#he is not . GOOD! guys. i say this as someone who deeply relates to him

[funnywormz]

I think this shitshow with Toshiro stems from the trend of people INSISTING that interpersonal conflict must be a moral failing. Like I think there's something to be said about how people afford so much less patience to people who are autistic in the "wrong" ways, but also Laios and Toshiro just clash on a fundamental level that has nothing to do with that. Hell, you could read Toshiro as autistic as well. People related to Laios' side of the argument but instead of getting any nuance out of it they started projecting their experiences with ableist people onto Toshiro.

AGREE AGREE AGREE. i think that Fandom Brain gets people very used to thinking of conflicts in terms of "who is the bad guy and who is the good guy", so when they encounter a more nuanced conflict they don't really know what to do. i don't think toshiro is a bad person at all, in his conflict with laios he's just exhausted and starving and has been pushed to the limit and from his perspective, laios doesn't even seem that emotionally affected by the situation. i don't think what he said was right and it was pretty cruel, but i don't think he's a villain or deserves to be permanently hated as a character just bc he fucked up this time lol

also yeah you could definitely read him as autistic, and i think that highlights an issue in the autistic community in general bc like....... a lot of autistic people have conflicting needs which can lead to conflict between them/make them unable to stand being around each other. and it's not because either of them are neurotypical or bad people, they're just incompatible. like autistic people who loudly stim vocally and autistic people who meltdown when they have to be around loud noises, for example. it doesn't mean either of them is bad or not autistic, just that they have conflicting needs

i 100% agree with the last part too. i disliked toshiro at first myself bc i had been (and still do ngl) projecting onto laios hard and the conflict they had reminded me of times when people have been mean or angry at me irl for social blunders i've made unintentionally, or when someone i thought liked me/was my friend turned out to actually hate me. it's a common experience for autistic people and that scene resonates with that! but i think it also helps to take a step back from projecting our own traumatic experiences onto the scene and just look at it objectively. laios isn't perfect either and he's the one who actually starts the physical fight by slapping toshiro (i feel like i don't see many people mention this lol). i feel super bad for him in that scene but he's not a perfect victim and has done things wrong himself too

as an autistic person i've also been in situations where i can relate to toshiro too lol, like where someone is overly physically and emotionally familiar with me when we don't know each other well and i've wanted them to back off but haven't been sure how to say it without hurting their feelings. this kind of conflict is far from just being a "neurotypical vs neurodivergent" thing as a lot of people portray it in the fandom

idk i just wish people would think a little more deeply about the scene and put their own emotions and experiences aside to instead consider the conflict with the added context of the individual characters and their respective cultures + the situation they're in. people don't have to like toshiro but i wish they wouldn't paint him as a villain or make up awful shit about him just to justify their feelings when he isn't even that bad of a dude in canon yknow 😑. also we literally see him at rock bottom struggling and freaking out and i think that's important to remember. in a different context i doubt he would have ever said those things to laios

#dungeon meshi #laios touden #toshiro nakamoto #ask #tysm for the ask btw!

[lovrbooy]

i feel like i have very unpopular opinions on dennis within this fandom. i am scared of fandom spaces so. to the tags i go

#i fear that some of you see dennis reynolds in a fanon way that you have accepted as canon ... #he is not . GOOD! guys. i say this as someone who deeply relates to him #he is canonically unmedicated for bpd and i Am medicated so i feel extremely attached to the mindset he has that used to be my LIFE! #i dont believe dennis would ever willingly put himself in any sort of situation where he isnt in control or powerful. its why he creates #entire identities just to have power over women for a few weeks. he doesnt date because at some point they become powerful and he losespowe #i am certain that there are parts of his psyche that love his friends and family bc he DOES have feelings ! but i also believe its hard for #him to accept that or even think about it if he wanted to because he is so obsessed with his delusions of grandeur #i dont think love is ever something he could give to someone easily and if he did it would be a painful toxic wound #we already know this. he loves dee and they are horrible for each other. and hes worse for her whether some ppl want 2 admit it or not #dennis is my favorite character on this show and i wanna reiterate that because im scared ppl will be annoying I Dont Share my Opinions #about Media a lot even though i think Tons of them #iasip #dennis reynolds

[allisonlol]

HII !! could you do dazai, chuuya and fyodor with a s/o that forgot pretty much everything from their past/forgets a lot in the present due to trauma? if possible male reader, and if not gn works aswell! thank you :))

a/n: felt this req hard LOL

warnings: memory loss, past trauma (not elaborated on)

(Dazai, Chuuya, Fyodor) With a S/O with Memory Loss From Trauma

Dazai

i feel like dazai can relate in some ways because he too has immense trauma but instead of forgetting it, he remembers it too well

therefore in a way he's grateful that ur brain is blocking those memories so u don't have to remember the pain

dazai had noticed your forgetful behavior the second he met you, and had already categorized it as due to trauma in your past

honestly finds your forgetfulness adorable but it also enrages him bc someone hurt you enough to cause it

simply does not comment on any of this though. if you mention that you forgot something that happened literally yesterday he'll simply smile at you (is that a hint of sadness in his expression?) and reassure u that it's okay

will text u updates throughout the day to make sure u aren't forgetting anything

pictures pictures pictures!!!! literally photographs everything u guys do together so you can always look back to remember :)

but unbeknownst to you, dazai will secretly do some deep digging into your past to find out exactly what happened and who to get revenge on <3

^trust me when i say they will deeply regret everything they had ever done to you

Chuuya

it's canon that chuuya can't remember what... the first 7 years of his life? so he totally understands

he won't question u at all abt the reasonings for your memory loss unless u wanted to talk abt it

does get worried abt your current forgetfulness though. with a job as strenuous as being in the mafia, having a good memory is important

^if any of the higher ups knew you weren't "sufficient enough" in that department, despite your other strengths, you would be disposed of

this added stress doesn't help you at all but chuuya does his best to keep you safe

^having a boyfriend who is also your executive is very useful in this aspect

leaves little notes and reminders on your desk so u won't forget anything important

hell, chuuya will even fill out reports for you if u were having trouble remembering the events that took place

i feel like he would also pay very close attention to everything u guys do together so, if you forgot, he would be able to tell you all about it

Fyodor

another one who categorized your memory loss as due to trauma the second he met you

unlike the others tho, he will question u about it

if you’re honest with him & say that it’s due to traumatic events, he’ll ask if you want him to do anything about it for you (in other words, find and eliminate the ones who caused it 😊)

^if you say no to this, he’ll nod and agree with u but secretly hunt them down on his own

however if you lie to fyodor and say that you’re just forgetful (not due to trauma) he’ll frown & keep asking probing questions until he gets the truth out of u

has he heard of privacy? like damn

^its out of love tho. not saying it’s right but fyodor shows his care by learning as much abt u as possible. he needs to know everything, good or bad

finds your current forgetfulness adorable, albeit irritating at times (remember who we’re talking abt here)

if you forgot an event or important piece of information he will get slightly annoyed with you & might say some insensitive things 😬

^tho once he sees that he’s upset you, fyodor will usually sigh and apologize

recommends u keep a journal for reminders, however he also logs all events that u do alone or together so you won’t forget in the future

taglist: @deadmitochondria @miycutie @scul-pted @exorcisedstraydog @chuuyasboots @shy-socially-awkward-intovert @beandaifuku @stygianoir @sonder-paradise @dreaming-of-ambedo @nervousyetconfidentway @beautiful-is-boring @irethepotato @serenareiss @thescrunkly @ashthemadwriter @mrsdostoevsky @creamygojo @disa-ster

#bsd x reader #bsd x y/n #bsd x you #bungou stray dogs #fyodor hcs #bsd fyodor #chuuya x you #chuuya headcanons #chuuya x reader #fyodor x reader #dazai x reader #bsd dazai #dazai imagines #dazai x y/n #dazai headcanons #dazai x you #dazai hcs #chuuya x y/n #chuuya imagines #chuuya scenarios #chuuya fluff #fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor headcanons #fyodor imagines #bsd imagines #fyodor x you #fyodor x y/n

[picaroroboto]

For the past couple days, I've been unfortunately cursed with thinking about Zenos yae Galvus. I don't even particularly like him - not that I dislike him either, Zenosfuckers you can put your scythes down - but it seems to me like a lot of the fandom either greatly misunderstands him, or doesn't even care to try to understand him, which from an objective standpoint as someone who cares deeply about writing in video games kind of pisses me off. But I'm more pissed about the fact that I'm apparently going to keep thinking about this issue until I actually write a character analysis of him.

Q: "But, what even is there to analyze with him? Isn't he all about wanting to fight the WoL and nothing else?"

Well, you wouldn't be wrong with saying that. That motivation is at the forefront of his character, and even if you look closer, everything about him comes back to either "violence" or "lack of understanding of others". But there are more meaningful sides to his deceptively simple character. That question of meaning is what I really want to look into - what does his character mean, what symbolic or thematic role does he play in this story?

Q: "Better question: why are you posting this on your art blog/Fate meta sideblog?"

Good question, with a stupid answer: I have all of 6 followers on my FF14 sideblog, and around 150 here. Let's go under the cut so they don't have to read a wall of text, unless they want to.

When you look at and compare FF14's villains, you can see a very clear change, no doubts thanks to the change in main writers. ARR Gaius and Thordan are more or less two-bit villains - Gaius's memeable iconic Praetorium speech gives us insight into how fascists try to justify themselves but little into Gaius's actual personality, while all Thordan gets as far as depth of character is an NPC in a sidequest remarking that he wasn't always a bad person and was probably doing what he thought best for his nation. Nidhogg is a little more understandable, since revenge is a relatable motivation to anyone who's been hurt by others. In Stormblood, Zenos and Yotsuyu are both presented as deserving of pity even as they do terrible things. Come Shadowbringers and Endwalker though, the story takes a greater interest on why villains like Emet-Selch and Elidibus do the things they do, and the player is allowed more options to try to understand them and see how similar they are to the WoL. Hell, Hermes and the Endsinger are barely "villains" at all, with the level of sympathy the story shows them.

