#i really didn't think i was going to get a ticket

[pinkyqil]

salma p. x reader who's not a footballer

prompt: blind date

location: barcelona

Blind date // salma paralluelo

Salma had been getting restless teasing from her friends and fellow teammates. Especially about her lover life or when she came back from one of her horrid dates that went awful.

"So Salma how did your last date go". vicky asked her with a teasing voice.

"Ugh I don't even want to talk about it spare me please".

"Nope you don't get to butt out of telling us". Pina and patri told her along with esme and ona agreeing with there statements.

She told them how it went especially how the other girl had accidentally spill a drink on her after refusing to give her free tickets to there next game and how she basically got ditched mid date.

"So your telling me she threw her drink on you after you declined her request and left you for someone else". vicky said before bursting into laughter along with the other girl's.

"Very well figured out genius". salma throwing her head back before laughing with them.

"You basically got toyed with amiga I feel bad for you.patri told her

"Thanks for the reminder guys let's go before we have to do extra laps". She told the group of friends before jogging away.

"I feel bad now guys poor salma".vicky told the group of girls as they made there way down

"Yeah". they said in tune before making there way back.

"Salma salma". Ona called up the tall girl trying to reach her before she left.

Upon hearing her name begin called she turned around to a already tried ona.

"Yes".she said

"Are you free tonight?".ona asked her

"Yep got nothing to do but watch a film".

"How about a blind date-".before ona could finish she got a no

"No after what I told you expect me to go on another one especially a blind date?".

"Please think about it I'll send you the details I promise you she's a good one". Ona explained to a very bother salma.

Salma found herself staring at ona's messages for a ungodly amounts of time.her heart and mind kept telling her two different things. Go and just enjoy yourself or stay and avoid going on the blind date knowing whatever could happen.

She decided to go knowing she's dealt with worse slama was never the type to face her challenges but when she did, she definitely takes over.so here she was looking through her closet and looking for the perfect fit to wear knowing that she was definitely going to be late.

She dusted her outfit one last time before heading inside the mini cafe restaurant. the nervousness was gone the moment she felt the cafe peaceful atmosphere. spoting a darked haired woman at the table she mentally cursed herself out for being late.

"Hi sorry for coming in late something came up". she said before taking a sit the moment she looked at you she felt and insanely amount of butterflies in her stomach.

Forget gorgeous you we're breathtaking when her eyes meet yours.

"No worries I didn't have to wait that long".you told her.

The date went smoothly in fact amazing.you both got to know each other a lot more and surprisingly you both had a lot more in common than you thought.

finding out that night she loved going for runs midnight jogs just like you made your heart flutter especially with how flirty she got mid date making you blush hard that you we're probably different shade.

After a while you both took a walk in the beautiful city of Barcelona holding hands breeze in your face and a fresh moment for you both.

"Same time next week". she asked you

"Definitely I really enjoyed the date salma thanks for making it meaningful for me".you told her

"No thank you I was actually contemplating on coming after awful date encounters but I'm glad I did".

The next day salma woke up with butterflies her mind was just filled with thoughts about seeing you and your next date together.

but sadly those thought had been interrupted when she head for training.

First person she saw would be ona who looked over the moon to see her telling from the huge grin she had on her face.

"Soo by the smile on your face I can assume the date went well".

"It did come one let's head down and I'll tell you everything".has she grabbed ona's hand so that they could partner up for drills and she's spils the date tea.

A/n: hope you like it added a lil twit of my own I'm still taking in the 3 player prompt thing all you gotta do is send in a player prompt and location hope y'all like enjoy this fic and has always feedbacks are appreciated 💗

#salma paralluelo #salma paralluelo imagines #salma paralluelo x reader #salma x reader #salma please marry meee #woso fic #woso fanfics #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso imagines #woso fluff #woso #woso community #barcelona femeni #barca femini x reader #barcelona femeni x reader #espwnt x reader #espwnt imagine #fcbfemeni x reader #fcb femeni x reader #fc barca femeni

[justalittlebluetiefling]

Honestly, I would love to go see that Candela live show, but I can't justify going to LA next month.

