#i am not supposed to feel this tied up

[torahtot]

ok ive had enough of queering judaism. can we start judaizing queerness now. or something

#like. it feels like so much of this queering judaism shtus just layers an american/secular queer identity over judaism #which i guess is fine for certain communities. but it's only going to push you away from orthodoxy #and if as queer jews we already feel like our queerness makes us into secularized outsiders in our own communities #how does this help? is trying to get our communities to embrace an essentially secular american iteration of queer identity supposed to mak #us feel LESS like outsiders? it's not quite doing it for me #we need a queerness that comes from within judaism that is essentially jewish #ive seen a couple of articles recently from ppl talking abt how word/concept of butch doesnt exist in their language & culture #but they use it anyway #& like. i love being butch. it's important to me ill never give it up #& i am american too. but my whole identity as a butch he/him lesbian is exclusively secular american it came from the outsifr #which is definitely due in large part to the fact that my Gender Problems were really tied up w orthodox jewish gender roles #so naturally to get out of that i'd pull on something not jewish. but i wish there was another option? idk if that's possible #or how it would look #maybe that's why im obsessed w the idea of a butch w long curly payos.... 😦 #i forgot where i was going w this but yeah it's frustrating #this is a large part of why im wary of starting a queer Jewish club on campus bc the people who would wanna start it w mr #well no offense but they are insufferable about this #(incidentally they're also insufferable about chanukah. no surprises there) #nachi speaks #jew blogging #others have Actually written abt all this tho

[running-in-the-dark]

it's so funny when I rewatch a show but with a new/different/additional crush. like I'm rewatching the librarians with my partner right now and it just feels soo different lol

#anyway. Jenkins 😍 #on a completely unrelated note... #I need to learn more about pocket squares and ties. #because it's already driving me insane when they don't go together on night court but it's much worse on the librarians where I can actually #like. see stuff lol #I don't mean 'oh no the colour isn't an exact match'. more like 'these patterns and/or colours look fucking bad together' #but maybe there's like. reasons for that. rules that my silly little brain isn't smart enough to figure out #because all I'm basing that on is. my eyes and my opinion lol #anyway he's so baby. 🥰 and I definitely like him better now. very very huggable. #he takes that suit jacket off and I'm like 🥵 #man I feel so weird about this :') but I must talk about it anyway or I will never get over that :) #like it just feels like. ohh this is weird I'm not supposed to think he's hot because he's old 😬 but he just. is 🤷 #anyway touching his ears would fix me man it totally would #*with my mouth also. but whatever it's cool I'm not thinking about that #no haha why would I be thinking about it that :) #or when he sits on that table sometimes and I totally don't think about how I absolutely need to sit in his lap :) #haha noo I'm not thinking about fucking him at all who even brought that up #anyway i am very tired & have already taken my sleep meds so I am extra stupid rn :) and the dumb thoughts just keep coming out

[grmpgm]

ok executive dysfunction is kind of ruining my life actually

#i have an incredibly time-consuming project i NEED to finish and i genuinely don’t know if i can #i’ve started which is good but i’m horrifically behind where i need to be and i’m just so overwhelmed #i technically have enough time to finish it i think? but it’s my final project so i literally cannot miss this deadline #my professor is really cool + likes me but it’s already been so long w/out me bringing it up #and wtf am i supposed to say? yeah. i WANTED to work on it. i just chose not to????? like wtf #it’s just so humiliating and i’m so behind i don’t know wtf i’m gonna do #it’s worse bc it’s an animation and it’s gg related and i really really wanted this to be good and i wanted things to be different this time #kind of funny bc i’m actually mid getting an adhd diagnosis rn but it’s just so fucking awful because i do this constantly #it fucking sucks so much i feel so helpless and i don’t know wtf is wrong with me. i’m so tired of letting everyone down constantly #it’s so bad rn i literally cannot do anything. it’s humiliating like WHY can’t i just be a functional normal person #it fucking SUCKS because i KNOW if i had any self control or work ethic whatsoever i could be really fucking successful but i don’t. #so i won’t be i guess. #and i KNOW it’s tied into a bunch of different stuff too but like gd i DO NOT care i just want to be functional #worst case scenario i have an A in the class so if i completely blow it i’ll at least pass? hopefully? #i might be able to talk my prof into an extended deadline but it’s so embarrassing bc i didn’t need one in the first place. #i have literally no excuses #it just makes me so upset because i just keep doing this over and over and i don’t know how to stop it or how to get better #and LOL sorry for posting this here i just feel weird talking to anyone personally about this (+ currently avoiding responding to messages!) #it’s just like. man if i can’t get a fucking grip i will literally waste my entire life. Oh Well! LOL

