#i did mean to rb that other post with this but.

[kijosakka]

alejandro,,, so fun <3 OKAY I HAVE MANY AN IDEA SO TO BEGIN WITH: panopticon

as established, panopticon is a Thing in this au mainly as a theme (but also a very very big influence in the creation of this in the first place).

panopticon itself refers to an institutional/prison design wherein a central guard tower and the construction thereof makes the prisons unable to tell if theyre being watched at any given moment; thus, self regulation.

^ dramaturgy, as an AU, focuses on noah acting ‘in accordance’ with the cameras in a genre-savvy adjacent manner; he self regulates. the ‘central guard tower’ to him is the audience.

to alejandro, however, the audience is not a variable. his competing does not factor in the audience and public the way noahs does; instead, his focus is shifted to his castmates.

to slot it in now, im talking about alejandros perception of the audience and the perception of him thereof (which, this and the above will be compounded upon with the stuff below further explaining alejandros facade/masking).

^ again, the audience just isnt a necessary variable to alejandro (at least, beyond *his family). playing in the manner he is, orchestrating and manipulating, you just cant fit in the time to placate the audience to make them love you. the more important thing is the opinions of his castmates, who are the real variables impacting his win.

and so, in short, alejandro is polarizing. people love a villain, but there is still the in-universe distinction of it being a reality show. it is real people; so, some part of TD’s audience will account that and denounce alejandro for being so comfortable in manipulating his peers so shamelessly.

[*his family, as seen in canon, seems to be something he is acutely aware of. he would be aware of how he presents himself, and would do so in a manner pleasing to them.

this is not to say hes unaware of the audience. he knows theyre there and speaks directly to them in the confessionals in a shifted manner (exaggerated/nitpicked for the purposes of this AU).

< where most characters speak about their competition to the audience, alejandro often speaks directly to the audience. tiniest distinction but i feel i should make it and emphasize it]

and now,, his actual facade; what it portrays, what it hides, and the reasons/motivations.

^ restating another post (ty ophe), alejandro has a mask of a person hiding antagonism. he acts like an idealist version of his actual person; kind, sensible, intelligent, considerate. athletic, helpful, goodhearted, compassionate, attractive to boot. taken to an extreme, holier-than-thou and patronizing. diminished, way overcompensatory, or maybe doormat-ish.

while this version of noah comes off as uncanny valley because no real person is so detached and lifeless, no real person is so perfect either. alejandro would trigger the same bells but to a much, much lesser degree. more like there were pieces of a puzzle missing rather than something distinctly wrong.

because alejandro seems like a person, he portrays depths and facets to himself (while all positive), and interacts with his castmates like how people interact with people.

it is, again, a the veil of an idealist person hiding antagonism. i don’t think alejandro is a cartoonishly antagonistic, unremorseful supervillain character (and hes not really portrayed as such in canon, but just to say), but he is absolutely not the perfection he portrays himself as.

now is a great time to add that alejandros mask heavily relates back to the expectations his family pushes on him; not only is it good socially (for the purposes of the competition) but theres probably a sense of validation there aswell (if shallow, because its still not an appreciation of the ‘real’ him).

^ and thats a Thing as well, the ‘real’ alejandro. flawed and imperfect, able to be irritable and snappy and meanspirited with arrogance hiding the cracks of overwhelming inferiority. as a person, that is, in intent for the game hes, well, an eel. conniving and slippery and manipulative and sly and vindictive and unapologetic.

and as for reasons,, staying in line with the burromuertos ‘high society’ position in this AU, maybe it was something like a way to prove himself; he works the social game and shows business promise because of it, and brings a hefty sum of money home to his family that he earned.

and his facade is an easy one, not only a way to show a sense of professionalism and keep the burromuerto name ‘untainted’ by blatantly unsavory behavior similar to someone like duncan, but a way to keep his castmates none the wiser while the steals the money from under them.

BUT within the au itself things umm do not go to plan as noah makes it his mission to unmask alejandro as just as fake as he himself is.

which brings about the topic of a very specific cast relationship: noah and alejandro

as,, yk,, the backbones of his entire au (ok its more like nervous systems. noah is central and alejandro is peripheral) i want to save a full digging into their relationship and developments for another post entirely (probably going episode by episode until pre london focusing mostly on alejandro, and then another post after i figure out the actual events of WT going through the changed canon)

but to just go through it very quickly; noah doesnt trust alejandro and sees through him. alejandro eventually catches wind of the fact that noah doesnt trust him, and i imagine it would trigger a wondering of how? spurred on by noahs whole ‘no substance’ thing.

and besides, nobody has anything on noah despite him being their castmate going on 3 years now. and now that he’s thinking about it, what does he himself really know about noah in the same way he knows things about the rest of the cast? that’s interesting. *

^ i imagine alejandro would be wary but not worried about noah knowing, simply because of the passive nature he’s read of the other. < poor alejandro. it is not nearly that easy.