#obligatory reminder to myself that i have financial obligations #and that i don't need to go to la again even though i really didn't get to do much last time i was there #chanting to myself: you can watch it when they release the vod you'll be fine #BUT KHARY #i did not buy d20 live show tickets either #but a lot of that was because i don't think i want to do new york in january lol

[lesbiangummybearmafia]

I feel jealous of everyone that lives in NYC. Y'all get the opportunity to go to the Theater district see plays and musicals with stars most of will never get the chance to.

I really wish some streaming service would make a deal with some of play houses and/or Broadway Theaters to record their performances so those of us that will never have another way to see those performances will get a chance to watch them. I know it's not going to the same experience as seeing them done live.

But imagine how amazing it would be for, say, children or their grandparent that's lived in, say, Nebraska their whole life could watch Broadway version of the Lion King or see Wicked.

They did it with Hamilton on Disney plus. It gave me a chance I wouldn't of had way to see it. It was amazing!!

I just find it extremely sad that only certain number of people are allowed to enjoy these brilliance plays and musicals, basically solely on location and financially able.

For example the only play I've ever seen in my life was done by the theater class at my high school. I don't ever remember the play it's been so long.

As hard as it's to comprehend for some, many of us are either not financially fortunate to be able to go to such things or don't find interest in them until older or we live in area of the country where they don't have access to such things.

That's why recording the plays and musicals having them available on a streaming platform would be such a brilliant idea. If they didn't want to do it during a live performance, which makes sense. Do a performance just for the recording. Which I actually think is a better idea, they could get better camera angles, the cameras could move around more freely, they bother a live audience that way and it would be recorded better for the views who actually going be watching it at home. Let's be honest I doubt highly they'd lose ticket sales, I personally think it would do opposite. I think it would make people that could go see it more inclined to do so. To experience it live, to get be that close to brilliant actors, to know before hand if its good for their kids, etc...

I hate that we live in such an elitist society.

#have an idea #put plays and musicals from Broadway on streaming platform #so everyone could watch them #because not everyone has the opportunity to go to play or musical in a theater #a streaming platform could give that to everyone #nyc #broadway #theater district #plays #musicals

[vourequat]

愛しています、ミスター・ジャパン！

WARNING: Nothing really, just some fluff, not proof read as much, horrible English, fem!reader.

This is the very first fanfic I'm writing for my birthday special, basically I'll be posting short or long fanfics along the days leading up to my birthday (I surely didn't forget that my birthday month is tomorrow). So be thankful that I'm spoiling you all instead of myself (⁠ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ⁠)⁠━⁠☆ﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡ﾟ

The constant sweat leaving your body to cool off your body was a huge sign that it was indeed the summer season, when he saw you all fatigued after coming home late after a mission due to the heat and the exhaustion of your already tiring work he immediately thought of one thing and one thing only— the thing you two had always dreamed about.

"Hon, morning...." He smiled as he flipped the last pancake he'll be making this morning, he turned around to greet you in an embrace and a quick kiss to your head.

You only hummed, still half asleep.

As you were sitting down and sipping on the coffee that he had served you he decided to sit down before decorating the pancakes, it was quite unusual really, Kento wasn't exactly the type to sit down or lay down without finishing something first so you immediately knew that something was up.

Kento took a deep breath, "So... I've been thinking" he began.

You lifted your head up from your coffee to meet his hazel eyes that brightened the moment you made eye contact, it was as if his pupils formed a heart the longer he looked at you.

"Yes...?"

"Why don't we spend the summer in Kuantan like we always talked about?" He continued as he slid two airplane tickets to Malaysia over to you.

It took you a bit to get it but once you did, you stood up in joy and attacked him with a big hug and wet kisses all around his face.

"Well, someone's obsessed with me...!" Kento laughed as he pulled you onto his lap and looked deeply into your eyes, "You'll be the death of me... a death that I'll accept with open arms."

