#idk there are so many things i dont partake in in life and i dont act all incredulous and extra about them

[petxina]

can you all stop talking like youre literal aliens. oh my god human behavior right…..

#idk there are so many things i dont partake in in life and i dont act all incredulous and extra about them #but when it comes to sex its the one thing people online never know how to be normal about #its not cute

[hofftrans]

Getting real comfortable unfollowing and/or blocking blogs that only use political activism as a way to give themselves a feeling of like moral hierarchy. Like I think it's something we all struggle w to an extent, there's this long held concept of "I can only feel that I am good if I have someone bad to compare myself to" and in a terrifying world with so many terrible, terrible things going on in it I so understand the desire to be sure in the knowledge that you are a good person.

But part of kindness and community and compassion is being able to communicate patiently and empathetically with others, and so often I see posts or tags on this site that could be incredibly informative and create real change if they weren't written like somebody trying to get a mic drop moment instead of trying to get people to change and grow.

This is not to say minorities need to or should be polite to their oppressors, that's absolutely not the message of this post and I wanna clarify that to avoid a "love pancakes = hate waffles" situation.

The message of this post is about the amount of posts on here that bring up any issue in the world at all and phrase it as "not that any of you give a shit" or "and no one fucking cares" or "reblogging this is literally the least you can do" or "but I know you'll just ignore this so fuck you"

Like idk I just feel like we've accidentally recreated protestant values and catholic guilt over the idea of actual change, as well as the dangers involved in like "you should know to do the right thing because you're SCUM IF YOU DONT" instead of going "here's some education or a way to help" and then responding that way once someone refuses growth or change.

I'm going to try and practice what I preach here by explaining one of the reasons I think this is so dangerous without insisting you're a monster for not knowing: a large amount of the population suffers from obsessive compulsive disorder, and one of the major ways ocd can present itself is ocpd or as my mates and I have come to call it "ethical ocd." Ethical ocd (in vague terms bc I'm not a doctor) is the extreme anxiety/fear/obsession over being morally wrong or a bad person and sufferers often feel the need to prove absolutely that they are good and can often feel the need to self harm or partake in dangerous behaviour if they make any mistakes or have an intrusive thought of a violent or hurtful nature. I know this because I've suffered from this a lot throughout my life, and as a teenager I spent many years away from tumblr due to how the moral hierarchy culture here was just like pouring fuel directly onto an open bonfire. This is obviously an issue many people don't know about and I get that, I feel no judgement towards them for that. I'm just pleading with people to consider whether their activism on here is coming purely from a place of actually wanting to help people improve their behaviour and improve the world we live in or if it comes from a much deeper need to feel sure and right in yourself, which again is not something that is a moral failure or makes you a monster, just something I really hope people can get help with before it spirals into a more and more harmful behaviour

#sorry for the length of this post im just getting a bit tired and sad seeing the amount of people on here who are fighting for good causes! #but are doing so with the exact same energy my RE teacher gave when she told me if i did something hurtful i would BURN IN HELL #instead of explaining to me that the thing i was doing hurts other people and trust in that first instance that i as a humam being want to #do the kind and right thing without being threatened or shamed into doing so

[skunkes]

wrt last reblog I also saw something recently that resonated with me, adjacent to it.

OP of the video im talking about explained that making friends is hard as an adult, but what if you finally make a friend and after a few hangouts you realize you dont actually like them? She goes on to say that she doesn't want to be friends with people she only Kind Of likes, because she had to do that all through her teenage years (likely at school).

But meeting people you instantly click with and have foundations for a real friendship is rare, so what are you supposed to do? Friend-break-up with someone? That's just rude. But having to maintain friendship with someone you only sort of like is also exhausting...

I made a new, quickly very close friend recently and was talking about dis to them, I talked about how I struggle making friends but after seeing some people's online circles I'm okay with that. Because I don't know how people juggle having so many acquaintances/Not Actual Friends. I could never do that. I want my time to go to myself and others I love and not having to either find excuses for plans I don't actually want to partake in or feel like I have to hang out with acquaintances for "maintenance" or to "reset the required hangout timer."

Hoping that doesnt sound Evil...having to do that with acquaintances is just one of those Life things, its normal but I'd prefer not have to do it more than I have to...ykwim

And how do you tell someone "um well its not that i dont like you but I cant imagine our friendship ever deepening to a point where im super comfortable with you and actively want to spend lots of time with you sooo bye!"

Not every friendship needs to be like that btw, acquaintances are important but one would rather just have more time to spend with the people they DO connect with better.

Also acquaintance doesn't automatically mean bad! I have acquaintances that I enjoy talking to and hanging out with even though we wont ever be Besties, I guess this post was more focused on acquaintances where the feeling is more like. They like you way way way more than you like them...

Idk. Last post reminded me of that. Its hard to make friends and I also dont seek it out because Id rather not have to also forever juggle a sea of pushy acquaintances while searching for the deep connections (which I'm so lucky to have found more often, by chance. Guess I just have to keep waiting around to get lucky.)

Meeting people you can actually connect with DOES take so much energy and time. And its hard to just stop contacting the people you dont click with along the way sometimes. So much energy to maintain the same level of effort and emotional investment across multiple different relationships when I'd rather just be deepening bonds with the people I do have/finding more of those Exact Same Bonds. Idk!

Weird type of lonely. I dont want to be friends with people I only sort of like...

#talkys #long post #i hope this made sense

[alollinglaughingcat]

fuck you *warrior cat-ifies ur gay lego monkies*

i dont know why they were so easy to turn into warrior cats. truly it should not have been this easy. and yet... i already have an entire fucking plotline in my brain, ugh

blame this line: “Have you been running around with OTHER MENTORS?!” (vid linked)

yep! it’s Lego Monkie Kid but as Warrior Cats! i feel like their warrior names are pretty self explanatory lmao (Monkey King + Sun Wukong; shadow monkey + Six-Eared Macaque). but wait, you scream, MKpaw???? thats not a warrior name!!!

simpletons. in this AU, the legendary clans are distant history, long forgotten tales told to kits. so then why do they have warrior names? because Wukong (Monkeysun) and Macaque (Shadowear) were both born into the clans, and remain one of the few survivors of it. MK is a kittypet (or stray cat) who is enraptured by the tales of clancats that his friend-slash-father-figure Tang tells him. said stories involve a certain “long-tailed cat” named Monkeysun, the warrior who “stole the stars” and “lived forever.”

yep! Monkeysun stole the stars. Literally. Because in LMK everything is literal. Well, literal-ish. By stars, I mean the powers of StarClan granting lives. That’s how Monkeysun gained immortality in this AU - instead of stealing peaches, wine, and pills, he broke the Moonpool and granted himself a million lives. of course, this meant leaders could no longer gain their nine lives, and, understandably, many cats were upset, so of course, using what power they had left, the leader of StarClan (the Jade Emperor) buried Monkeypaw (he was an apprentice at the time) underneath the earth, in the tunnels, where he would roam and starve forever until all of his lives were gone.

course, that didnt happen, and Monkeypaw was freed to journey alongside the monk Tripitaki, who would be like a guardian cat or Sisters equivalent I suppose, and he and the other gang would partake in a journey to the west/sundrown place to find Buddha (a Rock or Midnight equivalent figure). why do the take the journey in this AU? honestly idk lmao.

anyway! what about Shadowear?? well, Monkeysun (who earns that name from Tripitaki) kills him when Shadowear attempts to kill Tripitaki, but! Even tho the power of the stars are gone, the Dark Forest still lurks, and the Lady Bone Demon (prob called Bonestar, formerly Bonelily or smthn) uses her powers to give Shadowear a life, resurrecting him, so long as he follows her rules...

similarly, the Mayor is able to possess cats like Ashfur, and wants to grant the power to his Lady but he needs to free her first, which is Shadowear’s purpose (it’ll have something to do with the Moonpool probably)

so flash forward to the present and MK finds Monkeysun’s stick (bcus of COURSE its a stick in this au lmao) and becomes his apprentice, training in the way of the warriors. Mei, ofc, joins him, and Pigsy is against it, while Tang is in awe. And Sandy’s supportive but wary with his own dark history (coughgangcatcoughBloodClancough). also yep Pigsy, Tang, and Sandy are still reincarnations, and Mei has the “dragon” ancestry still (the Samadhi fire stuff i dont have figured out yet, though it might be some magic Moonpool stuff instead maybe - oh also Nezha is the guardian of the Moonpool now, and maybe Chang’e is the guardian of the Moonstone? and DBK lives in the mountains and therefore guards the Tribe’s magic cave thing?)

also here’s some warrior names that wouldnt technically be canon to this au:

Pigsy -> Pigflower (why flower? because he cooks, and flowers are like herbs)

Pigsy’s first life/Zhu Bajie -> Boarbelly (bcus he eats people)

Sandy -> Bluesand (do i need to explain this one? not sure what JTTW Sandy/Sha Wujing’s name would be tho)

Tang -> Goldenshine or Brightshine or similar (once again not sure what his OG/Tripitaki’s name would be - maybe Goldensun to parallel Monkeysun?)