[fate-defiant]

'kay so I doodled another thing before bed, just to test the tool further. I wanted to see what I could do if I went beyond just a sketch with a bit of color slapped onto it. Not gonna lie after fiddling witth the brushes further I was a bit dissapointed - they're not unworkable, but the limitations are frustrating nonetheless. I ended up doing the lineart as though I was working with a mechanical pencil - set the brush size to being as thin as possible(i worked on a 800x600 pixel canvas here, for the record) and then just sorta went over the parts I wanted to be bolder several times. It didn't turn out great but that's more of a skill issue on my part.

All this isn't to say that's it's bad, for the record, the main goal of the people making this was clearly to make something for people to have fun together with and not a perfect clone of [insert your preffered drawing program here]. If I experimented further I could definitely figure out plenty of interesting things that can be done with just the free features, I just don't have the time or the patience tonight.

#this has been uh. a review i suppose #hm. #my anatomy skills leave much to be desired #but i man did i not feel like using a refference #also hey remember back in 2019 when i doodled a character that sorta reminded me of duck #and then i ended up sorta going with the self indulgent flow without really thinking about it much #and then i drew her like thrice #and then i spent some months ponderign the implications of the worldbuilding and parenthood and also the fact th #that i decided for her to be a very young mom and now i am the age where i decided shed supposedly have had her kid #and also now i've had some time and space to consider the effect that has both on the parent and child #and now instead of a purely self indulgent oc i spat out randomly during a time when #i pinned a lot of my self esteem on the validation i got for running this blog #this is like. someone i can potentially tell an interesting story with? #idk ive been pondering family ties here and there. now and then. #i wanna write stories abou that i think #but oh man i am not at all well practiced story teller #still id like to try #anyway uuuuuh #bertha #my art #fate.txt #this has been. a review and a ramble

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ay ay ay. i dont wanna do my job so bad. it makes me so unhappy also i fucked up a thing by letting someone take part of a culture when i #shouldnt have. it happened so many months ago that i fucking forgot abt it and then the person emailed me abt when we received the stain and #i thought it was someone from another project so i cc'd my boss who was like. wait. what the fuck is this? and now its like oops sorry but #like wtf am i supposed to do abt it now? she askrd me to take some when i was rushing out of someone else's lab and i was like what? sure. #whatever i dont give a fuck i feel like im dying every second i stand in this room. i didnt even think to ask to share it which is what i #should have done. oops. cant do anything abt it now other than feel abt abt causing drama between labs. ugh. #i just wanna cut all ties with my old work. theres no joy there. only pain and anger. which makes it hard to work with it but the sooner i #do. the sooner i dont have to fucking deal with it anymore. ugh. also i really need to find a therapist but my insurance changes in like 18 #days so i might as well wait for the semester to start. ugh. like i can feel the pull of my bad habits trying to drag me down and i dont kno #how to stop them. like its weird. i noticed while my parents were here. they can just do things and enjoy stuff. and everytime i do #something i feel like im holding my breath the entrie time waiting for it to be over and for what? its not like i had other stuff to do #i just needed to kno when things were gonna end and i dont deal well with flexible situations. which makes it hard to do things. so its #like do i succumb to my control freak lil bubble of not doing anything and being miserable or do things outside my comfort zone and be #miserable? one of those things is way easier. plus i dont even kno anyone here so its like wtf do i do? #try to make friends with my sometimes roommate maybe. i just need to corner her and be like hey i need to establish a dialog with u so i can #tell u that if i seem like a weird hermit im not trying to b standoffish i just dont kno how to do human interaction well. can we b friends? #id like to b friends but if i dont talk now then ill get stuck not talking ever. which is whats happened with past roommates... god my 1st #roommate must have thought i was so fucking weird. ugh. point is. these bad habits must stop. and i really need to get work done so i can #never think abt that shit ever again. at least now that ive moved i can run up the side of a mountain when im frustrated #unrelated