Once you feel the sand on your toes, you feel like you were in a dream.

You couldn't believe you and your long time boyfriend had finally set foot in your dream escape place, the place where you two had dreamt of retiring to after you leave the sorcery life behind and just live normally.

Behind you, you heard a sigh and a grunt.

You turned around and immediately gasped— The Kento Nanami was on one his knee in front of you!

"Hey..." You were already on the verge of tears as the people around you gasped and cooed at the sight that they were witnessing first hand.

"God this is embarrassing but..." Kento sighed and mustered up the courage from his entire soul and took out a small velvety box from his pocket.

"Honey... I... we've been together for a good eleven years now and I've wanted nothing but to continue to wake up every morning and go to sleep every night seeing you beside me."

He began to grow more flustered with the amount of people now looking at them, he bickered himself from picking this over a private setting but he was just panicking the entire airplane ride on how to execute his proposal, normally he'd go by every proposal with flying colours but this was different— he was offering you to be his wife, to be the mother of his children, to be the person he'll love until he can't remember anything else anymore as you two grow old.

"I wish for the heavens above to hear my wishes... my wish that I can be your husband, your partner, your boyfriend, and your everything for my entire life time..."

"Will you marry me—"

"Yes! Oh my gosh, yes!" You squealed as you pulled him up into a hug, every single person who watched all clapping and cheering for the two of you.

Kento couldn't believe it anymore; first, you two finally fulfilled your dreams to go to Malaysia and now you two will soon be wedded.

"I can't wait to finally see you crying as I walk down the aisle..." You both chuckled at your joke as he finally sealed the deal and slid the ring into your ring finger before giving you a quick kiss.

"Mrs. Nanami does sound nice..."

A/N: I forgot that my birthday is near but that's okay at least I didn't forget on the literal day of my birthday like last year and wondered why was everyone cooking and why were there so many people, but anyways, yeah, I'll be posting tomfoolery for a few days until my birthday (I won't say when, baka manghingi ka pa lumpia)

I want a Jollibee themed birthday (I'm literally a grown woman)

#jjk fanfic #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jjk nanami #jujustsu nanami #kento nanami #nanami x reader #nanami kento is my husband go fight a wall #jujustsu fluff

[khiphop-discussions]

Ok so full disclosure, I don't really listen to Yongguk's solos that much. I've heard (I think) every song he performed tonight at least once BUT I was not super familiar with any one song. I meant to listen to the setlist but this week was busy and I didn't get around to it.

So why did I go? Because I never got the opportunity to see B.A.P but Yongguk was always my bias so I wanted to at least go see him. Also, I did a review on the "3" EP and it wasn't bad.

Long story short, I had a GREAT time. Even without knowing pretty much ANY of the words! He's such a great performer and the songs are GREAT live. His fanservice is next level too! I think the only person whose fanservice matches his is Changjo from Teen Top (and probably iKon cause they be in the crowd hugging people and stuff). I'm definitely gonna be listening to those songs a lot more now.

I cried during "I Remember" I don't even know for sure why. I never really cared for that song too much back in the days. But I guess hearing Daehyun (my other bias in B.A.P; I guess it's like "main" and "lead" bias but idk which guy gets which label LOL) and it just overall being a throwback to B.A.P.

Then the above picture. he was so adorable. He gave me a side hug for the picture but when he was taking it, he accidentally turned the camera off and I had to set it back up so I got some extra hugging time LOL. He said, "Thanks for coming, have a great night". My plan was initially to tell him "You're so handsome. Thanks for coming" but I never got to say it cause I guess I got too nervous once I got in front of him LOL. Anyway, after the picture, I was so giddy and smiling so I kinda turned my head away from the people in line still cause it was kinda embarrassing LOL but I'm sure they saw me. While in line everybody was basically watching the people who just went to see their reactions. One person was crying when they walked back! Awww!