What I'm getting to here is that Zenos, with half his arc in Stormblood and the rest in Endwalker, is sort of caught in the middle of this shift. He played the role of the rival character in Stormblood really well, but come Endwalker, he's standing on a stage full of heroes and villains with grand causes and deep motivations, as the guy whose sole motivation is fighting for pleasure.

It seems he's not unaware of this contrast himself - when Jullus confronts him for ruining Garlemald for no good reason, he retorts with "Would you be happier had I a good reason?" Zenos makes no attempt to justify his own actions and doesn't care that his reason seems incomprehensible and unforgivable to others. Yet in that same cutscene Alisaie hits him with the fact that if he keeps living solely for pleasure, he'll die alone. When next we see Zenos, he's alone at the Royal Menagerie waxing philosophical about what he really sought in the battle with the WoL.

See, what really motivates Zenos isn't just the thrill of battle - this guy has gotten Battle High and the joy of human connection confused. Really.

Even before he gets so perturbed by the idea of dying alone, there's other suggestions, like his proposal of friendship to the WoL when they fought in Stormblood, and then later his dying words in which he explains that he never understood others - at his core, he's just lonely. I know there's an official side story that tells it, but you don't need to know the exact details to glean that he had some sort of tragic backstory. Sad, but not a surprise, considering he's the prince of the Garlean Empire, raised to take the throne and continue the Empire's legacy of violence.

At his core, he's a very lonely person, but also a thing of violence, raised using violent methods for the purpose of causing more violence. Violence is how he lives and breathes - the only way he gets any sort of connection with others in a world of hurting and being hurt is the brief connection warriors dueling as equals can sometimes find. Don't deny that this sort of connection exists - FF14 is great at making fights that are both fun and tell a story. Hence, why he goes crazy for the WoL, but also refers to them as "friend". In their fights, he senses (or thinks he senses) similarity between him and them. Beneath all the madness is a pure, genuine joy in seeing the self reflected in the other...but he also instantly gets on the train to projection-town, population Zenos, and assumes the WoL is exactly like him, ignoring or failing to notice that they also fight for deeper meanings. The worst part is, he doesn't even notice that what he's actually seeking in fighting them is connection until Alisaie's aforementioned callout.

So he goes and angsts for a while, then turns into a dragon again and flies across the universe to help us kick the Endsinger's tail feathers, then issues his challenge for that duel he'd been longing for. But what's changed is that he starts with a question - "Such pleasures you sought for their own sake, and for no other reason, is that not so?". Dying after the duel, he's full of questions too: "Was your life a gift or a burden? Did you find fulfillment?" Alisaie's suggestion that he'd die alone actually spurred him to realize what he actually sought in the WoL, and now he's asking all these questions in an attempt to, for the first time in his life, genuinely connect with another human being.

The questions aren't important just because they're a sign of how Zenos has changed in Endwalker - they're actually the thematic heart of Endwalker! ARR may have had "Answers" as it's theme, but EW is the expac of questions. Namely the biggest question of all: What is the meaning of life? Different characters have different answers to that, leading to the grand-scale symbolic conflict being the Endsinger's despair - her belief that there is no meaning in life - versus whatever reasons the WoL chooses to live for, left, as always, up to player interpretation.

When you look deeper, Zenos isn't actually as out-of-place in the symbolic conflict as he first seems. His depressed worldview - that metaphor about drowning in a swamp again - seems to align with the Endsinger's view about life being meaningless. But he aids the WoL in defeating her. In that way he serves as part of the answer to her question about the meaning of life. He may have resented life at times, but he still found meaning in chasing pleasure. Not the strongest or most beautiful reason to deny oblivion, perhaps, but it did enable him to help the WoL triumph. I think of Zenos's philosophy as being connected to the concept of "Amor Fati"...largely because this quote explaining it sounds like something he'd say, or at least agree with on some level:

"and if our soul has trembled with happiness and sounded like a harp string just once, all eternity was needed to produce this one event—and in this single moment of affirmation all eternity was called good, redeemed, justified, and affirmed."

So he does have a meaningful role in Endwalker, as the "Amor Fati" against the Endsinger's "Memento Mori". I think that in this the story shows that his reason for living, while somewhat shallow, is not necessarily a morally wrong thing in and of itself (setting aside for a second all the people he hurt in his pursuit of that). It's just that, since it is a lonely pursuit that denies everything except for his target, it still feels empty. The core of the counterargument against the Endsinger's despair is that both pleasure and fulfillment are necessary to live a meaningful life in a meaningless universe, and that's why Zenos is here in Endwalker. Why he even exists in the story in the first place.

Even if you're one of the people who deeply hates Zenos...well, you probably wouldn't have read this whole thing if you did, but I still think it's important to read into characters you dislike, because every character in a story is written for a reason. Plus, trying to understand even their worst enemies is one of the WoL's key traits as of ShB and EW. With his last breaths, Zenos was trying to understand the WoL too - carrying this understanding of him with you as we move into our next adventures is the least you can do for your "friend".

#ff14 #ffxiv #zenos yae galvus #zenos viator galvus #endwalker #ffxiv meta #endwalker spoilers #meta posting on my art blog #god why did i spend my afternoon on this all this proves is that I need to be put in an English class again purely for enrichment purposes

[gardenschedule]

just came across your excellent post of quotes about the lennon-mccartney rivalry! there's sooooooo much to unpack there, but i was especially struck by your tags and hoping you could say more:

paul thrived with someone to compete against but it hurt john a lot and seemed to wear him down#i personally believe it's the number 1 cause of the breakdown of their relationship and the breakup itself#because it lead to john stacking his deck with allies like yoko and klein and looking for his own niches to succeed in without paul there

Well that's just my armchair psychoanalysis of John haha, I think he had some seriously debilitating (and mostly unwarranted) insecurities in general and particularly in regards to Paul. Their rivalry was always present but as long as their relationship was in a good place, they were working closely together and John could consider himself top dog, it was a positive motivating force for both of them and they could share the glory. But then Paul became increasingly independent (musically, artistically and socially), started churning out A-sides at a pace John struggled to match, and competing with Paul stopped being fun and was more of a source of unhappiness and stress. Then something happened (in India or around that time) that caused him to feel worthless and humiliated, while Paul was just fine, recently engaged, etc. If you're John Lennon and you've developed an inferiority complex along with a fear of being left behind or surpassed, what do you do? You strengthen your position with people like Yoko (a stalker with artistic cred who was willing to spend every moment with him) and Klein (a John guy who flattered him and made it clear he saw John as the boss), so you've got security and support. You free yourself from the pressure to compete with Paul in music by finding different ways to stand out, like politics and art. Then you're in a position where you don't need Paul and you don't need to beat him. You try to get some power back by provoking him with Yoko related antics and threatening a divorce you don't necessarily plan to follow through on - all he has to do to get you back is submit to your demands, then you have your top dog status back and you know he loves you enough to give you that. After all, when Ringo quit he got wooed back with flowers. When George quit, he got enough leverage to make changes to how they worked. But instead, Paul retreats to Scotland, inadvertently announces the breakup, then sues you. So you publicly rage about it and are deeply hurt for the rest of your life, even thought he technically just gave you what you asked for. Few journalists or authors bother to question this and just accept that you were too good for the Beatles and were bored by them and that's why the group broke up. The end.

Anyway hope that all made sense <3

#the beatles #paul mccartney #john lennon #mclennon

[sgiandubh]

So in other words, you agree, Sam and Cait are not very good actors as exemplified by the scene being them and not Beauchamp and Fraser. On that, agreed. She might be a C actor, he's definitely a D

Dear Beauchamp and Fraser Anon,

I suspect you might be a returning one, by the way, hoping to catch me unprepared with a very cheap sophism. Check this concept on Wikipedia if you wish, but I will give you my definition: manipulated or derailed logic, i.e. formally sustainable, but in reality just a fallacy; or, if you prefer, a bunch of crap, just for the sake of it. Also, it would be wise not to try these cheap tricks on someone trained to work with words and doing so every single day: you might find no satisfaction, ultimately.

Fun fact: I don't agree with any single word you just wrote. Sam and Cait are very good and gifted actors. Both of them. They did wonders with a very inconsistent script and under barbaric public pressure. What dragged you in here, Anon? Mrs. Gabaldon's florid, even luxuriant prose? What kept you in here, Anon? Blood and sperm and rape galore? I should wish you were honest, at least for once in your life, and let your answer be 'not really'.

What I meant by that phrase was something very simple: the actors' life experience deeply informing and sublimating their performance. If you think real and creative lives are strictly separate affairs in any intellectual endeavor, then you are probably completely unfamiliar with anything remotely related to writing, singing, playing (an instrument), acting, composing or painting. All these are akin to magic and all of the above are a summoning of sorts: ask any 'content creator', you will probably get a very similar answer. In Cait and Sam's case, their real life story nurtures and elevates their acting, despite people like you.

I am not an actor myself, but a long time ago it was acting that liberated me and taught me to not be afraid of anything. I did not make a living out of it, but I will always have the tools making me able to access that very special energy, any time I should need it. So, I can only offer you an educated opinion of These Two:

C is a very, very good actress. She is classy, sophisticated and knows instinctively how to occupy a stage or a set. She worked and progressed a LOT since Season 1, when it took me a good while to warm up to her. Add to this what I think is arresting beauty. Not really a C-level, in my book.

