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ceasarslegion · 2 days

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wait, now im really interested in the silica gel drama. how did hlrp sex ed lead to eating a gel packet?

This is going to require a novel's length of context.

To begin, I want to underline that this is not meant to be a callout post, and I will not be providing any identifying traits that could be used to single this person out. The most you will get out of that are she/her pronouns, and her age at the time this happened, which was years ago, and I will not specify what year. I genuinely do hope she got the help she needed after this, because LORD knows she needs it and didn't find it at home. This is also not meant to be a character assassination, nor should anybody who reads this post consider it to be a takedown of any sort, and if you try to find this person through me or any of our mutual friends, you will not be met with kind words. The only thing this is meant to be is a wild-ass story of some of the most off the wall experiences I personally had with this person from my specific side of the story, with a few no-username screenshots attached to prove I am not bullshitting you.

With that in mind, let's get started. This is going to be very long, so I'm throwing in a read more

Back when I was in uni, I joined a growing group of Half Life roleplay blogs. The whole idea of our group was that we each chose a character, canon or OC, and we would blog as if the pre-Black Mesa incident moment in the timeline was a workplace comedy a la The Office or Superstore. I played Barney, because I was already working night shift security at this point and thought it would be funny. Plus, it gave me something to do that wasn't staring at CCTV feeds all night tossing a ball against the wall. We played off of each other very well, yes-anding our way through funny little situations and plotlines we put together. At one point we had roleplayed enough that one of the scientist rpers created a discord server for us to talk as the actual people we are instead of through characters.

Great idea at the time. None of us saw the "Pandora's box" label on the tin before we opened it. Would I still join it if I knew what was about to transpire? Yes, because I met my boyfriend and many genuinely lovely friends through it. Would I hesitate for a second first, though, as the events that are about to transpire flashed before my eyes? Oh, abso-fucking-lutely.

We started off as many fandom servers do: chill for the most part, very loud minority of a few assholes who ruined it for the rest of us, but unlike most fandom servers, we actually won and it ended in them getting banned and the server itself surviving to this day. But the other two lunatics are not who you came here for. You want the christian lunatic.

Let's give her a nickname to make this easier. I have the Sylveon build a bear on my PC desk. Let's call her Syl.

Syl was not there for Half Life, she was there for Portal. She LOVED Portal, Half Life was just part of the same universe for her. Portal wasn't just a game for her, it was her entire personality. Which I didn't see much of an issue with at the time, because she said she was 15. Whatever, I thought; she'll learn to control her emotional attachment to things as she gets older. Syl also said that she was christian. I am a flaming atheist who doesn't even believe in the concept of a soul in comparison and I am NOT the biggest fan of christianity as an institution to put it mildly, but I'm not gonna like, be a dick to you for your personal religion if you are not a dick about my beliefs, so I didn't think much of it at the time.

It quickly became apparent that Syl looked up to me more than any of the other adults in the group the more I would talk about my life growing up as a third culture kid and moving out on my own at 19, working 2 jobs and going to a good university. She would ask me a lot about growing up and uni and moving out and yes, sex ed, and it became even more apparent that she didn't get any actual guidance from her parents or pastors or ANYBODY beyond bible studies and homeschooling, so I kinda stumbled into a mentorship role in her life. I wasn't cold, but I was aware of the age and maturity difference between us and established the appropriate boundaries with her and made it very clear that I am an internet friend, not an irl friend or an educator, but if no one else was going to give her information that wasn't actively harmful then fuck, I guess SOMEONE had to do it. I could not in good conscience watch some kid go through life with harmful inaccuracies about the world and basic human biology when I could have done something about it, y'know?

And the more things I taught her about the real world and how things actually work rather than how her republican bible-thumping rural town said they did, the more I realized she was born into a full-blown cult under the guise of a christian congregation. Oh goody, I had my work cut out for me. I will not get into the details of how messed up this group was because it will be a dead giveaway of where she lives and potentially who she is, but let's just say that one time I said that I appreciated the gesture of praying for me during a stressful week I was having but it didn't really do anything for my mental health because I was an atheist, and she sent me a bunch of bible verses begging me to start believing and said "I just don't want you to go to hell because you're so nice :((" EXCUSE ME??? Another time she said that death was only sad for non-christians because their loved ones were in hell and that proper christians deaths were a good thing because they were in heaven now. Hi, that's the most insensitive death cult shit I've ever heard in my goddamn life.

Okay, set up is done. All of these details will tie in like the world's worst reboot of Pulp Fiction, I prommy.

After a good long while learning about the world from me (which like... a uni kid working night shift security is not exactly an academic source but we take what we can get) and exposure to viewpoints outside of her in-group, Syl began that very painful journey of realizing that what the cult taught you was a lie. Except that she just wasn't grasping that unlearning things was an active process. She started to flip to the opposite side very quickly, but kept all the fundamental brainwashing of the cult that raised her. The concepts were all the same, just slapped a different label on them. This created a noticeable pull between two sides of the same personality: the cult personality, and the person beyond the cult who wanted to break free. Mix that with how fucking 15 years old every 15 year old is, and you have a LETHAL concoction just waiting to blow up at the first sign of a spark.

Remember how I said that Portal was her whole personality? Syl decided that she wanted to be a scientist, and go into an ivy league program like I was in (I was in a SOCIAL science, but sure). Problem was, she didn't have the grades or the ambition, really. I had told her that I still got into an ivy league when I failed math in high school, and she seemed to completely miss the part where I said that I also joined every extra-curricular, then worked for 2 gap years for recognized institutions, and wrote an essay about why my math grade is not relevant to my program. I did it with one bad grade, so she was justified in basically just slacking off and then excusing it with "but its haaarrrdd" when we'd tell her she needs to put the fucking work in NOW if that's what she wants to do.

It quickly derailed from here. Not only was she going to be a scientist, she was going to be like Cave Johnson. And she was going to... replace her body with robot parts so she could be like glados. I don't... think she actually knew what science is, because she would just publically fantasize about running unethical experiments on people in the name of "science," and talk about how one day she wants to basically establish aperture labs for real. All of us who were there kind of agree that we don't think she was joking based on what we knew about her and the cadence of her tone. Here's something she said at the time to give you an idea of what direction she was nosediving in:

This was after a session with her therapist where said therapist said that she definitely has some kind of personality disorder, after which she was weirdly proud of having one and treated it like a badge of honour.

Syl then made a separate group chat for all the best friends she made on the server. There was her, me, @false-pyre, and @imtheaura. She titled it "My Family," despite the fact that we were all adults and she was 15 and she only knew us over a discord half life server where one person in it stepped up to somewhat equip her for real life outside of a cult. Regardless though that GC was more the vibe of a group of friends sharing memes and chatting about the day than the wider server was at the time. The others began to also take on a sort of mentorship role towards her as well, because that's kind of inevitable when you get someone talking about teenager problems in a room full of adults who all made the same mistakes before in their own lives. Well, minus the cult.

And remember how I said that she didn't unlearn any of the cult shit? Well, there was a lot of proselytizing. She decided she wasn't christian for a spell, but still wanted us and everyone to know that jesus was the lord and savior and we had to accept him or we'd burn in hell. Usually said after we'd make some joke about satan being daddy or declaring ourselves god instead, because that is just the type of humor the others and i have with each other. She took it so personally whenever one of us would go "oh my god" "you called?" it was fucking annoying. I lost count of the amount of lectures she gave us, all of which I'd shut down and tell her to get a grip about because I have a big stupid mouth.

