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#i've been trying to piece it together coherently haha
quietbirdee · 2 years
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thinking about grimwalker-y things again, this time in regards to selkidomus scales and boiling water
bonus:
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chouchen · 1 year
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/lh I'm in a similar boat as you, actually. Finally ended a year-long writer's block and all my writing feels cringe now. However, I do have a recommendations that should hopefully help? First thing's first, mentally prepare yourself to write the work multiple times. The first time, write everything you're genuinely excited about (eg. if you really want to write a scene from chapter 13 of your work, write that first; don't worry about writing in a linear timeline). This stage is the one I cringe the most in. Take a break (approx. one day works for me) to think about what you wrote, which will help you make more sense of your writing and hopefully reduce the cringe. Keep on tidying up the work by changing minor plot points (as needed, of course), adjusting the vocabulary used, touching up the formatting, and so on. I notice that a lot of new writers have an issue with excessive cursing and...I guess just general angriness? I'm not sure, a lot of protagonists seem irritated all the time, which can be comedic when used right, but not when it's in excess. Try to keep this in mind when characterizing your cast, as they may come across as unrealistic otherwise. TL;DR: Write a rough draft with plot points in whatever order your want, whether or not it makes sense. After mulling it over, go back and piece it together in a way that seems coherent. I really hope this helped in some way, best of luck to you on your writing journey!!
hi thank you for the advice !
it's been a few days now and i know what to do now >:D
i've also read more but this time to analyse how people write and its fascinating to notice and actually see how people write (idk how to explain it i just woke up haha)
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l-la · 1 year
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Also
🖊faeriebell
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OH BOY. The egg! The bean! Faeriebell Grimm Bombe!
Lessgo!
Faeriebell is an anamoly, a thing of magic that defies reality and creates it at once. Time and space bend to them, break to them. The unreal, the boundaries between planes finds itself weak and leaves spaces liminal where they go. They are old and new at once. Whole and a fragment of something far larger.
But--let's really talk about what I want to talk about with them. They were a heck of a journey to get to, and I love them very dearly.
I'd say I've been workshopping this character since probably 2016? with the original Pixie Styx. I wanted this strange, broken magical thing for ages. Surreal and a delight for me. It... didn't work out. I thought maybe being too indulgent with my favourite themes simply wasn't something I could pull off.
I love where Pixie Styx went, do not get me wrong. But it took them 2 years before I really settled on who they felt comfortable as. And the concept of this strange wisp of something that bent time around it--just fell to the wayside.
Rach and I decided to replay Guild Wars 2 as a whole in... man? late 2020 or early 2021? Either way, I was like: I'm going to do it! I'm going to be indulgent!! And then turtle-shelled and was unable to really move forward with any of my ideas. They sounded silly, frivelous and barely coherent to me (no matter what others told me). At the time they were called Newbloom Sapling, because I didn't even have a name. I just knew I wanted to give my Pixie Styx 1.0 stuff another shot.
I started slowly making a character with the name of Faerie eventually down the line. Trying to piece things together, but it still didn't seem /right/.
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So, I looked at a character at the time I loved, but who had fallen deeply to the wayside, Tinkerbell (Eladrin self pictured above). Things I wanted to do with Faerie seemed to brush against stuff I had made around Tinkerbell--liminal things, et cetra. But with Tinkerbell, I had literally not allowed myself to make them a Mesmer in Guild Wars 2 because it had felt too indulgent. They were a Scourge, instead. They had been a bit too disconnected for them to be easy to really play up against other characters, and they did not have quite the momentum I wanted them to have, even if just a wayward curiousity.
And I asked myself: what if I smashed the very basic ideas of Faerie, a sapling who had too much magic and destroyed their pod with a chaos storm that made the Menders have to pull them from the Dream early with Tinkerbell, who played with liminality and wisps...
And I said yeah, they should subsume each other to make a new character. Initially I debated what name they'd keep... And eventually I was like haha, I'll just smash the name Faerie with bell and thus Faeriebell (which I didn't realize was a type of flower at the time).
It's funny--they are so dear to me because I have wanted their strangeness for so long. It's weird I finally feel like I managed to find the voice and the essence of this character who defies being solid.