[*interesting,,, i will cover that more on the actual post going ep by ep for their relationship. because i do have Thoughts]

#ramblimg <3 #i wrote this in a frenzy and hit post right before my melatonin kicked in #hope it isnt too incoherent but if it is then uhhhhhhhh #yeah. 👍 #alejandro is so fun and interedting actuslly #i did mean to rb that other post with this but. #hmmm #dramaturgyAU #total drama #td alejandro #character analysis #might alter the details of this a liiiitle bit but for rn this is ok

[zhongrin]

◆

— fin.

alrighty, i will be cuddling the shit out of a certain dragon after this but before that, a small bonus (read: silly doodles) because we all need therapy after all that (or at least i do) -

1:

2:

"i had a nightmare."

"but i just went to buy milk-"

/silly

3:

we both have separation anxiety now so that's that 👍🏻

#rin plays ebg #'ebg afterparty' event #ok for REAL this time things are going to return to normal lol #i hope the ebg event was enjoyable for you as it was for me hehe #i loved every second of it #altho i was in pain™️ at the same time hskfjskjdlsjdlsfj #thank you for sending all the asks and rbs and creating entire POSTS for this event #thank you for your patience and encouragements for my noob art🙈 #thank you for going along with my silly whims #thank you thank you thank you thank you <3 #i can't express how grateful i am to have such a supportive and amazing community and friends. it still feels so unreal to me #if you missed the event i'll post a little masterlist latr so you can go through all the post. i mean i doubt anyone would be interested bu #it's more for me myself to go back and reread the asks bc man. that was so much fun. the most fun i had in a while tbh #literally the whole time of this event i nearly neglected genshin (and work but we dont speak about that-) HAHAHAHAH #gimme a bit to do the theme changes and such!! <3 #i did not expect to get soo invested. i just wanted to make a mini au thingy for the ebg and.... and somehow..... this happened......... #i'll be reblogging some stuff from other people which are related the ebg too for the next few hours lol- #feel free to tag me if you want me to see anything you made!! #should i...... post the 'alternate ending' sketch....... HMMMMM...... it's so roughly drawn tho shdlfjskljdfk #rin selfships #zhongrin

[frosty-the-killer-doll]

you ever see someone reply to u with such a long take that reads everything u said in bad faith and also puts words in ur mouth and ??? im so confused

#i asked a blog i used to follow not to tag the aro posts they rb as aroace cuz the post wasnt just about aroacesit only said aromantics #right #like this is an issue in aro spaces guys like it'll be an aro post that mentions sexuality or lack thereof nowhere in it #and it'll still be rb'ed and tagged with aroace #bc the blogger had like. rb'ed aroallo specific posts and tagged them as aroallo so i didnt get why they were rb'ing??? aro posts as #aroace when the post i was talking abt did not. mention anything other than aromanticism #like if theyre just doing it for aro organization purposes they should have tagged the one they rb'ed w aroace as aroallo too right? #but they didnt so thats why i brought it up and i mentioned that they didnt tag it as aroallo #again: the post i was talking to them abt did not mention asexuality or allosexuality at all #and they??? got back to me by??? talking abt how aroaces are still aromantic??? #i n. i never said they werent? i said. not to tag aro posts with aroace if. it only mentions arospecs and not!!! sexuality anywhere #like i didnt. i never say not to tag it with just aro. i would have preferred it be just aro tbh as thats all that post was about #and then they said??? that me being like 'i'm not trying to be mean or anything' is. admitting that i'm being mean #??????????? #and. yknow how i said if they're tagging aroace for aro organization purposes they should be tagging aroallo too if theyre #just tagging any posts that mention aromantics with aroace #i think they were claiming that they did and my suggesting they do that was ?? an admission of acephobia?? or something #but they blocked me now so i cant even ask for clarification on anything so whatever i guess #anyway. dont assume aros are ace just bc theyre aro. same goes for aro posts~

[chewy-toyz]

🛸

#quick minivent but uh after yesterdays mess im now officially completely done with being nice about endos oopsies #not that im going out of my way to be mean!! ofc not!! but if any of them tries to follow/talk/rb imma not be as nice with my boundaries #yeah someones harrassing the rest of my pack because i tried to point out theres a good reason people dont like/feel safe around endogenics #not cool! even when i was polite they STILL treated us bad! its no wonder some of the other pack members dislike that group! #not just because they compared something dumdum like syscourse to actual bigotry! now theyre making up bs and stalking vent blogs! #i tried to give the benefit of the doubt and be amicable i really did! but them calling a packmember something gross ruined that....im done #anyway i better get back to being the shining star of positivity before all these bad vibes cramp my style! #(might delete later) #btw im rblocking this post because i get a bad feeling theyre stalking me too and might try to start more problems if they can rb #and no blocking them wont stop them since we have reason to suspect theyre using an alt account to stalk our blogs