[oatbugs]

WARNING: The penalty for trespassing on the railway is £1000.

#here is the story of two researchers and one 0 on the truth table. here is how you almost tied up my arm in a belt #because you lost your tourniquet and neither of you could find my veins. did it feel good to get it off your chest #did it feel cathartic to talk about sin? in a room full of policymakers and experts i shook hands with a theoretical #physicist creating breathing metal. we talked about annual ruination. there is a boy in gold earrings #and two strangers growing a fake hologram with their minds. you discover you like wine and that you are #perhaps only a little bit cutthroat. here is a teapot full of tequila and a glance a curling of the lips that renders you [0] #first on the index and quickly overlooked. you want to be loved? here is the difficult bit. girl teaches you how to speak mandarin. still #too drunk to find your veins but here i want to be loved anyway. in a shocking turn of events the thing that keeps me alive #projected through my lovers noise cancelling headphones causes a slow peak in the 10 millisecond span i process #falling lights and yet increases accuracy to almost 87.5%. is it magic or are you just discussing your downfall? #the truth is have no skill or qualification to my name. i want you to listen to me. he said you will be a king. he said if a bomb #fell on this room everything that matters would be over. YOU WANNA LEARN ABOUT LOVE YOU SELFISH FUCKER? YOU SHOULD HAVE CHOSEN ME #WHEN YOU WERE 15. THE LOVE IS GONE IF YOU HAVE TO ASK IT. hes the alaskan #WHEN YOU WERE 15. THE LOVE IS GONE IF YOU HAVE TO ASK IT. i am the alaskan malmute under the dinner table begging for scraps #in a place im not supposed to be. in the field it was me with the drumsticks her (the world piano champion and the researcher and the #the machine gun) with the 巴乌 him with the guitar this is outside of london this is the ex presidents ex advisor telling you to give up #this is your brain and this is the day after doom. this is her washing the EEG conductive gel out of your hair in the restaurant bathroom #this is the skill to possess guilt without carrying shame.

[pyrodigy]

the best piece of (diluc-specific) canon lore this brought about was that alice and varka are basically his honorary parents

#⌜ ooc ⌟ #two characters that im dying to meet in game and that get more intriguing every time we hear about them #yea i have more to say on the topic but this post is specifically appreciating this simple fact #because i am such a sucker for mentor/parental figure diluc (looking at razor especially but also many other potentially) #its actually really comforting to think he also has parental figures who especially stepped up to fill that role when crepus died #in alice's case anyway. it sounds like varka was already a very important figure in diluc's life and that reflection deserves its own post #god i just. love how interconnected all of mondstadt is #theres different little cliques like favonius and the church and the guild #and a few outliers like diluc and razor and diona and mona and venti #but every character has ties to several other characters #the mondstadt roster makes up this big cohesive unit and you dont get anything like it in the other nations #and its fitting given its Supposed to feel like home. its fitting that thats where everyone is in fact a big (dysfunctional) family

[the-cinnamon-snail]

I look too much like both of my parents and act too much like them as well.