S is a wonderfully gifted actor who, unlike C, does not have any idea of this potential and, to be honest, gives the impression to even not care about it. He singlehandedly dominated some of the most difficult moments of the series (that unwatchable Wentworth episode comes to mind). His mastery of the Stanislavski and Lecoq methods and techniques is excellent. He is likeable, personable and has an innate emotional intelligence, helping him navigate and compensate the weaknesses of (yes, I insist!) an often insufficient script. I have already written about it, with arguments, when I found some very interesting parallels between The Fiery Cross episode and Laurence Olivier's performance in Shakespeare's Henry V. I will say it again: this guy has been grossly miscast, spare for JAMMF.

Perhaps you are unfamiliar with the whole preparation and rehearsal process when producing a movie or a series or a theatre show. These people don't just learn their lines by heart and turn up for readings and rehearsals. They also read and watch a lot of things that could help them build better, more credible characters. But what makes the sometimes very subtle difference between a decent performance and a stellar one is the amount of themselves they allow inside their acting. And in this respect, I think Sam and Cait have been very lucky, in what is a very clear case of Art (instinctively) imitating Life.

I doubt this answered your question and to be honest, I don't care.

#anon #fandom #shitshow

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

On The Topic Of Eddie.

First of all, he’s completely fucked. He’s screwed. I’ve said it a thousand times and I’ll say it again: I’ve never seen a character more doomed by the narrative. 

Second, Eddie’s halloween costume was Frankenstein’s Monster. And pray tell, what was the Monster’s whole thing? That he’s betrayed by his own creator, rejected / attacked by the town, deeply misunderstood & interpreted as a violent beast despite being well-read and helpful/benevolent. There are some interesting ties there - especially with the Misunderstood Despite Being Well-Read (switch out violent beast with forgetful klutz and it’s a perfect fit). That, plus Eddie’s description of “...brought back from the dead… by the scientist… stitches… a deathly pallor… a bit of a moral conundrum…”

Take that and add it to how Eddie resembles the “night” side of the clocks (this will be expanded upon with Sally in a different post), and how @/theneighborhoodwatch once pointed out that the color purple is only shown in relation to Eddie & may represent secrets, how in livestream trivia it was implied that Eddie doesn’t sleep at night as he is a “busy guy”, and how Sally’s “monster” only comes out at night and likely isn’t a monster at all - she is dramatic, an embellisher, and said to present things that she herself doesn’t know / is uncertain of As Fact, or at least present them as if she knows exactly what she’s talking about (even when she doesn’t and knows it). 

Another tidbit that I may have mentioned but I’ll bring it up again: Eddie’s eyelashes match the scalloped trim under Home’s windows. Three round curves. 

As an additional tally in the “Eddie is soooo fucked <3” scoreboard, Eddie is the mailman in a story where one of the first things we knew to be actually happening was the WHRP receiving letters of Welcome Home media (now I’m not saying Eddie sent them, certainly not. He may or may not have had a hand in helping with the delivery, but what I mean with this is how it ties in symbolically/abstractly/thematically.) That plus the red envelope, the general unfolding delivery theme… Eddie even has a holiday explicitly associated with him - Mail-In Time Day. 

Then there’s the fact that Eddie tends to express Knowledge and a more worldly disposition, in a way. Despite Frank being mentioned as the neighborhood “intellectual”, and he is so with facts, Eddie seems to have a deeper well of… let’s say cultural know-how. Pair that with how his bio is the only one to say/imply that he comes from elsewhere, that he’s been Around. Everyone else came from their family or don’t have a stated before, but Eddie? He was strongly implied to have delivered to a lot of different places - this is made into a running gag, but we all know a running gag for the Show has deeper implications and meanings. 

And the fact that his genuine knowledge as well as his past are consistently dismissed and/or played off for laughs…

IMPORTANT NOTE FOR THIS NEXT BIT: I CANNOT FIND THE OG ASK OUTSIDE OF SCREENSHOTS SO TAKE ALL OF THIS WITH A MASSIVE GRAIN OF SALT, AS THERE IS THE POSSIBILITY THAT THE ASK WAS FROM PRE-2021 AND SO - ALONG WITH THIS SPEC CHUNK - IT MAY BE NULL & VOID. BUT IT ALSO MAY NOT BE! SO I’LL TALK.

A while back - this is related I swear - there was an ask Clown answered where they talked about some of his notes on Eddie. The first part that I want to point out is how apparently Eddie is a good source for information (specifically How-To), but despite being talkative he doesn’t share unless prodded for it. This directly relates to the above points. 

Then there’s the one I really want to talk about - how Clown says that “He [Eddie] has a great deal of precision for someone who presents themselves as a semi-clumsy busybody!” 

That single line made me insane, personally. First, the wording. The choice of saying presents themselves as instead of something like for someone who is. There’s an obvious discrepancy between his precision and clumsiness. Now I don’t doubt that he may be a tad accident-prone, but what if Eddie is dialing up the clumsy nature to disarm his Neighbors / craft a specific reputation for himself / give himself leeway in other areas. 

On one hand, this is suspicious as fuck.

On the other hand, this is so adhd of him. 

One of the things rarely mentioned about it is how sometimes we adhders will play up our more “useless” traits in order to create a bit of a social safety net. Admittedly, I will sometimes play up my forgetfulness so that a) if i do forget things (truth more often than not), people aren’t surprised. b) when i remember things, people are pleasantly surprised. I mean, if people start thinking we’re competent then they’ll start Expecting things from us, which is never a good thing! 

And another thing that relates to it that that ask said - Clown says in it that Eddie is slow to anger, but he gets frustrated more easily. Which is fascinating and very relatable. They also said that he can’t talk about it without wandering too far, which - if the post is viable - has… implications. 

Anyway I am very confident that Eddie is in fact adhd. List of reasons (refer to the wiki trivia Eddie Dear section for sources):

He’s forgetful

He gets so involved with a task and cannot break away until it’s finished, thus often making him late

He’s particular

He has a watch - likely to help him keep track of time, implying that he has difficulty with the concept (time blindness!) 

He is very talkative and rambley 

& seems to have slight difficulty with picking up on social cues telling him when to / when not to speak

He’s slow to anger but more easily frustrated 

Beyond all of this I don’t have much to add that I haven’t already talked about in a previous post! I’m sure even so I’ve restated some (or a lot of) things - it Happens! 

In conclusion: bbg is so screwed & also adhd <3

#ok next up is the eddie & sally post #then it's the sally post bc mmm i have some Things to say about her #then frank & julie - i might combine their Own specs into the same post since there's not quite as much there and it very much intersects #then i'll give us a break with some Reality Mechanics spec- #IM SORRY BUT IM GOING TO BE POSTING LATE AT NIGHT! #you may have to come back to my blog & refresh if you want to read them all #much to say in so little time... #its a hell of my own making! i still have that last thing to draw & a stream test to do... #oh but this is the sort of crunch i enjoy... #crunching on something im passionate about is rarely a drag! #homebogging #wh speculation #welcome home speculation #not much to say in tags... im getting more Thorough with the post itself #leaving more meat there! less scraps to hide!

[ccsainzleclerc5516]

This Is Where You Stand With Me (part 4)

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x reader

Warnings: none

part 3 here

Y/N's pov

I walked into my room furious. I sat on the bed crying my eyes out trying to figure out why I let this get to me so much. What else could I expect from a guy who is clearly dissatisfied with himself and therefore has the need to vent on others. For a moment I wanted to run away from all of this and go back home. I don't want to let someone humiliate me like that for no reason. I've been through such things with my ex and when I said I would never let anyone do that again, I really meant it.

However, as I closed my eyes I started having flashbacks of that time in the apartment when Charles and I locked eyes and when he was gently squeezing my leg.

And that time on the yacht when he was holding my hair.

And that time when I gave him the bracelet.

I couldn't get him off my mind, and I blamed it on nothing else but the intoxication of alcohol.

"Then why weren't you there for me instead of her if you wished to?" I start thinking about this question of his. What did he mean by that? Did he want me to be there for him? Did he want me next to him then? Or did he say that just to confuse me and play with me.

My thoughts were interrupted by an unexpected knock on the door. At first I got scared and looked at my phone to see what time it was and it showed 3:45 a.m. I didn't want to open the door instead I kept silent so that whoever knocked would leave, but the knocking continued so I decided to gather my courage and approach the door.

"Who is it?" I ask. My heart was about to jump out of my chest with fear.

"It's me. Open, please." A great sense of relief comes over me when I hear Charles' voice. Without thinking, I open the door and put my hand over my chest breathing deeply.

"What's wrong? Are you alright?" Charles asks noticing me shaking a little.

"Nothing, you scared me. I thought it was, I don't know, I don't know who I thought it was at this hour." I say closing the door as he entered my room. "What do you want? Why are you here?"

"I came to apologize. I'm sorry for what I said, I didn't mean that." This is something I have heard too many times in my life.

"If you didn't mean it, you wouldn't have said it, so your apology means nothing to me. It's obvious from your behavior what you think of me and I'm done with you."

"What do you mean you're done with me?"

"It means I don't want to talk to you anymore or be around you unless it's work related." I say confidently standing my ground.

"Do you really think I would be here now in your hotel room at almost 4 in the morning if I wasn't sorry?" He asks taking a step closer to me.

"I never know where I stand with you, whether we are good or not, that's why I don't know why you are here now." Just as the words leave my mouth he puts his hands on my cheeks pulling me towards him and crashing his lips against mine. The kiss catches me completely off-guard, but I don't reject it, I give in to it.