The others and I also like to talk about evolution, and speculate about where we're going from here. My fucking god, did she not like that. She bit our heads off about how evolution isn't real and god made everyone as we are and there's no scientific evidence or whatever the hell. Like yeah good luck getting into STEM with that mindset. Whenever we pointed out that she was objectively wrong about that, she'd have a big stupid meltdown about how much we're slandering god and how jesus died for us and we're spitting in his face or whatever. He should spit in MY face inste-*GUNSHOT*

Eventually, we were making some actual progress with her. She was still one fry short of a happy meal and going off about how much she wanted to put living subjects in test tubes in between knocking on our doors and reciting Hello from the Book of Mormon musical, but we were getting somewhere. And then she went back to in person school, and her favourite teacher got fired.

The schoolboard did not say why she got fired, but we all had our suspicions that it was because she openly supported queer rights in a cult town. She was coincidentally retired shortly after making a declaration that queer people are still welcome in god's kingdom. This teacher was the first in person adult Syl had for guidance, so that incident shook her to her core, and she fell right back into the extremism. Hook, line, and sinker, even more extreme than before.

She was WEIRD that week, man. Suddenly everything was about how great god was, how amazing jesus was. Suddenly she understood why her cult member parents "just wanted to protect her" from gay characters on disney+ originals. Suddenly no one could say "jesus christ lol" around her or she'd have a fit. I said "I hate cycle counts lmao i wanna kms" because my then-job (I had graduated at this point) made me do inventory management spontaneously and wouldn't let me go home until I had counted every product in the store, and she bit my head off accusing me of turning suicide into a joke.

It was that incident that made us tell her to knock it off already, that we understood it was a hard week for her and she was in a period of grief, but that is no excuse for how she had been acting towards everyone around her that wasnt christian, and that she was actively relapsing. I'll let the exchange speak for itself:

So uh. After years of helping Syl through this she goes and pulls this bullshit. And then has the fucking AUDACITY to act like nothing ever happened in the wider server. I am genuinely gobsmacked by the balls on her to act like it was all sunshine and rainbows in the wider server after sending this and immediately leaving the same GC SHE made and titled "My Family" just because we told her to stop acting like a goddamn Jonestown citizen after all the work we'd put in to get her out of that mentality at this point.

So I dragged her up in front of everyone and essentially said "no, nuh uh, you don't get to say that shit to the people who have lost sleep and asked for nothing in return trying to help you escape a cult over the last 2 years and then act like we're all buddy buddy to everybody else. You don't get to be that arrogant and self-righteous without any consequences. I don't give a fuck how young you are, you DON'T treat the people who have helped you this much like that, you selfish little shit. How dare you treat us like this after all we've done for you over the years."

Unfortunately, no one involved had surviving screenshots of this, but they can back me up on it if they so choose. And oh boy, DID she face the consequences of her own actions. The whole server basically turned their heads and went "what the FUCK is wrong with you, Syl??" and asked her to at least like, apologize. She proceeded to double down with the added audacity of "you guys taught me how to establish healthy boundaries, that's all I'm doing right now :(( oh woe is me :(((" like WOW, okay. Someone's really going for the persecution complex.

Here's her last goodbye to us all before the mass block fest occured:

Oh, boohoo. You're so hard done by. You spat in the faces of everyone who stayed up all night multiple times helping you through crises and spent the last 2 years teaching you about how the world really worked and then they asked you to apologize after you tried to escape accountability. You truly are god's strongest soldier, the most persecuted minority in the world. Let me play you an ode to how righteous and holy you are and how this was the most important hill to sacrifice all your outsider friendships on on the world's smallest violin.

Syl then went on to post on her roleplay blog that she "was banned because I spoke up for what was right, and they didn't like that" before deleting it. Truly no one has suffered as much as you.

Anyway, the day after that went down, I called in from work, bought this book, and read the whole thing purely out of spite:

It was greatly therapeutic. After that incident, I vowed to never sanitize my own atheistic beliefs for the benefit of others again. If they don't like them, they don't have to talk to me. But I am not changing them for other people or keeping them quiet just to spare your feelings anymore, I have as much a right to my beliefs as anyone else does, including the world's most persecuted minority here.

And well, the silica gel incident?

There was one incident, during the height of Syl's "I am the irl cave johnson and only want to get into STEM to conduct unethical experiments on people. follow jesus" era, the rest of us were joking about how silica gel packets are the ultimate forbidden snack, and said "haha would eating it make you see shrimp colours" knowing full well it can kill you.

Syl proceeded to actually eat a silica gel packet and then send in "it has a sandy texture and tastes bad" prompting the rest of us to go "WE WERE FUCKING JOKING FIND YOUR POISON CONTROL HOTLINE RIGHT NOW"

And because i didnt get this done until now, I'll tag everyone who said they wanted to read this or expressed interest: @captainjonnitkessler @formydarlingtoread @cra-zwizard @chasingnightrainbows

#ramblings #what do i even tag this

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yuurivoice · 2 days

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Ever since I found out that you’re a Black Butler fan as well I have to ask do you like the anime or the manga?

And which voice actor do you like J. Michael Tatum or Daisuke Ono for Sebastian?

I personally like both anime, manga and voice actors 😁

Sorry if it sounds like I’m excited. I just happy to know that my favorite ASMR voice actor likes Black Butler too.

I tried to catch up with the Manga years ago but I sorta just gave up lol my introduction was the anime when it came to Netflix back in the day!

It wouldn't have been something I'd watch at the time, I was buried deep in the closet in a long term relationship...but old girl was TOTALLY the type to watch Black Butler and I was along for the ride. I ended up loving it, and it was definitely responsible for me shedding a lot of my typical masculine bullshit. Silly that it could lead me in that direction, but sometimes it just takes a nudge.

Sebastian was everything to me. Dub was my exposure to it, and Tatum is one of my VA goats, so it was awesome. Ono is obviously godlike in his own right so you really can't go wrong.

Obviously there's SO MUCH wrong with the fandom's ships, etc and so forth, and in my older age and maturity I don't feel like wading back through the ick just because I love sexy butlers and the Victorian aesthetic, but the series really marked a huge turning point in my life so it has a special place in my heart. 😭

Also, Grell was probably my gateway character to wanting to learn more about trans folks and breaking out of a lot of the ingrained phobias that young men are conditioned into. Not sure what really made the light bulb go off, but I'm pretty sure that it was me hopping on Tumblr and seeing how people felt about Grell (despite the problems with the depiction as well) and realizing...oh shit this is a thing. It's been a thing and I didn't really get it. Then I got it. Or at least got it enough to want to learn more and be more considerate. It's funny because maybe nowadays the concept of having to have an aha moment about gender issues seems like you must live under a rock, but I was a lil baby when Ace Ventura came out. If you know what I mean by that, then you know 90's kids were raised on trans issues being a punchline at best, but usually outright hateful. So yes, the silly little hypersexual trans anime character did in fact have a positive impact despite being imperfect. 😂

Sorry for the yap session, I just have a lot of feelings about Black Butler. It's so flawed, but so special to me at the same time. It set off a whole chain of events that led me in a much more positive direction. That's dope.