Mei -> Dragonblaze (”but Dragon isn’t-” FINE, Lizardblaze)

Ao Lie/White Horse Dragon -> ...Whitehorse? or Whiteflash

Demon Bull King -> Bullfang

Princess Iron Fan -> Windstorm, Windstream, Windbreeze, Breezestorm, etc.

Red Son -> Redflame

Nezha -> Ringfire, Lotusfire or Lotusheart

#posting on main but rbing to my waca blog cause i dont have a lmk blog lmao #warrior cats #lego monkie kid #lego monkie kid au #lego monkey king #lego monkie king #monkie kid #monkey king #sun wukong #journey to the west #six-eared macaque #macaque #shadowpeach #peachbuds #lmk au #lmk wc au #lmk waca au #lmk mk #qi xiaotian #rumble and savage #lmk wukong #wukong #macaque and wukong #wukong and macaque #wukong x macaque

[yuukei-yikes]

do you have any playlist or character thoughts for "song to go insane to" by elliotly? it reminds me of some of the relationship dynamics on this blog (particularly shintaro i think???) but i can't put my finger on what

HMMM well its lyrics seem too romantic to me for it to be shinene. others could be shinaya or kanoshin (shintaro always being the one in common💔yeah)

since it's kind of about losing who you are to the love u have for someone else or to the feeling of this person needing you, it does seem like shinene at first thought, but idk. it feels too romantic and it also sounds like the person singing is being protected by their partner? which doesn't fit a lot because ene doesn't necessarily "protect" shintaro, i think she... looks out for him. like there is something there that may fit but the Vibe is different. it's not shinene

not to mention by the end of the song it sounds like the character has done Atrocious Things. to be honest. and dont kill me for this. it reminded me of komahina from danganronpa. SORRY!!!!! SORRY.

anyways i think it fits shintaro and ayaki.

ayano's life is then tied to shintaro's (ok everyone's lives are but this ayano specifically is LIVING as one with shintaro) and the line implying the partner forgets the singer likeeee aughh i love shinyaki's (is that the name?) thing about "I'll wait until you remember me again" like. hehe.

in a lot of ways what keeps ayaki human is her love and that's also why she does everything she does... she was motivated by it and her continued existence comes from that love but she is still "cursed" to never partake in it again because there will be other ayanos to fill the role in the real world and there will be 1 ayano to live what ayaki fights for, it will never be her her.

ayaki is caused by love but she can never be loved back again. except by.... well, shintaro!!!!! and wouldn't it be so much easier for her if shintaro didn't insist to keep treating her as ayano? due to ayano's self hate i think as retaining eyes she insists she is just that, retaining, not ayano anymore. but shintaro doesn't agree with that and she doesn't have many arguments whenever they talk about it. and that's the thing, talking about it. talking. shintaro is her companion, shintaro is sort of.... her now. or rather, she is him. she exists with him for him to save everyone including herself but not exactly herself, another version of herself who is just as twisted and undeserving and girlflop as she is yet she makes it for some reason, while ayaki is cursed to just watch forever.

shintaro signs up for it even though having retaining really is like. the worst of the worst. even after they've won he will be haunted by all the memories

i like these lyrics too like. ayaki not loving that she has to basically torment shintaro but she is just doing her job it just so happens it's awful. and he needs to keep it together and do HIS job so idk. hehe.

all the lyrics from the middle of the song about apparently all of the partners friends worrying and the singer being the source of the problem is something that in this context I'd read as the mekadan being worried about the way shintaro keeps self sabotaging and just making a mess of things post str but it's due to grief and trauma that he's forced to just remember perfectly Because of retaining. idk if all this makes sense anyways i love asks like these

#ask tag #kagenalysis #??? maybes

[menalez]

Yeah sis that's the whole point that is literally the point you got the ace. We need to be strongly worded and take a stand, you can be endlessly nice and all that will do is make you a foot stool. You know who you support but you're afraid to speak and stand with other lesbians because you're afraid of the bisexual hate mob, this is exactly why their little pity tantrums work. They corner us into being nice and being afraid of them. Say enough is enough. Everyone knows all these points when talking about other oppressors but if you apply simple principles to bisexuals everyone shits the bed in fear. It may be hard to accept and it might get you piled on but it's not complicated.

idk i genuinely do think its more nuanced than what both extremes often say and ig to most im already more aligned w the lesbian side of the extremes rather than the bi side of extremes (despite me being imo quite neutral but obviously more vocal about lesbophobia for my own selfish reasons, being a lesbian n all).

like do i think lesbians have privilege over bi ppl? absoluely not. do i think biphobia exists as a form of systemic oppression? absolutely not. do i think biphobia is a commonly held form of prejudice on an interpersonal level? yeah. do i think gay ppl have power over bi ppl? no. do i think bi people often have power & privilege over gay ppl? in many cases, yes. do i think gay ppl can be hateful to bi ppl? yeah. do i think its on the same level as what hets direct @ bi ppl? no. do i agree that biphobia as a term is often directed at gay ppl who are being hateful (or not even hateful necessarily!) to bi ppl? yeah. im sure that both sides will disagree strongly with several of my stated opinions there! but after hearing both sides a lot i just... dont find the arguments convincing enough to change those opinions.

but ultimately, regarding your specific statements, i also don't think bi people are our primary oppressors, i dont think they have the same power as hets to oppress us and i think often when they do, a price they pay is rejecting an aspect of themselves & their sexuality. not that that minimizes the harm they cause us when they do take advantage of their privilege over us. i also dont think bisexuals are like supremely powerful that we can openly shit on hets but cant talk about bi people. i just think the dynamic and the approach is different bc bi people are still a minority group and an oppressed group, so ppl are more sensitive to criticism there than they are with criticsm towards hets. bc with hets is rly more black & white and straight forward whereas w bi people its unclear. many bi people are closer aligned to gay ppl than hets for example, and many live a life that doesn't afford them the privileges that bi people who primarly/exclusively date the opposite sex gain. even the ones who are more closely aligned w hets pay a price that hets dont have to, which is shown in the higher rates of DV and mental illness, alongside issues like poverty. this is why im not particularly & personally keen on such extreme statements anyways, bc i do genuinely believe its more complex than that. at the same time i dont take kindly to the implication that gay people have it better than bi people, or that gay people have it the same level of bad as bi people, or many more statements from the other extreme. i will admit that yes im also very hesitant to partake in this convo because regardless i will be dogpiled and regardless i gain nothing out of it and regardless no one's opinion will change, the actual things i say will not actually be heard, and ultimately ill be left to defend myself alone. all for a convo im not particularly passionate about either. i just dont see the point in it. i appreciate you admitting that youre intentionally provocative and all, but.. im just not fond of the response im bound to get from both sides. either way my sexuality is weaponised against me or dismissed, im dogpiled, and nothing changes. its a lose-lose lol and over what? its mostly an argument of semantics and doesnt rly do anything for either group.

[genesisz]

ive been thinking about religion a lot lately, whether i believe or not, what do i believe in? do i have to believe? do i want to believe? something my brother said to me when i was young was “you need to believe in something” back then i kinda thought that meant in any religion, just pick one, but later on i kinda figured that meant just not to follow what your parents or other people tell you, but that you truly believe it or feel something? im kinda confused abt how people go to church and listen to someone talk and pray, do they feel something? and maybe they dont but it at least works for them. it does not work for me, i dont feel anything, i kinda just listen and pick apart what they are saying and end up mad bc i disagree so i never even get to listen to the entire thing. i also cant take them seriously singing up there, sometimes they go hard fr, i be jammin but other times im like? do they really gotta do all that? but also that must work for them and thats great… just not for me. waking up to do that? no thank u. it just genuinely does not interest me, i dont care for it all. its not for me. its not something i want to do, spend my time on, i dont see the point. i truly dont see the point. out of so many religions, i dont want to continue to learn about christianity/catholicism, i just think theres so much more therefore why stick to one thing? not to say thats necessarily what you are doing when u partake in ur religion but if i were to invest my time into something i rather it be something new, not what i grew up with and not what surrounds me now. do i want to invest my time on a new religion? no, not a priority for me atm, i kinda dont even get it. are we…using this for guidance? following/educating/believing certain sentences to guide your life? i can definitely understand that part and get it, but the parts about God and the idea of worshiping essentially a man seems a bit crazyyyy…. i just cant do it man, which ofc not everyone is taking it that seriously….i think… idk… ive only been around people who r pretending to be serious about and people who are 100% about it, so yea ppl im surrounded by have influenced why idc, but ive tried giving it a shot, i just dont really feel like lying or being hypocritical anymore. i believe theres definitely more out there, and the possibility of Gods, for sure ( i prefer virgin mary if ima believe in anything its gonna be a woman! ) but also like im not gonna take it too seriously…. like… its not that serious… also when i say that like i fw w her but its not like im praying to her, i have and pray for others in the sense that i wish for such and such but like never for myself. i think thats still selfish maybe, but im jst not really saying Dios or someone just in a general sense, which works? why not? omg dont get me started on repenting, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN? i think we all hope bad people get whats coming to them but also mistakes are mistakes, youll be fineee you can have self awareness and apologize, living and learning is basically what youre doing but i rather do it w/o the extra stuff, AGAIN if it works for others thats great, i dont think its taken that seriously anymore unless ur a hardcore old person but again growing up and seeing it or being surrounded by it is just like ughhh whateverrrrr ill probably ask around to people my age to see the point of view but idk i think the guidance part is nice but maybe like reading it? not so much living it and going by it, bc well…. ima live my life and ima rot if i wanna rot, i just dont wanna take it so seriously, i feel like if you arent kinda serious abt it then whats the point? other than pleasing others or a lil hobby. i need someone to ask me questions to see figure out what i believe in bc i think i know i feel like i have some answers but also maybe i dont

idk tbh i lost my point tbh, but i believe in myself, one thing ima do is think it through and act or dont act ☝️

[im-miss-sugar-pink]

Hello,

Hope I'm not bothering you!