He slowly pulls away resting his forehead against mine still holding my cheeks between his hands.

"This is where you stand with me." He whispers looking at my lips.

"Charles..what are you doing? Are you out of your mind..? " I say quietly still trying to process what just happened between us.

"I know, I know it's wrong. It's just, I've been wanting to do this ever since that time in the apartment. I really wanted to kiss you." He confesses and Sophie's words instantly come to my mind when she said 'It was so obvious, he didn't know where to look'. He was nervous because of me.

I lift up my head to look into his green eyes that were constantly glancing at my lips. "Just out of curiosity, if Sophie and Carlos hadn't come back, would you have kissed me?"

"I don't know. I know I wanted to, I still do." He says. "Did you want to kiss me?" I stammer at his question because I don't know the answer myself.

"No.."

"You can't tell me you have never thought about it." He says putting a strand of my hair behind my ear. I look away not wanting to admit that it has crossed my mind once or twice.

"I haven't.."

"You're lying. I can feel it." He makes me look at him by lifting my chin up with his index finger and gently kissing me again.

"Charles, stop. We can't do this." I say pulling away from the kiss.

"I know." He sighs.

"Please leave." I fight within myself to tell him to stay that I don't want him to go. I turn away from him and after a few seconds of him standing behind me I hear the door open and closes.

...

I woke up exactly at noon. As soon as I opened my eyes, of course, I immediately started thinking about everything that happened between me and Charles just a few hours earlier. I mean, I wasn't the one who kissed him, he kissed me, so I don't need to feel guilty.. Although, I didn't refuse the kiss either. Maybe I secretly wanted it to last a little longer. And just like that suddenly I was overwhelmed by an immense sense of guilt.

I take a look at my phone and see three missed calls from Sophie, 2 missed calls from Lando and one text message from Charles that he sent 10 minutes ago. I ignore everything but Charles' message for a moment. I quickly sit up in my bed mentally preparing myself before opening it.

*Can I just come to your room for a moment, please? We need to talk.*

*Okay.* I reply.

I know it's not smart for him to come, but I also know that we have to talk about what happened between us because we still work together and meet all the time and we can't pretend that nothing happened.

I rush out of bed before he comes and quickly wash my teeth and face. I get out of my pajamas and put on black tights and a loose, cropped white t-shirt. Since my hair smells terribly of club smoke, I decide to just put it up in a bun. A few minutes later and there is a knock on the door. I was really nervous so I took a deep breath before opening it. As soon as I open the door, Charles quickly comes inside and closes them.

"Hey." He says, the nervousness is clearly heard in his voice.

"Hey."

"I just came to tell you that I'm sorry for what happened this morning. It shouldn't have happened. It was obviously a mistake and I don't know what came over me." He says avoiding to look me in the eyes. "I love Ava and I just..I don't know what I was thinking." His words feel as if someone stabbed me in the stomach with a fork. I don't know why they hurt when they shouldn't. Of course I didn't think he would come and declare his love for me, but..what did I expect anyway? I don't even know myself. I am confused as never before.

"So anyway, can we please forget about the kiss and move on from this like it never happened?" He asks as he looks into my eyes for the first time since he came.

"Yeah, it meant nothing so it will be as if nothing happened. Don't worry." I bite the inside of my cheek and look away. Neither do I want anyone to know about that kiss because I don't want to destroy anyone's relationship, nor do I want everyone to look at me as the one who ruined someone's life. So I guess this works for both of us.

"Okay. Thank you." He reaches for the lock and turns before opening the door. "I'm sorry, y/n." I say nothing back to him just look at him while waiting for him to leave and he does, leaving me in complete chaos of my emotions.

...

The last GP before a slightly longer break of a month was in Belgium at the end of July.

Honestly, I'm really looking forward to this one-month break because I have to admit, I got tired of traveling. I missed Sophie's apartment and lounging around all day without any pressure. I even missed some kind of 'normal' everyday life that includes cooking and cleaning while my music is turned up to the limit and I'm flying around the apartment in my pajamas and a bun.

I missed being in one place, so as soon as we got back I holed up in the apartment and didn't go out for the first 3 days at all and I really enjoyed being all by myself.

And while others are getting engaged, getting pregnant and planning their lives, there's me sitting on the couch in front of the TV and waiting for the delivery man to call me that he's here and hand me all the packages I ordered while I was away and that currently is the greatest excitement in my life and I'm totally fine with that.

Just as I was thinking about whether one of the packages will arrive today, my phone rings and I instantly answer it.

"Hello? Miss y/l/n, are you home? I've got some packages for you." The delivery man says.

"Hello, yes I am. The apartment is on the fourth-"

"Could I ask you to come down in front of the building to get the packages because I'm really in a big hurry, it's almost the end of my working hours and I still have a lot of work to do, so I'd really appreciate it if you could come down in front of the building. I'll be there in 5 minutes." He politely asks.

"Of course, no problem, see you there."

I quickly put on my converse and take the apartment keys. I remember that on the way I could take out the trash, but also take a look at the lasagna that I put in the oven to bake. For a second I leave my phone and keys on the kitchen counter so that I can take the trash from the bin and then the phone starts ringing again.

"I'm coming!" I say into the phone, take the trash and quickly head downstairs.

After the man kindly handed me my three packages and after I threw out the trash, I excitedly ran back to the apartment. Everything was fine until I got to the door.

"No, no...no!!!" Here comes the shock when I realize I left the keys on the kitchen counter.

"No y/n no!! Fuck!" I drop the packages onto the floor and start cursing myself for being so stupid and locking myself out of the apartment. I stop for a second to think what should I do next. Who to call? Luckily I brought my phone with me otherwise I would have sat down and cried in front of the door. In a state of panic, the first number I dial is Sophie's and after a few rings she answers.

"Hi y/n!"

"Sophie..I'm stupid. I'm so stupid, please help me. I don't know what to do."

"What? What happened?" She asks worriedly.

"I locked myself out of the apartment. Please don't ask how, just tell me if anyone has a key to your apartment besides me and you to come unlock it for me?" I ask desperately, but stay hopeful.

"Oh y/n..Okay, I thought something happened to you. You scared me. There's another key, but it's in Carlos' apartment."

"Oh that's just great..Oh my God Soph what do I do?" I start panicking again.

"Let me see with Carlos and then I'll get back to you okay? Give me a minute." She says hanging up the phone. I slide down the door putting my hands over my face. I pray to God that none of the neighbors come by and see me crouching in front of the door. Stupid stupid girl.

After about 5 minutes my phone buzzes and it shows a text from Sophie.

*Charles has the keys from Carlos' apartment. He's on his way.*

...

last part Lovers here

a/n: okay so after this part comes Lovers actually where after all these "events" y/n locks herself out of the apartment and who other than Charles comes to the rescue! With that I stopped writing the fanfic because I got bored..so that's all! Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it! Bye!

#charles leclerc smut #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc #carlos sainz one shot #carlos sainz fluff #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz #carlos sainz x reader #f1 #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #lando norris x reader #lando norris #lando norris smut #lando norris imagine #lando x reader

[mrs-weasley-reid]

Slap Back to Vegas

platonic Spencer Reid x geniusbau!reader | part 2

part 1 | part 3 | part 4

Summary: Spencer was broken, the most broken he has ever been. As much as bau!reader wants to coddle him with sweet words like the rest of the team does, she can't because she made a promise six years ago.

Warning: mentions of death, self-harm, violence. cursing. short-tempered reader. (tell me if I missed anything)

A/N: this might be a bit heavy, so please be mindful as you read.

— ✿ — ✿— ✿ ✿ ✿

"Reid, answer the damn phone and stop moping." You hung up the phone with a thud, your nostrils flaring.

It has been two weeks. Two weeks since Spencer began grieving over Maeve's death, shutting people out. You were no exception.

And you weren't one to be insensitive or inconsiderate or impassive or uncaring or any other words to paint you out as the inhumane agent, but Spencer needed a wake up call.

No. He needed more than just a wake up call. He needed one hell of a delicious eye opening slap on his face. He needed to stop blaming himself, killing himself with guilt.

It has been six years since you promised to be his one friend who would never hesitate to be real with him. You were true to your word.

You may not fully relate to his grief, but you knew his stupid attempt to wallow in guilt would not do him any good.

"He can take all the time he needs," Hotch announced as his focus remained at the folder on his lap.

You rolled your eyes, "No, he can't."

Hotch gave you a stern look. The look of a disrespected father being questioned for his parenting skills. "Why don't you focus your energy on the case?" He made sure his authority was clear.

"95% of those who loses their partners are at risk of suicide." You stated nonchalantly, flipping through your own copy of file. "I'm just saying. Give him space all you want. Exactly what he needs to hang himself." You shrugged, as if your words weren't horrible. They were. You knew they were.

Rossi was the one to speak your name in a warning tone.

Sometimes you wished you wouldn't be the one to shake some sense into Spencer. You grew frustrated. Genius and empty minded. Just like Spencer, emotion was a difficult area for you to dabble in.

So here you were, the villain in the BAU team's story.

A lot of them grew increasingly annoyed at you. They thought, at first, it was denial. Denial that Spencer was grieving. That your friend was hurt. Then, they were left to think it was jealousy.

You and Spencer have been awfully close for the past six years, but Maeve's existence seemed to surprise you. So, they thought, maybe you were jealous of her. Because Spencer loved her dearly. Because Spencer loved someone else.

And boy were they wrong.

You love Spencer? Correct. You're in love with Spencer? Maybe you should be the one hanging yourself. You cared for him deeply, finding friendship in the midst of tragedies. However, you don't find it in yourself to love him romantically.

