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acaciapines · 2 days

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hiiiiiii bestie hiiiii hiiiiiii hiiii <3

no one else is asking so I will take one for the team. well maybe someone has asked but I will ask again if not. can you please tell us abt how kris and noelle meet in the drk au, and noelle’s uh. reaction to seeing dess again when she thought dess was dead? and ig by extension, kris. not sure if this is getting into spoiler territory so feel free not to answer or be as vague as you want :p

am also interested in hearing more abt ralsei and susie in this au. Please

have we talked abt this a bit? definitely. but the ppl on tumblr should hear it also and I like hearing abt it smile

hii hi hi <3

i do not know how much of this will be new for you but it will be new for everyone else so LETS GO!!!

NOELLE AND KRIS

okay so. i think i've mentioned this in other posts before, but the whole event that starts off everyone finding out dess and kris arent actually dead is that kris dives into a dark world! theyre trying to close a dark world like dess does, because they think that maybe!! that way!! dess will come back and be proud of them and love them and then she wont leave so much! because kris can close dark worlds too, see? now they can go with her!

they tell this to frisk, swear frisk to secrecy, and then! vanish lol they're Gone. the way dark worlds work here also isnt fully solid but im treating them sort of like mystery dungeons in pmd, so they dont fully follow the laws of like, physics and the like which means that even tho where kris lives is Very Far from hometown, noelle, susie, and ralsei are still able to get to the same dark world from hometown!

do not ask me what this dark world is like. i have No Idea. probably somewhat inspired by kris's life but i have not gone so far as to plot it out lol. the important part is that susie and ralsei split off from noelle (like in cyber city) and so noelle ends up running into kris, who has not only gotten lost but is in WAY over their head lol, so she saves them and kris begrudgingly agrees to stick with her. they totally couldve done this on their own. theyre sticking with noelle for her own safety. and noelle is just like yeah sure lol.

while traveling through the dark world together, noelle and kris have no idea who the other is! not only do they not really remember each other (noelle has a few vague memories, kris was even younger when dess took them so they dont remember anything at all), but they've both grown up a lot and in kris's case are fully presenting as a monster. they bond a bit over both being deer-monsters!

they cant fully communicate, tho...kris would be nonverbal throughout this entire trip and since noelle never grew up with kris she doesnt know monster sign language. she might remember a few words from her childhood but not enough to understand kris and even if she did she is a stranger so kris wouldnt sign OR speak to her anyways lol. but they do help each other out and close the dark world together! they come out in hometown and noelle promises to help kris find their parent cause they did Not mean to come here lol, and that is when! she checks her phone and shes gotten a text from toriel about a missing kid, and she's like....hey so uh i think your parent might actually be at my house lol wanna come by.

(while kris was stuck in the dark world, frisk got Very Worried and did eventually spill everything to chara, and thats how chara and frisk end up in hometown desperately trying to find kris! they come across toriel who helps them out and thats why they're at the holiday-dreemurr house).

and so things are all fun and fine until noelle and kris get back to noelle's house, and go inside, and kris is reunited with chara, and when that happens toriel sees this child and is like. holy shit. is that my dead kid.

and the fic would end there lol! (in my head this is a series, so, it would span multiple fics) another fun thing is this is the moment where noelle learns kris's name--so it wont really be a surprise for the audience cause i feel like most people could catch on that this is kris (remember up til this point we only follow noelle and the hometown crew, so we think dess and kris are dead), but if you didnt...

NOELLE AND DESS

honestly i dont know how noelle would react... i feel like she wouldnt have as big a response as everyone else! to her dess is less a person and more like, the story she's told as to why she cant do all the same things her peers do, why her mom + stepmom are so overprotective, why asriel stayed behind instead of going to college...dess loves noelle but noelle is like literally who are you. so when dess tries to like, bond with noelle, noelle doesnt want this...she grew up without a sister and that bond isnt going to form again! she doesnt know who this woman is!

its. very hard for dess needless to say. and for kris who sees how much dess is investing in noelle and theyre just like. okay well why was she never like that with me. which then leads to tensions between noelle and kris, which pushes kris to make some Very Bad Choices, and and and. plot <3

RALSEI AND SUSIE

actually the relationship ive thought about the least if im being honest. but i was talking about them to you last night and i think that like...there IS a level of antagonism that doesnt exist in deltarune canon. ralsei is trying to hard to stick to the prophecy, and when susie in this story's version of chapter one ignores it to be a villain with lancer, that hits A LOT HARDER in a world where from the very start the prophecy is being broken (since its two monsters who fall lol)

plus ralsei is also dealing with a lot of feelings shes never felt before--jealously, envy, not being able to just ignore her dysphoria anymore...shes a lot more aware of her crush on noelle and so noelle having a crush on susie isnt helping...

LIKE THEY ARE FRIENDS i think ralsei feels a LOT of guilt about all of this, and when its just her and susie things are good! they make sense!!! susie makes her wanna BE things wanna feel like maybe these things she feels are okay...but then everything always comes crashing down and its. bad again.

annnnnd thats all i think!! as always anybody can ask for follow ups. i'll spoil this entire au lol im sure things will change as i write it and besides. this is gonna take A While so when i do post it in like 2026 yall wont remember what i said here lol.

#drkau #deltarune #ask #ash my beloved ash #the 2026 number isnt a joke btw in my head this is All Of Deltarune. so. yknow. a clean 500k words or something like that #IM SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS AU.

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roboromantic · 1 year

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Episode 18

I’ve always thought it’s neat how Twitch just kinda hovers around all the time in bot mode – we don’t really ever see that in other shows, at least not that I can remember. I wonder if Nightshade’ll do that too or if it’s just to keep her in frame when she’s with taller bots lmao. anyway flying sibling bonding time When

OH GEEZ YEAH THEY REALLY ARE GOING THERE. DAMN. that does answer my question of who Bee was fighting last episode tho

oh so he’s probably only mostly dead. got it. Still though, that imagery was straight out of a horror movie

oof. yikes

between the arms, near (?) death, and this coughing he’s getting very Grievous-esque

lmao yeah, if only

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH this is Good Shit but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

OUGH I was just thinking earlier today abt there being an ep where their bond is gone for whatever reason and them having to deal with that, especially since the Terrans have never not had it that’s probably not really what they’re gonna get into here but it’s still neat to see it to some degree

Dot is gonna be Pissed.

I kinda hope this is gonna end up like Rescue Bots where the kids are free to interact with the residents of Witwicky, at least. imagine………….slice of life school episodes……………..learning more about their family cultures……………….literally anything except these poor kids being traumatized every other episode 😞

Good to know they live in a dystopia where your car apparently requires wi-fi to run and can be driven remotely by people hacking into it 😬

NOOOOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭 baby

OUFGH THE POWER OF FAMILYU…………………………

They’re uh. They’re not creating an army of siblings, are they.

A HEEM HEEM……………WHIMPER…………………..

man I gotta say I do really hate how energon’s become like their Only food source. Like whatever happened to drinking oil. or gas. Beryllium baloney. hell, why don’t they ever explore the idea of finding/making a New kind of food – like how is ANYONE even getting energon on Earth anyway??? Is it growing here thanks to the Emberstone??? Being made from other energy sources like the G1 cartoon??? (Where Autobots didn’t even use energon at first, they got their energy from recharging chambers) Can it be grown like sugar crystals or something and harvested like in TFA??? Anyway some variety Please im Begging you. Isn’t it enough for energon to be a super powerful energy source. Back to the making new food thing I know they’ve done synth-en a couple times but that en still refers to energon so. Now researching the Terrans water stuff and seeing if they can figure out how to make something from THAT would be great. ..................something something Twitch gamer girl bathwater. is that anything

Only vaguely related but I don’t think they’ve ever addressed the issue of how exactly they all got to Earth anyway. Prime’s talked to Teletraan 1 so presumably the Ark exists somewhere? maybe being repaired somewhere away from GHOST? but atm I think all we know is what Alex said about them arriving via an apparently pre-made space bridge(??????), and iirc in Alex’s story they all just kinda. Walked through it. Meaning no one got here via spaceship. Which makes me wonder if maybe the Ark is something that’s in the process of being created so someone can go check if Cybertron still exists and if so what the state of affairs is there.

Actually it’d be a neat touch if the factions did arrive on their respective ships, but both were heavily damaged, and it’s only by working together (and maybe incorporating some Earth technology?) that they can use parts of both the Ark and the Nemesis to create a new ship for everyone (who wants to) to go home in. going back to the “please let the kids chill” episode ideas like it’d be neat to see them all visit Cybertron and learn about Cybertronian culture(s. please more than one im Begging. Different Cybertronian languages. Religions. FOODS. Etc.)

A lot of this is just going off of what Alex said way back in what, episode 1? 2? And we’ve seen stuff in flashbacks that contradict his story, so it’s clearly not the most reliable source of info – but it’s pretty much all we’ve got.

sdfdkjghfsdjklfh like they aren’t gonna be all over the morning news

yeah I was gonna say, he’s doing pretty well for having like. All his energon drained.

Btw I think Cybertronian languages really oughta have different words for like. energon (crystal/mineral), energon (beverage), and energon (blood). And maybe resolve the blue/pink thing by going with blue crystals (I feel like we’ve seen them more than pink ones?), pink blood (aka it’s definitely recognizable as a blood stand-in but is Legally not blood. just like Star Trek), and maybe bring back the rainbow for the beverage. You could definitely argue that beverage and blood could use the same word, but I feel like there should at LEAST be different words for different states of matter.

Speaking of, I don’t think we’ve seen much in the way of energon as a gas except BotBots (where it’s also plasma (?) since it’s shown as lightning that hits the mall, which is then filled w/energon gas. Also bring back BotBots Please. or make them part of Earthspark as a new kind of Terran :ssbenis:) and I think that one episode of TFA where Optimus uses Swindles boobs to teleport. Or maybe that was another space substance, I don’t remember.

