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yzafre · 2 years

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when I drop like a cannonball (from cloud nine) | Interlude: Axel

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Roxas was gone, and Axel -

wasn’t handling it well.

It went like this: Ever since Roxas left the Organization, disappearing into the night, something within him had been aching.

Why did they leave, why did they always leave him behind, please, stop running, just a little bit longer, I’ll take care of it, stay with me, why can’t you just stay –

When he failed to bring Roxas back, when he realized that all the memories of their time together – the only thing a Nobody had to hold onto – were erased from his friend’s mind, he felt hollower than he had since the early days of the Organization, when the wounds of becoming an Nobody were still fresh.

When he battled Roxas, who now remembered, who pulled out two Keyblades and two pairs of wings, Axel felt as if every wound cut deep beneath his skin.

When he failed to defeat Roxas, failed at his half-formed plan to grab him and go, when he woke again to the knowledge that Roxas was gone now, rejoined with Sora, he started wondering if he lost another vital organ for how gutted he felt, pressure building and building till he screamed just to let it out, pressure popping from his spine with a lurch.

When he stood and caught his reflection in a nearby window, when he saw the ragged ashy-brown wings stretching from his back, mangled and bleeding but real, Axel laughed, and laughed, and laughed until he choked on his tears, like he’d wanted to for weeks, because oh.

Of course.

He didn’t fully understand, not really, because who was their third? For all his and Saïx’s history, he’d quite firmly shut the door on that possibility.

A half-formed memory, faint enough to be a dream – keep your mouth shut – and the cavernous pit inside of him that he can now name as bitterness, resentment, seemed so much deeper than before –

But if not Saïx, if not Isa, then who? Was it Sora, pulled into a bond with them because his wings were inside of Roxas? But no, something about that didn’t sit quite right. Well, it didn’t matter, not for now. All that mattered was getting Roxas back - and screw the Organization. What was left for him, there? The promise of a heart that his wings said he no longer needed? Saïx and the past that had died years ago? No.

Calm settled over him, the familiar chill of an assassin’s calculation. Axel was going to get his Flight-mate back, no matter what it took.

He stumbled out into the sunlight, silently joining Riku and Naminé on Sunset Terrace just in time to watch the Keyblade Hero’s train trundle off into the distance.

“Guess that’s that,” he sighed, leaning heavily against the fencing and watching Riku from the corner of his eyes, “Are you happy now? After all, you got exactly what you wanted.”

Riku didn’t deign to look at him, instead staring out after the train, “Let’s go.”

Axel scoffed, “Go where? It’s not like we have homes to return to. We don’t exist, remember?”

“Perhaps,” Naminé cut in, and she really didn’t look good, did she? Haggard and worn, darkness eating her from the inside out, “But… there is someplace I want to go. Things I need to do.”

“Same here,” Axel said, mind spinning, considering how to play this. He had seeping wings, and a broken heart, and nothing left if he stopped here, “So, you think you might let us go? I know you’re here to get rid of us, but.”

Naminé’s kept her head angled down at her sketchbook, but her gaze peered up through her lashes at Riku – no shock, just resignation, something a bit like determination, like challenge, “So, he's finally decided to dispose of me?”

Riku flinched back, looked away. The coat could hide a lot, but if you knew where to look you could see the signs of his uncomfortable shifting, “Go.”

“You sure about this?” Axel wondered. What a sudden turn of heart, from the guy that tore through the darkness, that disposed of Roxas so easily to restore the Hero.

“I owe you both.”

Owed? Him? Was the little dark-walker actually feeling some regret? It didn’t matter, of course, Roxas was still gone, but.

Also, what was up with Riku’s voice? Did that growth-spurt of his let him skip the cracking voice phase as well?

“For what?” Naminé asked, seemingly equally baffled.

“Castle Oblivion. You helped us.”

Axel huffed, “Heh. You don’t have to tell me twice.”

He stepped through a dark corridor, moving from sunshine to sunshine, gazing out over the town below from the clock tower view as an idea began to build in his mind. Beside him, another set of footsteps landed lightly as Naminé came through behind him.

“Hitching a ride?” he asked lightly, “I thought you could make your own pathways.”

Naminé just watched him silently. Well, fair enough. They stood in silence, lingering as the sun slipped from red to purple to deep, deep blue, stars beginning to pepper the sky. Finally, Namine shifted beside him.

“What are you going to do?” she asked.

Axel breathed, let the seething ball of bitterness and anger twisting in his chest take him, pain spilling up and out to form weeping wings. Looking back over his shoulder, he grinned at the gutted look of horror, fear, and guilt that spilled over her face.

“I’m going to get my Flight back.”

He summoned a dark corridor with a wave of his hand, stepping through and closing it behind him without looking back. It was a bit late, too late to keep their promise, but -

It was time for a trip to the beach.

Axel had a plan.

It went like this: recreate as much as he could of Roxas’s birth, follow Roxas’s heart when it emerged, snag the re-born Nobody –

Did he even count as a Nobody with a heart? Did Axel? How much of a heart did you need to be human? –

and get outta dodge while the heroes of light were figuring out what to do with the suddenly heartless-Sora. Whatever they did last time, presumably.

The first step was important – he couldn’t just go in hot and swarm the Hero with heartless. He had to be careful about this. See, while Axel was surprised he was able to develop a heart, half-formed as it was, he wasn’t particularly shocked that Xemnas lied about it.

Axel had a rather unique job in the Organization, and he paid attention. So, Axel knew things about the creation of Nobodies others in the Organization didn’t. Well, maybe the scientists figured it out, but if they did, they certainly didn’t tell anyone before they were eliminated.

‘Were eliminated’, ha. What a nice way to put it.

The point was, Axel knew Xemnas lied about the nature of their existence before. Nobodies were made when the shell left behind when a heartless was created had a strong enough will to continue on. To retain their humanoid form as a Nobody, then, those of the Organization must have an even greater will, above all others. Or so Xemnas claimed.

Well, that was a nice thought, but most of them were made from a very particular, very catastrophic experiment failure. The Keyblade wielder’s nobody came from the center of a truly phenomenal amount of shenaniganry, and as for the last remaining few members, well –

If humanoid Nobodies occurred naturally, Axel figured he wouldn’t have been handed a special weapon when he was sent to ensure they became Nobodies.

The point was, Axel had some experience with this, and Axel knew there were very specific circumstances surrounding the creation of a greater Nobody. The circumstances surrounding Roxas were more specific than most.

Admittedly, most of those circumstances would take far too much effort to re-create on short notice. Hollow Bastion was under too much observation, and with the rebuilding efforts it brought up too much baggage that he would like to avoid, thanks. Likewise, kidnapping all the princesses of heart would take too long, and bring far too much heat down on his head besides.

But one Princess, especially one so deeply connected to Sora? Now, that was doable.

After briefly slipping back into the World that Never Was, stealing a weapon, a tool he hadn’t used in years, Axel opened a corridor to the Keyblade wielder’s home world. He found Kairi on the sands of the beach, staring out at the sky.

“Waiting for someone?” he asked, stepping up lightly beside her.

She blinked, seemingly coming to herself, off-balance as she looked up at him, “Yes. Although, I’m starting to think… maybe waiting isn’t good enough.”

“My thoughts exactly! If you have a dream, don’t wait. Act.” He grinned, quickly dialing it down – no, too much, too big, too many teeth, gotta keep it low-key – as he put his hands in his pockets and leaned in, just slightly.

“We’ve got something in common, Kairi. You and I both miss someone we care about,” he lifted his face into a bland smile, huffed a single laugh, friendly, commiserating, “Hey, I feel like we’re friends already.”

Instead of relaxing, she froze, eyeing him cautiously from the corner of her eyes, “Who are you?”

Hm, this wasn’t going as smoothly as he hoped. Where did he misstep? He waved a hand, seemingly nonchalant, motioning the dusks on stand-by to begin creeping closer, “The name’s Axel, got it memorized? I happen to be an acquaintance of Sora. Why don’t we go see him?”

Kairi turned to face him, and he waited for the bite, the excitement of seeing her friend, but instead she looked wary, even angry, as she stepping back, fists clenched, “How do you know I’m waiting for Sora? How do you know my name?”

Ah. He’d gotten ahead of himself - impatient, sloppy. He’d never had that problem without a heart; how inconvenient. Now things were getting complicated. That’s alright, it would all be worth it, in the end.

“Tsk. This could have been so easy,” he sighed, signaling the dusks to spring up, surrounding her, “The offer was genuine, you know? I really am going to take you to Sora, no matter what.”

“No!” A dark corridor formed behind Kairi, Naminé barreling out to stand in front of Kairi, arms spread wide, “You can’t!”

“Naminé,” Axel scowled, “Interfering again? I thought you, of all people, would understand.”

“But this isn’t right!” she said, turning to Kairi and offering her hand, “Please, we have to go.”

“But,” Kairi hesitated, eyes flickering over to Axel, and for a moment he thought his hook would work anyways, “Is Sora –“

“Sora’s fine,” Naminé said, “He’s with people who are looking after him. But we can’t let people like the Organization use you against him. You’ll see him again, I promise, but please!”

She offered her hand again, more insistently, and as Axel saw Kairi crumbling, he scowled, summoning his chakrams in a flicker of fire.

One heartbeat, it fell into his hand.

Two heartbeats, Kairi took Naminé’s.

A third, and the dusks converged as he sent his chakram flying.

Four, and they vanished into the dark corridor as his weapon hit the sand.

Damn, it just couldn’t be easy.

Another good skill for an assassin was tracking.

It went like this: most didn’t realize, but if you got to a corridor just after it closed you could trace its origin. The problem was that it was time consuming, and by the time you managed it your target would no longer be at the landing point. If you completed several jumps after, you could make a trail long enough that it would fade before your pursuer reached the end.

Still, Naminé was fairly new to making corridors, and with the state she was in, he doubted she wanted to make more jumps than she had to. That was the danger of traveling the Dark without proper gear, and it worked to his advantage. With a little bit of handiwork, he ripped the corridor back open, retracing her steps across the darkness to step out into blinding white walls.