Tbh the dude you are talking about doesn't sound good, even if he may be attractive. And fornication isn't worth it one way or another. It will just break your heart.

On a different note: I saw you are going through a hard time, I'm praying for you. Hope you have someone to reach out and confide in who can help irl like friends, or therapist or a priest (or all of them :D). Remember, that you are loved no matter what. <3

thank you

in my heart i know you're completely right and i should 100% listen to you

but my head wants to destroy my body, and the wants of my body want to destroy my spirit and so far recently my head and desires are winning

--

as a long, rambling response:

i know that this guy is not going to be good for me and i know the last guy i was in a situationship with was bad for me and i know i should just stop doing this to myself. and i constantly think of this book i had as a kid called "the princess and the kiss" where basically her "kiss" was a magic glowing light and she saved it and saved it until a poor farmer boy came and told her he had one too that he had saved for her and then thats who she chose over her fancy suitors and they exchanged kisses and got married. i think about that a lot. but im no princess and i gave away what i have years ago. what am i now lol (i started crying just now remembering how much i wanted to be like the princess in this old kids' book and failed)

i just got out of the mental hospital for the THIRD time. third time. in two and a half years. im so tired. it's so much easier to let myself suffer than to actually do anything about it. getting better is difficult and sometimes i dont know if i want to. like. i have to. i have to because if He didn't want me to get better then God would have let me die by now and He would not have put such good people in my life, good people who make sure i end up in the hospital rather than a casket. but it's so hard. it's overwhelmingly difficult to believe that all the positive things i reblog apply to me as well as to everyone else. like oh yeah. im not the exception to the idea that everyone deserves love and mercy and grace. but it's so difficult to actually believe that.

ive been to Mass twice in the past two or three months. only twice. that's probably part of why i feel like shit but i feel so terrible that i feel undeserving of even entering a church? it sucks. then im like. yah i should go to confession. ok good in theory. but ive got this thought stuck in my head like i Know im going to end up partaking in these shitty habitual sins again and again so like why should i say to God that im going to do my best to avoid these sins when i know i wont end up doing that no matter how much i mean it. also it's difficult to get to confession? like im usually busy during or forget about the scheduled times for them and then asking for a priest to hear my confession before Mass is always anxiety-inducing and difficult to do when you don't feel like you can even enter a church.

almost nothing im doing is good for me. and idk how much i care. jk i do care but i dont want to care. i was talking to someone about how i cry all the time because i have so many feelings and everything matters too much, and they were all like well i shut down all my feelings when it gets too hard. that must be nice at times. i feel everything so deeply and can't cut that part of me off and it's overwhelming.

please keep praying for me I don't know how much longer i can do this

#im destroying myself mentally emotionally physically spiritually #if it's able to be crushed im crushing it #it hurts #it hurts so much #but it's easier to let it hurt than to try to heal #i speak

[in-christalone]

Holy shit. Holy. Shit. No wonder you act and think the way you do. I didn’t even consider political views, as most Christians on here don’t partake in bashing either side. Furthermore, if someone’s views are Republican, that’s fine I bet they are a decent human. But the minute someone starts throwing out “leftist” or “marxist”, you immediately lose all credibility or defense from being called a conservative. And after all the ignorant shit you post, your miserable past pre-god being gay and a slut or whatever it is you claim lmao, your pathetic present living with your parents at almost 30 no legitimate eduction and no life partner, and your nonexistent future, you being a conservative would make sense. Sheeeesssh I feel so much better knowing that 😂😂 Really though, it makes sense why you don’t respond to legitimate logic or actual rebuttals, your high horse is in the clouds, and you sound like a miserable human whose entire existence is based on the fucking past lmaoooo why do you even think Lutheranism is the “right” Christianity, cus mommy and daddy told you so? Bro there’s so many forms it’s so funny to think that out of every version, YOURS is the right one😂. Like y’all reading the same book arent you? Isn’t it just who has the best interpretation wins? genuinely sad how delusional you are (and to be fair most religious people, regardless of religion. I dont buy into that shit).

Don’t bother responding, you literally have nothing to say back except some weird bullshit I’m sure. I just want you to know, at least one person on this earth, thinks that you are an absolute waste. You may not care or you may. Idk and I don’t care if you blow off my ask or not. If hell is real, I’ll fucking see you there because there is no way someone as foul as you is “forgiven” by your god. Pray harder.

I'm really not sure which post brought this on..? I don't believe I have ever typed out the words 'leftist or marxist' . I don't consider myself to be political, though I certainly do hold conservative views, I prefer to say instead that I have Biblical views. If the conservative side has something they believe in that is against the Bible's beliefs, I will without hesitation be on the side of the Bible.

I know you were trying to hurt me with this post but rest assured, I take no offense in your words, if there's one of the many things God has done through me that I am grateful for, it's adopting this view;

Galatians 1:10 For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

And there should be no forgiveness for anyone! No one is worthy to be forgiven, especially me. God has been too gracious and sweet to those who have done nothing but curse Him all the day long. The plan of salvation is truly a wonder that should put us in awe. A hardened criminal given freedom when they deserve the highest punishment? The judge Himself taking the punishment we deserve unto Himself? That is truly a mystery..

There's so many points to reply to here, so I apologize if this seems out of order, maybe we can have a discussion instead where I can properly respond to you in a way that you are satisfied?

[godsporncollection]

Saturday GC Sessions Summary

Topics, quotes, and summaries of the talks given in the Saturday sessions of the fall 2020 General Conference (with occasional commentary in parenthesis)

*This is (mostly) written from a TBM pov, so I’ve glossed over many... unsavory things. That said, if you’re gonna quote this, definitely proofread it first because I occasionally switch to exmo pov. 

Sunday Sessions (long version)

Sunday Sessions (shorter version)

Russel M Nelson

Hopeful, holy bullshit/look at all the spiritually awesome stuff we're doing/gonna do. (idk, there didn't really seem to be much of a talk there)

David A Bednar

Tests in school are as important as the tests of us living on earth. 

"Prove, examine, and try."  

"If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear." 

Susan and I looked over our food storage and learned that we did well in most areas, but found some expired things we were afraid would unleash another global pandemic. 

Remember, when loved ones die, and you don't know why, god does. It's a lesson in faith. 

Scott D Whiting

How to be more like christ. 

Wife and I were in Japan, hiking up a mountain; it was hard because altitude. 

One step at a time is how we become more like christ. 

Honesty is important, honesty with ourselves.

You can ask others how they view you, but god is a better person to ask, with his perfect view of us. 

REPENT! to be the best version of ourselves. Change your heart and mind to be like christ. 

Choose one attribute to focus on at a time. Constantly ask god for help, but don't be selfish. 

"Be the tide that raises all boats in the harbor." 

Recognize that desired attribute in others. Put in a lot of effort. 

Caution- don't feel guilty, unworthy, or unloved; that is not what life is about. 

You are good enough and loved, but that doesn't mean you're a perfect version of yourself.

Michelle D Craig

Story of Elijah for allegory of struggling to see how god is in your life. 

Wait and trust in god. Pray for the lord to open your eyes. Understand how god sees you. 

Ask yourself: what am I doing that I should stop and what should I be doing? 

Stop looking at your phone. I think it's a good time to multitask, but the spirit told me to stop and the next day, while in line at the grocery store, I looked at the people around me instead. I saw old man and struck up a conversation with him based on what was in his cart (cat food). He said it was his birthday so I wished him a happy birthday. This guy needed me to see him. 

A story of a friend who separated from her husband and hoped nobody would talk to her at church. A young woman kept looking back at her and came up to her after sacrament meeting. The young woman told her she loved her and they became friends and it helped her because she felt noticed and cared about. 

Ask god to help you see others and act to affirm their lives. This is how we identify our own purpose.

Quentin L Cook

Righteousness. Female followers of brigham young found career opportunites in Utah and friends in the native americans. (Gave a whole bullshit Utah thanksgiving story, complete with rewriting history so white people can feel better about themselves for feeding the natives). There is unity in respect. Historically, we have not been perfect, but that is the goal. We don't need to have all the blessings of god to be righteous. Love god and fellow man to live in eternal peace and happiness with god. "Historical record" in 1 nephi shows there were no happier people because of righteousness. But then that society was destroyed so much that mormon asked how they would avoid punishment. We live in that latter time, not unity. Our challenge is to lift and bless society as a whole. Demonstrated by ethnic harmony and an all inclusive doctrine. Unity and diversity are not opposites. All races and colors are children of god. Laws written in god's chosen land (US) were written by imperfect men, but inspired by god for equal treatment of all men. Remember that we were onced very opressed because we wanted to share jesus' love. If you are not united, you are not god's children. Gosple culture is greater than regional cultures. We honor pioneers because of their struggles.

