#i fucking hate this whole situation

[a-girl-named-fran]

Corporate America's background check processes make me feral

#fran complains #i fucking hate this whole situation #i just want a job that will pay me semi decently so i don't end up homeless #is that so much to ask for?

[cinnamonrollsledge]

Masters of the Air + Text Posts & Headlines Screencaps from @itstheheebiejeebies

#omg yikes i had the wrong like this whole time #masters of the air #hbo war #mota #buck cleven #gale cleven #john egan #bucky egan #rosie rosenthal #robert rosenthal #buck x bucky #bucky x buck #MOTA text post #mota spoilers #masters of the air spoilers #mine #do they have a ship name? #creating a tag for these in case i end up making more #i always say i'm done and then i get more ideas so.... #I’m sorry about that badly injured man one 😭😭 #not trying to make light of the situation obvs #*link fuck I hate not being able to edit tags on mobile #mine: text post memes

[arnaerr]

My current job situation is still shit, and the whole gamedev industry in big shit as well rn, so I still can't find a new job and I have no savings left. It all means that I will probably open commissions again in May-June, stay tuned 🫡

If you can buy my prints/buy me a coffee, it would help a lot!

#personal #i fucking hate this whole situation and that i have to ask for $ like this #i regret pursuing the career in gamedev thats all i can say

[basuralindo]

So I was asked to expand on the whole Jamil having a trauma response to Leona comment on my last post, aaand here's that.

(This pertains to chapter 6 btw, so spoiler warning)

(also it's very much sleep deprived rambling so sorry if it's, well, rambly)

First off, I'm operating under the assumption that he has cPTSD. Jamil has clearly been programmed since birth to always obey the Asims and act in their best interests, even at the expense of his own life. This is a boy who has been forced to eat poison to protect them and their assets, who's family was forced to let that happen, and who has been so desperate his entire life to escape that situation that he was willing to resort to murder and doom not just himself but his whole family which he is implied to care about. Which means if simply quitting was an option, he would have done so. So, you kinda have to infer that he and his family don't have a choice in this role, and there are severe enough consequences for disobedience that fucking up or refusing is a worse option than risking a slow painful death every time Kalim wants to eat something. And this is all stuff that's been depicted blatantly in canon, not even touching on the assumptions that could be made from there.

So that's the position Jamil is in. That is a traumatic situation. This is a guy who has been groomed for servitude and obedience since he was old enough to talk. These kinds of circumstances absolutely can lead someone to be triggered into subservience or other trained behaviors. That's just, a thing with trauma.

Now, with the Asims being one of if not THE most powerful merchant families in their country, one of the expectations of Jamil as their servant and especially as the attendant to their heir is to ensure good relationships with other rich and powerful families, especially royalty. This was shown in the fireworks event, where he states that as a prince, if Malleus came to any harm under his watch while a guest of the Asims, it could start an international conflict. These are incredibly high stakes, a misstep on Jamil's part could ruin the Asim family and potentially even endanger his country, and it's pretty strongly implied that he and his family would take the blame and suffer the consequences. Now, much like how wearing a company logo while at work makes your actions representative of your employer, Jamil serving the Asims 24/7 (and especially as the chaperone of their heir) means that he is representing their family At All Times. This is why he is forced to defer to Kalim in all aspects of life even outside of their country, part of his job is to make his employers look good, and there are consequences for not doing so. This means that anyone of high enough status to be significant to the Asims is someone who Jamil is required to be subordinate to.

Then, enter Leona. As a wealthy prince, he would be someone who Jamil is expected maintain good relations with at any cost to himself. With his position Leona could literally destroy Jamil's (and probably his family's) entire life with a single complaint to the Asims about his conduct. Like, he could do that with no actual cause just for fun, because the Asims are 100% going to take the side of a prince over an expendable servant. This means that one misstep or any backtalk from Jamil puts him at massive risk, it is entirely up to Leona whether or not he suffers for any of these actions, and while the audience knows Leona's personal morals would prevent him from actually doing that, Jamil does not.

THEREFORE (sorry this ended up so long), once Jamil was in a life threatening situation with Leona, it seems likely that all this programming and fear would manifest in desperately trying to protect him and follow orders the way he's always done for Kalim. To me, the way he snapped into bodyguard mode, and immediately complied with every one of Leona's bitchy commands (like giving him a hair ornament to throw away without question, and barely saying anything about it after), even while being humiliated and knowing he was less trained in magic, just comes off more like a trigger response than anything. Especially because I can't imagine that situation not being triggering, and I can't imagine him knowing any other way to respond.

