#i'm not sure i should have taken it

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Culture Shock

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#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #xiao xingchen #xue yang #a-qing #As I sit here and type out my thoughts I realize that the last panel looks like A-Qing is crushing XY's candy...oops. #she's supposed to be crunching her *own* wrapper for dramatic effect. XY's candy is still in XXC's hand. #Hes still standing there. 180 degrees out of frame. Which is where your heart is! MEANING: XXC is in your heart right now #holding out a little piece of candy that has yet to be taken. #This comic was so close to being on the chopping block. Honestly I'm still not sure I should have kept it in #but I liked this scene a lot*** and tbh the yi-city arc isn't around for much longer. Let them have fun while it lasts. #not to mention I have few opportunities to build up spanish speaking XXC. And we are close to the pay off. #XY is in his 'oh god I need to start learning the basics of this language or I will drown' phases. Lets see how well he does! #***The candy represents so much! It's a symbol of unobtainability! Of comfort and status! Both A-qing and XY crave candy as much as they- #-crave those 'unobtainables'! XY has money to by candy (part of status) but he lacks love and comfort is his life! #So XXC offering them this little piece of candy is more than just a treat! It's a piece of love! #But as sweet as candy is....it cannot last.... #(this also makes the scene where XY disrupts A-Qing's comfort by offering candy very interesting to analyze)

[rawliverandgoronspice]

words pale to express how much I hate macron at this point

#thoughts #my grandmother was sent home with an unexamined broken bone #because she is old so not a priority and the public services are fucking drowning #then obviously she fell again and broke two more and got open wounds #then she was taken in and stored in a *corridor* for days #and the operation on her shoulder is being stalled because they have zero openings #AND THIS BITCH is out there speaking of cutting 10 billion more funding for hospitals #you are selling us to private US interests like there is no tomorrow #forbidding us from protesting for our rights and maiming and killing your own citizen when we try #gassing up the far right to try and win by comparaison EVEN THOUGH you do the EXACT same thing as them AND criminalizing the left #pussying out of saying you 100% support Israel when this is actually what's happening because you're a coward #AND prepping us for a war with russia that I'm fairly sure has nothing to do with genuine solidarity with ukraine #but far more with the european political chessboard and your own mark upon history because that's the kind of person you are #and doing your little ego parade for the olympics as though this should in any way shape of form be the priority right now??? #as if it's not unbelievably dangerous given the current state of the world?? #I want to eat a wall every time I see him on my screen #I am. very angry about many things at the moment. :)

[frankiensteinsmonster]

I think if a boss wants to fire an employee based off behavior that could be a symptom of mental or physical disorder (call out often, can't work as fast/long without breaks, spaces out, ect.) , they sould be required to help that employee get on disability+ also pursue a diagnosis + also they have to actually Get Approved for the disability funding before they can get cut loose.

#I'm #not the kind of the world this is just a brain thoughts moment pleAse do not bother me about whether or not this is half baked. i know its #half baked -- I didn't bake it all the way. #Point is!!! i want disabled people and people Symptomatic of disability to be taken care of #!!! #and i think the people who are in charge of whether or not we Get Money should be responsible for making sure we still Get Money even if we #obviously cant work #if its not realistic enough for you. tweak it #but tweak it somewhere else i get paid 16/h and i have a million body and brain problems i constantly worry about where i stand in any #employment setting

[iero]

Had a panic attack that literally woke me up in the middle of the night last night and lasted until the early morning and let me tell you, that shit is TERRIFYING. Needless to say, I think I'm ready to go back to work.

#personal #Am I still in pain? Yes. Is it controllable when painkillers are taken though? Also yes. Somewhat. #Breaking news! #Girlie who doesn't have their mental health under control feels 100x worse being holed up in the place they live alone under for FOUR days #I literally have not left my house since my surgery on Wednesday morning... #And then I'm wondering why my anxiety/panic attacks have been God awful these four days... Gee I wonder why! #Like I don't wanna go back to work because capitalism but I need to for like... A distraction. #My thoughts have been racing and I'm just begging for people to talk to me in my personal life to calm my anxiety down. #It feels debilitating at this point. It's literally taken over my life. #And I have my anxiety meds but I only just got them so I have to wait that 1-3 weeks for them to actually 'kick in.' #I really should have asked my new GP for the tiniest amount of benzos to get me through this recovery. #And I don't even have a follow-up appt. for my recovery but I am gonna call them on Mon. and ask for one for my own peace of mind. #I've called this office three times now over the course of three days to make sure what I'm feeling is 'normal.' #Anyway!!!

