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poisonlove · 2 months

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Study Session | c.s

pairing: Cairo Sweet X fem reader

Summary: Y/n is terrible in literature and needs a hand

Words: 11.58 k

"Miss Y/S, could you come here for a moment, please?" Mr. Miller asks kindly.

I blink in surprise and walk towards the lectern, my feet almost stumbling on the wooden floorboards. I blush with embarrassment, and out of the corner of my eye, I see Cairo looking towards us with seriousness, organizing her belongings.

I swallow nervously and bite my lower lip, my eyes first glancing at Cairo and then at Professor Miller.

Now is not the time to think about your one-sided crush, y/n I mentally scold myself.

I force a smile and look at the professor with genuine curiosity. "Do you need something, sir?" I say, smiling happily, trying to hide my nervousness.

"I'm not sure how to put this..." Professor Miller sighs and takes off his glasses, looking up to meet our eyes. My smile falters seeing the concern and distress behind his eyes. Professor Miller sighs and takes the assignment I had done last week in his hands.

"It's... It's a mediocre work," he says hesitantly, almost embarrassed.

"To be honest... If you don't do something that impresses me, Miss, you'll fail my class," he says with a tone of voice almost guilty.

My palms sweat, and I try to remain calm. I knew I was really bad at literature, but I didn't expect to fail the year altogether. But what can I say? No matter how hard I try, I can't adequately transcribe what I think onto paper.

"I'm sorry," I whisper reluctantly, deeply ashamed of myself.

Professor Miller gives me a gentle smile, tilting his head slightly as he places a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"You have great potential," he states with conviction, trying to instill confidence in me. "But you simply have a few more difficulties," he concludes with a compassionate tone, seeking my gaze empathetically.

I stare into his eyes, noticing the intention of conveying moral support.

"Miss Sweet," Professor Miller calls Cairo's attention, making her focus on him.

"Yes, Professor Miller?" she responds with a radiant smile, her eyes shining for... some strange reason.

"Could you help Y/N?" the professor asks, looking at me sideways.

His request makes me feel slightly offended for not having a say, but at the same time, it puts me in a state of anxiety because I would have to work with the girl I've always liked.

Cairo's eyes focus on my figure with curiosity, making me feel nervous and embarrassed by her enchanting beauty. A small smile spreads across her lips before she looks at the literature professor.

Brown eyes looking at Mr. Miller.

"Alright," Cairo responds with a shy smile, which also makes the professor smile.

I raise an eyebrow in confusion, observing this strange scene with curiosity and a hint of suspicion.

Cairo's smile is kind but enigmatic, as if hiding something behind that seemingly calm façade. I wonder what it could be, but I decide not to delve too deeply into it at that moment.

Professor Miller seems pleased with her acceptance and nods with a pleased expression. "Great! I'm sure you'll make an exceptional team," he comments enthusiastically, encouraging us to work together towards our common goal.

"Cairo," says the professor, maintaining a dazzling smile, "if you succeed in the task, you'll earn an extra credit," he announces proudly, turning his gaze towards his student with a mixture of hope and trust.

Cairo smiles weakly, visibly embarrassed by the attention she's received.

"Well then," I intervene timidly, trying to dissipate the strange tension that has arisen, "shall we?" I add, looking at the girl I've always had a secret crush on with flushed cheeks.

Despite my shyness and the nervousness that overwhelms me, I strive to maintain a calm and decisive tone, hoping to convey confidence both to myself and to Cairo as we prepare to face this new challenge together.

(...)

"So... What do you think?" I say nervously, my hands fidgeting with the threads of my jeans.

I roll a thread around my finger and pull it, tossing it into the grass.

Cairo's eyes fixate on my paper attentively, her pupils moving along my essay with seriousness. The brunette lowers the sheet and looks at me carefully.

"Well?" I say, feeling my stomach tied up with nerves. "Hmm..." She starts hesitantly, tilting her head and leaning against the tree behind her.

The day was perfect, and we had mutually agreed to spend it outdoors doing literature. The rays filtering through the branches highlight Cairo's face, making her eyes appear light brown

She was... Beautiful.

"Is it okay?" She says timidly.

Cairo hands me back the paper, and I sigh in frustration. I could sense that something was missing.

"Come on... Tell me the truth," I say, looking at Cairo curiously. The brunette bites her lower lip and adjusts her posture.

"So... It's not bad, but..." she starts and bites her lower lip, thoughtful. "It lacks emotion... I don't see the passion... I don't perceive anything," she confesses, and I pout.

Darn it... I wanted the truth, but it was entirely heavy

"I knew I shouldn't have spoken," she quickly says, quickly moving her hand, noticing my frown on her lips. "It's perfect," she smiles broadly, and my eyes soften seeing how sweet and cute she was with that expression on her face.

The dimple was adorable, and her eyes sparkled when she talked about something related to writing.

"No... I asked you to be honest, and you were," I say quickly, smiling.

Her eyes look at me with curiosity, and I try to maintain eye contact as much as possible. "Okay..." Cairo murmurs before giving in to this staring contest, taking her notebook.

"I... " I start hesitantly, "have an old piece that I'd like you to read," I say timidly.

I was aware of the risk that she would realize it was about her, but despite that, I thought it was my best work. After all, I wrote it with all the love I feel for her.

"Oh... I'd be happy to," she says sincerely, her pearly whites showing her beautiful smile. Cairo's eyes light up at the mention of reading something, and she quickly reaches her hand towards me.

Shyly, I grab my backpack and search for my work, immediately noticing that it was sandwiched between two notebooks. My cheeks were red from embarrassment for having something so special to me crumpled and carelessly thrown in my backpack.

Cairo takes it without making any comment on its sorry state and begins to read it.

"In the twilight of our intertwined destinies..." The brunette had a focused expression, her voice soft and enveloping.

I wait with trepidation, observing every nuance of her expressions

"she emerges like an elusive shadow, a siren of my lost dreams, with chestnut locks like the earth." Cairo sighs "Her eyes, deep as the abyss of the soul, reflect falling stars and unfathomable secrets, like dark water on a moonless night, where the lost traveler wanders." Cairo suddenly stops, lips still suspended on the sentence.

Her gaze drifts amidst the words as a wave of emotion envelops her voice.

I remain silent, captivated by her interpretation.

The brunette continues, her voice now softer, almost whispered. "Her smile, a fleeting glimpse of light, a glimmer of hope in the darkness, yet also an echo of sadness in the relentless passage of time, a memory of what could have been."

Cairo voice resonates with the melody of the words, conveying every nuance of emotion contained within the text.

I was completely captivated by her facial expressions.

"Yet, amid the folds of uncertain destiny, remains a lost innocence and an unspoken love, an incomplete harmony, an unexpressed desire, like a melody interrupted in the night wind."

"In her breath dance promises of another life, where perhaps our hearts will meet, in the stillness of a world without end, where time is not the master of our destinies."

Cairo tightens the grip on the paper.

"But for now we part ways, like the waves leaving the shore, destined to wander alone in the depths of time. Yet, in the deepest recesses of my being, her essence remains engraved like an ancient melody."