Ronald A Rasband

Supplying the world with temples is a holy duty. 

Sacred ordinaces lead to exaltation. 

"Temples rise above the ways of the world. Every temple... stand as testaments to our faith and eternal life and the joy of spending it with our families and heavenly father. They increase understanding of the godhead and the everlasting gospel and commitment to live and teach truth and our willingness to follow the example of jesus." 

I learned an important lesson while visiting my father in law as he was dying; that temple recommends are important, even while dying. 

The worthiness interview "is not about do's and dont's. It is about finding your worthiness and to testify of your devotion to the gospel teachings." 

(I stopped paying attention for a while.) 

Hunter said his biggest desire was to have every member hold a temple recommend. 

Come get yo rec's! "Whether you have access to a temple or not, it is still important to remain and prove your worthiness." 

(I'm really struggling to pay attention to this guy and holy shit he stressed "be patient" while I was typing that.)

Dallin H Oaks

"The lord's teachings are for eternity and for all of god's children." 

My examples will be US-centric, but I'm sure that the issues the US face are universal, right? 

Destrucitve behavior in political statements are not good. 

Remember that JC said to love your enemies. Contention is of the devil, not JC. It isn't easy. Seek and ye shall find the strength to love. 

Follow the laws of man. 

Nobody can make us angry, it is our choice to be angry. 

(Reference to The King and I-) learn about other people's culture. 

Don't participate in rioting. 

Wait, he's supporting the first ammendement- oh, the stress here is on the word "peaceful". We must do better to end racism. But remember to be peaceful! No violence. Anarchy is evil. Lincoln said "there is no greivance that is a fit object of redress by mob law". It undermines individual rights, not protects. 

The US was started by diverse people! We're inherintly diverse! Here's a diverse (british) example!

AFTERNOON SESSION

D Todd Christofferson

There's a 2030 sustainable development agreement thingy. It's got 17 goals including- no poverty, no hunger, quality education, gender equality, clean water and sanitation, and decent work. It is interesting and important. 

More important is a sustainable society. 

Two biblical examples: 1. The city of enoch. They were of one heart and one mind. 2. The 1st generations of nephites an lamanites. No envies nor strifes. No murders or lying. No happier people than them. Love thy neighbor. Every man seeking the interests of his neighbor. Virtues uphold these societies. 

Then they became exceedingly wicked and millions died in wars amongst themselves. 

"When people turn from a sense of accountability to god and begin to trust instead in the arm of flesh (?)", disaster lurks. 

A good life is more important than a long life. 

I'm so fucking blessed, so this really isn't a good topic for me, but here we are. 

The light of christ is what uneducated people call a consience. 

"When one has no higher god than himself, and seeks no greater good than satisfying his own appetites and preferences, the effects will be manifest in due course. A society, for example, in which individual consent is the only constraint on sexual activity is a society in decay. Adultery, promiscuity, elective abortion and out of wedlock births are but some of the bitter fruit that grow out of the immorality sanctioned by the sexual revolution." This leads to poverty and fatherless families, sometimes in multiple generations, and deficient education and mental destruction. 

"Our joyous message is that there is a better way through god... (the core truths of this message are) god lives, he is the heavenly father of our spirits, that as a manifestation of his love, he's given us commandments that lead to a fullnes of joy with him, that JC is the son of god and our redeemer, that he suffered and died to atone for sins on condition of our repentance, that he rose from the dead, bringing to pass the resurrection of human kind, and that we will all stand before him to be judged."

Steven J Lund

My son had cancer. It was hard. He was in lots of pain, but still wanted to go to church even when his mom suggested he stay home. He knew he inspired others when they saw him there, representing the savior by willingly suffering to serve. 

All youth programs are there to help them be more like JC. 

They are surrounded by things that keep helping them do that, but they're still making mistakes, so parents and leaders need to step up (potterheads grab your wands).

Gerrit W Gong

Family of 10 is hated by neighbors, nobody likes them until their house burns down. Then they were showed kindness, hope, and understanding by their neighbors helping them. 

"Our 2020 bicentenniel proclamation begins with the profoundly inclusive promise that god loves his children in every nation of the world. Each of us in every nation... god promises covenants, and invites us to come partake of his abundant joy and goodness. God's love for all people is affirmed throughout scripture that love encompasses the abrahamic covenent, gathering his scattered children, and his plan of happiness. In the house of faith, there are to be no strangers, no foreigners, no rich and poor, no outside others. As fellow citizens with the saints, we're invited to help the world for the better, from inside out; one person, one family, one neighborhood at a time. This happens when we share the gospel." 

Church materials are available in many regions and languages. We're gonna focus on that for a while. (And I stopped paying attention again. This dude is boring af. And I have a high threshold for boring right now) 

Talking about how members do charity work.

W Christopher Waddell

Some kid said it was the greatest day of his life to meet this guy who talks to the profit a couple of times a week. The story is given with the obvious topic of "we thank thee oh god for a prophet". 

Prophets tell us to prepare for crisis. 

We understand your struggles and want to express that there are better days ahead. Church leaders can help you. 

The lord loves effort. 

Have stores of food and money, but don't go to extremes in your efforts to establish those things. 

We have a brochure on finances with quotes from people about how god will provide. 

Remember Joseph in Egypt. 

"All things are spiritual to the lord and not at any time has he given us a law which is temporal." 

Manage your finances and have food storage.

Matthew S Holland

The feeling of Alma remembering his sins are as painful as passing a kidney stone (?!). 

Repentance will bring us relief. 

We have no idea how bad our suffering will be if we don't repent. 

"Medical science, professional counseling or legal rectification can help alleviate such suffering but note, all good gifts including these, come from the savior. Regardless [of] the causes of our worst hurt or heartaches, the ultimate source of relief is the same: JC. He alone holds the full power and healing balm to correct every mistake, right every wrong, adjust every imperfection, mend every wound, and deliver every delayed blessing." 

When you feel like nobody could understand your suffering, remember that jesus can. 

"Suffering in righteousness helps qualify your for, rather than distinguishes you from, god's elect."

William K Jackson

An Indian dude didn't want to turn his back on his culture in order to convert with the rest of his family. But JC was able to open his eyes to a different viewpoint. 

Our original culture is the culture of Adam and Enoch. It is the greatest of all cultures. There is no "us v them" mentality in the greatest of all cultures. 

"We believe that we are responsible and accountable for ourselves, each other, the church, and our world. Faith in JC is the first principle of our culture, and obedience to his teachings and commandments is the outcome.” 

“It is a culture of covenants and ordinances, high moral standards, sacrifice, forgiveness, repentance, and caring for the temple of our bodies. It is a culture of the preisthood, the authority to act in god's name, the power of god to bless his children. It edifies and enables individuals to be better people, leaders, mothers, fathers, and companions- and it sanctifies the home. In the culture of christ, women are elevated to their proper and eternal status. They are not subservient to men, as in many cultures in today's world, but full and equal partners here and in the world to come.” 

“The family is the basic unit of eternity. The perfection of the family is worth any sacrifice" because, as has been taught, "no other success can compensate for failure in the home." 

This culture is concerned with things of lasting worth. 

It is inclusive, not exclusive. 

"Because this culture results from the application of our savior's teachings, it helps provide a healing balm of which our world (cue crying) is in such desperate need. What a blessing it is to be a part of this grand and (voice wavering) *noble* way of life. The church is hardly a western society or an american cultural phenomenon. it is an international church, as it was always meant to be. New members from around the world bring richness, diversity, and excitement into our ever-growing family!" (hallelujah!) 

Indian dude joined the church, of course. 

"What a marvelous heritage (quiet sob) we all share!"

Dieter F Uchtdorf

Because of a threat from the US military, the SLC temple was buried during constrution. When the threat had passed, they excavated it and found that many stones in the foundation had cracked and were replaced. "Finally, the saints could sing How Firm a Foundation and know their holy temple was built on a foundation that would last for generations.” 

“This story can teach us how god uses adversity to bring about his purposes." Which is an appropriate topic these days.

We mourn with those who have lost loved ones to covid. 

"My message today is that even though this pandemic is not what we wanted or expected, god has prepared his children and his church for this time." 

We will do more than survive, we will move forward and we will be better as a result. 

We are like seeds that must be buried before they can sprout. "The love of god and blessing of the restored gospel of JC will bring something unimaginable to spring forth." 

Hardships strengthen our character. 

"What we learn from biblical examples? 1. The righteous are not given a free pass that allows them to avoid the valleys of shadow... 2. Our heavenly father knows that we suffer, and because we are his children, he will not abandon us..." 

"Our best days are ahead of us, not behind us. This is why god gives us modern revelation." 

(I stopped paying attention during an aviation allegory.) 

Stories of new/potential converts going to appointments early because of excitement. "Our missionaries are busier than ever."

WOMEN'S SESSION

Sharon Eubank

Story of a kid rewarded with his favorite pie for doing chores. He was selfish when his sister asked if she and her friend could have some because they didn't earn it, but changed his mind later. This showed that he was willing to change and show kindness to those who didn't deserve it. 