#jamil viper #leona kingscholar #jamil ptsd analysis #twst #this is also why I got so pissed about leona's behavior in that chapter #like I do genuinely like his character. he's one of my favorites and I get where he was coming from #but boy was being ignorant as all fuck #like jamil is so heavily implied to be an indentured servant #and leona could probably buy his whole family #there's no version of 'i know what it's like to feel overlooked. suck it up and work with what you've got' advice #that could benefit Jamil from this guy #because changing your attitude and putting in the work doesn't free you from a situation like that #and I can only assume that coming from a free country in the modern world #Leona just hasn't considered that Jamil would BE in a situation like that. it's not exactly normal #and this is the guy so out of touch he thought Ruggie's home was a doghouse. so I mean. giving him the benefit of the doubt on this #but goddamn was that out of touch. and I just hate how they wrote the conclusion between them #not the intended subject when i wrote this. but tagging it as #leojami #for the small steps crowd in case they get curious about what else i have to say on them?? #i feel like some of the thoughts from this post are gonna be playing into the story

[ickypuppi3]

neil doing his whole “respect and responsibility” thing as if neil and susan didn’t leave billy to look after max as if neil and susan don’t leave billy to look after max all the time as if neil and susan weren’t three hours late as if neil didn’t call billy a slur as if neil didn’t hit a seventeen year old billy for ‘not looking after’ a thirteen year old who shouldn’t even be his responsibility in the first place

#the way i just hate neil sm #neil hargrove #billy hargrove #susan mayfield #in that specific scene billy did nothing wrong #it’s not debatable #that was not his fault #every time i remember billy said three hours late it’s like ?? that’s actually fucked #the whole situation was so so unfair #like i hate and love that scene because i hate what happens but it’s gotta be one of my favourite scenes because it’s just so good #it’s actually so well portrayed #so well acted #like it’s so accurate and uncomfortable

[xxc0mp4ctd1scxx]

I wish that who uses only "she/her" or "he/him" referring to Mizu kinda get the drip that Mizu isn't neither a man nor a woman.

That whoever is using only one of these pronouns is actually seeing that Mizu is kinda beyond gender shit, and any other category.

So when using those are all in a genderqueer/genderfuck way. When calling them girlfriend or man or bf is in an ironic way.

I really wish I'm not seeing people thinking Mizu is a woman just bc they are AFAB or bc "this trope is ant-women" terf's shit. Cuz I guarantee that Mulan (1998) and Blue Eye Samurai (2023) aren't being feminist in a simple "We Can Do It, too" way, but rather "See, gender roles are stupid and fuck you if you think that genderqueer people don't exist and people are only MAN or WOMAN."

Man, I really hate when people look at a genderqueer story and think only in binary. Adult Mizu could have been a woman if they really were one, cuz the point of they being perseved as a boy was only to be more difficult to find them as a kid, when their mom couldn't protect them with her hands or power, cuz she had none.

I think that when they were in the wife role, they weren't really performing it as a woman, but more like a duty commonly attributed to wife (more like my father being the cook in the house and a really good caretaker who is really considering and cute, and also being the dad figure, when my mom is in the finances business of the house and isn't the best caretaker of all times...) and for they mom respect and consideration, cuz they loved her and wanted to show their love, retributing by marry that guy.

But they were rejected by their mom and their husband, when being their own singular self. When showing they weren't the wife, neither the woman people thought they should be.

Yes, they suit a masc appearance and mannerisms, but it seem dehonest to call them a man. They really don't perform a man image.

Just like non binary transmasc or butches... We aren't really men just bc we are mascs. And we aren't really, by the book, women, solely by the fact we are AFAB.

Why? Cuz it is just like that. Gender isn't the binary we were thought and I wish everyone a really good search and thinking on genderqueer thesis and documents, already documented discussions and a read on "Butch Blues", a watch on "Tomboy", etc.