As she reads those words, Cairo's tone of voice becomes soft and melancholic, conveying a sense of nostalgia and sadness. Her words are filled with emotion, with a slight tremor in her voice reflecting the depth of her feelings. Cairo seems to be carried away by the intensity of the text, and her reading is infused with an aura of melancholy and reflection.

"And so I venture into the night, with her memory as my guide, suspended between the pain of loss and the hope of return. In the silence of my soul, I continue to dream, hoping that one day our destinies will intertwine again."

After finishing the reading, Cairo remains silent for a moment, her gaze lost in deeper thoughts. I can sense her mind in turmoil, her eyes reflecting a mixture of curiosity and admiration. Then, slowly, she lifts her gaze towards me, a spark of interest shining in her coffee-colored eyes.

"Who is the muse behind this extraordinary piece?" she asks, her voice warm and full of curiosity, while her expression reflects a sincere desire to understand the hidden meaning behind the words.

I knew perfectly well that I couldn't say it was her, so I just shrugged nonchalantly. "No one in particular," I add calmly, even though my heart was beating rapidly inside me.

"Yet it seems so specific," Cairo observes, glancing at the paper.

Her words make me uncomfortable, but I try to maintain composure. "It's just a product of my imagination," I say with a forced smile, hoping to divert attention away from myself.

"The only certainty is that she's a brown-haired girl with brown eyes," Cairo asserts with a mischievous smile, and a shiver runs down my spine. "The classic always attracts, it seems," she adds, chuckling softly.

Her observation makes me feel like butterflies are doing acrobatics in my stomach.

"Don't be stubborn now," I blurt out in embarrassment, trying to deflect attention from the imminent truth that Cairo is about to uncover with her acute intelligence.

Cairo bursts into laughter, a sound so genuine and contagious that it makes me feel special. Her laughter fills the air around us, wiping away any traces of embarrassment and fear, and I find myself laughing along with her, feeling light and free.

Cairo stops laughing and smiles, a look of sincerity painted on her face.

"It seems you were good at freelancing after all," she observes with a light and friendly tone.

Her comment makes me feel appreciated and recognized for my abilities, and I smile in response. "Thank you," I reply with gratitude, feeling encouraged by her approval.

"I think Professor Miller will like it," Cairo continues, biting her lower lip, lost in her thoughts.

A strange sparkle lights up her eyes, and at that moment, I decide to ask her a question that has tormented me for too long.

"Cairo do you have a crush on Professor Miller?" I ask timidly, curious but also intimidated by the possible answer.

Cairo blushes deeply. "What on earth are you asking?" she responds sharply, clearly embarrassed.

"From the way you react to his mention..." I say with curiosity, "and also you're completely red," I add with a timid smile.

Cairo shakes her head firmly. "No, no," she responds promptly, "I admire Professor Miller, but I don't have a crush on him. He's old, and, above all, he's married." Her tone is decisive.

"Well, gray hair isn't very attractive, right?" I ask with a smile on my lips, while I observe Cairo nodding slightly, smiling broadly and showing her dimples.

Freckles surround her face as her hair falls gracefully around her shoulders.

Cairo looks up at the sky, which is turning orange at sunset, a sign that the day is coming to an end. "I think it's time to go," she says timidly, almost regretfully.

"Is the study session over already?" I say in surprise, pouting.

Cairo nods and smiles. "So, do you like literature now?" she winks, teasing me.

"Not exactly, but the lesson goes better with you," I reply, aware of what I'm saying and noticing the slight blush on Cairo's cheeks.

I realize what I've said afterward and feel terribly embarrassed. A wave of nervousness overwhelms me as I notice a hint of pink on Cairo's cheeks.

Oh darn, I want to die, I think dramatically.

Cairo looks away. "Well, see you tomorrow.""Ah, yes, of course! See you tomorrow," I reply, trying to hide my embarrassment behind a smile. I feel the heat rising in my face as the embarrassment grows inside me. "Thank you for today, it was... interesting," I quickly add, hoping to alleviate the strange tension that had arisen.

"Thanks to you," she says softly, her gaze warm and comforting.

With a smile on my lips, I watch Cairo walk away. Despite the day starting off badly, it ended in the best possible way.

#jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x you #jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega x fem!reader #professor #miller's girl #cairo sweet x reader #cairo sweet #study session #fluff

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bunny-ology · 1 month

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I started off in college as an education major wanting to be a middle school science teacher, but ended up quitting that because of how ableist the major was.

I switched to an agriculture degree because I grew up on a farm, and during 2020 I was constantly at home and convinced myself I could physically do the work, and I completed that degree despite the professors being ableist and morally questionable.

While I was an Ag major, I was working for the geology museum on campus, and decided to get my Masters degree in museum studies. During my studies, I realized how disabled people are constantly left out of deai discussions in the museum field, only ever seen as potential visitors and never potential workers, and so I finished my degree with independent research into how disabled staff are treated.

During my last semester in grad school, I started working as a substitute teacher and realized that my education major professors were wrong; I as a disabled person can totally be a teacher without a problem. My grad school advisor also told me that a lot of myself professionals go back and forth between the school system and museums. So I'm taking the leap to try to become a teacher

I just took my GACE (the Georgia certification test) and passed at a professional level! Once I am hired by a school, I will start taking the remainder of classes that I need to be considered a full fledged teacher

I've literally just made a circle, but the agriculture and museum studies degrees are still a huge help to me as a science educator. Other than space, agriculture perfectly set me up to understand everything required for students to learn and places me in a good spot to introduce an FFA chapter to the school, while my museum studies degree has allowed me to see education from a different perspective than my coworkers in order to more adequately come up with ideas in joint discussions. Additionally, I included disability and deai research in almost everything I did from work to school, and as a disabled person myself, I feel that my understanding of accessibility and empathy for other disabled people has prepared me more for interacting with disabled students in my classes.

Not a single bit of my journey was for naught, and I no longer feel ashamed or regretful towards my agriculture degree. I'm also excited to continue learning and eventually helping others to learn too

#education major #agriculture major #museum studies #museology #study blog #studyblr #ag major #life update #disabled students #disabled studyblr #disabled academia

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strawberry-crocodile · 3 months

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Multiple things can be true at once. Transmisogyny can be a vital term for some of us to communicate the intersection of transphobia and misogyny that we face. But others may experience it more complicatedly or severely, as in the case of transmisogynoir. And for others (e.g., certain nonbinary people, trans male/masculine-spectrum people), misogyny may intersect with transphobia in different ways that aren’t adequately articulated by transmisogyny. This doesn’t necessarily make transmisogyny “wrong”; it may simply mean that we need additional language.

- Julia Serano

I want to be clear, I don't intend to send this as a "gotcha". I'm just curious about how you feel about this quote as someone who is passionate about discussing transmisogyny (as you should be)

it more or less lines up with what i talk about- that Transmisogyny is an important term that is separate from intersexism and how transmasculine people experience transphobia.

as for "additional language", to talk about my thoughts on Transmisandry;

As a teenager (this is something I'm genuinely ashamed of, to be clear) I spent a few years immersed in anti-sjw MRA spaces. I was sucked in by my own unhappiness with manhood (which in hindsight probably had... other causes) as well as a conservative desire for my gut reactions (we don't need more feminism or anti-racism, everything is fine!) to be right, and what privilege i had to be unchallenged.

