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#i'm genuinely devastated

benedictsvestcollection · 6 months

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I'm devastated. Chandler Bing was my favorite character from Friends. I related to him, I felt a kinship to him. I want to cry all over again. Thank you Matthew Perry for making me feel less alone by portraying Chandler.

#Matthew Perry #Friends #Chandler Bing #RIP #I'm genuinely devastated

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captainsaku · 2 months

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RIP Akira Toriyama

#I'm genuinely devastated

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cautiousgoose · 2 years

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Cool cool cool. Made it all the way to the water temple with the Biggoron sword, and then found out that my game hasn't been saving since Jabu-Jabu's stomach.

So I'm gonna go lay down and cry.

#cautious commentary #ocarina of time #I really feel like I'm just not allowed to beat this game #I've had it on various platforms since I was like 8 #this was the first time I'd made it past the forest temple #I'm genuinely devastated

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pronounrespector · 20 days

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my window is open rn I am trying SO hard to resist the urge of looking directly at the sun

#beep booping #I have no special glasses so I can't watch the eclipse 😭😭#I'm genuinely devastated

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anqelbean · 1 month

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Did ao3 have to crash on me the moment I needed a comfort fic

#i'm genuinely devastated #hhhhh #anqels ramblings #eva.txt

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taee · 1 year

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Jungkook’s reaction to seeing all the purple hearts in the comments section halfway through singing ‘For Youth’ ;;

#I'M DEVASTATED #HE SAID HE WAS GENUINELY TOUCHED #video #weverse live #jungkook #bts

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aphel1on · 5 months

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neuvillette's lore is actually insane. we all took one look at him and went "haha dragon🫵" but i significantly underestimated how big of a role he would play. he's the incarnation of the original hydro sovereign. he took back his rule right under the heavenly principles' nose. he's the one handing out hydro visions now (not even because he has to, he doesn't, he just grew so fond of humanity that he chooses to). he gave away the hydro gnosis bc he straight up doesn't need it. he's planning to DETHRONE ALL OF THE ARCHONS (in a few hundred years, when the traveler's not around to see it, so it won't be awkward for them). he's kind and soft-spoken. he's full of vengeful rage. he's a father to hundreds. he found his purpose after feeling lost for 500 years. skirk pulled him aside for a super-secret convo and when he saw us again he immediately spilled the tea. as far as i can tell, he spawned into existence fully formed. no other character can fucking compare

#neuvillette #genshin impact #4.2 #genshin spoilers #aphelion.txt #SORRY BUT I FINALLY FINISHED THE AQs TODAY AND IM IN MY FUCKING FEELS #by all rights he should've hated focalors- the thief of the hydro sovereignty- the most.#he cried when she sacrificed herself in front of him.#he is so gentle. i think he does feel genuine indignance and anger over what happened to the dragons #but he mostly talks about the eventual judgment as if it's something he must do out of obligation and duty #i loved him in 4.0 but he honestly shot up the ranks now to being one of my favorite genshin characters of all time #i'm still in awe at how he and focalors completely defied the heavenly principles and WON.#barring some big plot twist in future updates they fucking WON.#any victory against the heavenly principles that we've seen in the story so far has been pyrrhic at best #this is the sort of thing i'd think would usually cause them to nuke fontaine with a heavenly needle #(lol that would be a devastating one-off fanfic for someone to write)#but anyway focalors most bamf god of teyvat fr #and neuvi her accomplice my special guy

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thefirstknife · 7 months

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The thing about the final lore tab is that, besides the fact that I'm devastated in ways I can't put into words, the way Saint was affected by this whole thing is unique.

This is obviously primarily Osiris' trauma that we can't really properly comprehend, but Osiris wasn't fully conscious for most of it. It fell to Saint to wait, and hope, that Osiris would be brought back and that he would wake up. There was no certainty for him there. And even before that, he watched "Osiris" being strange and distant and acting weird but obviously nobody could even begin to speculate that the person he interacted with wasn't Osiris at all, so the trauma went from there, from learning that he lost Sagira, then to the shock of Osiris being kidnapped and then the quest to bring him back and then him being brought back in a coma and then the 9 long months of waiting until he woke up.

The state of constant anxiety he experienced for almost 2 years total is nervewracking and gutwrenching. I don't think we can fully understand the impact of that on someone. And the best, or worst, thing is that Saint is infinitely patient. He is infinitely emotional and merciful and opts to be the better person and to wait and wait and wait. And hope that it can be fixed.