[caruliaa]

yes offense actually but like "uuhmm this trans headcanon doesnt make SENSE though" has always been one of just. the most inane takes in fandom ever like. assuming the person making it is someone whos otherwise an ally to trans people/not transphobic (just because with people who are transphobic that an issue thats obviously much bigger than just fandom stuff) whyy !! do you give a shit !!! like why !!! like bla bla i understand if you dont think the idea of that character being trans makes sense or you think something is canon contradicts it or you dont think its in character whatever it is you dont have to hc them as trans if you dont see them as trans you can even talk about how you think theyre cis if you want but like. its literally not hard to just not treat people who do have those trans headcanons as if theyre wrong or that their interpretation of the character is stupid/something to be mocked or act as though your superior for not reading them that way like. even if that doesnt come from a place of transphobia you will inevitably read that way to some people and regardless like. who gives a shit if someone is seeing themselves within a character/reading that character the way they want to esp in regards to a group of people with such a pitiful lack of positive representation as trans people. like get over yourself

#^^^^^ what my last post was about. i told u it wld b very obvious tht these ppl were in the wrong #(and i wonder why i was afraid to have any opinion on this show around these mutual in laws. jfc) #anyway like. please read this and like. consider it esp if you know who im talking about bc i feel like they received very little pushback #for acting that way and like. im not saying go give them that pushback do whatever u want im j saying pls consider tht that attitude #is wrong and like. You Should Not Mock Trans Headcanons as basic as that feels to say #sorry if im being like. mean or harsh or whatever tihs is just something i see as so like. fucked like why r acting that way !!! #abt trans ppl seeing themselves in characters they like !!! bc a lot of the time thats the 'reason' behind these trans hcs !!!l #i feel like my mutuals who arent from [REDACTED] fandom r gonna see this and b like what kind of ppl did u have to deal w and yk what #if i keep thinking about it ill start being mad at someone other than them who i really dont want to b mad at abt this again so lets move o #anyway this post is okay to rb btw its not just meant to b abt the ppl im kinda vauging #bc ik this is a phenomena in many fandoms and its just stupid. and downright cruel once it reaches mocking ppl #so feel free to ignore me nd j rb this and go of about ppl being stupid in whatever fandom ur in in the tags #let of some steam god knows i have plenty to let of thinking abt tihs phenomena. anyway time to be normal hopefully. #flappy rambles

[lunar-fey]

💕 What's your favorite thing about FFVII or surrounding games?

i think cloud is so funny. i really need to play ffvii fully one of these days (perhaps the remake when its done) and i'm not entirely sure the pace or extent to which they reveal this in main game, but going into crisis core with my only knowledge of cloud being "he's the really special cool protagonist guy who has like a soul bond with sephiroth and Has To Defeat Him as like a metaphor for personal demons or like the horrors of what capitalism can create or something" and then finding out he's literally just some guy with every mental illness ever. instantly he became one of my favorite protagonists of anything ever. they really did that! AND he's a drug addict <3

special interest asks

#the fey answers #redsixwing #i mean not willingly right? but addiction is a topic that is near and dear to me #i lived in what many call the heroin capital of the us. at least here idk if other people call us that #but he's just some mentally ill military guy AND hes addicted to drugs? he could be my nextdoor neighbor #also special shoutout to whatever the FUCK was going on with dirge of cerberus they didn't need #to make vincent valentine (goth guy of all time + gender of all time) also be the wife guy of all time. but they did. and it fucks severely #thank you for giving me an excuse to ramble i need to get social interaction in to my brain :) #also you didn't ask this one but i need to say it now in case no one does. my favorite line ff7 adjacent is that edgy ass omega poem thing #i used to have it memorized and wrote it at the bottom of notebook pages and stuff like in late middle early high school #sorry if i went on too much. i WILL do it again :) #doc in particular was very formative for me and no one ever talks about it #which is fair it was not enjoyable gameplay wise #but also i have never enjoyed a shooter #ALSO if you read this far: i noticed you didn't rb the post idk if its bc you aren't autistic or don't want to answer asks #but exchanges are important i suppose i can't send you a thing from this meme but if you want to just send me hcs/facts/whatever #feel free :)

[arcadequeerz]

why so many people rb that post,?

#didn't know i could edit a post n turn off rbs but i did it on that Post #it was a tag meme someone tagged me on.....friends i tagged on it were only supposed 2 rb it.... #why were so many other people rbing it d:[ #i mean whatever i guess bu No More rbs i do nt need another huge ass post filling my activity page constantly

[iinmysights]

SORRY ABO UR YOUR NOTES LMFAOOOO (right blog this time)

NFGPGJFBFN IT’S FINE I UNDERSTAND THE GATOR LOVE

#Ravage.png #bittters #moondust #when u sent the og ask i was like ‘??? wrong blog??? did u mean to apologize to the op and not me???’ IM SO STUPID LMAOOOO #honestly if it wasn’t risking other mutuals asking in a very concerned voice if i’m ok i’d do the same with like tigers n snow leopards n #cheetahs. that happened last time i rb’d a post 6 times about wishing prev a good nights sleep and i was so embarrassed i was like i can #never mass rb ever again i’ll be put on a tumblr public watchlist or something