They exist on the edges of the reality around them, looking in, delighted by the colours of it all and the colours of the sounds. They flit, and they prank. Faeriebell sees things through tones and concepts others might not. Sometimes they play with others, teasing them. It can be hard to tell the difference. They're really fun.
I leave you with a quote from Virginia Woolf's The Waves, from the character Rhoda, because Rhoda has always been key to some aspect of this concept.
"Now it is my turn. But I have no answer. . . . I am left alone to find an answer. The figures mean nothing to me. Meaning has gone. . . . Look, the loop of the figure is beginning to fill with time; it holds the world in it. I begin to draw a figure and the world is looped in it, and I myself am outside the loop; which I now join – so – and seal up, and make entire. The world is entire, and I am outside of it, crying, ‘Oh, save me, from being blown for ever outside the loop of time!’""
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leqclerc · 3 years
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I've been daydreaming of a sebchal Kid!fic and you have created a heartwarming story!. I absolutely love this story! The nora au is something you should definitely continue! you're brilliant writer and I look forward to whatever you write next!
Ahh this is so nice to hear 🥺💖Thank you so much, I’m glad you like it 💕 It’s completely self-indulgent but I’d love to write more in this AU at some point. Maybe even have a full fic...There’s just so many scenes and random visuals running through my head - I guess the real struggle is piecing them together and writing something coherent from start to finish. But maybe I’ll write some more drabbles, we’ll see. If I do end up writing something (of this, or anything else) I’ll definitely share 🙏🏻💕
It feels like it could be a really fun AU. Like imagine Charles trying to balance streaming on Twitch and keeping Nora a secret. She starts making baby noises and he’s like, “haha sorry guys if you hear something strange it’s just the cats fighting in the street<3″ or something equally incomprehensible. Him giving her one of his bandanas because her hair is falling into her face and she’s lost her hairtie somewhere and then it just sticks and they wear matching bandanas and Seb’s just fondly shaking his head like, “how is this my life?” 
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there’s glitter on the floor after the party...
Taylor,
*About 9 days ago, on May 22nd, 2018, I had just arrived home from your Seattle show at CenturyLink Field. It was 4am and I couldn’t sleep. I had so much on my mind and was still on a high from your show. So, in the early hours of the morning, after my friends had long gone to bed, I began to write. I’ve revised my original note quite a bit since then. I’ve also had the opportunity to do some additional reflecting since tour, and I have some thoughts. So, I guess this is the end-result of a mash-up of 4AM overly-emotional rambling, combined with well thought-out, fully coherent, mature writing. I feel like I really over-explained this. I could have been a lot less-awkward in setting this up. Let's just get into it:
[SO. I just got home from your Seattle show. It's 4 am and I can't sleep. This was my 6th tour, and I made what seems like an infinite amount of unforgettable memories with a group of incredible people I call my ‘Swiftie Fam” (the name needs work...). There's Cecil (my long-time, Canadian Swiftie friend, you’ll see him in earlier posts), Wanda (Cecil’s wife), Kaeden (7. Cecil & Wanda’s son. Major Swiftie. His first concert!), and finally the beautiful Maile (a recent addition to the fam, and now a life-long friend!).  It’s hard to explain in words, but we all have developed a connection that’s special and unique because of what we experienced together. I couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to stand by my side tonight. We danced, laughed, and cried together… I don’t think I’ve ever felt more understood. These people ‘get’ me.
Not surprisingly, I screamed every single lyric at the top of my lungs and subsequently lost my voice almost IMMEDATIELY. With that in mind, I suppose a more accurate description would be: I wasn’t so much singing, as I was gasping for the remainder of the show. I literally danced with until I was out of breath. I cried (ok, SOBBED) all of my make-up off (a Long Live/NYD mash-up… are you kidding me?! I FEEL ATTACKED). 
By the end of the night, I resembled a pathetic, overly-emotional, glittery, drowned rat.
and I was living my absolute best life.