#vent #like. i fucking hate it. #at least people mostly just say I look a lot like my siblings because they are so much older than me #but jeez. every time i bite the skin on my finger tips and my nails #i get reminded that dad does that all of the time and I picked up the habit from him #i fucking hate it. i hate it do much. #i mean #i look in the mirror and i know it's me #but thats not who I want to be. thats not what i want to look like. #I don't know what i want to look like but it's not like my parents and not like a girl and that gets rid of barely anything #i just. don't feel comfortable like this. but what the fuck am I supposed to do about it? #i mean. there's nothing objectivly wrong with how I look. 5'3 and about 145 pounds. green eyes blonde hair. it's fine. #but it's too much like them. and it just doesn't feel like me. I don't want that to be me. #every time i wonder if I'm not trans/agender at all. i get reminded that adding calling myself a boy into pep talks makes me so happy. #along with that. when my hair gets dark in the winter and my hair gets tied back. i look in the mirror and it's a bit better. #but not fully better. i still have my chest and every other bad thing about myself. #and after randomly venting into these tags out of nowhere I've come to the conclusion that this probably isn't normal #snd something else is likely wrong with me. but eh. just add it to the pile I guess.

[bonyato]

Sorry abt the occasional digiposting as of late, im coming to terms w/ the fact that it's starting to grow on me orz

#clenches fists. #wondertext #I started watching it w/ some friends recently..for nostalgia reasons in their case‚ but also to introduce me 2 the franchise as well #since it never rly was part of my childhood & i was curious as to what the fuss was all about hsjwjfj #Anyways i never rly took the events all that seriously since I thought shit was so off the wall it was funny But #after nearly 24 episodes i've found myself getting emotionally invested w/ the show at last 😭😭 it's been a journey #ive been progressively getting accustomed to all of its strange concepts . I think im desensitized at this point /lh #like evn the monsters themselves now have me like..ok...Youre not so bad after all. u got a creepy-cute kinda thing goin on &i respect that #(<- Used to find their designs unpleasant. still do a little bit even now tbh sorry But i do appreciate their uniqueness a whole lot) #But yeah i feel Like ive been put thru an entire character arc w/ this thang . #You should've seen the way i used to freak out during the 1st few episodes Everything was So Insane 2 me. it had me flabbergasted #it was like . Lighthearted charming OP song -> Children having a near-death experience in the most surreal way possible #-> Isekai moment -> We get introduced to the ugliest little beasts i've ever seen #-> They spend the rest of the episode almost dying Again -> beast transform into even Uglier beasts & go feral on each other #-> World's calmest most soothing ED sequence that clashes So Hard w/ the tone that was set during the episode it makes ur brain crash. #and thats more-or-less the formula that's been handled throughout the following episodes up until this point #but i suppose I've grown fond of it by now 🧎 I am a Changed man‚ i See the appeal‚ I Understand #well not rly prbablyBut at least each episode keeps me@the edge of my seat now as opposed 2 how i used to enjoy it in more of an ironic way #'tis nice honestly..I've become more appreciative of the kinda vibe the show handles‚ it's got a lot going on :} It's /insanely/ creative

[sysig]

♥!

#Title because body text is too small to encapsulate my Big Celebration #So if you've been following along the breadcrumbs of my Real Life nonsense you'll know I moved last October/November #And since then a lot of my didn't-think-at-the-time-was-that-necessary-but-actually-turned-out-to-be-pretty-frickin'-necessary Stuff #Has been back away. Yes for six months. No I'm not happy about it either but literally what am I supposed to do about it lol #And one of those things was my hammock! My bed! My reading spot! My favourite place! #Well tied for my favourite place with my rocking chair but splitting hairs really lol #And we just straight up couldn't find it - found the base! But not the cloth-and-rope part the actual hammock bit #So we bit the bullet and just bought a new one - the old one had been fraying and snapping like mad anyway so it was time #And it finally - Finally! Arrived today ouq #It feels amaaaazzzzinnnnggggg ahhhhhhhh #I really want to draw my excitement but that would require leaving it - yes I am typing this while reclined and rocking it's delightful #And the airflow! Ah!! #The only problem(s) now are well a) I never want to leave it again lol b) it's rather large #And part of the reason we couldn't locate my Various Items was because I don't have a room yet - nowhere to put it #So it's just kinda....in the way lol #And then c).....my employer asked for a night shift. Tonight. And tomorrow. Out. So I can't sleep in my hammock :') Until Sunday #So :'D #But!!! OTHER THAN THAT!!!! Lol #Most importantly going forward I have my reading spot back ahhhhhhhh AHHHHHH #I'm gonna read so much!! I have so many reading plans!!!!!! #HAMMOCK!! AHH!! #Update: She called off ahhhhhhHHHHHH

