#i wish we could be together every day

[lilithsaga]

Just got back from a relaxing weekend with bae, celebrating our anniversary. (Netflix & Chill style) 😏

I'm so happy they've managed to put up with me for all these years. I really am lucky. 🥰

#vtuber #envtuber #pngtuber #happy anniversary #was sure he would grow tired of me by now #but i still think we are stronger than ever #even with the ups and downs #i love them more than anything in the world #i wish we could be together every day #idiots in love #alright im done being sappy i promise #lilith saga rants in tags

[marblerose-rue]

all the bad dreams that you hide / show me yours, i'll show you mine

#my art #do not copy trace or steal #everlark #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #hunger games #the hunger games #thg #im still working on drawing people which adds to my nervousness x_x i wish i could be as confident as i am drawing animals #BUT YEAH IM SO NORMAL ABT THEM. I. #i literally have not gone a single day where i havent talked about them and im literally having to give myself limits on how much i can #read the books bc i literally went out to get a new library card JUST to do that #i literally cant believe when i was a kid i didnt like them as a couple . #i just couldnt appreciate the fake dating trope and i also took it very literally . and i was also like ten #ive had this ready to go but when i say ive had my mouse hovering over the post now button for a while i mean that so sincerely #PLEASE TALK TO ME ABOUT THE HUNGER GAMES i try not to overwhelm my sister but #i am very aware i am way more into thg than she is and we watched the movies together #ive been sending her literally every single video abt thg thinking she will enjoy it as much as i will and im probably driving her up #a wall AHBKJAHBHDFJGBKJDHBGG but its fine she expects nothing less #i have to get used to posting non cat art non warrior cat art #you can tell im stalling . just a little bit

[thirstyvampyr]

oh we broke up again

#*jerk off hand gesture* #i told him ''we're not even friends'' #we dont even hang out or do shit together #sometimes i go weeks without saying more than a few words out loud i just listen to him complain all day #i just cook and clean #do his paperwork #he pays the bills #im a fucking bang maid #watching a loving relationship on my screen is making me wish i had someone i could laugh with #i havent been kissed in years because he doesnt know how to and it's awkward as hell everytime i try to teach him #i should just kms i cant live like this any more #cant have her enjoy one thing once in a while you know gotta ruin it every which way

[girlspecimen]

definitely gonna be adding to the “cleaning up at work” playlist

#thoughts #with black butler coming out too.. many ways to romanticize preparing tea and coffee for people every day #i imagine i get the sparkles around me as i delicately pour milk into someone’s latte JUST like sebastian #Spotify #i do wish this was makoto’s shuffle tho cuz it’s so cute AND we could be barista together

[bmpmp3]

im still holding on to that pipe dream that all current love live groups will someday cover sunny day song all together. and holding out hope that they'll also release solo versions of it for every single girl. the fanmixes will be legendary..................................................

#finally.... we would be able to mix and match every girl all across every series together #THE FANTASY SUBUNITS....IMAGINE...... #put honoka sumire and karin together why not. why not #please. i just want this. live with a smile was fine but its a snapshot in time #sunny day song is forever....its the anthem for all school idols!!! pwetty pwease #i would accept solo versions of everyone involved in live with a smile tho so we could re-mix it to have more fun combos #it was a bit of a bummer they only made groups sing with eachother + a leader trio #i wanted all kinds of duos!! all kinds!!!!!! #that is one of the greatest things about the love live fanbase the fact that we have all those solo versions #and its just like a thing now for people to make their own mixes LOL different centers differet duets etc etc #its awesome!! i wish more music franchises like this would release solo versions if they have them #i still dream of fly me to the star solo versions. imagine the fanmixes.....imagine.....