Also, I was REALLY proud of our outfits this time around! I think we did a decent job of recreating your Direct TV commercial, with my rainbow two-piece, and Cecil’s interpretation of Olivia Benson dressed as a Caticorn (I can’t say I ever thought I’d use that in a sentence). It consisted of around 8-10 hours total of gluing, painting, and hand-sewing, leading up to the show. Everything turned out awesome, way better than expected. Totally worth the man hours! Wanda hand-made matching these adorable matching t-shirts for her and little Kaden (Big Rep & Little Rep), and Maile constructed a beautiful MASTERPIECE from the mountain LYWMMD outfit- it was freakin’ incredible and HOT!
There was something a bit different about this tour for a couple of reasons:
[The production.] I don’t think I’ve experienced such sensory-overload in my LIFE. The whole time it was like a constant stream of frantic, internal dialogue with a lot of run-on sentences, like, “WHAT IS HAPPENING SHE’S GIVING US CHOREO OMG YAAASSS WERK HONEY IF A MAN TALKS SHIT WE DON'T OWE HIM A DAMN THING OH MY GOD ITS RAINING CONFETTI I MUST COLLECT IT I HOPE THESE MULTI-COLORED FLASHING LIGHTS DON’T GIVE ME AN EPILEPTIC ATTACK WHERE THE F-CK DID THESE GIGANTIC SNAKES COME FROM THERE ARE LITERALLY STAGES EVERYWHERE I’M OVERWHELMED OH SHIT SHES PULLING A SPEAK NOW BY WALKING THROUGH THE CROWD WHAT'S GOING ON OH GOD F-CKING FIREWORKS THESE VOCALS ARE LIT THO I'M SWEATING I’M DEFINITELY GONNA NEED THERAPY AFTER THIS NEW YEARS DAY/LONG LIVE MASH UP IS THAT A FOUNTAIN WHATS HAPPENING OH GOD IT’S REAL WATER AND SHE’S IN THE FOUNTAIN I’M HAVING A 2008 SHOULD’VE SAID NO ACM AWARDS FLASHBACK MOMENT HOLY SH-T MORE F-CKING FIREWORKS SO MUCH PYRO IS THIS EVEN LEGAL” I’ve gotta say, you have BEST band (Paul, Amos and Mike..OGS), vocalists (Eliott and Kamilah…the TALENT), and all the dancers. Every single person on that stage was on FIRE, and their talent, passion, and individual personalities made the night sparkle.
[The fans.] I freaking adore this fan culture. I’ve never met a Swiftie who wasn’t ridiculously friendly, welcoming, and super relatable. The vibe was so positive. I’ve never smiled, waved and taken pictures with so many random strangers in my life. It felt as if we were literally in a different world that day. It felt like home.
[YOU!.]  We need to talk about this major GLO UP you’ve got going on, honey. You exude SO much confidence and you're just pure sunshine. When I think about the way you’ve carried yourself these past couple of years through all of the BS drama, I can’t help but feel damn proud. You’ve successfully converted pain into art, into music. Real music, that’s poignant, raw, and just BAD ASS. Your lyrics continue to foster a special connection you maintain with the audience...a connection that often times breathes life into brokenness.
I felt like the luckiest girl in the entire world tonight. 
This may have been my best concert experience ever, which is actually pretty ironic because:
Unlike Red, I wasn’t in the Pit
I didn’t have VIP seating, like 1989
You weren’t close enough for any potential high fives, waves, or eye contact like I experienced at Speak Now at B-Stage
We were not chosen for Rep Room (or T-Party, Club Red, or Loft 89)
…But, it was OK. It was way more than OK. It was truly a dream.
Listen: Something I've always deeply admired about you is that you make it a priority to maintain a personal relationship with the fans.  It’s clear you want to meet as many of us as possible, and you make a conscious effort to do so. You get to know us as individuals and you CARE, and that means everything us and makes such an impact. I mean, you invite us into your HOME for crying out loud, you walk through massive crowds and give high-fives, you lurk our Instagrams and Tumblrs and interact on social media, and you always make a notable effort to meet as many of us as possible at tour.