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daily-hanamura · 6 months

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#p4 #persona 4 #p4g #persona 4 golden #hanamura yosuke #yosuke hanamura #god do i have so much to talk about in this scene #first of all yu's hug kills me because thats a very intimate hug thats not a bro hug where you put your arm around their shoulders #thats a hug where he put his arms around yosuke's waist!!!!#when yosuke says that's for girls... i kind of see what he means? personally id only hug my romantic partner the same way but hey #second of all and more seriously i think this is a really good example of how Yosuke's words frequently fail to match up against his action #yosuke might complain about how the hug is for girls but it doesnt stop him from holding on #the scene fades to black and yu says they stayed on the riverbank until yosuke calmed down #so they mught as well have hugged for the whole time?#idk im personally obsessed with the contradictions between what yosuke says and what he does because expressing himself is not his strength #Yosuke's words cannot be reliably taken at face value but i think his friends - and yu especially - come to learn and accept that abt him

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vyeoh · 4 months

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I'm rewatching all the Marvel Defenders shows on Netflix and as much as I mock the MCU now, I need non-Marvel fans to understand that I was and still am a fan of "Daredevil fighting the gentrifying assshole who bought out the police force because ACAB both as a lawyer and vigilante of the community" and "Jessica Jones fighting the man who mind controlled her into doing unspeakable things and forming a community of fellow survivors and allies while dealing with PTSD in a range of both healthy and unhealthy ways" Marvel. God I love these idiots they carried so hard

#vio.txt #mcu #marvel #jessica jones #daredevil #also the two of them induced so much bi panic in me. also gender envy. jessica jones is one of the few women i get gender envy fron #the iron fist and luke cage shows were...more mid but still leagues above current marvel shows #like. yes be anti-mcu but these were masterpieces #and yes this is why i was so pissed about them putting daredevil in she hulk and trying to make him iron man 2.0 #like! yes hes suave and charming but thats bc its his lawyer job!! he works in a law firm he and his friends started to serve his community #he is NOT 'i am rich and better than u' charming. he is 'i learned how to talk fancy for my degree and i have empathy' charming #and not bringing the other guys over either???? bruhhh #marvel really cancelled the best things they did on the screen #matt murdock my original red and black round glasses wearing sadboy what did they do to you #also!! can i mention that these shows had such better representation than nowadays marvel #murdock's actor doing extensive research on blind motility for the role #jessica and trish's friendship and how trish immediately believes jess about kilgrave #the whole!!! unique community feel of harlem and in luke's bar #hogarth whos both jessica's employer and foggy's boss in later seasons being a lesbian and having Real Marriage Issues #and also being a conplex and kinda shitty person #iron fist was....eh but that's why it was the worst one lmao #OH YEAH HOW COULD I FORGET MY GIRL KAREN #karen page getting a whole storyline in s1 about her dealing w ptsd and then getting fleshed out backstory and her own adventures #like ok it was kinda weird in daredevil that she dated like every guy bc she was the female lead 💀#but even then foggy and matt and her figuring their shit out like adults. like they shot their shots and it didnt pan out. still besties th #disney would never allow such good writing in current times #but a boy can wish

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 8 months

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Wait holdup what’s this about Howdy’s shop burning down and nearly taking him with it?? (talking about human au)

oh yeah lmfao it caught fire

it wasn't like... foul play or anything. in my mind it was some sort of electrical failure or bizarre accident. like a lightning strike! actually wait i like that lightning strike idea bc then it could be Raining for this very dramatic scene and i do love me some rain juxtaposing fire <3

and Howdy would've been fine! he got all of his employees and customers out of the building, including himself. he handed them off to Barnaby & Wally, who had been swinging by for dinner with fantastic timing (the fire department was just then arriving). then, like an idiot, Howdy went right back inside the Very On Fire building!

bc, ok, he lives in his store. specifically, above it. the ground floor is the store, then there's a staircase going up to an apartment. and naturally, Howdy was not gonna abandon all of his / the store's legal documents (also his coupon stash) to burn.

so in his mind he was like "yeah ill just pop in, grab these very important files, and then get out. easy!". babe, you're giving Barnaby & Wally a heart attack. that's what you're doing. dumbass (affectionate)

but yeah he's in there, in the burning building, smoke everywhere. meanwhile outside firefighters (and Wally) have to physically hold Barnaby back from going in after Howdy, even though a few more firefighters already went in to find him. its all very dramatic! blah blah blah the front door becomes unusable, blah blah blah the apartment windows explode due to thermal stress & also bc i want them to, etc etc

long story short the firefighters get Howdy out through the back, and mostly unscathed at that! ofc smoke inhalation is a thing, he's got some minor cuts and burns, but it's really not that bad! lucky bastard! he gets taken to the hospital to get treated & make sure he's fine, and he is.

naturally he stays with Barnaby & Wally for a while. he doesn't have a say in the matter lol he was planning on getting a motel room or somethin, but Barnaby picked him up from the hospital, took him home, and went "alright the guest room is ready for you we can go shopping tomorrow for anything you need, you live here now". good thing Howdy rescued his coupons!

the fire damage to the building is, thankfully, mostly cosmetic. it takes a while to clean & fix it, but Howdy has great friends and a wonderful community to help out! everyone chips in, some fundraisers happen, Wally sells some Darling™️ Exclusives™️, etc. long story short they get the store back up & running, and with some new bells and whistles to go with it!

#the scene is Very Vivid in my head #i had to sneak some action drama in there somewhere!!!!#what better than a building fire!! what can i say! im a sucker for the #'character watches person they love run straight into danger & is unable to follow them'#'and so is forced to watch in terror unsure if the loved one will make it out alive'#trope!!! its damn good!!! ill never tire of it!!!#the rain glittering in the firelight! the red-blue of emergency lights! glass raining down! wet pavement & black smoke!#its about The Visuals!!#i think my favorite part of the Brain Scene is when they get howdy out & he's like. half collapsed on the curb w/ an oxygen mask #and barnaby is Hovering! very freaked out but also immensely relieved! as soon as he learns theyre taking howdy to the hospital #he sprints to his car to go follow the ambulance!!#(in my mind julie eddie and sally had shown up & wally stayed with them to answer questions / keep an eye on things)#but yeah! drama Babey!!!#rambles from the bog #wh modern human au #i feel so bad for howdy lmfao #like... that store is his Everything and it got crispied. so did his home. and pretty much all his possessions #i also feel very bad for barnaby! he has a bad year bc of Two Incidents!#barnaby 'if one more person i love winds up injured in the hospital im going to Lose It' b. beagle #barnaby: well that whole fire thing was a disaster but we're all okay <3 with any luck there'll be no more hospital visits <3 #wally: im about to end this mans whole career-#ough and the arc of howdy living with them for a bit.... ougggghhhh #bc he & barns are in that 'our mutual feelings are unspoken but we both Know' inbetween state #its like a trial run for their future lmfao #except. a depressed trial run. bc howdy is very fucking upset about losing his Home & Possessions #a piece of the world he'd carved out for himself that was His and no one else's #he has a period of pushing through with an 'everything is fine i can work w this' pained grin and emotional avoidance #until obviously he hits a wall and Crashes. depressy spaghetti time!#he'll be fine but he doesn't feel like it for a while <3 good thing he's got awesome friends to keep him afloat <3

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hiding-under-the-willow · 10 months

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Tossing and turning in bed plagued by visions (Ed Edgar headcanons that are definitely just me projecting my cowboy ass autistic interest in strange animals onto him bc he too is a strange southern man with autistic swag)

#atlas speaks #i think he keeps exotic animals. not in like a joe exotic tiger king 'I'm raising endangered mammals that could kill me in my bedroom' way #but like. he has a bunch of venomous snakes and weird spiders. his living room is just lined with shelves and shelves of terrariums #i think you see him interact with his strange and dangerous pets and it's like meeting a whole new person #he is so much less of an asshole the second he is looking at a weird bug #i think he would love camel spiders in particular. those fuckers are so weird he'd love it #and bold jumping spiders. bc they're native to where he grew up #you take him out hiking or some sblhit and he starts acting like that guy on tiktok who hunts for pythons in the florida everglades #he's picking up snakes with his bare hands like #'oh yeah this is a black racer! they're totally harmless but they've got a lot of personality ^-^' while it aggressively bites his arm #he tried showing Bim the David Bowie Huntsman once. he's like 'Bowie is a gay icon Bim'll love this' and quickly learns Bim is arachnophobic #he's waving around cane toads like 'oh my god guys look at the poison glands on this thing!!!'#i feel like he'd love eastern hognose snakes too he loves the silly fucking way they play dead #anyways what I'm saying is give him a educational nature show let him do some weird shit out in the wild it's his natural habitat #he's the types of guy to stand barefoot on the asphalt next to a diamondback to get it to cross the road so it doesn't get run over #I'm hoping releasing these thoughts into the world frees me from them so i can sleep lol can you tell #anyways he absolutely handles like black widows and brown recluse with his bare hands like a madman #he would love eel pit guy #anyways this is his one redeeming quality he is still the worst in every other way 👍