Part of what brought me into those spaces was that I was choosing to focus on Men's Issues- to single them out, to try and compare them to feminism and "legitimize" Men's Rights as something that needs space, needs a voice, needs focus.

And now, many of the people who use the word Transmisandry and try to talk about Transphobia Against Trans Men without a proper feminist framework get sucked into harmful, conservative ideology, frame women within their community as equally capable of oppressing men- if not moreso- and absolve themselves of the responsibility to question their own biases, prejudices, and privilege.

Transmasculine people experience transphobia- there's no doubt in my mind there- and misogyny can often play a part, because that is the language of a gendered underclass. However, within the queer and trans community, there are biases and trends that benefit trans men over trans women. This is literally what intersectionalism means. This is a big reason why we need to be able to talk about transmisogyny in the specific; and because the reverse is not true, transmisandry lacks that ground.

All this is to say, I don't really care about the semantics of whether or not Trans Misandry is an intersection of misandry and transphobia; rather, that transmisandry just isn't a structural issue within the community that particularly needs to be identified and discussed separate from transphobia in general. Anyone who chooses to single out and focus on it- anyone who isn't content with "transphobia (as it manifests) against transmascs"- is very likely to be falling for the aforementioned MRA pitfalls, and if not, will be in the company of such people soon enough.

#dalucaray #tme ppl #THIS TURNED OUT LONG #and a bit personal #i do not like talking about my past dabbling in the anti-sjw spaces #THANKFULLY i spent my time circlejerking on reddit rather than directly harassing people #but it's still a deeply embarassing and upsetting thing for me to think about

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hilkaro · 3 months

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Quite an ordinary graphic analysis, really.

Gato posted a new artwork of Fox, and since I'm quite normal when it comes to this guy, I'll do a little analysis and share my own assumptions about the overall appearance (as I get the impression that what is generally available is only a fragment of the whole; I don't know what the patrons saw, and if there's more, I envy them).

I'll start by saying that the artwork is very dark; I had to lighten it to see the details better.

I assume Fox is lying in his studio, where he streams. He's wearing his costume and mask. Besides him, you can also see a choking collar with protruding spikes and a gag with a ring. Both of these items are well-known to us, as they were props he used during a certain scene... I wonder if there's a tentacle somewhere outside the frame.

As for Ren himself, it seems like he's lying on his back, probably beneath me, you, or anyone else... it doesn't matter, and he's looking up. His eyes glow in the darkness, indicating that, unlike me/you, he can see everything perfectly. His ears are lowered. I don't know about foxes, but I have a cat, and he flattens his ears when he's nervous, dominated, or wants to make more room for my hand when I pet him on the head. In this case, I assume it's not about petting or anger—Fox's eyebrows are slightly raised, not furrowed. So, I assume that in this situation, the beastkin is submitting to me/you as the dominant person, in control of the situation.

One of his hands is visible, holding a knife with a very thin blade. It seems to be a different knife than the one he used in the game. The internet claims that this type of blade is good for... filleting. Hmmm. The sharp edge is directed towards me/you, but I don't think it's a real threat or defense on his part. Rather, it's a reminder that despite the situation, Fox remains vigilant and ready.

I would like to go back to his eyes, which seem to be heavily swollen, as if he had a lot of loose skin on the lower eyelid. I understand that this may be due to perspective and how the skin, especially loose skin, works when lying down, but in my opinion, it ages him significantly. For comparison:

Perhaps it's because of the mask, which tightly encases his face, the lack of adequate sleep or hydration, or overworking; I don't know. The fact is, the lower eyelid looks swollen.

That's all that is visible. Now, what is not visible. I'm almost sure that his other hand is raised and lies next to him with the palm facing up, in a gesture of submission and helplessness (in contrast to the other hand). I hope this side is the "nicer" one (similar to other pillows), and here we only have, for example, an unbuttoned pants button. On this "spicy" side, I would like to see more of his body (and fur), as it was in the game when he visited the player between shows. I feel that this Ren has more confidence and has accepted his body enough not to be ashamed to show it. It would be a shame if Fox decided to show only his penis, at least for me. And I hope that if the other side exists or will exist in the future, it will be bright and in color, as if it took place in a cell in the bunker.

That's all that came to my mind. If anyone has any further thoughts, please write; I'll gladly read them. After all... normal people should support each other when it comes to Fox, heh.

Fox belongs to Gatobob. The screenshots come from the game The Price of Flesh and from Gato's Twitter.

#the price of flesh #tpof announcer #tpof fox #tpof ren #ren hana #another shitpost #im so normal #im not obsessed #dont send help

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blackpearlblast · 24 days

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they killed michael smith i thought i'd have time to share the post again to at least have people Know what was happening because all the executions i'd follow so far we're late at night. G-d. g-d. i am not an adequate source of news i've been trying to post from the death penalty action mailing list when i have the chance but please subscribe to them yourselves i'm trying to focus on getting ezzideen and his family out of gaza and i miss things that are so important and i feel ashamed and upset with myself. Rest in peace michael smith i am so sorry

#black death

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oraclekleo · 8 months

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Hello, my dear followers!

I'm sorry for not posting new content these days.

The fact is that several factors piled up and I feel so completely unmotivated to continue posting.

I highly appreciate the ones who keep interacting with me (there are a few of you but trust me, I know and I love you for your activity here).

On the other hand, my poll showed that majority of my followers don't ever reblog content or that people feel uncomfortable rebloging 18+ content. Not gonna lie to you, it hurts when someone likes to read your content but feel ashamed for it.

I can understand this for sure. I can also understand that in the current world, I'm not gonna be motivated through tips either. Perfectly understandable.

However, I feel genuinely discouraged by the fact majority of my followers don't even leave a comment of feedback on my readings. There are many readings I have done for idols or celebs I personally don't follow and I have specifically asked for any type of feedback to know whether I have been anywhere near accurate and there was no response.

I understand that you guys feel embarrassed rebloging my content. It's fine. I mean, you will hopefully mature in time so you don't feel ashamed for what you like but it might take years for you to get there.

I understand nobody has the funds to support content creators through tips.

But what harm would it be if you actually gave feedback? Anonymous one can't be traced back to you. What is your excuse here? Because I have mentioned it million times that feedback means everything to any content creator. By not providing one, you show you don't care for other people's feelings and their hard work and efforts.

Don't get me wrong! I don't mind if your feedback comes a year after I have posted something. The time isn't important to me and I'm so very grateful to everyone who actually gives feedback and interacts with me.

I have over 1000 followers and even if half of them were bots, it's still sad I usually get feedback and interactions from 10-15 people here.

You need to understand one thing - Tarot is my hobby. I do it for my own pleasure, yes. But that doesn't apply to posting on Tumblr. I can continue doing tarot readings but without any increase in support through feedback, I might simply stop posting on Tumblr. It takes my time and energy. And the reciprocity here is not adequate as of now.