However, this can sometimes turn into a bit of a "Catch 22" situation for people. The downside, is that it’s honestly SUPER easy to fall into the “trap” of being consumed with the possibility of meeting you after your shows. Due to the fact that the “selection” process is both intentional, yet also random. To be transparent, it's quite difficult to not obsess with the idea of ‘trying’ to get chosen. I witness this behavior so often, in others and in myself just as much, if not more. Selfishly, I often feel not only jealous, but UPSET when I see photos/read experiences of other fans meeting you. I sometimes feel like the only one who hasn’t yet gotten the opportunity.  It can quickly turn into a mind-game if you're not careful, which has the potential to become toxic if we allow the idea of meeting you to rule supreme over what it's actually about...which is the MUSIC. And, this amazing show you put on for us night after night. And somewhat understandably so, I've witnessed the obsession with being chosen to meet you become a main focus point for a lot of us (including myself a bit!). It's pretty stressful, and can easily dampen or cheapen the concert experience, if you're not careful. As dramatic as this probably sounds, Tumblr (and social media) can be brutal within this fandom, and dare I say ‘cut-throat’ at times. It's easy to get upset watching (what seems like) literally EVERYONE get that opportunity, except you. 
That said, I had a wake-up call/mini-epiphany recently, which manifested while driving home from your show at Midnight on May 22nd with my friends, feeling so amazing and so grateful for what I just experienced…but also a little guilty because I feel like I’ve spent way too much time worrying about the possibility of meeting at you when you come to Seattle, how to get the attention of Taylor Nation, where to find Mama Swift, getting that guitar pick from Papa Swift, and this time was no different. Granted, my intentions are 100% pure and it’s only because you’ve meant so freakin much to me for so many years, and it's almost as if my life won’t be complete until I finally get to tell you in person. That said, there is certainty a valuable lesson to be learned here. I am confident that you and I will come face-to-face one day (hopefully with my Swifie fam!). The stars will align at the exactly the right time, and I will have my moment with you, and it will be SO worth the wait. You can't "force" stuff like this, you know? The privilege of meeting you is almost ‘sacred’ in a sense. At least in my opinion. Anyway, my point is: I refuse to a continue to attempt to “create fate” by attempting to "earn" my worthiness in fandom. It’s not productive, it's not healthy, and it’s not cute.
Alright, this is getting out of hand. I need to wrap this up. 🤣 I’m not sure whether or not you’ve seen any of my throwback photo-posts I posted the week leading up to the show. They definitely explain a lot more about me, and my history being a fan. Either way, I must reiterate how grateful I am to have you in my life, and that support you 100% and will always be here. The amount of hope, joy and comfort you've given me over the past 10+ years is insurmountable, and I'll never be able to repay you for that. And I mean that in the most sincere way. Not a lot of things make me as happy as you make me (especially lately). This experience was the ‘boost’ I needed, I think. And like I said, the relationship I have with my friends/Swiftie Fam is invaluable, and I look forward to making memories with them at your shows in the future. You’ve brought the most random group of people together and created a bond that’s unique, unconditional and unbreakable, and I think that’s so cool.
This was A LOT longer than I originally intended it to be. This escalated quickly. Haha. Thanks for listening. 💗
Don’t read the last page…]
Love you, T
Crystal
@taylorswift
@taylornation
@ceunit
@maileswiftie
[photos]:  1) The whole crew: Cecil, Wanda, Kaeden, Maile and myself at our seats. 2) Kaeden the night before the show. SO EXCITED!! 3) Testing out the Caticorn onesie w/ Cecil 4) Cecil and myself FULLY DECKED and ready to go. 5) Wanda and Kaeden: Big Rep & Lil’ Rep! 6) the girls! Maile, Wanda and Me pre-show 7) Us at the end of the show! And yes, that’s me in the middle..in disbelief, exhausted, sweaty, and a physical and emotional wreck (see also: ‘drowned rat’ description above). 8) All of us after the show literally in a hotel lobby (and glitter on the floor after the party!), waiting for traffic to die down before we headed home.
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maychorian · 7 years
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Question: I've been trying to write something beyond 5k words and more novel length for awhile, and it's been a bit hard since I don't have any prior experience with something that long. Any tips?