Anyway, it was a good day! I honestly regretted buying the tickets. I was REALLY tired because I got like one hour of sleep the night before and work has been so busy this month so I've been kinda burnt out and drained. I kinda wanted to just stay home. However, I'm SOOOO glad I went! I think I would have regretted missing him since I also regretted missing B.A.P. This was such a good experience!

#i think i look funny in this pic but I still cant help but love it 💗 #the days when bap was around were much simpler #i miss it but im glad I got to have this moment all these years later

[atalossofwords]

YOU TASTE THE SILVER - IvanTill WIP (Part 7)

Somehow, these two last POVs turned out bigger than I expected. I think I can keep up the one POV change per day here before I post the full chapter on AO3, but I don't promise anything.

Also, I have plans for how many chapters it'll be! Yay me.

ON AO3 - part one - part two - part three - part four - part five&six

Till was... nervous. For more than one reason.

Firstly, he was getting ready for Mizi's concert. He'd be nervous enough to go to any show, since crowded places made him antsy, but this was a meet and greet. He bought a new jacket exclusively for this, and was trying very hard not to be weird about using perfume and generally dressing up for the occasion.

Secondly, he had Navi's number. He hadn't said anything after that first exchange, too awkward to try and make small talk but he found himself... wanting to.

He refused to let Hyuna send the messages, since she was halfway ready to demand to see Navi's ID. It was awkward but then... Then Navi had said all those things, about how much he liked Till's music, how Till deserved more recognition than what he got...

It made Till's stomach swoop, his cheeks colored red.

It reminded Till of those days when he had only 100 followers, when Navi would send 100$ donations solely to max the character limit as he talked about how much he liked Till's lyrics, how his mixing made him feel, how he couldn't believe Till didn't have a record deal yet.

After that short text conversation, Hyuna had changed her "bored office worker" theory to a "disillusioned producer", and for once Till was inclined to agree.

Still meant he was far from understanding why Navi would send him so much money.

"Till, are you ready?" Hyuna calls out, startling Till out of his thoughts. He gives a last once-over to his outfit, deems it ready, and goes to greet her.

Hyuna is wearing a black tank-top, cargo pants, hiking boots and a leather jacket he's sure once belonged to Dewey when he still ran with a motorcycle gang. She rolls his eyes at his face.

"Ready to go? We need to be in the venue in half an hour if we want to get in at a good time." He nods, checking that the clear bag he's bringing has all his necessary documents.

Tickets? Check. ID? Check. His first Mizi album and custom photocard binder? Check. A handwritten letter for Mizi? Check. Extra pens in case he or other fans need it? Check. A truly unholy number of phone charms he made himself the night before to exchange with fans? Check. He makes grabby hands to Hyuna, waiting until she puts all her stuff in the bag as well before shouldering it.

"You're such a mother hen." She says, grinning. "I heard we might not be allowed in with food, so I sent Isaac to get something from the convenience store we can eat on the way."

"Oh, good idea. He's meeting us there?" He asks, perking up. He really wasn't looking forward to surviving on granola bars for the day.

They end up meeting Isaac in the car, since he and Dewey are driving them and Hyuna wanted to re-touch her makeup. Isaac gets them both sandwiches, as well as a pack of chips to eat in the queue. He also gets two starbucks packaged drinks, black coffee for Hyuna, and caramel frappuccino for Till.

Luckily, the queue isn't too big; the meet-and-greet isn't open for a lot of people, so Till spends his time waiting by chatting with fellow fans, discussing the new album, and even meets one of his own fans, Mizi's Boots, who he remembers as an occasional chatter who mostly comes for his mixing streams.

She's very flustered that he remembers, but eventually they settle into some more normal conversations, Hyuna teasing them both about bringing so many phone charms to trade. He makes sure to put hers on his phone right away, since she takes care to pick one that matches his streaming set-up.

It also reminds him that... he has Navi's number.

He should send a message, right? Just to say he's at the venue. He did a few lives since getting the tickets, and only commented that he'd be going on the last one, so as to not give his fans any time to buy tickets to search him out instead of Mizi.