PLEASE, STOP HIDING IN THE SHADOWS. 3-WORD COMMENT WILL DO MIRACLES FOR ME.

Yes, this is my blog and I carry the 99% of responsibility for it but there's that 1% that falls onto you, guys. It's feedback. Give feedback. Show you actually appreciate what I do. And if you don't like my content, then it's also fine. Let me know. I'll just stop spamming your feed if that's what's demanded from me. 😊

This doesn't apply only to me. If you are merely a content consumer (you don't create your own content), have the basic human decency and show the content creators you care and you appreciate their hard work. Can you imagine what would happen if all of the content creators just went on a strike? Can you imagine being left with your own thoughts instead of keeping your brains distracted with PACs, fanfics and other types of entertainment?

Be a good person and support your favourite content creators!

Thank you!

Kleo 🦄

#oracle kleo #kleo rants a bit #show some love #show some respect #support content creators

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yuraslefttoe · 5 months

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hey, it's me again! I came to pester you with questions!! *there should be a scary laugh, but it sounds more like mean giggles*

(by the way, I’m thinking about sending you such long texts with questions (because I have a lot of them!!) once one or two weeks, if you don’t mind. . . . . . .you don't mind..??? (god, I hope you don’t get tired of me..!) I'm so sorry, please, I'm just very interested!! *qwq*)

ok, let's start with the sweetest part, prelude. ACTUALLY, I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT YOU REPLY SO QUICKLY, GOD, NOT PASSED A FEW HOURS!!!!!! I THOUGHT YOU HAD TOO MANY QUESTIONS SO I DID NOT EXPECT A SO SOON REPLY!!

I’ll remind you once again how much I adore your work (after all, you deserve it!!), and I’ll also say that I specifically shouldn’t talk about posts tagged with the adm, because I’ve read your tumblr and twitter in its entirety several times, I even have a separate album in my gallery with answers that particularly interested me, there are several hundred screenshots there and I don’t regret anything! (sorry if my hyperfixation may be intimidating!!)

*=^._.^= ∫*

and now the questions!!!!

1. my wife doesn’t have a tumblr, but her suggestion interested me and can be seen in the first two screenshots(the translation sounds like: “after the release of “red hour” I have an assumption that andrey is more... athletic than misha. either this is because of ferry’s drawing style, or he really has such wide shoulders")so now we are interested to know about the physique of your characters!! maybe some of them are thin, or vice versa, a little overweight. and what about physical training? did you have any headcanons for this??? ( by the way, when I ask about “characters” I mean not only misha and andrey, but also europe and maya, because they are also worthy of attention <зз)

2. what about the abbreviation "dyusha" for andrey? in russian it is... not used very often, but still, it sounds very cute. so it would be interesting to know how you would feel about this? 3. I also want to hear about the names of the characters!! how did you choose them? I mean........ how did it happen that from ☺europa☺ you switched to 👹MiKhAiL👹?? (I'M SO SORRY, BUT MISHA'S FULL NAME SOUNDS SOMETHING THREATENING. MY UNCLE'S DOG HAS THE SAME NAME EHE- *ᕕ(ಥ▽ಥ)ᕗ*)

4. and lastly, let's return to my wife for another moment. she suggested that andrey was now also in a time loop. what do you say about that? and also in enigma, she noticed that misha seemed to be addressing the second person in the lines: "and if you wanted to be anything more than just free" and "you’ve seen a hundred lies I see that all the time". is this second person a viewer? or maybe one of the previously mentioned characters??

the last photo, by the way, is one of the sketches that I found so far in my gallery! ^^

initially it was planned to attach two sketches, but andrey turned out TOO bad, I’m ashamed to show him. someday I'll redraw it into something normal.... maybe. but! I really like the pic with misha and the wolf(I hope this is the wolf you were talking about lol. google didn’t show me anything else, and I’ve never been to ikea myself, ehe...)

(and I don’t want to post all this yet, because running a tumblr was certainly not part of my plans, haha)) I registered here solely to read your blog, and not to maintain my own)

sorry again for possible illiteracy, and also for the chaotic nature of my thoughts, haha, I don’t know how to adequately express them in english.. and also, I’m really REALLY apologize that the text was too long, next time I’ll try to be shorter...

okay im gonna try and answer everything here in a coherent way so sorry if nothing makes sense

im just fine with lotes of questions :) answering asks and responding to comments is one of my favorite things ever and i brings a verry big smile to my face

on andrei: i consider him to be a skinny little gut but not exactly unathletic, and in addition i think he would have basic combat training and probably be good with firearms. misha is probably a very average bodytype, nothing special, not particularly athletic.

i do not speak russian (though ferry has recently encouraged me to learn so maybe in like four years ill be able to form a sentence) so i dont know anything about the short forms so you can do whatever you want. if you coin it and peoples tart calling him that i will not stop it from happening

i do not name my characters, i usually let me friends name them (i think that the only one i named was europa and his partner). going forward maybe ill try to make it more cohesive

the time loop idea im seeing thrown around alot is really cool and while i havent particularly wrote any of my songs about that in general i see it fitting into the loose narrative i have going on. also in enigma misha is definitely talking to andrei whenever he says the word "you" but it could also be to the listener because the entire theme of enigma is 4th wall breaking and meta shenanigans like that

that sketch is SO CUTE oh my god

#asks #adm #misha #andrei #deepest lore

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jelka-jan · 3 days

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The story of how Jelka tried to find a boyfriend

ATTENTION!!! WITH THIS POST I DO NOT WANT TO INSULT, OR OFFEND ANYON!!

Well, spring came, and from March to mid-April I started trying to build a romantic relationship with someone. To do this, I signed up for one of the dating apps available to me. And... I haven’t seen such a theater of the absurd for a long time, despite my experience working with people. Let me briefly mention the type of perverts who directly declare that they have forgotten here. But something else struck me: very, very many “grooms” who want to find their soul mate put forward the following requirements for girls (hereinafter - a somewhat exaggerated collective list):

“Your height should be between 150 and 165 centimeters. No more! Weighing STRICTLY no more than 50 kilograms. STRICTLY blond/brunette/red, only long hair/hair no lower than shoulders, brown/blue/gray-brown-raspberry eyes. You should have clear skin, no moles or scars / having unusual moles in an interesting place will be an advantage...”

Question: do you guys really want to meet a girl or are you still choosing a purebred dog or horse? That you wouldn’t be ashamed to appear in public, and you managed to grab a medal at the exhibition.

And I understand perfectly well that no matter how much they say that appearance does not matter, we still take it into account. However (it’s true, please forgive me if I say something out of the ordinary), it’s very awkward and even disgusting for me to see when guys who put forward such strict demands on girls in terms of appearance, judging by the photo, do not burden themselves with basic take care of themselves, do not have to deal with a razor and a comb, and are unlikely to exhaust themselves with sports and diets.

Okay, let's move on:

“You should always have a fresh manicure-pedicure, makeup and hairstyle. You must be able to cook, you must have a constant income, and in bed you must be a lioness-tiger, ready to experiment.

and at the same time, the “groom” is not going to write anything about himself in the questionnaire, putting forward the condition that he will tell everything about himself during a personal meeting...

