#idk what to call these moments before I go...

[rongzhi]

ok ive taken a deep breath and steeled myself. what do you think of liu yu

I'm going to put this under a cut because I rambled a little, but I wanted to offer my detailed impression :P Rest assured! No tearing to shreds occurred. He remains intact.

Well, I didn’t know who this guy was, so I took myself to the ole Wikipedia and my first thought was wow! Look at those label names.

Second thoughts: Ooh, dancer. I'm looking forward to see how the dancing is (if he still dances).

I have heard of INTO1 but don't watch idol competition shows, but it's impressive that he placed first. I decided to listen to/watch two songs/performances: his first single, 靠岸, from 2019, and his most recent single from 2023, Focus.

靠岸 didn't seemed to have an official video, so I ended up watching a live performance from a show called Mr. Radio.

I was pleasantly surprised by this song! Seeing that he had been on Produce Camp, I was expecting a more pop kind of song, but this was a song I could imagine playing in the OT of a drama (in a good way!). I think his performance was a little shaky here, but I sense that maybe he was nervous? Either way, he seems a little shy here, where this song would really benefit from a powerhouse performance. Idk, maybe it was also a sound mixing issue. I like the song, though. Very pretty. I went to listen to the studio recording and it was a lot better—much closer to what I was hoping to get. The oooooh part sort of reminds me of a Zhou Shen song whose title I can't remember at the moment. It was space themed, though. (EDIT: the song I was thinking about was Cassini)

Next up!! Focus. I watched the Official Music Video on Youtube first.

Coming off 靠岸， I could see from the thumbnail that this song would be closer to the pop sound that I expected, so the things I was interested in seeing was the MV concept and the dancing. On first watch, I didn't really listen to the lyrics much, because there were no captions to read and I can't really tell what people are saying in pop songs anyway.

I have to admit that going into the video with the big gray space only, I thought it was pretty ugly at first. I just think that the CG structure on pale BG concept always looks cheap no matter who does it, though, and Liu Yu seems like a sort of tiny guy, so with all the dancers around him, I initially thought he looked a little swamped by them.

At 0:48 when we got a flash of the all-black cowboy look, again I was a bit disappointed, thinking that there wouldn't be much edge to concepts.

Then we got to the, I'm gonna say, test lab sewer gothic, and I thought "ok, at least that's something". It's definitely be done before but there's more production in that set and look, so at least the whole video isn't just going to be a gray void. The flash of Liu Yu standing in as his own princess was kind of interesting (disappointed this character never showed up in the music video again)

Now I know said I wasn't going to rip him to shreds and that's because....!!! When the beat dropped, I went "ok wait" lol. At 1:03, I witnessed evidence of stage presence and was like "oh we are so back, baby"

Still not a fan of the big pale space, and I think Liu Yu's charisma was most visible in the sewer gothic scenes and weakest in the scenes where he's wearing the silver ice skating outfit looking blouse, but maybe that's just because it distracts you with his little twig body. I personally can't buy into the energy of someone who looks like the most movable object on earth.

3:03 the "yuh" made me laugh tho

MV looks ranked (best to worst):

One thing that I didn't like about the MV (but understand is necessary) was that the video kept cutting right as I thought to myself "Oh, this is a nice bit of dancing", and I wish the shots had been wider on the dance moves instead of cutting him off at the ribs. A wider dance version in the sewer (I know that's not what it was but jhkalfjl) would've been appreciated by me. With that in mind, I decided to see if there was a dance performance video and there was! As suspected, the choreography in the beginning of the song is also just not that strong or compelling to me. It sort of gives intermediate hiphop 2 dance recital. My favorite part of choreo is the breakdown at 2:56.

Anyway, I hope these impressions were sufficient! I didn't check him out on any variety shows so I can't comment much on what I think about his personality, but from a music/performance standpoint, I think he's pretty good. Not really the kind of stuff I listen to anymore but if I still kept up with idols, maybe I'd check him out from time to time :)

#text #answered ask #liu yu

[seven-thewanderer]

I just wanna let you guys know...

Counting today, there are only 4 days left of me being online, before I basically have to vanish for 2 whole months (and then idk how much of the 3rd month I'll be gone, but a portion of that month too...)