[nerdgirlnarrates]

Recently I was talking to another med student and shared that before my grandmother died, her heart failure had gotten so bad that her doctors couldn’t effectively diurese her and she ended up needing several thoracenteses. The other med student suggested that these procedures were too aggressive and my grandmother’s doctors should have let her die instead. And I’m confused, because these procedures were very much palliative in nature: it is painful to have a pleural effusion preventing you from breathing well. She needed surgery to address the valve issues causing her heart failure, but she was not a good candidate for surgery, so she had already foregone curative measures. Also, my grandmother did not want to die of a pleural effusion. I’m not saying her quality of life was good--it wasn’t--but she didn’t want to essentially drown to death. And I’m kind of upset at the notion that her doctors should have forced her to die that way. That’s not humanity, peace, or dignity in death. Maybe I’m misunderstanding something, but the conversation has left me unhappy.

#I honestly hope I'm missing something #but I really think refusing my grandmother a procedure she wanted that relieved her pain would be incredibly cruel #also not sure how we're bypassing the issue of her very much having capacity and consenting to the procedure #idk this philosophy that this decision about her life #both its quality and quantity #should be taken away from her #makes me queasy #medblr #med school #med student #medicine #palliative care #end of life #my content #my text posts

[liapher]

Kommt Mausi raus?! (1995)

„Du bist draußen, du bist auch nie wirklich drinnen gewesen!“

#q&a: #1. could i have tried to hunt down a version with a slightly higher resolution for this? #sure. but i maintain that hashtag truelesbianmovies were made in the 90s or 2000s on a shoestring budget and then #someone uploaded them to youtube or dailymotion in 2010 and the video never got taken down. and you can count the pixels ! #(just like i'm a cheerleader yes or no fucking åmål the incredibly true story of two girls in love etcetc staples of the genre) #(i would bet all of these still exist as 480p videos on youtube) #2. most unexpected scene? #acoustic cover of abba's chiqitita at the dorfkirmes-zelt???? #3. most charming(?) detail? #everybody speaking with regionally marked accents but 90% of the time it's not the actor's actual accent #4. sparing you my actual review of this move. i do think it should have at least two (2) posts total on this here website. so here's post 2 #kommt mausi raus?! #kommt mausi raus

[caspersscareschool]

.

#i have to say this somewhere or im gonna go crazy #so at a preschool. you HAVE to have one adult sitting at every table when kids are eating. and you also need a person in the hall #for kids getting their lunchboxes and going to the bathroom and shit ok. are you with me here. this makes sense #so today. my 2 coworkers had already taken the chairs bc i got caught up in the hall but i was so fucking hungry that i just ate standing u #which was fine. like i could just put my lunch down if someone needed my help and i Did that ok it was fine. no one was left alone #but later at SNACKTIME. it took me forever to get these 2 kids in the room and seated ready to eat & by the time i got in some kids were #already finished and ready to go to the playroom. so i was like ok i guess I'm not eating for the latter half of the day because they cant #be left alone. and my 2 coworkers at this point were sitting with the snackers and they looked fine so i looked after the Players #intermittently glancing to the snack tables to make sure everyone was fine mind you #So what happened here was. #There was a 20 second interval between the time i glanced up to see 2 adults at the snack table. And the time i glanced up to see #a completely unsupervised snack table. one kid STANDING UP ON THE TABLE blowing raspberries and pointing at the other kids #could not have been more than 20 or 30 seconds that i wasn't looking and NO ONE TOLD ME they were leaving the room #if i had been WARNED that they were leaving i would have prioritized the snackers and sat with them so no one choked and no one fucking #stood on the table #but they both just left for whatever reason without saying anything #and when i brought it up after school they were just like. well marty you were eating too much during lunch #next time you should eat before coming in to work so you can give the kids your full attention #??????? i already skipped a meal today for that exact reason?? how is it my fault that i don't want to starve? #am i actually in the wrong here because it's driving me FUCKING nuts. that was NOT a safe situation and it obviously can NOT happen again #but the issue was a lapse in communication not me wanting to eat food so i don't actually die #and those were two different times of day so they're not even relevant #obviously there are bigger issues in the world than this but i feel like throwing up over it. this was not my fault #I'm sorry that you guys can survive off of like 1 spoonful of granola and a single acai berry for the entire day but im not built like that

[stargazerdaisy]

The Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is hitting so hard tonight. I need to convince my brain that the world is in fact NOT over, that I haven't ruined everything, and it is okay to be seen in public tomorrow.