I'm sorry, but is this ok? Maybe you want me to give you the key to the apartment where the money is?

No, of course, I also found normal, quite adequate guys there, I went on dates with several of them, but alas, I didn’t date anyone more than twice and, to be honest, I didn’t want to. Somehow I just didn’t feel like seeing each other again, that’s all. Perhaps I’m already accustomed to loneliness, or I have a subconscious fear of meeting new people due to negative experiences... I can’t give an exact answer to this. And to be honest, almost every date I felt awkward, sometimes I didn’t know what to talk about with my interlocutor, and from frequent stories about myself I began to feel like a parrot.

In general, it’s a tiresome and even stressful (for me personally) business of going on dates and looking for your soulmate. Sometimes thoughts creep into my mind that apparently the time has not yet come for me and I need not to rush things, but enjoy freedom, go to dance classes, go to dance parties, blog the way I want, draw whenever I want, do makeup and get dressed, and not worry that my partner won’t like it. As they say, if you want halva, eat it, if you want gingerbread.

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problemnyatic · 1 month

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You're so right. I had to give up pets I loved very dearly because I learned I was not capable of adequate care. Even though I rationally know that it's better this way, I still feel so ashamed that it happened in the first place. :-( thank you for articulating your point so kindly

Proud of you for making that difficult decision. Little else is more difficult than accepting when we are not doing right by something or someone we love, but when true, it's necessary. I have unwavering faith that you did the best you could by them, and I'm sorry you weren't right for each other than the end. That you gave them up for their sake is the ultimate sacrifice of love. I hope you forgive yourself someday.

#problemnyatic answers

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zorciarkrildrush · 7 months

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Vampire hdb

So there's two DE things I keep rotating in my mind and one of them is elaborations on What Makes The Pale Wax And Wane, because I think the game and the book give us some insight we can play with and I want to add what I think on top of it, in addition to the existing wonderful essay. This one deserves a proper writeup and I'm gleefully procrastinating.

THE OTHER ONE HOWEVER WHICH I CANNOT LEAVE UNSAID AT ALL is Vampire HDB.

To be fair it started with a more general "what if there's a vampire inner layer to the RCM not a lot of people - including within the RCM, including Harry - know about, but there's good reasons people are afraid of the cops and it's not just the usual". Harry finds out, chases increasingly offputting cases where a likely suspect is a well-placed officer, and so on.

But for the past week I've been thinking of a vampire hdb. What I'm thinking is, this is something that happened around the same time as the bender. He wakes up with a classic transformation hangover. We don't even have to decide he's magically cured of brain damage and other pains - vampirism could preserve him as he is and only prevent further injury. Another option is that the curse will heal him in all ways, even neurological, but only eventually and with enough nutrition and adequate slumber and so on.

So this lead me to several fun thoughts about the game, as a vampire Harrier:

(By the way during the course of this I'm gonna refer to we and you kind of interchangeably. It just means you or I as players of the game. This is a side effect of rambling.)

We can run around in daytime as usual. Any discomfort we experience early on is attributed to the bender, so Harry doesn't think of it as very strange. Even after the reveal, the game doesn't actively stop us from going around in sunlight and only uses narrative means to dissuade us. I'm basing this on hdb being perfectly capable of running around after getting shot in the leg (and possibly the shoulder as well) - obviously there was a gameplay consideration here but hey, this is one too. There's 2-3 other points where the game encourages walking, but ZA/UM didn't feel like mechanically punishing us for running anyway and I don't feel like it either. I feel like some narrative punishments can include skill disadvantages, Kim uneasily suggesting you open an umbrella or wear shades (a classic for hangovers!), or just take it easy in general during the daytime. Also, maybe the night doesn't cap out 02:00 anymore, and the suggestions to pack it in for the night also come later than usual. Waking up is… maybe no longer at 0730? Volition will be disappointed. Then again the vow was to do so until you die, is it really truly relevant anymore?

Obviously this affects the investigation - who knows what you really are and archly hints at it? The Smoker? Evrart? Who dismisses the concept out of hand as fantasy? Joyce? Are the cryptozoologists actually extremely skeptic of the concept, and attribute it to Harry's generally confused demeanor? Is Pryce the one who turned you, hypnotizing you to forget it before sending you to Martinaise?

Are there other vampires, or different creatures of the night around Martinaise? Can we finally meet the Mysterious Eyes, when the night is darkest?

Can we finally eat the rich? Or at least say we want to, as good socialists should, and do we distress our environment with our violence a-la roughing up the lorry driver?

I also thought of a sliding scale between the desire for humanity and morals (not to be confused with moralism) vs the vampiric instinct. Obviously this is tracked in-game via a score called good vampire / bad vampire. To me this can affect the sensitivity to anti-vampiric implements - one of the approaches I like best is that the sun is harmful to vampires not because of UV, but because it's seen as a force of celestial good and illuminates the vampire's sins, of which they are so ashamed they experience physical pain. Having to be invited into places (another hilarious narrative option) also has to do with this - the vampire wants to make their victim bring disaster upon themselves with the invitation. I was thinking as you slide further into darkness, you must become less and less ashamed of what you are. With a person like hdb, where shame is already a massive issue, I can't help but wonder how this score can manifest, and how the skills will react with various scores and in different interactions. This of course brings me to -

Skills! Let's talk skills, I've been dying to talk about the skills all day. Logic, Empathy and maybe Esprit De Corps - I want to say, these stay kind of normal to begin with, but they do suffer if you slide more and more into darkness. Rhetoric, Visual Calculus, Authority, Suggestion - these always benefit from being a vampire (unless challenged with anti-vampiric implements, maybe) Drama, Inland Empire - insanely high. Off their rocker. Drama quotes deliriously from works such as The Vampire Lestat, IE is conjuring entirely new concepts of what it means to live in the garden of savage beauty that is your mind. All the motorics are higher. That one's a given. Phys. Instrument, pain threshold, and endurance - also boosted, not much to say. Vampires are strong and fast and can tolerate much more than humans, when they aren't staked through the heart.

Finally, there are 4 more skills worth mentioning. Half Light, for all intents and purposes, is your vampiric instinct to feed. The cornered beast. It hates what it's doing, but at the same time - what it wants is survival. It has to do it. When pressed by hunger or whatever else, it will push you to kill and eat. Electrochem is also deeply vampiric. To the newly formed vampire, the world is beautiful. Scents are magnetic. The taste of fresh prey is almost carnal. It wants you to partake of everything. Permission is granted. God is in his heaven.

But there's two skills who aren't as supportive of bad vampire actions. Volition is always Harry's moral support. Volition always wants Harry to do the right thing. The more Harry tiptoes into darkness, I want to say Volition grows wearier, and sadder, and Volition checks start getting worse and worse. If there's one skill that might convince us as players to steer clear of being a total monster, it will be Volition.

And there's Shivers. I think the spirit of Revachol knows what you are. I think the spirit of Revachol loves you, as it loves everyone in Revachol, but it also knows you are a blight upon it. It will try and dissuade you. It will try to humanize whoever you stalk. It will remind you you have a part to play, much grander than this. But if you disregard it, it will have to find another champion. It will blow away, and for all intents and purposes, Harry can be abandoned entirely by it.