[pizzapizzadickz]

.

#yeah! ill do thing #haha. i cant do anything today muchless feed myself #i cant fuction #personal #diary #i want to make a late or an espresso and theres nothing cleared off like my mom said it would so now idk what to do #i went from good morning to near meltdown in .5 seconds huh? #this is why i dont like it when someone says then tries to shut me up and doesnt do thing #like??? i didnt care id u cleared off infront of my espresso tbing that takes 5 seconds. but a peice of countertop??? #yeah idk where i could even put anything #so yeah now i dont know what to do and am in pure stuck mode. bc i dont have space to make food either. #honestly i just hate everything so much. i hate life so much. im so tired i dont like this. #*david Attenborough voice* now look at this creature. utterly incapable of functioning without coffee. how useless. #ugh. seriously though. if i can just get through a morning and make coffee i can generally be more okay than i would otherwise #do you know how much it fucking sucks just waking up and being like #ugh. like i know this is probably in part bc i should be getting my period soon. but. its days like today i sorta wish i was dead #suicidal ideation #like. what am i supposed to do when it feels like the whole world is hostile. like. just one deviation from my plan and i cant handle ti #idk. it sucks really. im honestly not even asking for much anymore. i just wish i could at least play video games really. #if i could at least do that it wouldnt feel like such torture just existing. idk. i just want one thing. #idk. i know a lot of this is hormonal but even that sucks! why the fuck do i have to live like this. #idk. im really tired. really really tired. i still have to do work too this week. and honestly im so tired. #while i really do enjoy doing things n life n shit. i hate that like 90% of my life is just suffering. just pure suffering #...and yes i am wishing i am dead or something simply bc i couldnt make a latte like i planned #and no i will not be able to make myself breakfast now either. my morning is ruined now. so im unable to function #ugh. i just wanted to have a nice coffee and play splatoon today. but instead i got a nice case of yet again #idk. id be okay if there was just. nothing expected of me. if i didnt have to feed myself or work or shit. #like. me not wanting to exist is mostly just bc of the inconvenience i cause everyone around me #i have to be careful of what i say careful of what i do make sure i never bother anyone. #and so i just quietly cant functiom over here in a corner. just ugh. usually i can tidy shit up myself

[toyfrogs]

help 😀

#I feel like I managed to accustom my friends when it comes to my mum’s weird restrictions and reactions because I tell them pretty much #everything that happens in our relationship and usually ask them for advice #but the one thing that frustrates me is that my boyfriend has no idea how bad things are and thankfully doesn’t understand what it’s like to #have a parent that controls the way you dress/wear your makeup and hair and dictates what you’re supposed to do for a living because they #want you to have a comfortable life and not go through extreme poverty like they did (I know her intentions are the best but she just #doesn’t know how to act in a way that I can comprehend fully…I love her with all my heart and it would literally kill me to have to cut ties #and I’m currently freaking out because I still haven’t told her I’m dating someone who’s not the ideal type she thinks would be a good fit #for me and it’s destroying me because I’ve never felt this good and have never been treated with so much care and respect and I’ve never had #so much reassurance that I’m loved and this relationship is just something I’m not willing to give up on or have it be taken away from me #but at the same time I NEED to tell her because how am I supposed to keep lying about which friends I’m going out with and not be able to #freely spend quality time with the person I love without stressing about time and being scared she’s gonna call or ask for pictures or #I’m planning on telling her but I’m SO terrified to lose him and also scared he’s gonna make my life a living heel and think I’m lying #about every little thing I do in the future and stop me from seeing him or having a phone or idk???? #things are way too unpredictable in this house and have always been and I HATE that