Navi had said nothing to indicate he was the one who sent the tickets, a simple "I hope hyung has fun!!" was all he sent.

He decides not to overthink it, and takes out his phone to take a selfie of him, with Hyuna in the background talking to a fan of hers. He hunts for Navi's contact.

You [ 4:44 ] On the line to see Mizi. Thanks again for the tickets. [IMG.7347]

He closes his phone, ignoring the flutter in his stomach to focus on the experience at hand. It's almost time to go in.

The queue moves forward,

"Chill, Till. You've watched these events like a thousand times on livestreams, it's going to be fine." Hyuna says, after they're already seated in the auditorium. He's glad his fan was seated far away from them, since he'd feel awful if she watched him losing his cool like this.

"Okay, but what if I trip and fall right in front of her? What then?" Till frets, combing one hand through his hair. Hyuna rolls her eyes, opening her mouth to tease him some more when the lights dim and a manager comes on-stage to announce Mizi.

Till immediately forgets his nerves, leaning forward to watch better. Mizi walks on-stage already waving, a radiant smile on her face. She's dressed more casually than she usually is for shows, with her glasses on. Her long pink hair is left free, bouncing as she moves to say hi to everyone on the first roll.

Till doesn't even see Hyuna settle down, focused on Mizi. She does a little QNA, pointing at people to answer. Most questions are pretty simple, like how's Mizi's doing, what's her favorite song from the newest album, favorite snack, and so on. She even calls on Hyuna, who asks if Mizi likes video games.

(Apparently, she's an Animal Crossing player. Till is so endeared, he loves her, oh god.)

After that fanfare, she sits on the stage, legs dangling closer to the first row, and sings My Clematis with her guitar. She thanks everyone, asks for five minutes to get some water, and the fansign begins.

Till has... a vague idea of the hour or so that happened between then and his turn. He knows Hyuna leans in to talk to him, mindless chatter about their streams and their next collab, about how Luka's workflow is increasing so she's thinking of paying for another chat mod.

In the blink of an eye, he's sliding on a chair in front of Mizi, and out of the hundred times he's imagined this meeting, he'd never have though of this.

She squints at him, tilting her head to the side, and says; "Oh, you're Till, right? The streamer?"

Till's face is so hot he thinks he's going to die.

#writing #wip #ivantill #alien stage #you taste the silver

[wolfgang-king]

holy shit i got a ticket, for the show that works best for me.

holy

fucking

shit

#spent way more than i should have #but when you don't know how much time you have to look for a seat you don't look #you click and pray #i guess i'm using disney money for this #i really didn't think i was going to get a ticket #i was mostly trying so that i wouldn't regret not trying #i really can't believe it

[beeduoo]

wonderful

#there is a ranboo that goes withthis but i didn't like how he was looking imma restart from scratch tmrw😭😭 #ctubbo #michael beloved #ctubbo fanart #Guys you have no idea what i went through today like it wa fucking crazy i need to share this #so i went to the mall after school right and im going home at like 8 on the train with my friend bc i was supposed to be picked up ay her #stop right but then im told to just go to my stop and take the bus and im like ok sure but the problem is my phone is on SEVEN PERCENT and w #hen i get to the stop my moms like u have money for the bus right and im like ueah and i check and i have NO MONEY #BUT I DIDNT TELL HER ANUTHING BC I DIDNT WANT HER TI GET MAD BC I KNEW SHE WOUDKNT WANT ME TO WALK ALL THE WAY HOME AT NIGHT (FOURTY BLOCKS #So im like ok im getting on the bus now my phone is on four percent i have to WALK HOME allll that way and there's this crazy ass upward hi #ll that's like ten blocks long ITS NOT EVEN THAT BAD but like my mom thinks im on the bus so im trying to speed walk as fast as i can and i #RAWDOGGED it too because MU PHONE WAS GOING TO IDE!!!! #I made it home at two percent U guys i was so proud of myself thank u for listening #IM SO MAD IT WOUKDVE BEEN OKAY IF I WASNT IN A RUSH And also if i had music uggghhh Whatever #I bought this really cute skirt at garage hold on let me find it #lexi pleated skort color Navy blue ITS SOOOO CUTE got some new leg warmers too yesss.... #I NEED TO DOWNLOAD THE TRANSIT APP i woukdve been able to attach my apple pay and buy the stupid ticket if my phonewasnnt #too dead to do al that... #Guys always make sure u carry cash with yiu goodbye