#selfpost #disco elysium #long post

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comrade-bastard · 4 months

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Some of u guys need to be nicer to people that struggle with incontinence issues. It's not just old people wearing adult diapers. It's adults. Some of those adults are under the age of 25, some of them are only wearing leak pads or panty liners, but incontinence is still incontinence and it deserves to be handled with respect.

This goes double for the people who struggle to adequately address their incontinence issues. Whether that be due to money reasons (they're more expensive than pads sometimes!!) personal shame, or even just a lack of understanding, you don't deserve to feel ashamed for not being able to perfectly control every muscle in your lower body. It's not shameful to have an involuntary bowel or bladder movement. It's involuntary.

You're not embarassing for needing to ask to use the bathroom more, it's not a crime to carry extra pants and underwear in the event of an incident, and in case you didn't get the memo, you're not "too young" to have these problems!! I'm 21 and I have bladder problems!!! It happens to anyone for any number of reasons!!

I genuinely hope more young people with bladder and bowel issues get the support and help they need bc I'm really tired of people being pro-disability until it's something "gross".

#to my physically and mentally disabled babygurls who struggle with incontinence: i see u #and i love u #disability

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desceros · 4 months

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So I'm this anon... (And this is gonna be long and a little sappy because it's like 4:40am-ish as I'm writing this, I'm so sorry, I wouldn't have the confidence otherwise):

"I gotta know, gotta ask- HOW do you write the way that you do?? How does one get to that point? I've been wanting to write fanfics for awhile now, but I don't know where to start, and just... do you have any advice at all for beginners? Because you're like... really good at what you do!!"

-Except I finally made a blog to keep my interests anonymous, and while I feel scared still (I am like... an overly ashamed person over interests and such), I want to get over it.

Just wanted to say that like... I had already liked your writing before, but I had been trying to stay away from Symphony at least until there was more written... I caved and read it all today because of the asks you've been getting, finishing up just like thirty minutes ago at 4:30am because restless nights. And I just wanna say that like... the feelings I'm having right now are certified crazy. I feel empty but like... so, so full all at once?? I spent the last few chapters of reading crying (So much so that I had to stop a few times just to see), only to realize that I was picturing everything in my head that I was reading. Vividly, or as much so as I can, with my imagination being more... vibes than anything, anymore. Like, settings and everything are easy. Feelings like rain and stuff too. But I haven't been able to picture things this vividly, haven't been able to focus so intently on reading and just reading... since early high school at the least?? Well over five years ago. It's a feeling that I've craved desperately, to sink into a different world and just exist there... and it's not the same that it used to be, but it made me cry all the same, to have even a fraction of that feeling back.

And I mean, a lot can be said about me as a person that a fucking tmnt fanfic (More like a few tmnt fanfics) gets me back into a headspace that I've been chasing for literal, actual years, but I think it's more an indicator of the intensity and thought behind your writing than anything. It feels silly, but like... reading what you write feels like a gift to me, just for the fact that I can get even a slight bit of the magic of reading back, something I have truly, wholly missed for so long. Even more so because I want to write again, to finally, actually write- Which... I mean it's the internet and I'm not gonna trauma dump, just... It's important for me to say, important to me that I specify. I've lost these feelings, the ability to focus on reading, and been unable to write, among other things, due to a lot of trauma. And the fact that I'm getting this back almost solely because of you, it means so much to me, and it wouldn't feel right not to say it.

As silly and cheesy and sappy as it feels... just... genuinely thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, for being so unafraid to be yourself and do what you do, pouring so much time and thought into the things you enjoy. It really, truly inspires others to do the same, and it inspires me to be less shameful, less apologetic about myself and my interests, and more brave. I'm gonna wrap this up before I write you a fucking novel though (Especially because it's past 5am as I'm wrapping this up, and I'm not doing so well- definitely didn't spend 30 minutes on this...), just like... I don't know. I had to get this out of my system. You're great, super, super great. I'm afraid I haven't articulated my thoughts well enough, but if I mull them over forever, I'll get too scared to send this. And if I start writing again, when I start writing again because damn it I will, I want you to know it's almost singlehandedly thanks to you, as well as the rest of the lovely tmnt fandom.

(Again I'm so, so sorry for the length and sappiness omg I swear I have a sense of shame and will be embarrassed after adequate rest... Gonna go hide in my hole now)

puts my hands on your shoulders. looks you in the eyes. i am. So Proud Of You.

first. let me say that i am really. just insanely aware that admitting that youve been in a dark place and moving out of it is a difficult, difficult thing to talk about. it’s a difficult place to be. it’s like. an advanced performance of humanity in a way. reaching into your own brain and scooping out the parts that don’t make you happy anymore. it’s so. so hard. important. valuable. life-changing. but hard.

and i’m proud of you for doing it. i’m?? so amazingly touched??? to know that i had any hand in that. holy shit. sick. but my part in this is small, even if it doesn’t feel that way to you right now. you’re the one doing all the hard, difficult work. and i’m rooting for you!!!

i know there’s a lot of stigma against ‘trauma dumping’ and for good reason. but i also think it’s important to be able to open yourself up and discuss the vulnerabilities you feel. that’s how humans are meant to heal our souls. with one another, hand in hand. i hope sending this made you feel better. i hope reading my response will make you feel better. i hope you are able to find that place of healing. i’ve been there myself and it’s—it’s nice. being able to feel things again.

be unashamed. be unafraid. let your heart grasp the things that bring you joy. write the things that make you happy. chase your light and bottle it for the days when things feel dark again.

thank you so much for such a lovely ask. it really made my day and brought me so much joy and happiness. may that now turn upon you threefold 🌸

#ask tag #onion air floating around……….

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laura-the-mellifluous · 4 months

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Wrote this depressing sh*t...

I thought this would be therapeutic, but I'm actually more bummed out now than I was before. I wish I could afford a therapist so they could read this, but I'm still unemployed and the whole mental health industry is f**d. I call it, "An Honest Cover Letter:"

Dear Prospective Employer,

My name is Laura Lewandowski. People who know my extended family call me “Laura Lew,” because my dad was “Mr. Lew.” I grew up in my father’s shadow as “the cool teacher” at most of my schools, which at least helped me academically because I didn’t have a choice but to care about my education. When I write these things, I often say that I’ve “worn a lot of hats,” but that’s not accurate. Hats are something you can take off at any time and are actually encouraged to take off in formal situations. What I’ve worn at different jobs are masks, always to play the part of either a supporting actress or a clown. I guess my masks are really convincing, because I’m never asked to take them off after work, and people often tell me that I’m “the happiest person they know” or that I “never get angry.” It’s still really hard to wear masks all day long, multiple days a week, but I always pull through. When your parents, your extended family, and most of their friends are educators, you learn that you must show every adult in your life respect, even if some adults say the most idiotic, heartless things you’ve ever heard. Thanks to my life experiences, I can adapt to just about any audience, though I often resent the crowd I’m performing for.