Castle Oblivion.

Searching for anything in Castle Oblivion was a royal pain. Axel should know, he’d been up and down the floors more times than he could count. Thirteen floors, and near as many in the basement, not to mention the twists and turns of the hidden stairwells; it was like looking for a needle in haystack, and the Castle hadn’t even given all its secrets up.

But Axel was an expert – the expert, in this place – and he found it, finally, the barely noticeable energy behind the door. Hiding in a memory room was dangerous, given their inherently temporary nature, but if anyone could sustain one it would be Naminé, with her powers. Besides, this was the girl who’d been walking the Darkness without protection for near on a year; dangerous wasn’t exactly going to stop her.

Axel summoned a corridor, slipping through a passage to the other side of the door to find a dimly lit room, a near-perfect replicant of Vexen’s lab. Sagging bookcases lined every wall, cluttered with textbooks and equipment. A long table stretched down the center, cluttered with texts and stacks of notes, haphazard in a way the scientist would never have allowed. The walkway on either side was crowded with various machines – printers, a fan, some kind scanner he’d seen Vexen use once to take readings. On the far wall, two large, cylindrical chambers rose to the ceiling, both filled with pulsing liquid. Each contained a floating silhouette, the one on the left illuminated to show a perfect copy of Riku – or, as Axel suspected grimly, his replica.

At the foot of the table, two girls sat huddled together.

“There you are, Kairi, Naminé,” Axel drawled. Both girls jumped to their feet, whirling to face him with identical looks of alarm. It was remarkable, really. If it wasn’t for the clothes, the hair, it was like looking at twins. He smirked, “I should have known you would choose here to hide. Couldn’t resist returning home?”

“Axel.”

“Gotta admit, you’ve got guts, Kairi – running right into the Darkness with a complete stranger. But you’ll be coming with me, now.”

“Axel, you can’t do this,” Naminé said, hand on Kairi’s arm as she nudged her slowly back and around the table, “I understand how this hurts, better than anyone, but – he’s gone. You have to let go.”

“Like you did?” Axel questioned, head tilting to the replica floating in the vat.

Naminé’s flinched back, glancing up at him before shaking her head, “Maybe not, but I didn’t kill anyone to –“

“Didn’t you?” he cut her off, the words falling heavily between them. He paused, a deeper truth itching at him, begging to be remember, revealed, but it stayed just out of reach. He shrugged, head rolling slowly to the side as he watched her through narrowed eyes, “You wanted Sora back, and you deemed Roxas an acceptable sacrifice. I’m just doing the same.”

Naminé’s eyes slipped closed, “I understand. But, I’m sure you understand why I can’t just let you do this, either.”

Awareness prickled up the back of Axel’s neck, and he lurched forward just as she spun back, hand slamming onto the top the fan. It clicked on with a whir, spinning into full blast, sending hundreds of pages flying into the air and into Axel’s face as he scrambled across the table. By the time he managed to make it through the impromptu smokescreen, they were gone.

Tracking them quickly became tedious.

It went like this: when he first stepped onto the rocky patch of land beneath a starry sky, the sea crashing all around, dampening the ground, the air, he thought he was in a known, a memory gone by catching up to him –

I can fly, and boom, huh?

– But that wasn’t quite right, the landforms weren’t quite familiar. He shook it off, striding forward into the world.

He found them patching together a hasty shelter, scattered supplies piled under the leaky roof. He called for dusks to attend him, a few showing up with soft pops. Hm. Less than he would like, but doable. He sent them circling closer, pale shadows against the sand, as he carefully paced forward.

A dusk slid over a pile of coconuts in its path. Axel’s breath caught as they wavered, shuddered, then fell. The girls’ heads snapped to the side and the nobodies froze, caught out. Hissing in frustrating, Axel jumped into action, summoning a chakram and sending it spinning forward in a single snap of his wrist. He lunged after it, aiming to grab Kairi after she was knocked out, but Naminé moved, and his weapon was flung off course in a shimmer of lilac lights.

Axel slammed to a halt, his follow-up attack blocked by the same force, the recoil shivering up his limbs. Time froze, shock dripping over him as Naminé stared back at him from behind the ghostly wings curved around her in protection.

Axel stared back, watching as the spectral forms, ones she’d used so naturally, so familiarly, fade away. He’d been astounded by his own wings, but she didn’t even seem surprised. Why – ?

For a breath, maybe two, she seemed confused at his pause, before slowly her eyes flooded with realization, with guilt.

“You knew,” he realized. It sunk in further, bubbling heat searing his inside, flickering out through his skin, igniting the air around him, “You knew!”

Fire erupted around them, sparkling on the sands, nibbling at their shelter, grass lighting aflame. Wings ripped from his back, screaming-aching-longing, and he advanced. Horror painted Kairi’s face, Naminé shifted into grim determination, and he seethed.

The flames grew, shadows lengthened, and in all the chaos, they slipped away.

Axel had forgotten how truly overpowering emotions could be.

It went like this: Axel stalked the worlds, fury in his every step as he tracked the two girls.

She knew.

Every part of him shook, a constant humming beneath his skin. He felt like his body was on fire, even as ice howled through the hollow ache in his chest, cold as any blizzard.

She knew.

The ease with which she used her spectral wings, there was no way she’d never manifested them before. No way she didn’t know they existed. Wings were supposed to be an impossibility for Nobodies, his own shook Axel to the core, and yet –

She knew.

It was one thing, when they had simply made a Nobody disappear. He hated it, hated the way they discarded of Roxas so easily, denied his life, the memories that were so precious to Axel. But Nobodies didn’t exist, so he could understand the logic from a certain point of view, wiping away the shadow to restore the somebody, but –

She knew.

She knew they could have wings, knew they could be more, and she did it anyway. It stung again, fresh, the way they dismissed Roxas completely, all he was, all they were, thrown away for the sake of the Keyblade wielder, and –

She knew!

He moved through the worlds in a blur, unaware of anything but the path to his quarry. Finally, finally, he found them, the world around him snapping into focus. Purple ground, a wide sky, rubble all around them – the remains of Radiant Garden. No, Hollow Bastion, they were calling it now. Unease turned in his stomach, but he shoved it down, drowning it in the seething ball of rage in his stomach.

This time, when he summoned the dusks, he made sure they sprung up between the two girls. No need to have Naminé getting in his way again.

“Kairi!” Naminé called, reaching out only to flinch back as a dusk reared up in her face.

“Naminé!” Kairi called back, twisting in place, trying to keep all the enemies in sight.

“You know, not many can evade me for so long,” he said, stalking towards them as the dusks circled closer, closer. Kairi turned to face him, glaring back in defiance, and he scoffed, “But I’m afraid your little protector’s revealed her last dark secret. This time, you’ll be coming with me.”

At his command, a dusk leapt. Kairi cringed back, hands up in a futile block. For a moment Axel almost saw something - a flash, a light, glowing near her hands as Naminé flinched across from her – before a blur of black darted forward, destroying the nobody in a single strike.

“Riku,” Naminé breathed, slumping in relief even as Kairi went rigid, “Riku, he’s trying to turn Sora into a heartless, to recreate Roxas’s birth.”

Riku’s head turned to Axel beneath the black hood, and Axel growled in frustration. Behind Riku, Naminé pulled Kairi away despite her stuttered protests, ripping open another corridor and sending them away. Axel stepped after them but drew up short as Riku summoned his Keyblade pointedly.

“So that’s how it’s going to be,” he sighed, summoning his chakram.

Riku wasn’t an easy fight. As much as he hated to admit it, as much as he was holding his own, Axel wasn’t sure he could take him down. Still, he thought as he sliced a long cut up the other’s arm, he had no intention of making it easy.

“I’m starting to regret letting you live,” Riku rumbled, retreating for the moment.

“Ha; well, I did wonder,” Axel said, hefting a chakram over his shoulder, “Still, bit too late to take it back now.”

Riku stared him down – contemplatively? Disdainfully? With that hood up, who knew? “It’s over,” he said, “Roxas is back where he’s supposed to be. You need to let him go.”

“You know, Naminé said the same thing. ‘Let him go.’ Gotta say, you really are a bunch of hypocrites,” the lighter voice replied, pacing backwards, “After all, I’m just doing whatever it takes to get my friend back. Just like you.”

The blow landed, Riku flinching, however minutely, and Axel took the chance to jump back, escaping through a corridor of his own. He’d wasted enough time.

It was much harder to track someone without a trail.

It went like this: He walked through world after world, with no clues. When the fifth world in a row left him in the middle of a dense jungle, no clues in sight, Axel took a moment to stand and seethe. The wildlife continued to murmur around him, wind brushing through the light leaves as frogs croaked, monkeys chittered, and birds called from above. Summoning his chakram, he began cutting his way through the underbrush. Sparks flew at each wild swing.

Finally, the forest began to thin out, jungle fading to savannah. Unfortunately, the underbrush also changed to patches of thick, thorny bushes that caught on the bottom of his coat, tearing at the fabric. Swearing under his breath, he whacked insistently at the branches, trying to jerk free. He cut his eyes to the side at a rustle of the bush next to him.

The branches quivered, a freshly fallen mouse impaled on its thorns, face forever frozen in fear in death. A bird flitted down, alighting carefully on the vine next to it. When it noticed him, it froze. Crouching low, it flicked its beak between him and its prey, all innocent surprise – oh my, how did this happen? Axel scowled at it, unimpressed.

Don’t give me that, you know what you were doing.

Another rustle, further away, caught his attention. He snapped his head to the side, tracking it, as the bird startled and flew away, kill wasted. Axel’s eyes caught on something bigger stalking towards him, fangs flashing in the dying light. Right, time to go. He doubted the girls were here, anyways.

Finally – finally – he found them. Or he over-heard rumor of them, a couple kids in a walking bathtub giggling gleefully about two girls in a lab, and their plans to play a prank on them. Axel made his way through town, knocking briskly on the door. When the man in the wheelchair opened the door, he pulled on his most charming smile.