#personal #rsd #i know I'm disproportionately upset about this #that I'm spending 10x the emotion and energy than anyone else is about it #but i still can't entirely talk myself out of it #i probably should have taken my anxiety meds a couple hours ago #but nooooooooo #I'm so smart surely i can talk myself out of this irrationality that is caused by my deficient brain chemicals

[s-prince]

Hate you Robin hsr

#so funny that how I felt switched. I went from hating firefly to liking her and liking Robin to hating her #Btw the reason is basically because she's an ableist. Saying survival of the fittest is fucking insane #And she's in a position of power. “The strong should protect the weak” what tf are you doing ... definitely nothing in the like #government you were brought into. What??? #Literally acts like a missionary #I'm not saying Sunday claiming that autonomy should be taken away is right. Both are bad choices that's the point #This is all based on main plot btw. Idc enough to read her character story. She sucks #Piting everyone for choosing to go to paradise. Lord forbid there's escapism #You know SHE knows what's right so no one should be given the choice to be in the dreamscape #That's sarcasm #I get seeing the dreamscape as something terrible. And yes literally people were paying for it with their minds #But she literally didn't know that. Her views are based on people being in the dreamscape #Yeah the strong should protect the weak. No I don't think that means they're entitled to make the rules #But God. Just saying that people shouldn't want to have relief from life #“If you're disabled or dying you should just go see a doctor and rehabilitate yourself” UHUH #Yeah it's that easy. Yup. Yeah. I'm sure no one ever gave that thought #hsr #honkai star rail #hsr spoilers #Honkai Star Rail spoilers #penacony spoilers

[running-in-the-dark]

sooooo

I'm 32 now

when can I expect to finally grow out of getting obsessed with men people stuff? I'm waiting....

#I doooo not want it #it's embarrassing #can it stop please #BUT also can I not feel depressed and like an empty shell when it's not happening #I mean I can handle it when it's things. hobbies. shows. whatever #sure it usually ends up being expensive as fuck but #at least I don't go around humiliating myself by talking about nothing but a random guy for months on end #how embarrassing! I think a man is hot! I must jump off a cliff immediately #but whyyyy can't I be normal about it at least #other people get obsessed with normal things! like. idk. anything else #soo anyway the opening narration for the texas chainsaw massacre is great isn't it? he did such a good job :) what a nice voice :) I am not #going to be weird about this man any longer :) no I won't! I'm normal about him! I don't want to bite him or chew on his face or anything #like that. just normal things. uh. sex? that's what people usually want. yeah fine that. I mean I do. want. oh I think I'm doing it again #haha no it's fine I just think he's neat (he's the only person on earth no one else exists anymore he's so beautiful oh my god have you seen #his little face he looks like a cute little potato I've never seen anything prettier in my life haha I need to run my hands through his hair #and have you seen how tall he is and he's so cute and I need to. be taken outside and shot. god. #I keep. shrieking. every time I see him. at such a high frequency that it hurts my own fucking ears. because. I can't believe that he exists #I'm. so. stupid!!!! #annnd repeat this every time this happens blah blah blah i should jsut delete this blog right now oh my GOD.

[piningpercussionist]

literally my favorite blog on tumblr. Ur perfect at being Kim Pine and I love the little notes it the tags :3

(^ this is me at you rn)

Thank you so much <333 it seriously means the world to me that people love/like my Kim stuff. AND to know that some of yall actually read my silly little notes

I try to keep her as in character as I can, and I feel I have been largely successful, for the most part. I feel like she comes fairly naturally to me- I only occasionally hit snags,, but usually that's just because I'm high or something and am overcome with the desire to Maximize The Silly shfgkjshjld She's so serious though, usually. I love her <3 I love getting to be her for The People

