#i just need to knooow pls | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lisalanderrr · 1 year

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I wish i could drop out, this is my first year at collage but i am already hating it. Studying for the sake of my parents. Dumbest thing ever. Also its not like a great school, or a major that i want. I would prefer working as a server for 4 years instead of going uni tbh. Not that i am seeing being a server is something like low or anything. It makes money. It dosnt waste my time like these stupid classes, i am not even social so uni is not worth for me. But why cant i just drop? Idk i feel like a such an dissapointment at the moment. Getting shamed from family doesnt help. Iwould rather work and study on improving my art. I hate this, i hate wasting my time that i dont care, i hate that i have to satisfy my family, and caring so much about what people think. It just not for me. I can wait to get out of family house, but i also feel bad leaving them. Living in a third world country makes you feel like this. I wish i could live a life like my pears around the world. Ok i sound like i complain a lot but its true. Its deprressing living like this, especially when you see people on internet living their life, its hard to not compare.not being able to afford anything, even tho you work, you will make 10$ for a whole day. Yeeyy, working for 2 months just to afford and iphone 11. What about food? Rent? Going out? No, these are luxury for us. Thats why i gotta work hard. Leave this country. Hopeless youth. Thats what i am. This is so loser shit omfg but i cant hellppppp pls. I hate even writing these it sounds pethatic. What i am rrying to say is I HATE SCHOOL, THE SYTSEM, WHOLE THING ABOUT EDUATION SYSTHEM. WHY IT COMSUME SO MUCH TIME? GOD THINGS I WOULD DO TO WORK AS AN WAITER IN US. OR ANYTHING.I WANNA LEAVE THIS FUCKED UP PLACE BEHIND BUT I KNOOOW I KNOW, anyways,I wanted to go US for work and travel but ofc i couldnt, its so expensive. 5k$??! I mean who can pick out 5k from their ass its expensive for everybody but its impossible for me. But i am sick and tired of waiting for miracle to happen. No one gonna save you girl. Like kali uchi said “ if you need a herooo, JuSt loOk in tHe mirrOrrrr” this so cheese but it is what it is. Save yourself girl. I am not badass boss bitch actully. I wish i was. But i feel like one the more i age. I am not that insecure the way i was when i was in highschool.I shouldnt feel shame for feeling theese.i feel bad talking like this tho.i am complaining about my life but my parents didnt have anything either. Worked for their entire life, no vacation, no trip, no resting, all for living like this. This feeling is so heavy on my shoulders, i have to make eneough money so i can make them live. I have to take care of them. Seeing them getting old kills me. So i feel like i gotta hurry up and find something and make money. idk why i am writing this, i just need to talk but there isnt anybody that i can talk about this topic so i rant on my tumblr. Plss i need a friend so badd. will delete this but no one sees it anyways so itdoesnt matter. Getting into this depression hole is pretty easy and get caught up with it, i am not an optimist person, but i have to try atleast, fake it until make it. These are my thoughts, just wrote what came to my mind, jumped one topic to other

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kangyeosaang · 3 years

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yeosang · answer : ode to joy · kingdom 210527

#ateezedit #ateez #yeosang #kang yeosang #ateezgif #edits #i know i knooow pls dont look at me like that #i just needed to have this in 540 bc #this move >>>>>>#anywaaaay #he pretty #tempted to make a header ngl

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gaydroidd · 2 years

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I feel like I'm missing out on something I've been waiting to happen for over a year now. I'm so happy people finally realize how great this game is. Cyberpunk finally gets the love it deserves but as someone who loved and defended this game since release I can't help but get sad about the fact that I couldn't be a part of the joy over the latest patch. I'm truly happy that so many people who've been playing this game for a long time finally got to experience the game how it should have been from the start. I just wish the ps4 players were a part of this.

#pls excuse my whining this is in no way meant to be against the people who can play it I'm glad so many people can experience it!#I'm just sad and need to vent a bit about what happened to the ps4 players 😩#I hope this get fixed soon #I knooow I may be overreacting but I'm probably not the only one who feels like this #The release of the remastered version of lis was already a huge disappointment I was just happy to get some good news from cp77 #cp2077 #cyberpunk 2077 #gaydroid52

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redxblueihateloveyou · 3 years

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Ok so I've been stalking your blog for the past couple of hrs after seeing your TadaAi posts (I'm drowning in the period drama that is this ship) and I find you ship Tododeku and rinharu (god i can't stand bakudeku and makoharu) and seems like we share a lot of our views on fandom and ships probably because we're older (I'm 22). Followed and looking forward to your input in the future!