“Hello, I’m looking for two girls that might have come through. Are they here?”

“Hm? Oh, the girls that Sally brought home? Here to pick them up, are you? Good, good. Don’t need any distractions here,” the doctor mumbled, wheeling out of the way and waving at a set or rickety stairs in the back, “Just up there, make it quick.”

Axel climbed the stairs quickly. He could hear voices murmuring behind the door, coming to an abrupt halt when he knocked. After a moment, the door creaked open hesitantly, a woman made of patch-work parts peering up at him.

“I’m looking for –“ There was a loud clattering, then a slamming sound, walls shuddering. He pushed past the lady, ignoring her startled cry as she slammed into the wall and rushing into the next room. A chair had been upturned, falling from the table, obviously done up for tea, and the window shutters were swinging. Three long strides brought him to the window, where he caught two figures disappearing into the street below.

Axel leaped, landing heavily on the ground before sprinting after them. They turned the corner, and he followed, catching a flash of pink disappearing into a portal. He lunged, falling through right as it winked out of existence behind him. Scrambling forward, he managed to catch the exit rift before it closed fully, tearing it back open and stepping through into a cool, damp cave.

Axel chased after the girls, following the echoing sound of footsteps through the caves and across narrow ledges. Finally, he spotted two shadows cast on the walls, unmoving. Looks like they had reached a dead end. Slowing his pace to a casual saunter, he took a moment to regain his breath before striding forward.

“There you are, Kairi!” he called tauntingly, turning the corner, “Thought you could – Naminé?!”

Oh. What was it he said earlier? Like looking at identical twins? With the hair tucked away like that, the outfits switched, it was impossible to tell the difference.

Clever, clever little witch.

“Kairi?” And, of course, the second figure wasn’t Kairi, but the Keyblade wielder himself. Blue eyes met his and Axel’s heart stopped, breath catching as he couldn’t help but lean in because oh, oh, he missed that look, that face, but –

The moment broke, that expression twisting to something unfamiliar, wrong, as the hero whipped back to Naminé, who only smiled slyly, “I’ll just leave Axel to you. Okay, Sora?”

“You - !” Axel jerked forward as she summoned a corridor around her. This could’ve been the perfect chance, but without the Princess of Heart it was too risky. He needed to get the Princess, he needed to follow Naminé, he –

Sora stepped in front of him, dark, familiar wings spread wide, catching in the light. He barely noticed the portal snapping closed, too caught up in the tearing, ripping, pounding of his heart, Roxas, Roxas, Roxas, because how dare he, those wings didn’t belong to him, the usurper.

“Fine,” he snarled, summoning his chakrams with a pillar of flames, letting his wings explode out, screaming-bleeding-aching, “You want a fight? Then let’s dance.”

He didn’t give the hero a moment to prepare, flooding the arena with fire and slamming into him, again and again, the burning in his blood screaming. He couldn’t kill him, he needed him alive to get Roxas out, but the longer he had to look at that face the more he wanted to scream.

At some point the hero’s irritating friends joined the fight, and he had to start dodging the slam of a shield and bursts of magic. As he bore down on the hero, he felt a burst of chill approaching from behind. He landed sloppily, pivoting and flinging up a gout of flame to deflect. The two collided in a burst of steam, a rush of water flying through the mist to ram across his face like a wall, flames guttering out around him.

He spluttered as his hair plastered itself against his head, his neck, spilling into his eyes as the room descended into sudden silence. As he wiped the water from his face, wrinkling his nose against the burn and sting in his nose, there was a snort, then a sudden peal of laughter, and Axel couldn’t breathe.

He knew that sound, that voice. He watched, heart squeezing, eyes burning, as blue eyes peered up at him before slipping shut, nose wrinkling as tears of laughter beaded against squished cheeks. It was too much, he tried to drag in a breath, but it hitched, shuttered, everything aching as his wings drip-drip-dripped feathers, drooping behind him.

Something within him tightened, released. He really was there. Roxas was still in there, he hadn’t disappeared, a fact he wasn’t even sure of until now, though he wouldn’t admit it to himself.

“You – “ he started, before his throat tightened, choking him. He closed his eyes, so, so tired, and turned away, “I’ve wasted enough time here – it’s not like I can finish this without her. Roxas, Sora… I’ll see you later.”

With a wave of his hand, Darkness swallowed him.

He moved through the Darkness mindlessly, cutting a path with no real idea of where he was going. When his feet landed, soft sunlight fell across his face, wind whispering along his cheek as the horizon stretched out before him. Behind him, the large hands of a clock tick-tick-ticked away.

Axel collapsed into his seat, feat dangling over the drop, the spot beside him horribly silent. When he set out to get Roxas back, he didn’t think it would be this hard. Kidnap one kid, stab another, get his Flight-mate back in time for dinner. But no, it had all gone wrong.

How did this happen?

He buried his face in his hands, tangling his fingers in his hair as he breathed through the aching of his chest, the tightening of his throat. He couldn’t stop. He had to get Roxas back, he wouldn’t let them win. There had to be a way.

He leaned heavily on his knees, watching the streets below as the sun drifted its way through the skies. The eb-and-flow of the crowds, passengers coming and going, was familiar, comforting. The distant market area buzzed with activity, an amorphous crowd milling about. Every now and then, a loud cheer would ring out from the sandlot, muted by distance. Someone must have started up an impromptu tournament.

Eventually, his eyes caught on three kids coming up the steps to the tram square below, a group of friends Roxas liked to watch. Two more kids followed behind them. When he could make them out, he froze. It couldn’t be that easy.

But it was. Kairi, and Naminé, following right behind them. An impossible coincidence, delivered right into his lap.

A wave of his hand, and he fell back through a corridor to step into the plaza below. Most didn’t notice him, too caught up in the conversation, but he saw the way Naminé stiffened, turning to meet his stare over her shoulder.

She was pale – paler than he’d ever seen, the sun turning her skin nearly translucent, sickly purple spreading beneath her skin like a bruise. The same tint had spread through her hair, blending with the blonde to turn it a near-desaturated gray. She’d traded clothes back with Kairi, and her dingy red hood wasn’t doing her any favors. The way she was going, there was no way she’d be able to run forever.

“Naminé, you don’t look so good. All that time in the Darkness finally catching up to you?”

Kairi turned with a gasp, flinching back and setting the other kids on high alert, rallying around her.

“Who’s this guy? You know him, Kairi?” the blonde asked, glaring up at him.

“He’s the guy I’ve been running from, the one that tried to trick me into going with him.”

Axel sighed, “Really, so dramatic. It wasn’t a trick – I said I’d take you to see Sora, and I meant it. I still do.”

“And use me to hurt Sora? No!”

“Axel, please,” Naminé cut in, stepping between him and the others, “This has to end.”

“You’re right, it does,” Axel asked, “And it will end with Roxas back here with me, just like he’s supposed to be.”

Naminé sighed, eyes soft, pitying, “Roxas was never supposed to exist at all.”

“Well, neither were you, but I don’t see you joining hands with your Somebody and disappearing into the light,” Axel snapped. Hypocrites, all of them. Naminé flinched back, Kairi cutting her a sharp look of confusion, and he tilted his head, delicious realization cutting through him, “Oh, didn’t she tell you? Well, I guess I’ll let you in on the secret, then. See, Naminé’ here is a Nobody, too.”

“Naminé?”

“I – it’s different,” Naminé protested.

“Well, I’ll give her that,” Axel said, “Not sure it’s better though. But now I’m wondering what else she didn’t tell you. Like that she’s the reason Sora was missing for a year.”

“Wh-what?”

Axel watched as they turned in on themselves, Kairi flinching back from Naminé’s outstretched hand, hurt growing on the Nobody’s face. It was all the opening he needed. He lunged forward, sending Naminé slumping to the ground with a single strike to the neck. A twist, and he gained a tight hold on Kairi’s arm, dragging her in.

Finally.

“Hey! Let go of her!”

The kids the girls were with lunged forward in a pathetic attempt to protect her. So easy to deflect – a side-step here, an extended leg there, the swing of an elbow – it was just sad to watch. The Princess continued struggling against his grip, shrieking in protest. This would be so much easier if she would just shut up and calm down.

No matter. He summoned a corridor, and they were off.

He settled in back at Hollow Bastion.

It went like this: While he didn’t pay too much attention, drowning in rage as he was, Axel had noticed on his last visit that there was an inordinate amount of heartless in the world. Something like that was bound to draw in the Keyblade wielder, eventually. After dragging her away from the center of the budding civilization, he found an abandoned house, common enough in the wreckage, and threw her inside, instructing a group of twitching dusks to circle around her.

“Can’t have you escaping again; you understand,” he said.

“I understand that you’re crazy,” she snapped, “There’s no way you’ll get away with this!”

“Trust me, I’ve gotten away with much worse.”

He watched as one of the dusks twisted close and she shied back briefly before rallying, snarling up at him, “Even if you could defeat Sora, even if Riku didn’t stop you, you took us to a city! You think people won’t notice you kidnapping me?”

“People barely lived in this part of town before, they’re definitely not going to think of fixing it up any time soon. No one will see,” he rolled his eyes. That seemed to distract her, brow furrowing as the frustration banked.

“You,” she started, measuring the words out, “You’re from here?”

He didn’t like the way she was eyeing him consideringly. He moved to the window, giving a light shrug, peering out distractedly, “Ah. Something like that.”

“Oh,” she said. He wasn’t sure what about that caught her attention, but at least it made her be quiet.

“I think… I am, too.”

Or not. He swallowed down a sigh, staring pointedly out the window. Maybe if he just if he just ignored her? She started up again, and this time he couldn’t contain his sigh of frustration.

“I don’t remember much, before the Destiny Islands, but something about this place is familiar. Especially when I look at the Castle,” she trailed off for a moment, and he could hear her shifting, “It scares me. The castle… screams?”

She hesitated for a moment, brow winkling, before shaking her head, “That can’t be right, I must be misremembering it. My memories of that time are really fuzzy.”