#im never sure how many of those little notes get read but i love leaving them. little insight into my Unhinged Mind. or my day sometimes #not all of them make it into the final post- sometimes i go ''hm perhaps that is too many notes'' and remove some-- or decide they didn't + #+need to be there for whatever reason. but yeah i like leaving them for people #ooc #txt #asks #anon #im like one unhinged moment away from making ANOTHER kim blog one of these days you guys dont even know #((it would be future kim... i want to write about The Goats. I'd /j but I'm not joking. it would be a kimona blog basically sdkjfshj)) #((want to live my ''they have goats in the future'' truth and no one should be allowed to stop me)) #idk if I'll do that though. I still haven't opened the werewolf kim blog (cause yes that does exist. i've actually given a very big hint at #+the username for it here for people that have ALL the hints... but only two people know about it I think) #((as i write this actually i am. unsure if i explicitly told the second person the username for that one.... for people who didn't receive #+the hints from before or need/want a reminder- I am Genuinely Shocked it wasn't a taken username w the userbase of this site- and it's + #+also a song reference. I feel like it's findable w that :3c )) #but yeah. like i have said in the discord a couple times now: i am she and she is me. I love getting to be Kim here it's great #i love and relate to her a lot. she is deeply beloved

[guinevereslancelot]

i'm so bummed i accidentally turned town a job interview for a job where I could have worked with a good friend and mentor 😔

#i was telling her abt the preschool i got hired at and i was like yeah im worried bc the other teacher doesn't seem nice #and the student teacher ratio is really bad they're really understaffed and underfunded im just really worried it will be too much for me #and she was like oh you should apply to the school i work at bc we're hiring snd the ratio is great and the pay might be better also #and i never knew the name of the school she worked at until then #and its one i DID apply to but i told them nevermind after this one hired me 😬 #but now i really wish i'd taken that interview #i'm going to call or email first thing on monday tho and hopefullyyy i can get in for an interview before i start my new job on thursday #so i wont literally have to take time off for it #and then if they offer me i will be able to tell the new job nevermind while its still early #either that or i'll try to stick it out a few months then apply to the other one for summer or something #but im not sure whether its best to quit immediately or let them think im dependable and staying then leave in three months lol #but mostly for the other job idk if it would ruin the opportunity to tell them nevermind i want the job a week after i said no #compared to a few months later #they might have forgotten me by then which would probably be good #idkkk #my first reference literally works there which will hopefully help and maybe they'll give me a break #the pay scale looks the same as the one i just accepted but i think they'll offer less bc they're not as desperate #but i literally dont care its such a better working environment #and the pay scale is the same so they would give me a raise after a few months #and the work will be so much easier #and the commute #and i Definitely know i can work with my friend #vs the co teacher at this new job who seems really intense and unfriendly #anyway!! #im really anxious abt this new job and i'll stay if the other place wont take me now #but i really hope they give me another chance #also its super close and easy drive and the commute for the other one scares me a bit lol #this has been a shitpost

[queer-reader-07]

screaming crying throwing up there's a queer studies class at my college next term but it's during my calculus class so i can't take it AND EVEN THOUGH I KNOW IT'S BEING OFFERED AGAIN NEXT YEAR it's gonna be at the same time which is STILL going to be during either calc or ochem 😭😭

#'what about in a few years?' #well you see i will be transferring after next year (long story not gonna elaborate) #and idk if the college i'm going to be at after this one has queer studies #but i sure hope it does #because i need that in my life #i haven't taken anything similar since freshman year of high school #fucking major requirements and having to take up through calc 3 #(possibly calc 4??? i can't remember. i should probably figure that out) #personal #queer studies #stem major shenanigans

[strawberry-cowmilk]

I honestly have such a good sense of self control because there are times I really really wanna play omori but I can't record so I have to wait until I can and yet I almost can't control myself when I'm at the mall and I see 20% off signs (black friday will destroy me)

#nana talks #I major in psychology and I can't explain this behavior #while I have taken courses that would have probably given me the knowledge #but remember I'm not a psychologist and basically anything in psychology is hard to explain #literally almost every lecture the prof goes we do not know this for sure but write it down #I also should really finish the luci art for my art accounts

[trans-leek-cookie]

as a certified Aromantic Asexual (I should make myself a certificate) I genuinely don't Believe there is systemic oppression that specifically targets Aromantic or Asexual people.

I do however believe that people Cannot be normal about ppl who don't have sex or romantic relationships, and that can Really Impact Aromantic And Asexual People.

