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umbrie · 11 months

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All my high empathy Night Vale girlies, how's that emotional exhaustion treating you? 💞

#I wish you all well #I'm tired yo #Welcome to Night Vale #The anniversaries always slap... right across my face

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iirvings · 1 year

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hey guys sorry for the radio silence! I'm at a convention as an assistant director this entire weekend and my only internet outside of the convention center is coming from my mobile hotspot so my only activity until monday will likely be from my queue! Note that my inbox is still open for memes and interactions, but chances are I won't be able to get to writing for anything until after 10pm EST

#!bladeless! (ooc)#I am up out of bed and out the door before 730am #and I am on my feet literally most of the day #I've already got three blisters in just as many days #I'm Tired yo

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cap-sweet-and-salty-sadness · 10 months

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Age Poll - Oldies but Goodies Edition

Feel free to tag at what age you joined tumblr and how long you've been using the site. 🥰

Please reblog if you vote so that the poll reaches more people, thank you!

#poll #because i'm sick and tired of seeing age polls focusing on 15 to 25 yo and forgetting the majority of the users #age poll #older people of tumblr

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red-moon-at-night · 11 months

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Let's talk a little bit about Mahiru's boyfriend

This post is alternatively titled "Mahiru's Boyfriend Probably Had An Eating Disorder And I Am Very Sad About It So Now You Get To Be Sad About It With Me" but that felt a bit much in the bold title font so I'm trying to tone this down at least a little bit :')

So I was reading this wonderful post earlier (you should too btw it has a LOT of interesting information), and as I was going through the food section something clicked in my brain. Pieces of information that were drifting aimlessly before quickly came together for me and I almost wish they hadn’t because oh boy is it depressing.

Now, nothing I’m about to say here is explicitly stated - but I do think it is strongly insinuated, through the MVs of both ‘This Is How To Be In Love With You’ (TIHTBILWY what an acronym wow) and ‘I Love You’. I am aware that the latter video has a lot of metaphorical imagery, but I still think some of this imagery can be taken in a literal sense to reinforce ideas established in TIHTBILWY.

TW/Trigger Warnings: discussion of eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia, etc.), discussion of suicide and suicidal thoughts. Please take these into consideration and stay safe!

credit to iaobug’s transcribed images from ‘This Is How To Be In Love With You’ used below btw!

Now I’ve always had an inkling this could be possible, but I didn’t realise until recently there was this much evidence supporting a little idea of mine dancing around in my head.

But First, Some Quick Definitions and Criteria

First things first, I think we should briefly clarify what an eating disorder is and what eating disorder I think Mahiru’s boyfriend most likely had.

Here are some definitions:

Eating disorders are behavioral conditions characterized by severe and persistent disturbance in eating behaviors and associated distressing thoughts and emotions. They can be very serious conditions affecting physical, psychological and social function. (source)

An eating disorder is a mental health condition where you use the control of food to cope with feelings and other situations. (source)

And here are some brief introductions to several types of eating disorders:

The most common eating disorders are:

anorexia nervosa – trying to control your weight by not eating enough food, exercising too much, or doing both bulimia – losing control over how much you eat and then taking drastic action to not put on weight binge eating disorder (BED) – eating large portions of food until you feel uncomfortably full

Other specified feeding or eating disorder (OSFED) – A person may have an OSFED if their symptoms do not exactly fit the expected symptoms for any specific eating disorders.

(source)

Okay, so we have some basic information down, cool! This is not fully comprehensive but it will do for the purposes of this segment.

So what eating disorder do I believe Mahiru’s boyfriend had?

I’m not sure! The information we have is not conclusive enough for me to confidently pick an option. What I will say is most likely, and most common, is OSFED and the concept of the eating disorder cycle. People’s symptoms will often overlap with multiple diagnoses, or shift from one mode of behaviour (e.g. the restrictive eating behaviours found in anorexia) to another (e.g. binge eating and following compensatory behaviours found in bulimia).

Things are often not as clear-cut or black and white as we’d like to imagine.

Let’s move onto looking at the MVs, shall we?

This first music video has a wealth of information hidden in its cute magazine-style annotations and imagery - information that, when you look a little closer and consider the bigger picture, raises all the alarm bells in my mind.

Parts of ‘This Is How To Be In Love With You’ That Make Me Pause In Concern, In Chronological Order:

The Bread

Let's start off with a not very obvious one.

One of the first things we learn about Mahiru’s soon-to-be-boyfriend (which by the way this is literally the 2nd time he’s mentioned) is ‘wow he buys a lot of bread’. Insignificant on its own, I know, but consider this through my lens if you will: my man has bought 5 whole baguettes from a bakery. Not 2 or 3, but 5. Actually, on closer inspection there's even more bread of a different type at the bottom of that bag too. These aren’t store-bought, they’re fresh and will probably go stale in a few days. Pray tell, if the man is not eating baguette for breakfast lunch and dinner over the course of 72 hours... why did he buy so much fucking bread?