“Hah,” the wry laugh dropped from him without consent, bitterness curling up in his heart, “No, you got that one right.”

He regretted it immediately, feeling her attention heavy on his shoulders, “What do you mean?”

He ignored her. Right, no talking to the prisoner – it just encouraged her. He wouldn’t be making that mistake again. She still pressed, for a little bit, but eventually she seemed to get the message, descending into blessed silence.

Hours later, as the sun tilted into afternoon sunlight, Kairi spoke up again.

“What was he like?”

“Hm?”

“Your Flight-mate – the one you want to bring back. What was he like?”

It hit with a pang, her acknowledgement of their relationship, and Axel blinked to full awareness, turning to her in confusion, “Why do you ask?”

“You’re trying to turn Sora into a heartless to get him back. Can’t I be curious about the guy you’re willing to go so far for?”

“You got me there,” he sighed, “What do you wanna know?”

“Well… how did you meet?”

Axel snorted in amusement, “I got assigned to baby-sit him.”

“What?”

“Look, because of Sora’s whole – weirdness, when we picked Roxas up, he didn’t know anything. Left to his own devices he probably would have walked into a wall, so Saïx had me put the kid through his paces. Honestly, I’d almost given up him, but…”

“But?” Kairi asked, eyes trained on him, and he couldn’t help the smile tugging at him, the small flicker of warmth in his chest.

“He suddenly revealed a sense of humor. It was a pretty basic joke, admittedly, but with how dry it was, it just came out of nowhere! Made me curious.”

It was strange, now, to think of those early days. He could almost remember – empty eyes, vacant expression – but then it was overwritten with bright grins and warm stares and the soft comfort in fading sunlight, laughter in the air.

“Seriously, you’d never think it of him. Roxas was so good, cared so much – more than should be possible for a Nobody – but he could turn around and be downright mean sometimes, the brat. I remember this one time, here I am just casually discussing our co-workers, and the two of them just start absolutely dragging Demyx out of nowhere and –“

“The two of them?” Kairi cut in, bright, curious eyes, and he jerked to a halt, choking on his next breath, “You mean, your third? Where are they?”

“I mean – the two of us. She – he –” Axel cut off, a sharp pain cutting through his head, his heart.

“Axel?”

Axel waved a hand, breathing through the spikes as the pain faded to leave an ache in his chest, a pounding in his temple. Stars, but he missed him.

Them?

“We were friends,” he continued gruffly, “We met up, and laughed, and talked about our days. We cared about each other. Normal stuff, I don’t know what you want me to say.”

Kairi stirred, seemingly dissatisfied, but thankfully thought better of asking again. Axel let himself slip away, time loosing meaning as he fell into the thrall of his memories.

“You said you’re from here,” Kairi asked later, as day slipped into night, “How’d you end up with the Organization?”

She really wasn’t going to stop, was she? Well, at least it passed the time.

“Half the Organization’s from here, actually, it would be more of a surprise if I didn’t end up with them,” he replied, straightening up and wincing as his body protested.

“From here? That many?”

Axel smiled wryly, hands spread wide, “Yeah, this was ground zero. The castle, specifically, your memories were spot on there.”

“What were you doing in the castle?”

“We worked there.”

“Really? Even though you knew it was scary?”

“Well, that was why, actually, we,” Axel paused, the memory forming slowly, settling heavy in his chest. He didn’t like thinking on it, spent years without bringing up their original goal, their failed plan, but these days it felt like it haunted him.

“There was a girl, trapped in the castle,” he said, barely more than a whisper, words bubbling up slowly from the deep well of memories he’d long pushed down, down, down, “We… wanted to save her.”

Swallowing, he looked back at Kairi, huddled against the wall and scruffy from weeks of running. Thin beams of light fell on her from the window, illuminating the ring of bruises around her arm where he’d dragged her from Twilight Town. Wary, watery blue eyes watched him from beneath her fringe, curious, determined, even as fear lingered.

What have we become, he’d thought of Saïx, once, of his friend’s focus on capturing Naminé, of his own actions at Castle Oblivion, of Saïx’s treatment of- of –

Axel slumped against the wall, eyes slipping closed as he sighed, deep and long. What have I become, he wondered, the dissonance cracking open in his mind like a jagged wound, dripping down to his bleeding heart.

Hypocrites, every one of us.

“I just want to save him, you know” he said, unable to meet her eyes, words spilling out, “After everything, after everyone I’ve lost, I just want to be able to keep him, to not lose Roxas, too. I couldn’t bare it.”

“You don’t want to forget about him,” Kairi said slowly, picking the words out carefully, “You can’t.”

Head low, he sketched his gaze to the side, and his breath caught. She stared at him with wide eyes, sympathy and kindness falling off her as she uncurled slightly, hand hovering like it wanted to reach out, and stars, these kids. Too good, all of them.

He scrubbed his hand over his face, gritting his teeth as something bitter and vicious thrashed in his chest, breath hitching, “Everyone was so ready to throw him away, like he meant nothing. Just a tool or a – a missing part. I’m the only person that cares, if I give up, if I stop trying, then – “

He hissed in frustration, giving the wall a sharp kick before stalking over to the window, leaning on it heavily. What had he become, but also – how could he stop?

“I have to get him back,” he said, explained, begged her to understand, “I have to. And look, it’s not like Sora even has to stay a heartless! You got him back before, didn’t you? Whatever you did before, I’m not going to stop you from doing it again. Everyone gets what they want! Isn’t that better?”

“Is it?” she challenged, curling back up. He turned away, so he didn’t have to see the way her eyes looked so sad.

Kairi slept through the night – fitfully, tossing and turning, but quiet, not asking any more biting, clawing questions. Axel sat, back pressed against the wall as he sought to find that void in his mind where time and the world slipped away, unable to escape as memories hunted him.

When morning light slipped in, Axel came back to awareness to a low grumble. He paused, and a moment later it happened again, centered around the now-awake Kairi.

“What was that?”

“I’m hungry,” she snapped, brushing her hair back and tugging through the snarls, “I haven’t eaten since you kidnapped me yesterday.”

“Hungry. Right,” he said, blinking slowly, “You need to eat, when you’re a Somebody.”

“You don’t?” she asked, incredulous, and he shrugged.

“I mean, I can. It’s nice. But I’m not going to die without it.”

“That’s – “ Kairi’s scowled, nose wrinkling, “Well, I will. And I’m hungry.”

That was how Axel found himself going grocery shopping for the first time in years.

It went like this: He tied Kairi up, before he went. The dusks were nice and all, but at this point he wouldn’t put it past her to get past them, without him there to keep her in line. Satisfied she wouldn’t escape during the time it took to run his errand, he set out.

He made it to the shops just as they opened, the streets thankfully empty. The last thing he needed was to be spotted by any locals in-the-know and detained. There was no telling how long his luck would last, though, so he needed to make this quick.

He found himself baffled as he browsed the shelf – what did he even get? Bread seemed safe, he remembered that from being a kid. Sandwiches? Peanut butter and jelly, that was it, he thought, shrugging off the nagging memories, two kids barreling into a bright kitchen, warm smiles greeting them. If she was hungry, she was probably thirsty, too, so he knocked a package of water bottles into the basket.

There was a freezer, on the way to the front, familiar pale blue bars inside. McDuck Ice Cream – Returning Flavor! The sign proclaimed, and it – he shouldn’t – they weren’t –

He added the ice cream to his basket, hurrying to the front and checking out quickly

Shopping done, Axel paused on the steps of the shop, shuffling through the bag as he passed a habitual eye over the street. The morning crowds were spilling out, now, people hustling to start their day. His eyes skimmed over a shock of dark blue hair ducking at the edge of the crowd and he did a double-take, heart stopping.

Zexion?

No. Impossible. But – he stepped into an alley, through a dark corridor, into the side street he’d seen the figure disappear into. Nothing, no one.

Of course. Of course not. Zexion was dead, Axel had –

A lot had happened, at Castle Oblivion. There was the whole thing with Naminé and the Replica, of course, the way they orbited each other, their inevitable tragedy. When he thought on those weeks with what might be regret, later, they were usually what came to mind. The other Organization members, they were just a job, but –

Vexen was the only one he killed with his own hands, and he couldn’t really feel bad about it, even now. He was a brilliant mind, the lead scientist, second only to Ansem the Wise and Xemnas’ – Xehanort’s – magnetic charisma. He was the genius behind the machines that cracked open their hearts. He was the main reason they ended up like this.

Marluxia, Larxene, well, they really were traitors. Ignore the sting of their origins, his first knife in their back, and they really shouldn’t have expected they would get away with it.

Lexaeus he had no hand in at all.

But Zexion, that, well –

The thing was, Zexion, Ienzo, was young. Younger than him and Isa, even, and they had just been children trying to play hero, when everything fell apart. They had been almost-friends, once, the three kids underfoot as the adults worked. Then they lost their hearts, and Axel couldn’t even keep his first friendship alive, let alone –

The thing was, the others deserved what came for them, under a certain light, but if anyone could have been considered innocent in the catastrophe that was the Organization, it would have been Zexion.

Axel killed him anyways.

He leaned heavily against the near-by wall, hand pressed across his face. Zexion, he – no matter how Axel tried, he couldn’t quite remember him clearly, how he used to look. Every attempt was over-written with the last time he’d seen him, plastered to the wall in terror, dark hand around this throat, eyes forever frozen wide in death.

Sorry, Zexion. You just know too much.

It wasn’t even part of his orders – from Xemnas or Saïx. Saïx might have appreciated It, if he read between the lines, twisted his head just right, but there was no way to know, not when his old friend never told him anything. A desperate effort to control the board, hold all the cards, to get Saïx to just –

And it didn’t even matter; everything fell apart anyways. His stomach turned.

How did this happen?

He drew in a long, deep breath, picked up his bag, and continued on.

When Axel opened the door to his temporary hideout, he found two girls and no dusks.