Except it can't. It can't be fixed. And not only can it not be fixed, but there will never be justice for it. It's impossible. There isn't a way to truly punish Savathun for what she's done. There is no relief or catharsis for Saint. While Osiris can mostly move on, Osiris did not really have to go through what Saint had to go through. Their traumas are different and Saint's is the type that no one can really understand and there is nothing he can do about it.

A younger Saint would've killed Immaru and then Savathun, 100%. But now he can't, because he isn't that person anymore. And yet, the grief and trauma remain and he has no outlet for them and nothing that can be done to enact any sort of justice. So he settles for pure rage, letting himself essentially vent that anger out, but still leave everyone alive. And there's really no true release here. He got a brief satisfaction of killing Savathun over and over, but at the end of the day, she will walk away and nothing will change and there will be no fix.

Which is why he comes back and just cries. As he said, this wasn't for Osiris, it was for him. It was his outlet for anger and nothing else. After that, there's nothing else left to do but cry. No one can really help him carry the burden of what he's gone through and besides: he's a Titan. He's the one carrying other people's burdens. Which just added to the trauma because for so long he's only cared for others, mostly for Osiris, and never really let himself fully grieve or talk about it. Saint never really processed the horrifying ordeal of constant concern for his loved one, then the realisation that his loved one isn't even with him, then the desperate search and then waiting for months and months for the hope that his loved one might wake up. Then Osiris is awake and we're forced to play allies with the person who traumatised both of them in an incomprehensibly terrifying way. Saint had no other way of attempting to make his peace with the situation.

Year of processing grief. I'm in shambles.

#destiny 2 #destiny 2 spoilers #season of the witch #season of the witch spoilers #saint-14 #osiris #o14 #i haven't stopped thinking about this and i never will #i genuinely cried like a little baby reading this #the whole time of this ordeal it's been told through saint's patience and devastation about the situation #so we know just how much he stretched his limits here #again. a younger saint would've gone apeshit months ago #but now he has a limit and he's more patient than ever and literally no one can help him #i'm in tears over this man he doesn't deserve any of this bullshit #i could go on for approximately 17 more hours about this #if i see savathun again she will die by my hand

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ragewrites · 6 months

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transcript under cut:

[SUCH IS MY DESIRE] Lianna Schreiber

[and God said]

I SHALL TAKE FROM YOU WHAT YOU LOVE UNTIL YOU ARE AS A ROPE WHICH HAS BEEN FRAYED.

[and God said]

I SHALL TAKE FROM YOU UNTIL MY HANDS ALONE ARE LEFT ABOUT YOUR SHOULDERS.

[and God said]

I SHALL FILL YOU WITH GRIEF: I SHALL GRIEVE YOU. AFTER GRIEF YOUR EMPTY VESSEL SHALL BE POROUS,

SHALL BE AS A CLOTH WHICH HOLDS LIGHT.

[and God said]

I SHALL FILL YOU WITH LIGHT. I SHALL BRING BEFORE YOU WHAT YOU WILL WANT TO LOVE:

I SHALL BRING YOU THE TERROR OF LOVING.

[and God said]

I SHALL MAKE YOU SHAKE.

[and God said]

I SHALL FILL YOU WITH LOVE:

IT WILL BE A DUSKING.

[and God said]

THE SPARROWS WILL GROW MUTE AND STAND STILL. YOU WILL LOVE WITH ME AT YOUR CENTRE, WITH ME IN EVERY PART OF YOU,

LIKE A MEMBRANE. YOU WILL LOVE SHAKING.

[and God said]

I SHALL TAKE IT FROM YOU: THE LOVE AND THE SHAKING. I SHALL LEAVE MY PERFUME ABOUT YOUR SHOULDERS,

ABOUT THE SLOPES OF YOUR FACE.

[and God said]

YOU SHALL BE MY HILL, ETERNAL.

[and God said]

YOU SHALL BE MY HILL AND THE CROSS WHICH MARKS IT.

[and God said]

YOU SHALL BE LOVED AND BEAR MY LOVE.

[and God said]

IN THE BUSHES THE SPARROWS SHALL START SONG AGAIN:

AND YOU WILL RESENT ME.

[and God said]

YOU WILL RESENT ME. YOU WILL GROW AS A THORN, AS A WILD THING,

AND YOU WILL LOATHE ME.

[and God said]

IT WILL NOT MATTER. I WILL LOVE YOU AS I CHOOSE.