[cuteniaarts]

Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl

17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019

#my art #artists on tumblr #I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already #I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that #exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together #not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know #and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again #I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly #instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her #feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time #well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system #and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her #and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result #but it felt like to commemorate her in some way. #so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind #which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever #never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor #but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself #she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret #there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end #even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again #I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing #it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day #she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much #when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was #well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed #I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home #and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me #spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure #and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes

[sleaterkinnie]

just made lemon rice so good i almost cried when i was finished with it

#i wish i coluld cook for people every day and we could sit and eat together but instead i have this dysfunctional ass family #and nobody to share my food with

[peanutbutterex]

You know you are a hopeless romantic when the translation of moonlight denetsu reminds you of your own relationship

#to be fair we have been together for 8 years and my romance feels very sparked rn #and starting to date when i was 14 does make me a bit like usagi #however the age gap between my bf and I is like 10 1/2 months so it is like nothing compared to the age gap in the anime #but like the lyrics are vague enough to be relatable #i wish i could see him every day but we live in different towns #at least i know i can call after midnight #sailor moon #moonlight denetsu

[pegasusdrawnchariots]

the eternal question: is scheduling w friends as an adult That Hard or am I just bad at it

#4 different people have left me on read today; 1 cancelled our plans 4 hours before we were due to meet #I've been sitting home alone for 2 days going insane. looking forward to One (1) coffee date & that fell through #idk why I'm taking it so hard this time I'm usually fine!! but I find myself wishing I didn't have the day off I wish I did have work :( #like it's tiring yeah but it beats sitting here not knowing what to do w myself #& I'm working all weekend & only leaving the house to see the doctor. oh joy #I've been productive ironing writing fixing the car. that's not the problem #I had 4 social plans this month. that's it #that's like seeing each friend once a month!! I can't keep this up!! #is this the norm for adulthood? :( #& on one level I don't want to bother people or be clingy #but on another level I'm baffled that they don't get lonely too #the news has not shut up abt the Loneliness Epidemic since 2021 #but if it's true why do so many people take so long to reply when I reach out? if they reply at all #I'm not going anywhere w this. idk #just one of those days #everything so fuck everybody suck :( #boomers got it right w the whole showing up unannounced at people's houses for a social call with a pound cake #now I have to go through 5 layers of bureaucratic bullshit to see a friend #assuming they don't cancel the day of ofc (((((: #I just wanna be like hello knock knock I am here. tell me abt yr life today & listen to mine & eat this cake #& the worst is when people are like 'I'm cancelling bc I'm tired xx' #OK A) u knew we had these plans for two weeks #but B) I'm tired too! I still love u ur still my friend! let us be tired together! #'I won't be social today I'm tired' my love we could watch movies in silence we could knit we could ball yr socks. idc #'I have to do the big shop today sorry' so do I!!! let us do the groceries together!!! #every time I've pushed someone to come out when they felt depressed or to let me accompany them when they were doing chores #they were like u know what I'm so glad u did this. thank u. this is way better than how I had planned this night to go #& I'm like any time!! I love u!! #& then it just happens all over again next time oh sorry I'm cancelling I'm busy I'm tired #like did u forget what a nice time we had last time? what changed? :(

[daggerpinknife]

i need to be dead fucking serious about staying alive. My literal romeo i dreamed of my whole life has died.

#This is not downton fucking abbey jakub #When uhh idr his name blonde marys love grantham yeah HE SHOULDNT HAVE DIED EITHER!!!!!!!! IN A CAR????? MY PRINCESS???? jay my forever gir #im lost without you ive been lost without you #like a fucking heartbroken loser #And now youre gone #We didnt even get to make up #this will never be easy #you are my east you are my north you are my every direction #without you where am i #without yoy where have i been #where have i missed #where should we have been together #and im sorry im selfish i did request it in this life not another which im sure afflicts to this day the longing #From my dreams where i know in the pines were going so fast down the mountains like some birds in the morning and were magic and were fire #And were here and were there and we should have been here too #and i wish i could feel your warm clammy hand once again #thank you for holding mine #my everything my beyond my dawn my light my fawn how could you leave my heart this way while im still on the way to #Reunite us again #Jakub oh jakub oh jakub #My darking forever and more

[alterouslyinlove]

boy is gone. he has left my house. i miss him already. but at least i have boysmell to keep me company

#🌀 #my demolition lover <3 #i didn’t post while he was here for obvious reasons but argh i wish we could just like live together already gosh #sit and do nothing together every day please #ahhh ok #we watched lps popular (only season 1) and he liked it!!!!! yayayay #back to boysmell my bed smells like xem now and its awesome #can we keep it like this forever maybe

[solarisposting]

screaming myself hoarse til I pass out we were together during a very tumultuous time in our lives I will always have your back and be curious about you about your career your whereabouts!!!