I wanna spend it as well as I can, but I also don't really know what I'll do, nor am I sure I'll have the time to really do anything, as I still gotta prepare a bunch to go before I do go...

So yeah if I end up going quiet before I go then I'm sorry, but I really hope I at least talk a bit more before suddenly vanishing!!!

...I also at least wanna list some of the tags I have on my blog(s) that may interest yall while I'm gone... ...though I doubt it'll interest yall for 2 whole months + a unknown portion of a 3rd month)

But yeah if I end up not getting the chance to say bye, just know I'll miss u guys, and I care about yall & love u all!! (platonically, of course XD)

#random post #idk what to call these moments before I go... #cus I think I changed the name often... #maybe i'll call it... #Seven's 5th Vanishing #? #cus I'm pretty sure this is the 5th time I've had to vanish on yall... #I mean hey that's why I call myself Seven the Wanderer in the first place #I wander into here #interact & have fun for a bit #and then vanish #the difference I guess with me is that I more commonly return back to the same place I left #(like in Minecraft I doubt you'd see the same Wandering Villager just a few months later after it leaves ur village) #Also I guess this is probably #important #in a way? #I honestly don't really think so #since it's about me #but it may be important for yall to know so that you know why I'm gone #(probably not tho since it's still about me XD) #but yeah Imma cut these tags short right... #...here

[ecoamerica]

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[sunsetzer]

On one hand, I want a final fantasy 6 remake, because the game is criminally underrated and the amount of fan content (which is all absolutely fantastic btw) is Not Enough for my neurodivergent, hyperfixating brain.

On the other hand, that would inevitably encourage more people to join the fandom, which would be great, except it seems these days the bigger a fandom gets the more toxic it becomes, and I really like what we have going on over here in our little corner. We all just love the game and its characters and nobody fights about who should and shouldn't date who or who you shouldn't like because they're ~problematique~. Nobody's trying to make one ship morally better than another, nobody's calling anyone names or threatening to doxx people who don't agree with their opinions. It's so peaceful and I love that for us. We're just vibing. Moisturized. Unbothered. In our lane. Flourishing.

#as someone who was in an extremely toxic and chaotic fandom and lowkey still traumatized #to the point where I'm afraid to mention which fandom it was/what my ship was #i have to say #i genuinely love it here #i was nervous at first sharing my ships and headcanons but everyone is so chill i was worried for nothing #thank you to everyone I've interacted with who has made this fandom a healing experience for me #i shudder to think about what some of the people i interacted with in a previous fandom would do with ff6 #probably would take edgar's flirting at face value and call him problematic for objectifying women #instead of considering the narrative and what we know about him and the way he actually treats women #my man drinks loving and respecting women juice he's not a creep #or that weird moment with relm that admittedly made me double take before i realized what he meant #theyd have a whole campaign against him lmfao #bc those people boil characters alive until they're just a formless pile of tropes and stereotypes #and seem to disregard all positive aspects of a character they don't like which is fine #but then they go and try to force other people to think like they do and ugh #theres a lot of silly moments in the game and aspects of these characters that make them well rounded and realistically flawed at times #and i fear that would get lost in the chaos if the floodgates opened after a remake #maybe im just jaded lmao #im jaded and i have anxiety so im always thinking about The Worst Case Scenario #the collective positive spirit of the dwellers in this fandom might actually foster a positive space if more people were to come in #ff6 #my post #i was gonna say maybe this is bc we're mostly adults #but that falls flat when i remember how some of the most toxic and immature people in some fandoms are grown ass adults #who bully each other and younger fans #and some of the most mature and cool people were actually younger #maybe ff6 fans are just built different lmao #also idk how old anyone else actually is there might be teenagers here i just don't think about it a lot

[hearts4juzi]

"Of course the moment you left, you died. You know I'm alone now, right? To pick up YOUR mess. And knowing you, you're not coming back as one of those freaks. you're leaving me to deal with this. It should've been you to go, Afton. Your brother would've had more sense."

