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skitskatdacat63 · 4 months

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Hey, do you remember that really homoerotic scene from Skyfall? No? That's okay, here's a Vettonso version of it :)

- explanation & w/o text:

Hi hello, finally my weird psychosexual relationship with Casino Royale has come to fruition. Yeah this is directly based off a scene from Skyfall, but I def envision the vibe as being more like Casino Royale hehe. I can't believe I made that inspo board for this AU almost 4 weeks ago, and then ended up drawing a four panel "comic" about it. Ahhhh proud of myself, a bit, a tad. I think this took 20+ hours across the span of a week? God. Anyways I digress! The AU!!

First of all, their Bond song would be "My Way of Life" by Frank Sinatra. It's so toxic, codependent and obsessive, I'm in love with it. And it really suits Fernando and his motivations and outlook in this AU. Basically, MI6(in the context of James Bond) in this AU is an analog for Ferrari. It picks theses guys up, tells them that they're Ferrari MI6's most special boy, chews them up, and then spits them out when they're finished extracting all their talent and skill and life force.

Much like with Ferrari, Seb in this AU replaces Fernando after Fernando loses favor and becomes undesirable. Now Seb is the new golden boy, and Fernando has turned to a life of crime! Fernando resents Seb for this of course, but also becomes obsessed with him and the idea of him , and how they are connected. It's weird to watch someone else basically go down your exact same path and unknowingly make all the same mistakes(buying into the mysticism of it all too much, being overly cocky, having naive beliefs and goals, etc.) He is caught between wanting to doom Seb even more but also wanting to "save" him, by corrupting him and convincing him to work together.

Basically: He's both a Bond girl and Bond villain.

Fernando is in such a weird place in this AU. I think he's just very dramatic. Seb is just casually living his best 007(005?) life, and Nando is watching him with binoculars, whispering to himself: "DOESN'T HE UNDERSTAND THAT WE ARE NARRATIVE FOILS!?" Yeah he hates Seb, but like the song lyrics say, their lives and dreams are inherently tied up together. He would feel lost without Seb, because Seb basically, unknowingly, destroyed and then took over his life. Maybe he'll feel satisifed if he manipulates Seb into going down the exact same path a bit better.

About the drawings themselves. Still can't believe this scene is a real thing that actually happened, insane to me. But in this AU, after the events of these drawings, Fernando definitely kicked all his henchman out of the room, and fucked Seb in the chair. And then against the wall. And then on the floor. Hey man, Seb is already looking mighty delicious with his unbuttoned attire and being tied up.

I think the general plot would be that Fernando keeps trying to seduce him to the dark side, and Seb keeps making him think it worked, only to escape at the end of the encounter. Leading Fernando to just come up with increasingly more violent and kinky traps. Seb goes along with it(read: enjoys it), leaving Fernando satisifed, only to somehow escape and wink and make kissy faces at Fernando in the process. (Fernando smoking cigarette in bed: "How do I make him stay. Sigh.")

I like to think though that Fernando does win in the end, by realizing, ah wait shit I do need to actually explain my motivations to Seb. And Seb is so worn down by his job, not Fernando, and how he's being treated, that he listens, really actually listens, and realizes Fernando does really have valid reasons. And then they become evil crime husbands yayyyy. Wow you thought this was a espionage AU? Well it is, but just not the outcome you'd expect.

#ah well this was certainly a project....#rn i feel like im devolving into illness so im glad i could finish this up before it possibly gets worse #this is my magnum opus as of rn. just bcs ive not really drawn such a longform thing for them!! happy w it :)#i think i def like the first one the best #it made me suffer so bad but i think i soften on my own art after a few days #like i finish it and know its 'good' but cant help but critique every little thing #but ive had that one done for almost a week so now i look at it and really love it #i was originally just going to draw that one only but then realized i really like the full dialog so. might as well.#generally i liked this though bcs even if it ws difficult. it was nice to have really direct and clear reference #like ah ik where im going w this rather than it being an image in my head that i cant represent the way that I want #ah anyways all my vettonso aus tend to be just wanting to explore specific dynamics of theirs #and this one is basically how i feel about their mutual relationship to the institution of ferrari and how it affects their dynamic #basically: THEY'RE MIRRORS!!!#there's always something to be said abt nando being resentful abt seb bcs of 2010/2012/etc and then seb taking his seat at ferrari #but then witnessing seb basically go thru the same trials and tribulations and failures at ferrari #and realizing huh wait maybe he's not who i was villianizing him as. maybe hes at my level too. maybe he's not infallible. maybe hes like m #a very bitter nando who has to fight btwn his impulse to ruin seb further or to relate to him and start to like him #so yeah that's ^ basically what i want to portray in this au(just like all AUs tbh)#f1 #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #fernando alonso #catie.rambling.txt #catie.art.#vettonso #bond au

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lord-squiggletits · 18 days

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Thinking about IDW Optimus again and the fandom's aversion to even acknowledging he exists bc he's a cop or whatever and like. Most of the time people literally just replace him in fic with some white bread knockoff archivist/librarian, not even bothering to keep in IDW OP's personality (which just bolsters my theory that the problem isn't him being a cop the problem is that he's too multifaceted but I digress).