Kairi and Naminé froze, staring at him with wide eyes. The Nobody was behind her Somebody, working at the knots holding Kairi in place.

He should be frustrated, angry. He knew he should be mad that she was getting in his way again, but when he reached for the darkness that had carried him this far, he found only emptiness. Where there should be something, nothing – a situation he was unfortunately familiar with.

“Naminé,” he said, dropping the groceries and reaching over to pull her away, “How nice of you to drop in.”

He tied her up as well, ignoring her protests. Left the hands free, though. If he was feeding one of them he might as well feed the other; even if she summoned a corridor, it’s not like she could go through it if she couldn’t move.

“Food,” he said blankly, taking out the bread, the toppings, the ice cream, “Sandwiches, water.”

The two girls stared as he placed all the ingredients in front of them.

“Axel,” Kairi said slowly, “How are we supposed to spread the peanut butter.”

He stopped, squinting down at the jars. Right. Right, you needed a knife, didn’t you? Or a spoon. Breathing in sharply through his nose, he pressed at his temple and counted down slowly, “Just bread then.”

They ate in silence, Naminé glaring at him as Kairi watched with an odd look on her face. When they were done, he passed out the ice cream, ignoring the way Kairi’s face twisted even further.

“Why’d you get three of them?” she asked.

“What?” he muttered, pretending to be absorbed in unwrapping his treat.

“You didn’t know I would be here,” Naminé backed her Somebody up, thoughtfully sounding out her words, “Why did you buy three bars?”

“I – what? I don’t know, I just -” he cut off, head snapping to the side.

“Axel – “ Kairi protested.

“Shh.”

“But -!”

“Quiet!” He insisted, staring at the door. There was something – not quite a sound, more a feeling. Someone was here. He moved carefully, burning through the ropes holding Naminé and grabbing her by the hood to guide her closer to Kairi.

“Going somewhere?”

Ah. Shit. Axel turned to his once-friend. The blue-haired nobody’s face was calm, serene almost, except for the tick at the corner of his jaw – Saïx was pissed.

“Saïx.”

“Axel,” he said, eyes – once deep blue as an ocean, now pale, pale, pale, empty and chilling – trailing over the room, the two girls held captive, “You have been busy. But I’m afraid the Organization can’t allow you to continue with your plans.”

Axel tilted his head, all nonchalance, “Plans? I don’t you know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t you? You forget: the Organization has ears everywhere.” Dusks seeped from the floor, surrounding Saïx and twitching in agitation.

“Ah.” Little snitches.

“Traitors are to be eliminated. Normally, that would be your job, but,” Saïx tilted his head, “Here we are.”

“Here we are,” Axel agreed, grin more a bearing of teeth than a smile.

“Still, perhaps all is not lost. The Princess of Heart, and the missing Witch; they could certainly be of use to us,” Saïx said, “Come with me. There will have to be punishment for your… indiscretion, but your betrayal might, eventually, be forgiven.”

“That’s nice, but I’m not really looking to return to my old position. I’ve found I’m better off on my own.”

Saïx’s jaw twitched, the tiniest flinch, before the corners of his eyes tightened. He tilted his chin up, eyes blazing, “Then you choose destruction.”

Right. Time to go.

Axel swept a hand out, summoning first a wall of flame, then a corridor. Sparks flew as Saïx summoned his weapon and leapt through the flames. Burning through the rope around Kairi, Axel grabbed her hood and tightened his grip on Naminé, shoving both girls through the rift before leaping after them.

Close it close it close it close it. The rip slowly slipped shut behind them as he clawed forward to make an exit. The rift shuddered, their entrance tearing open once more as Saïx chased after them. Someone shrieked as the world tumbled, Saïx forced his way in, Naminé and Axel both blindly ripping an opening, too many holes in the same place, the realm-between wearing thin.

The exit opened like a black hole, sending him tumbling out amidst screams, another body crashing to the ground beside him. He levered himself up, ready to face off against Saïx, only to catch a flash of red hair. Kairi – she must have gotten separated from Naminé, fell through his corridor instead.

For a moment their eyes met in shock, before snapping around to track at a crashing sound in the distance. It was dark out, despite it being morning where they just left. If he squinted, he could just barely see movement coming through the trees. A flash of a long blade, and several long moments, then trees toppled, the shadow moving ever closer.

He cursed, scrambling to his feet and pulling Kairi up with him, shoving her behind him as Saïx entered the clearing. He paused, taking in their rumpled state.

“I see Naminé has escaped. No matter, now that we have her trail, we’ll find her soon enough. The Princess will be more than enough, for now,” Saïx met Axel’s eyes, hand reaching out, “Give me the girl, Axel, and I’ll let you survive.”

“Give her to you? What for?” Axel stalled, letting his eyes trail absently over the area, “I’ve seen the state of Kingdom Hearts, it looks like all your plans are coming to fruition soon. If the hero’s doing so well, what do you need her for?”

“It’s true, the Keyblade wielder is freeing hearts at a phenomenal rate, but it never hurts to have insurance. At any rate, we can’t have her running around, upsetting the playing field. Better she be in our hands.”

Axel watched him, throat tight. Saïx’s face was cold, empty – pieces on a chessboard, that was all he really saw anymore. Was he displeased Axel left because of the failure of their old promise, or because he lost his Knight from the board? Did he care at all?

“How did this happen, Saïx?” he asked, begged, pleaded, “How did we go from wanting to rescue a girl to locking them in towers?”

Saïx raised one thin brow, “You’re the one who kidnapped the Princess.”

“I was going to give her back. Somehow, I doubt you have the same intentions with her – or with Naminé, for that matter.”

“You certainly didn’t have these complaints when you assisted with keeping the Witch captive at Castle Oblivion.”

“Well, maybe I did,” Axel snapped, “But I was following your orders.”

Saïx scoffed, “Are you trying to pin your choices on me? Don’t kid yourself; you knew what you were doing.”

Axel flinched. He wanted to protest, to scream that this was never what he wanted, but –

“Well,” he said, chest heavy, “You always did say I was a slow learner. But I get there eventually.”

Saïx’s eyes narrowed, “Don’t be foolish; there’s nowhere to run. Now that we know where you are, we’ve flooded the corridors with nobodies with explicit orders to take you down. They’re impassible to you.”

“Then I’ll just have to get creative. Isn’t that what I do best?”

Axel snapped his fingers, flames spring up under his control – and then he let them go. Immediately, they roared, igniting the foliage all around them, a forest fire spreading in the space of heartbeats. Twisting, he grabbed Kairi’s wrist, pulling her along as he darted further into the forest. He could feel her stumbling, trying to keep up with his long-legged pace, but they didn’t have time to slow down.

When he judged the smoke a good enough distance away, he pulled her around into the shadow of a large rock formation, crouching down as he caught his breath, trying to plan his next move. Kairi shivered where he gripped her shoulders. She looked up at him, eyes wide and terrified, flinching down as a roar and a loud crack echoed from the direction they’d come from.

Please, Axel. You’ve got to help me.

Dragging in a deep breath through the spike of pain in his head, he rummaged through his pockets till his hand hit metal.

“Here,” he said, thrusting the weapon into her hands, “that won’t distract him for long.”

“What? What is this?”

He couldn’t stop to think about it. Couldn’t hesitate, or he’d flinch, second guess. Instead, he summoned his chakrams, tracking the sounds of Saïx’s approach, answering mindlessly.

“It’s – well, it’s what I was going to use to turn Sora into a heartless. Makes a clean split between the heart and the body. Not sure what it will do too a Nobody, but hey, I figure at the least it’s sharp. Worst comes to worse, you should still be able to stab someone with it. Keep running. I’ll hold him off, best I can.”

“Why are you –“ she protested, her words cut off as Saïx smashed through the tree-line, sending wood-chips flying as he advanced, eyes blazing with the power of the moon.

“Don’t ask, just go, now!” he snapped, launching forward to block Saïx’s forward sweep with a chakram.

Maybe she hesitated, maybe she left immediately – Axel couldn’t tell, too consumed with keeping up with Saïx’s relentless attack. He hadn’t seen Saïx in action in years, but evidently, he hadn’t let himself get rusty. His claymore dug gouges in the earth, toppled trees at a glancing blow. Axel couldn’t afford to let a single one land. He fell into the dance, all flash and distraction, darting in for a critical blow whenever possible, but he could feel himself slowing.

He was so tired.

He wasn’t fast enough, and Saïx’s next sweep took out a knee, sending him stumbling into retreat. Saïx approached slowly, menacingly.

“I spoke to the Keyblade wielder,” he said, “He said that you had wings.”

“Did he now?” Axel drawled.

“Is it true?”

Axel huffed, struggling back to his feet, “I don’t see how it’s any of your business.”

Saïx flinched, whole body tensing, finally, finally a break in his constant composure. Victory sat cold and hollow in Axel’s chest.

“Fine. If you won’t tell me, I’ll just have to find out myself.”

What?

Saïx blurred forward, three fast strikes ruining Axel’s regained footing, before a harsh kick sent him reeling back, where his foot met nothing but air. He cursed himself as the wind whistled past him - he lost track of the environment, didn’t see the edge of the cliff, stupid, stupid. He couldn’t afford to take this fall.

Stars, this was going to hurt.

He snapped his wings out, breathing through the pain of aching-broken-missyou. It wasn’t a graceful recovery, incomplete wings sending him spiraling, unable to catch air, but it was enough that when he hit ground it only knocked the wind out of him, rather than breaking bones. He barely managed to get his feet back under him before Saïx was stepping out of a wave of darkness.

“So, it is true,” he said softly, “Your betrayal is truly complete. Why? I don’t understand; you threw away what was real to chase after illusions and ghosts.”

“Funny,” Axel coughed, “That’s not how I would put it.”

“And how would you put it?”

Axel laughed bitterly, sending his once-friend an empty, feral grin, “I shed the ghosts of my past to claim what was real.”

In the dark, he watched as the claymore trembled before stilling, serenity falling across Saïx like an avalanche, “Then you are a fool. And soon you will be nothing.”