There was a time in my life where my identity was tied directly to what I like to do, because it kept me distinct from the family education trade. I was an artist and a writer who would sometimes hike around in nature, geek out about science, and read about the paranormal for fun. I even went to school to be an artist. What I didn’t know was that I would start experiencing chronic pain at a much younger age than society told me I would. I now live in fear of my body failing me while working on a project, or writing a long report, or being on a hike; I certainly don’t want to identify as an artist anymore, even if I still make artwork any time my body lets me. Vulnerability makes me ashamed of myself, and being honest about my limitations just makes me feel more vulnerable. Plus, I don’t have nearly the strict limitations of the other disabled people I live and work with regularly. I know I should just suck it up and “do a regular job.”

So, maybe you can give me a regular job where I don’t have to wear a mask - at least not all the time. I need a job where I don’t have to sit with my lack-of-identity for long periods of time, because no paycheck is worth that deep emptiness. We can probably have a few funny conversations at the water cooler (if we have one), and I’ll do my job adequately enough to fit in for eight hours. Then I’ll go home to sleep, get up, and do it all again tomorrow. I’ll never tell you if I’m actually feeling sad about something, so I promise that you’ll be able to focus on important things at work.

Thanks for allowing me to take up some of your valuable time,

Laura Lewandowski

#my writing #depressing shit #if cover letters were honest

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onecornerface · 4 months

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Drunk-posting on social media

On a dozen or more occasions over the last four years, I have gotten drunk and then made social media posts which I later regretted. I regret drunk posts for many overt and subtle reasons, which I’ve been thinking about more intensely over the last year. One reason is that my drunk posts sometimes turn out to be wrong or weird in ways that I find offputting and cringe-inducing.

But even when my drunk posts are good, even retrospectively, they tend to induce cringe in myself. I’ve struggled to figure out why. I think a large part of it stems from considerations of memory, integrity, and psychological unity: The day after making drunk posts, I remember *that* I made drunk posts, but I don’t remember *what* exactly I said—I only remember the gist of it. More specifically, I can’t remember exactly how I worded the post, and I can’t remember exactly why I wrote it or wrote it in such-and-such a way. As a result, I lose my sense of psychological unity, because I can’t deliberately stand by what I wrote—even if, in fact, it was a good post that I *could* have stood by *if* I’d posted it while sober.

Of course, I don't perfectly remember my sober posts in all their details or reasons, either. But I think my sober posts' details and reasons are more immediately re-accessible to my memory, and that I can usually discern offhand that I at least roughly stand by them, or that I recognize my thought processes that led to them. This sense of being able to "stand by" what I wrote and why seems to be important to preventing the onset of extreme cringe.

With my drunk posts, it is much blurrier and harder to re-access the thought process that led to them, sometimes leading me to feel weirdly and painfully torn-- as if I both did and did not write them. I can't quite identify with the thoughts being expressed, as if they are *not* mine. But I also feel ashamed, as if they *are* mine. I'm not sure how to describe this.

I think when I'm drunk, I am both (consciously and unconsciously) more sensitive to the reasons to make a post, *and* also (consciously and unconsciously) less sensitive to the reasons against making a post. By "sensitive to a reason," I mean some combination of (1) inclined to recognize that there is a reason, (2) inclined to recognize the weight of the reason, and (3) inclined to be motivated by the reason in proportion to its weight. In this way, I am both more rational *and* less rational (both epistemically and practically) when I am drunk.

Drugs can change one's perspective by making some kinds of reasons more (or less) salient than others, and these temporary changes may result in a benign or harmful rearrangement of how a person relates to their own long-term values.

I think this fact helps explain the inconsistent quality of my drunk posts, and also the psychological unity problem i.e. why I feel torn (as a rational agent) as to whether I identify with having made the post.

Admittedly it is not a full explanation, but I think I'm onto something here. This reasons-sensitivity framework is congruent with why psychedelics tend to lead to some combination of real and fake insights (which I've posted about before), and also why alcohol causes "disinhibition" (whether in committing cringe posts or serious crimes)-- via strengthening the salience of the pro-X reasons and weakening the salience of the anti-X reasons.

The psychological unity problem is also exacerbated by the interaction of the reasons-sensitivity problem and the memory problem. The memory problem prevents me from adequately re-accessing what combination of reasons led me to make the post or re-evaluating those reasons in light of my long-term values.

I can, of course, re-read my drunk posts later while sober. This often helps. But this is not a full solution to the memory problem, because I often cannot adequately remember exactly why I wrote the post in such-and-such a way. So the post can still make me cringe. Also I am sometimes unwilling to re-read my drunk posts while sober, worrying that they are bad and/or weird-- leading to continual cringe that I have more trouble coming to grips with.

A sizeable majority of my drunk posts are non-regrettable, and many are excellent. I am proud of these. However, the regrettable ones stand out drastically. My own drunk posting has probably been the single biggest source of cringe in my life over the last four years. I only recently started vividly realizing just how bad this is. (Prior to four years ago, I never got drunk at home, but only at parties. So I did not previously have much of this problem.)

When drunk, I justify my drunk-posting to myself on the grounds that the posts are thoughtful and well-written—which they are, undeniably. Moreover, I can engage with difficult subject matter while drunk, without the fear or anxiety, partly social anxiety, which often grips me otherwise.

My drunk writing is often good because of my increased sensitivity to some kinds of reasons, resulting in my ability to make superior intellectual arguments precisely because I am drunk. This is remarkable and cool, and at odds with the popular notion that drunkenness *only* makes people dumber-- even though it *partially* makes people dumber, which my proposed framework helps explain.

However, these facts mostly only justify writing the posts while drunk and then being willing to post them at *some* point—it does not justify *posting* them while drunk. When I post them while drunk, I either fail to justify this at all (impulsive), or I justify it on the grounds that I may be unwilling to post it later.

The fact that I may be unwilling to post it later requires a mixed response. On the one hand, the fact that I may be unwilling to post it later can also, obviously, be a strong reason *not* to post it-- because maybe my sober self knows better than to post it at all.

However, this is not a decisive reason against posting it. There have also been several occasions on which I made a drunk post which I’d have been unwilling to post while sober, but which I was glad to have posted. On those occasions, my drunk self indeed knew better than my sober self. It would be foolish to deny there are some such cases.

Nevertheless, I increasingly think it is overall a bad gamble. The occasions on which I regret drunk-posting outnumber and outweigh the occasions on which drunk-posting is the right answer. I can get *most* (sadly not all) of the benefits of drunk-posting by simply drunk-writing, and then re-reading & posting my thoughts when sober *later*.

Tonight I will get drunk, and I will try not to post on social media. I am about to begin drinking. If you see me posting on here after *this* post, I’ll be drunk or on my way to drunk. Hopefully I will not post while drunk this time. Or if I do, I will be more self-aware about the risks of it. My current plan is that, whenever I feel like posting something, I will simply write it down instead—and post it another day.

A final wrinkle: I took *one* drink, and then made final edits to this post, improving the post a good deal ( ...I think). Now I will stop posting and drink more, and hopefully write more but not post it until sober later.