Also you might've given me the motivation to finish watching Free! XD

Hehe yay, please, we need more ppl in our “house of oldies”, make yourself at home lol. And we share a lot of ships?! Even better <3

I knooow, I can’t believe we’ve got a gay “master who fell in love with his servant” ship in the anime, just what I needed for my idiotic collection lmao

But also these two have too much going on between them, so much wasted potential in my opinion, it’d be so interesting to explore (but sadly no xD), they were still the only interesting thing for me lolz. I love complicated morons, who became the victims of a huge unrequited requited love misunderstanding, bc they’re insecure morons lmao and they just have 2 of my fav ships vibes, so it’s probably mostly this haha.

Oh, I’m inputting *wink wink*, can’t wait to finish the vid, I’m having too much fun with it. I’ve just literally spent several minutes trying to get whether I’ve put Tadashi’s sexy mole in the right distance from his eye in the “him moaning on the table” manip lolz. What can I say... I picked the best hobby, with all the support I’m getting with my vids, I’m living a dream xD

You know, I think I’ve said it before, but when it comes to bakudeku, I at least understand what ppl hope to see there and why, but like.. it’s just not happenning. Also imagining Bakugou lovingly hugging Midoriya is just so OOC I start laughing all the time. And whatever ppl say, in any ship whether they’re enemies or rivals or anything, if you can’t imagine them being tender with each other, smth is not right in my opinion. Also once again, who needs idiotic bleating Midoriya, idk. I’m just tired of the endless “die, deku/out of my way” yelling, I like watching Bakugou going to parties and amusement parks and doing silly stuff, too. Like I’ve said before, pride won’t ever let him change the way he behaves with Midoriya, even when they’re doing “great”. If he was the one, it wouldn’t have mattered, no matter how tough you are, and it wouldn’t take that long. I also don’t think they’re that kind of relationship, like they move each other for sure, sometimes, yeah (not always in a good way tho), but be together in a relationships? Can’t imagine that. Like not all rivals have the rivals to lovers dynamic, no matter what ppl say. But I get the shipping, bc 1stly these two are playing too huge of a role in each other’s lives, 2ndly Midoriya is obsessed with him and Bakugou obsessed with him too (just in a bad way lmao) and 3rd ppl want that “enemies to lovers” dynamic, since many love it (me included, when it done right and progresses right), so they’re trying to write that “to lovers” bridge, that just doesn’t fit here in my opinion, simply bc Bakugou won’t be soft with Midoriya, like ever in a way, you’d want, and I don’t think it’s possible for them to go there.

Tododeku on the other hand, 1stly they also play too huge of a role in each other’s lives, 2ndly Midoriya is obsessed with him too and Todoroki is lovingly obsessed with him in return, 3rdly they are also rivals to lovers, and I have no problem imagining the second part, it won’t be OOC, 4thly Midoriya when he’s with Todoroki is my fav Midoriya, he’s happy, he is cocooned and he’s badass af (and like when he told Endeavor to fuck off or yelled at Todoroki “the fuck are u doing?” xD are still the best), 5thly Midoriya forgets about Bakugou, when he’s with Todoroki a lot and it’s just funny to me, 6thly they healed each other so nicely, I can’t not be into that, 7thly when they’re together I have like 0 worries, idk I’m like “he will catch him” anyways haha, Bakudeku just don’t give me this vibe. It’s like yeah, they won’t let each other die, but it’s always this chaos of “out of my way”, “I don’t want your help” and “let me punch you before I punch the villain” that I’m just “oh for god’s sake, pls bring in Kirishima and Todoroki so we could just go home, it could’ve been solved in 2 minutes” lmao. Etc, etc.

Tododeku just have too many winning points over bakudeku for me, same with kiribaku over bakudeku, even tho I 100% get bakudeku as a ship ofc. Also idk whether things would be different if Todoroki wouldn’t exist in the equation, but the moment I saw that s2 scene where Bakugou started yelling and Todoroki just ignored him and was like “was Midoriya always this good?”, there was no going back to me XD. Like they both obviously see that Midoriya is wonderful, but only one reacted to that in a way that I wanted. And I’m a sucker for the ships who don’t give a fuck and like “yeah, I find him amazing and everyone should know that”. Todoroki is also one of those guys, who if you give them the much needed love, they’ll return it tenfold with a forever devotion. And all of my fav ships are like that: Yullen, Rinharu, Mikayuu, Wangxian, Akakuro, etc. They’re like “well, I ain’t an idiot to let someone this precious go”, you know lol

On the other hand, when it comes to Kirishima, Bakugou can do all kind of ridiculous thing I wouldn’t imagine he would do to keep him or make him happy, you know. Kirishima is also the only one, who can put his arm around Bakugou without it being cut off, so I don’t make the rules here lol.