[binch-i-might-be]

someone needs to kill me dead before I get another ticket for hamilton hamburg (the translation I don't even enjoy but is nonetheless still hamilton and thus makes me go foaming at the mouth insane)

#they sent me a mail that gives me forty percent off ticket prices until end of may........ #well you see i would want to go to hamburg again anyway because i didn't get to see it last time and it seems really nice #also i'm thinking about seeing if i can get a tattoo there #so...... #rayrambles

[taylorsabrina]

OMGGGG I GOT A SALE CODE FOR THE GUTS TOUR.

#*carly chats #i really didn't think i was going to get one cause these kinds of things never work in my favor but yay!!!! #hopefully things will go smoothly w/ the sale but idk we'll see #i've never been confident about ticket sales #olivia rodrigo #guts tour

[maddy-ferguson]

i think it's actually a good thing that babylon was only watched by ten people (i count for seven because that's how many times i've seen it) because there's endless discourse to be had and it would've been very annoying

#brad pitt being one of the leads obviously it's actually one of the reasons why i didn't plan on going to see it at first that and the fact #that it lasts three hours and also i wasn't interested. happened upon it anyway you know how the story goes i mean. i still paid for my #ticket but i only ended up going because my classes for that day were cancelled because of the strike that was going on then. yeah #three out of the four queer characters end up dead so that's bury your gays but two of the characters are only implied queer so i guess #that would make it better except it wouldn't because yk. not explicit. not enough lady fay zhu and sidney focus which true actually i think #just five more minutes of fay especially would've been great. there's a deleted scene where nellie finds out that manny separated them but #i kinda get why they deleted it. what else. oh yeah nellie manic pixie dream girl😭 also the fact that she dies and manny survives probably #counts as misogyny. but the white characters dying and the characters of color surviving makes it all okay would be the conclusion #there's other things it's a long movie #making up discourse yes but really these are just critiques if you think about it. some of them just happen to be dumb #and like i say: brf slt

[florida3exclamationpoints]

My philly chances lowkey aren't looking the best...... but my mom did say she could try to help plan a trip for a metlife show

#i didn't want it to be a trip that needs planning lol #and i didn't wanna ask my parents to spend more money when they already took me to one show #which is why i was hoping i could just do philly as a daytrip #but i dont think i really have anyone to go with me #i would do the show alone but not the drive #mayyyyyybe my mom could come with me but not go to the show so id still be paying for everything myself #but then id feel bad bc she doesn't get to see Taylor again #so. maybe metlife????? maybe???? hopefully??????? #i just feel like metlife tickets are gonna be a million times harder to get #and either way my best chance is probably getting tickets day of anyway #so id hate for my mom to get us a hotel and drive us 6 hours and then we cant actually go #IM fine the consequences of MY actions but i dont wanna pull my mom into it 💀 #but i also dont wanna go alone 💀 #so yeah!! the struggles of swiftieism

[doggirl-narcolepsy]

welp back to bed with me.. beenn up for literally like 5 hours and I've been told my internship will probably fall through, though I won't know until literal days before I'm supposed to start. had to cancel what little plans I had for my birthday because of the weather and I haven't eaten anything in like 48 hours..