And it's annoying because you could totally write IDW Optimus as not a cop while still keeping his canon personality. You just have to realize that the reason IDW OP became a cop in the first place is because his formative experiences when he was young shaped him to basically have two priorities: 1. To help people and 2. To do it by being on the ground actively doing something about the bad things happening to people.

IDW OP would not be a fucking librarian or archivist because even though those are noble pursuits that can help people and change the world, and Optimus is educated/smart enough for the profession, he wouldn't be satisfied just teaching people or spreading information about activism or social-historical studies or whatever. He's a mech of action: he needs to be doing things right now, in front of him, to people he sees/interacts with in his own eyes, improving society with concrete actions rather than indirect action or abstract inspiration.

So basically the alternate job ideas I can think of for IDW Optimus are something like being a firefighter (or any first responder really) or even whatever the equivalent would be to international charity organizations, those ones that send volunteers across the world to do stuff like build housing/infrastructure or distribute food or whatnot. I mean I can't imagine that the equivalents to these things would be exactly the same in IDW Cybertron, so you'd have to get a little creative with it, but these are just some ideas of jobs that would fit IDW Optimus' personality while still filling the niche of "not a cop" for people who are just that opposed to it.

Though I think the revulsion against coptimus is annoying in general tbh because IDW is already a continuity that rejects the idea of easily defined good/evil people or groups. It feels like people really want Optimus to be a good person in a very sanitized and academically approved way, so he has to be nice and squeaky clean but also like, a perfect leftist who knows theory and holds the most progressive opinions on every single issue....

There is no room for the idea that good people join bad institutions, there's no room for the idea that the reason people think cops are good guys who help people is bc of the government propaganda everything is saturated with. Hell there's even later issues of the Optimus Prime series by John Barber where Optimus like, MULTIPLE FUCKING TIMES, is shown in flashbacks grappling with the fact that he as a cop/Zeta's regime that he works for might not actually be improving society like they say they are, and dealing with the fact that he feels more like a lesser evil compared to the Decepticons (perhaps not "lesser" at all).

It's like there's this idea in fandom of like, fictional media and opinions on media having to strictly adhere to progressive ideals at all times. So people just go "cops bad, this character is a cop, therefore they suck" without being willing to engage with the idea of like. IDW OP is born wanting to fight injustice and protect people -> a good way to protect people is to fight the people who are hurting them and committing crimes -> surely following the law is a reliable moral code to guide him in this -> becomes a cop because he's been indoctrinated into a society (much like our own) where he was told that the state/the law exist to protect the people and being a cop means you get to fight bad guys that hurt people. There's really so many interesting concepts there that could be (and CANONICALLY IS) explored about how good, well-intentioned people can be led to harmful actions simply because they have been fed the idea that the things they're doing are good/helpful/noble. Which is especially important for a character like Optimus, I think, who has a cultural icon status as The Irrefutable and Perfect Good, so it's really important actually to use IDW Optimus as an example of how even the most noble people you know have held problematic beliefs or done bad things at some point in their life. You know, because no one is born perfect and ideologically pure, and in fact society is constructed in exactly a manner to make people drink the kool-aid and believe that the systems designed to hurt them/others are just a normal, if flawed, society.

I mean the writing in IDW literally has Optimus deal directly and indirectly with the harm he's done as a cop and how people don't/didn't trust him because of that. I don't know what the fuck else this fandom wants if the source material literally saying "OP realizes that cops suck and he hurt people and earned their disdain by doing the things he did" doesn't stop them from going EW cop bastard sucks and is the worst Optimus. Like the narrative barely stops short of outright saying ACAB and Optimus himself would agree with this sentiment.

At that point, the collective fandom beef with IDW OP isn't because he's a cop and the narrative didn't do enough to condemn that. The problem is literally just that people don't read and don't care

TLDR: Consider the fact that good people can do bad things sometimes especially when living from birth in a corrupt society that thoroughly disguises its vices/oppressive structures as completely normal parts of existence