So it’s not like I can’t stand bakudeku, more of like can’t imagine this work, to me it’s easier to imagine todobaku in a relationships, but not bakudeku lolz.

But when it comes to makoharu, I just have a huge problem with it and I will never get it. Bc they don’t bring anything good in each other like AT ALL, I don’t even understand what kind of relationships this is from their shipper point of view; they give each other nothing, and one of them is totally in love with someone else and wants a future with him. And that someone also head over heals with him and also wants a future with him. And I hate how 99,9 % of mh fans don’t give a fuck about Haru or Rin whatsoever and just ignore their character’s everything. Bc Makoto. I’m also like if you love him so much, the fuck would you want him to be with Haru anyways, dude doesn’t reciprocate, like at all. I’m at confusion, like name good points of this ship and what good can they do for each other characteristically. There is none, it’s like a damn swamp. Like usually I can give my notp some points, but this is like... they’re both no good for each other... like... why would anyone even want this idk. Don’t tell me “for the childhood friends” one-sided dynamic, like why won’t you also ship Shion with Safu then, like even he seemed more invested in that, than Haru in makoharu lol.

Even if you think of them from the point of view of “the two who are always walking together” ships, that are everywhere nowdays (even tho since Haru moved to Tokyo, he was always with Asahi instead), but even if... those kind of ships are usually at least make each happy and are enough for each other. Haru on the other hand, when he doesn’t have Rin, he is walking with Makoto like a ghost, not even caring if he’s talking next to him AND he’s getting ennoyed by him. Like explain, how someone’s shipping them romantically. It’s been showed like 20 times, that with Rin, but without Makoto, he can be perfectly happy, without Rin tho, he never is.

Also someone explain, what exactly is the point of splitting up two characters, who are happy together, make each other the best versions of themselves and want to be together whole-heartedly? Like I know many start shipping smth, bc the relationships are better in the other pairing, for example, but this is like... definitely not the case here. Like what exactly is missing in rinharu, that makoharu has? Lack of progression and mutual inspiration?

So yes, if you’re into rinharu, totally finish Free! They’re like doing sooo incredible and holy shit they’re inspiring, I mean, look, they’re now the tokyo olympics ambassadors, like how many of yall gay ships reached that? you can’t miss out on them, and also they’re so hilariously romantic, they literally made a wish to swim with each other since they were 13 and did everything to get each other there, I’m.. you’re lying, if you didn’t cry watching them as chibies making wishes on a star and watching them now. One of the most wonderful development in my opinion. Like who would’ve thought back in s1, that we’ll get Haru yelling on top of Rin about how he made him want a future with him, def not me lmao and now all the olympics boyfriends fanfiction are true, I mean, idk what to say anymore. I miss them so much, I can’t wait for the movie :D

#answered #maxeve #anime

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ideasjustclick-blog · 7 years

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@icehecrted!

♕ღ … Perhaps it was a bit unorthodox to seek concentration from a noisy fencing practice-- but Isa supposed she was anything but orthodox. The muted clang of rapiers against one another was reminiscent of home, of duels between her sister and Gabe in the courtyard of their palace. Anything that gave her that small pang of Avalor was enough to trigger a sort of spark within the princess, honing in her focus when she found herself struggling for motivation. Homesickness was not a stranger to her-- but she’d try and remember that she’d chosen to come here, and that her scholarly pursuits were within her reach here in a way that they definitely weren’t back in the kingdom of Avalor. Regular correspondence with her family made things easier, as they always wanted to know what she was up to, and see any new inventions she’d pieced together. Their support was invaluable at this time in her life, and she appreciated it more than she could truly express.

Scribbling in the pages of her notebook, she tried to hone in on the equations sprawled out in front of her, force them to make sense. Even for a near-genius, some of these assignments could throw her a bit of a curveball. Her brow tightened with thought as she worried the tip of her pencil against her lips, nose crinkling. She had tucked herself onto the edge of a bleacher off to the side, wanting very much to not be intrusive, the aforementioned notebook balanced on her knees and her sneakers settled on the bench in front of her. The most noise she made was the soft friction of pencil on paper-- though that was fairly inconsequential underneath the various sounds of sparring, so she felt she wasn’t bothering anyone. If she closed her eyes, she could almost see Elena grinning above of a toppled Gabe, that harmonious laugh like bell chimes in the air. An airy sigh slipped through parted lips-- she needed to get home soon. She missed them far too much.

