or hybrid at least in this case tbh #just things which involve nature or something like that since that’s my knowledge sphere or maybe some tourism too if that’s too specific #So yeah I probably can’t do a super intense job search anyway I just am going to fling things out when I can #though from what I recall this group I’m applying to has really long essay like application forms so not looking forward to doing it! #at least it’s not overdue until the end of January

[nobodybetterlookatme]

So I was complaining about how I'm lowkey dying a little bit to my person, and not only did they bully me about it and tell me to incorporate the experience into a fic, they followed it up with "would it help if I sneezed for you?". Like excuse you. How dare you. Yes it would

#kinda snz #like bro i am Suffering And Dying don't say that to me #they didn't actually sneeze but it's the thought that counts #my entire body hurts so bad #and I've gotten less than four hours of sleep a night for several days straight #and i had an interview early today so i was dying #but my person let me be dramatic about it so there's that #I'm so soft rn lmao #illegal of them to live so far away actually