A glow began building around Saïx, soft, at first, but growing brighter and brighter, illuminating his eyes and - oh. Oh, it was dark out.

The moon was up.

Shit.

Saïx went super-nova, aura pulsing out with a violent roar as gleaming yellow eclipsed his eyes. In the next moment he flashed forward, swinging wildly against Axel’s desperate block, sending him skidding back. The next blow made him stumble, the next broke his guard, opening him to a sweeping strike to the side. The pain sent him reeling, and he barely managed to stop the next swing from caving in his face, instead sending him flying into a near-by tree, the truck splintering with the force of it.

He coughed as he hit the ground, back and chest and lungs aching as he desperately tried to draw in breath, Saïx slowly advancing in a blaze of fury. Axel staggered to his feet, feeling at the wound in his side – bleeding openly, not good – and he –

Ran.

Saïx pursued relentlessly, cutting him off at every turn. It was all Axel could do to dodge, and he wasn’t always successful. Finally, in a last-ditch effort, he summoned a gout of flame on the surrounding plant life, the blistering heat singeing his skin but creating a wall of smoke that granted him just a bit of space, a bit of time to keep running, to get away.

His vision was fading in and out, every movement purely will and instinct as his strength faded. Small hands brushed his arm, pulling him up, pulling him along. He blinked the shadows and blood from his eyes – and when did he get a head-wound? – trying to force his vision to focus on the girl guiding him along. No, no – what was she doing here? He gave a wordless protest, tugging fruitlessly against her grip. Saïx was on a warpath, he had to keep her safe, he had to, he couldn’t let them take her again.

He was so tired.

“Again?” the voice buzzed against his ears, blurry, familiar, “I don’t - Just hang on, we’ll get you out of here.”

“The one time I wanted you to run,” he slurred, words dripping from him thoughtlessly, dredged up from some unseen well, “This had to be the one time you didn’t?”

“What, you wanted me to leave you to him?”

He sighed fondly, sadly. It was so her, but now look where they were, dirty and damaged, no way out. He twisted his head to look at her, her face blurring in and out of focus. There was red in her hair. He reached up to card his fingers through the strands, looking for the tangle of blood, trying to get it out – strange, why was it so long? “Why you gotta give me so much trouble?”

“Axel?” her voice was high, tremulous, confused. Right, that wasn’t fair. This was his fault, wasn’t it? Why they were so angry, why they left, this was all on him.

“Sorry,” he breathed, because she had to know, she had to, “Wanted to protect you, hold it off, just a bit longer. Thought I could fix it. Should’ve just… told you. Sorry, ‘m sorry.”

He stumbled, tumbling toward the ground before his fall was stopped by a pair of trembling arms. She pushed up under him, trying to take his weight – she was always so small, they both were. All that brilliance in a tiny package. Still, he did his best to stumble forward, one foot in front of the other. Behind them he could hear the crashing sound of Saïx’s claymore smashing through the undergrowth, screams echoing with berserker rage. He was catching up to them.

Axel’s foot slipped on the next step, and his tumbling figure took them both to the floor. Her sharp yelp pierced his ears, even more than the sudden stabbing in his side, wound ripping wider. Axel blinked dazedly, but the spots in his vision refused to clear. There was a rushing sound in his ears, drowning out all else. A tall, dark figure stormed into the clearing, looming over the small light. She backed away but could do nothing to stall his advance. The tall figure reached down, grabbing the light and dragging her to her feet.

He made – a word, a noise, he wasn’t sure, couldn’t hear past the ringing in his ears. Blazing yellow eyes snapped to him, searing him through.

He couldn’t take her, he wanted to destroy her, always had, what did he mean, why –

A sword point hovered in front of his face. It shook.

“Do not get in our way again.”

The dark figure turned, summoning a path of shadows, and he wheezed, clawing at the dirt, trying to reach her. No, no, not again, he couldn’t lose her again. He reached out with a shaking hand, to no avail. They were consumed by a well of darkness, and soon the black found him as well.

Axel lost Kairi, and he knew he had to tell Sora.

It went like this: he woke in ashes, surrounded by the remains of a charred forest, embers still flickering beneath the blackened crust.

It was over, he realized. Saïx would take Kairi to the World that Never Was, and there was no way he could get past all of the Organization to retrieve her. Even if he could, he’d given Kairi the weapon, the one thing that would ensure Roxas returned correctly, and as much as it ached, opened a howling pit inside him, as much as he hated it, he –

Couldn’t quite regret it. Not truly.

Coughing weakly, he staggered to his feet, wearily opening a corridor. The passage was crawling with Nobodies which sprung into aggression at the sight of him, tearing at him until he managed to rip open an exit and stumble through to the hide-away in Hollow Bastion. His plans may lie in ruin at his own hand, but the truth remained: Sora would return to Hollow Bastion, the growing horde of heartless ensured it.

Groaning, he sank to the ground, head tipped back against the wall. He patched his wounds, as best he could. He waited. Time slipped past, slow and thick, until the world rumbled. He stood. The hero should be here now.

He waited, watching the battle absently until the hero reached the end, a moment of quiet he could insert himself into. He explained the Organization’s plan, laying it out, shrugging, posturing, going through the motions.

Sora just wanted Kairi back, just wanted to save her.

That was something Axel couldn’t give him.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t – “ Power flared, the light of the moon blazing into existence. Shit.

He tried to move, to get out of the way, but everything hurt, he was so tired. Saïx’s claymore slammed into him with a loud crack.

Oh, that was a rib, he thought as he flew through the air, That’s not good.

He landed harshly, pain spiking through the fog in his mind, knocking the breath from his lungs. Gasping, he tried to push back up, but there was an awful scraping sensation in his chest, and he collapsed again, lungs seizing in a wracking cough.

Saïx’s gaze speared into him, iris and pupil lost in a solid wall of blazing golden condemnation. He snarled in return and slammed his hand into the ground, summoning a corridor beneath him. He made it short, just back to his abandoned hide-out, trying to avoid aggravating his ribs as the dusks snapped and snarled at his heels.

There, he collapsed, exhaustion taking him out at the knees. There. The hero knew now – maybe Axel didn’t finish explaining, but surely, he’d figure it out from there. That was enough.

He breathed, carefully cradling his ribs as he stared blankly ahead. The floor was cold against his cheek, dusk scratching against his skin. Sunlight filtered in through the corner where the ceiling had crumbled away. Dust-motes floated through the beams of light.

He should sleep. Get rest, recover before his next mission. Whatever that was. There was no Organization, and he’d abandoned his plan to get Roxas back, but he could, he could –

His breath hitched. He tried to drag in another breath, but his throat tightened, forcing the air out with a high-pitched whine. His eyes burned.

He could what? There was nothing. Roxas was gone, beyond his reach. Saïx fully intended to kill him, the final, rotted bridge between them burned away.

It was over.

He laughed, digging his hands into his hair. Of course, it was over. He’d killed it, slowly but surely. Unwilling to let go of his secrets, his control, driving Roxas away. And Saïx, stars, they’d been dead for years, hadn’t they, clinging to the dead husk of a memory.

He curled into himself, heart keening, bleeding feathers sprouting, folding around him. He was so tired.

He slept.

Time slipped, sun and shadows coming and going. Sometimes he slept, others he simply – drifted. He wasn’t sure how long he laid there before a rumbling sound distracted him. Blinking slowly, he let his eyes scan the room. The rumbling came again, and he brought his hand to his stomach, feeling vibration within.

Was he…hungry?

Stiffly, he sat up, staring at the door. He’d not been hungry, not since becoming a Nobody. How strange.

He should eat.

Pushing to his feet, he stepped out into the streets, squinting against the sunlight. He wandered blindly through the streets. There were shops, stores, plenty of options, but nothing pulled him in. The tint of the sky, the shimmer of lights falling from the clouds, once familiar to him, ached. He didn’t want to be here anymore.

Summoning a chakram, he opened a corridor, fighting against the horde until he could reach his exit. Soft, golden light greeted him, the clacking of the tram echoing down sloping streets. His feet took him down a well-tread path without thought, stopping in front of a familiar stall, the owner looking at him expectantly.

He flicked his hand up, three fingers at the ready, and had to quickly abort the gesture, fingers curling in to dig into his palm. He took a deep breath, cleared his throat.

“Just one.”

“Alright,” the lady answered cheerfully, reaching back into the cooler and grabbing an ice-cream bar, not stopping to ask for his flavor, “It’s been a while since you stopped by, I was getting worried. That friend of yours, too! How is he doing?”

“He’s –“ Axel swallowed. How could he answer? Roxas wasn’t dead, his heart still existed, but he couldn’t come back. “He’s gone.”

“Oh,” the shopkeeper stilled, searching his eyes, seeming to find something as her face dropped, eyes pinching, “Oh, I’m so sorry. He was such a good boy, always so polite. He didn’t deserve to die so young.”

His heart tumbled in his chest, anguish crawling up from his stomach to squeeze around his throat, “Yeah. Yeah, he was – “

He couldn’t do this. Rifling through he pockets, he pulled out some change, “Here.”

“No, no,” the shopkeeper pushed his hand back, holding it softly as she smiled at him sadly, “You take this one on the house. Take care of yourself.”

She squeezed his hand, a shadow of his grief mirrored back at him, and his eyes burned. He nodded, taking the ice cream and hurrying away.

A short walk later, he settled on the clock-tower, slowly making his way through his treat. The city bustled along beneath him, as unchanged as ever. He was leaning back, fiddling with the empty stick when a girl slipped from the darkness to sit next to him.

He glanced over, taking in the translucent nature of her hair, the sickly purple pallor to her skin, but said nothing. They sat in silence for several long minutes, watching the sunset.

“I talked to Kairi, before the Organization took her,” she said, “She said you tried to protect her.”

“Mm. Didn’t do a very good job of it, obviously.”

“Maybe. But you tried.”

“I tried,” Axel acknowledged.

“You gave up your one chance to get Roxas back. Why?”