[casketears]

in every single dnd game ive watched there’s always been at least one person that annoys me. this is, of course, to keep me well fed in other ways by giving me something to complain about to friends

#critical role #dimension 20 #well not so much the latter when it’s the main gang. but for their one shots… unfailing! #rn it’s a court of fey & flowers and every time rue is having a moment i sigh #it’s not as bad as zerxus from calamity by any means but good god… someone get this fool outta my sight… or at least explain to me what im #looking at #when did they have the time to fall for kp. why is him telling them to get out of the way so they don’t ruin his trap the source of their #primary conflict. why the fuck were they an owlbear all this time in private #at least with zerxus the character concept was fucking fun and resulted in some great scenes with asmodeus #that player enraged me to the point of blind fury in other regards but like. at least. at fucking least! i got the character #here the player is whatever to me but this character and whatever direction they’re going in is making me sigh #wuvvy is my saving grace shes the world to me #second favorite after the cousins. third after anyone in the goblin court #if anyone somehow sees this post and gets annoyed or smth i beg you this: instead of being mad at my opinions. rb & tell me who annoys you #op-txt

[nobody-knose--archive]

god what did i do

#tis i #admittedly unspecific dialogue #is it evil fonts? i mean it must be evil fonts right #did somebody influential rb it? like i cannot think of a single other post i've made recently that would warrant this #maybe i queued something and forgot about it. who the fuck knows

[koushirouizumi]

Me: I can't believe I spent *8+ years since Tri was ANNOUNCED* listening to endless ranting about the "canon" Adventure{s franchise}-02 timeline only for Toei to {+re}reveal an official timeline {including J.P.N side} in a DIGINAVI STREAM and you all don't say ANYTHING

#koushirouizumi posts #koushirouizumi advs #koushirouizumi digiadvs #koushirouizumi 02 #koushirouizumi chatter #(i MEAN) #(AFTER ALL THAT) #(?????) #(CRICKETS????) #(OK Anyway I'm making this react post more for my other blog{s} and thats why this is no rb for now) #(Looks like I didn't miss much anyway lmao) #(I do want to recompile this ''new'' {not really but} info later I'm just Tired) #({My Hopes Arent High This Lasts Post The Beginning release DESPITE A Official Timeline Now Existing But Not Saying Anything Else}) #(EDIT Wait how did 'canon' typo wELL Anyway)

[zoekrystall]

Watching su further and lapis and peridot are on screen again and I am glad I'm not the only one but my ex bff/qpp too that can't see both anymore without thinking of us (why still messaging bc I kinda became a covid info messenger for irl people)

Also I checked when that cosplay stuff was planned and 2016 jfc. That connection is there since so long oof. But also in gen su is really around since a good while huh sometimes still feels like yesterday.

#a wild lux appears #sometimes unsure if I should cut the ex bc I still think hm maybe he changed but then I remember #I am. Way too nice I give so many chances since over a decade we will not! focus! on him anymore! #There are so many other people out there that won't be a bitch abt my interests I don't need him #anyways su slaps but OTL #watching it more I see why he likes lapis so much. genuinely affectionately meaning it. #While me just hehe aliens and technology >:3 #vibe w her deeper stuff too. adore how she talks #Anyways I can't focus on three things at once so end it here #I never finished watching it back when it still aired.. glad watching it w others even if I get easily overwhelmed #Also yes still occupied w personal stuff rb will continue once I'm done #Edit I wrote this hours ago why did it just post now. why does this happen so often

[annarubys]

i forgot how much fun it is to be on the internet when an evil cunt dies the last time i went this crazy on here besides november 5th was for fidel all the way back in 2016 i missed this

#rbs off for this one so as not to antagonize people who willfully don’t read up about cuba but continue to keep fidel’s name in their mouths #but JUST IN CASE someone finds this through my other posts going around. #i am not in any way suggesting that what the castros did was worse than what the british monarchy has done #i mean. even just based on a comparative scale the monarchy is much much worse #i am simply alluding to the fact that him dying was fun for me because he directly caused harm to my family #anyway fidel was an ugly skank bitch and i’m allowed to be happy he’s dead. die mad about it <3 #also if raul wants to kick it sometime in the next couple days 👀 #a.txt

[koheletgirl]

you liked my post... does that mean you know what im talking about?? 🤦🏽‍♂️

unless there was another thing then yes. i thought it was cool tho

#was it like a wrong blog type of situation or did you rb it by accident #anyway i was a little confused bc that's not whay you usually post but other than that. no worries #also if you didnt mean for me to post this lmk #ask #mickey tag #oh also btw if you prefer i change the tag then also lmk.