#blue eye samurai #queer discourse #more like #queer rant #cuz im pissed fearing people are missreading the whole show #just bc Mizu is genderfucking around not giving a single shit about the binary #only doing what makes sense and (i also thinking) better suits and easy theirself in their skin #they wear a binder for fucks sake #it cant be thay they are binary #neither Mulan really was binary to be honest #look at how the movie ended #they weren't shouting “Im a binary woman human being” #they werent denying the improviment on self-realization that they had #also they were seemed to be kinda ok and enjoying it #not like “oh fuck I really hate being in this situation. being persived as a man” #fuck you if you dont agree #by the “but is better to be a men” logic trans women and transfem nonbinary people wouldn't fucking exist #soo fuuuuuck youuuuuu #im really not in to a discussion #this is my statement #not an invitation #if you disagree bc you think those points im criticizing are right #and you also want to talk??? #i just want to punch you in the face you fucking transphobe #this is no discussion #and stop invalidating queer people's history. lives and ownselfs #fuck you #mizu

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

I don't think I've ever really cared about shipping in my life. I'm generally just cool to go with the flow. If something is written well or drawn well then I'm for it.

But I will say. The DC writers trying to push Jon/Irey and Damian/Irey tire me. I am not impressed with the dynamics going on there and the idea of Irey being in the middle of a love triangle is contrived and upsetting.

I felt safe before because Irey is 9, Jon is an adult with a boyfriend and Damian is a teenager. DC wouldn't let that happen. I knew the shipping going on behind the scenes but everything was fine. It couldn't happen.

But then we got alt universe Supersons. The same age as Irey. And Irey blushing at them.

Suddenly everything was very much not okay.

Again, I'm generally cool with whatever but I'm putting my fucking foot down at this one.

No.

I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD.

NO.

#i will fucking fight people on this one #NO #JFC NO #because i know Adams' end game here. He hinted at future Irey being married to Damian and they have that whole bickering thing going on rn #and Jon and Irey have that whole crush situation and im like ?????? fucking NO #look. Irey does not exist to be a love interest. she is nine years old. and she certainly doesn't need to be in a fucking love triangle #ALSO NO! SHES NOT MARRYING A BAT!! #ARGH #let her exist because shes a child and then eventually (when the time is right) she can have her first crush on Tai as god intended #its not hard #Irey in the future was all 'teehee. dad you hate my husband' and im just... this is the only goddamn time i condone a shovel talk #but like... follow through Wally. follow through with the goddamn threats. erase that mother fucker from existence #im physically ill at the thought of that marriage

[nordfjording]

have you considered that the flavour might be the fuckng problem

#i fucking hate the whole gotcha thing that comes with not liking onions and garlic #the 'oh but you ate that thing i gave you and there was onion in it and you couldnt tell so you DO actually like it ;)' #of course i tasted the fucking onion but heres the thing i am a grown ass adult and adulthood means sometimes #doing things you hate with a straight face like dude im just trying to get through my day over here #if that means putting the veggie equivalent of cat piss in my mouth then well. situations are temporary.

[laesas]

did you ever make a post about pete not liking tankhun ? i know you mentioned it a few times in your tags but i don't remember seeing a post. (i share your opin ions.)

I definitely toyed with the idea of meta or a gifset but I didn't ever make a full post! I love unrequited love and I ESPECIALLY love the extremely rare platonic version which Tankhun and Pete absolutely nail in my opinion!

There are loads of moments where Pete's smile drops around Tankhun very quickly, or he insults Tankhun behind his back. Instead of laughing things off like Arm and Pol, he almost has a wincing fear-response to Tankhun, which we don't really see at all from the other bodyguards.

I think that Tankhun likes to think of himself as being close friends with his bodyguards, and he does genuinely show a lot of open affection for Pete and eventually concern for his safety. But I think ultimately for Pete, Tankhun is just a part of Pete's job, and over time resentment has built up until he thinks of Tankhun as one of the *worst* parts of it. I definitely don't think he resents Tankhun enough to hurt or endanger him, but that's about as far as it goes, there's certainly very little love there.

Something about that dynamic is just particularly brilliant, especially when combined with Pete's eventual defection from Tankhun's side to Vegas'. He chooses a man who has beaten and tortured him over a man who showers him in affection and throws parties on his return.

I utterly adore Tankhun but I think as a character that's grown up in a gilded cage, he doesn't really understand that what Pete needs is a sense of his own autonomy rather than being dragged to "fun" "lets cheer up Pete" parties that Tankhun has demanded on his behalf. At least with Vegas he *chose* to go back, he handed Vegas the ropes, let him lock him back up again. Even before he develops feelings for Vegas, Pete has clearly felt like a subhuman pet for Tankhun and the main family for a long, long time and I think ironically Vegas acknowledging Pete's humanity is the tipping point for him.