#for an au i havent posted much about but #basically its michael dies from the big scUp and cassidy #who survived being attacked by will #has to finish what he started #bc i love cassidy she deserves a final girl moment #doodles #cassidy fnaf #fnaf au #idk what to call this so no tag yet lolz #bc originally they were workingtogether but they had a big fight abt what to do #which was just poorly hidden grudges #“we should fix whats going on right now instead of going after someone we dont even know is still alive” -> #“I want to fix my family before i go after my dad we dont even know hes guilty” #and cassidys “we need to stop your dad now and fix everything instead of just your family” -> #“you fucked up with your brother and you're going to help me because YOU ruined everything” #michael left bc he got upset and his dad called him to the bunker #he saw it as an oppurunity to prove his dads innocence even tho he knew deep down already that it was fruitless #and then he died #and cassidy fount out when his weird situation was recorded in a newspaper

[theboost]

I know it’s stupid to get embarrassed about caring about a fictional guy on the caring about a fictional guy website but I am literally having such a deadshot moment rn

#thinking as I often do about what to do to make Zoe interesting. and I think I’ve cracked the code. there have been a lot of moments where #it’s been teased that if. Christ I can’t call him Floyd I don’t think of him that way. if Deadshot dies she will take over as the next #deadshot. and they did something very similar to what I’m pitching here in the 2016 suicide squad but I think there should be a moment where #she thinks Deadshot is dead and shoots someone point blank and kills them #okay I lost the plot but I’m back #but anyway she kills someone which is naturally a traumatic experience for her but also incredibly traumatic for him as the first time he #killed someone it was to stop someone from killing his father. so they’re having mutual breakdowns. there’s a couple of fun ways it could go #from here. maybe she’s just like him and shuts down emotionally. maybe he’s like oh fuck she’s just like me I need to get away from her #before I ruin her. and then he can. idk voluntarily join the suicide squad again. or the secret six!

[ruvigapo]

Honestly like... im kinda at a point where i want to stop emulating other artists???

Life is too short to try to be someone else

Just be you, ya kno??

#ruvi has art thoughts again #like okay fr ofc its hard to not look at other artist and want to be like them #and honestly that was a motivator for most of my life #i still dk if this is a good desition or not i dont draw enough to know just yet #i need to sort out some things irl before i can go back to drawing properly i think #and even then i feel like itöl take years to really see if this was the right course of action #ive stoped calling things art goals #i try to look at art for its own merrit not for how i can use it #bc i realize im part of the problem by then #i want to consume art without being an artist again #and i eould like to draw things bc i like drawing them not bc im trying to fill a niche #idk if anyone needs to hear it today but like #if i were to die tomorrow i would want to have been happy with what i had not striving to be something else every moment if every day #my room is messy and ive debilitating adhd and ptsd and im burnt out and theres more to life than trying to perfect one craft #at the expense of never looking at the sun never going on walks never valuing my friends and family #bc im too preoccupied w achieving my goals #this has been introspective hour w ruvi #i need to head to work now #muffin rambles #personal

[myownprivatcidaho]

whats tough about like. Having Chemistry and spending time with someone at the start of the spring semester is that valentines day is coming up and its like a make or break point with what you may or may not Be and you have to question what direction things are headed in and its a pressure just Not present in the fall semester idk. idk