#icehecrted #🔧 IC.#[ aa AA im sorry that this both sucks + took forever oml #if you need me to add more #pls let me knooow! i left it open-ended bc i wasn't sure what you wanted to have eldon do #so just hmu if you need something more directly interactive!! ]

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itsjusta · 3 years

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May 1, 2021

first day of May was exhausting physically, mentally, and emotionally doeee 🥺🥺

issa i woke up at 9:30 and i saw something in fb haha aish nothing big but idk doe i got sad idiot meee issa im ruining my morning 🤦🏻‍♀️ note to self: i should not think that i also need to be happy becos i see u happy aish i’ve always been telling myself dis but sometimes issa idk i just feel like im so left out hahah its fine to be single doeee but sometimes i just crave for love and for happiness doe 🥺 aish i think once u’ve been genuinely happy gyd u will always crave it for it doeee hahah and das why a lot of days although nothing bad happened i just feel empty cos of dat hahah im so excited to feel genuinely happy with life again doeee 🥺🥺 and i also hope that the next time i love someone they will love me back as much as i love them doeee 🥺 its not easy gyd na not masuklian imo love doeee hurts a lot but also makes me happy 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ but now i will still hang out and samok2 in ur life okayyy!!!!

my body is also so tired doooeee gi pamaol kooo huhu i dont feel like doing anything today but i have tasks na planned uy huhu so 11 kapin i pugos myself to bakod and make da ppt doe and i almost went back to bed but i pushed myself doeee and i finished it at 1pm and after ko nag eat nag laba dayon ko doeee and grabe jd ko kakapoy doeee and daghan au gadagan sko utok 😭 i also got so disappointed at myself doeee cos u know after we broke up ive always tried to become more patient doeee i always try not to get mad but aish i get so frustrated easily gyd doe labaw na if im not in the mood na daan 😭 and today i got easily mad doeee cos i was so tired and if naa inconvenience i got angry doeee and then i got mad and disappointed at myself cos im so impatient 😭 almost a year na and i think im just the same :((( and i’ve always wanted to change doeee cos i’m scared to lose people again because of this attitude :((((((( and i also want to show to u that ive become better but idk doe i think not and aishhh makes me cry doeee ahhaha issa a lot of things made me cry today and mura ko idiot doe while silhig and change bedsheets i cried doeeee aishhh why am i like dis uyy hahaha

after i laba i handwashed pa gyd the tshirt that i was wearing para smol ra ako labhan sunod uyyy issa so tayurd gyd huhu i was able to rest na gyd at 3pm doeee and i tried to nap but i only nap for like 20-30 mins doe and nakamata nako and not na ka sleep again so nag tan awa rko kdrama doeee haahha issa my distraction from all my thoughtsssss the rest of the day i just spent watching kdrama doeee i was gonna do acads but im so tireeed maybe tom nalanggg hehe

i hope u had a fun day off doeee. i always always wish for ur happiness doe u knooow thaaaattt and aish if u are sad or struggling tell me always okayyy!!! and im sorry doe for sharing all this burden to u 🥺 tell me

pls if its pressuring you cos ion want u to hide ur feelings from me doeee :(((( thank u for calling me doe i appreciate it so muuuch gyyyddd thank u for talking to me doe 🥺🥺

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kimmycup · 5 years

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...you know I just wanna scream "JAGNUS" at you for every single one of those prompts because HONESTLY I can literally see every single one of them as a Jagnus situation. But I will restrain myself. So. One more pls?? "You are so cute" because you knooow I love cute!Jace and him denying his cuteness while Magnus will have None Of That?? *^*

”You are so cute!”

Jace sent his boyfriend a murderous glare which lost quite a lot of its power when he scrunched his nose in a futile attempt to push his glasses up without his hands a moment later. The glasses were new, but even if they (and all the delightful nose scrunching that came with them) didn’t help, Jace generally didn’t look very threatening at work.

He was wearing a simple t-shirt and jeans, but he has a mustard cardigan over that, his hair was a fluffy mess, there was a pen behind his ear and surrounded by books, everything about him screamed “cute librarian” (well, bookshop keeper, but the look was the same) and absolutely nothing seemed threatening.

That was the looks, of course. Magnus himself happened to see how long it took Jace to take a guy three times his size down at the dojo, licked every single tattoo on his body, and was, one memorable time, the subject of Jace’s rage when he ate the last cookie. Jace was completely murderous when he wanted to.

But he was also just so damn cute!

“Call me that one more time, and you’re sleeping on the couch.”

“We don’t have a couch yet, honey.”