I’m really not a great resource for this, haha, because I’m awfully loosey goosey, at least with my fanfiction. I usually just have an idea, an image in my head, and start writing and see where it goes. That’s how my hurt/comfort fics that I thought would be 20 or 30k keep ending up being over 100k. So if you have a very strong story you need to get out, something that occupies your attention and you feel COMPELLED to tell it, you could just start on the road and see where it takes you. That’s a great way to run into dead ends, though, as well. I have plenty of abandoned fics out there for other fandoms that I’m heartily ashamed of. 
Another method is to have an outline. It doesn’t have to be terribly detailed, though that can help. For a shared writing project I did with RL friends a few year’s ago, I wrote a very detailed chapter by chapter story treatment that you can see here, if you’d like an example: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fDZOo2H92DJMURrlTGqETfXGBuLWglU7nCU7evkNhvs/edit?usp=sharing
It’s unusual for me to do it that way. In fact, that’s the only time I’ve written a long piece of fiction with such a detailed and well thought-out outline (plus all the comments from my friends, which made me think a lot and made the story better, I’m sure). It worked for me, certainly, but I also didn’t enjoy it nearly as much as I enjoy writing my fanfiction. If you’re the kind of person who likes having a detailed plan, you can certainly try it that way. And if you like to collaborate with other people, by all means, discuss the plot with a couple of friends who can help you hash it out and plan.
More often when I feel like I need to plan something out, at least a little bit, I’ll just start freewriting and see if I can hash out a coherent plot that way. Here’s the freewriting I did for Dancing Around a Minefield, which is a much shorter story than you’re thinking of, but I believed it still merited a little bit of thought and planning. After I looked at a list of phobias and picked fear of needles as a good one for Keith and thought about the backstory, I wrote this in about two minutes:
okay the keith phobia fic is gelling together in my mind now. so he and lance are looking for shiro and are going through a random galra lab and the medical equipment seems to be making him nervous but lance assumes it’s because he’s thinking about shiro and whatever awful things the galra are doing to him right now, but then when they, like, knock over a case of needles and keith seriously freaks, that’s where it gets real. and then Lance has to talk him down and calm him down and figure things out. 
And that was enough for me to be going on with. I figured out the rest of the story from there while writing it.
I did something similar for Burning Up, Burning Out, a bunch of freewriting to help me bring the plot together in my head, in fact several thousand words worth, but I don’t want to share that because it would be spoilery for the story. I’ve probably done more thinking for this fic than I’ve done in a long, long time. Even for Cycle of the Five Lions, I basically decided on character archetypes for everyone and the bare bones of an epic storyline and just started writing. I mean, I spent a LOT of time thinking about each of the Voltron characters and how they would translate into a fantasy world based on Dungeons & Dragons, and also how the pantheon I made with RL friends ten years ago would inform that world, and I wrote down my five volume titles on a sticky note. Seriously. “The Storyteller and the Thief,” “The Godsent Wanderer,” “The Broken Soldier,” “The Boy Made of FIre,” and “The Legendary Defender.” That was my outline. (Plus the beginning of some character profiles with backstories.) And then I just started writing.
But really, it makes sense to write that story that way, I think. When I play DnD, I spend a lot of time thinking about my character and my party members and how we’ll mesh together and our backstories, and then we just get into it. Even when I DM, I usually only have a vague idea of what’s going to happen, and then I just present situations and let the characters deal with them. So I’m basically writing the story like a DnD campaign that I’m very loosely DMing. I put the Voltron crew in my world and I’m letting them run around. At the end of writing The Godsent Wanderer, I spent some time cogitating on how the shape of the rest of the story will look, but I still didn’t write an outline. I have ideas, I have character interactions I want to happen, I have scenes, but I don’t have plot. I’ll discover that as I go. It’s been working so far.
So yeah. There are some ideas. Just start writing, have a detailed outline, or something in between. Different methods work for different kinds of stories, at least for me. You’ll probably need to do some experimenting to find out what works for you. Good luck! Have fun with it, though, that’s the most important thing.
Gosh, I’m sorry for posting this at 2 AM. I hope you see it, dear nonny.
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let-them-eat-rakes · 4 years
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RED REALITY (part 2)
[Dr. Scranton's voice is noticeably distorted now. Hypothesized to a combination of both him and the control panel finally showing signs of reality breakdown.]
