#i’m deleting this later lol i just had to

[vaisoric]

౨ৎ telling bf!jj about your fears | sfw

cw lowkey cheesy lol and i actually hate this so i might delete this later but i wanted to post something :’)

ৎ୭

you and jj settled down on your bed a few moments ago, calming down from an exhausting day at the beach, when he reaches up to brush a strand of hair behind your ear.

“what’s going on in your head?” he asks, noticing that little frown you always had when you’d think too much. and right now you were definitely overthinking stuff.

“nothing,” you reply, not wanting to dive further into thoughts that have been terrorizing your mind for weeks now.

you love jj. you love him more than anything else on this planet. but recently, you found yourself thinking about your relationship in ways you wish you didn’t. you’d think about him—about how loving he is as a friend and especially as a boyfriend. and you’d think about yourself and what could’ve been so special about you that he chose you.

jj furrows his eyebrows, tracing his finger down your jawline slowly. “come on, y/n. you can tell me.” he offers, giving you a reassuring smile.

when you don’t answer and just keep staring and thinking about everything, he calls your name out softly, “y/n? please, tell me.”

“s’nothing.” you deny again, but jj shakes his head and props himself up on his elbow, cupping your cheeks with his hands. “y/n y/l/n. what is going on in that pretty little head of yours, hm?”

his action makes you huff a little giggle, and you give in, “i just— sometimes i find it hard to believe that you’re my boyfriend. i mean, you’re special. like literally sent from heaven and so adorable and loving, so— so beautiful and sweet and way out of my league, and i’m just so… me.”

jj stares at you, trying to comprehend everything that babbles out of your mouth. he blinks a few times before bursting out in laughter. “i’m out of your league?” he asks. he couldn’t believe you’d even think that.

“yeah.”

“are you fucking with me right now? can you look at yourself, please? did you see what i pulled?” he gestures up and down your body before pointing straight at your face, “did you?!”

but before you can answer, he shifts on top of you and starts to pepper your face with kisses, making loud ‘mwuah’ sounds.

“don’t every fucking talk yourself down like that again,” he mumbles in between kisses before finally pulling away to look at your now flushed face. “you’re beautiful, okay? and i wouldn’t be a thing that you named me if i wouldn’t have you. you make me everything that i am. you make me happy, y/n. and i love you; do you understand that?” he whispers and presses his forehead against yours, awaiting your answer.

you nod, “yes, i understand.”

“then say it back.”

“i love you, too.”

ৎ୭

#jj maybank #jj mayback x reader #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank prompt #obx fanfiction #obx imagine #jj obx

[ink-the-artist]

I’ve been thinking back to artist stuff in high school and man people are really weird about furry stuff in a way that seems like they’re super afraid to be associated with it at all. I don’t/didn’t consider myself a furry but I recognize my art is obviously furry-adjacent at times and I don’t mind that.

I’d almost always bring my sketch book to school with me so I can draw during breaks and stuff and the amount of times people (sometimes complete strangers!) would randomly insult me for drawing “furry shit” (once this happened bc I was drawing bojack horseman characters LMAO) like ppl are usually polite when they see me (or others from what I’ve seen) drawing in public, will either ignore it or say something nice or funny if they do comment on it, unless it’s something they think is furry art.

It’s baffling to me like this is so obviously not how these people would normally behave but it feels like they’re so afraid of being seen as cringe they feel they have to point out any cringe they see so that no one thinks they’re cringe. Grown adults can do this stuff too but it was obv much more common for me in high school.

And it was so shitty how it made me actually somewhat ashamed of drawing anything that could be perceived as furry, even though I’ve loved drawing animals my whole life since I was a child, and I never had anything against furries and had both irl and online friends who were furries.