Hm that’s a lot of Not Much to do with the actual episode and a Lot of me just coming up with my own ideas for worldbuilding sdkf;jhsdkjf. sorry.

I noticed it before but I gotta say I love the bit of graffiti that just says “queso”

ooh interesting. Something something the Terrans are the natural result of Cybertron and Earth interacting and they need a similar naturally combined source of energy to survive, while Mandroid is now a forced, artificial combination of Cybertron and Earth stuff that needs artificial energon patches to survive.

Side note but were energon patches a thing before Rescue Bots? I don’t think they were. If that’s true then it’s neat to see Rescue Bots original stuff becoming part of the larger TF mythos :D Makes sense given that Nicole Dubuc and others worked on both shows

side side note but how exactly did humans end up with control of the energon supply anyway. did they ever mention something abt agreeing to that in return for a planet to live on or something and I just forgor?

I kinda wish they’d built up the return of Mandroid and his collaboration with what’s-her-face a bit more, but I guess this in-and-of-itself is setup for season 2.

Yeah WHO coulda seen THAT coming 😬😬😬

Btw did we uh. Ever see the aftermath of Hashtag & co.’s prison break? We saw Skullcruncher getting dragged back inside so I think we’re supposed to assume everyone got recaptured, but given there’ve been hints at Soundwave and Starscream being up to no good, it wouldn’t surprise me if it turns out they got away.

Especially since she’s like “they’re all disposable” and there’s this dramatic reveal of Hardtop, Skullcruncher I think, and …………………a bunch of empty cells. lmao

I thought Jawbreaker was gonna get his altmode this season bc I definitely saw a leak of I think a rough animatic that showed what it was, but I guess that won’t be ‘til next season. When is that btw bc I Need it.

I don’t remember if I’ve mentioned this yet but I Love the facial animations in the show, they’re really really good.

#Earthspark spoilers #Chal watches Transformers

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kingslayerstew · 7 months

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i've talked a bit abt this before but i love thinking about the different perspectives kiroranke and wilk had on the past, more specifically how wilk holds on to it and how kiro chooses not to look back. it shows in how wilk is the one we know more about despite his screentime being entirely concentrated in flashbacks. wilk puts great importance in retaining things and passing them on, whether it's physical items such as clothing and instruments from his village or abstract things such as customs, knowledge, language. even his name is something he kept from his childhood, though it may have been smarter not to. his intelligence is defined by his superb ability to absorb and remember information. he doesn't keep anything to himself: he's very chatty, sharing information with whoever's around to hear, which doesn't mean he won't be selective about what information and who he shares it with-- it's just that he's constantly telling others about things he's learned or experienced. it makes sense. what he and his comrades feared most was culture becoming lost and forgotten, and if you could say anything about wilk, it’s that he leaves an impact on people. psychologically, materially, ideologically, wherever he goes he leaves a trace. he tattooed the convicts using his own spit. every item he took with him from karafuto was passed down. rather than his posthumous presence being subtle and vague, it's intense and candid just like he was. kiroranke is not like that at all. out of the two he's more cordial, more considerate, easier to understand, but also more opaque and secretive. where i’d attribute the mystery surrounding wilk to narrative framing, the information omitted about kiro is information he decides not to disclose. though the sinister framing that was originally present was a red herring, the mystery is intentional. kiro is honest about his feelings and he believes his convictions are righteous. he will admit to darker episodes in his life; this reluctance to talk about his life before he met wilk (disregarding the likely possibility of noda just not having thought about it much) doesn’t read to me as stemming from a place of guilt or repression. i think this chapter of his life, his birthplace, his family, was something he decided he’d never return to, not out of reluctance but because he dedicated himself to something greater. this probably added to why he felt so betrayed when wilk had asirpa: he made a new home for himself when kiroranke had left his own behind to follow wilk. wilk settled down when they were supposed to constantly be in motion.

#GARY I NEED KIROWILK #gk

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glamorousruins · 2 years

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kinda excited to learn more abt ru ngl 👀

!!! I'm glad you're excited to learn about my son :000

Here is the only drawing of him I have finished so far kQJWEH

So here is a small bullet point list of ideas/facts about him!

bisexual Latino king

5'9 ft

hobbies: scrapbooking, bullying kissing Riddle, taking care of his son (Grim), photography, and being hot 25/8

is afraid of thunder/lightning, big dogs, and heights!! (Rip Mallie and Jack...and Kalim............... sorry babes

is intended to be the villain/ antagonist of my AU!

he can understand the spoken language in TWST, but not the written one :')))). So he currently is taking literacy lessons with Riddle after school!!

His motif/ symbol is a broken mirror/mirror shards !!!

17 years

he's a flirt. he rlly is. But on god, the second someone flirts back he bluescreens

he has no significant memory of his past life, he just remembers vague figures and scenes. So he has a scrapbook dedicated to every person he meets! It originally was just a scrapbook dedicated to trying to remember his family members (if he truly has any) but it soon morphed into one for remembering his friends

there is a scrapbook dedicated to his friends because he's scared he might forget them too one day. He does this to remember

he is a fear-driven villain with a savior complex

he's incredibly touch starved and will sometimes hold hands or cuddle with his friends on the more unbearable days (much to his dismay)

Believes that the mirror in Ramshackle, and the Dark Mirror, is the source of all the bad things that have happened to him and this school. He intends to "save" everyone from ever experiencing another bad thing again

tends to get into fights (whether or not he started them is another story)

likes just sitting/laying on the roof of Ramshackle and staring at the sky during the night (it's vv calming)

has a fat ass

Anyways that's just some quick facts kqjwehrhewjk if anyone is interested in a more detailed ramble about him lmk!!! I'd love to scream abt him because I love him

Maybe one day I'll get a proper ref of him done lmao. until then, enjoy this doodle

#save #twisted wonderland oc #twst oc #twst oc art #twisted wonderland #ruin nonsense #art #anyways here he is #he's just a silly little guy #until he's not and turns evil-#whoops #i think i just rlly like exploring topics and concepts where someone is ultimately forced into a position where they become the villain #because since he was forced into this role of saving the students from overblots #etc #he now thinks that he has to save Everyone #and he's so tired. god he's so tired #tired of everyone's bullshit-#crowley-#the overblots-#etc. he's done #so if he needs to burn down the school to the students from themselves-#then so be it.#it's what he was meant to do- is it not? Why else would he have been dropped in this horrid world #he wasn't a violent guy before this #truly!#but sometimes you have to adapt to your environment and he likes to think that he's simply a product of the world around him #I really wanted to explore the concept of a Yuu who does bad instead of good #because how cool would it be for the main cast to take down the very person who saved their lives on the battlefield?#how angsty would it be to possibly kill the person who gave you a second chance in life?#very interesting if u ask me

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damibara · 2 years

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in english class we finished hamlet. tbh i think the ending was kinda boring. shakespeare DID NOT put his whole pussy into it IMO. i have to write an essay abt it monday & tuesday next week. dunno what prompt i’m gonna choose yet

#hamlet by shakespeare was WAY less boring than beowulf & the canterbury tales (which is the stuff we covered in the 1st quarter #)#but it’s still not that interesting IMO #like Hamlet Spoilers i guess #but all the main characters die at the end #except for horario #beowulf was soooo fucking boring though #and the old english stuff in general is almost unintelligible to me #like that’s a whole different language #i can vaguely understand some of the words the same way i can for spanish #we read a revised modern english version #and it was way better and entertaining and i could actually Read it #like you’d have to Learn old english to actually read that… it’s basically a whole diff language #anyways #i like my english teacher she’s nice but i wish the stuff we read was more interesting #likeeee what abt the dude who hid a heart in a floorboard or whatever #that guy was interesting from what i remember from middle school #edgar allen pee or whatever #dami txt

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elmer-kasprzak · 2 years

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in honor of my post abt not every newsie being a wasp becoming my most popular post, here’s some fun hcs about the newsies nationalities and a sprinkle of religion (not much)

david jacobs - we’ll start with the most popular i suppose. he’s ethnically and religiously jewish, and i’m thinking his family is from a german-speaking country. austria is probably likely (there were a lot of jewish people in austria in the late 1800s), but germany is also a likely option. his parents probably emigrated to america before he can remember, and at the very least les was born in new york. all three siblings can speak german fluently, though they don’t have much of an accent. they were raised in new york.

elmer kasprzak - not to be biased or anything, but i’ve done quite a few thinks about elmer and his family history. he’s from poland, and moved to new york with his mom and dad sometime after his 5th birthday. because he grew up with english as a second language, he most likely had to attempt to learn a “proper” new york accent. he was born in a village close to the german-polish boarder, and so he probably also could speak some german. he could understand more than he could speak.

racetrack higgins - okay this is specifically talking about livesies racetrack (because 92sies racer is so very italian /pos). points. that man is irish, through and through. i want to say first or second generation american, but the idea that he has an irish accent is fucking hilarious so maybe he was born in ireland. either way, he’s catholic. a HUGE majority of irish people who moved to america were catholic, so it would make sense that he was, too.

york - okay, okay. i know he’s not technically a livesies or 92sies newsie, but i think he deserves to be talked about more. originally, this hc was a joke, but then i thought about it and suddenly i decided it was no longer a joke. york is from york. old york. britain. he’s a british little fuck and he has the accent and it’s so good. granted, because he moved to new york when he was 10, it’s a bit faded, but it’s DEFINITELY still noticeable. he’s proud of it, so good for him. actually, he’s probably the most wasp you can get.

graves - okay so this is something i’ve affectionately dubbed the anthony zas effect. basically, any newsie he plays is polish. graves is second generation american, although he doesn’t have much connection to his polish heritage. it’s most prominent in his surname (i hc it to be dudek, but that’s just me), but only spot really knows that. he’s also not one specific denomination of christian, and so he avoids any shit based off of that. he kinda flies under the radar.

buttons - okay i lied about york. this is the most wasp-like newsie. his last name is davenport. do i need to say more? he doesn’t really know much about his heritage. his family has been in america since before the civil war, and so it doesn’t really matter to him where he’s from. (hint: he’s british. that man is just english and it’s really funny).

okay… i’m so very exhausted so this list is short but if you have anyone else you want me to yell about when it comes to nationality hcs, lmk because i absolutely will. i’m vaguely thinking about more poc newsies, but i need to do more research on immigration policies before i do anything for them. until then, enjoy, gay people.