#vent post #you think you have some things settled and then everything just falls apart #I was fine with grilling alone with my parents and wife because at least I'd get to eat that day without feeling guilty for spending money #but since it's gonna be raining for the next week straight I think I'm just gonna cancel it all together #like wow you'll buy food to grill as a birthday present but not give me money for groceries.. just letting us starve... cool.. fuck you too #i also really wanted to go to the new queer bar for my birthday because they're doing their 1 year anniversary event the same day #but i have like... no friends #to the point that i only found out that a queer bar had been open in this town for 11 months a week ago #after a literal decade with no lgbt spaces in this part of the country #but hey what do you expect when your last interaction with an irl friend you had was “hey do y'all wanna go to this concert together” #just to be told they had bought tickets weeks in advance and didn't feel like telling you lol... last december

[youssefguedira]

bro errigo knocked out thibus?? reigning world champion thibus?? in the round of sixteen??

#bummed we didn't think about getting tickets for this sooner :/ wish i could be there. even if it's just watching heats all day #paris tickets are sold out too :/// #neon has thoughts #anyway go errigo go. shes really good #weintraub only JUST lost to azuma and i am a little bummed bc she's really good but i think she'll come back in team. and azuma is also #really really good #kiefer also back and beat her opponent in. like. 3 minutes and 10-20 seconds which is insane

[reginaofdoctorwho]

im going to fucking cry

#so my boyfriend and i got passes to the orchestra in the close city that has one #they have 3 christmas concerts that i really wanted to go to #1 we missed because school/studying/missed the days #the 2nd we missed because he waited until day of (a sunday) to call the box office and they were closed because sunday #and we had tickets for this morning for the 3rd (runs thursday friday saturday sunday) #and this morning we're texting #i set down my phone while doing my makeup #i pick it up and he's texting that he doesn't think he can go because he's getting a cold #which okay! #so i text back and ask if we could try to go sunday after i babysit #to which he says maybe #and starts going off on me about how i didn't ask if he was okay or say i hoped he'd feel better before trying to make new plans #but he HAD SAID he was fine and just need to rest in the original text #and he had asked if i'd be fine with not going with “it wouldn't be the end of the world if we didn't go right?” #like yeah it wouldn't but i'm still fucking disappointed #just i wanted to see at least one of their christmas concerts because it's not like i get to play my instruments anymore #and i just failed my classes for my major #and my mental health has been absolute shit lately which he knows about VERY WELL #because i had to give him my knives and lighters to hold onto #but he's just been bitching at me for not being sympathetic enough #and ''if we were going to a hardcore show and you didn't feel well i wouldn't enjoy it or want to go'' #but that DID happen and we still went! #when his friend drove and made fucking bj jokes about me and i was barely able to fucking talk #he still had a good fucking time #i've never canceled one of our dates and in the past week alone he's canceled THREE #which he's getting sick i know but still! just don't have us reschedule in the same week then #and i don't think we'll be able to get tickets for sunday because we had already called for tickets for today #and they won't let us do both days #just it's a lot and i can't stand it

[cookinguptales]

You know... I had an experience about two months ago that I didn't talk about publicly, but I've been turning it over and over in my mind lately and I guess I'm finally able to put my unease into words.

So there's a podcast I'd been enjoying and right after I got caught up, they announced that they were planning on doing a live show. It's gonna be near me and on the day before my birthday and I thought -- hey, it's fate.

But... as many of you know, I'm disabled. For me, getting to a show like that has a lot of steps. One of those steps involved emailing the podcasters to ask about accessibility for the venue.

The response I got back was very quick and very brief. Essentially, it told me to contact the venue because they had no idea if it was accessible or not.

It was a bucket of cold water, and I had a hard time articulating at the time quite why it was so disheartening, but... I think I get it a little more now.

This is a podcast that has loudly spoken about inclusivity and diversity and all that jazz, but... I mean, it's easy to say that, isn't it? But just talking the talk without walking the walk isn't enough. That's like saying "sure, we will happily welcome you in our house -- if you can figure out how to unlock the door."