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gxlden-angels · 1 year

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I don't know how many of you watch/listen to Belief it or Not but I love his concern about a USAmerican pastor bringing a gun on stage for a message cause my old pastor openly bragged about being armed all the time

#gun mention #gun tw #and yes of course it was in the southeast #yeehaw :)))#I hated it #I understand the reasons why and it's very nuanced especially in the aftermath of multiple attacks on black churches #black churches are a staple of black communities and while I don't like christianity #I will defend the right of black churches to keep serving their communities #I hated his weird 'look at me I'm so modern and hip I'm not a pacifist like most christians' energy #It was really fuckin weird and it made me feel so uneasy #He implied most christians are passive and hate guns as if 'god guns and glory' wasn't a whole thing #idk I've had some iffy experiences with guns so I don't like them #and that was one of them #gave me bad anxiety of 'if you have a gun here (what I thought was the safest/holiest place as a kid)#then that means everywhere else is even less safe than I thought since you still need protection here #and no one helped me cause a) fear being sin and b) them holding onto the idea of Jesus personally protecting their church from harm #so they insisted that was and would always be the case #and starting to grow up in the social media scape and constantly learning about tragedy even in churches #well let's just say my OCD didn't come from nowhere #was genuinely convinced Id cause a shooting by worrying about it too much #I'm a lot better now #I'm much secure in the idea of a world of neutrality #Things happen and things don't happen and that's how chaos and nature work #I am not better or safer at a church but it doesn't mean Im never safe #And it doesn't mean Im never loved #anyways I got off topic this was meant to be a yeehaw Im from the south pew pew guns merica am I right? type post #but y'all know how I am I've gotta lot to say #thanks for reading <3 #ex christian #religious trauma

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just-rogi · 8 months

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I didn’t realize how isolating growing up in a all white town with all white friends (who loved me very much mind you!!) was until I started spending more time with black and brown women and it’s like oh OH!!

This weekend we were all getting ready together and doing our hair and makeup and one of my friends was sitting me down braiding my textured hair SO DELICATELY!! And she had me sit face to face while she laid my edges and made sure my curls were perfect and like!!!!! It HEALED my soul!!!

#like idk I did dance for years so I’m no stranger to girls doing eachothers hair #but man #it felt so healing to have my friend do my hair and know what she was doing #she also grew up in the same area and we talk a LOT about how isolating it was being in this place between two worlds #and when I said how healing it was having her do my hair she was just beaming at me the whole time #bc yea #she also never had anyone who could check her curls or share hair products #and keep in mind we have a mutual WHITE friend who learned how do box braids and twists and bought black hair products for her apartment #so when we stay over we can do our hair #like we had it GOOD #but man having another person with textured hair handle my hair so carefully and knowledgeably and with so much love #it really healed me #I’m on my healing journey this year I think

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beatcroc · 1 year

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I just wanna say thank you for reblogging all the stuff spreading awareness of recent antisemitism that you have recently. You are the only person I follow who isn't jewish who I've seen do so at all (Unless I'm mistaken and you are jewish too). I know not everyone is aware of every single bad thing happening in the world at any moment, and don't think people HAVE to reboot about negative events or whatever, but how much you seem to care really warms my heart and reassures me we aren't alone (Unless, once again, I am mistaken and you are jewish)

👍but nah i'm not jewish, just pissed off

#doing the talking for this one IN the tags bc i would really rather be answering this privately lol #feels so weirdly like. performative. to say it out in the open but whatver #i just have so much. anger. abt this shit #every time i turn around and learn about some random history/culture event or fixture its like #'oh yeah and originally this got started to shit on jewish ppl' and its just like how is this so deeply fucking ingrained in everything #and like i'm black so. without trying to compare the two too directly for obvious reasons #i do in some ways understand the thing with the whole system being slanted against you like that #AGAIN not comparing 1:1 because the history of jews being scapegoated for everything ever and always getting the shit end of the stick #is like leagues apart and beyond stuff thats gone down w/ blacks' histories #but i get the infuriation and the sting of people just. not fucking caring or even NOTICING The Issues #to be clear i am unbelievably sheltered and ignorant about like every culture ever+ usually unmotivated to search things out on my own #so endless thanks to my jewish friends/mutuals for just bein themselves and passively keeping me like. informed.#abt basics for not being antisemitic and how to respect jewish culture #cause god knows im not gonna hear it out in everyday society or whatever #yeag. and anyway i also have personal beef #from being raised christian and having to get away from [gestures broadly at the whole of christian teachings]#and im like. you killed people for this? to do things this badly? you stomped out their culture and practices to bring THIS into the world?#literally fuck off and die nothing you taught me is even a fraction as... idk. rewarding? as the fragments ive seen of jewish culture #rewarding or like. hopeful or meaningful maybe. its hard to put an exact word to it but to speak it more directly-#i am Wildly Misanthropic but whenever i learn stuff about jewish culture im like.#you know if these sorts of ideals were more widespread i probably wouldn't hate humanity so much.#[i also feel this way abt native americans but thats a whole ass other thing.]#[similarly seeing people whose ideals i also value being consistently treated like shit tends to just fuel the misanthropy soooooo...]#its like these are the people who actually know how to live and this is what the greater populace thinks of them? lmao ok #[to be clear i live in the usa so you can imagine the kind of culture im Actually exposed to lolllll]#at any rate reblogging a post on social media really feels a negligble gesture but im glad it's appreciated nonetheless

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arolesbianism · 5 months

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Hi gamers guess who's thinking abt unit swap stuff again. Shiho and Saki discussing who would be best fit to play the cast in their musicals knowing full well they're going to assign Honami to the main character like they always do and the Saki will insist on playing the main villain like she always does and then Ichika gets stuck playing every other character while also playing the trumpet like he always does

#rat rambles #sekai posting #unit swap au #shiho initially only does backstage work when it comes to their actual shows but eventually they get talked into taking some on stage roles #also yeah Ive been fleshing them out a bit more but mostly in the concept department as unfortunately there rly isnt much more I can do #without fleshing out wxs too and Im too scared to and also have too few ideas #most of what I've said in the past of each of their general roles in production still holds true but Ive musicalified them #one thing I do want to do with them is have them make more and more connections with the other units as time goes on #so eventually what was initially going to be a 2 person project turns into a whole hord of ppl helping shiho and the gang #this is mostly because of my current vison of unit swap shiho and I think itd be cute to see them be surrounded by so much support #they still mostly insist on only having the 4 of them perform on stage but occasionally rui pops in to help with backstage stuff in shows #shiho is an actual actor in and plenty of folks will show up to help with set design #also fun honami struggling rly hard with acting until eventually it starts to click and suddenly the others keep asking her for advice and #she has absolutely no idea what to tell them because she doesnt even know how she started being able to stand on stage without trembling #let alone how she got to a point where others look up to her acting she just walks on stage blacks out and then wins #the secret is that in the dance club she joined to try to get better endurance minori pushed her into the deep end on accident #you see minori made the club along side airi to basically try to get a better grasp on dancing by teaching it since she had spent most of #her time just learning and practicing by herself and airi was like well maybe a good way to wrap your head around it better would be to #stop bashing your head into the same wall and try changing your perspective with it a bit #or smth like that again still in development stuff #and since minori basically threw herself in the deep end when she was first learning she tried to start similarly with the others #which had mixed results as it meant that they spent a lot longer on parkour than dancing during the first year dvskdhjd #all while minori continued to give everyone else heart attacks every meeting with her messed up cartoon luck #but hey all of this did absolute wonders for honami's physical capabilities and also for her confidence to a degree at least #bad news now saki always tries to write in unecesary action in every scene and shiho has to be like we are not making honami do a backflip #everytime she has a line #also Im sure you could put two and two together by now but yeah saki and shiho write most of the scripts together #ichika usually helps with the music composition and all of them work together to brainstorm and create the set pieces and costumes #they may have like zero budget but they have the power of ✨friendship✨ and also eventually rui #oh yeah and honami plans out most of the choreography with some imput from the others

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mossy-rock-in-a-field · 4 months

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Several weeks ago, my retirement-age mother requested that I play Baldur’s Gate 3 for her because she has trouble with controllers/keyboards and wanted “to see what all the fuss is about with that cute wizard boy.” For context, my mother and I have done this sort of thing in the past with certain RPGs (dragon age, mass effect, etc.), but it’s been a few years since she’s personally requested a game like this. Basically, I control her Tav but let her make all the choices so she can determine how the story plays out without worrying about mechanics. She treats it like a choose-your-own-adventure book.