I don’t feel any of that shame anymore and just draw whatever I want (it helps that I’m no longer getting strangers commenting on my art like this irl, and that I’m not as insecure a person as I was in high school) it’s just so fucking weird that people feel comfortable acting like this

#to be clear this isn’t abt people just calling me/my art furry or tagging it as such etc #it’s about people who act like assholes #people shouldn’t act like this towards ppl who consider themselves furries either #honestly furries are braver than any us marine for putting up with this shit way more than I had to #I’m lucky I was pretty confident with my art at that time but #doing this to someone who isn’t could really stifle them a lot #how fucking demoralizing would it be as a beginner artist to be berated by a stranger in public #I’m hoping this is a less common thing to happen now bc #when I was in high school it was during the height of anti sjw cringe culture shit #so it was probably worse bc of that #long post #sorry for the ramble lol might delete later idk

[kitsunecrows]

study break! 🍵 (read tags)

#it’s me i’m the one taking a much needed break from studying by doodling on my phone LOL #today marks my first year of being on tumblr :) #and although i had a whole thing planned #my ipad died #lol #and i’m still in public and kinda tired #but i still want to commemorate one of my first posts made on this account and by default my first drawing ever made on procreate #so notes app it is LOLLL #with my finger again #i might delete this and redo it later but. in the moment it feels just right :) #if you read all of this i love you #because by simply being here it fuels the inner kid in me that hesitated for years before ever posting my art #it’s silly yeah but #knowing there are communities out there that enjoy the same things i do with such curious creative passion #it reminds me that i don’t have to let go of the things that make me happy just for the sake of other ppl #so thank you for stopping by - for being here to enjoy the moment #yeehaw #kitsunecrows art #tododeku #tddk #todoizu #doodles #izutodo #midoroki #todoroki shouto #midorya izuku #notes app #bnha #mha #good luck!

[warmsol]

apologies for not being around much, i truly havent had much down time or energy lately and sims stuff has been on the back burner :’( hoping i can come back in full force after the holidays. i miss you all and i want to shove all your wonderful posts into my chest and hug them tight mwah

#to say the last month and a half has been the worst of my life is an under statement ;-; #after i got covid i started having a ton of random health issues #about two days ago i went to the er because i had chest pain and long story short had a blood clot scare and now i’m just chilling #until we figure out wtf is going on. lol #and on top of that my personal life is just not great and my mental health has declined and yada yada! #but it’s the most wonderful time of the year huh! #your pal is truly struggling but we must go on. though most days i want to rot in bed ;-; #ok damn sorry for the depression dump. will be back when my energy comes back from war. love u #nonsims #delete later #ps pls don’t forget take care of yourself :’)

[selfindulgentfandomstuff]

Me when someone is actively transphobic and misogynistic in the same breath (written sentence) and when called on it (very politely and gently for that matter) gets mad about it saying they “already know and just want someone to push them to change”. What.

#vent #vent tw #tw vent #yes I’m vagueing someone in a discord server I’m in I’m not really all that sorry abt it #like. you’re actively admitting you’re a bigot and I’m supposed to what? just be okay with that?? #coddle you so you’re bigot feelings don’t get hurt?? #nope sorry not doing that #props to the other members of the server who were actually nice to this person #/gen #I jsut stayed silent bc I had nothing nice to say fr #sorry if you say you don’t trust a marginalized group as a whole bc one person part of it victimized you I jsut don’t trust you #I’m gonna get in trouble for this post I just know it 😭 #delete later probably. we’ll see how I’m feeling lol

[bumblybea]

what if i just shifted my entire online presence to be after a different name 🤔 and soft launched going by a different name 🤔🤔🤔

#i’ve had this url for so many years and i’ve been going by bea for so long #and i still like the name #but i’m starting to feel like maybe for online i should go by a different name. and see how that feels for me #but maaannnn change is scaryyyyy LOL #wdl #<- i know this is will delete later but i also kind of just use that as a ramble tag OOP #looking at aiden using a tag for his rambles like aw fuck wait mb i should do that

[maddymoreau]

Me after finishing the Dead Money DLC:

#I’M ON VERY VERY EASY DIFFICULTY BUT IT DID NOT FEEL THAT WAY!!!!!! #IT WAS GOOD BUT WOW!!!!! PEOPLE WERENT JOKING THAT WAS EXTREMELY HARD!!!!! #I HAD TO USE A GUIDE ALMOST THE ENTIRE HOTEL SECTION!!!!! #I’ll post my live-blog tomorrow I feel like I just got beaten with a tire iron finishing that LOL #Tw Blood #Blood #Delete Later

[frecklystars]

god I really used to love my starlight so much. our anniversary would be — or is in two weeks. and i always feel hopeless and depressed when he enters my mind. I don’t go a day without thinking about my TF F/Os because I had that habit of thinking about them for 3 years straight. now it’s going to be 4 years, 1 whole year of having cptsd attacks and being triggered just looking at this fictional franchise. i used to love them so much. now I wish I never ever knew of their existence, then I never would have met my abuser and none of this would have ever happened to me

I love Barbie and Ken so damn much, but I am never going to love anyone the way I loved my robot F/Os and now they’re gone and my brain marks them as “unsafe” and marks *all* F/Os as “could be potentially unsafe. Barbie and Ken may love you now, but later they might become dangerous. You’ve learned that people you trust and love are going to hurt you and everyone you care about has bad intentions towards you. If it could happen with starscream, whom you loved more than anyone, then it’s gonna happen with Ken/Driver/Six/etc. you loved this F/O unconditionally and someone convinced you that you’re only lovable to them through violence and disrespect of boundaries to the point of feeling stalked. if this could make Starscream feel like a threat to you, when you felt 100% safe and secure with him at all times… well, just about anyone is a threat now. Nobody is ever fully safe for you” so wow it’s almost like I’m traumatized or something

and yet my brain won’t just put TF down and let me forget them entirely, they keep coming into my head and I keep mourning and grieving and crying and stress vomiting and UGH 😭😭😭 I wish I knew a way to heal but I don’t! know! how! And I can’t afford cptsd therapy any more than just once every couple of months so my healing progress with TF feels nonexistent.

and I’m scared I’ll never feel safe with ANY f/os ever again. not just TF. Like … I love Ken so much but I never feel 100% safe with him. or I might have days where I feel safe, but I don’t believe he loves me, I feel like I’m only lovable if I’m someone’s punching bag. god. I miss my old self, I can’t believe it’s been a year. This should have been 4 years of loving STSC but it’s just been a year of mourning everything I’ve ever lost

#stumbled on my old art where he’d say ‘I would never hurt you I love you so much’ #I miss believing that. my god. i miss myself. Jesus where did she go #I miss feeling safe with TF I miss my honeybee I miss my starlight I miss my sunshine I miss my knight #i miss my home. i miss feeling good looking at flower meadows. i miss watching princess movies for my AUs #I miss my red energon necklace … I miss… missing steve #I don’t even miss steve anymore I don’t feel anything at all #sucks I still can’t find the old art I’ve been digging to find lol. but god I drew so much starkeri didn’t I #I just wish I could look at or even think of a character. and not. shake. I’m so jittery and for what? #they used to feel safe and now I look at my old art where they’re holding me #and my brain is like ‘no they’d kill and abuse you etc etc’ #I don’t think I’ll ever feel the same again. i have never had F/Os be so tainted before in my life #I’m so relieved I have ken but I don’t know how long I’ll have him y’know. the hyperfixation I mean. #once I watch all the Ryan movies… that’s kind of it #then what. just go back to crying over STSC 15 times a day #ughhhhhhh #I don’t even know if I love STSC anymore I just fear him. like the love is gone. there’s no love left #it’s just fear and stress and stress vomiting #vent #delete later

[peachsayshi]

tried to have an honest convo with a friend tonight and she got so defensive about my own feelings 🥲

#I told her that I don’t know if I believe in love anymore in a half joking way #and she took it so personally #and I tried to explain that a part of me really doesn’t feel it #and I’m kind of accepting that in my life #and if in the future I do see myself married it might just be someone who I consider an overall good partner #and she was like: no you can’t because you have to be in love #and I was like ??? #to which she said I’m just overreacting #which was kind of hurtful considering she knows the history I’ve had with shitty dudes #like I get that it was coming from a place of love but I didn’t think it would get so intense ?? #either way I had a couple of drinks tonight so maybe I’m just catching feelings lol #peach: saying hi <3 #delete later

[sailforvalinor]

.