#just oli talkin'#newsies #livesies #elmer kasprzak #davey jacobs #david jacobs #buttons newsies #buttons davenport #york newsies #graves newsies #racetrack newsies #racetrack higgins #race newsies

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jiilys · 3 years

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would u help me out for a second. im in the mood to write for the first time, and i think your style is beautiful. sitting down n actually trying though, im stuck as fuck! i’m realizing that in your dialogue/scenes you’ve got a lot of Little Things. little tiny elements that are subtle & just enough. how are you deciding that lily is building a house of cards at the moment or sirius is sitting in a tree or whatever during a given scene? how do you come up with those ideas for dialogue that are so silly & real & sneakily tender? do you know where it’s going when you begin? any advice for just… starting something?

ps: i appreciate you. you make it look easy & that’s very very cool

This is a lovely question!! Sorry it took me so long to get to it, I didn’t want to get it wrong. Also I’ve included some examples to try and explain what I mean in practise, but it also comes off rather like plugging. tragically this is unavoidable. Anyway, all that being said I have no idea how to advise you about dialogue and coming up with it, I think just listening to people talk helps. Don’t forget contractions, and when in doubt always trust the reader to keep up, real people don’t say perfect or even grammatically correct sentences a lot of the time. We also cut each other off all the time, especially when we’re trying to be funny. Like, here’s an example from warm front:

“He’s not even two. He probably would have thought it was, like, having a lie down or something.”

Harry was laughing now, “A lie down?”

“Yeah, a spontaneous, truck-induced–“

“–Permanent–“ “

–Permanent, lie-down. I’m almost jealous now actually.”

Another thing, but people say um and like or can't speak or cut themselves off, especially when they’re nervous. James when Lily says she loves him for the first time: ‘“Wow,” He breathed, “I’m– wow.” He put both hands on her cheeks and kissed her crazy, abruptly, dumbly. Her head spun.’ He can’t even speak! Dumb boy.

I think natural dialogue sometimes just requires you to read it aloud, which is very embarrassing but ultimately quite useful in trying to figure out whether something sounds normal or not. Use casual words, and try not to go dictionary hunting: if you cant think of the word chances are your character can’t either

In terms of concepts I have no idea, but I do have a few tips. I write all my short one-shots in one document (its called ‘just bad’ lmao) so its easy to start something, write a few lines, and then if it doesnt work just start a new concept, but still have all the old stuff handy. if you feel like you’ve written yourself into a corner its probably because you took a wrong turn earlier, so its just a matter of going back up and figuring out where you turned onto the dead end, or where a line could be funnier and/or sadder and/or more meaningful. Sometimes the bare bones of a decent line is there but you have to work it a little.

In this harry/ginny thing where harry is apologising for all the attention and ginny brushes him off she says:

“It’s nothing,” her voice, all force, “Anyway, it’s more funny than annoying.”

The response went through a few drafts, all variations on the same thing:

(1) “You’re funnier.” [too short, doesn’t make sense, and not really that funny. unholy trinity]

(2) “You make it funny.” Harry said, looking at her for real, “It’s not– you make it like that.” [this could work! I have no idea why I cut this, I think I forgot abt it lmao]

(3) “You’re the funniest person I know, Harry said, sincerely, and Ginny felt her heartbeat all through her, “You make it funny.” [jumping from ‘its more funny than annoying’ to getting this sincere out of nowhere is a little much, even for harry who is famously whipped]

I ended up going with this:

“It’s nothing,” her voice, all force, “Anyway, it’s more funny than annoying.”

“You’re funny.” Harry said, looking at her for real, flustered, “I mean– you make it funny. That’s all you.”

It follows the flow of the conversation and I think the way he says it, ‘you’re funny’ like its obvious, and then being like oh fuck and over-explaining it stumbling a little “I mean– you make it funny. That’s all you.”. You know when you like someone and you say something that gives you away before you can stop yourself? I wanted it to sound like that. Just gotta keep in mind how people behave, we are so stupid a lot of the time, we give ourselves away.

The thing about short stuff i find is implying a lot of history without actually describing a lot of it. I normally do this by having memories come up as almost shards, one second of feeling. You know when you’re in a conversation with someone and they mention someone or a past event, and it rises to the top of your brain, but only for a second? i find sometimes when you’re reading stuff people will try and replay entire memories or events mid-conversation, which is not something you do when you think. You don’t need to replay it beat by beat, you were there! This sounds vague as hell so I’ll try and show you what I mean:

From good crimes: “Petunia is engaged.” Lily’s voice, raw and wrong, “To Vernon. Eliza Hunt told me at the supermarket.” Sudden flashes of Petunia, the only time he’d ever met her, sat in the back of Lily’s twenty-first, pinched and whispering. “Whose Eliza Hunt?” This seems as good a thing to say as any.

pretty on the nose (the phrase ‘sudden flashes’ is pretty so i'll allow it from past me). But see how you don’t need to know how Petunia didnt talk to anyone, how she left early, how she was the odd one out: you don’t need to read all that, you already know because she was sat in the back and because pinched is such a mean verb, spiteful and sharp, you can already imagine how the evening went without me saying so

From my proposal take, after Sirius finds out they’re engaged: Sirius’ grip on his shoulder tightened for one second, still grinning, and James knew what he meant. “I know.” He said, because only Sirius had been there for all of it, when they were fifteen, drunk on Firewhiskey for the first time and James had said I think I’ve fucked it, I think I’ve fucked it but I like her for real.

you don’t need a description of the whole night, what party they were at, who they were with, what they were talking about: the important bit is that Sirius was the first person he told, and that they’re both remembering that at the same moment because they’re soulmates lmao. You know when something big happens for a friend and you feel so full of pride & love that you feel like you’ll burst into confetti?? this needed to feel like that, and you only need a flash for it

I feel like I’ve sort of strayed off from what you asked me, which is really advice on how to start something. I normally start with a line, usually of dialogue, and then try and build from there because dialogue is my thing. You might have a different thing! Some people write from concepts or locations, or an image. i might start with one or a few lines of dialogue, write them down, and then try to build from there. For example for the proposal thing I started from james just saying “Marry me”, which I find more romantic than ‘will you marry me’, purely because it sounds like he simply couldn’t stop himself from saying it, like it rushed out. Another example, this thing started from just “don’t be mad at me” “okay” James agreed instantly, because he is such a sucker for her.

When I write I don’t normally know where I’m going! I normally set out to write something I think is vaguely funny and evokes An Emotion, and then I just play around with stuff until I get there. when I write certain stuff and I have scenes in mind, stuff I want to happen, but I find that if I try to plot it to tightly its not exciting to work on, because sometimes you write a good line by accident, that you hadn’t thought of when you sat down, and you surprise yourself. That is a really nice feeling! i want to maximise that feeling.

'What I mostly try to remember is that writing something down, anything down, is useful. Sometimes you write for a whole night and dont get anything useable, but its like clearing pipes. Sometimes you have to flush through shit to get to the good bits. All the rough stuff, the things you don’t like or didn’t work, you wrote to get you to the stuff that did work. All of the bad shit got you here! It wasn’t a waste, you were working to find the good thing

If I had any tips its just the usual stuff, read! It is annoying how much that helps. Also, and I know this may make you shudder, but reading poetry is useful just because in no other literary or media form is language so important. In comics you have pictures, in novels you have plot and character, in film you all that and cinematography, but in poetry you live and die by how good the words are. If you want recs here’s my poem roundup tag, that I do sometimes, or if you want something just now read this by Anne Carson, which uses words like ‘smashing’, ‘boatwash’, and ‘green’ in the best way possible. Also it has these lines: “Recently having learned to recognize the type of tree called sycamore, / I see them in any forest— / the ones that look harrowed, / in shreds, but / go also / straight up into life,”

I mean, think of a sharper image than that?? It’s not possible. Just try remember to stay true to your characters and that in real life, the little stuff is the big stuff. Little things the people around you do normally show they care more than big speeches, and if you want to show love that’s how to make it feel lived in. You want to build a world! the little stuff is usually the world. Take some from your own or dream the ones you wish you had.

This truly was a very kind message and I’m so grateful you like my stuff, I hope any of this was even half-useful, although now reading it back it is borderline nonsensical. I’m going to bed now, good luck with the writing, and don’t forget to send it to me!!

caro xoxo

#writing bitching #said it already but loved this message it was so thoughtful. seemed pretty articulate to me i think ur writing is gunna be just fine!!!#rooting for you & anyone trying to write something rn. words suck and are difficult! they are also better than drugs & sex. regretable #kindnesses

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queenlua · 3 years

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hey, i started following you recently and ur bio says ur a hacker? any tips on where to start? hacking seems like a v cool/fun way to learn more abt coding and cybersecurity/infrastructure and i'd like to explore it but there's so much on the internet and like, i'm not trying to get into anything illegal. thanks!

huh, an interesting question, ty!

i can give more tailored advice if you hit me up on chat with more specifics on your background/interests.

given what you've written here, though, i'll just assume you don't have any immediate professional aspirations (e.g. you just want to learn some things, and you aren't necessarily trying to get A Cyber Security Job TM within the next three months or w/e), and that you don't know much about any specific programming/computering domain yet.

(stuff under cut because long)

first i'd probably just try to pick some interesting problem that you think you can solve with tech. this doesn't need to be a "hacking" project at first; i was just messing around with computers for ages before i did anything involving security/exploitation.

if you don't already know how to program, you should ideally pick a problem you can solve via programming. for instance: i learned a lot back in the 2000s, when play-by-post forum RPGs were in vogue. see, i'd already been messing around, building my own personal sites, first just with HTML & CSS, and later on with Javascript and PHP. and i knew the forum software everyone used (InvisionPowerBoard) was written in PHP. so when one of the admins at my RPG complained that they'd like the ability to set multiple profile pictures, i was like, "hey i'm good at programming, want me to create a mod to do that," and then i just... did. so then they asked me to program more features, and i got all the sexy nerd cred for being Forum Mod Queen, and it was a good time, i learned a lot.