"By union of feeling, we obtain power with god." 

I don't like this world. It sucks and I want to make it better and sometimes I feel powerless, but I have done lots of soul searching and have three suggestions. 

1. Have mercy. Jacob 2:17, but replace the word "substance" with the word "mercy". We need more mercy in our ministering. "If you would have god have mercy on you, have mercy on each other." 

2. Make your boat swing. Rowing definition: "swing" is when all are rowing in such perfect unison that not a single action is out of sync. Somehow, individuality is crucial to this; clones couldn't do it. "Differences can be turned to advantage instead of disadvantage." This makes you go fast and they won because of that. 

3. Clear away the bad as fast as the good can grow. Jacob 5: good tree is planted in good ground but was corrupted. A servant asks that the tree be given another chance and then the tree grows good fruit. JC is like the owner of the vinyard, and gives us mercy, if we can give it to each other. 

"I believe the change we seek in ourselves and in the groups we belong to will come less by activism and more by actively trying every day to understand one another" because we're building zion. 

As women, we have broad influence to remove prejudice and build unity. "I offer this invitation: be part of a collective force that changes the world for good." We're supposed to help others. "The women of this church have the potential to change society."

Rebecca M Craven

(I... I can't focus on this woman long enough to piece together what the fuck she's saying. Sorry.) 

I think the overall topic is changing yourself to atone/repent.

Cristina B Franco

This year has given us many surprises that have left us broken. 

Personal story about getting a piano. One of the delivery guys slipped and broke it. The delivery guys went back to arrange the delivery of a new piano, but her husband asked if it could just be repaired instead. The manager said "the wood is broken, and once the wood is broken, it can never sound the same." 

We are like the broken piano, feeling broken and that we'll never be the same again. "However, as we come unto JC by exercising faith in him, repenting, and making and keeping covenants, our brokenness, whatever it's cause, can be healed [by the savior's healing power to make us better than we were.]." Faith in god heals us. 

Story of Alma where god promised to ease their burdens. 

(Really long quote  from Alma that she doesn't source). 

The savior is a refuge from the storm. 

(Is there a rule that women can't have more than 20% original content in their talks? What is with all the quotes from other people, with barely anything to make them relate to each other?)

THAT'S MY HIGH SCHOOL CHOIR TEACHER DIRECTING THE SEPT 2014 CHOIR!!!

Bonnie H Cordon

JC is the light and the life of the world; the light that shines in the darkness. 

Shit's been hard these last few months, but we see you praying and working hard to seek out JC.

Video

Gloomy shit and then "inspiring/soothing" pics of JC, then those same gloomy people are shown being happy while doing normal, everyday stuff. Lots of black people to show diversity and even a deaf woman signing in a video chat on her phone. (It's driving me crazy that i can't remember the song that's playing.) Then back to a pic of JC.

Henry B Eyring

"Every day we are approaching closer to the glorious moment when the savior JC will come to earth again." 

"As the beloved daughters of heavenly father, and as the daughters of the lord JC in his kingdom, you will play a crucial part in the grand times ahead." 

Prepare to live as the people in the city of enoch did. 

Another unsourced quote of "what will happen in this last dispensation of the fulness of times": (was that wording really necessary?) dark skies, earthquakes, etc, but chosen people will be fine. They'll all be gathered into one place (that we could... maybee.... do something to? jk. unless...?). 

Women will be at the heart of creating that society. 

Quotes about the importance of women and the relief society. 

Quotes about how pure and faithful the city of Enoch was. 

"My experience has taught me that heavenly father's daughters have a gift to allay contention and to promote righteousness with their love of god and with the love of god they engender in those they serve." (fuck you) 

Seeing a household without a preisthood member gave me glimpse of zion because the women were supportive and loving.

Why is it Oaks again?

"In the world, ye shall have tribulation, but be of good cheer, i have overcome the world." 

Today, "we are also troubled on every side, and we also need that same message not to despair, but to be of good cheer." 

JC knows your wants and fears. 

"Be of good cheer." 

"Be of good cheer." 

"Be of good cheer." 

Opposition is essential (anyone know of that musical 'my turn on earth' or am i just old? I've got 'opposition' stuck in my head). 

Shit sucks right now. Covid and election shit, the election shit is bad "the most severe many of the oldest of us can ever remember." People are dealing with "the many adversities of mortality: poverty, racism, sickness, job loss, wayward children, bad/no marriages, and the effects of sin" but "be of good cheer." (broken record much?) 

Poor JS had lots of adversities! But he still managed to "maintain his native cheery temperament and the love and loyalty of his people." The pioneers had it hard, too, but they still "were of hope and good cheer." 

(If I heard this right) The orignal missionaries were sent out for up to 7 years. 

The presidency loves you and cares about you and we pray for you (y'all should look up 'ill pray for you' by Jaron Lowenstein, btw. i promise it's hilarious). 

"There is boundless power in the doctrine of the restored gospel of JC. Our unshakeable faith in that doctrine guides our steps and gives us joy. It enlightens our minds and gives strength and confidence to our actions. This guidance and enlightenment and power are promised gifts we have recieved from our heavenly father. By understanding and conforming our lives to that doctrine, including the divine gift of repentance, we can be of good cheer as we keep ourselves on the path of eternal destiny, reunion, and exaltation with our loving heavenly parents." (sidenote- I typed that quote really fast with very few mistakes and I'm very proud of myself. I'm sure I've never typed that fast and correctly in my life.)

Russel M Nelson

Shit's been hard and different than normal. 

We greive with the women who have experienced loss. 

Social media is evil for young women, but "many of you have found ways to encourage others and share our savior's light." 

The future gonna be lit, yo. 

"If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear." 

"Moroni prepared his people in three essential ways:”

“1. He helped them create areas where they would be safe; places of security, he called them.” "Create a home that is a place of security." 

“2. He prepared the minds of the people to be faithful unto the lord.”  "Each time we have the faith to be obedient to god's laws, even when popular opinions belittle us, or each time we resist entertainment or ideaologies that celebrate covenant breaking, we are exercising our faith, which in turn increases our faith." "Life without god is a life filled with fear. Life with god is a life filled with peace." 

“3. He never stopped preparing his people; physically or spiritually." "The adversary never stops attacking, so we can never stop preparing. The more self-reliant we are, temporally, emotionally, and spiritually, the more prepared we are to thwart satan's relentless assualts." 

"We have so much to look forward to. The lord placed you here, now, because he knew you had the capacity to negotiate the complexities of the latter part of these latter days. He knew you would grasp the grandeur of his work and be eager to help bring it to pass. I am not saying that the days ahead will be easy, but I promise you that the future will be glorious for those who are prepared, and those who continue to prepare to be instruments in the lord's hands." 

"Embrace the future with faith."

#exmo #ex-mormon #apostake #exmormon #mine #ex mormon #exchristian #ex christian #excult #cult stuff #exlds #ex lds #former mormon #ex religious #agnostic #gc october 2020 #gc summary

[triankletatt]

thank you for tagging me @nubilasoles !!

When is your birthday: just passed :)

Where do you live: none of your business <3

Three things you are doing right now: drinking tea, listening to music, dming some hooligans on twitter

Four fandoms that have piqued your interest: how do people partake in so many lol I was only ever in 1d fandom and louie fandom

How has the pandemic treated you: ummm. the highs too high and the lows too low?

How old are you: 20s

Recommend a movie: I dont really like a lot of movies ughhh

School, University, Occupation: N/A lmao

A song you can’t stop listening to right now: louis’ new song that we’ll hear in 2 days. or pretty please by dua

Do you prefer heat or cold: loveeee the cold

Name one fact others may not know about you: does anyone know anything about me here... um? i broke my elbow once cause I fell in a ditch lmaooo

Biggest pet peeves: oh hmm maybe just people being unnecessarily rude or cold to others. people who act like theyre better than you for any reason really but especially stupid ones. I have a weird thing about textures with food that annoys my family lol. I hate when my hands feel sticky 

Pronouns: she/her

Are you shy: yeah i can be but not nearly as much as I used to be. I used to cry when people asked me my name lol.

Rate your life from 1 to 10: this made me sad lol. idk. 6? 7?

What’s your favorite “dere” type: idk what this means sorry!