#not about j we're good - about the friend who i haven't shut up about in the 14 years i've been on the hellsite #the fun part is that i know his forever career and his forever whereabouts and it will break my heart into shards for the rest of my life! #and goddamnit we weren't romantically together but instead together as part of a weirdly codependent friend group of four and we were #near identically weird and fucked up emotionally and in our humor and how we spoke and how we meshed and i will NEVER fucking get over it!! #i'm still agog that i sent you a last chance hail mary sort of letter like the lyrics in this song about how i think about you often and #have always believed in you and been rooting for you like all the rest of us who knew you before things got really bad because you were and #are such a fucking incredible person and musician and friend and so smart and creative and LOVABLE! i said that in the letter without #realizing alanis said that in one of THE best lost love songs of all goddamn time! #i wish i could tell you one more time - right now today immediately or better yet five years ago - how i have always loved and admired you #and everything about you. even now. all the way out here in iowa i am still loving you with everything i have in me every single day #knowing i will never speak to or see you again [i think about you all the time but i don't need the same] and i finally started to admit #that to myself and my friends and my therapist in 2021 and i'm more at peace with it than i ever was or thought i could be in 2019 and 2020 #but i know it's gonna take my whole lifetime to get a grip on it and accept it. and it'll stop hurting one of these days. i know it will #i don't think i've ever loved a friend as much as I loved you. i think you were the best friend i've ever had #and that's one of the nastiest parts of it - we were good friends and you did seem to like me plenty #but i think i was the w-h-auden_morelovingone.txt by a mile. i was a weird obsessed stage 10 clinger. #and that's surely a large part of the dwelling and the fixation. if things had been more equal then maybe it'd be very different now. #guess i'll die because i sure ain't finding out!! #HELLO LOVES HAVE SOME RICH NUTRITIOUS ANNIE LORE ON THIS FINE FREEZING COLD SUNDAY AFTERNOON! #ann with an ie #<- this was a nightmare to type out and feel but i wanna keep it around for whenever i get the balls to talk about it in therapy again

[mysticarcanum]

straight up getting emotional about a thing that happened in a campaign that ended over a year ago

like. i wrote an ambiguous and biased backstory of a character who is part of an apocalyptic world-ending cult, who deep down wanted to study wizardry but had to frame it as going undercover as an apprentice and stealing secrets from this doddering old archmage to aid her people’s cause . and then she goes and learns wizardry and eventually realizes she wants more for herself and breaks from her cult

and i mean. there’s a lot of ways my dm could have run with that. i was fully expecting that archmage to be furious at my character for lying to and stealing from him. and so when they ran into each other again, i was braced for a fight, or at least an altercation

but instead the archmage went. i knew all along. of course i knew. i’m a divination wizard, silly. i saw a young woman in a bad place and i wanted to help her. i thought that by showing her kindness and creating an environment for her that wasn’t all about power struggles and nihilistic fanaticism that she might realize that there was more out there in the world for her. that she deserved more. you didn’t steal secrets from me, because i gave them to you. i was your teacher. i loved you and love you still

and god i didn’t know where that character was going to end up before then. i thought maybe she could go on a typical wizard hubris spiral, or a revenge quest against her old cult, but in that moment i was like. oh. she is loved. she has new friends, new family. she has a reason to change, a reason to care. her story is just about love, and about making people’s lives better

her alignment shifted from neutral to neutral good soon after. she never stopped being curious, sometimes to the point of foolishness, but she never squandered her teacher’s gift. she left the world better than she found it