What comes to mind when I see this is binge eating. Bread is one of the most common binge foods out there; anything with high carbohydrates or high fat content, in fact, often due to its “unhealthy” or “forbidden” nature.

We'll just have a quick look at Mahiru's comment again:

"I thought to buy the same bread he did, but this is far too much for me to eat... ><

I forgot to ask how many calories there are..."

If it hasn't been established by now with the MV's aesthetic, Mahiru cares about her appearance. A lot. Her self-image and beauty directly ties into looking 'good' enough for others, so she can find the love of her life and please him with her looks.

If Mahiru is also calorie counting, this does not bode well for their relationship. I should probably speak in past tense, actually... Mahiru's own self-image behaviours made her blind to her boyfriend's self-image behaviours. There we go.

But I'm getting ahead of myself here.

So, We have an indication of binge eating behaviours. Remind me again what comes after binging?

The Jogging Hobby

Oh, that’s right - purging.

Excessive exercise is an indirect method of purging/compensatory behaviour found in bulimia. A more commonly known purging method is self-induced vomiting, but that's certainly not the only way to counteract excess calories.

So the jogging, while harmless in isolation, is starting to paint an ever-so-slightly worrying picture.

Again, let's take a look at Mahiru's comment:

"I had a chance to chat with him today, and he mentioned his hobby was jogging. ... I haven't exercised this much in ages... I'm totally exhausted..."

The only hobby (not hobbies but hobby, singular) that we learn the boyfriend has is this. Sure, there's one movie that he also likes... but that's it. There's not much else to him! So when the two most prevalent ideas attached to this guy are 'food' (in excess) and 'exercise' (in excess)... you can see where I'm going with this.

And by the way, the post I linked at the very beginning? Well, they worked out the location of where this running loop is, and judging by Mahiru’s position and direction it would suggest she’s already jogged about 5km and beginning another loop. So we’re looking at a jog ranging from 5-10km (or more)...

The Alcohol

Okay, here's a quick pop quiz question for you. Who is more likely to get drunk on the same volume of alcohol: a 5"1 woman, or an average height (5"7 in Japan) man?

In theory, it should be the 5"7 man on the basis of his height and size. Alcohol tolerance goes up the bigger you are.

So why is it that the boyfriend ended up blackout drunk, and Mahiru... didn't?

Let’s take a look at the comment:

“My first date at a bar, how heartpounding!

Here is where I learned he’s the biggest lightweight I’ve ever met! ...or maybe I’m just really good at holding alcohol?

Whatever the case, blackout drunk him is so cute!”

Three possible options:

Mahiru really can 'hold her liquor'. Judging by her sheltered home life and general lack of adult life experience though, I'm gonna press x to doubt here sorry mappi.

The boyfriend drunk more alcohol than Mahiru. Also unlikely, as she calls him a 'lightweight' and I think she would've highlighted this in her comment.

He drank on an empty stomach. Alcohol absorbs way faster if you haven't had anything to eat beforehand. This, I think is the most likely scenario.

Here's a little more on the subject that I found interesting:

You absorb 20 per cent of alcohol into your bloodstream through your stomach and the rest into your bloodstream through your small intestine.

Drinking a small amount of alcohol stimulates your appetite because it increases the flow of stomach juices. A large amount of alcohol dulls your appetite and can cause malnutrition. (source)

What have we learnt so far?

So we’ve established some concerning behaviours here.

He eats in excess

He exercises in excess

He drinks in excess (on an empty stomach)

I’m actually going to move onto material from the ‘I Love You’ MV, but intertwine it with some of the remaining points from TIHTBILWY.

At this point the relationship has progressed, we’re moving into winter which brings with it the holiday season! Yay! Except not yay, because things are starting to look really bad for Mahiru’s boyfriend. We've gone from this:

To this:

The carousel was fine at first but now it’s taking its toll on him. Both of them have tattered clothes but Mahiru looks optimistic, whilst the boyfriend looks very distraught. His cheekbones are visible and overall he looks a lot less healthy. I guess this is a good time to point out how distinct and visible his collarbone has been this entire time by the way? He’s even bonier than before. Not great.

A lot of events occur at this time of year, such as Christmas (celebrated between couples in Japan as more of a lovers holiday) and new years. What happens a lot during that period of time? Food. Lots of it. This point in the year is not ideal for someone suffering from a worsening eating disorder. This is a period of time which someone would want to move very quickly from because they can’t see the end of it.

I think it’s time to read Mahiru’s comment from day 15:

“Happy new years! To celebrate, we went to a shrine.