[ikigaisvt]

quiet love

in which your boyfriend vernon likes showing his love for you in a quiet way.

pairing: vernon x f!reader words count: 2k content: childhood bestfriends to lovers, fluff, domestic warnings: so soft but very corny, contains pretty common prompts imo, vernon's love language is not words of affirmation lol, implied that kids are mean to vernon, mention of driving, drinking, loss and exes, reader is sick at one point (the flu), a lot of food/eating talk, they are so healthy youre gonna throw up, soooo much physical affection they make me SICK (holding hands, kissing, playing with each other's hairs, hugging etc), babe/baby petnames note: omg im alive?!?!? hiii!! it's been so long since i posted a fic! this one is a birthday gift for the loml @vcrnons <3 happy birthday, u know it all already but don't forget i love u sm!!! i hope you enjoy this childhoodbff!vernon (it's ur thing) who's very very in love but very very shy to say it. hope anyone else who sees this fic enjoy too! don't forget to interact with this if u liked it, rbs are very very very appreciated! thank u<3 (also this was proofread by tired me so if there is any mistakes, ignore it pls thanks <3)

Vernon has always been a man of a few words; when you first met him in elementary school, he was the quiet boy and nothing could get him to speak apart from spinning tops and his favorite cartoons. Still, you decided to befriend that calm boy – at the time, people used to think you were only being nice but deep down you knew: you were making a friend for life.

Going through all of the different steps of childhood and teenage hood with Vernon by your side was an experience – you raised hell together, driving your parents crazy. But it was also having a best friend to experience each other’s every first times: first partners, first time driving, first time getting drunk but also first breakup, first bad haircut and first loss. You have seen each other through everything. No, you have watched over each other through everything; wherever you were, Vernon was standing two steps back, making sure you were always safe. And wherever he was, you were always standing two steps back, making sure he was always loved.

And that’s how you both fell in love. It was slow and secure; falling in love with Vernon was never complicated or painful. It was how things dropped into place and none of you ever denied it; at the time you knew you were meant to be – maybe you always did. And so, you let yourself fall into each other’s arms, a safe place, full of quiet love.

You were 24 years old when Vernon first wanted to tell you he loved you; yet, he didn’t have the courage to fess up. Having spent his whole life showing his love through actions, he had a hard time saying it out loud. After a nice date to the cinema and the restaurant, he drove you back home, small talk and look exchanged during the trip. As soon as he puts the car in park, he reaches out to hold your hand, his thumb drawing circles.

“Had a nice time tonight?” he asks.

“Of course I did,” you answer, a blush creeping on your cheeks, “You know I always do with you,” you add, reaching out to cup his cheek.

“You need to go, you have an early day tomorrow,” he tells you, kissing your palm.

“Yeah, I’m going,” you say as you reach down for your bag and open the door, “Let me know when you’re home, okay?”

“Of course,” he says as he holds your face between his hand, “You do the same,” he adds against your lips before kissing you softly.

“It’s literally two steps away, I’m already home,” you chuckle as you exit the car.

“Won’t leave until I get the text, babe,” he smiles as he leans over the center console to look at you.

You roll your eyes sarcastically at him but still, your lips go up into a smile as your cheeks reddens from the way he so apologetically loves and cares for you. This boy would do anything to make sure you see how much he adores you. So, you wave him goodbye and it’s only when you close your front door and his phone buzzes with an i’m home :) drive safe, text me xx that you hear him drive off.

The second time he almost confessed to loving you was when you were 25. You had just gotten over an awful flu that got you bed ridden for days, unable to go on with your schedule as you normally would. You were sleeping the sickness off for hours on end, only waking up when Vernon knocked on your door to check up on you. Honestly, he knew it was only the flu, but he was so scared for you; in his eyes, you always appeared as the strongest women on earth so seeing you so weak and tired pulled at his heartstrings. He thought about confessing his undying love as you were blowing your nose – maybe it will magically heal her, he thought one night. But deep down he knew you needed someone to help you out physically and so, he did. He had taken such good care of you; he kept your home clean, did the laundry and helped you out to the shower if needed. He had thought about doing the cooking but he knew his poor skills wouldn’t get you to eat at all. So, even if you couldn’t finish your plates, he had ordered your favorite meals all week, even if he didn’t really like some of those.

It's been a few days since you last had a fever, so even if you were still blowing your nose and coughing a little bit, you could still get out of bed and hang out with Vernon. You two decided to have an at-home date, ordering your favorite meals and watching the show you recently started together. Since you were less sick you could finally finish your plate and eat more than usual; even after finishing your food, your stomach was still grumbling.

“I’m still hungry,” you whisper to yourself, not thinking Vernon would hear you.

“Yeah?” he asks, still looking at the TV as he holds a spoon full of food in the air, “Want a bite?” he says as he looks at you.

“Is that okay?” you ask, not wanting to take away his favorite food. Even when you were sick, you saw how Vernon only ordered your favorite foods – he deserved to have every bite of his favorite dish.

“Of course it is!” he smiles at you, extending his spoon in front of you, “You like it?” he asks, waiting for your nods of approval.

You nod enthusiastically, giving him a thumbs up with a smile, “That’s so good!” you exclaim before Vernon reaches for your plate. You look at him, wondering what he is up to before you see him fill your empty plate with more than half of his meal, “No, no, no,” you say, trying to reach for it as Vernon puts it out of reach from you.