#hffjfhfhhhhghgh #sometimes you think you’re over a guy but then you have a normal conversation with him like a normal person and proceed to think about it #for the next ten hours #my silly little INFP brain is being insufferable about this #like seriously I don’t want to date a guy who curses like a sailor I don’t #but we just get along so well together? he was homeschooled like me? he’s an lotr fanatic (as in he’s read the books)? he has OPINIONS #about little women? he’s an agatha christie fan?? he had reasonable things to say in biblical studies a couple years ago (which is more #than I can say for 95 percent of the people in that class)? #but I mean it doesn’t matter we’ve known each other for nearly three years and I can’t tell that he’s ever had that kind of interest in me #(granted I am a TERRIBLE judge) #fun fact though he is the guy who read a story I wrote freshman year and read a romance scene and exclaimed ‘that’s it! that’s what love is #supposed to be!’ #I mean how was I SUPPOSED to react #if nothing else he’s definitely one of Anne’s kindred spirits and I think I can live with that #anyway sorry feel free to ignore I just needed to ramble #I drove for like three hours today and it was just swirling around in my head the whole time #will probably delete later because there are a couple people who follow me who know me irl and would probably know exactly what I’m talking #about. they’re not super active though so #(and yes this is Alcott boy. although hilariously before I knew his name I called him Agatha Christie boy) #on a lighter note I may have convinced him to watch otgw because it has Elijah wood in it lol

[pepprs]

currently.

#purrs #what if i was experiencing ordeals so mortifying and horrors so horrible i could not talk about them to anyone in full honesty and truth and #transparency not even the dearest people in my life who love me and actively want to support me and listen to me or my tumblr mutuals who #are literally my bestest friends who live in my phone and in some cases outside of it so instead i locked myself in my rapunzel tower and pr #proceeded to cut off my hair and then cut off my dress and then cut off my brain so it could stop perceiving stimuli and reacting to it #despite wanting to get better and thinking it’s getting better and i couldn’t even tell my therapist because he doesn’t get me but it takes #too long to find a new one and i don’t have time and also my tower was getting renovated and also i was a little bug who was getting. #crushed by giant rain drops falling on my shell and bending my antennae so im dizzy and also it’s as almost midnight and i had to be up at a #work awake in 6 hours and ready to fscilitwtbeblike 3 things but i was screaming and howling and pounding on the floor over the dumbest most #normal sjit in the entire world that i couldn’t tell anybody i was struggling over because it would make everybody in the world blow up and #die and explode. what if i had to communicate the horrors through memes and vague posts every single day and that was all that was truly at #my disposal and everyone thougut i was being weird and standoffish and mean but really i was pulsing hurt like a strobe light every second o #of every day. becaus ei think if all of that was true i would simply go to sleep without doing the dishes and redacted redacted redacted red #redacted. and i wish i could. but i can’t. I’m just a little beetle and the rain drops are so huge. lol #delete later #puslng INCOMMUNICABLE hurt *. like morse code. like fire flies. Because literally… 💡💡💡💡💡 #<- girl who has had separation anxiety since the day she was born. but also girl who never texts anyone back. girl who is a hypocrite 🥰

[whump-it-like-its-hot]

anyway shoutout to the three little rats that just beat each other up in front of our doors, nearly broke the glass in the process, and then had the audacity to ask me for free popcorn and drinks like. What