And friends, my lock-picking set is pretty good by this point. I've been scouting out locations for decades. I've had to research every goddamn classroom, field trip, and assigned bookstore that I've ever had in an academic setting. I've had to research every movie theater, theme park, and menu for every outing with friends or dates. I spend a long time painstakingly charting out accessible public transportation and potential places to sit down every time I leave the house.

Because when I was in college, my professors never made sure their lesson plans were accessible. (And I often had to argue with them to get the subpar accommodations I got.) Because my friends don't always know to get movie tickets for the accessible rows. Because my dates sometimes leave me on fucking read when I ask if we can go to a restaurant that doesn't keep its restrooms down a flight of stairs.

I had one professor who ever did research to see if I could do all the coursework she had planned, and who came up with alternate plans when she realized that I could not. Only one. It was a medical history and ethics class, and my professor sounded bewildered as she realized how difficult it is to plan your life when you're disabled.

This woman was straight-up one of the most thoughtful, philosophical, and ethical professors I've ever had, one who was incredibly devoted to diversity and inclusion -- and she'd never thought about it before, that the hospital archives she wanted us to visit were up a flight of stairs. That the medical museum full of disabled bodies she wanted us to visit only had a code-locked back entrance and an old freight elevator for their disabled guests who were still breathing.

And that's the crux of it, isn't it? It's easy to theoretically accept the existence of people who aren't like you. It's a lot harder to actively create a space in which they can exist by your side.

Because here's what I did before I contacted the podcasters. I googled the venue. I researched the neighborhood and contacted a friend who lives in the area to help me figure out if there were any accessible public transportation routes near there. (There aren't.) I planned for over an hour to figure out how close I could get before I had to shell out for an uber for the last leg of the trip.

Then I read through the venue's website. I looked through their main pages, through their FAQs to see if there was any mention of accessibility. No dice. I download their packet for clients and find out that, while the base building is accessible, the way that chairs/tables are set up for individual functions can make it inaccessible. So it's really up to who's hosting the show there.

So then and only then I contacted the podcasters. I asked if the floor plan was accessible. I asked if all the seats were accessible, or only some, and whether it was open seating or not. Would I need to show up early to get an accessible seat, or maybe make a reservation?

And... well, I got the one-sentence reply back that I described above. And that... god, it was really disheartening. I realized that they never even asked if their venues were accessible when they were booking the shows. I realized that they were unwilling to put in the work to learn the answers to questions that disabled attendees might have. I realized that they didn't care to find out if the building was accessible.

They didn't know and they didn't care. That, I think, is what took the wind out of my sails when they emailed me back. It's what made me decide that... yeah, I didn't really want to go through the trouble of finding an accessible route to the venue. I didn't want to have to pay an arm and a leg to hire a car to take me the last part of the journey. I didn't want to make myself frantic trying to figure out if I could do all that and still make the last train home.

If they didn't care, I guess I didn't either.

If they'd apologized and said that the only venue they could get was inaccessible, I actually would have understood. I know that small shows don't always get their pick of venues. I get it. I even would have understood if they'd been like "oh dang, I actually don't know -- but I'll find out."

But to be told that they didn't know and didn't intend to find out... oof. That one stung.

Because.... this is the thing. This is the thing. I may be good at it by now, but I'm so tired of picking locks. I'm tired of doing all the legwork because no one ever thinks to help me. I'm tired of feeling like an afterthought at best, or at worst utterly unwelcome.

If you truly want to be inclusive, you need to stop telling people that you're happy to have them -- if they can manage to unlock the door. You need to fucking open it yourself and welcome them in.

What brought all this back to me now, you may be asking? Well... I guess it's just what I was thinking to myself as I was tidying up my phone.

Today I'm deleting podcasts.

#I guess it did save me a lot of money #I'll still probably go up to nyc to visit with friends for my bday but I won't go all the way out to brooklyn for the show #and I probably won't need to get the hotel room #and I DEFINITELY won't be supporting their patreon like I was planning lmao #I'll buy myself a new tarot deck for my birthday instead #cw: #disability #ableism