Predictably, I already have my wish in mind.

May we stay like this until the end of time.

May nobody stand in my way”

She, on the other hand, is very happy for things to remain as they are.

Day 16 - AKA, Oh No Things Have Gone Terribly Wrong

This is where the narrative hits its climax and everything starts to snowball.

Now, we reach this scene where the boyfriend stops walking and breaks down. He kneels on the ground, digs his nails into it, and pleads for... something. Help? An intervention? A stop to this carousel that’s doing him no good and only making his health (physical and mental) worse?

He never speaks. It is a silent plea.

One that Mahiru misses.

Saying I love you but doing what I did, I know I have no right, crossed and covered in sin

My love, it scored an own goal, destroyed my love and me with its weight

Tell me, oh tell me why, can’t I just do it right

What did you do, Mahiru?

I believe that this scene and response:

Is directly parallel to this event:

As in, they’re the same thing.

One more comment to read:

He’ll be in for a big, delicious surprise once he gets home!

I’ve made SO many notes about his favorite foods, and practiced my butt off!

I can’t wait to see the look on his face when he sees it all.

Her love - her surprise buffet to cheer him up - scored an own goal, so to speak.

I don’t think I need to say much about this picture, or this scene. She’s giving him excess but that excess is literally driving him over the edge. The nuance is lost between them, and they both need different things from each other and they’re not getting it. Cake to rats, rats to cake.

They’re back on the carousel, spinning around and around with things never changing, no end in sight.

I want to end on this frame of the MV. You see the pole behind the boyfriend? It’s reminding me of rope, and of a certain visual at the end of the video. The juxtaposition of Mahiru forcing her ‘love’ onto him, and of suicidal ideation being the only way off this ride and his problems.

#milgram #mahiru shiina #analysis #long post #eating disorder tw #anorexia tw #bulimia tw #this is how to be in love with you #ai nan desu yo #I love you #daisuki #I DID THE THING and it's... long. and sad :(#this was a really interesting interpretation to write! it's certainly not bulletproof but I truly believe this guy had problems in life #and mahiru couldn't have changed that fact. did she help? not really! did things get bad bad? y. yeah. but! ...#...I have nothing uplifting to say here. her love was plentiful and well meaning but woefully misguided </3 #I genuinely care about this nameless character now... he looks so happy at the start embracing her and im certain in better--#--days between them they were having a great lovey dovey time!! ugH my heart it hurts.....#if there's typos it's because it's late and I'm tired LMAO

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nomnayuii · 1 year

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I come back to pose after a long time gone😭😭

Enjoy my man Rocky😔💖💯💯

Rocky Rickaby by @lackadaisycats

#lackadaisy #rocky rickaby #I'm tired yo

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dragoninahumancostume · 3 months

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I want to see art of Tumblr as a physical space. It's a building. The popular blogs are sitting on their thrones. The hall of fame is the reception of it because departamental building. You know when you got to a building and there are sofas on one side the receptionist in front fo the door? Imagine he sofa side is incredibly big but it's actually a library, because everyone here seems to love libraries, and each book is a famous post, but they're all disorganized entirely so they randomly appear on a table of the library and someone grabs it and says "hey look at this!" and then continue to share it; sometimes they don't share it and instead put it back in the shelf but soon it appears on a table again. Each apartment is a person and each room in them is a blog they have, and if you only have one blog? Worry not! Slider curtains or magical walls, so it's technically one room but it's made perfectly to fit you. The apartment has all accommodations needed for the person (wheel chair, painkillers, pads, tampons, you name it and it's there.) and you can have your pronouns and your name written on the door and next to it a list of the things you love the most and want to talk about with people. There are pride flags inside and outside if you want to have them. Your wardrobe is whatever you want to wear for the day; Cozy pajama? Sure! Wizard robe! There you go! Victorian outfit? Lovely! Beetlejuice cosplay? Neat!

The dash is the halls. We wander around the building whenever we leave the room. When you post something, you're just saying out loud your thoughts, and if you get notes, that's just people wandering near your apartment who happen to have heard you. Likes are people literally leaving heart shaped stickers —with the paper still on— under your door with a little note saying "I heard you saying this and I liked it". Reblogs are people hearing you, then going back to their rooms and saying "Hey I heard this and I want all of you to hear it too! Also, I may have something to add to it!". Your neighbors are your mutuals, because they can hear you more easily.

In the main hall there are, like, papers hanging on one VERY big wall. The wall has written at the very top of it "POLLS" in big font. The wall is divided in "FINISHED" and "AVAILABLE". The papers on the available side come with a pen so you can vote, but no one sees you while doing so and no one will know what you said except for you.