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onwhatcaptain · 10 months

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Predictions for Star Trek Strange New Worlds S2 E5 "Charades"

Ahead are my predictions for the upcoming Star Trek SNW episode "Charades." Possible spoilers below the line since I am making specific guesses.

We've been told that the episode is a comedy, so I worry a bit. Mainly because when the SNW writers get their hands on a comedy concept, character integrity can go out the window. This is just my current take on SNW, it may change. But the showrunners have said that they want to see more comedy and that the story takes precedence over what's been written before them. When it comes to how they write for Spock, it can be hit or miss. In my opinion, it's usually a miss, because they prefer to focus on Spock's comedic angles and this relegates his actual characterization and identity struggles to an afterthought. And it's not that playing it safe is the answer, either. Last week's E4 played it safe, which I'll get to in another review, and found itself weaker for it for a few reasons, even though I liked it in general.

What makes me have low hopes is that the Star Trek writers implied that a bowl cut is a genetic trait in the trailers so far. I think that saying removing Spock's Vulcan DNA makes him change his hair, or be prone to eating bacon and forgetting how to be a Vulcan is a bit stupid. Yeah, maybe his digestive system normally can't eat bacon so he could now, but his Vulcan behaviors and beliefs are not biological. Vulcans are the way they are because of a set of philosophical choices and cultural norms. The only thing missing should be his telepathy and ability to control emotions/shielding. That's kind of the point of Spock's struggle with his identity. A fanfiction writer would absolutely recognize that, which makes me wonder if the writers don't, or are willing to disrespect the character integrity for comedy, and in my personal opinion, both are bad choices.

Vulcans are vegetarian on principle (they even used to eat meat) and may have consequently evolved to have a digestive system that rejects meat. Many humans are like this, too. My younger sibling is a vegetarian. If they woke up tomorrow as a carnivorous alien, they would still not want to eat bacon, unless their identity was changed too. And then they wouldn't be my younger sibling, they'd simply be a carnivorous alien that looks like my sibling. It stands to reason, therefore, that having your DNA changed wouldn't make you a meat eater.

That's sort of WHY Spock has a dual identity and rejects one constantly—because it's not genetic, there's norms that pressure him. It's what makes scenes like TOS' "The Naked Time" so valuable ("When I feel friendship for you, I'm ashamed.") That's cultural conditioning. It's not genetic. It's so central to Spock as a character that when he dies, he reaffirms he feels friendship, because it's been hard for him to get to that point. To say this is genetic is cheapening it. So I hope they'll address this adequately and not just chalk everything about his identity to his biology, because that's weak character concept. So if you're going to do this, I ask that you give us an actual reason for Spock to eat bacon and say "fuck." Just don't tell us he's like this because they removed his "DNA." Michael Burnham had a whole thing about how she was raised Vulcan as a human, and was alienated by her peers. And Sybok is an emotional Vulcan.

Anyways, what is charades? It's a game where you act out a phrase without speaking. I assume there will be a sort of tongue in cheek attempt at trying to fix Spock (superficially) and make him seem more Vulcan in time, along with them actually putting fake ears on the man. Actually, they'll probably have Chapel give him the temporary genetic change like they did in the very first ever episode of SNW (the one that made him scream in pain- is this why he's screaming in the trailer or is my boy just having a bad time?)

Anyways, if it were like a bit of My Fair Lady (or Pygmalion) that would be kind of fun. Or perhaps a Comedy of Errors type beat. What I hope they do not mean is for Charades to be a meta reference to Star Trek mimicking its own tropes. Eventually it becomes self referential and that can be tired.

We know he's relatively recently engaged to T'Pring, so maybe this is his engagement party or the Vulcan equivalent. Vulcans have a lot of traditions rooted in their past. I expect we'll see a bit of push and pull between Spock's feelings towards T'Pring and Chapel. I expect T'Pring will demonstrate she cares for him and this may somehow draw him away from Chapel, since we know that doesn't last. Amok Time doesn't tell us much about their history, so it would make sense if T'Pring's family is exerting intense Vulcan norms on him, and she defends Spock for who he is. I think we deserve to see that from T'Pring and we deserve that kind of demonstration of Spock's identity struggle.

I kind of get the sense Captain Pike is mostly going to stand around being in hot Captain dad mode because he's wearing the green shirt. Calling it. He seems more like he's actually playing host to the Vulcan get together, even though he's ship Captain. Maybe Pike'll cover for Spock while he is eating bacon and saying fuck.

Spock's mom is going to be hot. This is not a prediction. It's a fact.

I think by the end Spock is going to be comprehending his feelings a bit more and getting clarity because he lacks the ability to simply bury them as a human. And maybe this somehow sets the stage for his emotional maturity and the person he'll become by the time Kirk is Captain.

I really think the Chapel tension resolves here. After all, there are no real stakes. We know the ending. We know there's nothing in the way to threaten that. Star Trek's storytelling is constrained by itself. So the stakes are going to be just the "will they won't they" between Spock and Chapel, which I personally don't like anyway. I would think a reasonable resolution is for Spock to realize that all the deep emotions he's feeling are those of platonic love. It would make sense to say that he didn't really understand the difference between romantic and platonic love because Chapel has very strong feelings and he's never had close friends or romantic love before. His engagement to T'Pring is not born of love. I could see Spock outright saying to Chapel something like "I now know that I care deeply for you. And know I know that I do have a lot of feelings for you: as a friend." It would do them both justice and give Chapel the ability to grow as a character outside of the romance tension.

Ultimately I think Chapel might get sidelined for Spock to get development time with Jim Kirk and Uhura. Ten episodes gives them so little time to show us relationships. And that's not the fault of Chapel's character. I believe she needs more substance still. She's a vast improvement from her 60's counterpart but I think she's still not particularly well written. I assume she pursues her two month archaeological project on Vulcan and gets with her canon partner, Roger Korby. I think she'll take that up by the end of the season and we'll hear more about it by the end of episode 8.

Strange New Worlds often spends more time telling us it is Star Trek than being Star Trek and I think ultimately this episode will be like that. The show falls victim to itself on occasion. I do like SNW and I love Star Trek, but I suppose I'm a bit of a cynic. If they were a bit more brave and a little less reliant on pandering to the mainstream and the endless belief that the modern audience needs love life drama in the form of people who behave just like 21st century people, they'd be better for it.

It would also be quite meaningful if the crew were to decide that they prefer Spock how he really is as a person. Let's see.

As for the literal plot resolution, I'm curious about how this'll happen. The plot concept is kind of weird to begin with. Aliens removed his DNA? Maybe they send Chapel and Ortegas (an experienced pilot and has some tension with her also) to go again and try replicating the conditions under which the change to Spock happened or try to contact the aliens. After all, why did they remove the DNA in the first place? Maybe they just talk to the aliens and they're like, "Oh, my bad, we thought he was upset by being Vulcan. It was causing him pain. We'll put it back." And then they restore him, shields and all, and he's the most Vulcan he's ever been. Maybe they just find a contrived cure. It really could go any way.

Okay, that's all for this week.

#star trek #snw #st: snw #strange new worlds #star trek strange new worlds #erica ortegas #spock #t'pring #amok time #amanda grayson #ethan peck #captain pike #vulcans

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