#squiggposting #idw op love #like honestly just admit that you havent actually read his parts of the story #or that in a continuity of moral grayness you insist OP must be the one person who's perfectly good #bc idk Optimus is supposed to be good and perfect bc nostalgia/marketing/mythology says he should be #also i feel like theres evidence here of a very juvenile mindset of like #to be good a person has to have all the right beliefs and say it in all the right ways #which is the mindset only extremely insular or inexperienced ppl could possibly have lmao #heartbreaking i know but IRL there are very few people who are and always have been progressive and perfect #there are ppl within progressive mvmts that have unaddressed harmful beliefs outside of their Chosen Issue #there are people who wouldnt ID as progressive at all but are still good ppl who act well towards others #like if youve actually interacted with ppl IRL you understand that if you reject everyone who isnt Perfectly Progressive #youll have few if any allies and possibly alienate ppl who would help/ARE HELPING #like idk do you know how many ppl i personally know who i think have some bigoted/problematic beliefs #but im still friends or collaborators w them bc i understand that theyre still good ppl learning and growing #like. learn to understand that 'goodness' doesnt always look like a walking leftist textbook please i'm begging #and in fact sometimes stories. esp adult and mature ones. will present you w problematic ppl #and you have to like. grapple with their flaws and explore the tension between intention and consequences #a bit of a philosophy tangent rather than anything TF related which is why i kept it to the tags

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lovrbooy · 3 months

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i feel like i have very unpopular opinions on dennis within this fandom. i am scared of fandom spaces so. to the tags i go

#i fear that some of you see dennis reynolds in a fanon way that you have accepted as canon ...#he is not . GOOD! guys. i say this as someone who deeply relates to him #he is canonically unmedicated for bpd and i Am medicated so i feel extremely attached to the mindset he has that used to be my LIFE!#i dont believe dennis would ever willingly put himself in any sort of situation where he isnt in control or powerful. its why he creates #entire identities just to have power over women for a few weeks. he doesnt date because at some point they become powerful and he losespowe #i am certain that there are parts of his psyche that love his friends and family bc he DOES have feelings ! but i also believe its hard for #him to accept that or even think about it if he wanted to because he is so obsessed with his delusions of grandeur #i dont think love is ever something he could give to someone easily and if he did it would be a painful toxic wound #we already know this. he loves dee and they are horrible for each other. and hes worse for her whether some ppl want 2 admit it or not #dennis is my favorite character on this show and i wanna reiterate that because im scared ppl will be annoying I Dont Share my Opinions #about Media a lot even though i think Tons of them #iasip #dennis reynolds

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buwheal · 19 days

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Man getting spammy back to his old self is really hard, but I hope the yellow tint in his eye is a good sign

Maybe the static will be gone soon?

youre really good at timing this cause i got this in the middle of making that one lol. He wont be back to his "old self" afterwards because he'll be more cognitively there though, aha. He remembers enough of it to make sense of what happened. What you've lost is building up already. He doesnt have much to take back, you know!! Of course it will be hard, hes stubborn as all hell.

It is a good sign though lol, You guys just being there and talking to him helps a lot. He's usually stuck in one spot by himself to wait it out. :-P

#love how you guys are suddenly sending stuff just to make comments and chat after someone else did X-P I dont bite!!!! most of the time.....#you lucky folks who saw the reference sheet peeks a while back should know most of the recovery bits; as i posted the whole section!!#im always willing to answer questions to the best of my ability!! you might even be able to piece a few bits together and figure stuff out #btw i hope you guys are paying attention to not just the YGM! answers because i post other YGM! related stuff that if you look into it enou #enough it could help you out. i.e. this ask and others like it. and my tags. lol.#[YGM!] questions

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willowparkfanclub · 20 days

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okay look. not to gatekeep but i think if you're a newer starkid and you can't tell me 1) who julia albain is 2) what little white lie is and 3) all the names in liam's got a phone call, i don't wanna hear your complaints about what starkid chooses to produce next

#what was denise donovan's first show? who originally did their music? who was in apocalyptour? QUICKLY #i wanna be clear i have no problem with new starkids who are respectful and excited about the company #my issue is the newer ones who hate on old shows/get upset about basically anything that isnt hatchetfield related/are weird to the crew #idk starkid isnt like a show fandom. its years of college friendship and a fandom built by fans. ive been here since i was 10 #ive seen quite a few newer fans get upset about cinderellas castle. one dummy on twt even argued with mariah about it #and idk it just comes off as very rude to hate on a company that GIVES US STUFF FOR FREE when you dont even know their history #newsflash!! adaptations and puppets are like. as starkid as it gets #starkid is not a product that we ask for. the gang thinks up something theyre passionate about and we enjoy #its fine to maybe not like a play concept or point out poor choices from 2009. but its NOT ok to attack the company and its crew as a whole #idk. its just very frustrating to me #just be respectful! please! the starkids r not big budget a list actors they are normal people who work for little pay for passion projects #i could probably articulate my thoughts better but whatever. just be respectful thats what this boils down to #starkid #me yapping

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bredforloyalty · 7 months

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honestly um ,. one part of me understands why those posts were made but, are these poser incest enthusiasts in the room with us now