Anyway, here is a list of some of the things my mother has said and/or chosen to do throughout the course of BG3 in no particular order:

She is (obviously) romancing Gale. She is quite smitten with him and his passion for books and learning; she also thinks he’s polite and qualifies as “relationship material.” She also REALLY likes the things he’s said about his cat so far (my mom is a cat lady), so I know she’s gonna flip shit when we meet Tara in Act III.

She’s playing a normal druid Tav with a generally good alignment. Her favorite spell is Spike Growth because she thinks it’s hilarious whenever enemies walk into the AOE and die. I usually end up having to cast it at least once per battle per her request. Sometimes twice.

Contrary to her alignment, my mother tasks me with robbing every single chest, crate, barrel, and burlap sack we come across; this also includes people and their pockets. The party is always at max carrying capacity. ALWAYS. She doesn’t like selling things because “what if I need them.” The camp stash is in literal shambles. There is no hope of organizing it. She’s got like fifty seven sets of rags and a billion pieces of random silverware.

She MUST talk to every animal and corpse in the game. I think five hours of her total playtime so far (47ish) has been spent speaking to animals as many times as humanly possible. Like, I was thorough in my own playthroughs, but this is on a whole other level.

She did NOT get Volo’s lobotomy, but she did let Auntie Ethel take her eye in hopes of a cure for the tadpole. I did not understand the logic then. I still do not understand it now.

She is far more interested in fashion than equipment stats. Do you have any idea how much gold I’ve had to spend on dyes just to make things match? SO much. Same vibe as that “please someone help me balance my finances my family is starving” tweet but instead of candles it’s thirty thousand fucking bottles of black and furnace red dye.

We broke the prisoners out of Moonrise, but they got on the boat too early and bugged the fight by leaving Astarion and Karlach behind. Wulbren Bongle somehow got stuck in combat mode even after engaging the cutscene on the docks below Last Light; he he kept trying to run ALL THE WAY BACK TO MOONRISE nine fucking meters at a time while I frantically tried to finish the fight with the Warden, otherwise Wulbren would have run straight into the shadow curse. (I would’ve let him go; fuck Wulbren Bongle, all my homies hate Wulbren Bongle. But my mom didn’t know that, and she wanted to keep him safe. So.)

She had me reload a save like eighteen times to save the giant eagles on top of Rosymorn Monastery. Wouldn’t even let me do non-lethal damage just to get past things. I think getting that warhammer for the dawnmaster puzzle took us like an hour and a half alone. (Yes, I know you can use any warhammer, but SHE didn’t.)

She’s started keeping an irl notebook to keep track of her quests between play sessions. She writes down ideas and strategies when she thinks of them during the week, then brings them to her next game session at my house. I think she wrote about three pages on possible approaches to the goblin fortress alone.

She insists that I pet Scratch and the owlbear cub before every single long rest, no exceptions. Sometimes I have to do it multiple times until she is absolutely sure that the animals know exactly how much she loves and cherishes them. She has also commissioned a crocheted owlbear plush from a friend of hers and is very excited.

I’m sure there’s a bunch of stuff I’m forgetting, but those are some fun things I thought of. She’s enjoying the game and is telling all of her retired friends to get it and play it for themselves. She asked me “what is Discord” yesterday and I think my life flashed before my eyes.

anyway shout out to my mom for being neat

Part 2 — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #gale #gale of waterdeep #astarion #gale dekarios #laq talks #I talk #she stares at me real hard after she makes a choice too #like squinting to see if my expression gives anything away #if it was a good or bad call #I keep my face blank as shit it’s hilarious #I have not told her I’m writing fanfic for this game #nor will I ever #jesus christ

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headspace-hotel · 2 years

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I want to make people see how much has been taken away from them.

Did you know that there are dozens of species of fireflies, and some of them light up with a blue glow? Did you know about the moths? There are thousands of them, bright pink and raspberry orange and checkerboard and emerald. They are called things like Black-Etched Prominent, Purple Fairy, Pink-Legged Tiger, Small Mossy Glyph and Black-Bordered Lemon.

Did you know that there are moths that feed on lichens? Did you know about the blue and green bees? The rainbow-colored dogbane beetles? Your streams are supposed to teem with newts, salamanders, crawdads, frogs, and fishes. I want to take you by the hand and show you an animal you've never seen before, and say, "This exists! It's real! It's alive!"

There are secret wildflowers that no website will show you and that no list entitled "native species to attract butterflies!" will name. Every day I'm at work I see a new plant I didn't know existed.

The purple coneflowers and prairie blazing star are a tidepool, a puddle, and there is an ocean out there. There are wildflowers that only grow in a few specific counties in a single state in the United States, there are plants that are evolved specifically to live underneath the drip line of a dolomite cliff or on the border of a glade of exposed limestone bedrock. Did you know that different species of moss grow on the sides of a boulder vs. on top of it?

There are obscure trees you might have never seen—Sourwood, Yellowwood, Overcup Oak, Ninebark, Mountain Stewartia, Striped Maple, American Hophornbeam, Rusty Blackhaw, Kentucky Coffeetree. There are edible fruits you've never even heard of.

And it is so scary and sad that so many people live and work in environments where most of these wondrous living things have been locally extirpated.

There are vast tracts of suburb and town and city and barren pasture where a person could plausibly never learn of the existence of the vast majority of their native plants and animals, where a person might never imagine just how many there are, because they've only ever been exposed to the tiny handful of living things that can survive in a suburb and they have no reason to extrapolate that there are ten thousand more that no one is talking about.

It's like being a fish that has lived its whole life in a bucket, with no way of imagining the ocean. The insects in your field guide are a fraction of those that exist, of all the native plants to your area only a handful can be bought in a nursery.

Welcome to the Earth! It's beautiful! It's full of life! More things are real and beautiful and alive than a single person could imagine!!!

#nature #conservation #ecosystems

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faeriekit · 4 months

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#i'm very pro danny accidentally adopts a whole bunch of talons previous installments

The next day, the body was back.

The green was gone from its eyes, but the awareness wasn't; it spent about an hour watching people go around outside Danny's apartment, which was new behavior. None of the corpses that shadowed him had shown any interest in garden-variety humans before. Now it sat at the window and watched families come home from school or head to their afternoon shifts.

That went into Danny's notes.

After that hour, it taught itself to flush the toilet repeatedly, rearranged the contents of Danny's half-assed linen closet (again) and then stood hovering over the safe where Danny had stashed the ectoplasm.

"...Okay," said Danny.

The dead body croaked. It was a new sound, but there was no context for it. Danny just kind of...wrote it down and hoped for the best.

The day after, Danny woke up at a very reasonable ten forty eight in the morning to find stray corpses feeding each other spoonfuls of ectoplasm in the kitchen.

At that point he kind of had to throw out the notes on how much each one was dosed with, because what the fuck.

"Really?!" Danny shouted, spooking the bodies into fleeing behind chairs and doors and back into his closet again. The only one that didn't flee was Danny's ringmaster corpse of the hour, of course. "You really couldn't wait??"