#not whump #Pyro rambles #okay I love my job at the cinema but sometimes there’s this certain kind of person that makes you question everything #customer service my beloved and beloathed #they also tried walking into the staff section and claimed they were looking for the toilets #which. honestly if they had gone up there‚ they would’ve faced my boss head on #which wouldve been kinda funny y‘know #be a disrespectful rat‚ immediately face the end boss #okay lets put this here my boss is a very nice person and hes really not scary at all but #Bro. what’s the audacity in some people #i tell them popcorn is 2.10 or 2.80 and cola is 1.80 and they ask me for popcorn and cola for 1.40 together like??? #for the record I did not smile at them #or put on my customer service voice #they didn‘t deserve that #and I’m very glad my boss and coworkers are chill like that #anyway yeah I just had to share this somewhere lol #probably #delete later

[cha1cedony]

Hopefully this is a just a ‘last few days’ thing and not a ‘next few weeks’ thing, but I’m feeling pretty Not Great, and I’m EXTREMELY busy, so idk how soon I will update my fic again. Also, I want to make sure the next chapter is perfect because it’s sort of the climax of the story. It might be a while. Sorry.

Love y’all. Thank you for the support. Sorry I don’t always reply; I get shy or sometimes I’m too busy, but once I have time later, I feel like it’s too late to reply, and I don’t want to be annoying. Augh. Anyway. I really appreciate you guys and your readership :) or even if you haven’t read Silver Linings, and you just followed from my awful Henry Bitmoji PowerPoint slides 🫶 haha

#for context #I have 5 weeks left of a 13 week internship #and I am really starting to struggle balancing a very busy 25 hour/week news internship and 6 college classes lol #I’ve had a migraine the past few days so maybe that’s why I feel cruddy #idk #I’m also constantly on a computer at work and school since I’m an online student sooo #maybe I just need to touch grass #haven’t felt this consistently crappy since high school bleghh #anyway I didn’t mean for this to turn vent-y. I’m sorry #delete later #maybe #chalcy stuff

[mauxanhduong]

i keep having. problems come up and i hate it. LOL !

#cw vent #personal #delete later #cw medical talk #i hate the american medical system i hate having to deal with my body i hate things always coming up at the worst times i hate it i hate it #i’m so sick and tired of it why can’t i just deal with the normal people problems why do i have to deal with all this shit #i’m just. frustrated i guess. because i don’t think about it or do anything about it a lot of the time which. is a part of the problem too #i guess. but i just argued with my parents over it and my dad was like ‘this is frustrating’ and like. bitch YOU’RE frustrated ?? imagine #how it feels for me. let me be frustrated too. but idk. lots of problems and lots of conflicting things and not much time + no clear answers #but like. idk. if u had to get a major surgery done would u do it senior year of high school or would u wait like possibly indefinitely lol.

[harrylights]

me: i’m totally fine being on my own i’m learning how to live independently and heal from trauma <3

one (1) person saying smth nice to me in passing:

me: instantly sobs

#i’m toooootally fine lol #i mean. I Am. objectively #but damn dude #i do cry easily at most things but shit didn’t affect me like this before haha #anyways. i appreciate y’all <3 ik i’ll have better days ahead and just had some nice ones today is just Like That #but fr y’all are the sweetest and have helped me thru sm shit just by being kind and being urselves so. ty #rowyn rambles #i will prob delete this later fjfjdkdk

[a-star-that-fell]

having disability feelings tonight, apparently

#apparently my lazy eye could potentially be a part of my Constellation Of Symptoms That I’ve Experienced Since High School #god knows the neuro ophthalmologist was just like ‘yeah it’s probs continental lol’ #*congenital. good typing jules #after 3 hours of literally the most anxiety inducing eye tests i’ve experienced in my life #and seeing as i’ve had glasses since age 6 that’s saying a lot #apparently it can be a hypermobility/eds thing #which is a whole other can of worms because am i actually hypermobile? nobody fucking knows #was diagnosed with quote unquote ‘postural hypotension and hypermobility’ in college #and afaik i have a 7 on the scale #but it’s also like. What If I’m Faking For Attention #being in pain/discomfort sucks but doubting yourself for it is worse i think #medical tw #delete later #because this is just self indulgent rambling about things that i will probably never have an answer for #jules speaks