I think even without their nascent romantic love as a factor, Pete would always choose Vegas. Because despite the threat of suffering, he offers a sense of freedom that Tankhun's gilded cage does not. It all makes for an incredibly interesting betrayal, and makes Pete choosing Vegas over Tankhun all the more pointed. By choosing to be Vegas' pet, he chooses to be human.

#I have had this gifset concept rattling round my brain since before I even learned to make gifs #if I didn't have so many complicated feelings about Pete after the whole Build situation I'd make it in a heartbeat tbh #my worry is that it would either be taken as a ''hating on Pete'' set and I'd get mad shit for it in my inbox #(despite it being one of my fave facets of his character) #or it would be interpreted as a ''Build's acting appreciation!'' post which tbf it kinda would be. #theres no getting away from the fact that he shaped Pete into a very interesting and nuanced character #but you wouldn't catch me dead making a ''Captain Jack Sparrow appreciation'' set even if I loved POTC as much as KPTS yknow? #like theres only so much distance I can split the character from the actor. which sucks bc Pete as a character was one of my favourites #idk. probably not the ideal answer lol #my first instict was to just make the set since it was all planned out from like december #but since January my love for Pete as a character has mostly been in a little box on a high shelf that I do not ever touch. which is sad #but it is what it is ig #anyway lol 👀 #tankhun theerapanyakul #pete kp #tankhun kp #kp meta #ask #anon #watch me deliberately not putting that shit in the pete tag out of fear #anyway back on the high shelf you go little pete feelings. lets go back to simply not acknowledging u once more lol 🥲✨ #goddamn I deliberately hadnt thought about him in months but now I kinda miss Pete... :( I love this ask though thank u for sending it! 🦔✨ #damn rereading this its like girl. do you have an unrequited love for commas?? fucking use them?? :) anywaY #kpts

[talkethtothehandeth]

I hope everyone who is angry with/makes fun of the Delta passenger for having uncontrollable explosive diarrhea on the crowded plane shits their pants multiple times throughout the rest of the year

#tw poop #delta air lines #chronic illnesses and random accidents are uncontrollable #it’s so fucking embarrassing to have GI issues let alone on a whole plane #it isn’t their fault at all and it’s so disgusting to see people say they should’ve done better #the things I see people say about the situation reminds me sm that i definitely hate ableds #gi issues #gastrointestinal issues #chronic illness #ibs #cripple punk

[lesbiansanemi]

I am so fucking sick of living with my roommate and his fuck ass boyfriend. Also watching my roommate burn every single one of his (already rather minimal, I might add) bridges for this guy is also kind of painful but also his relationship with me is one of said bridges so I'm almost past the point of even feeling bad for him lmao

#i have had to piss for probably the better part of an hour now #because they decided to take a shower together and have been in there for well OVER an hour now #and this is a nightly occurence atp sometimes MULTIPLE times a day #we have one bathroom.... can yall not be considerate enough to not be in there for up to TWO HOURS AT A TIME??? #also it's such a waste of fucking water.... #idk we've hit a point where i literally hear the bf doing anything and i get pissed off #but also tell me why i'm sitting in my room (which shares a wall with the bathroom) and i can hear this man hacking and spitting shit up #and this is also something that happens multiple times a day #like.... dude.... why are you spitting up toothpaste so fucking loudly oh my fucking god #but yeah no i'm like my roommate's only friend atp and he's about to not have me lmao like we're about to reach #'i'm cutting you off when i move out' levels of me being pissed off with this whole situation type shit #and apparently the bf convinced him to come out to his family which his mom was chill which is good #his dad's side of the family though....? not great. and my roommate KNEW that would be the case cuz we'd talked about it before #also love that my roommate has constantly talked about moving out of the city we live in because he hates and also there's no good career #opportunities for him here (which is true) #and now. MAGICALLY. he's like 'idk i think it'd be best for me to stay here' #like oh my GOD???? are you hearing yourself???? are you fucking stupid???? you fucking hate it here??? #but sure throw your life away and ruin all your meaningful relationships for a guy you met six months ago jfc #and the thing is i *know* my roommate we've been close CLOSE friends for nearly a decade now #i know he is not like this.... like yeah he's being insane by allowing this but also i know these aren't the kinds of decisions he would ma #and also i know he wouldn't treat me like this all on his own #it's the deranged fucking control freak of a guy he decided to date and my roommate has too many of his own issues to put his foot down #about certain things and tell the guy no so he's just allowing him to completely take over his life #and fuck everything up until the bf is the only thing he has left once it's all said and done #and yeah. it's painful to watch. but also wtf am i supposed to do because obviously my opinion is not respected nor wanted regarding this #that has been made PAINFULLY clear #ugh this is so fucking horrendous #what is it with ppl who start to date someone and then go clinically fucking insane and destroy their lives all for this one person #who. realistically. they barely know in comparison to all the other ppl in their life #like explain it to me jfc