(i also got to be the person who was frantically IMed at 2am because wtf the forum is down and there's an inscrutable error, what do??? basically sysadmining! also, much less sexy! still, i learned a lot!)

the key thing is that it's gotta be a problem that's interesting to you: as much as i love making dorky sites in PHP, half the fun was seeing other people using my stuff, and i think the era of forum-based RPGs has passed. but maybe you can apply some programming talents to something that you are interested in—maybe you want to make a silly Chrome extension to make people laugh, a la Cloud to Butt, or maybe you'd like to make a program that converts pixel art into cross-stitching patterns, maybe you want to just make a cool adventure game on those annoying graphing calculators they make you use in class, or make a script for some online game you play, or make something silly with Arduino (i once made a trash can that rolled toward me when i clapped my hands; it was fun, and way easier than you'd think!), whatever.

i know a lot of hacker-types who got their start doing ROM hacking for video games—replacing the character art or animations or whatever in old NES games. that's probably more relevant than the PHP websites, at least, and is probably a solid place to get started; in my experience those communities tend to be reasonably friendly to questions. pick a small thing you want to do & ask how to do it.

also, a somewhat unconventional path, but—once i knew how to program a bit of Python, i started doing goofy junk, like, "hey can i implemented NamedTuple from scratch,” which tends to lead to Python metaprogramming, which leads to surprising shit like "oh, stack frames are literally just Python objects and you can manually edit them in the interpreter to do deliberately horrendous/silly things, my god this language allows too much reflection and i'm having too much fun"... since Python is a lot of folks' first language these days, i thought i'd point that out, since i think this is a pretty accessible start to thinking about How Programs Actually Work under the hood. allison kaptur has some specific recommendations on how to poke around, if you wanna go that route.

it's reasonably likely you'll end up doing something "hackery" in the natural course of just working on stuff. for instance, while i was working on the IPB forum software mods, i became distressed to learn that everyone was using an INSECURE version of the software! no one was patching their shit!! i yelled at the admins about it, and they were like "well we haven't been hacked yet so it's not a problem," so i uh, decided to demonstrate a proof of concept? i downloaded some sketchy perl script, kicked it until it worked, logged in as the admins, and shitposted a bit before i logged out, y'know, to prove my point.

(they responded by banning me for two weeks, and did not patch their software. which, y'know, rip to them; they got hacked by an unrelated Turkish group two months later, and those dudes just straight-up deleted the whole website. i was a merciful god by comparison!)

anyway, even though downloading a perl script and just pointing it at a website isn't really "hacking" (it's the literal definition of script kiddie, heh)—the point is i was just experimenting a lot and trying a lot of stuff, which meant i was getting comfortable with thinking of software as not just some immutable relic, but something you can touch and prod in unexpected ways.

this dovetails into the next thing, which is like, just learn a lot of stuff. a boring conventional computer science degree will teach you a lot (provided you take it seriously and actually try to learn shit); alternatively, just taking the same classes as a boring conventional computer science degree, via edX or whatever free online thingy, will also teach you a lot. ("contributing to open source" also teaches you a lot but... hngh... is a whole can of worms; send a follow-up ask if you want that rant.)

here's where i should note that "hacking" is an impossibly broad category: the kind of person who knows how to fuck with website authentication tokens is very different than someone who writes a fuzzer, who is often quite different than someone who looks at the bug a fuzzer produces and actually writes a program that can exploit that bug... so what you focus on depends on what you're interested in. i imagine classes with names like "compilers," "operating systems," and "networking" will teach you a lot. but, like, idk, all knowledge is god-breathed and good for teaching. hell, i hear some universities these days have actual computer security classes? that's probably a good thing to look at, just to get a sense of what's out there, if you already know how to program.

also be comfortable with not knowing everything, but also, learn as you go. the bulk of my security knowledge came when i got kinda airdropped into a work team that basically hired me entirely on "potential" (lmao), and uh, prior to joining i only had the faintest idea what a hypervisor was? or the whole protection ring concept? or ioctls or sandboxing or threat models or, fuck, anything? i mostly just pestered people with like 800 questions and slowly built up a knowledge base, and remember being surprised & delighted when i went to a security conference a year later and could follow most of the talks, and when i wound up at a bar with a guy on the xbox security team and we compared our security models a bunch, and so on. there wasn't a magic moment when i "got it", i was just like, "okay huh this dude says he found a ring-0 exploit... what does that mean... okay i think i got that... why is that a big deal though... better ask somebody.." (also: reading an occasional dead tree book is a good idea. i owe my firstborn to Robert Love's Linux Kernel Development, as outdated as it is, and also O'Reilly's kookaburra book gave me a great overview of web programming back in the day, etc. you can learn a lot by just clicking around random blogs, but you’ll often end up with a lot of random little facts and no good mental scaffolding for holding it together; often, a decent book will give you that scaffolding.)

(also, it's pretty useful if you can find a knowledgable someone to pepper with random questions as you go. finding someone who will actively mentor you is tricky, but most working computery folks are happy to tell you things like "what you're doing is actually impossible, here's why," or "here's a tutorial someone told me was good for learning how to write a linux kernel module," or "here's my vague understanding of this concept you know nothing about," or "here's how you automate something to click on a link on a webpage," which tends to be handier than just google on its own.)

if you're reading this and you're like "ok cool but where's the part where i'm handed a computer and i gotta break in while going all hacker typer”—that's not the bulk of the work, alas! like, for sure, we do have fun pranking each other by trying dumb ways of stealing each other's passwords or whatever (once i stuck a keylogger in a dude's keyboard, fun times). but a lot of my security jobs have involved stuff like, "stare at this disassembly a long fuckin' time to figure out how the program pointer got all fucked up," or, "write a fuzzer that feeds a lot of randomized input to some C++ program, watch the program crash because C++ is a horrible language for writing software, go fix all the bugs," or "think Really Hard TM about all the settings and doohickeys this OS/GPU/whatever has, think about all the awful things someone could do with it, threat model and sandbox accordingly." occasionally i have done cool proof-of-concept hacks but honestly writing exploits can kinda be tedious, lol, so like, i'm only doing that if it's the only way i can get people to believe that Yes This Is Actually A Problem, Fix Your Code

"lua that's cool and all but i wanted, like, actual links and recommendations and stuff" okay, fair. here's some ideas:

microcorruption: very fun embedded security CTF; teaches you everything you need to know as you're doing it.

cryptopals crypto challenges: very fun little programming exercises that teach you a lot of fundamental cryptography concepts as you're going along! you can do these even as a bit of a n00b; i did them in Python for the lulz

the binary bomb lab is hilariously copied by, like, so many CS programs, lol, but for good reason. it's accessible and fun and is the first time most people get to feel like a real hacker! (requires you know a bit of C beforehand)

ctftime is a good way to see when new CTFs ("capture the flag"s; security-focused competitions) are coming up. or, sometimes CTFs post their source code, so you can continue trying them after the CTF is over. i liked Stripe's CTFs when they were going, because they focused on "web stuff", and "web stuff" was all i really knew at the time. if you're more interested in staring at disassembly, there's CTFs focused on that sort of thing too.

azeria has good ARM assembly & exploitation tutorials

also, like, lots of good talks out there; just watching defcon/cansecwest/etc talks until something piques your interest is very fun. i'd die on a battlefield for any of Christopher Domas's talks, but he assumes a lot of specific x86/OS knowledge, lol, so maybe don’t start with that. oh, Julia Evans's blog is honestly probably pretty good for just learning a lot of stuff and really beginner-friendly?

oh and wrt legality... idk, i haven't addressed it here since it hasn't come up in my own work much, tbh. if you're just getting started you're kind of unlikely to Break The Law without, y'know, realizing maybe you're doing something a bit gray-area? and you can cross that bridge when you come to it? Real Hacking TM is way more of a pain-in-the-ass than doing CTFs and such, and you'll learn way more with the latter, so who cares lol just do the fun thing

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ghostxraven · 3 years

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hi pi! i hope you are well :) if you'd like to, could you share more abt poison and ghoul as parents? i love them so much <3

hi eden! i’m well ty!! and i would LOVE to

uhhh so they’ve raised a kid before, obviously, but when the girl was a baby all of them were teens (ghoul & poison specifically were about 16 when she came home for the first time) so the ‘parenting’ style with her was different than it was with charlie. mostly because it was their first time trying to take care of a child and so when charlie came home they were a bit more confident but ALSO definitely because they mellowed out a bit (poison mostly) when they got older. with the girl it was a more complicated situation — the fab four were somewhere between parental figures and older siblings to her, she was able to get away with a lot more stuff but also saw a lot more claps because they didn’t have any way to keep her from that. with charlie they were able to keep a bit more from her — the girl could watch her, when claps happened, and by the time charlie was born they’d stopped looking for violence/picking fights with dracs, crows, etc. too, which helped.

i think when they were talking about having a baby, one thing that was really important to them was being a Team. so they do their best to talk to each other about everything. and especially when charlie is very little, she always wants to be held, so they take turns passing her back and forth. if poison’s got her, ghoul will make her formula and bring it out for her, with a kiss for both of them and a can of power pup for poison. if ghoul’s got her, it’s poison who’ll get the clothes/bottle/diapers/etc. teamwork!