[orcelito]

so in dnd we found this uh. Divination fountain thing. an elfy thing. our resident elf went diving, & when i lost my grip on him i went in after

so the elf (our wizard) was at this grave and Fully thought he was this different dude. and that this was his dead wife's grave. and so when Fang went after him, he just... saw said dead wife. speaking in elvish, openly weeping as he held Fang like a dead lover, while Fang saw None of this and was just SO confused. trying to coax him back out of the weird vision.

it worked! we got him out. but it left Fang with a few impressions. A: he really does not have romantic feelings for this guy, so it was just Hopeless Confusion rather than fluster at it all. but also B: he'd been held like a Lover for the first time in his life, and it gave him an ache he didnt know how to name.

as we were making camp, he was thinking about it. ended up talking with the paladin, aka his actual crush (that he STILL doesnt realize is a crush). he tried to make sense of it, but still couldnt. and then turned the conversation onto her, asking how she's doing with everything. it's been a lot of killing and a lot of violence, and she voiced uncertainty with it all. feeling like she's just one of the criminals she'd sworn to stop when she first became a knight. and earlier, she mentioned feeling like we were monsters when we killed a captive after getting information from them.

and fang listened to this. then shared his point of view. this being a thing of survival, rather than just for the joy of killing. mentioned how sometimes you have to do things you find unpleasant in order to survive, but so long as they're doing good in the end, it'll be okay.

he wasn't sure if he'd really gotten through to her. he wanted to make Sure he did. so spurred on by that strange ache he'd felt (& still didnt understand), he reached for that intimacy. held her face between his hands to look directly in her eyes as he reiterated his point. killing for survival doesnt make them Monsters, so long as they're trying to do good in the world. trying to convince her of this as much as he's trying to convince himself.

she quietly accepts his words, contemplative at it all. he nods, then pulls his hands from her face (his fingers trembling just as mine were when I mimicked the motion). there was a small blush on her face.

and they continued their watch. one step closer to Fang finally realizing how he feels.

#speculation nation #fang #d&d #the uh. hilarious part of that talk with her though #he spent the entire time tied up to the wizard lskdjflskdjfljk #bc fang was just like 'i am NOT risking you going all hypnotized again & jumping in the water while we're sleeping' #tied them together with a rope. and then proceeded to have a heart to heart with his crush #god he is the BIGGEST fucking dunce when it comes to romance. it's been SO long since this started taking root #he sees her and feels a sense of safety and belonging that he doesnt with anyone else #but he doesnt know what that Means. how is he supposed to? no one's ever told him. #but this past session was one step closer. one more piece of the puzzle. delivering an Ache he doesnt understand yet #but at some point. i think he'll connect the dots. the feeling of being held like a lover. and then wanting to hold Her like that #and he'll think. 'Oh. That makes a lot of sense doesn't it?' #he wont be able to come to that conclusion next session. bc we have a big storm ahead of us lol #but in the days that follow....... assuming neither of us fucking Die lmfao #we'll see. i'll be hoping! god it would SUCK if either of them died. We'll See.

[29121996]

.