#spilled ink #inkstain #poets on tumblr #poetry #poem #2023 #i'm absolutely devastated today to learn of atsushi's death. genuinely i feet like someone's hit me over the head with a shovel #i. have no words.

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awkwardrocker · 3 months

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All I want after watching the PJO show is the most heart-wrenching 200k+ word fic of Sally and Poseidon

#i genuinely need this to happen #i want to be emotionally devastated #just wreck me #i'm begging #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #pjo #sally jackson #poseidon

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boyfridged · 1 year

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You may have already mentioned this in some of your other metas, and I just missed it, so please ignore this if it's redundant.

Do you think Bruce is projecting onto Jason by pushing him as a Robin? Obviously, Jason wanted to be Robin and was excited about it, and Bruce let Jason do other things, but (if I'm not mistaken) before Tim came into play, solidifying the whole Batman needs a Robin/support to keep him upright, Bruce and Dick becoming Batman and Robin, in the beginning, was also sort of a coping mechanism.

I think there are a few examples of Bruce enabling this kind of mindset. Like in Gotham Knights #43–44 (sorry), every time Barbara brings up Jason's inner turmoil, Bruce refocuses on his ability as a Robin; similarly, when Jason finds out about Two-Face and his dad, he is hurt, and Bruce acknowledges that but then does the same thing, zeroing in on reassuring Jason that he made a mistake but is still a good Robin.

Like, Jason got it from Bruce, but he unintentionally encouraged that kind of thinking.

oh, i definitely think that bruce is projecting on jason and that it profoundly affected jay. and, while every single one of your observations is apt, i would add that what truly made it so tragic is that he projected his own worst traits on jason while being blind to the fact that jay already shared his best qualities.

tldr: bruce projects himself on jason in terms of grief (saying that jason needs vigilantism to work his grief through) and sees his own worst traits in jason (anger) but doesn't see his own best traits in jay (compassion, love, and sensitivity). ironically, jason does end up developing all of the (projected) worst characteristics of bruce (obsessiveness, and relentlessness in pursuit of the respective perceived idea of justice). this happens even though they were barely present in his early storylines, and only ever manifested when jason was scared or lost. later, they truly came to be because of his trauma relating to vigilantism.

and the long, long version, coming with panels and quotes: under the cut.

first i want to say that the following analysis focuses very specifically on bruce's mistakes, but i don't view the overall of jay's upbringing by bruce solely in these terms. from text it is also clear that bruce deeply loves and cares about jay, and that jay enjoys being robin. now that this is clear, let's get to particularities, and start with jay's origin story.

i truly never stop thinking about the significance of bruce meeting jay in the crime alley, the place of his parents' death. there's a lot to be said about it, but here the focus is, of course, on the fact that he sees a little boy, very much similar to himself, angry and hurt, in the same scenery that brought him so much grief. and jay in some ways does appear to be a mirror of bruce's own agonies, as well as a mirror of his own inclination for seeking justice; and somehow, bruce fixates on the first one, while almost completely dismissing the latter.

bruce looks at him and assumes that the remedy to jason's pain and anger is being robin; and he doesn't stop to think about it. (it has to be noted that there's also classism at play, classism that is mostly a result of writers' own beliefs – collins did state in a couple of interviews that that the motivation behind jason's background was to make his introduction into vigilantism seem less offensive, as jason has already been exposed to crime...)

i think, in this context, it's interesting to look at the two-face storyline even closer, and from the start too. in the beginning, bruce talks of jason's 'street' roots and assumes jay would go "down the same criminal road that took his father [willis] to an early death." he also talks of jason making a lot of progress. later, in batman #411, after jason learns that willis has been killed by two-face, bruce comments that jay "has never been like this...listless...almost pouting--"

this all, along with jay's cheerful and diligent behaviour from the previous issue builds an interesting picture for us: because we essentially learn that jay has been overall an unproblematic child. bruce, of course, attributes this "progress" to the training. however, for anyone else, the logical conclusion would be that jay's quick adjustment was simply a matter of finding himself in a safe and stable environment and receiving continuous support and attention from a parental figure. i find it rather questionable that jason's personality softened down because he had something to punch in the cave–– the more intuitive explanation is of course that he was angry and quick to fight when they first met because he couldn't afford anything else and because he was scared. but months later, in a loving home, he can allow himself to drop his guard; and his cocky attitude disappears until much later.