“You need to eat, babe,” he says as he puts the dish on your lap, “Go on,” he smiles, patting your head before turning his attention back to his almost finished meal and the tv.

You smile down, cheeks red from your boyfriend’s attention. You notice how he gave you the tastier part of his dish – meat, veggies and a lot of gravy with a good amount of rice – and he kept most of the rice and only a piece of meat for himself. You start to eat happily, re-adjusting your position on the sofa to be closer to him. It might have been a year and a half since you started dating with no I love you’s said, but you know this is how he shows he loves you. And that is enough for you – it will always be.

It's now been two years since you started dating Vernon; you’re 26 years old, living with your boyfriend, your two cats and waking up every day with the love of your life next to you. Life is beautiful and you could not ask for more. To celebrate your anniversary with Vernon, you planned a trip to your hometown - only a 1 hour-drive from home – so you can have your date where you first kissed: at the cinema. If someone told Vernon he would one day ignore a movie to give his attention to a human being, he would have laughed at their face. But here he is. Countless of movies and shows watched with you right there, next to him, and yet you always steal his gaze away from the screen. You are just so beautiful, he thinks to himself. And when he sees you, laughing at a stupid joke from a character, he smiles with you. Not because the joke is funny, no, but because he cannot watch you without his heart filling up and his feelings pouring out onto his lips. He knew since he woke up that day, on your 2 years anniversary, that he would say it. It had been on the tip of his tongue since the first time he saw you in elementary school, smiling at everyone and saving bugs, but he always held it back. He thought it would be too soon, too fast, too much – but how can love ever be those things? he realized recently. He had said I love you a thousand times already through his actions, he had said he loved you out loud to his friends, his family, his cats. He thought now was the time you should hear it. So, all day, his head was in the clouds, thinking how to bring this up, how to say I’m in love with you to his soulmate. It happens when you pull him into your apartment at 1 am, your anniversary already over. You both get rid of your shoes, the tiredness of the day finally falling on your shoulders, before you pull him into you for a hug. Your arms stay at his waist, his heart going thump, thump, thump against yours as his cheek rest on the crown of your head.

“Gonna let you go to sleep,” you mumble against his shirt before letting him go, “I’m gonna shower.”

“Hey- babe,” he says softly to get your attention, his hand wrapping around your wrist, “need to tell you something,” he tells you as you’re pulled back against his chest, hands on his front as one of his rest on your waist, the other one covering your cheek.

“Everything’s okay?” you ask, rubbing circle on the fabric of his shirt.

“Yeah, everything’s good,” he whispers, his eyes going down to look at your lips and up again, “You’re pretty,” he speaks under his breath, a blush making its way on your cheeks – and his.

“Thank you,” you smile as you reach for his neck, pulling him down for a kiss, “You’re not so bad yourself,” you whisper against his lips.

He holds onto your cheeks, your foreheads resting against each other, “I love you,” he murmurs so low you think you made it up but as you open your eyes and see tears in his own, you know this is nothing but real life.

“Oh,” you gasp softly, taken aback, “I love you too,” you say, smiling up at the love of your life.

“I know this was long overdue and I’m sorry it took me so long-“ he starts to babble, uneasiness bubbling in his chest before you cut him off with a kiss.

“It’s okay,” you whisper, playing with the hair at his nape, “To me, you’ve said it a thousand times,” you reassure him as he blushes, chuckling softly at how you always find the right words for him, “But a thousand more wouldn’t hurt,” you tease slightly, making him snort.

“I love you,” he repeats, his arms wrapping around your shoulders as yours find a resting place at his waist, rubbing his back over his shirt.

“Again,” you say with a smile in your voice before kissing his chest in an I love you too.

“I love you,” he says against your hair, his hands making its way under the straps of your dress.

“Again,” you ask him, never getting enough of these words flowing out of his lips.

“I love you,” he whispers against the shell of your ear, leaving a kiss behind, “so much.”

“I’ll never get tired of hearing this,” you whisper, your hands meeting the end of his shirt, “I love you,” you say as you touch his bare back.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” he says like a mantra, “I’d unlearn any other words so all you could hear is my love for you,” he whispers, his eyes meeting yours, before your lips collide – just like your worlds did so many years ago.

You’ve always found reassurance in this quiet love you and Vernon were giving each other – but maybe you liked your love being a little louder sometimes.

thank u for reading! hope you enjoyed hehe <3

#sammy's works #j<3 #seventeen 💌 #seventeen scenarios #seventeen x reader #seventeen imagines #seventeen reactions #seventeen fluff #svt scenarios #svt x reader #svt imagines #svt reactions #svt fluff #vernon scenarios #vernon x reader #vernon imagines #vernon fluff

[nonstoplover]

sleep without you ~ charles leclerc (cl16)

my masterlist | my f1 masterlist

pairing: charles leclerc x fem!reader

song inspiration: sleep without you ~ brett young

summary: charles struggles to function properly without her by his side, or a story of a night without his girlfriend.

words: 2.1K

warnings: nothing, just fluff and a slightly clingy charles baby <3

a/n: idk why but this song honestly screams charles to me whenever i hear it, so i just had to make it happen. also this was supposed to be posted on my one year f1-aversary as celebration (well technically it should be more if counting my childhood f1 years but anyway), but i was so caught up in another wip that i couldn't do it. so happy anniversary to me and f1 (two weeks late) with this lil ficlet <3 thankful for all that f1 gave me.

big thanks to the amazing lovely silverstonesainz for helping me make this better and to the equally awesome monzabee for making me much less anxious with her words. love you sm queens!!

please, don't be a ghost reader, leave a comment or rb!