#jcdrgcy #like where do you get these people from and are you sure they're real and it's not a misunderstanding #i do think it still doesn't get you clout and just because now a community exists in a form it didn't 3-4 years ago*‚ this doesn't make it #mainstream ahaha #*: this is just according to my observations like i'm sure there were communities at all times on the internet‚ somewhere‚#of various sizes‚ many different ones of them‚ i meant the circle of 20smth mutuals we have now which isn't a circle because some bloggers #are just tangentially related or just in one fandom and it's debatable if it could even be called a community #i just know i didn't have so many friends who agreed with me and accepted me a few years ago and now a lot of us interact regularly #but i don't see how.. dead dove or grooming or necro or even the genuinely gothic or tragic would be. becoming cooler?#🤔#idk enlighten me about what all of this means if you can and you want to #kata.txt

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mattodore · 1 year

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kavi and his business major backpack

#simblr #the sims 4 #sims 4 #ts4 #ts4 cas #river dipping #echthroi #kavi sunder #🦇#MEANT to post this last night after all those cas posts but i fell asleep.... so instead you're seeing this now <3 #this is kavi he's one of theo's classmates... for now... i'm thinking he's a business major minoring in either a foreign language (german?)#or something lit related for fun....... hm. who knows...#i might add him to the friend group... idk haven't decided i just really wanted to make this sim #he's inspired by adarsh jaikarran who i've had a few pins saved of in my oc board for foreverrrr #i’ll probably change his hair to a shorter one but i still wanted to show how he looks with this hair since it's what i previewed before #its funny i used every single slot i could but i still feel like he needs more detail.......... it's killing me #even all the tattoo sections are full........ *jumps*#anyway i'm supposed to go to an appointment for my ears today so wish me luck with that......... i'm deaf in one ear #and my other ear has been making constant crackling sounds so... hoping i just need my ear cleaned

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thronealigned · 8 months

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here's the durge scene i was talking about in the tags of my last reblog yesterday - you get this if you cast Heal on them

#the other two options were along the lines of 'the memory makes you sick to your stomach' and 'ugh i was such an amateur back then'#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 spoilers #this raises so many questions for me #spoilers for their questline & backstory follow!!!!!#durge wasnt *born* - they were hand-crafted by bhaal from his own gore #like it's why they have the Urge to begin with. they aren't a normal bhaalspawn #but they weren't just dropped in the world fully-formed #even without this we'd know that because sceleritas mentions a few times how they were on their own until they were an adult or nearly an #adult. at which point he came to them and led them to the temple of bhaal #which is how they picked up all their non-murder related skills. and why they're relatively normal compared to someone like orin who was #raised in the cult. or maybe not normal but better able to function in regular society #but if they werent *born* then how did they show up in the world?#were they like dropped on someone's doorstep as a baby? did they have an adoptive family?#could this have BEEN their adoptive family?#what were they like as a child before they started killing people? probably they just tortured & killed animals #i guess this is all left to the realm of headcanon

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nonokoko13 · 3 months

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#spy x family #sxf #yor forger #thorn princess #tumblr polls #okay in case you didn't know: Yor has references to sleeping beauty #first ref is her code name. Thorn ironically being what put the princess to sleep while it's what Yor uses to put others “to sleep”#Technically her weapons aren't thorns but they could seen as one with her being “the rose” and her stilettos the “thorns” she uses 2defend #herself. Also the rose being her signature flower shown both in her headwear her pin and her assassin clothing #The less obvious fact is her maiden surname #Briar is the name in Little Briar Rose. The ENG title translation in the german version of this tale #Another fun fact considering Ostania is based on Germany so obviously none of these were coincidences #At first I thought the rose could be one of the emblems of the organization as a whole or in general #but after seeing the shopkeeper the only resemblance I could find between his design and Yor's is that both wear those daggers accessories #Yor wearing them in plain sight as earrings while the shopkeeper has them hanging from the ends where he ties his apron behind his neck #so maybe those are the emblems much like that symbol with an eye is to WISE #Of course given how the organisation is called Garden I suppose one of the main themes are plants/flowers/nature #Which has me wondering if other characters may have tale inspo as well or Yor is one the few/only who has references to a tale #it could be something that appears frequently perhaps? Just like many spies have code names related to the different times of day 🤔#anyway this is just a chance to bring the topic and see if others are cooking theories. Feel free to shout your speculations here #sxf manga spoilers #just in case #god now I want to make a sona just to shove on them all my interest about flowers and tales #MY BAD the shopkeeper has the stilettos (?) hanging at the ends of the strings to keep his hat in place ☠️

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inthecarpets · 6 months

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Before getting shadowblocked i always thought that the so called shadowblock simply doesn't let your posts into tag searcher. like that's everything people always complained about so i thought it's kinda ehh whatever and could be fake bc Tumblr likes to not let your posts in tags every now and then.

Now with shadowblock on i see, its much more than that 😑

- Can't message anyone from this blog Nor view private messages i had from this blog

- if i send an Ask from this blog it likely won't be visible for the receiver

- can't submit anything to other people's blogs

- my written additions (whether it be tags or words in main body of post) don't show up in the posts nor notifications of other people.