#i just WEEP when i think about it sometimes #and then her teacher did just become the party's best wizard bud #we got his teleportation circle and then just showed up to his tower all the time #to hang out #we eventually got a dedicated guest room #my wizard shared all the spells she learned with him. including some dunamancy ones that she pieced together herself #he even fought a tarrasque with us #eventually she even passed him in level #and when he found out she could cast wish...he was SO PROUD #genuinely in the final arc getting an 'im proud of you' from this man was the best thing that had ever happened to me #and honestly i think his influence is why at the end of the campaign my wizard chose to die of old age #she had access to pretty much every necromantic secret in the world #given she did a LOT of necromancy research over the course of the campaign. plus her old cult did a lot of it so she was well versed #she could have found immortality in a hundred different ways #but instead she lived a good life. loved her friends #and passed on peacefully with her warforged friend by her side #so the point of all this is love IS the answer #her character arc felt so natural to me. i lived it for YEARS and one day i looked back and realized she had changed utterly #even though i hadn't once made the conscious choice for her to change #it was just love. from everyone around her #it was impossible for her to NOT change in the face of it all #AUGHGHGHGGGHH #oc: arabella

[violetnaps]

i hate when old friends have memorable birthdays

#i miss them and neither of us are the same people we used to be and we will never ever get along how we used to #and sometimes i think if i had done things differently we wouldnt have gotten to this point. we couldve been there with each other growing #together instead of apart #and every year their birthday rolls around and i miss them and i miss me and i hate the me that lost them #but most importantly i love them and i wish i could still tell them that without making things awkward for both of us #happy birthday. hope you have an amazing day. you deserve it and so much more. i miss you. i love you. im so glad i knew you. #even if i hardly know you anymore. #txt

[born-to-lose]

Missing people and regretting shit o'clock

#why did i even let it come this far. 7 fucking months and i didn't realize what was going wrong so i could have saved it #i want him back fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck #was thinking of this notebook i filled for him with memories and poetry and quotes and general mushy things and goddamn #why am i crying i just looked at my desk and i don't have the heart to put everything in a box so i don't see it every day when i wake up #i know i can't change it and it's probably over for good now after i fucked some things up extra hard but fuck do i miss him #i wish i could have done something in time before even the thought of breaking up came up #just when i thought for once things are working out for me and it was really fucking good and happy until a week before it ended #guess i just can't be happy. i never could #i was really really willing to talk things out and fix whatever needs to be fixed while staying together #not go separate ways and maybe not so maybe definitely not possibly maybe see if we can try again in the future #which we (spoiler) apparently won't and i kinda came to terms with that but i still wish there was a possibility #or at least i would have liked to know from the beginning and not spend weeks hoping for a reunion and working towards that specifically #while i seem to be the only one with that goal #idk i just wish it had been more thought through and talked about properly so there wouldn't be the misunderstandings we deal with now #and like boundaries for the first two months or so after that but it takes two i guess #disclaimer i'm not bitter or mad at anyone just sad and nostalgic. if the person in question reads this i love you ok that won't change #deleting later but now i need to go back to sleep before i kill myself on a whim #mel talks #depressed bitch posting #i know i know i know i did some shit too that wasn't great and i'm not saying i'm innocent here i'm just so depressed about the situation #it's been seven goddamn weeks it never took me this long to get over anything before

[angelnumber27]

I want to murder the love I feel for the man that cheated on me twice and beat the fuck out of me every day while claiming he loved me more than anything

#He is now dating the girl he cheated on me with at LEAST twice FOUR years ago :-) #so awesome and great for me to know they probably stayed in contact that whole time! love that! #found out bc he got a text and it said ‘I could kiss you all day’. #while we were together and everything was fine. I don’t understand why he did that. #this shit literally makes me want to off myself lol #and it fucking sucks because we dated for five years and it was so good for so long #and I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone #but there’s nothing I can do #he also was the one who got me addicted to fentanyl. #and as soon as he went to rehab and got sober he left me. I wasn’t clean yet and could have died and he just left. #found out soon after he’d been seeing her. #when he cheated he sent me multiple pictures of her naked and her in our bed. #and my dumbass got back together with him. #every time #I was fucked up before this relationship but now I am literally irreparable #I can’t heal from this shit #he’d tell me to kill myself #and say he wished I was dead #knowing how difficult shit was for me and how suicidal I was #he’d strangle me and spit on me and trip me and punch me in the face #he’d constantly tell me I ruined every aspect of his life and that I was the worst thing that ever happened to him. #then he’d tell me that I’m abusive because of my mental illnesses. #I’m so tired :( #I’m so fucking damaged and broken from this shit I cannot even put it into words. #abuse tw #physical abuse tw #physical abuse cw