The bookshop itself was a new thing. Jace and Magnus had decided to move in together and open a bookshop in the small building Jace’s grandmother had left him, which was pretty fun, pretty wonderful and pretty fucking scary. Magnus had sold his own flat to help them establish the business and Jace dropped out of his previous job as a librarian to man the place. Magnus was dealing with the management after hours in his own job at Mr. Fell’s antique shop because they wanted to have some kind of plan B at least and Jace refused to let Magnus leave the job and help him full time.

The renovations were not fully finished yet, and one part of the bookshop was hidden behind a huge carton wall Jace’s half-sister, Clary, painted for them, and behind it, the works to turn the bookshop into a book cafe were happening.

But they were open because they really could do with starting to slowly earn some money. So far they were managing, but only just, which meant the works on the cafe were fine, but their flat had a kitchen, a bed, and a bathroom, with the rest being mostly bare walls.

“Why aren’t you at work and instead are here annoying me, Mags?”

“Ragnor allowed me to swap shifts with Catarina because of the opening! I told him it’s a big day so you will need my help.”

Magnus smiled at him disarmingly while Jace gave him a pointed look where he was sitting on the counter, Jace himself leaning against it, the bookshop entirely empty, the opening banner outside giving it an almost depressive feeling.

“Oh yes. I wouldn’t be able to handle those crowds alone.”

Magnus smirked at him, pushing the glasses up Jace’s nose (he knew Jace hated them but they helped him see and Magnus happened to love the whole cute way they looked) and hopped off the counter.

“Okay, time to shake this up.”

Magnus marched out of the place and flipped the closed sign into open position, inviting the girl who was window shopping for the past few minutes in. He smirked at the shocked dirty look Jace sent him before disappearing back on the street to shamelessly yell people in.

A few hours and a good bunch of satisfied customers later, watching Jace wave off another person with a tired, dopey smile, Magnus couldn’t help but think they might have risked everything to do this, but it was worth it, and it really would work out.

“You are so cute when you’re successful, Angel.”

#kimmycup's good things happen bingo #jagnus #my fic #takaraphoenix

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orowit · 5 years

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LOVER EXPECTATIONS!!!

okAY the album lover comes out tonight and you can bet i am getting my ass to go get it to my local store... and because i am bored AF i thought i would do a rundown through my expectations of the songs that this magical masterpiece is going to have. i have managed to avoid spoilers (actually no, i almost read the lyrics of i forgot you existed, thank u genius!! lol) so this is just going to be laura shitposting. thanks!!! they are probs all wrong anyway and no one is going to read it

I Forgot You Existed: okaaaay this is such a sassy title!!! this gives me this is why we cant have nice things vibes and it seems perfect to send to an ex, or a friend that used to be the meanest but you did not want to seem lonely. perfect abum starter, hoping for state of grace like start...

Cruel Summer: idk but i feel like this is MY BOP, i have been having THE worst summer and i hope i can relate cause i am single af and this album is kinda caotic in the best way… // also the whole devils angels and summer knife sound like such cool concepts, i think that this is going to sound like 1989 vibes like i know places and out of the Woods lyrics and production

Lover: when this song first came out everyone was obsessed with it and i was very happy for tay because she found someone worthy BUT i did not love it so much??? i thought it was cute but it felt too soft in all my misery?? anyways i listened to it before sleep and it was just sooo good like so HEAVENLY and the bridge is soooo goood anyways i want a lover now with blue hearts around them (also like such a cute concept calling them lover aaah)

The Man: honestly the whole concept of everyone would love her if she was a man is the teaaaaa, FEARLESS LEADER ALPHA TYPE WHEN EVRYONE BELIEVES YA WHAT IT LIKE!!!! anywyas miss Swift feminist icon queen of bangers

The Archer: okay this is MY sad jam i have taken it for myself it has not cured my depression but it had made it a nice shelter for me lol i love it i am the archer and the prey. in all states, except physical, i am this song. perfect for when the insomnia hits i love her

I Think He Knows: yes tay you are in love we know it lol. feel like this song is gonna be yeah yeah i am in love with one (1) man and he knows i have writen multiple songs about it OOOR like my ex just found out what is going i am with someone and he just heartbroken duuude he just broken and HE KNOOOWS maybe sassy tay like snl monologue sassy I JUST LOVE SASSY SWIFT

Miss Americana And The Heartbreak Prince: this is THE best title, i love the length it almost tells a story i am too excited probs one of my favs. and also i can really relate to being the hertbreaker so i am VERY excited for this probs had i knew you were trouble vibes which i love im going go drow Stone cold hearts all around this song and arrows and bows and cupid references aaaaaaaaahhhhh best one

Paper Rings: idk about this song what all are these marriage references anyway im so tired and we are just by the half. hopefully a great one but tbh all of them are good