It stuck out a withered black tongue out at the mortician, who was, really, the victim in all of this. A victim to his parents' whims and a victim to the dead people who followed him around all the time.

This was how Danny found out that, when it doubt, the corpses could just tear through solid steel if they were motivated enough. The finger-marks were so deep and so embedded that they actually looked more like rough claws in the metal.

Great.

Danny ordered a new locking cage for the fridge on Prime and darted off to work. One of his regulars was on the table, though, so Danny just ended up doing what he would have at home— sewing up a gash in its neck and reattaching dead fingers back onto dead stumps.

On the third day, in which four of Danny's frequent fliers had learned from the first how to flush the toilet (and therefore raise the water bill immensely) Danny got a ring from a dark voice he (almost) recognized.

"Is he here?"

Danny squinted, jerking the phone further under his ear as he whipped up some scrambled eggs. The dead girl leaning over his shoulder leaned a little closer to watch the egg froth up. "Is who here? Who is this?"

"This is Batman. Is— the body requisitioned from your facility currently at your place of residence?"

Danny fully let go of the whisk. It landed haphazardly in the glass bowl he'd been stirring in. "What on Earth is a Batman?" he asked, incredulous.

"I visited your workplace previously."

Oh! "Yeah, the cop's friend. I remember now." Danny pulled the whisk out of the liquid eggs and held it out to the body. The unusually animate cadaver mostly prodded the whisk wires and paid no attention to him. "No one's here but me, though. Not that it's your business...?"

"And there are no non-living bodies currently in your apartment?"

Danny ignored the flushing noise in the other room. "I don't know, dude. They practically live in the walls at this point. Don't come over unless you have a warrant."

The call ended with a click.

His omelette turned out amazing, by the way. In case you were wondering.

On the fourth day, the ectoplasm was gone, because the corpses had apparently all taught each other how to lockpick the container in the fridge.

"Okay, some of that was meant to be my dinner. No more lotion at the funeral home now, okay? Now you all can be ashy forever. I'm so serious," Danny complained to the only visible dead person in the room.

The dead person held up a cracked egg. It was probably a gesture of peace, but now there was egg on his vinyl flooring to deal with. And. It wasn't exactly all that comforting in the end.

On the fifth day, Danny awoke to the sensation of a hand jamming itself through his neck until it punched into the mattress beneath him.

Fuck.

#dp x dc #I'm very pro Danny accidentally adopts a whole bunch of talons #could absolutely be an excuse for #talon!dick #talons #faer fic #dpxdc #dcxdp #death tw #well. the funeral industry anyway #medical tw #corpse tw #dead people #dcu crossover #the original post is free to a good home but I'm just chugging along here

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uglyducklingofthe2000s · 1 month

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Little Do They Know - LN

Summary: Lando and y/n are in a secret relationship, but he makes no secret of his obsession and the world is just begging for y/n to notice and do something about it (that something being to date the man at the very least)

Sidenote: petition to bring back the white fireproofs from below? I never been a white fireproof girlie but the Alpinestars design and the black collar...it better than the normal bland white fireproofs we seen in the past.

F2 champ 2023/McLaren Reserve!reader

No part 2 requests please

When McLaren announced they were taking on F2 champion as their reserve driver, it only surprised everyone because y/n is a woman and the idea of there being a woman on the grid if one of the McLaren drivers was unable to drive has somewhat shook the F1 world.

It's unlikely, rarely do drivers ever sit out of a race unless hospitalised. Mainly because losing that many points in the standings is not worth the loss overall.

"I like these fireproofs." Y/n comments as she appears from the unit, joining Lando and Oscar.

"You look beautiful in them." Lando smiles taking her hand and raising it to make her do a spin. "You are so pretty."

Oscar has already moved away because despite y/n being the third driver, he is always the third wheel.

"You scared Oscar away again." Y/n sighs before her name is called by one of the comms team. "I gotta go. Have fun actually being in the car."

Lando winks at her withholding the urge to kiss her goodbye as she walks over to the comms girl, Ally. Usually there's not much interest in a reserve driver but usually a reserve driver isn't so focused on but her gender does make her someone they want to talk to.

"So how is the team feeling about the first race?" The reporter asks making Lando puff out a breath.

"Great. Oscar and I are great. We have y/n who is the most amazing reserve driver. Does the sim runs, testing, she is the greatest addition to the team and actually I think she's the best person in the team. Always has a laugh, super cuddly, the smartest person technically I've met to join the team. No offence to Carlos, Daniel or Oscar."

"That's some very big feelings for y/n. I'm sure it feels nice for her to learn all of that." The reporter smiles making Lando shrug with a grin.

"She's amazing to me. I can't talk about her enough. Guess I'm her number one fan and I'm not sorry for it." Lando states continuing to praise her.

It's only in his next interview that he's actually asked about her, although as proven he doesn't have to be to feel the need to talk about y/n.

"So how are you feeling about y/n?"

"She's my new favourite person. From my side of the friendship, she's easily my best friend."

"Oscar has to be hurt."

"No. He's got other friends. I just force y/n to be my friend and keep her away from the other drivers. Wouldn't want them tainting her." Lando jokes not even caring how he sounds, it is actually a joke. Y/n is friends with most of the drivers on the grid. "No, really everyone loves her. But we've really gotten close and I'm so happy to have her around."

After a few more interviews that seem to either ask about the car, his feelings or inevitably how the team is which leads to Lando bringing up his favourite person.

"You are not subtle." Y/n comments as she comes across Lando having herd from the comms team that Lando hasn't shut up about her.

"I'm just talking my girlfriend up-"

"Well the whole point of us keeping the relationship between us is that you at least try your hand at subtlety." Y/n smile, not actually made but finding it pretty endearing. "You know the comms team agrees that for now, it's better not to be airing anything out. As much as I know you really want to display that I'm not up for any other drivers to have. It also wouldn't kill you to compliment your own teammate every once in a while."

"It's not like I insulted him." Lando murmurs earning a small laugh. "Plus Oscar knows."

"He does. So I'm sure he'll take it on the chin. But giving him a compliment wouldn't hurt either."

"Ok, I'll do better." Lando promises before pausing. "I gave him loads of praise last year when he was new."

"Then it shouldn't be hard to keep going with that." Y/n smiles patting his back. "On the bright side neither of us are busy doing other stuff. So the McLaren trio...once we find Oscar, can strut around here."

It's post quali that y/n gets caught by Naomi and Simon.

"You have been the talk of the paddock, or at least the media in the paddock." Simon comments making her laugh and shrug as if she doesn't know exactly what they're talking about.

"Yeah, we expected a strong backing from McLaren. But Lando seems obsessed with you." Naomi admits making y/n puff out a breath.

"I don't really know what you mean, he's very supportive but no more to me than he was to Oscar last year." Y/n states then tilting her head. "I'm just...super happy to have been so accepted into the team. Lando, Oscar, Zak, Andrea. I know I'm just the reserve but they've been, just great. So welcoming and trying to make sure I'm getting to see everything."

"That is amazing to hear. We've made so many leaps forward for woman in F1, but seeing you be part of the face of McLaren. You're so young, just hit 22 right?"

"Yeah, just newly 22." Y/n confirms with a smile.

"I bet Andrea feels like he's babysitting with three such young drivers. Speaking of-" Simon chuckles earning a smile before y/n feels two large and far too familiar hands clap on her waist a voice shouting a boo that does make her jump.

"Zero survival instinct." Lando comments then greeting Simon and Naomi as he's handed a mic to join them. "Zero survival instinct from her."

"Yeah, the mic didn't quite pick up the first time you said it." Y/n hums then smiling. "Since Lando's here I should probably-"

"Stay. Double the McLaren drivers, double the fun." Lando grins making her laugh and smile but even he can tell it's not the most genuine laughter. Then he looks at the hosts. "That's what I find."