#trying to . not smoke to cope w these feeling isnuh . Not fun i . #i cannot describe it icfeel pathetic and insane ohh my god . #im still more uoswt over losing him than i am over my best friend n that is not gonna make . me not giggle a lil #anyway ! cannot do tgis i want a refund on the last 2yrs bc what the everloving fuck. #2022 feels like a fever fucking dream. how thebfuck didnall of that take plaxenonly 2yrs ago #n how didni end up here . #ANYWAY . i hate this feeling i hate everything sbt this n ik im supposed.to find . some goodness in it #and i AM . like . there is a lot of goof that has come from this. but . if there isnt this almost permenant ache that #i literally cant get rid of . used tocscoff at ppl who said that it could feel like going from feel whole to #feeling like a piece is missing bc how how can one Person do that . but like i do get it :/ #its so sick n twisted . like i have Two options rlly . n i have to choose one bc i have no other choice rlly . but #i am gritting my teeth . while i do it bx it isnt lesseninf and is only getting Worse Somehow ! #i thought time was supposed tocmake it better n . i thoughy time was supposed toclessen the intensity of #wtv the fuck THIS is . but NO . how the fuck am i supposed tovgo the rest of my life like this #n k ik one day at a time it wont always feel like this . but what if it does. i could actually kms fromcthat idea #tgis is so fucked i actually . have gotta swinf at him for this . let me fist fight him . #i say that as if je ciuldnt kill me Immediately . but . let me fist fight him bx i cant do much else !!! im in a box !!!! n im terrified !!! #i went away and expected it to feel Less . but no. it somehow was Stronger and . more evil #string theory or wtv u wanna call it . idk were fucking tied tgth n some shape or form . bc how #else am i to explain tje weird pyschological tinglings i get other than spiritual bullshiy i am Going Crazy fr . #pyschward me atp. beinf aober isnt helping - but smoking doesnt either i am gonna kill him fr. #and then myself and pray shits different next lifetime. it would absolutely be funny to add murder tocour karma #bx this isnt our first rodeo tgth. weve done this dancd before in another lifetime . sickening. #anyway add murder karma to it ! why the fuck not ! #im kidding obvioisly. i coildnt murder anyone .

[walmart-miku]

anyone else filled with unspeakable levels of hate when ur younger sibling gets the same haircut as you?

#I wanna strangle her neck #I hate her when she pulls shit like this #like girl #shoulder length hair has been my thing since I was 5 #It is an integral part of my character design #Idgaf if she did it cus she wants to look like me or just cus she wanted her hair cut #Girl knows it's my thing #My mom was even like is iris gonna be cool with that? #No. #The answer is no #But like wtf am I supposed to say? #There's no good reason to say no #Who am I to control what length her hair is???? #And girl never ties her hair up so theres no chance of just waiting it out and forgetting that she's a little bitch #Maybe this is the middle child in me talking #We middle children have to have smth to differentiate ourselves #But rn I wanna shave my head off #Makes me feel nasty to think that she willingly chooses to adopt aspects of my look #Ik that a lot of people do that as a complement I do too #Look like or adopt things that the people they love wear and do #But when it's ur sibling it's different #It's like stay in ur fucking lane #At least I only see her for a few hours a day cus school #Think I would disintegrate on the spot if I had to regularly be reminded of this #personal post #rant post #god i hate her #Least fave sibling #and for good reason

[garoujo]

✩ ˛˚ . GOJO SATORU — you know as soon as you get out of bed, satoru isn’t going to be far behind you, especially when you’re draped in his shirt.

ஜ ˖ ࣪࿐ྂ warnings! f!reader, insatiable satoru :3, mostly teasing, some morning scenes as he tries to drag you back to bed, you’re in his shirt, he lifts you up at the end. ♡ ˖ ࣪࿐ྂ note! i am so very obsessed + crazed, i can’t stop <3

it’s still early, barely light outside as you stand in the kitchen of your shared apartment. you’ve left your boyfriend gojo still in bed, you felt a little bad waking him up when he always looked so peaceful, probably tired out after the night he’d given you lastnight— the evidence of his efforts still burning on your skin where he’s left his mark.

but it had still been an effort to peel him off of you no matter how soundly he slept, having to pull yourself away from the warmth of his chest— his arms were like a puzzle with how tightly he wraps them around you, but you thought he’d appreciate waking up to some coffee and breakfast on his day off.