What’s your main blog: newly, this one

List your side blogs and what they’re used for: no I wanna be sexy and mysterious <3

Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends: nah not really 

idk who all has done this yet but!!! i’ll tag @sunshineforlouis @starsinhiseyes91 @onlythebravelou @loulicate-recs @theparisinterview and @not-thosesamefourchords and again anyone else who wants to do this!!!! :)

#thank you for tagging me! #and if I tagged you feel free to ignore if you want! #no pressure #tag games #about me

[uiruu]

okay one more thing about food

i think my biggest anxiety about food doesnt come from taste or ingredients or anything like that, it has to do with texture. i just get really irrationally grossed out by the texture of some food. i just cant do it sometimes, idk what to do about that.... i dont have a real reason for it, i just... idk. is this an adhd/autism thing? thinking about trying new foods and having all sorts of unfamiliar textures and stuff in my mouth makes me literally feel like im gonna vomit. ive never even really had soup, because the texture of the liquids just seems too... ugh idk, im trying to talk about this right now but my brain is just going “stop thinking about this, stop thinking about this, stop thinking about this, stop thinking about this, stop thinking about this, stop thinking about this, stop thinking about this”

ios;ldknjfsiekgf i just wish food was a non-issue in my life. i wish i had a repertoire of like 40 foods or however many most people regularly have, and so trying new things was easier because most of the time the new foods would have ingredients and things in common with the foods i already know, but like, as things are now, fuckin goddamn everything is uncomfortable for me except for cheese and like... hamburger. and only well done. and no toppings, just cheese and burger. im the worst. i just wish i didnt obsess about this. i wish thinking about the texture of a food that im mostly unfamiliar with didnt make my skin crawl. im not even talking about particularly gross foods here, im talking about a lot of stuff that most people have no problem at all with. sigh. 

is this an adhd/autism thing though? i feel like it might be, ive heard of things like this with autism. idk if im autistic or not, i dont thiiiink i am, tho idk... the traits relating to socializing and stuff dont really ring true for me, but a lot of the other ones do, which i guess is kinda just what adhd is, lol. but yeah i just... i like what im familiar with, and anything unfamiliar i perceive as being like “not for me”. like not just that it’s not made for me, but that it’s something not available to me. something other people talk about but i dont partake in. not that i cant or that i wont... but that i just... dont. by default i just dont. that goes for all sorts of things in my life. i cling to whats familiar to me. that obviously does expand over time, but you know, i dont tend to seek that out. the only things im adventurous with are media, i like seeking out new media like songs and shows and videos and stuff all the time, but at the same time i do often watch and rewatch the stuff im familiar with. 

anyway, im rambling. i just have a lot of anxiety about food. taste is such a visceral sense, and feeling things inside my mouth and with my tongue is very different than feeling things with my hands (though there is also a lot of stuff im extremely squeamish about touching, now that i think about it...........), and i just... idk... i just push it out of my mind and sjdkfmslkfmsg ugh

#i guess taste is a big part of it too but #if that was my only concern then i would like a lot more food than i do #this is probably one of the reasons i dont really have a lot of interest in travel like most people do #the first thing i think about... without question... is what i'll do about food when i get somewhere #luckily my foods are pretty common but theyre also just like... embarrassing. im extremely embarrassed about this #if you relate to any of this feel free to share your experience if you want to... #but if you dont then idk im sorry but i dont really wanna talk about it more right now jsdkmfsdkjlgmsdg #its uncomfortable and really embarrassing #i used to think it was just that i wasnt raised right and i just hadnt been exposed to stuff and i was embarrassed for being sheltered #but thats not really the case i mean my dad looooves food and makes all sorts of stuff for himself #but that shame has carried over to now even though now i think its something that's tied to my brain being the way it is #i know its irrational but i both think of it as something relating to my sensory issues with adhd/autism AND as something to be ashamed of #like im a grown up little kid who people will laugh at for only eating frozen pizza and mac and cheese #and some fruits sometimes #idk i probably have like 10 or 15 foods if i really sat down and counted but thats still not many and they have a lot in common #so my palette is still... small. i beat myself up for being a loser about that... but also i think its something more tied to other problems #its contradictory but thats how it is i guess #dont reblog #please #tw food #cw food #food mention #do i have an eating disorder? hmmmmm i dont think so #i think the cause is much larger than that. when i eat my foods i eat a lot of them... it has more to do with senses than with eating #i think #i mean i guess that makes my eating disordered in the sense that it is disfunctional and not normal/orderly lmao but #you know what i mean by eating disorder #long post

[candygothjester]

AAAA idk if my other ask went in but I think it was for your oc Jax w 7 and 21 from that as game ?? But if my other one DID go in then dont worry abt this one if u dont wanna alsjdkhfg

IT DID IM JUST so slow at responding to asks omg kjsdhkjsfd

I shan’t complain though because I love rambling about my OCs to no end, though apologies if this lacks coherency it is like 3 AM right now? But thank you sm for the ask!

3. What does your oc’s voice sound like? (Or, if you have one, what’s their voiceclaim?) Can they sing, whistle, or roll their rs? Do they have any speech impediments or notable dialects/accents?

Honestly!! This is something that I’ve struggled for the longest time with! I keep trying to think of a voice for Jax and I’ve yet to settle on anything? I’ve figured his voice would be on the higher end, generally being heavily emotive unless he absolutely wants/needs to mute out his feelings... which, either way, is a good tell to get a grasp on his state of mind in that moment, same with the pitch of it that well follows suit. Jax definitely has an awful singing voice, but I’d imagine him being able to whistle, roll his r’s, and he is (canonically to my campaign!) able to do other accents very well. Otherwise, he has an extremely strong Elvish accent, though I’m not sure what accent in the real world it’d be reflective of (one of my friends suggested Australian, which I can see for better or worse,).

7. What song reminds you of this oc? Does this match up with the type of music your oc likes to listen to?

yes /j

Realistically? An absolute fuckton of songs, though I’d have to say Grand Finale (matches his general personality and what I want his character growth to be like!) by Studio Killers; Nightlife, Music People, Welcome Kingdom of Addiction, and Ghosts of Utopia (all discuss very corruptive influences on his life and thus how those then reflect on his own actions and ultimately drag him down, making him suffer more and more) by IAMX; The World Does Not Revolve Around You and Irresistible (this man’s awful ego) by Temposhark; and The Prince (his present self more-or-less being reflected upon by him when he’s older) by Madeon! I can’t say this without including songs about his pairings, so I particularly associate Achilles, Come Down (if there’s any song that I could dedicate to their dynamic as a whole, it would be this) by Gang of Youths with Jax and Dekida (where I find that the singer’s voice would match Kida’s, to reflect on the previous question), then world.search(you); (again, another close descriptor of Jax and Hazel’s dynamic, particularly while they both think the other is dead) by Mili with Jax and Hazel! None of these match his music taste, I’d imagine at most he might listen to a FEW songs from IAMX, but regularly I think he’d listen to rap..?

21. What’s a fact you haven’t shared about this oc?

THERE’S SO MUCH... this man has an incredible amount of lore and things to his personality, I couldn’t even begin to start with just one... but I think I’ll go with the most recent development of him since it’s fun? So, to give context, Jax’s forearms and hands are completely black, their surface looking a lot like charred wood with many, many lacerations thanks to corruption from The Tower (and to give even more context, this whole world has a singular set of very magical tarot cards called the Dwelling Cards that all come with their own unique properties, abilities, intuitions, and corruptions, generally being held by a person that matches their stereotypical traits within divination. Only one Card can be held at once by a person, unless that person holds The Fool like Jax), as upon killing his father who held it, Jax took the card and it completely corrupted his hands which now burn with absolute hell levels of pain. From this, his mother created gloves for him which numb the pain of the corruption, though it still hurts plenty and tends to spike at random moments regardless; their edges are magically sewn into his skin to ensure that they will never accidentally come off. Eight levels of context aside and completely disregarding that I’ve mentioned this nowhere before besides TH, the one thing that I really wanted to talk about was the solution since I really haven’t put that anywhere before! I was thinking that when this whole situation gets sorted out and dealt with, since my campaign has an odd focus on elemental creatures (the Bronze Dragon, Mary, & a stone/construct hawk goddess, Uvetta, are like. two major characters), I’d make his blood turn golden in response (I think Uvetta would partake in his healing..? This would take more context, but for basic knowledge she is something of a healer and is also the essential creator of the Dwelling Cards) to match, in a sense, his ego and status, reflective of how much he sees himself as something wonderful and how others do too, but also how he’s not only a “null” prince but an idol, regarded by, looked up to, and favoured by many to the point where he makes his own self conform to these visions much like a trophy. He’s a god in his own right to some extent, the golden blood only reflecting that. On its own, the properties of the blood can be healing at first in regards to a person’s mental state, though if enough of it consumed it quickly becomes addicting and intoxicating whilst not once quenching thirst, only drawing people in to drink more and more. It is cool, kind of like water that’s been sitting out for a while in a colder location, and it solidifies into a metal outside of Jax’s body after some time passes. Since I think it’s cute, his own blush becomes very much golden, though I think at the same time his tears would turn black for... no true reason really, it just sounds kind of fun and ultimately reflects his contrast from the self he presents to others to who he actually is. Bodily fluids aside, I feel as though his hands and forearms would be permanently covered in tinted skin, like thick lines of blue kind of like bandages running over them.

#aro-zagreus #jax caeglas #jax #dwelling cards #my ocs #dc #dc spoilers #i think i do need to tag this as that #i do not think any of my campaign members have this blocked though. that is ok #here are random spoilers :) #long post

[gratiasancti]

100 PERSONAL QUESTIONS

because @ineffablequestion​ decided to really put my patience to the test today . not that i mind , ily .

1. What is your middle name ?

maria 

2. How old are you ?

23 as of right now !

3. When is your birthday?

oct. 19th

4. What is your zodiac sign?

libra waddup

5. What is your favorite color?

i don’t really have one ? muted colours probably

6. What’s your lucky number?

again, can’t say i have one but maybe 29

7. Do you have any pets?

a dod and a horse

8. Where are you from?

finland / uk

9. How tall are you?

174 cm

10. What shoe size are you?

eu 39-40

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

like seven, if you don’t count my collection of riding shoes and boots. oxfords, brogues, wellies, trainers, and the rest are probably heels. as for riding boots, a lot.