ghoul has a tendency to talk to babies like small adults. serious faces, serious questions, “uh huh, mm hm, tell me more” with babytalk. i think he kinda talks like this with charlie (and the girl. but this clip specifically makes me think about charlie). he’s very gentle, very good with kids, diagnosed with older sibling syndrome. the problem with that is that he can be a little fussy and overbearing when charlie gets older (he tries not to be. but sometimes he can’t help it 😔) um i think he’s particularly good at doing charlie’s & the girl’s hair. at the same time that he’s good with kids he also has a tendency to take the girl and later, charlie, to dubiously safe situations (ie bomb deals/trades with sort-of dangerous rough-and-tumble crews in like. a jerryrigged baby bjorn/sling with a bag of teddy grahams and a sippy cup in a diaper bag. it does occasionally help deescalate situations if the other crew is jumpy.) also i think ghoul will sing her little songs to help her go to sleep and keeps her with him if he’s working in the shed/diner and she’ll be in either her highchair or on a blanket with her toys where he can keep an eye on her.

poison loves kids and is an older sibling but is also very nervous about turning out like what he vaguely remembers his parents being. also between starting the crow program and leaving the city with kobra he wasn’t....the BEST older sibling (he was actually kind of a dick, and really regretted it later). and they really don’t want to project any of that (any issues whatsoever, really) onto a child, so they’re really careful with kids. they kind of treat the girl and charlie like they’re breakable, especially when they’re very small babies. almost....touch-shy? like especially as a teen he would smile at kids and play with the sandpups at gravel gertie’s when the four volunteered, but he wouldn’t want to hold them, wouldnt want to touch them too much, and that carried over a bit with the girl and even when they had charlie. they got better about that, though they still have a tendency to overthink the way he interacts with kids and talks to them. the upside is that he’s very soft with the girl & charlie, and once he got more used to it, he wanted to make sure they weren’t touch-starved and started being a lot more touchy-feely. it’s like all their sharp edges that outside crews see (and even some that friends/members of their crew see) get smoothed over with their kids. poison’s a bit of a pushover for the girl & charlie so they’ll come home from the market with a new pack of crayons and a little pouch of candy just because charlie pointed at them and made big puppy eyes. ghoul’s more willing to tell her no, so they DO balance each other out. on the other hand if poison is on a run alone with charlie there’s no one to stop them from buying her a new toy or stopping on the way to let her play at gertie’s even if there’s a time crunch <3 (and they will). poison will also take her out on drives if she’s fussy during the night, and he’s a night owl so he’s pretty willing to sit up late with her when she’s an infant and needing to eat formula or be held at like 3 or 4 am.

they keep her crib in their room until she’s old enough to have her own; ghoul made her a mobile out of meticulously cleaned and sanded down spare parts from discarded projects and poison painted the wall behind it. i don’t wanna call them crafty because that makes them sound like a diy pinterest couple (tho. modern au that’s honestly what they are) but they do make a lot of stuff for the girl/charlie (and even later jet’s little cousin) including but not limited to: a new highchair (the girl’s was a lil old by then and also uh. made of a crate and some wood planks), a set of blocks with her name on it, a drac-in-the-box, a monkey halloween costume based off a picture in one of cherri’s many books, and a plush animal (rabbit? giraffe? horse? yes) only a little more finessed than the one ghoul made for the girl when they first adopted her.

other assorted thoughts: they do the little swinging thing between them when they’re standing on either side holding her hands.

poison draws pictures with both the girl and charlie.

charlie will help ghoul make food in the kitchen and steal little bits of batter while ghoul pretends not to notice.

charlie loves being in on a secret so she gets to help plan birthday “surprises” for both her parents & uncle kobra and jet. sometimes it’s not so secret but she gets so excited about it that obviously no one’s going to point it out to her.

when she’s about four charlie finds a hurt baby bird out on the carpark in front of the diner and through the combination of her & the girl making a “presentation” on all the reasons they should be allowed to keep it and ghoul making soft sad eyes at the baby bird in the shoebox poison reluctantly says she can take care of it until it’s better. by the end of the chick’s stay with them poison cries when they have to let it go, so.

this isn’t necessarily a poison/ghoul parenting thought but it is charlie-related um i think the girl was super excited to be an older sister and even though they have a ~14 year age gap between them the girl and charlie are very close. charlie thinks the girl is the PEAK of cool and if they aren’t going to be doing something overly teenage and stupid the girl will let charlie tag along with her and her friends sometimes. she’s also very patient in playing games with her and charlie’s most vocal advocate when it comes to doing stuff she wants (charlie wants to go to see doc. charlie wants a popsicle. charlie wants to play at the playset in zone 3. charlie wants to borrow a movie from uncle cherri) and can understand her when she’s first learning to talk even better than poison or ghoul especially really early on. she’s the diner’s best CJ translator (also i think charlie has a bit of a speech impediment & is hard of hearing so for people outside of the fab four & their circle of friends it can be hard to necessarily understand everything she’s saying; the girl really helps with this and they practice sign language together with ghoul since he’s the best at ZSL in the crew. also she’s autistic just like poison)

anyways wah i talked a lot sorry but i hope this is what you were looking for! (i always love talking about my canon tysm for giving me the opportunity 🥺❤️)

#ttlotfk #killjoys california #danger days #headcanons #funpoison #pi's personal #query on top #treasured mutuals #january tag ❄️#hcs #charlieeeeee :} & the girl!!#i love the girl......i love the idea of her being the Super Cool older sister who takes her tiny baby sister everywhere <3 #bitches really do be like 🤲 *projects childhood and personal experiences/siblings’ life experiences onto fictional characters*#ty eden!!!#long post

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quensty · 3 years

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okay for the wips game:

hnnnnnng

emergency fic for clout

BELA

the architecture of a bird wing

tell me everything

me through a megaphone: LIZZY DESERVES THE WORLD BUT THE WORLD DOESN’T DESERVE LIZZY 🗣🗣🗣 i’ve actually answered “emergency fic for clout” and “BELA” here (first excerpt) and here (last excerpt), respectively. i fully expect u will bully me abt the former.

i can’t explain to u how nervous i was to open “hnnnnnng” but actually! this one is maybe one of my least embarrassing wips. i watched shall we dance? (2004) a few months ago, and even though there’s a lot i didn’t like abt it, i REALLY liked the friendship btwn john and paulina. i was obsessed with why, if neither of them was romantically interested in the other, there was still this inexplicable tension btwn them (i chose to ignore the misogynistic explanations 😑 i do not see them). so i decided they must’ve been soulmates, but like. soulmates who only wanted to be friends. yk?

Things are going well. He likes the class, practices the waltz in the empty bathrooms at work and in his bedroom before Beverly gets home. It’s exciting having a hobby for the first time since law school, learning something with a group of people who know nothing about him.

And he gets to see Paulina, gets to watch her slide gracefully across the hardwood with that sad flicker in her eyes. He likes being able to talk to her—on the days he finds the opportunity—and likes it even more when she brings her shields down long enough to respond.

Then he invites her out to dinner, and the vague good humor she’d been extending him immediately disappears, leaving behind only a coldness that pins John where he is.

“Mr. Clark,” she says, “I take dancing extremely seriously.”

He nods. “Yes. Of course.”

“So you understand why I hope your intention for joining the class was not to pursue me,” she goes on mercilessly. “Despite our… unique situation.”

It’s the first time either of them has ever acknowledged it outright. It’s not the way John would’ve liked, not with the clashing hurt and anger in her body language, not with her looking at him in that way. He feels like an asshole, like the guys who slip their hands past the small of her back when they dance. He didn’t mean his invitation that way at all. He wants to tell her so, but he can feel her disdain in the back of his mind, and the words don’t come.

Her eyes flick down to his ring finger, and his shame spikes.

“Please send my regards to your wife,” she says.

Then she leaves.

i love the paulina i’ve made in my head who is mean and doesn’t like men <3 out of curiosity, i checked to see the tag for this and realized i would be the first person to post anything for this movie alksjfksjf. as it should be, tbh.

lizzy u are going to hate me. “the architecture of a bird wing” is an aftg wing fic that was last edited in 2017!!!!!! what the hell!!!!!!! the worst part is that i actually remember writing this. the only kinda interesting thing i remember abt this is that neil was what i had vaguely called an “anagepsis” (i HATE 2017 me). wings in this universe get bigger and fluffier the more ur loved, and if no one really loves u, ur wings are weak and bony. three guesses as to what neil’s wings looked like. i think i’d also tried coming up w a way to incorporate flying into exy, but then i’d realized i was basically just describing quidditch.

#the writing is shit so i won't force u to read that. i want to keep ur good opinion 😌#anyway if ur not following tumblr user saestrah GO FOLLOW THEM #and thank you :) <3 #mutuals #quen writes

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selfcareparker · 3 years

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LMAOO I WAS GONNA BRING UP FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLIDER BUT I WASNT SURE IF YOU WERE WATCHING IT HSKAJ (are you liking it? i know it’s only the first episode but ya know, another one tomorrow night- well tomorrow night for me, and did you like wandavision?? i loved it!!)

oh my goodness i’m watching lion king while writing this and i haven’t seen it in a while and i am..... emotional. but anyway, i love that streaming services think that imma pay for them while they charge $50 a month. like yes of course i have that kind of money and i am going to give it to you to watch tv 🙄 that $50 is budgeted to sims thank you. (ALSO SIMS!!! i’ll get to that in a minute) now see if i don’t google levidia right this minute LMAOO, not that i’m gonna use it.. just for the research...

AND HDKSHS SEND THAT CHAOS WALKING LINK LMAO i saw it for the third time with a different one of my friends and she wasn’t the best one to see it with? she literally was on her fucking phone and i was like ok whatever her loss not mine, and idk if you’ve read the books or if you’ve seen it by now, but by the end of the whole movie, after they’ve confirmed THE THING throughout the whole movie she asked the dumbest question and i’m like diD YOU NOT WATCH THE MOVIE, and i guess she didn’t. so. this sounds so vague but i don’t wanna spoil the movie for you just in case lol.