so the rather unsettling picture that we derive is that bruce is training jay to become a vigilante in order to "channel" his (nonvisible at this point) anger into something useful and just. and he clearly links this to his own trauma in batman #416 (that’s already starlin btw), in his conversation with dick, explaining why he took jay in: “he’s so full of anger and frustration… he reminds me of myself, just after my parents were killed.” bruce also mentions that soon after their first meeting, jason helped him and "handled himself well" in the fight, but he doesn't mention that jay has ran away from a crime "school" and intended to stop injustice on his own only because he was ignored.

the theme of bruce comparing jay to himself appears again in detective comics #574 (barr), where it is approached with a much more... critical look, thanks to leslie's presence and her skepticism of bruce's actions. after jason has suffered nearly fatal injuries at the hand of the mad hatter, bruce reminisces on his own trauma and motives. he tells leslie: "i didn't choose jason for my work. he was chosen by it...as i was chosen." leslie replies: "stop that! (...) you do this for yourself... you're still that little boy (...)" then, the conversation steers to the familiar ground and the topic of anger. in bruce's words, again: “i wanted to give jason an outlet for his rage…wanted him to expunge his anger and get on with his life…” and finishes "and instead, i may have killed him."

the recognition that bruce's projection on jason and involving him with his work might have fatal consequences is, as always, fast forgotten once jay wakes up and proclaims that he wants to continue his work as robin.

but to circle back, i think there's something else worth our attention, something deeply ironic, that is showcased in that issue: that bruce has no evidence for jay's "rage." when leslie talks of bruce's past, she recalls his tendencies to get into brutal fights at perceived injustice as early as in school; when bruce talks of jason, two pictures that are juxtaposed, are that of jason fighting as robin and jason... smiling, playing baseball.

so, in the early days of jason's training and work in the field, we see bruce talking of jason's anger a lot; but we barely see it.

that being said, jay is angry sometimes– and i think your observation about how bruce deals with it is incredibly interesting and accurate.

we first see jay truly and devastatingly angry in the two-face storyline. bruce focuses on jay's reaction as robin, which is, in fact, aggressive. but something that he barely addresses is that jason's first reaction is sleeping all day, and not beating anyone to a pulp; in fact, this vengeful instinct seems to arise only when he is put right in front of two-face. and his third instinct, once the rage (very quickly) dies down after the altercation with two-face, is crying, because bruce hid the truth about willis' death from him. jay, while crying, asks bruce: "you have taken me out into combat-- but you spare me this?" in response, bruce lectures jason about how grief inspires revenge, which is, again, deeply ironic, given that jay seeking out revenge seemed to be prompted and enabled solely by the role of robin. moreover, his question suggests that at this point he saw grief ("you spare me this") and fighting as two different things.

the final is, as you said, bruce focusing on making it into a lesson on vigilantism, or, in his own words, "tempering revenge into justice." personally, i think in this way bruce directs jason to bring his grief into the field as a powering force, something that he didn't necessarily have an own incentive to do. the flash of compartmentalisation between his ordinary life and being a sidekick that jay has shown by questioning bruce's decision is lost. emotions are now a robin thing, and they have an (informal) protocol, a moral code. and when jay is confronted with an emotionally exhausting case next – the garzonas case, i believe that the focus on "tempering revenge into justice" is exactly the problem– we don't see jay crying, we see him frantic about finding the solution. this, right there, is bruce's obsessiveness, that in my opinion, was developed in jay specifically as a result of how his engagement with vigilantism combines with his deep sensitivity.

and, needless to say, his sensitivity is all the same as that of bruce – they both can't stand looking at other people hurting, they both wear their hearts on their sleeve, caring way too much – the thing is, bruce never quite acknowledges how they are similar in this matter. instead, he focuses on his sparse bursts of anger, wanting to bring jason closure in his grief the only way he knows it – in a fight for a better world. so, as you said, he focuses on jason's ability as robin.

which just doesn't work for jason. at all. we know it from how his robin run comes to an end: in the first issue of a death in the family (batman #426) alfred informs: “i’ve come upon him, several times, looking at that battered old photograph of his mother and father, crying.” to that, bruce contends: “in other words, i may have started jason as robin before he had a chance to come to grips with his parents deaths.” he also tells jay that the field is not a place for someone who is hurting; a message that is the opposite of what he's been saying for years now, and something that i imagine was difficult for bruce to conceptualise, because then he would have to question his own unhealthy tendencies. it's a bit late to come to this realisation; bruce's self-projection that caused him to worry so much about jay's anger has already turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy that will fully manifest itself in utrh, when jason does the only thing he was taught to do with grief: try to channel it into justice.