Charles spends a whole afternoon trying to convince her to have a night out with her friends. Just because they're in a relationship doesn't mean they can't have fun without the other as well from time to time. There are still a couple of weeks left of winter break, plenty of opportunity to spend time just the two of them before the season starts again. So the usual point of view, the usual reasoning doesn't stand a chance – that they should spend as much time together as they can, before he's back to travelling all around the world.

"Go to a club, grab some drinks, dance and laugh the night away", he tells her. The usual bestie coffee dates or walks in the park that she usually raises as argument are not the same as a night out, and she hasn't done that for so long now. Definitely not since he's been back home, and he knows just how much she enjoys dancing her heart out.

(y/n) agrees after a short while, accepting his reasons, knowing full well that he's right, and after a few phone calls she starts getting ready, soon walking out the front door, dressed all pretty and dolled up.

Doesn't take long before Charles realises what he's done. A feeling tingles in his chest, one he recognises swiftly. He's miserable. Solely because she's not there by his side, as he makes dinner, eats it – all by himself –, before settling on the couch to occupy himself with a movie. It doesn't matter though, he doesn't pay any attention to it. He doesn't even know what's going on, he hasn't heard a single line, too busy thinking about her.

When the credits start to roll, he switches the TV off with a surprised look in his eyes – how did it already end? He doesn't even remember the first scene ending. Then he moves into the bathroom to do his night routine, from taking a shower to putting on some skincare products, all the while wondering how long she will be out for? Will she come home soon? Hope tingles in his chest that the answer to his question is yes.

Having finished with everything, Charles lies down in bed, trying to read a book, then scrolling on social media, doing anything to keep his mind from straying over and over again back to her. He knows this is stupid, he was the one telling her to go out, why is he like this now? Lying awake on his side of the bed, the fingers on his right hand tracing figures onto the sheet where her body usually rests.

This is pathetic, Charles thinks. He never thought he would be like this, so miserable and impatient just because she's not at home, with him. He's tossing around, unable to find a comfortable position for himself – it seems like he forgot how to sleep without her. No matter how many times he's had to do just that, in hotel rooms all around the world. The past few weeks erased all those nights from his mind.

The delicious scent of her shampoo fills his lungs when his face lands just a bit too close to her pillow, and all of a sudden it's like he's burying his nose in her hair. It only makes him miss her more. Sleeping is impossible, he knows it now. He's only daydreaming, not actually dreaming, of her arriving home and being in his arms again.

Charles imagines the way she dances in the middle of the floor, her hands in the air, shouting the lyrics loudly to the song currently playing – most probably something she knows and loves –, and he can't help but smile fondly. Just the thought of her having fun is enough to make him happier, even in his misery.

He pictures a scene where a random guy tries to get too close to her, as it has happened so many times, whenever he leaves her alone for a few minutes at any club they've been to. It doesn't matter where they are, doesn't matter if they spent the night so far together, all over each other, someone comes into the picture immediately when he leaves, either to grab a drink for the two of them, or to go to the restrooms.

It's not like he doesn't understand those guys. She's simply gorgeous, and radiates such a vibrant aura that everyone is drawn to her. He honestly just finds it funny at this point. Nothing makes these men back off more effectively than her. Oh, the amount of times he bit back laughter watching the scene unfold from a distance. Seeing men crumble and disappear looking all ashamed, what a sight that is. And he doesn't have to do anything.

He wonders how many times she's had to fight off guys so far tonight, with him not even in the club, and he finds he can't wait to hear all her stories of the newest victims. Pierre never understood why Charles found it so amusing, he didn't seem to get it. The trust they have in each other. Knowing that it's him she'll come home to at the end of the night is enough to make him only feel entertained by each instance, and not irritated at the slightest bit.

But thinking about (y/n) fighting off men is only good enough entertainment for a limited amount of time, and soon the smile fades back into a miserable pout on his lips, as his thoughts turn back into ones of impatience, trying to make time move faster with short little prayers falling as mumbles from his lips.

With a sigh, he eventually sits up, looking around to find something he can do. At last he decides on grabbing a drink himself, maybe it will help stop the flow of thoughts racing in his head. A little welcomed dullness.