THE STORY LMAOO, so A DIFFERENT FRIEND LOL, like my oldest bff, we had a day together and we wanted to go see chaos walking. and i honest to God thought that no one would be seeing this movie. like NO ONE. every day, i checked the theater seating and no one was there right? plus i really wanted us to have the theater to ourselves. so we sit in the wrong seats, the row in front of us, STILL THINKING WE’RE ALONE. and then these 3 older people came in AND IM ABOUT TO SCREAM FHSJSH AND IM LIKE “are we in your seats?” and they we were like uh yeah, AND IT WAS SO BAD LMAOO , we’re moving and everything would’ve been FINE but my friend’s reclined seat was going down so slow and as it’s going shes LITERALLY SAYING ALOUD “awkward awkward awkward” so she thinks forget it, lemme just get up. HER BAG GETS CAUGHT ON HER CHAIR AND HER FRIES AND THEY SPILL ALONG WITH HER HONEY MUSTARD 😭😭 ALL OVER THE FLOOR! so i’m trying not to laugh lmao but those aren’t even our seats and we just made a mess, so naturally, i get on the floor and start cleaning it up with my napkins (this is going for too long) AND MY FRIEND IS STILL SAYING “awkward awkward awkward awkward” and i’m really abt to crack up bECAUSE LIKE SHUT UP HAHAHA and we’re cleaning it and shit and the oldest lady is gonna say “yeah you’re not gonna make an old lady get on the floor, are you?” AND I WANTED TO LAUGH AND SCREAM AT THE SAME TIME BC DID WE ASK YOU TO, NO, so then i had to get the manager and she helped us clean it, we got new fries and everything was fine, it’s just a crazy story bc LITERALLY WE COULDVE AVOIDED IT AND EVERYTHING BUT THESE ELDERLY PEOPLE HAD TO COME AND SEE THIS MOVIE😭😭 at least the gentlemen was nice.. he helped us clean. but then his wife was like “i aM nOt siTTiNg tHeRe” and at first i thought she was a teenager bc of her stink attitude but her husband was nice. and it’s not like we weren’t cleaning it up, we were!!! like i was so apologetic- anyway.

about sims! do you play console or pc? wait,, you already told me you play pc bc your computer was broken, i’m glad you can play now though :’)) litetally when i read in the tags that you’re playing sims !!!! and are you hyped for bunk beds? i have cc so i’ve had them for a bit, but they were glitchy... but i’m so excited we have them now! i should really play sims today...

GURL IM SO PROUD OF YOU 🥺🥲 i know you aren’t fluent in everything and you aren’t a linguistic genius LMAO but it’s still soooo amazing :’) here i am reading the captions while ur just going hahah, yea i tried duolingo but.... i didn’t stick to it HDJSH talking to you though makes me so interested because you know all these languages, not even studying them like that, but you have this foundation and ahh it’s just super cool. LOL YOU DONT SOUND LAME HAJA IM TELLING YOU ITS SO SO COOL, i’m loving this lesson btw oh my goodness- HSKAJS YOU THOUGHT I WOULD ALREADY KNOW THAT??? HDYSJHS MY ONLY ENGLISH SPEAKING ASS??? HAHAHAHHAH i find that word (Rindfleischetikettie- i’m not gonna write the whole thing i’m sorry) very interesting... like... wow. did you have to google that or did you just know lmao

OKAH THE WATER THING HDKDJDKS UR GONNA TERRIFY ME HAHAH OH MY LORD- first of all CROATIA 😍😍 but thinking about it like that, I WOULD FREAK OUT TOO HAHSGSG i never go that deep into the water, or if i do i have my dad with me lol and i kind of hold onto him bc ive seen/heard too many things about people being dragged into the sea. but i loveee the water (i wanted to be a mermaid soooo bad ohmigosh)

I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW ONE CANNOT LIKE MUSIC ITS AWFUL !! lmao yeah i haven’t even listened to harry’s his first album, everyone says they love it more. I WAS GONNA SAY IMMA LISTEN TO ONLY ANGEL BUT THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE IT HUHAHAH also i have never listened to anything by mgk (i actually had to google who he was IM SORRY😔) i’m tempted to listen tho lol PLEASE JUSTIN BIEBER- I PROMISE IM NOT LAUGHING AT U IVE JUSY NEVER HAD SOMEONE SAY THAT B4!! like i don’t know many people who’ve liked him bUT NOW IM GONNA LISTEN & the cardboard cutout- okay. 😭😭😭

oh my goodness to see the vamps live 🤧 TO SEE ANYONE LIVE PLEASE JJDGSHAHGD and little mix is so good oh my goodness- i actually haven’t been to that many concerts.. i was at my first one, elsie fest (it’s like a broadway thing really) in uhhh october of 2019, yea i took my mom for her birthday bc she loves darren criss and i’m obsessed with glee lmao OH MY GOODNESS YOUVE BEEN TO SO MANY!!! and those are such great artists 😩😩

LMAO UR FINE, hamilton is a musical that lin manuel miranda wrote and i think generally made? i’m obsessed, but basically it was on broadway and then recorded and put on disney+ ... idk i guess it counts a film bc it’s like a movie really cuz it was recorded but in what 2018 or 2016? i don’t remembers the date that is on disney+ but it’s strange how i got into it, a lot of my friends were obsessed and i was like uhh why? and while researching it and watching it, trying to figure out why people love it... i fell in love with it LMAO but the music is FANTASTIC and lin is incredible😭 but yes yes yes i loveeeee high school musical!! my dad actually took my cousins to see it on ice or something (i absolutely forget lmao) but i don’t know how people don’t know hsm. it upsets me.

OKAY IM DOWN TO THE BOTTOM HAHAHA (it takes me so long to respond, now i’m on lion king 2 WHICH IS SO GOOD PLEASE FHHSSHHSHSH) i could respond in chunks but i kind of enjoy responding like this? it feels a bit like a letter but if this whole thing is overwhelming i’ll cut it up lol

+ yes that was me about your fic and sleep and everything lol but it was so good😭 i don’t understand how you write peter so well like you have this ability to capture his.. everything? i’m crine. all the time. over your fics. & i cannot describe my happiness for youuuu :’) i’m so happy you’re writing again 🥺🥰 the thing about how you only want to write the long peter fic but you don’t know how to continue... i feel that so so so hard, i don’t think i told you but ughh i was so blah bc of that feeling of having pent up inspiration for only one fucking thing and not being able to write it. it’s so frustrating 😭

not to add more to this but i need to vent a bit? the situation is definitely different bc with your major it obviously requires for you to ya know, know english lol, but uhm bc i’m homeschooled ive been cheating on all my work SHSHDHSJ like i google the answers but i’m still learning! it’s just..... i find it so unnecessary, like going for an audition no one is gonna say to me “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” like tf??? there’s literally no point. i’m gonna be getting into voice lessons again soon and i’m already doing dance, AND i’ll be doing this summer camp program (more hamilton lol) and thinking about school is only making me stress more, like i haven’t been able to rehearse dance at all this week bc of it...... so

hahaha reading your tags, lonely anon would still be accurate HAHAHHAHA // another add: yea i love ur current theme, i’ve gotten used to “seeing you” like this, but anything will look super pretty :)) ALSO HOW IS IT STILL SNOWING THERE, i swear it’s getting warmer and warmer by the day here 😭🤧

these long ass posts, my gosh🥲 lonely lovely anon <3

Omg yes it does feel like a letter sldkdj and then the few days of waiting also make more sense okay i love this ❣️💕❤️💓❤️💞🧡💜💘(wtf)sksjhz

Dear lovely anon,

ALSKSJVKD yes i‘m liking falcon and winter soldier dlkdh i haven‘t watched the second episode yet but i‘ll watch it tomorrow! but i didn‘t watch wandavision........ eidislskks i was going to but idk i wasn‘t that interested in it and watching series is already too much of a commitment (what can i say i‘m a Sagittarius—🤧 (no i’m joking i actually know NOTHING about starsigns)) didjj that i couldn‘t force myself to watch it, ALSO i hate (idk if this is an unpopular opinion) when every episode is like a whole hour. i‘m rewatching an old series today (it‘s german so i won‘t even get into it) and the episodes are 25 mins each and i‘ve already watched 8 episodes today ridlndjdjd,,, and i feel like if the episodes were an hour each i wouldn‘t have gotten past episode 2 today like idk.... even if series had the same length in total, i prefer when the individual episodes are shorter idk why tho tbh (so yeah i already wasn‘t 100% convinced about watching wandavision so i just couldn’t make myself watch a bunch of 1hour episodes— i‘ve heard that it‘s good tho- but i‘m not much of a series person so. Dldkk (have we talked about this already??? sorry i don‘t remember what i said lol and i couldn‘t find my own post anymore so dkdjsh) (WAIT I JUST CHECKED THE WANDAVISION EPIOSRDES ARENT EVEN THAT LONG??? Okay wait i might watch it now - did you like it? let me know if i should watch it— why did i think they were 60minutes???)

okay another confession i‘ve never watched the lion king????? i mean i watched it when i was a child but i was too young to actually pay attention to any kind of plot i just liked the songs lol sldkdj i‘ve been meaning to watch it for years tho 🦁 (idk it just felt appropriate to put a lion emoji lmoaoo)

OH MY GOD THE CHAIS WALKING/CINEMA STORY AHSJSKKS😭😭😭😭 NOOOOO (very fitting that there was so much chaos when you were watching a film that has chaos in the title loool) and the “awkward awkward awkward“ SAME SKSKSLSKDJ, that‘s literally me 24/7 ahajshshhshshsh. Like i was so skdjdjdkdllsldksnsnsnsb while i read what you sent me djslslsjdjdbdn why are old ladies always so grumpy btw 🥲🥲🥲 at least the man was nice tho! and wait did i read that right... you have fries (which, to me, are called chips dusuusldk) at your cinemas?? (Movie theatres sorry sksjsh) we just have popcorn and nachos and drinks i want chips too when i‘m watching a film what😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺

Also i still haven’t watched it so thanks for not spoiling it!!! (idk when i’ll watch it i’m so bad with films and even worse with series💀💀💀- same with cherry. i literally forgot all about cherry, i was SO hyped when the trailer came out like i’ve never been so excited about a movie... and then it came out... and i still haven‘t watch it like what‘s wrong with me???? Dkdjdjdjdklsl i feel like i‘m not gonna watch it anytime soon tbh, but i wanna watch chaos walking i just have to find the time

Okay and @ your other friend who wasn‘t paying attention like why are you even watching the film then???? but ok (omg this sounds so mean i‘m sure she‘s very nice but in this situation just like❔❔❔)

SIMS ahhh, BUNK BEDS, ahhhh sdljdjdjdkdkdldksj i actually haven‘t played it since the update 🤧🤧 i made both of my sims (enisa (bestselling author already, thank you) and michael (aspiring doctor)) go to university and bro it takes so long 😭😭 and you can‘t do anything else if you want them to do well so literally the last three times i played sims i was just constantly clicking their homework and computerd to write their assignments (i play it in german so idk what its called on the sims) and do their presentations and do them all over again so that they get better or whatever for HOURS, but imma play again soon

also i‘m living my fanfiction life loool, so i made my two sims neighbours (on the same plot tho but i made two small separate houses lol, i still wanted to control both of them at the same time but i made sure they didn‘t interact before i wanted them to skdjdjdk). and first they both experimented and got some experience in the love department you know (all genders, cause i have to live my sexuality even in a pc game slskdjh— wait, i‘ve never lived my sexuality irl like i‘ve done NOTHING nothing with guys nothing with girls (🥲) but maybe that’s why i want to do it even more in the sims) and then they met at uni and realised like hey we‘re neighbours and now they‘re together (but michael accidentally had an alien baby with another woman (who was an alien which i was not aware of) cause i wasn‘t paying attention like i said woohoo not try for baby like michael why is your pull out game so weak tf LSHDDHDJDJSKKDKSKDKS okay but making out and flirting and doing all the fun stuff in the sims turns me on way more than it should PFAHAHHAHSH) so idk why i told you this but I’m creating that neighbour!au in the sims lmaoooo

i did not have to google Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsübertragungsaufgabengesetz (just did it again😌 sisjshhs) but i might have mixed up the words überwachung und übertragung or i might have even forgotten a word skskks but in the end it doesn‘t matter (by linkin park- ok i‘m so sorry it‘s 2 am and i have a headache from having waveformers in my hair all day but i still wanted to reply to this now so sorry if i‘m not making any sense right nowbahahshah)

i wanted to be a mermaid too dldjdksksj like h2O and all those series convinced me i could be one like. i remember i‘d always go in the deep pool and attempt to swim like them in all the series with that wave motion i must have looked so crazy with my goggles as well dkdjsksöksj (i was like twelve but still)

so mgk has two sides one is hip hop/rap which is like ~~~~ idk he has good and bad songs, but his latest album is like punk pop snd I LOVE IT SO SO SO SO SO MUCH, so if you like punk pop I’d recommend his album tickets to my downfall (i don‘t blame yoj if you don‘t like it tho like about a year ago i would have HATED that type of music dkdkdkkd)🥴

Okay talking about music, there‘s this german rapper and he is... not a good person. he‘s literally a criminal and extremely sexist but to me he‘s still hot???????? he‘s even cute at times even tho he has tattoos everywhere and is like 6‘5 and is super aggressive but i see him and i‘m like 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 my heart beats only for you💘💘💘💘and he released a new song today and i watched the video and i‘m wondering wtf is wrong with me 😃 (he did look particularly cute cause he was high so idk he wasn’t really aggressive in this one) 😭 so i thought i‘d share that LMAO IDK

(not saying tattoos aren‘t cute btw i LOVE tattoos imma get some soon, but you know he looks like someone your grandma would be afraid of (and in his case rightfully so💀)

okay wait i‘m getting so tired it‘s 2 am i think i‘ll have to do the rest tomorrow but i wanted to do it now😭🥺🥺 see you tomorrow

it is now 3:42 am and i couldn‘t sleep so here we go again

girl you can laugh at me for liking justin tho skskks i wanna laugh at myself idk, like i said i really really really liked him a few years go, basically my life was at least 50% justin and then he went on a break for a while and released an album last year which i hated 🥴 but this album is wow. (Still weird to me because it‘s literally the definition of pop and i don‘t ever listen to pop?) and it‘s so weird because i used to know so much about justin and had so many friends who loved him as well and now it‘s like I’m listening to someone new? Don‘t get me wrong i never KNEW justin and i never will and i‘m aware of that shahsh but yeah i used to be soooo used to him and it‘s like reconnecting with an old friend and you realise you don‘t know that friend anymore- like you don‘t know them anymore at all. I mean justin is weird nowadays 😂😂😂 so pls laugh at me tbh dskksjsjsh

awww it‘s so wholesome that you gave your mom tickets to the concert 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i gave my mum tickets for pink like 2 years ago and she loved it so much and i was like 🥰🥰🥰 (i went with her) AND OMG GLEE ok so unfortunately i barely remember glee, but i used to watch it too!!!! And it‘s actually on my list of series i wanna watch (again) so youre making me want to watch it even more (but like i said i‘m bad with series so 😩😩😩 who knows when i‘ll rewatch it)

When all this pandemic shit is over (let‘s be hopeful <3333) then you need to go to as many concerts as possible!!!!! i‘ve been to SO MANY and it‘s literally one of the things in my life i‘m the most grateful for, concerts are some of the best experiences i‘ve ever had in my life especially the ones that are in smaller concert halls where you can feeeel the vibe and everyone‘s energy (and that sounds awful thinking about it mid-pandemic 😐) anyway—

Okay omg you‘re absolutely making me want to watch hamilton right now like omg i WANT TO WATCH IT NOW but it‘s 4 am sodndkdldl

what you said about my peter fics🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺like omg i love these emojis they literally just describe how i felt when reading what you said so, yes, 🥰🥺 + thank you :) it really means a lot <3

and no omg i totally get the studying thing. like last year before i graduated .. was that last year? yes wtf omg okaykdjdj, so the last three months before i had my final exams we were just in a lockdown and we didn‘t even have online classes. We had nothing except one teacher who left our group chat (😭) because she was mad at us (?) and one maths teacher who did an online ““lesson““ once a week. he‘d ask: so does anyone have questions. us: . Him: okay, bye then. So. Yeah dndldldj. But we had one online test and it was in german and like i read the book wee were supposed to read? but the questions on the test were all unanswerable (is that a word?) and i had to google everything (got an A tho 🤪 but only because i googled everything so i was so scared that i wouldn‘t be able to get a good result on the final exam because what if i‘d gotten used to just googling everything and i couldn‘t do it by myself anymore? anyway it was all fine in the end but yeah at times i couldn‘t even study because i had so much anxiety about studying and yeah- like this whole annoying cycle. but you said you‘re still studying———- okay wait 👁👄👁 i forgot what i was going to say??????????????????????????????????????????????????? Like wtf. Is wrong with me? And i‘m reading what you wrote again and i just don‘t know what i was going to say? Like i get what you‘re saying obviously but i‘m like? Idk 4am brain ayeee, please vent more if you need to and elaborate further because right now i‘m???? Too dumb to respond to this right now wtf. I‘m so sorry lmao ddlkdjdjd what is even going on like i‘m sitting here open mouthed just like ? But btw the fact that you have Voice and dance lessons is like SO FUCKING COOL like oh my god that is sosososos cool wtf, i was thinking that when you first talked about it too

And “i want you to chanel the knowledge within yourself of the centripetal force of the circle that is the table on this stage” ODHDKSLDBDJDOFIDKDNDLDK

Yes i know about the weather dkdkdkjd but it‘s getting (a lot) warmer here too and where i live we kind of get a weird type of wind called föhn (which literally means hair dryer but idk if that‘d the reason why it‘s called that, i‘m too tired to think of whether it makes sense rn) and it gives me headachesssssss and the changing weather is also giving me headaches 😭😭😭😭 so this season right now is just headache season and i hate summer so i wish it would just snow again lmao (okay it‘s getting so late that it‘s early already snd i can hear this bird chirping so fucking loud wtf i‘m also getting a headache 🤧🤧🤧) but at least i can do my new theme soon (i hope it‘ll look good🥺 and omg thank you for what you said about my current theme- i always feel like i‘m so bad with aesthetics, i obviously like my theme but i feel like every single person on tumblr has a theme that is prettier than mine so it was very nice to hear you say that you love it👉🏼👈🏼 (i‘m so used to it by now that i actually hate it lmao so it‘s getting yeeted soon and i‘m making megan thee stallion my pfp 🤪 (if the graphics and shit works out skdjdjdj)

#lovely anon #<333 #okay its so late now i dont wanna post it now in case i‘m too tired to notice losds of mistakes #but i also wanna post it now so.#*loads #i‘m posting it #and i absolutely do not mind if you answer like this!!!! but if you ever do feel like it‘s too much or you uust want to respond to one thing #in particular sooner then pls go ahead! <3

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aijee · 3 years

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tw // mentions of rape

imo u shouldn’t stop updating bc of the accusations against mg. headlines were fucking misleading, i actually thought he raped someone at first bcos of the word choice. ure writing about his public persona, not him irl. we dk him either way so is not like ure violating something or breaking ur morals or whatever. op literally stated that mg never made any comments towards her or touched her in any way, he just made jokes that made her uncomfortable but never directed to her, she explicitly said that mg was not the cause for her to go to therapy & the bullying accusations have been proven to be fake. i-carats decided to translate the new SA accusations without being fluent in korean and that caused a huge misunderstanding, that’s why k- and j- carats have been calmer about it. u shouldn’t believe the screenshots of the other op either bcos there has also been a lot of inconsistencies of them, like the time stamp with the battery issue, etc. due to some mistranslations, all of us thought that the chest touching person was a girl when it’s a guy, inconsistencies like that make the this op more invalid cuz with changes happening constantly, the story becomes less believable, hope yk what i mean. fuck i-carats for mistranslating and blaming him for everything, and for making this issue more complicated than it has to be, like with the chest op. they’re even the cause some ppl don’t believe anything. sorry if i sound like an asshole but i’m mad. if he did make the comments, i believe he’s most likely changed. i used to make rape jokes but now i definitely know better. pretty sure he does as well, yk how the treats ppl now, how gentle and kind he is now, etc. however, if he did touch the guy, obviously i will not support him anymore. i’m not trying to defend him but i’m clearing some things up. hope ure neutral abt this. have a good day & really hope u don’t stop updating.