As harsh as your words were, you knew sweet nothings wouldn't get through Spencer. It would just make him push people away further, just like what he was doing right now.

You sighed in defeat, obliging to Hotch's advice. You directed your energy to the case, helping them the best you could, probably even better than Spencer. You were a genius, too, after all.

— ✿ — ✿— ✿ ✿ ✿

Voice mail greeted you once again, you closed your eyes in agony. You were losing patience, much less hope.

"Spencer—" It was rare. You never called him by his first name. "How am I supposed to slap you some good ole reality if you're over there acting like you're dead? A simple, 'I'm alive, leave me alone,' would be fine. Spencer, I don't entirely know how you feel, but trust me, I know it's hard. Can you at least respond to the others? Blow on the speaker or something just so they know you're alive. I'm really mad at you. I look like the bad guy here. Just know that once you feel better, I will physically slap you back to Vegas."

A weak smile urged the corner of Spencer's lips as he listened to your irritated voice. That was the first time his lips even moved. He forgot how much he loved to talk.

You sighed, placing the phone's microphone closer to your lips. "You're being stupid, Spencer. You're being unfair to everyone who has been with you for years. They want to help you. Let them help you. Plus, I hate that everyone thinks I'm in love with you. Please tell me that makes you want to puke too." You paused. He could only imagine the grimace on your face, and that made him chuckle. "You must respond to them and tell them how much you love me as your annoying sister. Ugh! Fine. Mope around all you want—"

Spencer quickly played the next voicemail you left him, knowing how persistent you were as a person. He knew you weren't about to cut your speech off.

"This is fucking stupid. Who the hell made the decision to make voicemails three minutes long? Why am I even leaving you a voicemail? I don't even leave my mother a voicemail. Do me a favor, make it easier for me and answer the freaking phone, you son of a bitch!" Spencer couldn't take it anymore. He fell on fits of laughter in the tightness of his apartment. His stomach cramped, his hands cradling it to ease the shortness of his breath.

Spencer collapsed on the floor. Tears glided down his temple. What made the tears bearable was the fact that they weren't of grief. They were of momentary happiness. Would you be glad to know that your demise cheered him up a bit? Probably not.

A groan escaped you. He knew you've grown impatient of him. You didn't have much patience to begin with. "I meant your Dad, by the way. Diana would agree with me." He nodded as if you were in front of him. "Spencer. I wasn't oblivious. I am a genius, too, you know. Why does everyone always forget that I have 184 IQ? I knew there was someone. You always memorized phone booth locations first before working on the geographic profile. You're always smiling after a call from God knows whatever phone booth you wandered to. I knew it was someone who made you happy. If everyone knew about your girlfriend, I knew about the silly little book you're probably holding right now."

You took a well needed pause, your tongue went dry and empty of words, but your mind was running a thousand miles per hour. Spencer heard you shoo someone away and snorted at the shortness of your temper. And at that point, he found anything you did hilarious.

Clearing your throat, you continued. "I would be lying if I said that I wasn't happy for you. And a clown if I said I don't feel an ounce of sympathy for your situation. But guess what? I made a promise. So listen carefully. You, Dr. Spencer Walter Reid, are being excruciatingly stupid. There are people who wants to support you. You deny it? You're not so special, Spencer. You're just a genius. We're geniuses who struggle in life and as far as statistics could go, we shouldn't dumb ourselves down when emotions strike. We're too unapproachable to deny friends. So if there are people who wants to hold your hand, take it. And I'm sure Maeve—"

His fingers shakily played the last voicemail you left him. The mention of her name still ached his chest. If it was JJ who left him the voicemail, he would've turned the player off and cry for about an hour.

Somehow, you saying her name felt serene. As if Maeve was your best friend and you were relaying him a message from her in the meanest way.

You could've texted him a long essay. But no. You knew he needed to hear every word that left your mouth.

"Maeve wanted to meet with you because she didn't want you to feel alone. Don't you think moping by yourself defeats that purpose? I don't know her personally. But in the small time I saw the two of you together? At gun point and tied up, for sure, but I knew she loved you just as much as you love her. She wouldn't want you to be alone right now. No one is asking you to be okay. It's okay to be depressed. It's okay to grieve. But at least have the decency to let people help you. No one is forcing you to go back to work. Well... I am."

Spencer rolled his eyes and shook his head. Of course you were. You hated when he got the luxury of getting more day offs than you did. You hated that there was always something that made him vulnerable. All jokes, but a little bit of it was true.

He would never forget the day you got shot—luckily just grazed by the bullet—and Hotch called you in the middle of getting stitches, whether you remembered the unsub's face and was up to talk to a sketch artist. You glared blood and daggers at Spencer that day as he sat across you, an ice pack on his head to tender his concussion.

"I can handle the case without you, but—" You let three seconds pass. Spencer thought you ended the message there, but you spoke again. "I don't feel comfortable when a friend of mine with 187 IQ is being stupid. It distracts me. I worry. Hear that? I'm worried. That's very concerning. So please, respond to the others. Open the door for Penelope and JJ. Answer Derek's calls. Maybe cry in Hotch's office. Join his widower club. Is it too early to joke about that? I don't know. But I would never know if you keep being a jerk and don't answer me."

Spencer stood up. He has decided. He was going to let you slap him back to Vegas.

— ✿ — ✿— ✿ ✿ ✿

You had no idea whether Spencer was still breathing. And if he ever answered Derek's calls, you weren't aware. The whole team made sure not to mention him when he called Derek, or had a short conversation with Penelope.

It was unfair to you, really. They had no idea how much influence you had on Spencer that he began to work his way around the profile. Even better, ask Penelope to fly him to where everyone was.

Nevertheless, you racked your brain for any reasons why the unsub chose to use blood as his paint. You left the group when the lab report arrived, locking yourself inside the ladies room. You had had enough of them criticizing you and undermining your thoughts because they were still upset over your attitude towards Spencer.

Meanwhile, as you bit your nails in the privacy of the precinct's restroom, one specific curly-haired genius arrived.

"What other reasons would he have for separating the plasma from the blood?" Hotch examined. He was particularly waiting for your answer, but you were too busy rebelling against them in the restroom.

"It's a habit." Spencer interjected, earning everyone's attention.

"Reid," Derek said in suprise.

"Spence," JJ exclaimed simultaneously, relieved at the sight of him. She immediately engulfed him into a tight hug.

"I didn't expect you back this soon. You sure you're ready?" Hotch's usual austere brows softened ever so slightly.

"No, but I think I figured something out." Spencer flashed a tight-lipped smile, allowing everyone to know that he was coping just fine. "And I need someone to slap me back to Vegas." A soft chuckle vibrated out of him.

Everyone's eyebrows knitted. Was he making a joke? If he was, they had no idea what it was about. They couldn't find the humor in it.

"He's a hemophiliac." You announced as you walked back in the bullpen, unaware of Spencer's presence. "Some hemophiliacs inject plasma into their wounds—"

You were cut off by a huge impact on your body. Your arms were stretched out, processing what was happening.

Spencer was hugging you. That was rare. Almost as rare as you calling him by his first name. Not that the two of you had never hugged before, but it was only when one of you almost died, and needed the assurance that both of you were, in fact, alive.

"Thank you," He whispered next to your ear, his embrace tightening for a few seconds before letting you go. You have yet saved him from distress for the nth time, and he didn't know what he would ever do if you decided to stop.

Spencer placed his elbow atop your head, facing everyone. "And she's not in love with me. We would rather shoot each other." He said with a grin, taking everyone by surprise.

You scoffed, swatting his arm off your head. "Do you feel better?"

It was a mistake. He should've not nodded. He should've kept his sullen face, and maybe you wouldn't have glared at him whilst cracking your fingers.

You rubbed your palms together, nodding. "Good, because I wasn't lying when I said I was going to slap you—"

"—back to Vegas." Spencer finished your sentence, the recent sorrow in his eyes replaced by fear for his life.

Rossi turned to the others, "I think we owe our second genius a generous apology."

And they all agreed in silence, watching as you demanded Spencer to stay still whilst he ran around the precinct.

#spencer reid imagine #dr spencer reid #ssa spencer reid #spencer reid #spencer x reader #criminal minds fandom #spencerreid #criminal minds #cm #criminalminds #fem!reader #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid x fem!readr #spencer reid x reader

[girls-alias]

Have A Little Faith - Dean Winchester P9

Title: Have A Little Faith - Dean Winchester Part 9

Words: 998

Relations: Dean Winchester X Reader

TW: SPOILERS S1E12

Taglist: @deans-baby-momma, @qinnroki, @moldyorangees, @creative-writing92, @lokischickadee, @take-it-on-the-run, @daisy-the-quake, @ilikw, @selfdestructionandrhum

Part 8

We pulled up to a tent in the middle of a muddy field. Dean instantly groaned in annoyance. I smirked to stop myself from laughing. Sam climbed out of the car and rushed to Dean's side to help. Sam helped him out of the car as I climbed out the other side.

"I've got it," Dean protested not wanting his help. Dean thought this was as ridiculous as I did. I walked around to be with Dean, he smiled at me weakly but rolled his eyes at Sam. "Man, you're a lying bastard. I thought you said we were going to see a doctor." Dean groaned as he slammed the car door.

"I believe I said a 'specialist'. Look, Dean, this guy is supposed to be the real deal," Sam argued but Dean sighed wrapping his arm over my shoulder and letting me help him walk.

"Man, I can't believe you brought me to see some guy who heals people out of a tent," Dean groaned as he walked, most of his weight resting on my shoulders.