Cornelia Street: i love the fact that she is such a hopeless romantic to even remember the streeet lol such a mood i get the feeling!!! this seems like such a fun song!!! and also a if i ever lose you i Will die and write fifty poems about how this Street looks EDIT: apparently this is the Street of their apartment so yes i was right as always

Soon You’ll Get Better: apperently this is going to be country take me to your rodeo home boy country, i love that this seems to be dedicated to her mom, probably going to cry to this. we all hope you get better Andrea!! those are some good chicks

Death By A Thousand Cuts: here she is…. my overdramatic queen… its not a big of a deal honey… im just kidding plesase be dramatic plese keep writing i just need more exagerations of true looove probs gonna be sad probs gonna be reaaly good banger like i feel like this is gonna have a intense chorus

London Boy: okay mister London boy you and i need to talk are you avaliable next week, what happened, probs style production!! this seems like a song to listen to when you are on a date with this really cute boy in London and it starts raining and you are like oh no!! but he walks you to your door and covers you with their coat and kisses you in the middle on the rain and you have that beautiful memory to dwell on for years and years

False God: this gives me big god by florence and the maching vibes, all the songs with god on it are sooo powerfull hell yeah who wants a false god to go pls POWER SONG

You Need to Calm Down: GAY GAY gay masterpiece this song just called my bi ass off the closet and it has such a good representation on the video. also very happy and fun but Street rat fight kind of fun lol i love this song anyway go vote and vote well

Afterglow: is this about sex lmao? yeah go for it

ME!: it is true you are me and i am you and you are not going to find another one of me and you are algo not going to find a more happy beat that this one. and the collab with brendon urie LIKE!!!! also the video is just so colorful and cute and weird and happy and i want to live in one (1) fantasy world

It’s Nice To Have A Friend: hell yeah i want Friends but people cannot handle being nice so this is why we cant have nice things!!!

Daylight: this is going to be sooooft just like real soft also self written this is going to be poem like the poems from the rep magazines i just KNOW i am going to love this song. the poetry writer part of myself is shaking in her pastel pink boots

and that is all folks

@taylorswift hope you have the nicest day!!! you are heavenly and lovely and the sweetest! 💘💘💘

and also if you are excited comment or something about the track you are most excited about!! or the one you think i would like the most!!! 💗💗💗💗

happy lover night 💕💕💕

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thewhump · 5 years

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My dearest, I knooow you don't write much Sh anymore and you are not yet caught up, but after you watch 3x19, you might have the same need as me: A drugged outta his mind Jace who can't really coordinate himself and was like drugged against his will and whumpy lost confused Jace getting like I dunno abducted or just pushed around and Magnus saving the day? (Maybe drugged at Pandemonium? Something in his drink?) PS: Pls don't forget you love me ^o^

Okay, it physically pains me to say so because I really do love you but I gotta answer this one since it won’t be written, as drug use is one my no go in fics. :( Feel free to ask for something else!

#facts about me: drugs are the one whumpy no no of mine #takaraphoenix

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sheismental · 6 years

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totally platonic — tom holland & shawn mendes series. |CHAPTER ONE|

college au

pairing: college!tom x fem!reader x college!shawn

summary: being a freshman in college is difficult as it is, now can you imagine adding two boys in the mix?

DISCLAIMER: I do not know anything about college so bear with me for some stuff okay? if you guys see something i did wrong pls tell me because i really don’t know much about colleges in the u.s.

—

CHAPTER ONE: THE ROOMATE

It was havoc, all around campus newcomers were running around with confused look on their faces - she could tell they were new comers just by the look on their faces and the way their hands fiddled with the strap of their backpack. Fresh out of high school no doubt.

She was no different, eyes focused on the paper sheet in front of her — her dorm room information, the one given to her by the college’s administration, was now slightly crumpled up. No doubt she was confused and nervous, and that wasn't a good combination on your moving day.

"Honey are you sure you know where you're going?." Her mother asks, holding some boxes on her hands. (y/n) sighs in frustration.

"I think so? It says it's the art major building, second floor near the school's football field." Her eyes searching for the building, her figure moves forwards with her mother trailing right behind her. The air is light with expectation and freedom, and slight sadness from the parents dropping off their kids into this new independent life.

After a few more minutes of walking around confused and asking for directions to a couple of seniors, you arrive to the dorms — specifically to your dorm room. The hallways were crowded with Freshmans, bidding their farewells to their partners and saying their hello's to their roommates.

"There are more boxes on the car, i'll leave this here and bring them." Her mother comments, patting her back and she nod as she reaches for the doorknob.