#we uhhhh. kinda hit a bump in the road ...... idk. #hes. been very gentle and kind and understanding about where im coming from and so we havent talked in a couple days but just .... #god ok fuck it. we were hanging out saturday night and at some point we were going somewhere where parking sucked so i just suggested we go #in his car rather than separate bc finding parking for ONE car is a Struggle. anyways so afterwards we went back to where i parked my car #and i hahahhaaaaa was NOT leaving. it was just past midnight and so we were just hanging in his car talking for abt an hour #in there at some point i told him about that last crush and how it dragged on and he was like jesus CHRIST sia thats a lot #i was reclined in my seat and shutting my eyes listening to the music and i caught him looking at me a couple times andddddd uh #yeah basically i ended up in his lap and then we were kissing and touching and grinding for like the next hour and a half #and he asked if i wanted to go back to my place and i was like uhhhhhhhhhhhh not now so we stayed in there and just made out & talked more #and then he TOLD me. basically hes in a similar situation i was in this time last year. like a girl he liked and was talking to actually #has a bf. hes sorta in limbo and she still talks to bim and is stringing him along and playing off his hopes theyll get together for. #entertainment ig. everyone at this school is fantastic btw. jesus fucking christ. #so yeah he told me bc he said he didnt wanna hurt me or end up fucking me over and that i deserved full honesty and didnt want to get my #hopes up. which i REALLY appreciate. we talked for 8 days he got carried away once and immediately owned up. i do appreciate that #so like. he said that we can just be friends with or without benefits and i said id think about it. then at like 3 am we went home and he #check in with me to make sure i was alright since he could tell i had a LOT on my mind. i said id call him the next day and so we talked #and basically i explained the reason for my apprehensions and why i said no to hooking up (csa) and he was really understanding #and then like. i just asked him more about what was going through his head the night before & he described it as a heat of the moment thing #(which i agree it was) and like. he was genuinely concerned about me tho. idk #i told him that after i got home i had to shower for an hour scrubbyat every place he touched me and that im tired of feeling used #and he really heard me out and listened. he also asked if he hurt me and i said no but it def could have gotten to that point and i #and so he said 'im sorry for making your life at all hafrder to deal with' and i REALLY really #appreciate him being as honest as he was. so i said its cool we can be friends but i just need some space rn & he once again was really #understanding & said 'for as long as you need. just let me know whenever youre ready to just be friends again & if you need me to stay sway #from [xyz places we hung out] just let me know and if you need anything for class just feel free to reach out' #and. GOD i appreciate him. so that convo closed out on good terms. i was worried id need WEEKS but it rlly was just a few hours after that #i was ok again. traumas all about narratives and before that convo all i could see was another instance i was usee but like. #after actually talking it out all the fear around it dissipated and i can just see it for what it was: 2 friends who got carried away #but i really REALLY appreciate how hes handled this and we're both single & attracted to each other and so the question im thinking now is: #crushposting

[nexus-nebulae]

also i just need to be fucking angry about the American healthcare system because holy shit i should not be forced to fucking GOOGLE how to take care of myself after a SURGICAL PROCEDURE

#doctor moment #idk what this specific kind of bad medical practice would be called so #ask to tag #vent #i guess #but HOLY SHIT I'M SO FUCKING MAD ABOUT THAT #THEY DID NOT TELL ME A SINGLE THING AT THE END OF THE PROCEDURE THEY LITERALLY JUST SHOOED ME OUT #I DID NOT GET FUCKING INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW LONG TO LEAVE THESE BANDAGES ON #I GOT ABSOLUTELY NEGLIGENT AND HORRIBLY WRITTEN INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO CARE FOR IT #ONES THAT MY MOM HAD TO GO THROUGH AND SIMPLIFY FOR ME BECAUSE I WAS TOO OUT OF IT FROM TOO MUCH ANESTHETIC #BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH THEY KNOW I WEIGH 95 POUNDS AND REQUIRE A CHILDREN'S DOSE THEY GAVE ME THE FULL DOSE #AND REGARDING THOSE INSTRUCTIONS EVEN MY MOM HAD TROUBLE WITH FIGURING THEM OUT #AND SHE'S MENTALLY ABLED AND WASN'T DRUGGED UP ON WHAT WAS MEANT TO BE LOCAL ANESTHETIC #not to mention I WAS NEVER FUCKING TOLD THERE WOULD BE A RECOVERY PERIOD FOR THIS #IT WAS TREATED SO CASUALLY BY EVERY DOCTOR AND TREATED AS IF I COULD JUST WALK IN AND OUT #AT NO POINT WAS I TOLD I WOULD BE RECOVERING FOR TWO WEEKS. #AT NO POINT WAS I TOLD I WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO WALK. #NO DOCTORS TOLD ME ANYTHING EVEN WHEN THE ONES DOING THE PROCEDURE ASKED ME SEVERAL TIMES IF I HAD IT DONE BEFORE #AND I TOLD THEM NO SEVERAL TIMES AND THAT I DID NOT KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON OR WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DOING #I WAS GIVEN ZERO INSTRUCTION AND ZERO WARNING #AND I SHOULD NOT HAVE HAD TO ACTIVELY ASK FOR THIS INFORMATION #THAT SHOULD BE FUCKING BASIC TO TELL SOMEONE *GOING THROUGH A MOTHERFUCKING SURGICAL PROCEDURE* #I'm fucking pissed about this. i fucking hate doctors.