- i simply don't appear in other blogs' notifications

- i can't view asks people send me to this blog Unless it's from my normal notification box. My askbox stays empty regardless

#carpet talks #and i don't even know Why it happened #and i don't think it's war related as i haven't wrote Anything. only reblogged some few posts #and i generally reblog bull all time i could say #why now?? were reblogs really the reason???#or is it seriously bc i tried to message a person who made a post being like 'i feel like chatting after a bad day. feel free to write to m #JDHFJAJFJAJDJAJ

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magentagalaxies · 1 month

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also idk why that last post reminded me of one of my favorite bellini fun facts which he shared in the podcast he co-hosted with scott back in like 2013 which is that he never played "rock, paper, scissors" until he was in his late 40s??? like he'd never learned how to and he was like "if i saw someone doing that i would leave a room. i don't need an extra thing to learn today" honestly king behaviour

#i love bellini sm i should listen to more of that podcast i never finished the last few episodes bc i got distracted #also very proud of the fact that i was able to track that podcast down bc both scott and paul were convinced it was just lost media #(which especially says something for paul bc he saves everything and he didn't have any recordings of it)#so as soon as i found it online paul had me send him the link so he could download all of it for his archive #tbh i talk a lot about how similar i am to scott or bruce but really i'm moreso following in the footsteps of bellini lmao #like between me being the apprentice ''scott-wrangler'' (bellini's unofficial title during the KITH tv show)#and me being very into archiving everything related to KITH (and just in general)#all i'm missing is my own version of the towel lmao #i of course know how to play rock paper scissors but also who am i kidding if i didn't this would 100% be jessamine behaviour #like i can think of multiple examples where there was a ''universal'' thing i never experienced which i then refused to learn anything abou #despite it being such a small petty issue lmao #i hope bellini is having a good day today he deserves it

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fauvester · 9 months

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Lim wondering if this is how yadek felt in the obsidian order when disposing of the regnars before refusing to draw any parallels between himself and garak for another decade

WAKHDJKDHFKJH years later lim confessing to julian about his crime and resulting dIsplay of adolescent psychopathology and julians like. That's so funny, that's EXACTLY what garak said about all the assassinations. And lim Realizes

#ELIM GARAK 'NO RELATION TO ELIM GARAK' MY ASS! THATS HIS FUCKING SON!!!#bashir tells garak about it that night and he thinks its an absolute hoot #he holds that lim would have been a promising operative because hes aggressively average in looks and behavior #i mean. not like garak ever TOLD julian about what he did in the OO. not directly.#but maybe after a few decades he's comfortable enough to obliquely discuss it as a joke #perhaps to lovingly poke fun at his beloved son whos coming around to accepting moral ambiguity #lim in his 30s like Yes well yadek i know what you went through as a state spy. because of the hotpot lizards. i know #garak: oh of course. you're a cold blooded murderer. the blood of tain and whatnot.#lim: if youd gone abroad as a cook instead of a tailor would you dispose of bodies in your slow cooker #garak: well it would have to be a very large slow cooker. i suppose if i were a professional chef it would have to be though.#lim: you could never be a professional chef. you're too precious about stains and you lack the strength of conviction the kitchen requires #(the kids refer to garaks exile as Living Abroad. like its a fun anthropologic vacation)

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blitheringbongus · 3 months

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Can't believe Scar saw a rapidly approaching, dishevled mumbo and went "he's so cute." I need to run unorthodox experiments on them.

IKR SAME OMG

They’re literally perfect for each other <- delusional

But seriously they have so much lore together in my silly brain and the few interactions they do have (WHICH HAS BEEN INCREASING A LOT LATELY MAY I ADD) has been FUELING the fire rapidly and gods gods GODS do I have many thoughts about them