Axel fiddled with the stick, tucking it inside his pocket beside another. Winner, ha. He lost everything.

“I don’t know; guess I just got tired of being the bad guy.”

She looked skeptical, but didn’t press, just looked back at the sunset.

“We did wrong by you. At Castle Oblivion,” Axel spat out, determinedly watching a tram on its winding path through the city, “We never should have kept you captive like that, or used the Rep – Hitoshi, the way we did. I’m sorry.”

Beside him, she drew in a long, shaking breath, letting it out slow. “I’m sorry, too. I needed to help Sora and Hitoshi, but… sacrificing one for the other, that wasn’t right.”

“No. But, whatever blame you have, it’s my fault as well,” he said, folding an arm over his knee, “You told me, didn’t you? They’d always find out the truth in the end. I didn’t listen, so sure I could avoid your fate. So sure I could fix it.”

“So, you’re giving up? On Roxas?”

“Never,” he snapped, instinctual and sharp, then sighed, “But I won’t kill Sora to do it, don’t worry. Roxas and Sora have done the impossible, existing at the same time before. I figure there must be another way out there, somewhere. I’ll find it, no matter how long it takes.”

“No matter how long it takes,” she echoed. They lapsed back into silence. Axel drew in a deep breath, then let it out, weight going with it. After a while, she stood, looking down at him, “I need your help.”

“Oh?”

Axel agreed to help her.

It went like this: Naminé and Riku wanted to get Kairi out of the Organization’s hands before Sora reached them, so they never had the chance to use her against him. Riku would be the distraction while Naminé performed the extraction, but they could use an extra hand.

“Someone who knows the place and can defend us if we run into any opposition,” she explained, leading him through a corridor. When they exited, Riku’s head snapped to the side, staring piercingly at Axel from beneath the shadows of the hood. Finally, he turned to look at Naminé.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yes,” Naminé said, “I trust him. Or, I trust Kairi’s view of him.”

“If it makes you feel better, it’s not like a could turn Sora into a heartless, anyways. I gave the tool I needed to do it to Kairi.”

“So why are you helping us? After everything we….” Riku trailed off.

“Well, I’ll admit, I still don’t like you very much,” Axel sighed, “But I guess one of us had to stop being a hypocrite, eventually. What I did to Kairi, it wasn’t right. I’d like to make it up to her; that’s all.”

Naminé had a point, about having someone who knew the lay of the land.

She would have pulled Kairi through at random, probably ending up right in one of the winding pathways. Instead, he pointed out a small tower, opposite the one that held Kairi, that was primarily used for storage. He also used his knowledge of Saïx’s habits to point Riku in his direction – that would work plenty as a distraction. Plan made, they set off, Riku for the top of the Castle and Axel and Naminé for the tower.

Axel made a path for them directly to a closet, watching Naminé carefully as he closed the corridor behind them.

“Hey,” he said, as she carefully steadied her breathing, “Maybe I should go grab her. I’m not sure how many more of those trips you can take.”

Naminé shook her head, “We need to be fast, and we can’t be sure she’ll trust you.”

She choked on a breath that wanted to be a cough, hunching over until it passed. Axel sighed, but shrugged, “Well, it’s your health.”

He leaned back against a stack of crates, watching as Naminé opened and stepped through a corridor, leaving the entrance in-tact. After a moment she returned, Kairi by her side. Naminé near collapsed as the corridor rippled closed, hand across her mouth as her skin tinted green. Kairi didn’t seem to notice, having frozen when she saw him, a strange mix of fear and relief crossing her face, “Axel?!”

“Ah, hey. Been a while,” Axel glanced away, digging a hand into his hair before turning to Naminé, “Alright, what’s the plan now?”

Naminé took a few long, deep breaths, then stood straight to face them both, “Now, we find Riku. And then, Sora.”

By silent agreement they set out on foot to find Riku. Axel didn’t think Naminé could take another trip through a corridor without succumbing to darkness, and Kairi didn’t seem interested in going through one either.

The Castle was a patchwork maze of corridors, completely nonsensical outside of the top few floors. It kept intruders like them confused and, Axel suspected, it made it easy for the Nobodies to wander aimlessly whenever their chests felt too empty, but their bodies needed to move.

Axel had lived there for going on a decade, however, and knew all the possible paths.

“Alright,” he said, “I sent Riku up to the Gray Room, but I’m not sure where he went from there. Our best bet is to head for the Hall of Empty Melodies and see if we can’t spot the commotion from there.”

“The Hall of Empty Melodies?” Kairi questioned, incredulous.

“Look, I didn’t name them. The Superior – ah, Xemnas, is just kind of… like that.”

He took the lead. Kairi followed at his heels, Naminé drifting nervously behind her. The princess’ eyes lingered on him heavily.

“What is it?” he snapped.

“Nothing, just,” Kairi hesitated, “I’m glad you survived.”

Well, now he just felt bad. “Ah, thanks.”

They continued walking, in silence except for their footsteps echoing down the long, empty halls. After turning another corner, Axel cleared his throat, “Look, about before… you know, with the kidnapping you, and stuff.”

“Mm?”

Axel hesitated, looking away from her curious gaze, “Sorry.”

Kairi blinked up at him in his peripheral vision. For a long moment she just watched, biting her lip, until finally she looked away with a toss of her hair, “Well, I suppose I can forgive you.”

“Yeah?” he huffed.

“But only this once, understand? You do it again and I’ll have to take you down myself.”

A laugh punched out of him in a startled breath, “Yeah, yeah, I – “

A flash of purple near the ceiling caught his eye. He slammed to a halt. Kairi stumbled into his side at the abrupt stop, Naminé nearly falling into her next. Wincing, a hand going up to cradle his ribs, he stared at the corner, but whatever it was had disappeared, leaving nothing but gray wall. Still, uneasiness made a home for itself in his stomach.

“Hey, we need to hurry,” he said, grabbing the two girls’ shoulder and urging them along.

“Axel?” Kairi questioned.

“I think we’ve been spotted, we gotta go.”

They hurried as much as they could, but they only made it two floors higher before they found their path blocked.

“Well, now, what do we have here?” Xigbar crooned, “Two birds flown the coop, and Saïx’s attack dog. You know, Axel, I was looking forward to you throwing one last tantrum, but this! Siding with the people that got rid of Roxas? Gotta admit, I never saw it coming.”

“Yeah, well, I would hate to get predictable,” Axel said, summoning his chakrams.

“Not gonna come quietly, huh?” Xigbar cocked ones of his guns, taking aim, “Hah. You’re a hundred years too early to be challenging me, number eight.”

No need to drag this out, then. Axel sent a chakram flashing forward, rushing in behind it and leaping through the rush of sparks that resulted when Xigbar shot the first projectile off course.

“Naminé, Kairi! Go! There’s an elevator one hallway over that will take you up, get going!”

“Oh, I don’t think so,” Xigbar said, turning to take aim where the girls were running off. Axel rushed in, throwing his chakrams into the stream of nobodies chasing after them before reaching up, snagging the barrel of the gun and forcing it upwards as the blast went off. He hissed, the heat of the blast burning even through his gloves. Sneering, Xigbar turned, slamming his head into Axel’s forehead then following up with an elbow to the nose, sending him reeling back.

Axel knew he wasn’t winning this one. Xigbar was number two for a reason, and part of that reason was he was terrifying when he wanted to be. Instead, he just needed to stall for long enough for the girls to lose their tail before making his own escape.

Unfortunately, that seemed easier said than done. He’d taken more than his fair share of hits recently, and it wasn’t doing him any favors. Stars, he just went to get ice cream – he should have bought a damn potion.

So, despite his best effort, Xigbar was running him in circles. Axel found himself panting in a ring of scorched earth, Xigbar watching him from the ceiling with an infuriating smirk on his face.

“Well, this has been fun. But I’ve got things to do, so why don’t we finish this off?”

There was a click, then the world illuminated with a barrage of flashes. The bolts landed close, each pinning Axel in more and more until he found himself completely trapped, limbs caught in a maze.

Xigbar flash-shifted down to stand over him, tapping his gun thoughtfully against his shoulder, “It would be easiest to just get rid of you, but standing orders out are to bring you in for Saïx to deal with. Who knew that block of ice could be so sentimental?”

Axel grit his teeth as Xigbar smirked, turning to disappear into a corridor, “Be a good boy and wait here, yeah?”

Getting trapped like that was humiliating. Axel prided himself on his ability to escape any situation, to slip out with people none the wiser, but here he was, pinned in completely.

Which only made it worse when Demyx of all people found him there.

“Whoa, what happened here? Did Xigbar find a – Axel?!”

“Demyx, hey!” Axel called, desperately trying to draw up a casual façade, but it was rather difficult when he was strung up like a marionette in a tangle of spikes, “What brings you here?”

“What, you didn’t notice all the chaos happening upstairs? I mean, I assume you’re involved, given,” Demyx poked at one of the blaster bolts, drawing back with hiss as it sizzled against his finger, “The Organization’s crumbling, man. I’m getting out of here!”

“Huh. Don’t suppose you could do me a solid before you make your escape? I’ll owe you one.”

He probably owed the guy more than that, given his own hand in Demyx becoming a part of the Organization, but he could deal with that in the future. Demyx hummed thoughtfully, “Hmm… I guess I can help you out, but I’m holding you to that favor. And don’t go telling the others I helped, either!”

“Deal,” Axel said, sighing in relief as Demyx summoned a group of water figures to tug the spikes out of place. He eyed the other thoughtfully, rolling his shoulder, “You know where you’re going?”

“Nah, not really – maybe I’ll go find a beach, spend my days with sun and sand! Just as long as it’s as far from here as possible.”

“Hm,” waving a hand, Axel ripped open a corridor back to Hollow Bastion, “Here. Not exactly a beach, but they’ve got a decent set of protections. If any of the Organization ends up back there, they’ll have bigger things to deal with than you.”

“Really? Sweet, thanks for the lift! And, uh, good luck with whatever you’re doing here. See ya!”