"I feel like we're interupting someone." Simon jokes while Y/n shakes her head at them.

"Lando just likes to annoy the comms team. I am going to go, because I promise Laura I'd chat. But you enjoy the main character's company." Y/n smiles giving them each a hug and then finally laughing when Lando drags her into a hug and squeezes her before allowing her to leave.

Lando waits till she's gone to speak into the mic with his own amusement.

"She loves me really. I just like to annoy her." Lando grins then earning a look from the comms girl with him. "Anyway, she'll kill me if I keep talking about her. So qualifying?"

Y/n yawns as she hears the light tapping on her hotel door, Lando's gently knocking just loud enough to wake her up from her dozing.

As soon as he walks through the door, he scoops her up, nuzzling his face into her neck as she wraps her arms around him on top of his shoulders.

"Mmm...Are you mad?" Lando asks earning a very tired and short laugh.

"No. I'm not mad. I love you, even when you insist on being so obvious." Y/n assures him while he kicks the door closed and carries her to her bed, lifting her legs up to wrap around his waist.

He lies them on the bed with her under him while his head rests on her chest and her hand moves up to play with his curls. She also feels one of his hands come up to play with her boob but he suddenly frowns and looks up at her before returning to look at her boob as if he's inspecting it.

"You know, I've only known you 5 months. I've been dating you for 4. But...I know exactly what you boobs feel like when you're...you know." Lando mumbles making her almost choke out on her breath.

"First of all, you can say the word period Lando. You have a mother, two sisters and god knows how many female friends. But second of all, I only just came on when I got back. And lastly, how in the hell can you tell from my boobs?"

"They're a bit bigger, almost like...I don't know they're swollen or something. Do they hurt?" Lando asks seeming genuinely concerned for her like he's accidentally hurting her.

"No-well they're tender, I guess...more like when you press a bruise but not a super bad bruise." Y/n shrugs then clearing her throat. "Did you get in trouble with comms?"

"A little bit, they told me to reign it in. It's not so much the media but fans are going wild about our interactions. At least that's how they worded it." Lando smiles looking up at her. "I figured you'd know about them already because you're a little weirdo who watches every edit of me online."

"You can't call me a weirdo after you just told me you know when I'm on my period from feeling my boob." Y/n snorts gently pushing his head playfully. "But I have seen edits already of you grabbing and squeezing me on the Sky interview."

"That's what I like to hear." Lando grins moving up to kiss her a couple times and successfully roll so he's lying next to her, hiking her leg up to lie on him but so her body is still just nuzzled against his side. "I quite like going about talking you up but no one realising we're actually together. They just think I'm crushing hard and you're playing hard to get."

"Playing? I am hard to get, you were begging me for a date." Y/n teases then squealing when he reaches over to poke into her side to tickle her. "Ah, ok. Not begging, but it took you more than one attempt. Even you have to admit that."

Lando hums then yawning and reaching over to grab the blanket to pull it over them and turn off the lights from the bedside switch.

"Did you just put us both to bed?"

"You're tired, and I know I woke you up. You had that sleepy look."

Y/n smiles holding onto Lando more tightly before she allows herself to just completely pass out and fall asleep.

It was months more of Lando being all over y/n, not even commenting on speculation while y/n would simply shrug and say she just didn't understand the speculation.

The whole thing with the media and fans was beginning to be pretty entertaining.

"We've been dating for almost 8 months, did you know that?" Lando states as he walks into the McLaren unit making y/n look up form the data she'd been reviewing with some of the engineers who look suddenly uncomfortable and like they want to make an exit. "Sorry."

"I'll be right back guys." Y/n smiles then standing up and moving with Lando as she takes hold of his hand as she passes him. "You could choose better timing. But I did know...why do you bring it up? Because I know you wouldn't if you didn't think it was of some significance."

"I just was thinking...maybe..."

Y/n hums looking at him for a moment amused because she knows exactly what he's asking.

"You want me to finally just hard launch us so hard we might as well be one of the Red Bull rocket ships?" Y/n jokes then sighing as she leans back on the wall. "Like I said, your timing is a bit annoying. But I have been thinking about it. I feel like it's not someone that I'm going to struggle with like I kind of thought I might when you first asked."

"You don't have to."

"No. I want to. Plus I'm kind of a little sick of some fans who don't think we'd be good together getting smug online. So I think I'll happily finally let the world know but...I would rather you be the one to tell everyone. I'll confirm as secondary source."

"You speak like an encyclopaedia." Lando grins before kissing her a couple times. "I got a few photos and videos I've wanted to share of you-of the PG variety, get your head out the gutter with that smirk."

"Do I get to see first?"

"As if I'd finally post about you and not get your approval for the go ahead." Lando scoffs then stealing more kisses just to communicate his excitement about it. "Alright, I'm going to warn comms and marketing all about the impending media storm and circus. I'll let you finish up here too, come find me afterwards. Ok?"

"Ok." Y/n nods before being locked into a longer, much more heated and possessive kiss for much longer than the previous short pecks.

"Alright, gorgeous. I'm going. I promise. I won't come interrupt again."

"Thank you. I'll see you in a bit. I love you."

"I love you too. A lot."

And then he rushes off in an excitement.

Y/n spends another 30 minutes with the engineers before she finally gets up moving to find Lando and thankfully finding him tapping away at his phone.

"Boo." Y/n yells but annoyingly has no success in her scaring attempt. "Boo, you're supposed to scream."

"The only one of us making the other scream is me, baby." Lando smirks earning a deadpanned expression before he holds out his phone to her. "Ok, I think I got all the photos and videos. You say the word and the world knows."

Y/n flicks through he photos and videos then groaning at the last one.

"Really? You have to include a video of me drooling?"

"Aww...but you're so cute and you're drooling on me." Lando grins acting as if that makes it any more appealing. "I can remove that one if you really want."

She really wants but Lando looks genuine in not doing it just to rip the piss out of her and it does make it all a little more light-hearted.

"Fine, post it. But I already know I'm never living that video down." Y/n laughs handing it back. "Go on, post it. Preferably now before I lose my nerve and stop you."

That gives him the right hurry up and he just puts caption of red love hearts before hitting to post it. Then turns off his phone and tosses it away.

"Your phone too, no point in keeping it turned on. It's just going to blow up, even if it's not from socials. People are going to be messaging you about it." Lando states and actually she knows he's right.

Y/n gets locked into a Sky segment by Jenson Button, the man who seems to always be around when there's a juicy moment going on in the paddock

"So, when I woke up this morning. Seeing endless posts of the same video of you drooling on Lando Norris was not how I expected to spend my day when I looked at my phone." Jenson states making her smile.

"Well, you're welcome for spicing up your day." Y/n laughs making Jenson chuckle.

"So is this the official confirmation?"

"Yeah, I put it off for 8 months. Lando was ready to just confirm everything from the get go. I do have to say the way people just mistook it for a crush because I'm so good at bluffing. He did sort of counter my efforts constantly because he couldn't keep his mouth shut about me." Y/n grins before shrugging. "But the time felt right now."

"I really have only seen good things. everyone is so happy there's a new...Mr and Mrs McLaren."

"Oh god, that sounds so weird when you put it like that." Y/n shivers before she suddenly finds almost a repeat of history.

Large hands on her waist but this time she doesn't jump quite as much when he holds her tightly.

"Sorry guys, I have to steal her. She's wanted in the garage for something. Is that ok?" Lando asks looking between the hosts while y/n holds the mic to his mouth just out of instinct the camera might want to hear what he says.

"Yeah, of course. Sorry for keeping her from work duties."

"It's not work. When he says I'm wanted, it means he wants me in the garage because he's clingy and needy and now he doesn't have to hide it." Y/n states honestly before smiling. "But I'll take an out when I get it. I'm sure I'll come back and we'll talk later."