Thank you for your honesty and raw feelings, anon. It’s okay to be mad and have feelings, especially when those feelings aren’t exactly good feelings. Unrelated to the actual Situation(tm), my therapist told me something like, “Try thinking of feelings as just feelings. They come and go. They aren’t necessarily reflective of you as a person.” I thought that my bad feelings or opinions of others prevented me from being good or a functioning person. Fact: people are multifaceted as hell and that’s valid.

Re: morals, that’s fair insight for sure. I think my hesitation comes with the inherent visualization and association of that persona with the person himself, if that makes sense. E.g. when I’m reading RPF, I still visualize the faces of the individuals involved like actors in my mind. In that sense, perhaps it’s a personal discomfort mixing with morals with regard to writing RPF with a certain name and face in mind, who happen to be attached to a persona/person attached to allegations that may or may not be true. In short, it’s messy and vague and I’m still in the middle of figuring things out myself.

I have and always will be a proponent of professional, paid translations—as in, looking towards people who translate for a living. Professional translation is extremely serious work; imagine how important it is in medicine, law, business? There is always a doubtful voice in my head towards fan translations, regardless of the content. That’s not to undermine the hard work of people learning another language, engaging in content they enjoy, wanting to share it with people, etc. But in very serious cases that could possibly really, really hurt people, I will never fully trust translations I can’t pin to a reliable source. It’s easy to reflexively trust fan translations since they objectively control so much of international fans’ consumption of content. It’s also easy for international fans to fixate on wordings in translations when suddenly the faves are doing something questionable (Do we question fansubs on casual videos? Not really). In reality what we need to focus on is the ideas presented, because translations will never be 100% accurate, especially those done by fans.

If it gives you any perspective, an interesting problem for POC’s healthcare experience is that bilingual kids of monolingual parents are often pinned as the “translator.” Yes, they’re able to communicate in multiple languages, but the specificity of the information presented, and the importance of detail, can be lost in translation, even for those who grew up learning two languages natively. Why? Because they don’t learn the minutiae of translation. You’ll often see professional translators constantly using references, relearning things over and over again, etc. Normal multilingual people focus on getting messages across, not those tiny, tiny details. Food for thought.

How people approach, perceive and interact with people attached to abuse is a very messy thing. There is very rarely a “right” answer. I fully support your approach with whatever happens, whether it stays the same or evolves. For my two cents, I think it’s important to remember that the most important relationship in this moment remains that of Mingyu with the potential victim(s) involved; we hold our relationships with our faves so sacred, but I’m just putting that out there for some more perspective I personally think is important. And a third cent: there are people really close to me in my life who have, frankly, abused me. That’s partly why I’m seeing a therapist. But that doesn’t mean I fully reject them, or will never harbor good feelings towards them ever. Abusive behavior can still be exhibited by fundamentally good people, as paradoxical as that sounds. People are capable of growth; goodness and badness aren’t necessarily inherent and unchangeable. I fully respect and admire you for owning your emotions like that! That can be hard to do comfortably.

I’m not invalidating your response whatsoever! At least, that’s not my intention. I just wanted to present some things to think about. It’s also okay if your opinions don’t or do change. It’s still pretty early in the fiasco.

#askaijee #I just...write so much #I genuinely wonder if people actually read through all these sandbox thoughts

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getallemeralds · 4 years

Text

actually the “english is my first language” thing feels so weird for me to say bc like.. it IS true... and im not fluent in any other languages... but it also just feels like The Tiniest Bit Incorrect. i guess its bc of like, me learning english thru Books:tm: and that mostly happening while i was in a country where only a few ppl i knew spoke english? so i didnt really have anybody, like, Properly Teaching Me or w/e’s supposed to happen there

then again i feel like that with a Lot of stuff bc my education is all kinds of fucked up. like, both in actual schooling and in Pop Culture whatever bc i was completely Away from america from when i was 6 to when i was 10 (and missed out on like, 2nd and 3rd grade asides from vague homeschooling) so a lot of ~90s Kids~, or i guess ~Zillenial Kids~ stuff goes right over my head and i feel weird about it

cause like. i struggle with words, i barely know anything abt history, i dont remember a lot of cartoons or books or popular toys or anything, im just... in a very weird place with like. all that.

anyway im still mad about salmon being said w/o an L

#leo chirps #txt #pat.txt

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deathvsthemaiden · 4 years

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🌻

Congrats! You have won access to a list of some of my most random thoughts in recent memory! Enjoy maybe (advance apologies for not linking any sources to any of the half remembered fun facts...don’t take them too seriously I never know what I’m taking abt 😬🤗)

•If you’re talking loud enough for people to hear you without trying or meaning or wanting to...it doesn’t count as eavesdropping!! @/my mother I am innocent! Learn some volume control 📢

•The older I get the more toxic and alienating I find the commonplace turn of phrase “I’d forget my head if it wasn’t attached!” Why is that painted as a bad thing...... 🥺💔❓I’d loveeee to forget my head. Just a few times. 👌🏽 As a treat.

•excluding the obvious, such as slurs, my least favorite words in the English language are landlocked (hideous reminder of my geographic state of affairs), and kismet. The latter is just so uglyyyyy the original language(s) it’s derived from make it sound so much better why can’t we just say kismat! I speak Urdu so I’m biased but like—

•I emphathize with fish an odd amount. I’ll eat them gladly and w gusto but I also find the level of suffering they’re allowed to feel staggering. It blindsides me. Blob fish used to (actually still do) freak me OUT!! Like my sister would scare me by showing me pictures of them w no warning. But apparently the reason they look the way they do is normally they live like 2000-4000 ft underwater and the decrease in water pressure as they’re drug up to the surface misshapes and deforms them and apparently this is very painful?? Even if it isn’t tho...the first time I read that. Immediate tears sprung into my eyes. And apparently some fish can choose to commit suicide? Like they just stop swimming and eating... god oh my god—!! They’re FISH!! Why are they so COMPLICATED!!! And I used to own a tank full of fish and usually fish don’t last long in our house! Rancid vibes you know? And my mom and I were so pleased these ones had lasted so long!! And then mysteriously they all just died too?? We did everything RIGHT! It was probably more than 2 years ago and we keep saying we’ll get more fish but I just don’t have the heart...I’m.....not ready to get hurt again so soon.

•apparently purple marble is/was a thing that exists. But the Romans used it up? Wild if true

•can’t stop thinking abt how elegant FGO!Bedivere would look in fencing gear

•My parents almost named me Sumbal

•You know how B&N has special gilded hardback editions of various classics? I will never forgive them for making their edition of Jane Eyre black/grey and WHITE!! MONOCHROME and BLEAK!! (Just bc it’s gothic!!!) It’s one of the most colorful books I’ve ever read!!! It swept me off my FEET! During the happiest parts of the book everything in my line of sight irl was GOLDEN I was in literal actual and true LOVE!!! I fell a-freshly in love w life bc of how much this book delighted me and they swaddle her in black and WHITE?? I can’t deal gentle reader I cannot deal—

•I have mixed feelings about poetry but I have a soft spot for The Tiger is out yes (you know the one, by the little boy? the ENERGY!!)+e. e. cumming’s The Grasshopper. On average poetry doesn’t make sense to me but grasshopper is the sort of (non)sense which I’m capable of appreciating. I dream of having a voice controlled fancy robot try to kill me so I can tell it to recite grasshopper and then it just explodes in confusion bc you can’t do that (recite grasshopper) 🐅 🤖

•I’ve lost track of the # of years I’ve waited in vain for Shoukoku no Altair to be localized and have official (physical!) English copies available for purchase, instead of just ebooks. Since the forgettable and upsettingly bad anime adaptation I’m afraid it’ll never happen ever...💔 I ache and yearn for naught but idk how to stoppp 😭

•The Cr*wn of L*ve by John Everett Millais is one of my most favorite paintings but I’m like. Embarrassed about it 👑 @my brain WHY. When did I become such a s*ppy gremlin. I blame ur fics and Jane Eyre Eve 😑 I was firmly in the ‘romance is a neurochemical con job’ camp just years before courtesy of my upbringing....what have I become 😶😶😶

•nothing screams “I hate you” like not appreciating+wasting food and also not returning the favor ever like it’s not a zero sum game but god is a little reciprocity too much to ask yes it is and yes I am sensitive and have been hurt before why do you as—🤐

•purposely vague but sometimes I wonder if I’d been one of those kids who put her head down on her desk in elementary school a lot and stopped listening to teachers whilst doing so maybe life, academically speaking, would go smoother for me now. But I was too afraid of getting in trouble and not yet the full fledged quitter you do (not literally) see before you today. Although the urge to put my head down wasn’t one I never felt...Missed opportunities alas

•I used to be able to handle spending any length of time in those mesmerizing aquarium tunnels and even enjoy myself in them but I’m now a more fragile and wise gal and can not even look at pictures w/o feeling intense WHJDNDNDND idek. They’re scary man. 🌊

•one of my favorite fun facts ever is this painter in 1881, Edward Burne-Jones finally realized mummy brown paint actually had bits of real mummies in it when having lunch with friends and was so unnerved he tried to give his tube of the paint a burial immediately. Like immmmeditately. (read this like a year ago in The Secret Lives of Color by Kassia St. Clair) 🎨 📖

#wow I didnt wanna be boring and only say 3-5 things so I listed way more but wow. this is a doozy I apologize sort of #asks #tyyyyyy 4 asking+ur patience #i took so long to answer I figured I should make it worth ur while....

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