12. What was your last dream about?

that i was late from work and got thrown in a tar pit because of it. and then i sold my old history teacher 500€ worth of alcohol and lottery tickets.

13. What talents do you have?

none?? unlimited sarcasm, idk

14. Are you psychic in any way?

i’m not sure if i believe in this stuff

15. Favorite song?

honestly, anything from hippo campus or glass animals.

16. Favorite movie?

the grand budapest hotel

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

someone who counteracts some of my anxiety and excitedness with a calm and, when needed, firm character but is still funny and can be themselves. preferably someone who i feel is my intellectual equal, and we can share everything with each other. maybe a bit older than myself, but not by much. other than that, i really don’t care.

18. Do you want children?

currently, i can’t see myself ever having kids. just doesn’t seem like my thing. especially babies. maybe adopting or fostering could be an option, but only if i was sure i could give the child a good home.

19. Do you want a church wedding?

i don’t think i want to get married

20. Are you religious?

not particularly

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

maaaaaaany times. multiple riding accidents, broken bones, a car crash. then just being an idiot in general. and chronic back problems.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

apart from once forgetting to pay for the underground and getting an 80€ fine, no.

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

i’ve met and had dinner with two different finnish presidents and some other ‘upper class’ people but other than that, no. 

24. Baths or showers?

one of those rain shower things

25. What color socks are you wearing?

i have no socks !!!

26. Have you ever been famous?

uhhhh not in the literal sense of the word but i’ve been infamous at school when i was like 15. made a meme of one of our teachers that went low key viral in our city.

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

definitely not in the hollywood sense of things. 

28. What type of music do you like?

a lot of things. anything, really, depending on the time of day and if i’m feeling particularly emo.

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

that’s like the only type of swimming finnish people partake in. naked in the sauna, naked in the lake/ocean. so yes, multiple times a year jhdsnhb

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

currently like five

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

either on my back or on my stomach. depends on what place hurts that day lmao.

32. How big is your house?

closer to 400 m^2 . i still live with my parents but will move into my own flat in six months, once it’s ready. that’s going to be appx 70 m^2.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

i know its a bad habit but i often dont have breakfast. if i do it's usually fruit and yoghurt or some toast.

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

yes

35. Have you ever tried archery?

yes. fun fact; my cousin has won the european championchip ( in some form of archery idk ) like twice , i think. 

36. Favorite clean word?

defenestrate

37. Favorite swear word?

fuck. i use it Too Much™

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

can’t remember the exact amount of hours but we were sailing and our shifts got messed up to the point where i had either not slept at all or slept so little in like four days i was genuinely hallucinating. almost jumped into the sea because i thought i dropped my life vest,,, which i was wearing.

39. Do you have any scars?

a few. dumbest one probably when i rode in my shorts but used a saddle and rubbed the skin off of my calf. also from hay work, those little dots that look almost like moles.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

not that i know of

41. Are you a good liar?

yes, unfortunately. it’s a bad habit in the sense that i tell a lot of white lies when i could genuinely tell the truth with no consequence. like, it would be the one and the same.

42. Are you a good judge of character?

also yes. i’ve seen some shit. also i have surprisingly good people skills.

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

i can speak english in my normal accent which is kind of queen’s english (?) upper class idk, then in world’s english ( so basically no accent / neutral ) and then in finnish (rally) english .  i can also speak swedish with a rikssvenska (standard swedish ???) accent and then finlandssvenska which is finnish swedish (and an actual thing lmao). also i can butcher a norwegian or danish accent in swedish if i really try. my finnish is very neutral, but it does vary a bit depending on what city i’m in.

oh, and also a shitty southern american accent. 

44. Do you have a strong accent?

if i let it shine through, yes, but i tend toward world english because anything else scares finns. but when i speak finnish (which is most of the time) i don’t really have an accent. maybe you can hear that i’m not 100% finnish but that’s about it.

45. What is your favorite accent?

i don’t really have one ! all accents are really fascinating.

46. What is your personality type?

entj-a

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

i have a few expensive dresses, and then of course my riding clothes which cost ridiculous amounts of money because fuck everyone who likes horses, i guess. like excuse me but why is it normalised that you pay over 1000€ for a helmet??? anything less and you’re a peasant.

48. Can you curl your tongue?

mmmmyeah. 

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

innie!

50. Left or right handed?

pretty much ambidextrous, though i prefer to write with my left but do everything else mostly with my right. my handwriting doesn’t differ too much from left to write.

51. Are you scared of spiders?

yes. ew. and we’re lucky to only have tiny ones in finland !

52. Favorite food?

ummmmm. currently carelian pie maybe?? idk such a good snack.

53. Favorite foreign food?

squints??? sushi????

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

depends. often too lazy to clean but incredibly stressed and uncomfortable when its messy. meticulous about all the wrong things.

55. Most used phrase?

either some form of keysmash or “FUCK”. also in finnish either “voi jumalauta” or “voi saatana” which both basically translate to “jesus fucking christ”.

56. Most used word?

also fuck. this really must say something about me smdh.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

really depends. sometimes 10 minutes, sometimes two hours. on a normal day w/ shower and moderate make up, 15-25 minutes.

58. Do you have much of an ego?

depends really. i hope i don’t!

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

whomst the FUCK bites lollipops ?!?!?!

60. Do you talk to yourself?

i’ve only recently started. it’s terrifying.

61. Do you sing to yourself?

when driving if i’m listening to music, yeah

62. Are you a good singer?

honestly, no clue. i don’t really sing in front of people so i haven’t gotten opinions.

63. Biggest Fear?

failure.

64. Are you a gossip?

not about my friends, ever. but i will definitely listen to any tea you want to spill.

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

idk does kingsman count as dramatic?? the first one was hilarious.

66. Do you like long or short hair?

both have their perks!

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

LMAO i can name like 3 if i really try.

68. Favorite school subject?

history, english lang & lit, economics.

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

extrovert but i get tired easily

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

yes ! we go to the maldives once in a while, because finland doesn’t offer much in terms of diving sites.

71. What makes you nervous?

not a lot of things? i guess some responsibilities. things left for me to do even if someone else was supposed to do them.

72. Are you scared of the dark?

a dark room ? no. a dark forest at midnight ? hell yess. finnish winter darkness is terrifying simply because its so depressing. seasonal depression is real yall.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

depends. if it’s a trivial mistake and they haven’t asked to be corrected, no. if it makes me or someone else feel bad or just makes any situation worse, then yes. but never unkindly.

74. Are you ticklish?

YES. ugh

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

no. i can’t recall doing so, at least. but i have participated in spreading them.

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

yes. at work a couple of times simply out of necessity and also when i took part in MEP. was committee president twice and president of the general assembly once. though idk if that counts since i was like 17 and its all p much play pretend.

oh! and also when i captain our boat. but again, idk if that counts.

77. Have you ever drank underage?

yeah, ever since i was like 16 :/

78. Have you ever done drugs?

no, and never will. not my thing !!

79. Who was your first real crush?

probably a boy from class. i can’t remember, really. i’ve never been too  ‘romantically inclined’ i  suppose.

80. How many piercings do you have?

just my ears, once.

81. Can you roll your Rs?

almost every r in the finnish language is technically rolled so yeah. i feel bad for those finnish people who cant !! makes everything so hard.

82. How fast can you type?

according to this thing 75 words per minute on my first try, so idk how accurate that is.

83. How fast can you run?

not fast. i  hate running, and am very out of practice. 

84. What color is your hair?

idk ? like, light brown ?

85. What color are your eyes?

again, idk. blue/green/grey

86. What are you allergic to?

dogs, cats, birch, and almost anything that flowers in the spring jshbdsjh

87. Do you keep a journal?

not a journal per se but i have a ‘little black book’ which i keep rather meticulously about my thoughts on the day, important things i need to remember, my expenses etc. a habit inherited from my dad. i’ve gone through like six of these in the past few years.

88. What do your parents do?

my mum is a mayor and my dad is a ceo

89. Do you like your age?

yeah !

90. What makes you angry?

injustice.

91. Do you like your own name?

yes !

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

ksjdsjhb no. at this rate i’d end up naming a child crowley or sum shit

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

i don’t want kids but if i did gender would be a non issue

94. What are you strengths?

lmao i have good people skills, work well under pressure, get along with everyone, am determined and ?? a good leader??? idk

95. What are your weaknesses?

i take on too much responsibility, i have anxiety and depression, i get frustrated at my own failures, i’m very self-critical and unforgiving. also no self-control when it comes to rp.

96. How did you get your name?

i think somewhere from my dad’s side, not entirely sure.

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

possibly? not sure. but fun fact! a great great grandmother (? or something of the sorts) from my mother’s side actually survived the sinking of the titanic.

98. Do you have any scars?

wasn’t this asked already?