"Reverend le Grange is a great man." Some old woman commented as she walked past. I raised an eyebrow stopping myself from laughing.

"Yeah, that's nice," Dean's tone showed how enlightening her comment was. I chuckle, earning a smile from Dean. Sam watched as someone argued with a police officer. "What do you say we leave Sam here," Dean whispered in my ear making me giggle as I shook my head continuing to lead him to the tent.

"Look, when people see something they can't explain, there's controversy," Sam commented not noticing that Dean and I were talking about something else.

"Yeah but come on, Sam. A faith healer?" Dean questioned.

"Maybe it's time to have a little faith, Dean," Sam commented but Dean scoffed. Dean seemed to think for a second before he spoke.

"You know what I've got faith in? Reality. Knowing what's going on." Dean seemed to burst so I stopped to look at him. He seemed surprised that I stopped so pulled away to look at me confused.

"If you know evil is out there how can't you believe good's out there too?" Sam asked but Dean's eyes were on me. Searching my face to find the answer as to why I stopped.

"You asked to keep me if you survived," I reminded and he placed a hand on my cheek, clearly noticing my eyes filling at the thought of Dean not even willing to try anything to be cured. He stepped towards me. "I just thought you'd be willing to fight. We've all seen what evil does to good people from hunting and we're always the ones fighting to save them. We're the good in the world, we save them when no God does but to save you we need help, Sam and I are fighting for you like he always does on hunts but this time praying to some idea of hope is better than doing nothing at all," I ranted and Dean smiled as he sighed. He licked his lips and nodded. I smiled, searching his face.

"I'd like to kiss you right now," He commented staring at me deeply, his eyes searching for the tiniest bit of evidence that I didn't want him to. I glanced at Sam seeing him smiling and turning to look the other way. I grinned before grabbing the back of Dean's neck and guiding myself to him. He smiled as he leaned down to kiss me. It was slow but full of meaning. I pulled away to smile up at him, and he seemed to just smile at me for a moment, it was plain to see that he was happy.

"Aw, what a beautiful newlywed couple," An old woman commented as she passed us. I rolled my eyes, God I hate religion buffs. Dean chuckled as he watched me.

"Let's just get this over with so we can leave," I sighed making Dean chuckle as he put his arm over my shoulder again we were about to walk in when a woman stepped in front of us.

"God works in mysterious ways," The skinny blonde with a fake smile beamed at Dean. Is this bitch blind? Is that why she's here she clearly mustn't see me standing here.

"Maybe he does," I replied mocking her voice slightly. She didn't even look at me she just kept smiling at Dean. My Dean! My focus was on the woman but I could see Sam trying not to laugh. "You've convinced him, maybe you should move out the way so we can get in and you can put your umbrella away," I don't why I was saying it, she just looked stupid. The high-maintenance type cries if her hair gets wet.

"I'm Dean, this is Sam-" Dean started introducing and I questioned if he even remembered I was there. This boy is trying to be killed. "And this is my beautiful girlfriend, Y/N," He finished and I smiled to myself realising I was so annoyed at this bitch flirting with Dean in front of me that I thought too soon.

"I'm Layla," She added shaking Dean's hand and no one else's. I ran my tongue across my teeth. I will hit her, I will make out with Dean right now to mark my territory. Maybe Dean's too attractive. She went to speak so I coughed loudly and walked through Dean and Layla's eye contact as I marched into the tent. Dumb blonde thinking she can have Dean if she makes googly eyes at him. I took a seat saving space for Sam and Dean but right now I didn't care if someone took the seats.

Dean's too attractive! I rolled my eyes as I crossed my arms. I sunk into my chair huffing and puffing as I waited for the service to start. Who am I kidding? Dean is too hot. Everyone is going to fall in love with him.

Masterlist

Working On

Taglist

Part 10

#fanfiction #fanfic #supernatural #dean winchester #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester fanfiction #dean x reader #dean #dean winchester fic #dean winchester x reader #spn fanfic #spn

[myfaveisfuckable]

Janeway:

- will literally martyr herself at the drop of a hat

- will kill you if she thinks it's what she needs to do for her crew

- will not kill you if she thinks you've got residue humanity after decades as a borg drone even though realistically she really should've (tho ofc we're all glad she didn't)

- will violate your personal rights if she thinks you're not "human" enough and also compare you to a replicator (yes I'm still salty about that. wait what was the question? right, i'll get back on track)

- will say absolutely deranged shit like "then be a good rat and find us the cheese" in the a tone that makes me lose my mind and basically give everyone a crush on her (and also mommy issues) if they spend too long in her vicinity, leading to a very loyal crew

- her solution to having a crush on a fictional character was to delete his wife (very relatable but also very not normal)

- she wanted to watch hot Q on Q sex (possibly for scientific reasons) and looked very disappointed when it was severely underwhelming

- WHO brings a bathtub on a spaceship???

- there's more but y'know

Dokja:

1. Introduced as a bland everyman only made exceptional by circumstance, slowly revealed to be the most batshit, suicidally depressed, bisexual maniac in existence. Uses self-sacrifice like a tool and is completely unaware of how beloved he is by the people he keeps pulling into his fold because he is so deeply and utterly convinced that he is fundamentally unlovable. He's like sixty foundational traumas stacked in a trench coat and he's always sixty steps ahead of everyone else and he loves the people he chooses so so dearly and people keep calling him ugly even though he's canonically pretty average and holy shit dude get some therapy please

2. do NOT let the pretty official art fool u. this is the most average 28 year old salaryman going through the absolute most in the apocalypse. ORV is a story about the most average man on earth with the most mundane, depressing life. and one story that he read to cope with it all. he's just some guy, but he is also the most beloved specialest guy. not because he had some hidden talent. just because he loved a story ferociously and also he likes getting in trouble on purpose. he is the most unreliable narrator you will ever find. every piece of the universe loves him for his average stupid self. you will understand when you read 👍

3. GHBJNKML i am praying someone has sent him in but. unreliable narrator the most ever and also i just. love him so much. orv in itself is such a goo dnovel but like. kim dokja is the definition of love and the most caring person but also he's suffered so much and while. yknow we're introduced to him as a kind of nerd but like. listen he's so fucked up juts LISTEN

4.He looks like a neet-pulled office worker. Spoilers:

turns out to be one of the oldest things in the world and the only being keeping it going and alive. He needs to be there to keep the world going. Also, he got like kind of adopted by Persephone and hades. Like his blorbo is real and in love with him. But this man looks so average that people call him ugly to his face just because he’s surrounded by absolute gorgeous people.

#poll #tournament #orv #kathryn janeway #captain janeway #kim dokja #star trek voyager

[liesmyth]

Blood cancer, necromancy and physical ailments

This started as a reflection on the evergreen “but could John have healed Cytherea’s cancer?” and then it went off… somewhere else, namely necromancers being physically frail and what it means for the worldbuilding and thematically. Bear with me etc.

what do we know about the nature of Cytherea’s cancer?

Very little! We know it runs in the necromantic line of the Seventh, but we don’t actually know how house heirship is passed, so we don’t know if it only affects one / a few family lines or most of the House. Cytherea-as-Dulcie says that her family “wanted her to keep the genes going,” implying that the illness was rare outside her immediate family, but Dulcinea doesn’t seem to have been under the same pressure, from what little we know.

Another guess is that the Seventh hereditary cancer is tied to necromancy in some way, as it seems to only manifest in descendants who also exhibit necromantic attitude. If that’s the case, then it’s likely it is a strain of leukemia that manifested post-resurrection and didn’t exist before (like necromantic ability) and like necromancy, it can’t be studied properly – because the understanding of the illness barely evolved from Cytherea’s time to Dulcie.

[FOUR more bullet points under the cut]

why I don’t think John lied about not being able to heal Cytherea

A variety of reasons. The obvious one is that it would be pointless not to heal her, if he could. The Lyctors dismiss the theory that cancer makes a necromancer stronger (“Seventh House woo-woo,” cit. Augustine) and so does Palamedes, who studied it for years. I'm going to assume they're right. Then there are no benefits to John in keeping Cytherea ill, except watching her suffer, and this is deeply at odds with John’s entire shtick in which they’re all a happy family and he makes a point to personally serve everyone at dinner because he’s just some guy. John likes to think of himself as the good guy, even when he's being actively terrible, and there’s no way to spin ‘let someone live with cancer for millennia’ in a way that makes you look good to yourself.

Additionally: if he had lied, then it would have been with the knowledge that it would backfire horribly if it ever came out he had, and completely shatter for good the happy family act. Conversely, the Lyctors have had ten thousand years to consider their long list of grievances against John, and they all studied Cytherea's cancer to figure out how to help her when she joined them (per HtN) but don’t even seem to consider the possibility that John refused to help when he could have. Mercy, the ultimate anatomy savant, is so pissed off at John that she’s ready to kill him — I think if she had even vague suspicions it would have come out in that confrontation. The only reason it didn't, IMO, is because she knew how the illness worked better than we readers do and had reasons to confirm John's claims herself.

if John wasn’t able to heal Cytherea. Why? he’s God, etc

This is where I take a step back and look at the broader picture. Necromancers are frail. They are physically slight, have low endurance, and are physically weak. Judith is a decorated officer but she runs a 10 minutes km (a fast-paced walk) and Ianthe can barely hold up her arms to do her hair (probably an exaggeration by Corona, but not by much). These are also people who could kill someone at a distance with only moderate effort, but can’t turn that power inward to give their own bodies a boost. The same goes for the various reproductive issues we hear of in the series – Harrow’s parents, of course, but also Abigail and Magnus being unable to conceive even with all the resources of the Fifth.