#literally making an illustration type comic on Mumbos whole vampire timeline #Scar will be next with his vex schenanigans..#the worst part is I always cycle like three to five different backstory’s in my brain for these two I CANNOT decide #but now that I’ve written a short ficlet (that no one will see unless asked) abt a few scenes of Mumbos backstory I think I’m pretty set on-#-his part #Scar tho??? no clue #I have the Hotguy backstory (which I daydream about WAY too much) I have the apocalypse backstory. I have the single player raised by villa-#-gers for years and years cuz his mom dropped him off in the single player world when Scar wasn’t conscidered a player yet since he was an-#-infant cuz it was a teen pregnancy and she was too scared to tell anyone so she just dropped him off with the villagers never to be seen #again. and since it was technically HER single player world when Scar DID grow up old enough to be recognized as a player he couldn’t #access any of the 'exit world' stuff or anything like that since it wasn’t his world #and then like a watcher or smth pulled him out of it so that Scar could be put through the horrors of gun related things for experimentstuff #and then there’s the backstory of where scar IS a watcher. like not a person turned watcher he was BORN (if you could say that) a watcher #and like the other watchers wanted to do an experiment of basically 'could a watcher if stripped of its memories and placed in a people-#-world be able to produce its own feelings and emotions?' and so they did that to Scar but they didn’t place him there as a baby no. they #placed him there as a full grown man so bros even more confused. and when the life series stuff started he had exactly one ☝️ dream per #Series and it was tiny little snippets of his watcher self but he didn’t know that it’s him but like he felt a strange pull towards these #dreams so that’s basically the reason why he kept coming back to the life games even tho they hurt him deeply as we all know #and then when he won secret life the secret keeper asked him what his wish was now that he’s won and he didn’t ask to know who he was and #where he came from (since he just appeared one day as a full grown man with no identification) since he’s made peace with that maybe it is #better not to know. so instead he asked abt the dreams he always has in these series and wth their abt and the context and stuff #and then BAM the secret keeper just drops all that information on him and he has an identity crises :D #anyways. I put both of these guys through many horrors I just have so many ideas for scar specifically. oh also there’s that backstory where #hes an assasin guy and he feels rlly guilty abt it when he gets split in half (gtws and btws) cuz like he has morals now apparently?? also #it explains the scammer stuff cuz he was a HUGE scammer bacl them #asks #hermitcraft #goodtimeswithscar #mumbo jumbo #redscape

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ravencromwell · 4 months

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Ros Vortalis trans headcanons

There are some remarkable trans Holland fics and headcanons, but can we talk about Ros Vortalis, whom all of his friends simply call Vor? Who, even when he’s _dying Holland calls Vor, to be expected, but also Vortalis which’s so much longer than Ros.

A bit of googling informs me Ros is “protector” in German, which’s chef’s kiss one hundred/ten no notes V.E. But it’s also, more frequently, a diminutive of Rosalind. Disclaimer before I start these that I respect and love! the headcanons of Makt as fairly gender nonrestrictive, with power being more of a defining factor of treatment. My Makt, however, is more complicated, with gender and gender transitions being imperfect but still a site where joy can be created, much like the rest of White London existence. Putting the rest of these beneath a cut with that in mind because as a trans person, I know some days I can’t handle transness as careful complication to be navigated and don’t want to inflict it on anyone unprepared. (Though, I promise! there’re fluffy as fuck nsfw Vor/Holland and Vor/friends headcanons in here to cut the angst.)

Ros retains a shortened form of his given namefor business purposes within the Shal—we know Shal means “market” in Red London, and I tend to think it means the same in White, such that when Holland calls him a “thug from the Shal” he’s referring to Vor being in the merchant/smuggling business. When he transitions, he’s relatively young and honestly to flagrantly demand a name change would be seen by too many as blood in the water. His greatest focus, always, is Makt rather than his personal happiness and he’d rather be burdened with the “nickname” Ros and be capable of rising in the Shal in service of becoming king.

There’re two ways of transitioning: the easiest and least painful is utilizing a spell similar to Astrid’s with Lila and stealing a face and voice. But that spell fades with death and though Vor understands that his body is likely destined for desecration once he’s gone as Makt’s people drain its blood and magic, there’s still this stubborn demand that they destroy a body without the face that made him shudder every time his child self caught a glimpse (he is so grateful for a lack of mirrors in Makt for much of his young adulthood.)

So he chooses the harder, excruciating method: finds a bone magician to permanently reshape his body. Session after session, over months traveling abroad on a ship with only the open sea and crew to hear him scream himself hoarse.

The first time they share a bed, Holland strokes along the broadened shoulders, runs fingers along the scars on his chest—eyes fixed on Vor’s all the while— and murmurs: “If they did not believe you would hold the throne, they were fools.”

“I’m flattered.” He’s bright-eyed, with that deep, rolling-sea laugh.

“After this, very little would stop you.” Fools have marveled at the extent of spells across his body, and inwardly he howls in hysterical laughter because there is very little to dull pain in Makt, and the shipboard pain was so vast it made everything else feel like pinpricks by comparison. He’s never bedded someone who would know that as intimately as the man who had done his damndest to use that same magic in stopping Vor’s fist before it connected with his face, and the admiration uncoils something deep in his chest. “Sometimes I’m certain I can’t keep it. One moment it will be there and then not.” He manages a farse of a smile “Foolish, after all these decades, but such is the weakness of your future king, Holland.”

“Lucky you would have an Antari to put it back, then.”

By the time he returned to London, voice rumbling deep from an expanded chest, people understood quickly to use “Ros” with the proper pronouns or see just how effective the runes on his hands were. But well…Ros is an easier shirt than Rosalind to slip into, but it will never sit comfortably. As he develops allies, he finds that Vor and Vortalis fit easier. And it becomes a good gauge for trust. Those who understand implicitly how painful his given name is and respect that, are people worth keeping. It becomes easier, as fewer and fewer people survive who remember Rosalind.