Robert… cold. I can't… I can't feel my legs anymore. I think… I'm beginning to… Hitting that point I… talked about… Low Hume Field… Diffusion… Equilibrium… bunch of… stupid… garbage…
I don't know what's real in here any more. Hell, I'm not sure I'm real. Or… something… something close to it… If… If I really am going out like this, I… I… I don't want to die yet. I don't want to die yet. Oh, god I don't wanna die yet…
I ran up in one straight diagonal line, for six months. I went down in one… no I just went down again… for… eight. There's still no bottom, red, there's still no bottom.
What have you been up to, Red? Have you been listening for me all this time? You're a stubborn little guy, Red…
Lucy.
Huh, Red? Sorry, I must have fell asleep. What did you want? Oh… sorry, I-I'll try to remember…
Lucy. That's what we wanted to call our kid if we had one. Lucy Scranton, Lucy Lang, Anna and I both thought it would have a nice ring. I-I- No, Red, I… I don't remember picking out a boy's name…
"Good morning… good morni-i-ing. We've talked… the whole… through…"
Man, I really suck at tap-dancing. Can't feel my feet at all. Okay, you try then, Red.
Kejel's Law states that Hume Fields diffuse, Kejel's Law states that my balls will eventually fall off if this keeps up.
"Anna… Anna bo banna…" Heh, she hated that song, and I loved to tease her with it. "Anna… Anna bo banna banana… banana, banana canna…" It actually became a joke between us, did you know? We made it the words that turn you on. [Pause.] Come on, red, act your age, don't be immature. [Sighs.] Fine, guess you have a sense of humor after all, maybe!
Heheheh, we're gonna have to fuck with so much science when we get out, this place breaks apart rules like my hand is breaking right now.
Spiderwebs. My left hands. Spiderwebs.
There was a reality-bending spider at Site-120 once. I should crush it. Red, would you crush it for me when we get out?
Average ten, fifteen kilometers a day, plus a few breaks. Thirty, two, thirty, ten, no, eleven, no, no ten, I think. At least, three hundred left, and… and… shit no, was faster going down… Fuck it, I'm saying about six hundred kilometers down. Took a hell of a lot longer coming up.
Far down. Bottomless? Infinite? And beyond. Shut up, Robert, you're not funny.
Hume Field, boom field… breaking down at a rate of… shit, what's the constant of Modified Prommel Relations? Ten to the fourth? No, no… fifth… fifth, I think…
One year. Maybe add a few more months.
Red, how does David sound? David. You know, you asked about… yeah, yeah, that. Sorry I woke you…
My… my hands. I… my hands are going through each other… Red. Red! RED! Red, help, help, please, my hands, I can't feel my hands, they're going through each other like… like… they're like ice water, Red, I can't, oh god, oh god…
Huh… huh… huh… Red… You know… you know that… that stupid magic trick your uncle would show you where he'd pull his thumb off, but it was really just his other one tucked under?
I just did that. With my real thumb. It didn't even hurt, it just came off. I think… Oh, god I'm gonna be sick. I-I- [Sounds of retching.] I think… I think it's just floating right now, and I can't even pick it up, my hand just passes through it, oh god, oh god, I-I-
My left pinky feels like… an onion.
Yeah, it's separated.
NICE TRY HELL, ring's on the RIGHT hand, nice try left.
I can… go… right through myself… I can… feel inside me.
It feels… warm.
But also cold.
When I sleep… my hands go in my head. I'm sleeping on my back now.
Static. I'm like static on a TV.
Chhhk. Chhhhk. Chhhk.
Ha. Hahahaha. Hahahahahahaha. Well, I-I-I only need one kidney, right? RIGHT? RED, RED LOOK AT THIS! Haha. Hahahahahaha…
Let me keep my heart, just my heart, that's all I want.
Lucy. David. Are you there? I want to see you.
Lucy. David. That's not fair. Come on, hey, quit messing around, I was joking when I said that, I was joking. COME ON, THAT'S FUCKED UP, I WAS JOKING.
I'm a man, be a man, Robert, you're a man, WHAT THE FUCK.