The door opens suddenly, startling her as a figure appears in front of her. "Oh." She mumbles, raising her gaze to the tall man standing in front of her.

He was just as shocked, his topaz eyes widen as his chocolate curls fall down his forehead messily.

"I thought this was my dorm-." She starts, she didn't recall the secretary telling you that her roommate was going to be a boy.

The guy scratches the back of his neck, smiling sheepishly. He was almost as tall as the doorframe, wearing a grey sweatshirt and black skinny jeans — all rosy cheeks and pink lips. "I think it is – You are (y/n) (l/n), aren't you?." His voice is sweet and slightly deep, she nods slowly.

"Yeah but I thought I was going to be paired with a girl..." she trails off, her feet rocking back and forth awkwardly.

"Oh yes, but I think she decided to stay at her own place and not the dorm rooms — The office told me that they had an available room so I took it. Is that uncomfortable to you?." He asks softly, truly concerned at her reaction.

"Uh, no - I guess." She stammers, finally looking up at the guy and smiling. "I'm (y/n) but you already knew that." She greets, reaching for his hand to shake and he chuckles softly.

"I'm Shawn." He shakes her hand with his own, covering completely hers as he does. He smiles, showing her his perfect pearly white teeth. "Oh maybe you should come in -." He realizes, moving aside as she kneels taking one of the boxes and walking inside.

The room was medium sized, two beds placed on either side of the walls with a window in between them. Light cream colored walls fill your vision – Shawn apparently had a taste for music, since his side of the room had posters of some guitars and music notes.

"So you are here to study music?." She asks slowly, walking to your side and placing the box on her bed — The room was still missing her personality.

"Yeah." He replies with a grin, staring at the wall. "Did the posters gave me away?." He jokes.

"They did and the guitar besides your bed did too." She says with a comfortable smile. "I'm here to study Drama." She comments and Shawn sends her a lopsided smile.

"That's great." He was attractive to say the least, he was buffed – She could tell even when he was wearing a sweatshirt, but that wasn't what made him so gaze worthy. The kind smile and equally kind brown eyes made him look innocently attractive. There's a moment of silence and then he clears his throat as he fiddles with his bedsheets.

"Are you hungry? Maybe we can grab a bit-."

"Oh Honey i'm sorry it took me so long, it's such a long way from here to the car — and there's still a lot of boxes." Her mother walks in babbling, in her arms there were two boxes filled with (y/n)'s stuff. She stops on her tracks as she takes notice of the guy on the room.

"No problem, mom. I'll help you out with the other boxes." She replies and gestures Shawn. "This is Shawn, my new roommate." She tells her with a smile as Shawn reaches over, shaking her mom's hand.

"Hi, nice to meet you." He says with a bright smile, her mom sends him her own kind smile.

"Nice to meet you, Shawn." She greets before placing the boxes on her bed.

Shawn stands there awkwardly. "Uh I will give you guys a minute." He says before walking out the door, she chuckles – No doubt he was dorky.

Her mother wiggles her eyebrows at her and (y/n) rolls her eyes. "You never told me you were staying with a boooy." Her mother teases.

"That's because I didn't knooow." She replies in the same teasing tone. "Besides you totally just interrupted a moment." She says playfully and her mother chuckles.

"You'll have plenty of time to get a 'moment'." She air quotes. "Just use protection-."

"Mom!." (y/n) scolds and they both chuckle. Their laughters die down slowly, leaving them with a strange aftertaste.

"I will miss you." Her mom mumbles, her hand softly tucking a piece of hair behind (y/n)'s ear.

"I'll go visit all the time, you know laundry and all that jazz." She says slowly, looking down at her bed, a lump forming on her throat as she spoke.

Her mother smiles proudly, wrinkles forming on the curves of her lips - She was a kind woman, with heart of gold and an inmense love for (y/n), her only daughter.

“Your father would be proud of you.” She mumbles and that is enough to make (y/n)’s eyes water, a sad smile framing her lips before wrapping her arms around her mother’s neck and hugging her close. Her mother tears up, of joy or nostalgia, maybe a mix of both as she kisses the top of her head. “C’mon, Honey - Let’s bring the other boxes and I’ll take you out for lunch, alright?.”

She smiles softly, pulling away from her mother and they walk side by side through campus.

—

The morning rolls in fast, leaving her with the dim colors of dusk as she walks through campus - Now alone, thinking about her mother made her nostalgic but she was over the moon at the simple thought of registration day. She was ectastic at the fact that in a couple of days she would start classes at the college of her dreams - Art plastered in every corner of campus, just like she had imagined. Happiness over filled her, knowing that staying up late and working her ass off in High School had paid off.