[britneyshakespeare]

why does scheduling my work days give me so much stress and anxiety

#i was supposed to do my first day at the high school today but i had literally so much anxiety i could not fall asleep last night no matter #what. i had so much dread. i took so much melatonin lol. #i could shut my brain off till i went into the application and deleted my schedule for the day #ive just been feeling so fatigued and exhausted since i got covid it's crazy. sometimes i'll have bursts of energy where im productive #but yesterday i was just so tired from loading the washing machine. just. fucking sorting clothes and putting them in #that i had to lie down on the floor for a few minutes in the middle of it #not my finest moment #tales from diana #i didn't have anything scheduled for tomorrow and i thought 'maybe if i feel better tonight ill call in' #but i dont feel. super better tonight. and the only thing that i could do tomorrow at my preferred school is kindergarten subbing #for like the main classroom teacher. which i havent done before so i figured 'yeah im not gonna get my anxiety up 2 days in a row' #i deserve to sleep tonight after all and i think if i committed to that i wouldnt be able to #but i am going into my elementary school on wed-thur-friday of this week. wednesday is only a half day but they'll probably find smth for me #to do in the afternoon. they usually do. and im fine w that. #idk im just much more comfortable in my elementary school. i guess bc ive worked there before and i went to school there #as a wittle student waaaay back in the day. like i know the building and it doesn't scare me and i know a good amount of kids there #and the staff don't intimidate me. so yeah. #i did schedule my first job at the high school FOR REAL THIS TIME and it's next friday. hopefully ill be doing better by then. #im working the thursday before it at the elementary so i'll be in the rhythm of that. idk how to explain it but it's harder to go back #to work when ive taken a day off. like that's also why im not going in tomorrow. #friday (4/07) was the first day i worked since i got covid and that was fine but also. i was so anxious just to go in. #and so so so so tired when i got home. and all weekend. #yeah i wasn't ready to start working at the high school today. that was nonsense. #hopefully all will go well on wednesday thursday and friday of this week. im trying to restore my energy and fix my sleep. thatll do wonders #i hope. i hope i hope i hope

[icewindandboringhorror]

my fellow advertising haters, which commercials do you currently yell ‘shut up shuT UP’ at every time they pop up before a youtube video or etc.?

#i hate facebook and their stupid 'meta' shit so much i can't not seethe #when I see it... go to hell why are you showing me this #also the weird gamer focused doordash ads that have been circulating #OH a few weeks ago I was getting.. idk what even to call them I dont even remember who the sponsor was (something like prager u but #i don't think it was them) but I was literally just getting... ads for transphobia?? not even like 'an ad about something #else but that is transphobic' but literally.. an advertisement to believe in the concept of hating trans people #which would often play strategically as an unskippable ad right before leftist political content or like things by trans creators #so I'm assuming it's directly targeted that way by whoever paid for the ad since I never got them on any other videos #youtube is sick so on and so forth #BUT those are kind of an obvious exmaple of something very hateable lol. here I just mean mostly like... #ads that are harmless but are just annoying because of the company behind them or because of the way they sell #like ANY ad that shows basically a bunch of clips of happy people or family gatherings or something like that and the tagline is basically #'HeY We The Company Are Part Of Your Family Associate Your Heartwarming Moments With Us' or whatever like #fucking explode into a million pieces.. loathing killing and maiming... #i also hated those whatever the hell they were like... man sasquatch bro dude ads or something where it was this agressive seeming dude #trying to be Ha Ha Funny but just coming off as obnoxious like 'hey bro dude why does your deoderant suck its because #youre a fucking dumb p*ssy haha you weak little bitch use this shit that will make you smell like a man hell yeah nutsack bro #punch im shooting a deer testosterone' or whatever like I don't even remember if it was for deoderant or what the actual premise was #it was just like.. some type of hygeine product being marketed Ironically And Sarcastically To Men but comes across as just like #cringy and annoying instead of genuinely tongue in cheek or whatever.. like what if we made toxic masculinity funny but also #we don't know how to write jokes really so it's kind of not funny and just a smug dude with a beard talking down at you for 2 minutes #but i also just hate corporations trying to be funny at all. I hate mint mobile ads and how theyre trying very hard to be casual #and relatable using that dude from movies that people like or whatever (can you tell i do not watch anything ghhj) #celebrity spokesperson marketing is also basically always bad without fail. I'm sure there are one or two situations where it #works in a way that doesnt seem obnoxious but I have never seen one. it could be my favorite actor/musician/etc. (i dont even have #any of those but pretend I do lol) and I would still see it and be like... wow cool advertising tactic you fucking idiot.. skip ad #'are we fwiends?? do we have a pawasocial rewationshiwp..? pwease buy from me?' i am killing you with wizard spells #ANYWAY ghbjhjk ... just... curiouse....