It seems that necromancy can be turned against others – manipulating their bodies – with a lot more ease than it can be used to fix necromancers’ bodies, which have some level of ‘flawed by design’, probably related to the way their bodies process thanergy. There's no juicing up Judith’s lungs to make her run faster, and necromancy doesn’t make Abigail and Magnus's genes compatible for reproduction. IF the Seventh House cancer is tied to necromancy in some way, it seems plausible that it can’t be “suppressed” from the organism of a necromancer, because it’s just another facet of their abilities.

(That said, it all hinges on that big IF! My theory that it would make very little sense for John not to heal Cytherea if it was within his abilities IMO holds whether the cancer is tied to her power or not, but if it’s the second one then I can’t begin to guess why.)

the #THEME of it all

Look. I just think that “some things can't be fixed by necromancy if they are rooted in it” is pretty plausible as a worldbuilding detail (setting the limits of a magical system) and also it really resonates as a doylistic writing choice. Magic has a price, and so on. I just think it’s neat!

(And, again, I think it makes more sense as a framing for the characters’ actions, from how John likes to play the good guy to how Cytherea probably has some amount of control over the tumors in her body, post Lyctorhood, just as Lyctors have detailed control over every other cells in their organisms. There’s something about the way she decided to go on for millenia, “mostly cancer and a little bit woman” as a funeral monument to her lost humanity. I’m not eloquent enough to put it into words but I’m gonna link to these tags by @thewinterstale on this OP by @theriverbeyond. Big thoughts, big brains etc.)

IF cancer doesn’t make someone stronger, why do people think it does?

We know “thanergy boost at the moment of death” is a real thing. It is a leap that slowly dying for years = more power during your lifetime, but it’s not an unreasonable conclusion. What is odd is that we have multiple informed accounts that it doesn’t (Augustine, Palamedes) but the idea keeps being perpetuated.

(Ianthe seems to believe that it does, but fwiw this is not Ianthe’s area of study and I find it plausible that she’s just repeating something she has been told which, again, makes sense superficially)

Anyway. Cytherea knower @thewinterstale​ has suggested that maybe Cytherea herself is the reason why the Seventh House, to the present day, believes that cancer = power. She was incredibly talented despite the illness, so much that the Emperor summoned her specifically as the last disciple in his super-exclusive circle. And that was the last the Seventh House saw of her.

If the memory of Cytherea that lives on was that of an incredibly powerful necromancer, the miracle at Rhodes, cancer-ridden and so powerful… that’s enough fuel for a dangerous myth. Maybe, through the millennia, all the Seventh House hoped to achieve was to produce another Cytherea – suffering and all

#tlt thoughts #cytherea #seventh house #tlt theories #DEATH. DYING. ILLNESS. PRICE OF POWER #I JUST THINK IT'S NEAT #the locked tomb #tlt

[dollypopup]

FINE, if no one else is gonna say it. . .

it is WEIRD that we as a fandom are so okay with Debling being a 'serious' option for Penelope. She is a 19 year old woman. She is a third daughter from an unpopular family who has no father. This is a 30 year old man, 40, even, who is pursuing a teenager. All the 'oh, he notices her as a woman!'

and none of us are asking why it is that a seemingly 'perfect' guy is out here going for a woman on the outskirts of her society, who most people do not pay attention to? a powerful man with a lot of money and a title pursuing a woman who is largely unnoticed in her world, in a family without a father, who doesn't have, on the surface, any other options? our fandom doesn't talk about how big of a power imbalance they have between them, or even how Penelope is being styled to look extra young in contrast to him?

she looks like his DAUGHTER. He's even styled to be a more mature man in their society. Compare him to the fashions of younger men. Clean shaven, sleeker lines in their fashion,

He is, in fact, most comparable to Will, who is a married man with three children.

Debling legit looks like he could be her father. That is NOT a 20 year old man. That man is in his 30s at best, and in his 40s at worst. Which gives him and Pen a decade or two of age difference. Add on the fact that he's titled and she's a literal teenager, and it just gives me the MAJOR ick.

People are praising the idea that Debling makes Penelope feel like a 'woman' but as someone who has been a 19 year old woman with much older men interested in me (especially a PLUS SIZE 19 year old woman with older men interested in me) claiming I am oh so mature, it's. . .uh, not usually a GOOD thing?

We'll demonize Colin for being a 22 year old man who doesn't see Penelope as a romantic option because for the grand majority of the time he's known her, she's been a minor, but see absolutely nothing wrong with the idea that the production has given her a suitor who is an outsider of their society, who could take her away wherever if she actually agrees to marry him, and now have this 19 year old woman no one is going to really check on to do with as he so pleases? And we're wanting him to. . .what? Make out with her? Take her virginity? Just the thought of that makes me deeply uncomfortable.

We'll talk about the power imbalance between Colin and Penelope, about how he has experience that she doesn't and how that can cause concern, but absolutely NOTHING about the ACTUALLY CONCERNING power imbalance between her and Debling? Colin is 22 and a third son, he and Penelope have known each other for years, he is safe. He would never take advantage of her or lead her astray, he cares about her as a person and then comes to love her and desire her in ways outside of friendship. Debling has known her for less than a month, is likely in his mid thirties, has a title and money and power, and felt okay with feeling up on her in public in an era when holding HANDS was considered scandalous.

Imma need us to give Monopoly Man more smoke because I am confused as to how he's oh so perfect and yet the option he chose for a wife is an unpopular and financially unstable 19 year old woman who is largely ignored in society. None of us find that weird?

Meanwhile, we have Colin who has, yes, held Penelope's hand and called her by her Christian name, but has also complimented her on things that aren't just her appearance, and who has asked how she's been, and tried to help her, and called her his friend, and wrote her letters, and cared about her, and I reiterate, is much much closer to her in age and can relate to her considerably more.

The whole 'oh, well Penelope should sleep with Debling to give her and Colin more even ground' is CREEPY. Colin slept around with sex workers on his travels because that's the regency appropriate safe and responsible way to explore such things for men of his age and status. He is following examples his brothers, whom he trusts and loves deeply, have set for him. He is not exploiting anyone. He is paying for a service and that service is being provided. And he's an attractive man who is young and respectful, these women are FINE, so don't go pearl clutching over how he's being oh so fetishistic just because he's exploring kink. Penelope doing these things with Debling would be HIM taking advantage of HER, and putting her in a very vulnerable and scary position. If that actually happens, what options does she have? He could say he ruined her and that would be game over for her, she has no other choices or options outside of that. And if it's actually true, she is TRAPPED.

I need this fandom to be so serious here right now. You don't ship Pebling. You ship Penelope being seen as desirable, and COLIN finds Penelope desirable. He will make that very VERY evident. We don't need an almost 40 year old man to pursue her and do nothing but compliment how hot she is and feel up on her in public to do that. He doesn't see her as a person, but Colin does. We should be rooting for one of these men, and it's not the one a lot of us are.

#polin #penelope bridgerton #colin bridgerton #anti debling #anti pebling #imma be real y'all it gives me the major ick #how has no one else talked about this??? #i know luke is 31 but he can pull of a man in his 20s #and nicola can pull off a woman of penelope age #debling's actor? no shade to him but he CANNOT pull off a man in his 20s #why is no one talking about this????.

[canonizzyhours]

I'm into blackhands and I love the father figure thing.

The big mystery with this ship was always that season one gave us a pretty good idea about Izzy's feelings for Ed but Ed's feelings for Izzy were a puzzle and no fandom interpretation really made sense. The Izzy hater argument that Ed just didn't care about Izzy couldn't explain why the biggest crime boss in the Caribbean would tolerate all the backtalk and insubordination from a henchman and tried to stop him from leaving, but the popular canyon take that Ed's extremely possessive of Izzy also made no sense when Ed has no reaction except "well, that's that" when Izzy does leave. Both sides tried to square the circle but none of their arguments ever made sense. And for most of season two it got worse. Ed's attitude toward Izzy bounced around from indifference to "loved you best I could" to wanting "closure" to ignoring Izzy to vague friendliness to open weeping to "he was a fucking nightmare, what a guy." I couldn't figure out what they were trying to say, or if they even cared and were just having Ed do whatever helped the plot move along.

BUT THEN!!! We got the father figure thing and it all suddenly made sense! Ed's complicated contradictory behavior around Izzy is EXACTLY what you see from someone who has a fucked-up relationship with a parental figure they resent deeply because the parent is always trying to pressure them to become a version of themself that they hate, but they also can't stop themself from craving the parent's approval. And this is REALLY HOT I do not understand why the rest of the edizzy guys are complaining about getting familyzoned like this is somehow retconning the sexual aspect of Ed's feelings for Izzy, DADDY KINK IS INCREDIBLY COMMON. This is great! We should have all sorts of fic about it! Where is all my edizzy daddy kink fic!

#38.

related posts: #22

#ofmd #izzy hands #edward teach #edizzy #canonizzyhours

[meruz]

hi im putting all my asks in one post again. these are from like the past month and a half approx? some digimon thoughts some tmnt thoughts some art musings u know the usual

@waywardistics YAYY thank you so much for ordering! I'm glad it got to you & that you are enjoying it!

this is kind of a missive to everyone who ordered but: I am very nervous about pre-orders whenever I do them... nervous that not very many people will order, nervous that there will be supply chain or production dilemmas and I won't be able to get copies out to people in a timely fashion, nervous about having people's money but having an indeterminate amt of time where i have not yet "held up my part of the bargain" etc etc SO. THANK U GUYS...FOR ORDERING and being patient and im so glad it got to y'all

@seanonthemoon (idk why i cant tag u BUT) interesting... i gotta be honest I don't think abt the crests that much. i agree that they're very much like heres the "girl" crest heres the "nerd boy" crest etc to the point that it becomes almost meaningless. but i think what makes them even more meaningless to me, and is probably the reason they kind of designated girl/boy crests etc is that i think like the digivices they're toys and merchandise more than they are actual narrative tools LOL. I wouldve loved something with cody and mimi! theyre both so deeply empathetic and sensitive.. theres a lot they share but i think because they look so different on the surface it would make it difficult to market that merch...booo capitalism boooo toy marketing its all sexist bullshit at least here in the u.s. idk if japan is that different though.