the air in the kitchen is still cold, something you’ve put down to the early morning— the roads outside are still quiet but there’s a slight breeze along your bare thighs when you move. the rest of your body is fine though, draped comfily in one of satoru’s ridiculously huge shirts, the perks of your boyfriend being over 6’3 ofcourse—plus he always payed such expensive amounts for his clothes, it was almost guaranteed they were gonna be comfy.

you giggle as you scoop a ridiculous amount of sugar into your boyfriends coffee cup, the ceramic identical to yours— his idea when he started coming over more often, but you still thought his sweet tooth was adorable.

“oh? good morning to you too, sweet thing.” your train of thought is interrupted by the smooth, still sleepy drawl as you shoot a quick glance over your shoulder to see gojo already approaching you. he couldn’t be apart from you too long afterall— it’s like his soul was tied with yours. he’s still shirtless, his hair is messy from sleep— snowy peaks framing his features while his sweatpants rest dangerously low on his hips.

“you’re awake early.” you sigh out, dreamily as you feel your boyfriends chest press against your back, his long arms circling their way around your waist from behind as he rests his head in the crook of your neck.

“mhm, how my supposed to sleep without you, hah? so cruel.” there’s a slight whine to gojo’s words, you can still hear the sleepiness in his tone but it makes you smile when it’s followed by a smeared kiss along your jawline. you roll your eyes before you lean into him, feeling his fingertips trace along the hem of your shirt, his shirt that’s hanging around your thighs before he speaks again.

“you teasin’ me?” his words are lower this time, a little more than a growl as he plays around with the fabric between his fingers— grumbling before he’s deliberately pressing his hips into you from behind. he’s close and warm, making sure you can feel the problem you left him with this morning when you got out of bed without him— straining against the fabric of his sweats.

“‘toru, it’s 8am. you’re insatiable.” you giggle out, a sweet little sound so early in the morning and it only seems to draw gojo in closer to you— smiling into his next kiss along your throat as he rolls his hips into you.

“oh, but you left me cold and alone, i think you gotta make that up to me, no?” he’s teasing you, trying to lure you back into where he wants you most— not that he wouldn’t have you anywhere, he’s already had his way with you around this whole apartment. but he wants nothing more than you between the sheets right now, wrapped up in him and the plush mattress beneath you both.

“i’m literally making you a coffee. you needed the rest.” you try to argue but you should know that gojo’s never one to back down. you feel his fingers trail slowly underneath the hem of his shirt, before he sighs with the first teasing swipe along the inside of your bare thigh, so dangerously close to your folds that you shudder. no panties either? you really were teasing him.

“hah? but i feel better than ever.” he tries to argue, oh so convincingly before he’s turning you to face him— peppering sweet, ticklish smooches along your features until you’re arms are wrapping around his shoulders and your eyes are finally on him.

“oh, i’m sure~” you grin, his crystalline gaze is sleepy as you brush your fingers through his bed head— scratching at his scalp before he’s sending you a lopsided grin, followed by a quick peck against your lips.

“got no choice. you need a demostration? let’s go, sweet thing. only one way to show you.” is all you hear from gojo before he’s suddenly got you thrown over his shoulder, and you truly forget how strong he really is until he’s handling you with such ease— holding you with one arm like you’re as light as a feather.

“satoru! what about breakfast?” not that you’re putting up much of a fight, you can basically feel the smug look that’s on his face already as he turns to drag you back to bed. you grumble, defeated but it quickly turns to a shriek when you feel your boyfriends free hand come down sharply on your ass as he chuckles.

“hm? don’t mind. i’m hungry f’ somethin’ else right now, baby.”

© 2023 GAROUJO. please do not copy any of my layouts or writing and translate or repost onto any other sites.

#݁ . ࿓ : sealed #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x you #gojo x reader #gojo smut #gojo x you #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru smut #gojo satoru x you