There are far too many moments to count when former friends or lovers try to use “Ros” as a weapon, with a little smirk that says: “You never said we _couldn’t call you that.” And he’s deeply glad he made a relatively small name fuss and provided only a small chink in his armor. (Those sorts of people tend, inevitably, to cause the use of his knives. As though letting them close and showing kindness is an invitation for open season. But such are the risks in Makt, and he is a man who craves touch and closeness. What good to craft the ideal body only to never have it appreciated. The way Holland simply…withdrew from people after Talya is something almost unfathomable. Whether they’re the closest of friends or both king and night and! king and beloved—which’s pretty much always in my head—there’s a deep, profound ache that he could never touch Holland enough to make up for too many years alone.

It’s the dimmest flicker every time he sees the “knight” and “Antari” masks slip, when Holland leans against his shoulder or puts his head in Vor’s lap, eyes half-closing at fingers in his hair. But, simply because the task is nigh on impossible, doesn’t mean he won’t do his best. Vor touches Holland Vosijk a hundred thousand times in those two years of rule—and so, so many more if they both survive—and is so very, very grateful he could take the touches the best of his lovers and allies offered over the last thirty years. (On a slashy front, can we also just talk about how, as a couple, there’s an incomparable way arousal and awe intertwine for Vor _every time Holland reaches out and shows affection: a kiss against his temple as Vor lets their foreheads rest together; a hand moving slow and easy down his back. To be trusted enough for the most guarded man he’s ever met—it took Vor _months to convince him to kill Gorst and he’s never had to work so hard or wanted so desperately for someone to say yes in his life—to touch him is such a valuable thing that he has immense responsibility not to break.)

Also in couple’s verse: If Vor has a small regret, it’s that the bone magicians are far more skilled with outward, above-the-waist presentation—because the best of them have not only done this for trans people, but for criminals etc. seeking a disguise. Thankfully, they had no trouble cutting him open to ensure he would never be with child—he doesn’t have the vocabulary for dysphoria, but the idea of his stomach rounded and heavy is one of the few things that can make him viciously soul-deep terrified. But the below the waist equipment well, it’s not a magic Makt has the luxury of learning.

By the time he meets Holland, it’s the very faintest of regrets: he has a collection of strap-ons for when he and a lover want to indulge in that particular fantasy—and is comfortable enough in his skin it’s an indulgence and not a requirement. It’s beautiful to watch lovers slide to their knees and take them in their hands or mouths or slide inside and watch them arch with pleasure. But oh, oh he wishes he could _feel it. It’s not a complaint worth voicing, and honestly after he becomes king, there’s very little time to indulge.

But one day, Holland comes back, smelling of flowers holding a box, tells the guards to wait at the end of the hall because he has crucial business from “the other London” for the king’s ears alone, which has Vor intrigued and concerned because he hasn’t come close to asking Holand to send a message. But before the concern can swell to anything beyond a flicker, he sees a flush so faint anyone would miss it who wasn’t watching. (Even before the Danes, Holland held his feelings and desires in an iron grip; Vor learned early in sharing a bed that Holland loathed the idea of being heard by those not his lovers when losing control: not merely a discomfort that could add spice to an evening, but viscerally, the way it would take everything Vor had to turn his back on an armed opponent.) This is pleasure, not business and he flicks his fingers in a silent command before they can even turn to look.

"Go get yourselves some dinner,“ he says for good measure, "If there is a foe Holland cannot protect me from, there’s little more bodies can do.”

When he opens the box…there are the usual straps but the cock. The cock feels like _skin. “The Arnesians-” and oh, there’s still so much contempt in those words “With their infinite supply of magic have learned to transmute. From earth to bone, and then something softer. There is an illusion for the Arnesians who want to forget the straps.” There were layers upon layers beneath that statement: neither of them wished, at least then, to go begging for scraps, but to _take a little of the bounty Arnes had hoarded,

“_Yes!”

Neither of them know how the illusion works: it is as mysterious as the fireworks Holland has seen that fool his eyes into certainty dragons fly across the unbearably vivid Arnesian sky. It does not matter; in those moments when Holland’s mouth is hot on skin, Vor is utterly, entirely certain Holland is swallowing down the cock he has always had.

It’s almost too much, leaves him speechless for the first time in decades, has Holland scrambling up and onto the bed even as his eyes are still glassy from watching the king come undone to wrap himself around Vor’s back until the world comes into focus again. “Is it only good once or-” he asks, finally and Holland’s smirk is wicked.

When he’s upending the Ost table and coughing up blood—, so much, too much kajt I hope Holland can take the throne because whoever these bastards are they can’t rule, the thing he clings to: more than “Stay with me"—though he _tries—, more than the raw panic in Holland _swearing—is the name. _Vortalis, he says when the table overturns—though it would be such a forgivable mistake to use Ros. Vor, he says while chanting stay and one of his blood spells. He will die as who he made himself, not as he was born.