Also like. Aros n aces are still. Experiences Other forms of oppression that can interact with the aro and/or ace-ness

#Like. Woman doesn't get married. Maybe aro maybe illegal for her to marry who she wants maybe no fuckin reason. She's probably gonna get #Some shit for it but that's primarily misogyny. While it does affect aro ppl disproportionately bc. Yeah. It's not based on them being #Aro it's a conicindental intersection. Also can y'all be normal about sex and virgins #Anyway slightly related dreaming of a world in which it was better acknowledged that sex repulsion while common for ace ppl #Was not synonymous w being ace so we avoided the ace discord phenomenon that a bunch of gay/lesbian/bi ppl mis identified as ace #Bc they couldn't deal w the idea of having sex w a person of the same gender #With the idea of actually having sex bc it was treated as gross (sex repulsion as a result of society) or that trauma survivors #Misidentified as ace bc they had issues w sex bc trauma. Also that sex repulsion wasnt like an identity but rather a Symptom that could be #Either a problem or neutral. Who else's brain was boiled by ace and also inclus/exclus discord and came out thinking everyone was fucking #Stupid. Like both sides had Points but it was mostly just bullshit and no one fucking talking. Also ppl kept talking about ace ppl #''stealing resources'' and multiple ppl joked Abt that which is a problem bc that means. A BUNCH OF LGBT PPL DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT RESOURCE #THEY HAD (anyway looking back on it. Idk if ace ppl were even taking up resources or anything like the common example was LGBT shelters #Bc like if u were gay u might be kicked out of a normal shelter but if u were ace u would probably not get kicked out so if an ace person #Went to an LGBT shelter then they might've taken a bed from someone who needed it more which. I guess is theoretically possible but also id #If that ever fucking. Was something to actually give a shit Abt. Correct me if I'm wrong) #ALSO the idea of ''all gay ppl should go to hell'' ''oh do bi ppl only half go to hell?'' sure thats probably a problem but also. A LOT OF #THOSE WERE EVERYONE DOING IT INCLUDING GAY PPL? LIKE THE FUCKING ''ALL GAY PPL SHOULD BE ON AN ISLAND AND THE POPULATION AUFNFJNSAJ'' #like does anyone else remember that. Everyone was making those stupid fucking jokes. This is just a rant Abt me being on Tumblr without an #Account for years and the psychic damage I've accrued. Anyway fuck AO3 goodbye

[mattodore]

i hit 3k pins on the oc boards last night without even noticing 🥺

#river dipping #what’s funny is i just deleted like forty pins from theo’s board that didn’t represent him anymore and i STILL have 3k 😭 #theo’s board is years old and i cleaned it out a few times before but i finally was like okay no. #some of these pins just don’t make sense for him at all you need to delete them even if you’re attached to them atp. #i need to do the same with some of matthias and dionte's early pins too but i've been putting it off #anyway <333333333333333!!!!!!!!!! i'm going to read for an hour or two and then it's back in cas to start on theo's mom #i finished his dad last night i just didn't post abt it #theo's parents are gonna look much younger than matthias's but they're probably close in age. theo's are maaaybe a little younger... #ALSO...... i realized when i was making theo's dad that like. theo and matthias aren't close in age like matthias and imani. #like there's a 2-4 year age gap there... so like. for the edit i'm just gonna make them both fifteen anyway and say Oh Well! #like just pretend there's no age difference #me being like 'i don't wanna give exact ages at the current spot in the story' is fine until i wanna do something like this kdfjgnk #theo's in his early twenties and matthias is in his mid-twenties #theo's like..... somewhere between 22-24 and matthias is somewhere from 25-26... no more than 27 that's for sure #theo's still in university is the thing... like i've always been like theo's 24-ish but realized like hang on... he should be younger #he's very studious and his course load is STACKED so if anything he should be out of university by 22... which is where i've hit a snag #i was thinking oh maybe he could've taken a gap year but like. his parents wouldn't have allowed that at all. #and then i was like okay... maybe he went to rehab for a year so he's behind...? #but again........ his parents wouldn't have allowed him to disgrace the family name publically like that by admitting he has problems #so like... i'm just sort of covering my mouth and mumbling whenever i talk about ages lmao #i just don't want theo to be really young and i don't wanna budge on matthias's age either #idk idk i'll think of something. maybe it can relate to the breakdown he's meant to have... #...anyway. out of the oc soup and into this book <3