[zebratimw]

assortment

#uugg #svsss #mdzs #man I don't wanna tag shdjfkg #all of these excluding jiang cheng I plan to finish some day anyways dhfjkg #altho when is the question... hngg.... #also the first one is dhfjgkg bingqiu but like... withthat new geisha skin from idv #its called resilience of bamboo and is a rich green with bamboo and a black n red fan... idk man it just makes me think of them 🥺 #also I'm djjfjgg stressed rn #I'm making cosplay and I keep making little mistakes that ruin everything shfkgkg #ah.. it's so annoying... I hate all of it... but gotta push through anyways 💪 #also I got accepted teehee its an open enrollment so I was going in no matter what but its nice to get rhe email after waiting hehe #but also I think my friend is irritated with me so I've been leaving them alone but they also had like a breakdown so #idk how to go about interacting with them rn #cause like on one hand they completely ignored me earlier so clearly they don't wanna talk to me #but on the other hand they were having a rough time and maybe I should've said something anyways #and now its been hours and I'm still stewing on it shdkfkg so like I wanna say something still but now its awkward hfjfkgkh #man... I'm just gonna keep working UAHDKFKG #aiya.. I've been thinking about it before and moreso recently but I really don't make a good friend do I ? #sometimes I wonder if I'm capable of deeper emotion beyond myself cause moments like these make me think about how I always retreat #instead of pushing forward yknow like its awkward and weird but better going than pussyfootin around but ah I feel too awkward #so I just don't so like.. isn't that just me saying to myself I don't really care for my friend ? like even if its awkward for me wouldn't #it be better anyways? I've always been bad with comfort I've lived a very sheltered life so I lack a lot of experience and in a way empathy #so I've always been more on the cowardly and selfish side of things for sure... for a friend one should do better right but I can't seem to #be capable of doing more I just loiter jrjrjt how much is it base personality and how much is just lack of any real experience ? ehh.. #well no need to think too hard or else I'll be more useless sbdjgkg at least lets work and be a bad friend than be useless AND a bad friend

[pepprs]

god my throat is raw from yelling / panicking. And part of me is wary wondering if it’ll happen again. omgggg

#purrs #i think i knew it was a false alarm it just didn’t feel real. but what fucked me up is that i couldn’t t honk of what to bring. i knew we #we’re close to an exit so we would be fine and i know you’re not supposed to delay getting out and that the stuff is just stuff. but my #journals and diaries.. like i brought them all here for some new years reflections and i couldn’t bring myself to bring any of them. or my #sketchbook. or my switch or ds with my animal crossing town. idk. i guess smth flashed through my head like so much of what matters to me #is digital now but that’s not fucking true at all. why did i have a hard time deciding and brought nothing when my sketchbook is the most #important thing i have i think bc it’s my scrapbook / diary. it just fucked me ip so bad. now im staring at the ceiling and my throat hurts #and im going to be so tired tomorrow. that was so scary #we didn’t even make it outside bc the alarm stopped before we left the room bc we were scrambling to find coats and masks (lol) and them my #mom called the front desk and they said it was a false alarm. so idk. for those 45 seconds it could’ve been life or death and that’s so much #to think about. everything important went out the window it was just like wtf is even happening rn and my dad said it was a fire and i was l #like how do you know. ugh. that was so scary #like what fucked me up was. all the pieces of me are spread so thin in so many journals and shit that idk which one to bring. i would have t #to take the complete collection. and i can’t do that so i have to leave all of them. that’s the choice i made in that primal moment. it #QUITE LITERALLY does not matter and is not the most important part of this to be worried abt / fucked up over but that really shook me