The three threads of coherence for Holland are the blood spell. That Vor _has to stay. And that if he cannot be enough to stop this, he _will not let Vor die hearing him use the wrong name.

In verses where Vor lives, they both know the "thank you” when he wakes is not for the healing, though to be alive is a joy.

#Holland Vosijk #Ros Vortalis #Ros Vortalis/Holland Vosijk #[to anyone who saw this before I could add the read more fuck I'm sorry I haven't posted on here for too long and how you do everything wit #screen readers is different now]#queer stuff #my meta #shades of magic #please anyone who would like to incorporate any of these into anything Shades related do so gleefully #seeing any of these floating around in fic would make my fucking year #from the moment! all Vor's friends called him by his surname I wanted to write him as trans #so this is my gleefully self-indulgent Christmas present to myself #I'm taking the anxiety out of fic with an essay/meta and fic hybrid I first saw the brilliant #badassbutterfly1987 #use on a different topic a few days ago *bows to this ship's captain who's supplied a shockingly wonderful amount of content solo #and is watering my crops with current drabble collection*#it lets me not worry about producing a perfect product while indulging my love of dialogue and is kinda glorious #(for the record. askbox/messenger's always open to talk anything in this fandom #especially White London and/or these two whose dynamic has sent me into the hardest hyperfixation since I don't even know when

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viperwhispered · 1 month

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30 days of twst challenge - day 23: Who do you most relate to?

I mean, I have kinda touched on this earlier in the fave post… But Jamil. No question.

And since this got long (oops), I'm gonna put this behind a readmore.

Now, I feel like I should add the caveat that I’m kinda straitlaced and certainly not as much of a schemer as Jamil is. On the other hand, I did actually have a normal childhood, so… Who knows where I would’ve ended up in his shoes.

But even just seeing the constant worrying and planning and prepping in the Scalding Sands event, which was my first proper introduction to him, was very relatable. I am a planner, through and through, thinking of what’s coming next. Sure, I’d like to think I’m slightly less neurotic, but you’ll have to ask someone else than me about how true that actually is.

And then there was the overblot, and just… Yeah. Like, I totally got it why the constant holding back would get to him. Personally, I would absolutely hate something like that, not being recognized and not being allowed to compete fully and show my all. (I mean yeah there’s more to it, especially with the jp version, but this angle is what resonated with me.)

Also on a less conscious level, for a few years now my husband has been dealing with a chronic illness that limits him quite a bit. A lot of the running of the household is left to me by necessity, as well as managing husband’s things too, and just worrying about him. And like, I can’t help but see the parallels here (which, in hindsight sure are very obvious, even if it took me a while to see them). And I definitely sometimes also dream of just going away just by myself, not having to worry about anyone else but myself.

Also like, with the snarky post-overblot Jamil, it is very much possible he is sometimes saying things similar to what I might be thinking, but choosing to hold back. Because I too sometimes find myself exasperated with people who just don’t get it or who are more chaos than order.

Just, I do generally prefer trying to be nice about it instead.

Also like, the way Jamil tends to think he has to be the one doing things, and believes he’ll be the one who can get it done? Yeah I can definitely see echoes of that in myself too. Both in a healthy self-confidence way and in an unhealthy “gotta keep everything in my hands” / get involved with everything way (definitely something I’m working on). Because for some reason there’s a part of me that thinks I could fix basically everything - or that I have to be the one doing so. Totally a sensible mindset and all.

Which could also lead to talking about hyper-independence, which, uhh, again a bit of a mood. Tho honestly I’m not sure how many good examples of the characters actually relying on others we have in this game anyway so… (Alright Diasomnia and the Shrouds and Vil & Rook seem to be more or less decent about this, at least.)

It’s just, there’s a lot reflected here, some things more clearly than others, but with Jamil its just really feels easy for me to get the whys of what he does. Like I can’t pretend I can truly put myself in his shoes, considering his particular brand of traumatic upbringing and the way it’s warped his way of seeing the world (those with the power and those without, aka masters and servants), but there is just a lot that resonates.

#twisted wonderland #30 day twst challenge #ner talks #jamil viper #there might also be something to be said about being the elder sibling and all but honestly who knows how much that has to do with anything #not me just exposing my heart and soul for an ask game #(also yes I am also very aware of how much I feel the need to preface/excuse every potential bad trait don't come at me I know)#sometimes it really does feel like I tend to fall for characters who end up reflecting parts of myself #not that it's always the case #but there sure are a few prominent examples who certainly could be viewed from such a lens #also I'm sure there are relatable aspects to the other twst characters too #but since they haven't gripped me in the same way I've not spent that much time thinking about it

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