99. Color of your bedspread?

this blue mandala like pattern idk

100. Color of your room?

white and a very mellow blue

#ICB I JUST FUCKING DID THIS #◜ / · ❛ 𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖊𝖑 ◞ ooc.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Matte, bands,11:11, and coffee

• matte: if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? •mm i don’t think so, i wouldn’t even really have much of a choice. i’d probably talk more and tell some people things—all good things though, just people who have really made my years by being exceptionally nice to me, funnily enough i’m not real friends with many of them tho so it’s not like its my place to talk to them all the time. maybe i’d find a way to make use of the couple hundo i have in cash• bands: talk about a song/band/lyric that has affected your life in some way. •uh i havent really felt that intense a connection to anything in particular that i feel like anything changed my life or anything besides resulting in going to concerts or buying merch or something. i was really into kesha’s warrior album at the time of its release (still am b/c its essentially perfect) and it resonated personally because that was peak times of realizing how much i’d been let down and trapped by life and i felt very isolated and it was around the time i was being beat down and blamed so much that i thought i deserved to feel suicidal, whereas nowadays i am still suicidal as ever but not b/c i think i deserve it or i hate myself or anything. but i’ve always been stubborn as fuck so even then it felt like rebellious to want to enjoy myself and to embrace the parts of me that felt a right to be pissed off and want to yell for fun and for profit. and embrace the parts of my identity that was very real yet very different from the performance i had to put on for my parents re the very hollow idea they had of who i was. and since i felt like i really must be just a worthless fuckup, the idea of embracing that while dancing around in paint and glitter was pretty powerful. a lot of bits of that album resonated in real ways, but especially the tracks “warrior” and “all that matters (the beautiful life).” the thing with kesha’s music is of course its all abt partying and shit and ppl like to be like “oh her songs are all dumb and shallow but she’s smart coz she’s just playing along and thinks it’s ridiculous too” like idk why the idea of having a persona is so outlandish to some people but also...playing around and having a night out isn’t because you’re not smart enough to never have fun. i didnt expect to actually be having that kind of fun but it was a lot of fun to imagine that i had a place in partaking of something straightfoward and fun and playful. and look at me now, i’ve at least come to circling around self loathing enough to not care about others opinions of me and not hate myself at all. kesha slaps also, people think music can only be deep if its downtempo and acoustic and a gloomy white guy singer, or that listening to pop means you’re not smart or have shit taste, and those people are fuckin herbs• 11:11: name three wishes and why you wish for them. •ooh i dont know its always something i feel like is too complex and it’d get messed up, like wanting to restructure society or at least be able to have money magically appear to whomever i wanted it to. maybe i’d wish for my hair to naturally grow in my favorite color. and to have a bird friend. maybe a toucan or something. idk• coffee: what’s your starbucks order, and who would you trust to order for you, if anyone? •i’ve never been much, i generally just get a mocha from coffee shops in general, ive gotten peppermint mochas and green tea lattes from sbux that i like. i’d let any old rando order for me, i absolutely dont care abt it

[smurfettte]

💎✖️️💕🍳🍭😂

DOTT IM SO SORRY I JUST SAW THIS TY

Im still using sm*rf bc i dont want it to show up in the tags its annoying and im sry

💎 - when and how did you discover your special interest?

Ooh this goes way back.

Well, when i was about nine my parents first seperated (they did twice, ultimately getting divorced 2nd time around) for a period of two years, and during that time we had very, very little money because my mom was a stay at home mom for years and had to get a job too, so we basically had to cut, like, everything/anything extra that we didnt need. The best my mom could do so we didnt get a total shock on top of everything was to get us the smallest cable package possible (im pretty sure it was way cheaper back then too, idk if even that would be manageable now) where we had just like, a little cluster of channels; one of those was boomerang. I was really, really sad about loosing cartoon network, so my mom hyped me up about being able to watch sm*rfs, even though i only had a very vague idea of what they were. From there, it kind of just became my permanent special interest. My mom and i watched it together a lot since her mom played into the really strange christian propaganda of “demonizing” cartoons that was everywhere in the 80s when she grew up. She would bribe her brother not to rat her out when she would sneak-watch it on saturday mornings and tbh that would literally be me

✖ - Is there something you Dont like about your special interest?

Definitely. The author of the original comics was uh… a really sexist, probably racist and a homophobic guy. Which, really shows in his earlier works – the full sm*rfette story is honestly much worse than the concepts of her origin that were kept in the cartoon. The 80s retelling is basically the comic but heavily censored for over obviously sexist content, while still being sexist in itself (just in a way where, maybe for younger viewers or a blind eye, its not obvious at first). Honestly just the treatment of most of the female characters is my complaint in the way a lot of them are portrayed, but especially sm*rfette. She cant do one self indulgent thing for herself without it being ridiculed or often portrayed as wrong, even when shes like the smartest and most caring person in the village. Its annoying and not a good message at all.

Also, it tries to be written as insanely het all the time and just isnt. Like its so gay and theres so many moments where youre like “ppl really tried to pass this as het…bitch” but time and time again… straight people think its reasonable that an entire village is attracted to. a single person (who most of the time heavily shys away from affection from men too, lmfao…). REALLY hoping the new movie addresses that in some way thats not bad, but im trying not to get my hopes up (ive got my hopes up).

💕 - Something you like about your Special Interest?

Honestly this is a lot of things, but i would have to say?? Like. Everything, except the things i dont like ^. Its constantly been such a comfort to me in so many ways. I love the characters, i love how it was my first real introduction to fairytale fantasy (aside from disney) and its just… so calming. Some people find it boring and annoying, but for me it was so easy to fall in love with and kept me company/calmed me down during some of the worst times ive ever had. Even when some of those worst times were because people would make fun of me for loving it.

🍳 - do you have a stim related to your special interest?

In a few ways, yea! I do!

I always compare it to this, but i think being surrounded in things related to it is a kind of visual stim that relates to the old woman who wants most everything in her house to be green. Just as it makes her feel calm, happy, and energetic, i have the same expirience but i sm*rf theme as many things as i can, and collect ALOT. I try to be surrounded by it as much as possible, and it always helps me to feel happy and calm. If im not in a space where its all around, i’ll have sm*rf things that i use day to day, like my wallet, cups, things like that. It always provides a feeling of happiness and safety.

Another for a physical stim is that i have a sm*rfette themed slime that one of my best friends made me for christmas! (He made a little white hat to put over the lid too, it was so sweet). Its a glittery blue, and has lots of gold, blue, and flower shaped sequins in it! i love squishing gooey and squeezable stuff. Textures like that are the best ever.

🍭- a headcanon/theory you have about your special interest?

This is gonna be long and im sorry i talk so much, but Brainy, Grouchy, Clumsy, and Fette (so i dont have to block out the full word again) are all autistic!

- Brainy expiriences a lack of empathy, tends to micromanage more than one usually would (especially if one of his special interests are involved/its something he came up with himself) and, as mentioned, expiriences special interests (a need for worldly knowledge – especially of magic, and for papa, who he constantly seeks to impress and be respected by, no matter what it takes. He loves him and wants to be just like him, and often does things for him out of the blue just so he’ll appreciate and recognize him + his potential). He stims by chewing (probably with the handle of a wand) and by writing + drawing swirly doodles on paper with his quill pen. He infodumps, and he usually lacks an understanding of social cues; this often leads to him making “bad decisions” being highly ridiculed, often overshadowed by his peers.

- Clumsy does not quickly process information + events, his comfort object(s) is/are his continuously growing rock collection/garden that he waters and talks to everyday, he stims by flapping and jumping, and is very uncoordinated. There are often ‘simple’ things that confuse him that he is unable to figure out quickly (like putting together things that fold up - chairs, foldable tables where u have to specifically press something, stuff like that. I think its an autistic thing even though im not able to describe it very well since ive struggled w it all my life myself and i always get weird looks when i cant do it) and his special interest is Brainy. Because he is physically incoordinated and processes information slow, though people do stick up for him, he can often recieve even worse treatment from those around him than Brainy does, on top of being easily able to manipulate due to him being so easily trusting and loving. Because of this, him and Brainy often do everything together, and eventually their mutual love for each other + relatability brings them to be almost inseperable (even if Brainy looses his patience more than he should sometimes). aka theyre boyfriends it rly shows

- Fette struggles with anxiety (as alot of autistic people, like myself, do) and has hyper-empathy. Similar to Clumsy, Fette seeks comfort in her flower garden and flowers in general, often holding conversations with them. This actually is a real theory, but she believes that talking to the flowers will help them to grow, and cherishes them as if they were people. She knows the name of every flower in the forest and could tell you at LEAST 5 facts about every single one. She stims by flapping, jumping, and chewing on her hair. Fette is quick to act to situations whether good or bad, and raised voices from others can often send her towards a meltdown (in where she retreats to her house for solitude to calm down + renergize). Though she loves her friends and being with them, she is an introvert and enjoys being by herself or with her flowers to regain energy.

- Grouchy uses echolalia to express his emotions and partake in conversations, while being mostly nonverbal. He often seeks company in animals or baby sm*rf (who i believe is also his special interest) because they bring him comfort and dont ask him to explain or change who he is. He is often very distant from most people, and only opens up to being around people he feels he can trust.

😂 - something funny about your special interest?

It just made me type up like. Disorganized paragraphs when im supposed to be packing up my shit 2 go to my moms. Also just the idea that a whole village could be attracted to a single person and no one else… funnie as shit my guy