[guideaus]

not to talk abt video games on this blog, esp tl*u2 (🤢🤮🤮), but i keep thinking abt how i compared wha to tl*u2 and its so weird. i dont know what to call it when that happens. i jokingly referred to it as cop propaganda in wha, but what is the thing where u try to justify/excuse (?) one thing, by bringing up an irrelevant thing...

in tl*u2, u meet the character abby, the fantasy post apocalyptic idf soldier bc neil druckmann is a weirdo, who brutally ambushes, and murders the father of the game's protag after he saves her. she did this because in the past he killed her dad, and he did this bc he wanted to kill his daughter (the protag), all those reasons and shit aside, the player most likely does not like abby because that is her introduction. she never changes her mind abt it, feels bad, sees any other side, etc., whatever. she is the immediate antagonist, and the player rightfully dislikes her like the protagonist does. the game then forces you to play abby; you get scenes like her playing catch with her police dog (who mercilessly attacks the protag/player), she is seen saving a zebra out of nowhere (paralleling to a past action the protag also did), she bonds with a kid (paralleling the father-daughter relationship of the original protag), and her scene w her dad dying is supposed to be sad (paralleling the protag's dad she kills).

in wha, the witch cops, whose names i cant even remember atm, fucking hate our 10 y/o protag. they want to apprehend her and wipe her mind because she used magic unlawfully to try and help some people, and she herself wasn't even originally a witch, which they think should be something people are born with. im being vague bc i haven't read it in a while, but the point is they've remembered this and highly suspect her of being ~evil~. the reader most likely doesnt like them, bc they're so callous towards a child who had no bad intentions. then u get this chapter with some of the witch cop's povs and the one has a bf (wow gay people!!), then they're shown being shunned by normal people (oh no, no one wants to speak to them...), then the one cop lady has a flashback of being saved by the group after she was sexually assaulted and blamed (obviously a bad thing), there might be more things beyond that chapter, but i cant remember lol.

anyways my point is both piece of media repeatedly bring up completely unrelated things in an attempt to change the viewer's opinion on the character you initially had strong feelings for either by trying to make u like them or pity them. its not bad to change your mind, but these ways feel so inorganic, like the creator has a gun to your head like "do you feel bad now..! see how sad that was? how cute that scene was?!?!" when something like playing catch with a dog who previously tried to maul the previous protag doesn't exactly make me feel better about it, or the one cop being gay has nothing to do w him kinda turning a blind eye to his coworkers aggressive behavior towards a minor. an organic way to change an audience member's mindset should be through things like the character actually changing their behavior, directly to the bad thing they did in the past. for example, if the mean attack dog was revealed to have been shown in a cage, mistreated by the soldiers, forced to fight, i might think "well, i guess, its not the dog's fault, its the horrible owners.", but i still wouldn't be like "oh i killed someone's puppy :(". when u play fetch w it as the other pov, i'm like 'hey, this is that asshole dog who hurt my character, fuck this dog." lol... im not gonna be like uwu doggo cute or whatever. and same w the witch cop characters... like ok, cool backstory, but u were still shit to the literal child, what does you being a victim of sa have to do with anything...

idk, like i finished watching extraordinary attorney woo recently, and there's a character who felt threatened by the autistic protag regarded as a genius, so mr tactician spends half the series trying to sabotage her, but he does eventually back down. he stops (one thing), then even sides with her and tries to connect (even more!). it's a good start to a "redemption arc" and changing the characters and viewer's mind abt him. he even had some "oh my family is sick, im just average, she's a genius", but the series doesn't use that as his excuse to treat the protag like shit. he goes beyond just stopping his behavior, and he can do more and actually address it w her and all that. that's a good way to change the watcher's mind.