He takes a seat at the kitchen table, sipping on the liquid in his glass, enjoying the feeling of the light alcohol gently burning his throat on the way down, numbing his tongue along the way. His fingers stay restless, now drumming on the wooden surface. A few minutes later he realises they play a song, soundless except the soft thud of his fingertips with the occasional louder tap or little scratch of his nails when a finger finds a different angle to hit the table with.

A melody appears in his mind as he watches his fingers move, imagining how it would sound if it was his piano instead of the kitchen table. He would go sit at the beautiful, white instrument and try it, but he doesn't want to be so loud at such a late hour. And anyway, he's way too comfortable sitting where he is to stand up and go somewhere else.

He looks out the window, catching sight of the moon – almost full, just a tiny bit of it missing, and Charles examines the craters that are visible to the naked eye, though only as spots of a darker shade on the round shape.

Maybe he'll name this new musical piece that's being born in his head right now after her – well, if he ever finishes it. He'll keep the usual format, three letters of a city name and a date, only this time putting the time and place of when they first met. Or should it be the time and place of when he first asked her out? Or their first date? Or when she agreed to move in with him? God, there are way too many options to choose from. He decides to put this problem aside for now, he's not in a rush to name a song not even written yet.

As the clock on the oven changes all four numbers to display 2am, the action rouses his attention and makes him tear his eyes away from the moon and look at the numbers instead.

He would've never ever thought that he'd be like this.

Raising his glass he notices that there's only a small sip left in it, which he downs in a short moment. His tongue darts out to gather all the minuscule drops that might rest on his lips still, not wanting to waste even that much of the delicious drink. Then he stands up, placing the glass down into the sink, making a mental note to clean it in the morning before (y/n) wakes up.

Just as he ponders putting another movie on, maybe only as background noise if nothing else, his phone buzzes in the pocket of his pants. Taking his time, Charles pulls the device out, expecting nothing more than a useless notification from a social media app he shouldn't spend so much time on anyway.

Instead what he finds is a text. From her.

in a cab, be home soon &lt;3

Charles lets out a relieved sigh, his lips involuntarily curving into a smile, one that you could almost call giddy. It's not just the thought that she's going to be here soon, but the fact that she remembered to text him to let him know. He's in her mind, just like she's in his, even though she's been out with friends, having fun, drinking, while he's only been at home, all alone with his misery.

Now he can move back to bed happily, knowing that shortly she will join him.

It truly doesn't take long until Charles hears the front door creak as it opens, then the familiar jingle of her keys hitting the drawer in the hall, and his heart flutters with happiness. Finally. The high heels she chose to wear hit the floor with a soft thud as she presumably removes them, and the growing anticipation in his body seems to eat him whole.

Her steps grow louder and louder as she moves closer to the bedroom, and time slows for Charles. He watches in slow motion as she appears in the doorframe, being propped up on his elbows to have a better view, a lazy smile curling onto his face, and his eyes lidded with drowsiness.

"You're still awake?" (y/n) giggles, pausing in her steps for a second as her eyes take in the view he provides lying there. His lack of reply to her text made her think he's already fallen asleep.

"Of course," he mumbles. "Come to bed."

His voice is whiny and he behaves like an actual child, he knows, but he can't help it. He wants to sleep, and he wants to sleep beside her, feeling her warmth against his skin. That's the only way he can.

"Let me get changed first," she starts towards the closet, when a grunt of pure displeasure sounds from him along with the thump of his back as he falls into a lying position once more, making her glance back at her boyfriend. "What, can't wait a single minute?"

"No," he protests, pouting . "I've been waiting for hours."

His accent comes forth stronger when he's sleepy, and she can't help but smile adoringly upon hearing it. He's just so cute.

"Okay, fine, you'll get one kiss," she gives in. Charles resembles a lost puppy and she's sure he knows that's her weakness. She can't ever say no to anything when he looks like that.

So that's how she finds herself crawling into bed, trying to get as close as possible to the boy without causing damage to her dress. He grins, as much as his tired facial muscles allow, awaiting her lips touching his own. His pout becomes even more apparent, right until the moment he finally gets what he wants. His goodnight kiss. It's soft, slow and just so full of love it makes both their hearts flutter.

Then she caresses his cheek gently, whispering a barely audible good night, sleep tight to him, before moving back off the bed to disappear in the closet, leaving Charles to think about how he'd happily convince her again of going out if it means she'll come home to him, looking so radiant, properly buzzing with energy, eyes shining, hair messy but still looking so breathtaking. It's obvious how much it meant to her that she had this night out. He made her happy with telling her to go out with her friends, and he didn't regret it, despite all the miserable hours.

By the time she finishes her night routine and walks back into the bedroom once more, he's fast asleep, quiet snores filling the silence of the room. She bites into her bottom lip to keep in the giggle threatening to burst out, and with a heart full of adoration and a head slightly dizzy from the drinks she's had, she gets in bed beside him, snuggling up close to him, revelling in the feeling of his arms instinctively finding their way around her body even when he's sleeping.

He truly only waited for her to come home and give him a goodnight kiss to finally be able to fall asleep.

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