Anna… Annaaaa…
Four years, six months, eighteen days.
I'm not… I'm not even doing it myself anymore. I can… feel it happening on its own… Finally. Finally, I can… I still can't say it… I'm… I'm still scared…
I… definitely won't eat anymore now…
Still really hungry.
That is fucking disgusting, Robert, and you know it. NO. SEE, RED THINKS SO TOO. NO.
This little piggie went to market.
This little piggie went… somewhere.
This little… foot. Foot… RED?!
Five years, 13 days.
Haha.
Hahahahahahaha
Hahahahahahahahahaha.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Five years, 14 days.
Five years, 15 days.
Five years, 15 days.
Five years, 15 days.
Five years, 15 days.
Five years, 15 days.
Five years, 15 days.
Five years, 15 days.
Stop it, you're hurting me.
Five years, 19 days.
I'm feeling better now, red, sorry.
How do you do it, red? Keep it together? Spill it out, I need some help here… I need some help…
Red. Come on. Don't do that. Don't go. I know it's hard. I know it's dark. But-but- it's dark and we're together still. Come on. Red. No. No. You-you can't. RED! Come on, buddy, stay with me, Red! Come on! I can still touch you! I CAN STILL TOUCH YOU LOOK AT ME RED YOU ARE NOT DYING YET NO RED NO!
[No audio is recorded for the next 9 months.]
Five years, nine months, two days.
Red?
Five years, nine months, three days.
Five years, nine months, three days.
Five years, nine months, three days.
Five years, nine months, three days.
Five years, nine months, three days.
Five years, nine months, three days.
Five years, nine months, three days.
Five years, nine months, three days.
[Automated message repeats 97 more times.]
You little shit, I thought you left me… [Dr. Scranton's voice is barely audible/coherent, as if through a heavily distorted, muted radio.]
Sorry to say, red, but… there's not much left here… I… it's been hard. I've… 184. I've tried to kill myself 184 times. It didn't work. …None of them worked. I'm… I don't even know how much there is of me anymore. At least one foot, because I can move. Probably a few leg muscles too, but I'm wobbly. Insides are… insides are shit. Still a heart, maybe a lung. This place… really won't let me stop… Tired…
I… did die, red. Come on red, don't look at me like, I don't want your pity and I don't want shock, or anger, or fear, or, or… I can't… When… 224, I miscounted…
One, two, three, four… [Dr. Scranton counts from one to 220-245 several times over for the next 13 hours.]
I died. I died, a lot. I tried to suffocate, I tried to snap my neck, I tried to bite myself apart. And… and… This place. It's not real. I left, I saw myself, on the ground and I couldn't— I couldn't— I couldn't go anywhere. I couldn't leave. There's no way to leave, I just floated back down, and each, damn, time, there was less and less of me. I-I- oh, god, how much more can I take away and still live?
So why are… why are you back now? What do you want to tell me?
Five years, nine months, twelve days.
Heh…
This place is getting smaller. Red, did you somehow do this? I… there's an end here for sure now. It's gone from… god knows how long to… There's like a veil further out and when I touched it hurt like hell. Red, what's going on?
It's… it's not dark. That border or whatever is getting brighter and, I mean, it's still fucking dark but… oh god, I can actually see something now. I…I… oh, god, what the fuck is this? I… oh, god, I didn't know I was this bad. Oh, god, oh god, oh god, there's so much gone—
Five years, ten months, ten days.
Red, you're solid. Like, no, you're really fucking solid. You're… you're real. And… and… I'm real too when… only when I touch you. But… Red, it… it really hurts when I do. I… I think that if I touch you I might fall apart…
You — really fucking hurt, Red, Jesus Christ, you hurt, what the fuck is going on?
About three kilometer in radius, and closing. Is this… is this something like Kejel's Fourth Law? But… but… what the hell is taking it? Hey! HEY! I'm in here still stop! You're causing a collapse! HEY! HEY!
Two kilometers. Oh god, what's gonna happen when it closes? DAMMIT, RED YOU HURT!
Not collapsing. Waves. They're… waves… What?
Robert, you are a goddamn genius. Not walls, windows. Open windows.