[willosword]

literally all they had to do to get me attached to mark grayson was give him permanent eyebags huh 😔

#GRRRRRGR I GET CUTENESS AGGRESSION WHEN I LOOK AT HIM NOW. #willow whispers #invincible #btw incoming tag rant his whole situation in s2 is so tragically fucked up 2 me #bc he's terrified of turning out like his dad but.. he still needs to grieve?? and express his emotions?? #like any perfectly normal outburst or display of anger is just gonna affirm mark's worst fears. even tho he should be allowed to be angry #and even in s1 he was alarmingly prone to catastrophizing in a self hate-y kinda way. horribly insecure lil man. #so like. i don't see this season going well for him at ALL.. a bit scared for girliepop not gonna lie

[thedanceronthestreets]

I genuinely don't think straight people can even begin to grasp how upsetting the homophobia in the ted lasso fandom is starting to become. It's coming from all sides: casual viewers i speak to in real life who laugh in my face when i mention the possibility of any of the main characters being queer ("there's more than enough gay stuff with colin being there", "you're making the keeley stuff up she's obviously straight cause she's with roy"), people on the internet saying "who even is this colin guy?" after him being on the show for 3 seasons or "baz doesn't need to be gay as well, stop making everybody gay". And this is about the show that's all about be true to yourself! Be curious not judgemental! Be kind! This show managed to curate that kind of audience. It all just feels so fucking impossible sometimes.

#i honestly think ted lasso is gonna fail the vito russo test #cause the potential queer characters they seem to have set up for a queer storyline (excluding keeley cause she'll end up with roy/jamie) #are all minor side characters #and people will be able to skip their isolated 2 minute scenes and just watch the rest of the show uninterrupted #and if the shwo does pass the test then the situation in the fandom is gonna get really fucking nasty #which is fine cause queer people are used to that #i know i say this with ⅔ of the season still ahead of us but then again that means i've seen 7/9 of the whole show #and i don't seem the earnestly turning this thing around in a meaningful way #and as i said even if they do against all odds then the fandom will turn into fight club #meaning queer fans are gonna be the target of hate either way #ted lasso spoilers #just realised how many typos there are in the tags so please ignore that i was Ranting <3

[twpsyn-who]

Talking a little bit about 'boycotting Eurovision' under Keep Reading, feel free to scroll down if is not what you want to see.

The most used argument on the matter of banning Israel from Eurovision is the fact that Russia got banned from Eurovision, which is the worst argument anyone could bring.

Kindly reminder that Russia didn't get banned because of the war with Ukraine. Russia got banned because many countries has threatened to withdraw from the competition. Sadly, that's a big difference.

Yes, the countries has threatened to withdraw because they support Ukraine and see Russia as the party in the wrong. That was their reason. EBU's reason for banning Russian was because those countries threatened to withdraw, not because the war was bad and Russia must be stopped.

This situation isn't the same. Why? Because many countries support Israel in their genocide. Because this time around Palestine is the party in the wrong. Because we're taught to believe that Israel isn't in the wrong here.**

Boycotting Eurovision won't work. There are people out there who don't know the truth and want to watch Eurovision. There are people out there who don't care and will watch Eurovision regardless of the situation. There are people out there who, despite having the facts, still don't see Israel as the bad guy in this situation and will watch Eurovision. Sadly, boycotting won't work unless everyone does it.

The only way Israel will get banned, in my opinion, is by going through the same thing as Russia. If other countries threatened to withdraw- and not any countries, but the ones investing the most in Eurovision, then yes. That will get Israel banned.

Otherwise? The only thing we do is hurt artists that don't deserve it. Artists who use Eurovision as a way to get more exposure and experience. Artists who deserve to be heard.

Don't vote for Israel's entry. Don't stream their song either. Heck, turn off the TV when is their turn to perform.