either the character's actions change, or there is more information revealed, which i think is harder to successfully pull off. tl*u2/wha could count as that, but they weren't successful bc those other facts didn't relate to the action that got the character disliked. i can't really think of too many works that do it well, but ousama ranking when it didn't get weird last second was very good at it. the later chapters of trigun had vash in an argument w knives saying he's too quick to judge, and he doesn't know the whole truth, which i disagreed w vash's specific example used, bc imo that also didn't excuse them (if i even understood it right, i reread it over and over and never really was convinced/understood it or why it works as that, lol), but it can work when it is actually done right.

these two examples i've compared, the characters are associated with the military/police in some way, so it'd still kinda feel like propaganda, but it would've been so much easier for it to be some sort of misunderstanding first, then they try to make up for it, then i might want to give them a break or another chance, instead of seeing one is gay and ignoring what they did before lol. esp w their position, they have a "attack first, ask questions never" attitude which inherently is part of the problem. the one gay cop kisses his bf and marches off to assault this newly awakened fucking dead dude who is missing his orphan, disabled son. i don't feel bad for the cops in this situation, lol!

#personal #this is very long and is nothing. sorry FJHDFS #but yeah idk if i can call it bad writing or what #and like its kinda debatable on what it is but how the character who did the bad thing feels abt it could help lol #like if the one guy went 'wait maybe that was bad... maybe i shouldnt do that again. i'll go apologize.' that is something #instead the guy keeps glaring daggers at a kid and im supposed to like him bc he helped his cop friend?? i dont think soo #also i forgot to say but the moment thatd make the viewer dislike the character couldve been shown to be a one off moment #they dont normally do this/theyve never done it before/etc #but as i said it depends on like what the action is lol #anywayss

[audiovisualrecall]

So I knew my dentist appointment was at 2pm today. I have it *written down* on my phone's calendar as 2pm. SOMEHOW I convinced myself last night that the appointment was at 10:45am today. I have NO idea how. So when I called them just now and said I had gotten a voicemail yesterday (i missed their call) asking me if I wanted to change the time of my appointment, and they said 'yes someone canceled and we wanted to see if you wanted the earlier, 12:30pm time, instead', I got so confused because I was sure the appointment was 10:45AM, how is 12:30PM earlier??, and the guy was super confused too and checked with someone else and was like your appointment is 2pm.. I'm like Oh DUH I KNEW THAT! I did! Gah sorry!!!!

Why brain, why.

#i THINK that when i first made the appointment it may have been 10:45am? and then they asked to change it to 2pm? or something?? but i only #have it written down as 2pm! #and its Not my other dentist appointment coming up bc that one is 10AM. not 10:45. #brain fail big time i feel so bad i confused the shit out of the guy #also i tried to text my mom to ask her if 12:30 worked for her at the exact moment that she came tothe stairs and called up asking if i was #awake yet and reminding me to call and i had to mute myself and be like I'm on the phone!!! and she walked away before i could be like #'i texted u- check your phone!!' or just ask her if 1230 worked. she went to get dressed and apparently didnt check her phone when she got #back to the bedroom aand i was still on the phone so i was like uhhh yeah 1230 is fine sure i guess? #and turns out its possibly problematic idk #oh well she can drop me off and go do what she needs to #actually can i get there by bus? hmm

[buriesitsteeth]

ngl I am Struggling today

#having a really weird day like #I work up very depressed from the minute I opened my eyes #and we’ve gone out this morning and #it was just an anxiety fest from the moment we left the house #and it’s one of those like surreal moments like rn in this cafe #where it’s like my brain is being *so* stupid #and bullying me and trying to convince me I’m in danger or I’ll see someone I don’t want to see because we’re out #but I’m just sat here sipping my coffee like I’m normal #or like how I could actually like ‘hear’ (as in in my brain not hear it audibly) #my brain going like ‘oh see? see? can you just end it already because I’m so tired of the pain of living like this’ #like I’ve tried explaining this to friends and stuff before #it’s like obviously it’s just my inner voice or whatever you call it #but i see myself as separate from it #or sometimes the depressed/anxious part and what I call *my* voice in there are separate? if that makes sense? #and then sometimes I can have a dialogue between the two parts a bit #but i suppose that’s just me sorting through my thoughts or something #idk it’s just hard to know when something is just normal and me working out how I feel #and then…when I should be worried y’know? #thorn screams into the void