Five years, ten months, twenty-eight days.
Anna, Anna can you hear me? These waves… this place… Okay, imagine, two realities as two pieces of paper stuck together. This place is the space squished between. There should be only two realities, parallel, but this place is a tiny, but infinite third… third… in-between, like what would happen if you fell into a hole crossing a bridge from Point A to Point B! Remember Class-C Wormholes? Those theories about a wormhole that was full of goddamn holes. I think… I think this is where one of those holes leads. It doesn't lead to a different universe, it leads to nothing. A dead end. This place is a dead end. Class-C "Broken Entry".
These waves. Wherever they're coming from, they're from some parallel reality interacting with this place, displacing this in-between place every so slightly. And they're all… pushing on me and red, because since we still have some level of reality, they're pushing, or… or sucking us towards them, gradually creating a new wormhole towards… towards… home.
What's going to happen to me when I go back? When the window closes?
Think, dammit, Robert, think. You've got to think! Think harder! THINK HARDER!
Red, I'm gonna, ah, I'm gonna have to, Jesus- gah, I'm gonna have to move away from you, you, I don't know, you're sick or something, you're really messed up right now. Call me when you're feeling better.
…I can't… I can't think… right… Blood. Blood. There's… way… too much… ha…
Drip, drip, drip, where does it allllllll…. gooooooooooooo… [Retching noises.]
I haven't… [Retching noises.] tasted barf in forever. Not even when I threw up after my… my… you're a man, Robert.
Oh, god. Oh god not again, not again, not again— [Retching.]
[Voice breaks.] How…? How…? How can I be throwing up this much, red, tell me… I don't… [Retching.] I don't even have a stomach to hold it in anymore… And the bleeding never… stops… [Dr. Scranton breaks down into crying for the next two hours.]
Be- [Retching.] better… now. Thinking.. straight…
Red, I… I don't know if I'm ready to go back anywhere yet…
Five years, eleven months, three days.
No, red, I'm not being selfish, it wasn't you, it was these goddamn waves coming in. I can't be near them. Red, look, look at me. See this? Red, look at me. LOOK. I can't be near them, they'll kill me. I passed the three years quite a while back, remember?
Because, even… even after all this time… I don't want to die, red. I'm still scared. [Voice breaks.] Red, I am scared, okay? You wouldn't understand, you're not… you're not human, red.
Oh I'm sorry for offending you, red. No, red, come on, I didn't mean it like that. Red, look at me. You're my friend, do you get that? You are, my best friend. But… let's face it, you've got a much better chance of getting out of here a—…. Just leave me alone, please, red? Just for a bit… I'm sorry, okay? I really am…
Can you… hear the waves coming in, red? That little hum and shake as it hits your ears? I can. And it's getting louder every time, and it hurts so bad. [Begins to sob quietly.] It hurts so bad.(4)
No… No, no, no, no, no… NO. NO. NO. Why? Why?! Just let me go, let me go… LET ME GO DAMMIT, oh god… [Sobbing.]
[Sobbing groan.] Another five years. Five more years. If this keeps up, I'm getting re-stabilized for another FIVE FUCKING GODDAMN YEARS, RED WHAT DO I DO?!
[Over the next five days, the control panel does begin to pick up a low frequency hum that comes in pulses. The volume increases steadily, and as it does, Dr. Scranton can be heard screaming, crying, and speaking incoherently in the background.]
[Voice is noticeably shaky.] Red.
[At this point the background humming noise is picked up at a rate of 20 pulses/min.]
Five years, eleven months, nine days.
Help. [Loud splattering noise heard as something strikes what is assumed to be the control panel.]
[Complete silence for five days. Pulses increase in volume, as well as frequency to 30 per minute.]
[Loud splattering noise.]
Red. [Dr. Scranton's voice is extremely slurred, almost incomprehensible.]
Red.
Red, give me your leg, I need support.
Red, give me your lever, arm. HAND!
Red, I need to see better, give me your light, no sorry, no, no light needed, got it, sorry, something else.
Anna.
I want pretty eyes. Anna, Anna, give me your eye, I only have one.
Anna, Anna, give me your lips, I want to kiss you again.
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