I'm actually a little frustrated with how often 02 and 02 related media squanders cody in general lol. he feels like a parallel of izzy, joe, and TK(season 1 tk) while also being kind of none of those and suffering through lackluster characterization as a result... and then once ken joins the team it feels a little redundant. there's a couple cody-centric eps of 02 I remember really liking but then i think abt how he's been used since in like post-series content and 02:the beginning where they made him type on the computer even though obviously that's yoleis thing but because he had nothing else to do and aghh... my blood boils. i feel like the youngest but most serious anime achetype even at its bare bones is actually rly interesting idk why they don't play it up. UM. Once again my opinion is that he should be taller LOL and maybe they should play up his kendo martial arts honorable training stuff more idk. tallest + youngest + most serious just seems like a recipe for success for me. well. theres still time. and theres always fanfic.

THIS IS SO NICE TO SAY and not the first time someone has said it but i appreciate it everytime because i really admire the mm art style so much. It's like part of why I got really into the movie because I really recognized my own artistic sensibilities and aspirations in the way they stylized everything.

UM And i feel like since watching the movie and looking at all the concept art and making my own art i do feel like its only become more obvious how much my own art is lacking LOL LIKE when you see something that feels so similar I think the differences only become more stark. those artists are definitely on a different level than me. But it's nice to hear people say it doesn't look so different from their pov. thank u ^^

thank u!!!!!!! i love mundanity and naturalism... there's something so beautiful abt it to me lol... I feel like my anatomy needs work actually but ive been feeling better abt it this year so it's good to hear! thank you!

DLKGDSGDLALSNDF WAS IT TOO FAR..?? firstly, yeah I was thinking late teen/young adult ages for both of them ie 18-19ish, definitely not the age the kids are in the movie lol.

but also they arent DOING anything in that pic it is literally just a confrontation + some innuendo... I think teens should be allowed some less than subtle innuendo.. its like one of the top 3 classically teen pastimes...

this is such a funny ask to get because i feel like i haven't been able to do thin lineart until like. this past year or two maybe LOL. UM having a line-centric art job helped I think. I started on craig of the creek back in 2022 and thats a show where we spend a lot of time inking so I had a job where I was constantly moderating my line weight 40 hours a week every week for over a year. disappointingly, much of improvement is simply horrendous amounts of practice.

Here's a tip though: I think a lot of thin lineart boils down to confidence. I think instinctively we read thick, bold, fast lines as confident but theres actually a lot of obscuring you can do with a thick line. if you're not sure whether the nose on the face or a browline should be a little more left or a little more down you can hide that with a thick line and pretend its a shadow. or hide it with a bunch of quick lines and the eye can kind of approximate where looks best among the mass.. whereas a thin line is rly singular and stark and hides nothing, it needs to be precise. so anytime i know i want thin lineart i spend a LOT of time sketching, making sure i know exactly where i want my lines to go. so im not second guessing by the time im inking...

ok thats kind of a broad tip lol... here's one thats more applicable: IF POSSIBLE, lower your pressure sensitivity on your device. most devices have some way to edit your pressure sensitivity curve. I use a surface pro at home and this is what my pressure curve looks like most of the time.

When I work on a wacom it looks even more like a reverse L shape LOL. I'm naturally a really heavy-handed artist and I use a "light" or "hard" pressure curve to compensate for how hard I'm always pressing on the pen lol. if you're like me and you struggle with going too hard with the ink too fast... this will probably help a lot!

SFHASLDFH I LOVE THIS ASK this is like the type of question a person gets asked when chalk drawing on the sidewalk at recess LOL. but i understand because I've been struggling also for like. months. I think I'm finally starting to nail it down though so here's some of my observations.

[feel free to save this img but **please do not re-post it or share broadly**. my biggest fear in the world is to spend 30 min on some notes and become a widely proliferated art tutorial im not even kidding. i made it low contrast and difficult to read on purpose.]

my other tip is to just look at and study a lot of reference because that's all ive been doing. the tmnt are really cartoony so its difficult to use like actual anatomical reference unless ur going for that look BUT theres been so many adaptions in so many different styles that there's a real treasure trove of stuff to look at for how to simplify, stylize, and dissect these characters while keeping the recognizable essence. so theres lots to pull from.

If you want to expand further, it's also good to have 5) something sci-fi 6)something fantasy 7)something mundane/slice of life. a bedroom is a really good go-to. And of course some bgs can be two or more of these things at once.

I've definitely answered asks abt bg tips before but here's one specifically for if you want to do bg design for a job:

Your portfolio should probably have at least one of each of the following 1) an interior 2) an exterior 3) a cityscape 4) a nature scene. Just to cover kind of the basics of what you'd be asked to draw on any given project.

I actually feel like I don't have that many cityscrapes in my portfolio... this is something I'm gonna try to work on in the coming year LOL. OH ALSO. This is a very basic tip and people will tell you it all the time but its worth repeating: look up portfolio websites of artists who have the job you want. An easy way to do this is to go onto imdb for any cartoon or movie you like and to find the names listed as "bg/background designer" or whatever then just google that name +"art" or "animation" most artists have some public facing internet presence so it's not hard. spend time studying their work and hold those images in your head! it's a good way to get a good idea of what "industry standard" looks like and comparing ur own art to it... I know people sometimes get bummed comparing their art to others but if you can keep your head up lol.. it'll help you figure out what you need to work on!

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ok thats all i have to say sorry for typing so much. happy new year everybody who read this far LMAO!!!!!

#ask

[frenzys-show]

In Defense of Pharma

Guys I'm really tired of seeing ppl shit on Pharma solely for the incident with Ambulon. Seeing people defend Ratchet against him. Tired of people being awful to him because of things he couldn't control. People will really support the toxic ones because of the simple fact they are a popular character that everyone loves. I'm tired of pretending I like Ratchet (I adored TFA and G1 only). I don't. He's an awful guy when you look at the case with Pharma. And personally I just don't find him interesting like other characters. Ratchet fucking ruined Pharma pre-Delphi. He was this sweet guy who did his best and I strongly believe Pharma may have BPD, so that only makes what Ratchet did so much WORSE. The way Pharma attached to Ratchet reminds me of one with their FP (Favorite Person). He believed so much in Ratchet, looked up to him, considered him one of his closest friends, his FP if you will. He cared deeply about Ratchet, and it deeply affected him when he just up and fucking left without a proper goodbye. And so began a long fucking chain of him getting fucked over. Another point that gets used against him was the virus he unleashed, that wasn't his fucking fault. Tarn was pressuring him. He was stuck in an incredibly hard point. The DJD would after him if he didn't feed Tarn's addiction, he'd still be fucked even witht he fact he did it. Pharma gets stuck in the middle of nowhere with two people he doesn’t care for, and one of them is a direct target of the group blackmailing him into killing patients. There was nothing he could have done to make the situation better. And I fucking find it such BULLSHIT that First AId went to Ambulons side rather than Pharmas DESPITE THE FUCKING FACT Amublon is a ex-con, he could very well have been conspiring with Sonic and Boom. The fact Pharma got immediately blamed pisses me off. He was just doing his job, trying to keep his job, and juggle his issues with Ratchet appearing. His FP that fucking abandoned him. This is a STRONG example of how mental illness can fuck oneself over. As someone with BPD, I heavily relate to Pharma, so I am very defensive over this (no shit I'm writing a whole thing defending him). I understand his panic. His stress. The need to prove himself. A case too is with the incident of Ambulon. Yes, the way he handled the situation was awful, but think about it. He wanted to prove himself, to prove he was better than the asshole who left him behind. So how does he do it? Give a prompt to Ratchet that he KNOWS he can't fix, prove that Ratchet is not as good as he thinks he is. And as for Tryest, it's another situation of lose/lose. I didn't pay much attention to that bit of the story but I can say that Pharma was dealing with that whole 'I need to prove im better than these jerks so everyone will like me and need me' BPD mess he has going on. A person with BPD often seeks validation from others, needing FPs to love them and respect only them, which is why he usually claims himself as the best medic. He needs the validation, that boost to his fragile ego that is crumbling with every second. Plus Tyrest promised him a place in the forged only world he was planning. It made him feel valid and needed. He chased that feeling. And then Ratchet came along and started to derail his mind. Leading him to do something that ultimately painted him in a bad light. And he proved he was stronger within the Lost Light comics. Issue 4 showed him hurtingTyrest in such a fashion that not even the best medic, not even his "beloved Ratchet" (his words, not mine), could figure out how he caused so much damage. He was pissed off. He was having a split. He was damaged. I believe we should focus more on the goods of a character, the compexity of their issues, rather than honing on one specific thing that was not that big of a fucking deal. This fandom is awful with painting certain characters as awful awful people for simple issues that can be explained very easily. NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUUUUSE ME. I'm going to take a moment to nap because I am so frustrated and overstimulated and angry rn.

#transformers #pharma is the best #pharma #pharma mtmte #mtmte #comics #transformers mtmte #rant #angry rant #apologist #bad characters are not truly bad sometimes #maccadam