The group laugh and agree they'll likely see her later before Lando successful steals her away to the garage.

"So am I going to be called out on camera more often now?"

"Only when necessary." Y/n grins before moving around to look at his car. "Can I get in?"

One thing Lando rarely gets to see but has really grown to love completely. seeing her in an F1 car, specifically his F1 car. But really he'd love to see her in her own.

He has actually see her do tyre testing in one of the old cars. Getting to choose her own number for the testing and fully commit herself to it all.

She chose number 7, because she thinks it's lucky and she liked the idea of having Kimi Raikkonen's number.

"You don't have to ask." Lando states then watching her grin and climb into the car.

Her helmets aren't around so he just grabs his own and places it over her head gently, making sure she sees it coming before he does so since having your head shoved in a helmet definitely needs warning beforehand.

Later on, on their way out of the paddock. Lando and her both stop to sign things. Initially she never used to get asked, but a following has amassed for her and especially in the confirmation of her relationship with Lando. There's a whole load of people who suddenly want to have her sign things. Surprisingly a lot of Lando's mini helmets.

"Hey, I made you this bracelet and one for Lando too. I made them before you told everyone that you guys are dating. But now you get to match anyway." A young woman states brightly looking almost nervous as y/n suddenly feels struck with a slightly new emotion.

She's watched Lando and Oscar, and actually a lot of the drivers get bracelets. But she's never been given a bracelet for herself. Hell she's even been used as a means to give other drivers a bracelet.

"Thank you so much. I'll make sure Lando gets his." Y/n smiles before quickly wiping at her eyes. "These are happy tears I promise. I've just never had someone make me a bracelet and give me one."

There's more than one person pointing their phone at her, proving the embrassing moment of crying over a bracelet is captured on video. But another thanks and she moves over to Lando.

"Hey, I'm just going to go ahead. But a fan made us matching bracelets and I promised I'd give it to you." Y/n smiles earning Lando's immediate attention.

"Thanks-are you crying?"

"I'm fine. Happy tears...I've just never got given a bracelet that's actually for me. Didn't realise it would feel so nice." Y/n laughs sniffling a little before she's yanked forward into a hug that she immediately returns.

"Baby, that's so cute. I'm done here anyway, let's go. It was nice meeting you guys. We'll be back tomorrow. Bring bracelets for y/n if you can!" Lando instructs making y/n tsk since she doesn't want people to be forced to make her bracelets.

After a short ride to the hotel, y/n and Lando get to their room where Lando places down his impressive collection of gifts from fans and ditches them in favour of following y/n into the bathroom since she always showers getting back from the paddock.

"You know, as far as announcements of relationships go. I'd say it was pretty well received." Lando comments making her look at him for a moment as she pulls off her clothes and moves to turn on the water.

"Yeah, I've received a lot of love."

"You have no reason not to. Everyone loves you...They'll probably be saying I've tainted your innocence soon."

"My innocence?" Y/n giggles making Lando smirk as he removes his own clothes. "Just because you have a cocky smirk, doesn't mean you're some big bad man causing trouble and ruining the reputations of everyone woman you involve yourself with."

"Not the reputation...but I've certainly ruined you for any other man...they'll never treat you as good as I do."

"Depends in which department you're talking about." Y/n teases making him raise his eyebrows since he knows she's just trying to wind him up on purpose for her own inevitable pleasure.

"Really, you want to play the game like that? Because I think we both know you'll regret it soon."

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm perfectly innocent and have no-ah Lando! You can't just-" And she's silenced by a kiss as she's pushed into the open style shower until her back hits the wall.

"I can."

Taglist: @namgification @hiireadstuff @jsjcue @geniusalpaca @itsjustkhaos @llando4norris @partyinpitlane @lpab @xoscar03

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creatingblackcharacters · 2 months

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Lesson 1: "White Man Painted Black"?

Okay, I recognize that this is a strong foot to step off on! But! If you learn nothing else from this series, if you decide for whatever reason to forsake me: this is the ONE perspective I'd like you to take away!

You may have heard this quote before, when Black fans deride a character design as 'a white man with the brown bucket tool'. On its face, it means exactly what was said. But specifically, what it means is that we recognize that whomever designed the character drew the way they normally draw for a 'default' character in their mind- default usually meaning White/Eurocentric features- and they added a shade of brown within the line art to make that character now 'Black'.

Now if you're feeling defensive, wait just a moment! This discomfort is not inherently a bad thing!

I'm going to use both a 'real world' example first, to show you what your Black fans and peers are seeing, and perhaps you will also understand our discomfort!

(if anyone was curious, my folder for this lesson is titled 'brad' lmao and you'll see why)

(I'll have y'all know that I actually worked very hard to make Blackface Brad look mildly presentable lmao I'm sorry, I'm wheezing, I can hardly breathe looking at him 🤣)

You see how, despite knowing where this was going, and using one of the darkest shades of brown in my Skin Tones arsenal, you still know that that's Brad Pitt? That nothing about his hair texture, his lips, his nose, or really anything other than the palette change... changed? And you can still see that?

It's incredibly hurtful to be told that that's supposed to be you. You know it's not, you know why it's not, but rather than hearing how it makes you feel unseen and what they could do to be better (since they wanted to draw a Black character!), the artist lashes out at you.

And as an artist, you might have worked VERY HARD to do this! That might be a real handsome guy you drew!! But... is he really Black? Did you walk into it with the intention, that you were drawing a Black Character, or did you draw a character that just happened to be Black? It seems like a silly thing, but it matters!

Okay. I just finished laughing over Brad. Now let's get into some more perspective changes:

Now, imagine you drew a character. You want to make her Black, so you change the hair and skin colors. All right! You have your Black character... right?

Changed ONE feature about her? (You should obviously change more than one feature, but let's just go with the simplified example.)

What if, instead of just changing her palette, we changed her:

Hair?

There isn't nearly enough time in the world, let alone in this little scribble and blurb, for me to describe the IMPORTANCE of Black hair in Black character design. There are so many ways to do curls, afros, braids, twists, locs, SO MANY HAIRSTYLES!! Get used to searching in the 3C-4C hair textures!!!! I plan on doing an entire lesson or two on hair alone, but suffice it to say, Hair Texture is thee BIGGEST giveaway that you 'painted a white person Black'- from cartoon styles to realistic! It reveals itself in your writing as well- just based on how your character takes care of their hair, how your describe the texture, how other people might perceive it... it lets me know just how much research was done. Because we can have straight hair! But again, that's a conversation for a whole 'nother lesson so- come back later 👀?

Lips?

I love our lips, I really do. There's a long history of shaming Black women in particular for the way our lips look. So when I see them done in all their glory, it makes me very happy. Two-toned lips vary in shade and intensity, so make sure you're using references if you want to be 'realistic', but it doesn't have to be that hard. Even a little subtle shift like this in the design/story description lets me know that a creator was thinking about me.

Nose?

One thing I've noticed ever since I starting drawing is that... people in a lot of mangas/manhwas barely have noses! I admit, out of all the features on the face, the nose isn't the most important. I think they should be, especially when you want to emphasize that your characters look different! People have different types of noses! I especially want to gear this towards those with a goal of drawing realistic portraits and the like- there, the nose is ANOTHER dead giveaway. There are Black people with aquiline and straight noses- we aren't a monolith- but is that why you drew it? Consider why you went for that nose specifically. That's part of the intent, in all this!

Now, you might be looking at me and going "Ice... this is just character design". To which my answer is: Yes! It is! It feels so basic, and yet if you ask your Black friends/peers how often they've come across this feeling of not being properly drawn/written, from fanart to professionally produced works, it's unfortunately common despite how simple of a concept it is.

I hope that you can walk away from my first lil lesson with new eyes. Remember, it's the thought that counts, but the action that delivers!

#creatingblackcharacters #black characters #black artists #black writers #black art #character design

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