**This whole situation (the war, not Eurovision) isn't only black and white. Civilians die daily because of this, all of them from both sides. Innocent people who has no fault. Let's not forget that

#Honestly I'm tired of the whole 'Russia got banned Israel should be banned too' speech because is truly bullshit #It has nothing to do with the war per se. It was because countries were unwilling to participate in support for Ukraine #If the whole situation was truly political then other countries wouldn't be able to participate either #Is it fair? No. But that's the situation #Alas Eurovision exist so we forget about the bad in the world for a bit and be more united. Have some fun. Stuff like that #I'm going to get so much hate over this omg. But this is just my opinion/point of view on the matter #Sadly this whole situation isn't even about helping the innocent put in danger by this situation. Is about hate like everything else #My wording is so shitty but people on the internet don't understand shit unless I call 'X bad Y good' so we go with that #eurovision 2024 #Also another reminder that THE WHOLE AUDIENCE chanted 'Cha Cha Cha' during eurovision 2023 and were rotting for Finland to win just to lose #Many entries got fucked up by the jury votes too. Our opinion doesn't matter as much as some of you might think lol #Jury votes GOT CHANGED during another eurovision under shitty reasons (I can't remember which year but there were 5 or 6 countries who got #their votes changed). Eurovision has never been fair #We always get annoyed over it and trash talk it then watch it the next year #Also this is not the same as boycotting brands and shit like that who support Israel. No money go from Eurovision to Israel. #This competition as far as I am aware (please correct me if I'm wrong) doesn't support Israel in any way #Be it financially or by donating arms or any other way #Their only fault is for allowing Israel to participate. That's all #Weapons* don't ask me why I said arms instead sorry #i'm tired lol #Fair warning I won't answer any replies to this post

[dwtdog]

.

#sorry for feeling vindicated in this situation but #that fuckass smp literally fucked over drm and ppl in the fandom #this isn’t some unrelated thing where we’re just jumping in a hate train lawl #obviously all power to the admins who weren’t being paid like holy shit that sucks and i hope they’re properly compensated #and the whole bit about protecting abusers is FUCKED

[wizardnuke]

miss the early days of my tma listen when i was conspiracy theorizing and genuinely freaking out about michael distortion appearances. michael went craazy he is SO scary to me

#was passionately talking about this the other day #michael is barely an avatar. obviously he is but the issue is that he didn't like.. fall into it like so many of the others #he wasn't predisposed to anything in particular he wasn't introduced to the fears thru falling into them #like. avatars are most often drawn towards their domain. one way or another. jon wanted to understand. martin was lonely. etc. #michael was completely unaware. wrong place wrong time. and i mean that checks for spiral but you get what i mean #one day he was normal human michael abroad with his boss and the next he was an avatar he was Barely acceptable and that. that is why #the spiral got him but it's also why he was nuclear levels of batshit insane on top of being spiral #even helen makes sense. Extremely Normal Person who got baited in by michael - she overpowered him bc she was still like #somewhat normal in the head just in terms of awareness of whats going on #michael wasn't. michael was out of his goddamn mind. past the whole spiral situation he was part avatar and part victim moreso than a #lot of other avatars and that's why he was Like That. PLUS he worked at the institute and had a serious hatred for it #and i mean think spiral=psychosis=paranoia and him stalking first sasha then jon #but. such a good fucking character to kind of lead in the situation. here is a spiral of the avatar that you have to handle while you're #putting all the pieces together. he is extremely confusing. this is not because he is also confused but it is a part of it #he is not mindless but he is out of his mind. more than helen. more than any other avatar because he was grafted into the picture #while most avatars fall into it. here is the beginning of the end. he worked at the institute just like you. he is insane. more insane #than a spiral avatar should be. he is Weird and Wrong and he toys with people because he is angry. #poor jon's trying to understand the bigger picture and the best piece that he has is literally like a shattered mirror of a man #that hates him so fucking much #and that's all he had to work with. for so long. #poor sasha. had to try to explain an encounter with the spiral of all things. an avatar of the spiral that barely understood himself. #u get what i mean. #also the fact that he is SO fucked up. in design and how he acts. he's SO scary. rabid angry thing. #something abt helen psychically overpowering michael bc hes a fluke vs jon straight up stabbing elias bc he's like an avatar supersoldier #*tangled in red string tripping over a corkboard* michael and jon are mirrors. yes the mirror is distorted. yes that is the entire point #thee michael distortion. distorted. grafted into the spiral when its ritual imploded. even weirder and wronger than an avatar of the #spiral should be because he wasn't supposed to be one at all. poor fit. and then the avatar-victim jon licherally stabbing elias #narrative foils. impossible ultra freak of nature n his rage. and a skin graft of every single fear. with a knife. and his rage