When he finally made it to the Hall, he found Saïx cornering Kairi. She stood strong in front of him, brandishing what looked suspiciously like a Keyblade, but the Nobody loomed tall above her.

Axel strode into the room, casual, hands loose, like it was just another day in the Gray Room, another time he had to divert Saïx’s attention, get him to stop harassing –

“Xigbar said you wanted to see me; I’m flattered,” he called, and Saïx’s gaze immediately snapped to him. Kairi was smart, taking the moment to run for it. Saïx tried to pursue, of course, but a flick of a chakram brought him up short, allowing the girl to reach Axel’s side.

“Where’s Naminé?” he asked Kairi, twisting his wrist to cut his connection to the weapon across the room, reforming it in his hand, “I can’t imagine she’d leave you alone with him.”

“She – “ Kairi cut herself off, hand pressed to her chest, to her heart, staring up at him with wide, watery eyes, “She disappeared.”

She disappeared? She – oh. Axel’s heart clenched. The pain blind-sided him. He really didn’t know her that well, in the end. They were enemies half the time. Still, he –

“You look sad. How pathetic,” Saïx said, “There’s no use in mourning that which does not exist.”

“Have you even been paying attention?” Axel snapped, “We’re capable of having wings. All that bull about not existing, about needing Kingdom Hearts – it was all garbage.”

“And look where it’s gotten you; I’ve never seen you so low. I’ll be doing you a favor, finishing you off.”

That was all the warning Axel got before Saïx was rushing in.

Axel wasn’t doing as well as he’d have liked. Kairi did her best to support him, but even with a magic weapon she had no experience, no practice, and Saïx has long-since mastered his blade. So, no, things weren’t going well for them.

In a perfect world, this would be the rematch where the protagonist – even Axel couldn’t pretend to be a hero – would win. Where he’d make his comeback and knock Saïx down, maybe convince him to stop being a complete asshole and they’d reconcile, or at least come to terms with what happened and move on. They’d all live happily ever after.

But that wasn’t their story, and that wasn’t their ending.

He’d forgotten how many hits he’d taken over the last few days – his side, his ribs, his leg. His magic was strained, and every move ached. He tried his best, but –

He was tired.

All it took was a single distraction. Sora called from above, Kairi replying, and he stopped paying attention. Just for a second. Just for a moment, he looked away from Saïx’s face, didn’t track his gaze, his attention. He pulled his guard back up, when his once-friend started moving again.

But he wasn’t heading for Axel.

“Kairi!” he shouted in warning, but she wasn’t trained, there was no way she could move fast enough, she -

Axel found himself moving without thought, wings spreading as he hurtled forward, a single beat giving him extra speed. There was barely enough time to intercept Saïx’s course. He tugged for his weapons, tried to get his arms to move. They collided.

He didn’t feel the pain, at first. There was just a ringing that resolved itself into a furious yell from above, a screaming, familiar voice. Between one blink and the next the wall in his sight became floor, small hands grasping at his coat, shaking him. He lolled his head to the side, blinking away the gray encroaching on his vision as a shadow fell over him. Saïx stood above, claymore raised, point down.

“Isa,” he breathed.

Axel watched, looking for any hesitation, any regret – any hint of blue oceans or even pale ice beyond the wall of yellow in his eyes.

There was nothing.

The sword dropped.

Light descended from above. It streaked down like a comet, barreling into Saïx, sending them tumbling across the floor. The hero came up growling, eyes glowing. Sleek dark feathers bristled above, blue sheen glimmering in the light of Kingdom hearts, a second set of brown feathers spread low and stabilizing, angled aggressively forward. He held a Key made of sharp points in shades of gray, while another blade, silvery and dipped in sunlight, hovered in vengeful circles around him.

Axel blinked, and the two blurred into motion. He could barely keep up as his vision swam, the two figures turning into bright streaks. Saïx swept across the floor, outlined in blazing aura. The Keyblade wielder met him deftly, sunlight blade striking viciously as he channeled magic through the other Key.

Ice formed above the wielder’s head with a shout as the silver Key parried away a blow. Saïx moved in even closer and the hero moved in a rush that made Axel’s head hurt, spinning tightly around the older boy to switch places, the ice above teetering then exploding, eating into Saïx. Axel’s breath hitched because he knew those moves, that magic –

Roxas.

Two hands shook him, a voice slowly coming into focus through the swimming in his ears.

“Axel. Axel, look at me. What do I do?”

He blinked. Kairi was staring down at him, eyes wide, “Axel?”

“Kai – “ His lungs squeezed, and he cut off in a harsh cough. He shifted, barely moved a muscle before stopping with a hiss, ow, that hurt. Instead, he carefully lifted one hand. He reached out to pat her head before stopping, arrested by the sight of the flickering shadow-flames burning along his hand. A glance to the side showed his wings smoldering beside him.

“Ah. Looks like your congratulations on surviving were a bit hasty.”

Kairi just shook her head. There was a large flash behind them, another yell – You’re done! – and then the clatter of footsteps before the hero collapsed at his side, Roxas’s eyes staring down at him as brown wings faded away.

“Axel! Are you okay?”

“Sora?” Kairi asked, voice wavering.

Roxas stiffened, glaring at her through Sora’s eyes. Now, that wouldn’t do. Axel shifted, tapping his fist against Roxas’s arm to get his attention.

“Hey, Roxas. I’ve been better.”

Roxas snapped his gaze back down, running a nervous hand over him and flinching back at the wispy, smoking edges.

“Cure,” he commanded. Axel saw the green magic rush over him, felt it flood through his veins, but it fizzled out, unable to catch.

“Cure!” Roxas demanded, to no effect.

“Hey, Roxas,” Axel started, but he ignored him, glaring down at his wounds.

“Cura,” he snapped, “Cura, cura.”

“Roxas –“

“Curaga!” A green circle traced around them, pulsing like a heartbeat. He couldn’t feel it.

“Roxas.” Axel grabbed his Flight-mate’s hand, smiling sadly at his desperate, heartbroken look, “It’s too late for me. There’s not enough left to save.”

“No! I won’t let this happen, not again. I can’t lose you, too!”

“Too?” Axel drew in a labored breath, trying to think through the fog filling his head, “Our third? You know who…?”

Roxas shook his head, “I can’t remember. I just know she’s here, with me.”

“She. Well, that’s something, at least.”

They breathed together for a moment in silence. Roxas dug his fingers into Axel’s coverts, and Axel sighed, tilting into the soft warmth of it before the feathers faded to ash. Cold continued to creep its way up Axel’s limbs, smothering the constant flame that lived in his chest since his magic unlocked.

“Why did this have to happen?” Roxas whispered, “Axel, why didn’t you just tell me?”

Axel reached up, carefully carding his fingers through dark feathers, “I had so many excuses. Told myself it was for the best. But really, I was just scared I’d lose you, if you knew the truth. I suppose I ended up losing you anyways.”

“No. No, you didn’t lose me, I’m still here, Axel – You said it yourself. You’ll always be my best friend, right?”

“Right. Though, it looks like I might… might not be able to be there for you, any more.”

“No, you – ” Roxas cut off in a dry sob, curling over him.

“I’m sorry,” Kairi said softly from his other side, and Axel flinched. Right, he’d forgotten she was there.

“Shut up! What do you know?”

“Hey, Roxas!” Axel hissed, trying to sit up but failing, breath catching “It’s not – her fault.”

Roxas flinched, something moving behind his eyes. He opened them again, wide, apologetic and imploring, confused but sheepish, and oh, that wasn’t – that wasn’t Roxas anymore, it was –

“Sorry,” Sora said, “I don’t know why I –“

He flinched again, blue eyes flickering until Roxas stared through.

“No – no!” Roxas snarled, even as his wings fluttered out of existence, “I won’t let him. I don’t understand. Why…”

“Why did you save Kairi?” Sora asked, eyes deepening, “You kidnapped her, but then… I can’t -”

“I can’t hold on,” Roxas said, hand to his head, “I can’t hold him back.”

“Hey,” Axel said, “Hey, it’s going to be okay.”

Roxas shook his head, “How can you say that? Nothing about this is okay. What –“

“What were you trying to do?” Sora asked, “They said you wanted to turn me into a heartless, but, why?”

Axel huffed a laugh. Why indeed. When Roxas didn’t speak up, he sighed, and answered, “I just wanted to get Roxas back.”

“That name again,” Sora said, “People keeping calling me that, like they’re expecting someone else. I don’t get it. Whoever that is, he’s not –“

“He’s not me! He’s taken everything else from me, he doesn’t get to take this, too!” Roxas protested, “What’s so special…”

“About him?” Sora asked.

Axel just breathed for a moment, pain burning through the parts of him he could still feel, watching the hero’s eyes. But Sora just stared back, wide-eyed and confused. Heartbeat after fading heartbeat, Roxas didn’t return. Sighing, he closed his eyes and let the grief course through him. It was really over. At least he got this. He got one more good-bye. With one last breath, he opened his eyes again.

“He gave me my heart,” he answered with a wry smile, holding up a shed feather to prove his point, watching as it faded to dust. He couldn’t meet Sora’s eyes, even as he tried to explain, “He gave me a Flight. Made me feel like I could be… more.”

He could hear Sora shuffling next to him, tried to imagine the expression on his face. Would it be like Roxas, all light furrows and slight tilts in the corners of his eyes, his mouth? No, from their brief encounters he remembered that the kid’s expressions were always far more dramatic than his Flight-mate’s.

The flames of non-existence lapped at his throat. He was out of time.

“Hey,” he whispered between labored breaths, reaching up to press a hand against the hero’s chest, “Take care of him for me, will you? I think… you’ll do better than I ever did.”

Roxas, our third. Let’s meet again – in the next life.

Next >

#axel speed-runs the five stages of grief #breaking news!#foreign couple finalizes divorce - burns down local forest #when you get your heart back just to immediately deal with all the shit you pulled in the last decade #kh #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts ii #axel #fanfiction #wingfic #wrap your wings au #Yza writes a thing

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