The cold breeze hits her skin softly - Thankful of her warm hoodie, the way to her dorm room had been fast as thoughts roamed through her mind.

She unlocks the door, soft music plays inside - And the scene unfolds before her, Shawn is sitting on the edge of his bed with his guitar on his hands - Strumming delicately. His head shots up at her, he smiles immediately.

“Hey.” He greets, his eyes once again stuck on his guitar.

“Hi.” She greets back. “God I need to unpack.” She groans, looking at the amount of unpacked boxes placed on her bed - Shawn clicks his tongue.

“Do you need any help?.” He offers, and she looks at him - shaking her head. “I’m not doing anything, anyway.” He insists - Standing up, his tall frame walking toward her. “Besides we can talk, get to know each other a little better.”

“Fine.” She smiles softly, handing him one of the boxes. “Thanks, by the way.”

“No problem.” He smiles with tight lips. Maybe this whole roommate thing isn’t so bad, she thinks.

The colors of dusk shine through the curtainless window as both of them talk about each other, and night seems to come a little bit too fast for their liking.

“So you’re Canadian?.” She repeats softly, sitting criss crossed on her - now with a decent bedcover - bed as Shawn sits on that same position in front of her. A blanket is sprawled out on her lap, covering her from the cold air.

He nods with a big smile, needless to say, he was enjoying talking to her - The way she would listen to him and reply with witty comments.

“Yes I am. Did the bagged milk on the mini fridge give it away?.” He jokes and she looks at him with surprise.

“You brought bagged milk? Ohmygod you’re so Canadian!.” She shouts playfully and they both chuckle. “What exactly brought you to Boston, Shawn?.” She asks softly.

“I don’t know - I guess I liked the Music program, and the fact that I wanted to move out of home. Boston is different from Canada but not that much, you know? I can live with this kind of weather.” He replies wholeheartedly and she nods understandingly. “Anyway, what drove you to study here?.”

“I’ve always lived in Boston, and ever since I was little I have always passed by this college - Saying how much I wanted to study here to become an actress, it always seemed so far away though. Like an unreachable dream, but here I am.” She replies happily. “I’m very happy to be here.”

Shawn locks eyes with her, he smiles lightheartedly as his brown eyes sparkle with interest. “Me too, roommate.” He breathes out and she feels her stomach churn at his sparkling eyes.

“Do you want to hear a song I’ve been working on?.” He asks eagerly and she nods. He stands up, walking over to his guitar case and delicately taking it out before returning to his spot in front of (y/n).

She leans in closer as Shawn starts to strum. His eyes focused on the strings as he starts to move his head to the soft melody coming out of the guitar.

“Maybe I had too many drinks but that's just what I needed, I hope that you don't think that what I'm saying sounds conceited. When I look across the room and you're staring right back at me, like somebody told the joke and we're the only ones laughin'.” His melodic voice fills the four walls, her lips part in astonishment - The softness of his voice makes a chill go down her spine, the rythym of the song was so slow and enchanting.

“Don't know why I tried, 'cause ain't nobody like you Familiar disappointment, every single time I do And every single night my arms are not around you My mind's still wrapped around you”

It left her breathless as Shawn suddenly stops strumming, raising his gaze at her as he smiles sheepishly.

“That’s all I’ve got so far.” He confesses as her mouth opens slightly. “Is it total garbage?.” “What? No! It’s beautiful, seriously - You really can sing!.” She blurts out stunned as he tips his head back while he chuckles. “And the lyrics - woah.” She says speechless.

“Well thanks, so I should keep working on it?.”

“Totally.” She reassures and he chuckles once again.

“Wanna know a fun fact?.” He says and she furrows her eyebrows before nodding. “I hadn’t sang to anyone in a while, besides my family i mean.” He confesses, he looks down at his guitar as he speaks.

“I’m flattered and shocked.” She replies, a strange feeling on her chest. “And you have an amazing voice.”

“Thank you.” Shawn replies with all honesty. “Anyway-.” He stands up from her bed. “I shouldn’t be keeping you up so late.” He apologizes, placing the guitar back into its case.

But she really didn’t mind, she had enjoyed their talk even if that was all that they had been doing - And she was glad he had turned out to be her roommate. But she yawns and she realizes that it was half past eleven, so she can only agree with his statement.

After changing into her pajamas - Thankful that she had brought her warm pajamas with her - She tucked herself into bed.

“Goodnight, (y/n).” Shawn mumbles half asleep.

“Goodnight, Shawn.”

—

a/n: should i do part two? (tom will appear in chapter two)

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