The asks are people sending you letters under your door. Your door is uh magical so you can say if people have to sign it or if it's okay to put it anonymous. You then proceed to read the letter out loud for everyone who passes by to hear and you answer.

The drafts is you having a thought but instead of saying it out loud you write it down, and put it on a shelf with the other drafts. Every apartment has a shelf, as high or as low as the person wants it, the color and the shape and everything is to appeal the owner of the apartment.

And uh.. I think that's it for now I can't think for much else except uh

@hellsite-detective has two types of asks. The simples ones like "Hey can you find this?" "I love what you do!" are the usual letters, the other type is the people who prefer to go ask for help themselves. They knock on the door and present the evidence for the case, trusting our dear detective.

There's so many people in here... Tumblr is pretty much a city with how many buildings there are... People can go on to other buildings and wander around too and participate if they want.

The gimmick blogs have different wardrobes in their rooms. There's the main one where they go as themselves, and there's the other where they can put on costumes and change their names.

There's also a more secluded part of the city... That's where the misfits live. Bigots, transphobes, homophobes... People who we don't want to be around, so they hide in their little corner of the city. Most know better than to interact. Those who are curious put on a custom to not be seen when they wander around, and they try not to engage.

I want to continue talking about this but I don't have any more ideas right now so please continue this if you want! :)

#is this something #how do i even tag this #I want people yo see this tbh #I've been feeling terrible lately and this hellsite (affectionate) is my escape #It literally feels like a physical place and it's so nice #When I feel bad I just come here and distract myself #i love this #hellsite #I'm sorry this is mainly just me rambling and it's 3am and I'm tired but I wanted to share #This is probably poorly written I'm sorry #long post #It was actually 2am when I wrote this but I missclicked and I don't want to write it again #i'm hungry #tumblr

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hehe-hoho-ohno · 2 months

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I have a question about mechanics in Misfits-verse. Is there a reason why Jawbreaker's missing eye was replaced with one made of steel, instead of, say, painted wood? The former is going to stand out immediately, while I feel like the latter would at least be similar to a glass eye in a human, passing casual inspection. Is it maybe cultural? Like it's taboo to try and disguise your, and I am using the biggest quotation marks here, "defects"? Or now that I think about it, was it his own choice?

I am very sorry, I seem to have done a very bad job at describing things. Jawbreaker does not have a steel eye.

I do describe his remaining eye as "steel" but I meant it in more of a metaphorical sense of his gaze being strong/cold/unfeeling (and also that the iris is grey in color). It's not literally made of steel. That's his one good eye. I'm sorry, that's my bad. I really should have been clearer.

Jawbreaker never received a replacement eye. The damage he received also extended to the rest of his face around his eye, especially above and below. Any replacement he was given would just fall out again because there would be nothing to hold it in place. That's part of why Jawbreaker is considered "unfixable" or at least that it would be a "waste of resources" to bother trying.

Culturally, it would actually be encouraged to mask one's "defects." Jawbreaker usually doesn't bother when he's just around the rest of the Taffy Battalion (or Emmet and Ingo) but when he knows he's going to be in public or in front of anyone important he tries to cover up the missing eye, usually with bandages.

#misfits #asks #jawbreaker #ocs #thesilverdreamer #I described that confusingly I'm sorry!#he doesn't wear the bandages all the time because they're a pain to wear. it's super inconvenient #he tired using an eyepatch once but it didn't adequately cover all the damage #also the rest of the Battalion kept calling him a pirate #“aye aye captain!” “yo ho” “anchors away”#and that pissed him off so much that he stopped wearing it around them

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lewishamiltonstuff · 3 months

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Had a guy tell me that boycotting isn't gonna help at all, I'm illiterate and it's baffling that I've passed one of the most difficult exams ever, my boycott hasn't stopped the genocide, IDF is still getting funds, why didn't I think of the poor man who opened a franchise of fucking Baskin Robins before I decided to boycott, reports showing how badly giants like Starbucks and McDonalds are suffering mean nothing and that he can write a report too, if i had checked the degrees of the people before believing their reports, I should break my phone and stop using my car, and when I told him that his laugh reacts to all my messages aren't helping, he told me just like your boycott, my laugh reacts have no impact.

ANNNNND when I stopped replying to his messages, the mf had the nerve to send me a message saying that he wants to offer me constructive criticism that I'm very rigid in my opinions and I should learn to be flexible when he didn't, for a second, move from his rigid pov.

And then people ask why we need feminism and why it's hard being a woman.

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witch-of-bears · 2 years

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I'm not sure if the writers realized how much the monster group from Charlie's Halloween Thing 2 was giving big polyam queer vibes. Legally adopting kids to raise them with your homies didn't look like the straightest thing to me years ago already.

Anyway they deserve their own show.